#while I'll do the rest

[shinmiyovvi]

Here's our new oc Major Dragomir Ostrowski. He's part of the Polish Intelligence Service and the only test subject in Group 935 where Dragomir wasn't being experimented on properly as he escaped the facility while fighting a zombie horde and teamed up with the crew later on.

#call of duty zombies #cod zombies #codz #cod zombies oc #codz oc #original character #fanart #dragomir ostrowski #ultimis dragomir #primis dragomir #a big thanks to my best friend who really helped me out with coming up with his name and nationality #and let her decide for his rank as well #while I'll do the rest #I didn't told my bff what is it for but she did help at the end #our one-eyed stoic bean is here yippie #Dragomir is the oldest of the main ocs #and the second tallest but Arthur is still the first one #He's the only main oc that I let him wear a hat huehuehue #his Primis counterpart's personality would be a bit similar to Lena and Gavi but mostly Lena and Dragomir would be the sunshine of the crew #their Ultimis counterpart on the other hand #they would be the partners in crime cause both are very angsty but Drago is just cold and stoic while Licia is straight angy

[seventh-district]

Making Incorrect H:SR Quotes Until I Run Out of (hopefully) Original Ideas - Pt. 4 - Nuthin' but Boothill Edition

[Pt. 1] [Pt. 2] [Pt. 3] [Pt. 5] [Pt. 6]

#boothill #honkai star rail #hsr #hsr incorrect quotes #hsr memes #honkai star rail memes #hsr meme #honkai star rail meme #hsr textpost #hsr boothill #boothill hsr #hsr spoilers #hsr 2.2 spoilers #hmmm... don't think it's worth tagging the others in the 9th image. this ain't about them #still unsure abt how to do the alt text for these kinda posts properly but hopefully i'm improving #anyways. don't think i've ever seen heard and typed "cowboy' so many times in one day as i have while making this good lord #i did a bit of digging around and haven't Seen any of these done yet so. here's hoping that's the case! #i'm only ~3/4 of the way through the 2.2 main quest but the need to make these compelled me to put these out Now #i can already tell u that there Will be more of these for Boothill tho bc i'm crazy abt him. probably enough to make another dedicated post #but i'm gonna wait until i'm fully caught up on the plot (and will probably spoil myself for more of his character lore after that as well) #speaking of. i'm gonna go eat mac n' cheese and stay up too late playing through the rest of the main quest #i'm loving it so far. many thoughts head full abt it all but in a good way. hoping for more Boothill moments as we approach the end #he's def not the main character here but he is to Me okay. he is to me. i'm scarfing down every crumb he drops #i'm also suffering from Aventurine withdrawals out here. Argenti mentioning him was Interesting but i need More. Where Is He. #also. was Argenti intentionally not voiced or was it a game issue?? the hell was that. threw me off so hard when i couldn't hear him speak #anyways i'm getting off topic and wasting precious gaming time so i'll be takin' my leave now

[blueskittlesart]

cold fruit in a hot kitchen (so i had this great watermelon last weekend)

#so I had this great watermelon last weekend. and the thing is it probably wasn't even that great of a watermelon #but I was four hours into an eight hour shift and we had thrown out all the watermelon salad because no one was eating it #and then our manager ran in and yelled that the client really fucking wanted watermelon salad. #so like six of us servers started frantically chopping watermelon. and the kitchen got really hot #in the way it does when everyone inside it is really stressed because there's no fucking watermelon salad #and after we chopped all the watermelon and the client got their fucking watermelon we all had a moment #where we looked at the remaining watermelon and we were so hot and cocktail hour was almost over anyway and the salads were all plated #and we all went for the watermelon and we ate it with the kind of rabid intensity you only get while eating cold watermelon in a hot kitche #and it was the best watermelon I have ever tasted and several days later i am still chasing the high of that fucking watermelon #and the thing is i know it isn't even the watermelon i'm actually missing #it's the feeling of cool liquid on hot skin and the feeling of a crisis averted and the feeling of camaraderie #that comes with devouring a watermelon in a hot kitchen with six other people who you have nothing in common with except that watermelon. #i don't dream of labor but i am dreaming now of being 4 hours into an eight hour shift eating watermelon in a hot kitchen. #i dream of laughing around the cold fruit in my mouth. I crave that watermelon like i'll die without it. #< honest to god this is real and that watermelon left such an impact on me that i had to draw it and write this. having a normal one #maybe this is insane but working in a team of people you truly like to do something you actually enjoy is so underrated #if only they fucking paid me i could work as a server for the rest of my life. unironically #skribbles

[luriart]

I read "The Disabled Tyrant's Beloved Pet Fish" and I had to get these out of my system

#the disabled tyrant's beloved pet fish #disabled tyrant's pet palm fish #mu tianchi #li yu #xiaoyu #doodle #my art #I still need to read the rest of the series but maybe I'll read the fantranslation while waiting for the rest of the books #for now u get this shitpost tho #also is there a short name for this series??? like the tgcf and mdzs and erha etc for this series??? #is it just beloved pet fish??? #dtbpf is that what u want from me???? #anyway I look forward to seeing these idiots fall in love #maybe I'll do more serious art of them later

[platykool]

im back

#bungo stray dogs #bsd #fyodor dostoevsky #nikolai gogol #bsd fanart #my art #what do you mean I wasn't gone #but I think it's been a while since I've posted anything #I'm slowly getting back to making elaborate drawings in color and all not just doodles #well these are doodles but #It's been a long time since I've really allowed myself to take the time to properly draw #I didn't have the time to really get seriously into it because of school #the school drained me of all my vital energy I'm not even being dramatic this time ugh #uuuh it's been a rude end of school year but now I have time #I will be able to rest and I really want to get back into drawing #the motivation is slowly coming back I think #so have these for now ! I'll post some other stuff later #take care everyone <3<3

[just-null-cult]

i have come here to personally thank you for giving me more than i asked for 🙏🏻 i am utterly grateful like IDJFKDKKFODOD 🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️🧎‍♀️ it made me so happy the last doodle has my heart he is so cute i will eat him

also there is a DROUGHT out there for us noritoshi fans like im living on CRUMBS its insane and omg dont even talk to me abt how it feels like to be a kashimo and ino lover (altho they are getting a bit more love now) my nori is still underrated :/ sooo hence im asking ur hand in friendship and in exchange i promise to share my hcs with you abt nori my sweet lil meow meow we're in this together 💪🏻💪🏻

also since its October, do you think he likes horror movies? i feel like he can withstand gory movies but its the jumpscares that get him and he wont tell u he's scared when u watch one with jumpscares owkfkdkd imagine him hiding his face against ur shoulder or something 😭😭😭 (i used to do that with my dad when we watched horror movies and i used to be like im not scared😤😤 when he asked if i was lmfao thats where this hc stemmed from)

N. NORITOSHI HIDING IN YOUR SHOULDER OR SUPPRESSING HIS REACTIONS TO THE JUMPSCARES....... WAS IT AN INVOLUNTARY REACTION TO USE YOU TO HIDE??????? WAS IT BUILT UP TRUST????? DID HE GROW USED TO HOLDING ONTO YOU WHEN HE GETS SURPRISED BECAUSE HE WANTS TO MAKE SURE HE HAS HIS VALUABLES SAFE????????? WAS IT A MOMENT WHERE HIS MIND JUST INSTINCTIVELY GRABBED THE FIRST THING HE WANTED TO PROTECT/BE PROTECTED BY???????? OH MY FUCK.

he's probably used to gore and gritty stuff like that since he sees it often being a jujutsu sorcerer and all. not to mention his technique is literally blood. maybe he's desensitized to gore films, the most you'll get from him is a disgusted scowl.

BUT DID YOU SEE HOW QUICK HIS EYE OPENED WHEN HANAMI SHOWED UP BEHIND HIM. YOURE SO FUCKING FR ABT JUMPSCARES. Noritoshi is that guy who wouldn't scream or yelp but gasp really loudly and jump out of his skin.

i feel like they get him most in horror because of the music building up anticipation. if its one of those fake outs where the jumpscare comes a bit after, he's fucked UP. It makes him instantly miffed, as he tries to regain his composure. He swears he's not usually like this, it got him by surprise is all..!

Noritoshi is the type that'd only watch a horror movie if the story is rich and complex. He's the type of guy to like open endings that make you think.. if it's a guilty pleasure movie where all the protags make stupid decisions, he gets annoyed right off the bat.

He's groaning and complaining about how imbecile the characters are, but would still watch it with you because you personally invited him. If he's lucky you could fall asleep on his shoulder or [insert movie cliche here] how could he pass that up? But Noritoshi wouldn't be able to focus on you if he gets twice as annoyed because its a bad movie + jumpscares. it still startles him, but the movie is so terrible, he's embarrassed it got him, especially in front of you!!!

if you get involved and you tell him to quiet down, Noritoshi would shift his focus towards you. like that awkward guy who thinks he's being smooth and lowkey about how he cuddles up next to you. He wants to be the tough guy who's shoulder you can hide in, and he is!! just not.. with jumpscares.......

#noritoshi #noritoshi x reader #kamo noritoshi #kamo noritoshi x reader #noritoshi kamo #noritoshi kamo x reader #merry october #sO SORRY THIS WAS SO LATE AGAIN WDYM OCTOBERS ALMOST OVER FUKC SO THESE OCTOBER POSTS WILL LEAK INTO NOVEMBER. AHA. #FAM I WAS SPITBALLIN SO HARD W THE WRITING BUT FUCK IT OH MY GOD I LOVED THAT #ty back for the cat noritoshi idea btw. ill love you forever #the way i fell off my chair and scrambled to read the rest of this ask was insane. friendship.? im so awkward but i'll be here for u homie #i love noritoshi headcanons.. #i eat them up like candy... #.... my cult member is moving up the unspoken ranks i made up while making this cult..... #as for ino and kashimo. i dont know much about them. #but i like the bits i do know! i like ino's energy.... he reminds me of an excitable puppy from what ive seen.. #i may draw more characters if i grow obsessed. i mean infatuated. or if they make noritoshi look good. #or if you do a damn good job at convincing me #but unfortunately. i was persuaded into a blood pact with my second in command to wait for the anime to finish then watch it with him then. #back to nori though. we are definitely together in this. i fucking understand the drought. pinterest keeps giving me geto #and yes. hes good too. BUT NOT THE MEOW MEOW I'M SCAVANGING FOR #THATS NOT MY STUCK UP BABYGIRL WHO'D SCOWL AT ME FOR PRONOUNCING WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE WRONG.... #btw peep the orange for pumpkins or something #happy halloween my awesome cult

[snarkspawn]

Well, it's that time of the year again!! Looking back it's been full of ups and downs (art- and otherwise) and overall I'm a little frustrated with where I'm at, but I do like some of the pieces I've drawn this year. I'll try to just focus on that :)

Anyway, I'll be leaving tomorrow to once again spend the holidays/rest of the year with my partner, so I'm going to take this opportunity to thank all of you for coming along with me on my art journey! Your tags, comments and support mean the world to me, so thank you for encouraging me to keep doing this despite the horrors lmao I hope you guys have yourselves a gay old christmas if you celebrate, and just a gay old time if you don't, and that you make it safely into the new year ♥

This also means that I'm taking a short break in my commission work, but I'll get back to everyone who is still waiting as soon as I'm back home!

See you all in 2024 (seriously h o w is it 2024 already that cannot be real)

#art summary #2023 #stuff and things #userpharawee #actually I'm quite happy with all the bg3 art I've been doing #the rest is a bit hit and miss lol #but overall I think it's alright. yea #kenbig brainrot still going strong too #I'd love to get back to drawing ocs more. and danmei stuff because I miss that #ahh I need more time to draw (I say that every year. and every year it's true) #anyway I have a bunch of old-ish stuff in my drafts that I never posted. maybe I'll push some of that out while I'm gone idk #we'll see

[louisdelac]

there’s a question to be asked i think about to what extent “getting out” can be conflated with “being saved” in this show, and what freedom actually means to any of these characters.

like you can argue that shiv saved ken by voting against him on gojo, but what if your intent behind saving someone is to inflict a worse punishment than if you’d just left them trapped? can a child weaned on poison survive on milk, or are you just sentencing them to a death by inches, starved of the only thing they know? and if you save someone specifically because you know that being saved is the worst thing that can happen to them, is that kindness or cruelty? at what point does a good thing become a malicious act?

and you can say that roman is finally free, but what exactly is he free from? the company? his father? does unlocking a cage mean saving a dog, or are you allowing him out on the street knowing there’s a kill shelter nearby? if the driving anxiety behind roman is that he’s an idiot and a failure—that he’ll never amount to anything, and trying will only lead to pain—and he’s finally cut loose once all of those anxieties have crystallized into cold hard fact in his mind, what has he actually escaped from? if the cage is in your mind, is it even possible for somebody else to unlock it?

the fundamental truth of a tragedy is that even being saved can be a death sentence, if the characters are incapable of escaping the thing doing them the most harm (themselves and their childhoods)

#'what about shiv' if i think about shiv i'm going to kill myself. she needs her own post. there's too much there to get into. #anyways seeing a tremendous amount of At Least Roman Is Free <3 tags that have me going. right. for sure. free from what? #because it's certainly not the intense amount of self disgust that has driven him in circles this entire time. #i fear he may feel the weight of alienation on his soul for the rest of his life. and he won't even try to alleviate it anymore. #and ALSO the idea that shiv went out of her way to save kendall as an act of like. altruism. like it was a sacrifice on her part #which i feel is a very toothless perspective on shiv and the psychological torment that's been weighing on her essentially since birth #like her choice in regards to gojo is one of the meatiest most harrowing bits of character work i've ever seen #and while of course there was love inside that action (because nothing these characters do is entirely divorced from love) #i don't think it was necessarily a kind or forgiving or sacrificial love #like this was an intense vitriolic snapping from a dog that has been kicked by her dad all her life. #and who absolutely refuses to accept that from her brother (because that would mean acknowledging that kendall takes the mantle of Dad- #and that she's subservient to him. which is the one thing she absolutely will never do #because it's a level of degradation that's finally a step too far) #anyways. um. insane season that i still can't look at directly or i'll perish on the spot. #succession

[beatleswings]

THE BEATLES performing "This Boy" on THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW. February 16, 1964.

#continuing the gifsets! #i'll do the rest over the weekend #anyways have john. paul. and george beautifully harmonizing #while ringo is in the back looking tired and dealing with jet lag. poor bby #the beatles #john lennon #paul mccartney #george harrison #ringo starr #the ed sullivan show #1960s #60s #1964 #my gifs #beatlesedit #thebeatlesedit

[destinyandcoins]

lmao i know it’s 2 seasons later but it just occurred to me: what if, at the beginning of s1, instead of deciding his funeral was the best way to get everyone back in one place, reginald decided to have a wedding instead

not only do we get the entertaining side-plot of this poor person reginald has bribed/blackmailed/begged to marry him For The Con, but the only reason any of the kids show up is because they got a wedding invite and immediately went “oh now this i gotta see”

#the episode is titled ''we only see each other at WEDDINGS and FUNERALS'' #i'm just saying it could have gone the other way #the umbrella academy #half the kids are there to check in with their new stepparent and make sure they're there of their own free will #''idk what he told you but you don't have to do this. say the word and i'll get you out of here'' #''no i promise i. definitely....want to...be here :) :) '' #i can't decide if it's funnier if five knew because time travel and he's already had time to adjust to this concept #so is perfectly polite and accommodating if slightly confused because the personality he built for them in his head isn't accurate #while the rest of them are going through the 5 stages of grief over discovering their dad is capable of romance #or if through some time fuckery five came from a timeline where he saw the news that reginald is dead #and then drops into the timeline in the middle of a fucking wedding and is COMPLETELY blindsided by this #but doesn't have time to deal with this shit #somehow THIS is the timeline where they do manage to prevent the apocalypse #and at the end of everything the new stepparent divorces the fuck out of reginald ASAP because holy shit they were not paid enough for this #and yet they're like ''well i did what you asked (even if you didn't mention the LOOMING APOCALYPSE) #but holy shit i'm taking these kids in the divorce because what the fuck dude what the FUCK. idc if they're all adults #they need a better family and now i'm obligated to be that for them'' #and reginald was playing fast and loose because of the LOOMING APOCALYPSE and didn't sign a prenup #so the new stepparent gets the academy (the property AND the actual kids) and reginald has to move out and live on the streets #tua meta

[essektheylyss]

I know a lot of us latched onto Charlock and Colin right off the bat, and they do have the air of holding back wells of history that are very intertwined with the political games of Calorum, which is intriguing and engaging and I'm looking forward to seeing what they're up to during the time jump and beyond, as well as finding out what exactly their webs of intrigue involve.

However, I am also in love with the other three and how much they feel like they're still on the outside of the political games, even if they are ensnared in them.

Amangeaux has been a queen for a span of time, but always a foreigner all the same—she seems cut off from the Vegetanian goings-on, though it's unclear how much that was the case when her husband was alive, and at the same time, she does not fall back onto playing the game when challenged like someone who is more trained in that might.

Karna is a spymaster, yes, and seems plenty knowledgeable about webs of information and the world's cruelty, but she's still a child. She does not have a large pool of experience to draw on, and she has never seen the scale of conflict that is coming up close. She most of them all believes that she does understand conflict and political games, while also believing herself above it, but at the end of the day, she is too young to truly understand the war that is coming.

Deli is the child of a leader of a nation, but that nation is viewed still as an outsider among those nations who consider themselves more civilized, and he is very trusting in spite of the training that he has been brought up in. He's an adult, but he exhibits a similar amount of naivete as the Rocks twins will twenty years from now, as heirs to kingdoms who are eager to make their own way and find freedom, without fully understanding the weight of responsibility that is settling upon them.

All of these characters exhibit varying degrees and kinds of innocence and naivete, and at the end of the day, for all of the comedy of the concept, this is a war story. War stories, particularly ones about how the world changes in times of war, require a certain amount of naivete, in order to contrast how brutal the world can become against what is lost in the process.

#dimension 20 #the ravening war #trw spoilers #trw meta #just to keep SOME semblance of order around here. like jfc. #welcome to those who followed me cuz I started posting about trw. I do not ever shut up and I don't intend to start now. #buy my silence for 8000 dollars a month i'll stop etc etc (narrator voice: she would not.) #tbh there is something to be said about just how impassive brennan was while sitting in character as charlock during the feast #like it's really interesting. a lot of the rest of the cast seem surprised or shocked but #brennan (who does react like !!! :O when out of character) sits and acts as though he's holding his staff and remains impassive #anyway I am just very excited to see how these two mindsets play off each other

[skunkes]

if life is categorized by Before Loss and After Loss then I exist in the before but with a countdown to the after. and the countdown is always always present and debilitating. the loss will be debilitating too but i cant help myself. i will always suffer twice.

#i cant let go of it. i cant even enjoy good moments without thinking about how they'll just be memories one day #how they're already memories since moments pass so fast #everything is I'll Miss This and i already miss it and i cant believe once you're gone you're gone forever #and ill never ever see you again. and your shell is in the ground but where did the rest of you go? #should i look at your body one last time? on one hand itll be the last time i see you. #on the other hand it will be the last time i see you. #and the memory of you will die with me too. as if neither ever existed #it impacts me so much too bc i dont feel close to anybody really...and i dont make friends easily #so whats going to happen when the people who have always been there arent there anymore? #im going to be alone for so much of my life. #i will record your voice so im ready for when i cant hear it from the source while also knowing it wont be enough and one day #ill be wishing it lasted longer. it could be 12 hours long and ill want more. #how do you surpass this? it hasn't even happened. when it happens i don't know what ill do. considering my whole life has been #the timer. the countdown. hours and hours of anticipatory grief #and then ill be next. me. some of all thats left of you. it cant be true. #sorry. this gets worse every single year and its been going insane lately #id surprisingly been managing it well for months somehow ! it wouldnt cross my mind...and now its there again #like it accumulated and its all coming out right now. ive been crying for hrs tonight and last night #one day his things will just be things. things ive made and given him will be in my hands again. #talkys #i want to go hug my dad but then ill just cry over how one day i wont be able to....! how do i store it? how do i save it? #how do i preserve it forever....even as i take my own last breath.... #i cant believe im the only one of me. and my dad is the only one of him. #i wouldnt want to be reborn as anyone else. i cant believe one day i wont get to draw or eat or be comfy in bed anymore. #i cant take it !! im so scared. ill be scared until the end. and you wont be there to hold my hand. im going to be alone. #and none of those years of grief and joy and memories will matter. #i wonder if it would help to tell him about this. i need something to hold onto for when it happens. anything. but i also know it'll make i #hurt more; obviously. just another piece of him that'll be gone one day

[screwpinecaprice]

I really don't have time to be bummed out right now so I made them a little sad instead.

#Sad posting I guess? Ah teh dichotomy of feeling tired while also thinking sleeping is a waste of time. Just so much to do! 😤 #connverse #steven quartz universe #connie maheswaran #my shiz #steven universe #su #skedoobles #Messy sketchbook #Also I lost my XpPen nibs. And it's just so out of character of me to not put them where they always were? #It took me this long to realize my screen is scratched up because my current had already worn out. And I can't find the replacement nibs! 😭 #I always put my extra nibs in the box where I put my laptop is on top of. But they're not there??? But why would I move them? I #seriously could not remember! #Also just in case I mixed them with my older tab's nibs so I checked it..... Those nibs are missing too! Like. Why on Earth????? Why #would I separate the nibs from the rest of that tab! Everything was tucked away inside that box but the nibs aren't???? #I am so confused. I'm the only one who could've moved them. But WHY would I do that???? So uncool past me. So uncool. >:( #Anyway. #I barely am finished a single submission for connverse week. 😅 I'll try finishing at least that one today #chibi

[loving-jack-kelly]

jack and race would start a fight club in middle school and davey would be the one trying to tell them not to do it because the teachers will catch them only to inadvertently tell them the best ways to do it without getting caught and then end up as the accidentally ringleader by being the one to make sure people are fighting as safely as possible so when the fight club finally gets broken up jack and race are absolutely enraged that not only is davey getting in trouble with them when davey really didn't want anything to do with it but also davey is getting all the credit for being the brains behind the operation.

#davey is just like please don't call my mom I'll do lunch detention every day for the rest of the year if you don't call my mom #sarah tells their mom immediately and then esther and mayer have the age old problem of #'my kid got in trouble for something objectively hilarious and also for something we know he didn't actually do' #'how to handle this without laughing and while still impressing that fight clubs are a bad thing to be involved in' #newsies #jack kelly #racetrack higgins #davey jacobs #les gets to middle school years later and his classmates are like #'well MY big brother says YOUR big brother ran a fighting ring at lunchtime for a year and a half' #and les is like wow my brother was so cool in middle school

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

season 1 episode 13 thoughts

A SCULLY EPISODE!!!! i was overjoyed and then i felt deep and immeasurable grief as the minutes went by.

she wants to leave her christmas tree up all year <3 she's a good cook <3 her dad calls her starbuck <3

but her dad is being avoidant! he didn't even say i love you when he left!

! dana scully lore reveal ! her dad lowkey sucks!!!

and then he IMMEDIATELY DIED right after! that is sick and twisted. why do they make my girl endure such pain.

the next note i made for the episode was "omg windows you have to crank!" which was a brief moment of levity among the Sorrow. except even the guy doing the said window cranking was kidnapped right after. still, the novelty of it all!

when scully came into work even though her dad had just died... we see mulder call her "dana" for the first time... she was visibly taken aback by this... and mumbled her name back to herself... my heart was melting out of my body

and when i thought i was going to already collapse from the "dana" moment, he tells her she should take some time for herself and then. softly cups her cheek. and strokes it with his thumb. holy fuck i nearly sobbed. it was the softest thing i have ever seen. what the hell man.

he has this instinctive need to touch her. to use his touch to keep her safe or bring her comfort. it will be psychoanalyzed at a later date from me but for now, know i am noticing the motifs.

(also, when he finally left his office, we see that he kept the hat from the alien obsessed guy in episode 10... good to know this is a man who takes souvenirs. take him to the zoo and see what he comes back with)

so then we cutscene to her dad's funeral and we learn that her father was in the navy- perhaps this is why he is unduly harsh. and then we got ANOTHER scene that beat my heart into a pulp: scully turning to her mom and asking "was he proud of me?" her mom waits for a beat and says "he was your father". HEY! THAT'S NOT AN ANSWER!!!!!!!!!

(who wouldn't be proud of scully? i'm taking names. write them down)

when interrogating the death row psychic mulder once again said "i want to believe" and i once again wrote in my episode notes "HE SAID THE LINE!"

interesting that this is an episode where scully believes and mulder doesn't, almost immediately from the beginning of the episode. but the psychic says stuff her dad would say and therefore she gets emotionally invested even though mulder says it's nonsense, and that this guy is setting them a trap because mulder got him put on death row. and when she listens to the psychic's clue and find evidence at an abandoned warehouse, mulder yells at her for putting herself in danger. to which she said:

"i thought you'd be pleased i opened myself to extreme possibilities"

scully i am REACHING through the screen and telling you i'm proud of you in case no one ever did that before

(and MAYBE mulder yelling at her for putting herself in danger because he thinks he needs to protect her WAS deeply satisfying but still. read the room my king)

(also revealed in this scene: mulder is a jimi hendrix fan. i am tucking this knowledge in my pocket and storing it safely)

then the psychic decided to reveal some of her personal memories and we learn she stole a cigarette when she was 14 and she thought it was disgusting but she wanting to do something they would disapprove of. and she was so scared but so excited. are you kidding me? are you absolutely kidding me. the need to rebel from an assigned role in which she feels she MUST be perfect has haunted her from a young age, and when she finally did something her parents really disprove of- joined the FBI instead of working as a doctor- she's met with rejection. so now we know she's had this terrible need to do what pleases those she loves and to break that is a rush from its inherent moral Wrongness. the isolation of being the Good Child who does what She's Told vs. the isolation of being the Less Good Child who loses their parent's approval. that terrible ache of knowing you once pleased them and now you don't. the conditional nature of affection. ohhhhh good lord.

later mulder gets shot and scully thinks the psychic lured him into a trap which leads to her screaming at him (like SERIOUSLY screaming) that if mulder dies, she'll kill the psychic herself. now this was especially crazy because we have only at this point seen her yell once before which was in episode 8, but this was 10x that intensity. also wild for revealing that she will kill anyone who hurts mulder. once again i say holy FUCK.

mulder is wheeled in to the hospital and still telling her not to believe him, says that he's luring her into another trap. at this point i was yelling "TELL MULDER HE KNEW ABOUT YOUR DAD!" but she was too deep in the grief to bring it up

(throughout the entire episode she is hallucinating her dad in places he isn't, which is arguably far more impactful than just seeing her cry)

when the psychic reveals the location of the murderer and they go to check it out, scully straight up shoots the suspect. she is NOT playing around, y'all. i think this is the first time we see her shoot someone, which is already a lot to unpack. but then she doesn't follow the killer because the psychic had warned her against it and in this way he saves her life.

then she says thank you to the psychic, who says "come to my execution and i'll give your father's message to you" and she DOESN'T GO. mulder asks her why, because now he seems to think that psychic dude really WAS telling the truth, and she no longer does:

"why can't you believe?" "because i'm scared"

she's scared!! she's scared to believe. she's scared to know what is out there and she seemed scared to know what her father had to say. isn't there enough uncertainty in this world ruled by facts and science? what could the possibilities be like beyond that? why believe in what you cannot control? she says she knew what he would say because "he's my father". is that enough for her? or was she too frightened to hear that he wasn't proud of her?

overall i've said "holy fuck" like a LOT during this recap and i truly feel that those are the only words i have for the situation. getting to see more scully lore was EXACTLY what i was hoping for and i'm so pleased but also so so so sad. like she keeps her christmas tree up and she's a good cook and she has this terrible need for her father's approval that he won't give and then he goes and dies. i need about 10 beach episodes to make up for the sadness here. chris carter i'm in ur walls.

#also: mulder is acts of service/touch love language coded and i'm thinking words of affirmation for scully #like i know the whole love language model is problematic but if i see it i'm gonna say it. sorry. #geez i feel like i need a nap after that. what the fuck. my sweet poor scully. #i felt her becoming a character i am going to stan for the rest of my life during this #oh did i see a bit of myself in her? MIND UR BUSINESS!!! #juni's x files liveblog #txf #the x files #dana scully #<- adding that tag because i did a LOT of character analysis here and moving forward i'll maybe make those their own posts #once i have more of the show under my belt i'll do my character analysis posts like i do on my main for sylvie #haven't done it in a while on main though because i hated loki s2 lmao not much to work with!

[vargaslovinghours]

And never let you go ♥

Bonus without the overspill lighting:

#💟 #Digital art #Full Art #Art #Edgar #Scriabin #It's that time of year again where I get real sappy about Vargas ♥ Because yes! Once again it is my own personal Vargasversary! 🎊 Yaaaay #Seven years now - I don't know what to do with seven years it feels like a hard to define number haha #Right in the middle between five years and ten years! A while to be certain but hard to define as a Long Time either hmm #Well whatever it doesn't matter <3 The important part is that I still love Vargas and them very much ♥♪ #I actually didn't really have any specific plans for this Vargasversary :0 I haven't been drawing them much again #Other things have drawn my focus and attention hehe ♪ #So I just kinda set my hand loose - no sketches on paper no defined idea - this is just what my hand/brain came up with in the moment #I'm pleased :) I think it accurately expresses how I feel about them hehe <3 #I wrote down what ended up being the text/caption a couple months ago while I was in Big Love in their direction #I don't remember what inspired it anymore other than just - They ♥ Themst ♥ Do love them <3 #I've planned my next reread now ♪ Barring anything drastic (like an update lol) I know when I'll be rereading next #I'm looking forward to it! :D As always hehe <3 #It's still a bit a ways off which works well for recharging :) #And of course I'll be doing my usual in the meanwhile - this and the main anniversary and my sketchdumps and Requestober haha #The caption is as much me as it is Edgar after all <3 #Even quiet and sleeping I still find them as a comfort - a place I find rest and joy in ♥ #Inspiring and lovely and wonderful - pretty and tender and dear! #Oh and #Always finding a way to flip up the bottom of the shirt #Hehe <3