#happy halloween my awesome cult

[spiderking-of-queens]

Chapter Twenty-Two: The Hideout

Summary: You get an invitation to see Corroded Coffin at the Hideout, but the night doesn’t exactly go according to plan. (Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader/Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader, 6.7k words)

Warnings: Underage drinking (don’t do it kids!!!), brief mention of puking, swearing, ANGST

Tags: @blackbirddaredevil23 @princesseddie @dessxoxsworld

(if you asked to be added to my taglist for this series and it’s not notifying you, I’m sorry! it’s very possible that I could be doing something wrong but I have no idea what lol 😭 let me know!) 

A/N: Happy Halloween! Sorry this isn’t a Halloween chapter, but it does take place on Friday the 13th, so… close enough? Lmao

(PS - did I shamelessly wear my hellfire club tee today? Yes. Yes I did.)

Masterlist

September 13th, 1985

That Friday, you finally made good on your promise to join Hellfire, and afterwards you told the kids to go ahead and wait in the car while you helped Eddie pack up for the night.

“You didn’t have to do that,” He said, taking the dice out of your hands to put them away. When his fingers brushed yours, you unintentionally drew back in shock, then cleared your throat to pretend you hadn’t.

“Uh, I know. I just figured I’d make myself useful somehow, since I’ve just been loitering around this whole time.”

He laughed at you, shaking his head in amusement.

“You can join in, you know. Maybe one of the freshmen could help you get started. Or, ya know… I always could, too.”

“I appreciate that. But to be honest… I really don’t think I’m smart enough to wrap my head around all of this.”

He scrunched his nose up at you in surprise, tilting his head a little.

“You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m dead serious. I don’t know how you guys store all of this information in your brains. It’s impressive, honestly. But I really love watching you all play. I’d imagine it’s how people who like sports feel when they watch a game.”

“I wouldn’t know,” He chuckled. “But if that’s what you’d prefer to do, I’m cool with it. Maybe we could use a spectator section. Boost moral.”

“Yeah, they’re gonna need it since you keep coming for their lives.”

“Oh, if you think it’s brutal now, just wait. It’s about to get much worse.”

“Can’t wait,” You said with a devious smirk as you took one of his boxes out of his hands without asking. You knew that if you had, he would have just refused your help again. He smiled gratefully at you as you turned to leave the room, then you walked beside him out to his van where Jeff was waiting for him. 

“Hey, man, I’m sorry to ask, but my ride fell through. Would you mind giving me a lift home?”

“Sure, no problem,” He said as he opened up the back doors of his van to put his things in. 

“Awesome, thanks,” Jeff replied, then his eyes drifted over to you when Eddie took the other box out of your hands. “Hey, Y/N,” He added with a polite nod.

“Hey, Jeff. Good call tonight, choosing to cast foresight to warn Mordenkainen about the Cult of Vecna.” 

He seemed slightly taken aback by this, and Eddie turned to look at you, too, after closing the van doors.

“Oh, thanks. You gonna join in next time?”

Eddie scoffed and crossed his arms, shaking his head at you.

“Nope, she said she’s too dumb to play,” He mocked you.

You smacked his arm playfully in protest.

“I didn’t say that! I just… don’t want to drag you guys down. I wouldn’t know what I’m doing half the time.”

“Maybe Eddie could give you private lessons,” Jeff teased, making your cheeks turn red. Eddie shot him a look. 

“Alright, we should probably go,” He said, quickly changing the subject as he tried to back away to the driver’s side of the van. “Are you gonna need a ride to The Hideout tonight, too, Jeff?”

“Most likely. That okay?”

“Why not,” He muttered through clenched teeth, then turned to you. “Guess I’m designated babysitter, too.”

You would have laughed at his attempt at an inside joke with you, but when he brought up The Hideout it shook a memory loose in your head. 

“Wait, isn’t that where your band plays?” You asked, eyebrow raised. 

“Uh, yeah. That’s right,” He said, stopping his attempted escape and taking a step back towards you. He was once again surprised that you had remembered something he’d mentioned to you.

“Are you in it, too, Jeff?”

“Yep. I play rhythm guitar, Freak plays bass, Gareth is on drums, and Eddie’s on lead guitar and vocals.”

Vocals? He sang, too? Your heart skipped a beat at the thought.

“That’s so cool. I didn’t realize you were all in it. I hope I get to see you guys play sometime.”

“Then you should come tonight,” Jeff offered with a knowing smile, ignoring the glare Eddie was sending his way that was begging him to stop. 

“Really? Thanks. I’d love to.”

Eddie turned his head back towards you, his eyes wide with shock that you had agreed so easily. 

“You would?” He asked, and Jeff gave him a look like he was an idiot for being surprised. 

“Yeah,” You shrugged. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Y-yeah,” He stammered. “Of course. We go on at eleven.”

Shit. You were slightly worried your parents would call the cops on you for having their car out that late, but it was too late to back out now. 

“Okay. I think I can make that work.”

Eddie just continued to stare at you in surprise, and Jeff was looking between the two of you with an amused smile on his face. Then the three of you jumped when you heard a car horn from across the parking lot. You looked over to see Dustin leaning into the driver’s seat of your car, his hand laying on your horn. You rolled your eyes and turned back to give Eddie and Jeff an apologetic look.

“Sorry, guys. I guess that’s my cue. A babysitter’s job is never done, right Eddie?”

He nodded, his lips spread into a wide smirk. Jeff scoffed.

“You know I’m only two years younger than you, right?” He protested. 

Eddie reached out to pinch his cheek mockingly, and Jeff swatted his hand away with a scornful glare. Eddie just giggled at himself like a little kid. 

“Alright, I’m getting in the car,” Jeff muttered as he walked past you to the passenger side of the van. “See you tonight, Y/N?”

“Yeah, see you later!” You agreed, then he got in and shut the door, leaving you and Eddie alone again.

“You sure you don’t mind me coming tonight?” You asked him. 

“Not at all. But I am surprised you want to, to be honest. I think I vaguely remember asking you to come a few years back, and you didn’t seem very into it. If I’m recalling that correctly.”

His tone was light, but you could tell there was genuine confusion behind it.

“That’s not true! I wanted to go, I was just terrified. Still am, if I’m being honest.”

“Terrified? Of what?”

“It’d be quicker if I told you what I wasn’t afraid of,” You snorted. 

“Okay, well… whatever it is… I promise I’ll look out for you. Deal?”

You smiled at him, even though you knew the biggest thing you were scared of was making yourself look like an idiot in front of him, and that was something he couldn’t save you from.

Dustin honked your horn impatiently again, this time leaning on it for a solid thirty seconds, refusing to let up even when you waved your arms at him to stop.

“Alright! Jesus, I’m coming!” You yelled when the noise finally ceased, then started making your way to your car. Eddie chuckled at you.

“So, I’ll see you tonight? At eleven?” He called after you.

“I’ll see you then!” You spun around to call back, then skipped off excitedly to your car. You couldn’t help yourself.

It required a little bit of encouraging self-talk to get yourself to commit to actually going later that night, but after changing your outfit multiple times, doing your best to sneak out of your house without alerting your parents, and sitting in the parking lot of The Hideout for twenty minutes, you finally made it. When you walked in, you only had to stand in the doorway for a few awkward moments before Eddie met your eye-line from the small stage across the room. As soon as he recognized you, a wide grin appeared on his face and he paused setting up to hop down and make his way over to you. He stopped a few feet away from you, his arms outstretched as he looked you up and down. Then he crossed them over his chest and took a few bashful steps closer to you.

“Holy shit. Are you actually here or am I hallucinating?”

“I told you I’d be here, didn’t I?” You giggled.

“Yeah, but… I’ve heard that before,” He muttered with a smirk. You scoffed indignantly in response. 

“Hey! That was one time!”

“Yeah, yeah. Alright. I’m sorry. I’m just glad you’re here.”

“Me too. I can’t wait to see you guys play.”

“Well, forewarning… we’re not the best.”

“I seriously doubt that. But if we’re really being honest here, I should tell you that I’m not the biggest fan of heavy metal music, so I probably won’t be able to tell either way.”

He squeezed his eyes shut and pretended to stab himself in the heart, then started to fall backwards before you grabbed him by his jacket and pulled him back up.

“I’m sorry!” You squealed. “Please don’t hate me.”

“Hate you? Never. Just heartbroken.”

“Well, I guess you’ll just have to convert me, then.”

His lips turned up in a devious smile when you said this. 

“I’ll take that challenge. It’s probably not gonna happen here tonight, but I already know which records I wanna play for you.”

Your heart fluttered. You wondered if he actually meant it, or if he was just being nice. Either way, you really liked the sound of it. 

“Yo, Eddie! Sound check!” Jeff called from the stage, and you waved politely back at him as Eddie tried to brush him off. 

“Better go,” You said with a laugh. “I don’t wanna get you in trouble.”

“Yeah, alright,” He agreed reluctantly, beginning to back away from you. “Make yourself comfortable. The owner is cool, and he pretty much only pays us in free booze, so feel free to get yourself something to drink while you wait. Just put it on my tab.”

You almost declined his offer, but you were so nervous that a beer was actually sounding pretty good to you. 

“Thanks. I’ll be over at the bar, then. Break a leg.”

He gave you a shy smile and an awkward salute before sauntering back to the stage. You got your beer and chose a table near the back so you could disappear. You hoped Eddie wouldn’t mind. 

When they started playing, there weren’t many people paying attention. Just a few drunks at the bar bobbing their heads and a small group of people around your age hanging out at a table close to the stage. 

Whether you liked heavy metal or not, you couldn’t deny that they were great. You knew that he was just being modest when he kept trying to convince you that they weren’t any good, but you didn’t expect them to be this good. Especially Eddie. You could tell how passionate he was about playing music, and the raspy tone in his voice as he sang was incredibly compelling. You rested your head in your hand and watched, absentmindedly drinking your beer. You weren’t even listening to the music anymore, just following Eddie as he moved around the stage. The way he bit his lip and poked his tongue out as he concentrated on playing the right chords. His arm muscles tightening as he played. The way his hair moved. The complete and utter joy on his face, same as when he was playing D&D with his friends. It was all incredibly attractive.

You were so busy focusing on him that you hadn’t realized how fast you chugged your beer until you felt the buzz behind your eyes. 

Shit. You were already tipsy. And it only took one drink.

After they were done playing their set, you watched as Eddie spoke to his bandmates, debating whether you should wait for him to find you or go up to him yourself. Thankfully he met your eyes again from across the room so you didn’t have to decide, and held up a finger to tell you to stay put. Then he hopped off the stage towards the bar before making his way over to you with two more beers in his hand. He threw himself down in the seat across from you and slid one of them towards you. You knew you shouldn’t start another one since you had already been adequately affected by the first one, but you appreciated the gesture and didn’t want to be rude. You thanked him with a shy smile and he nodded back at you, then you stared down at the tabletop before he leaned closer to you to try to capture your attention again. 

“So… what did you think? Have you been converted yet?” He joked. 

“Pretty close, I’d say. You guys were really good. Seriously. You’re so talented.”

“Aw, shucks. You’re too kind.”

He smirked and sat back in his chair again, pausing your conversation to lift the collar of his tee shirt up to his forehead and wipe the beads of sweat left over from his performance away. You tried not to stare at the small bit of his torso that appeared when he did it, or to focus too hard on the fact that his dewy skin was glistening kind of sort of beautifully in the dim lights of the bar. When he lowered his shirt again, you blinked and took a quick swig of your drink, doing your best to pretend like nothing had happened. You nearly choked but played it off like you were just clearing your throat before you spoke up again.

“How do you do even do that?” You croaked as you failed to hold back one more cough. If he noticed, he didn’t give you any indication he had. He just raised an eyebrow at you in confusion. 

“Do what? Play guitar? Well, step one was having no friends as a kid, and step two was doing nothing else besides practicing it for, like… ten years straight.”

“No,” you giggled. “Not the guitar playing. Although, that is extremely impressive in and of itself. But, no, I meant… performing in front of people. Where do get the confidence to do that?”

“Shit, I don’t know. Where do you get the confidence to show your art?”

“That’s…not the same thing,” You scoffed.

“Isn’t it?”

“No. I do all of the hard work in private.”

“Yeah, but… sharing it with people sure takes a hell of a lot of courage,” He mumbled, raising his eyebrows at you as he took a sip of his beer. 

You tilted your head at him impatiently.

“You’re deflecting.”

“I’m not,” He chuckled. “I swear. Look, I honestly don’t know how I do it. It took a lot of work to get over how initially terrifying it was, I guess. I wasn’t always this totally badass heavy metal rockstar, you know.”

“Oh really? I assumed you came straight out of the womb like that. The hair, the tattoos and all. Guitar in hand.”

“I wish. But nope. It was a long and painfully awkward road to get here, unfortunately.”

You rested your chin on top of your clasped hands, preparing for a story. 

“Do tell,” You said, fluttering your eyelids at him, and he grinned at your interest. 

“Well… I was a scared shitless little kid who got bullied constantly, and then I met Jeff and he liked all of the same weird stuff as me. And after that we met Gareth and Freak and decided we all wanted to be professional rockstars at the ripe old age of… twelve. So we started Corroded Coffin. The first time we played in public was actually for the Hawkins Middle School talent show, and we were… awful. Terrible. I’d only been playing for, like, a year and we made absolute asses of ourselves.”

You pictured a little version of Eddie trying to play to a crowd for the first time, and it was hopelessly cute.

“Ouch,” You giggled. “How’d you guys bounce back from that?”

“I don’t know. For some reason we just stuck with it. Spent all of our time in Gareth’s garage practicing until we got better, and then one day we just decided to go for it for real. We harassed the owner until he let us play for him, and then he liked us enough to let us perform here. That’s pretty much it, I guess. More or less. Honestly, I think we just had too much fun together to quit.”

“That’s really nice. I’m sorry you had a rough start, but I’m glad you found the things you love so young. And your people.”

He tried to hide a shy smile by pausing to drink, but you still caught it. 

“Yeah. Well, what about you?” He asked, deflecting again. “Art’s your thing. Have you found your people?”

You really didn’t think art was your thing anymore considering you hadn’t actually made anything since before graduation. Maybe getting caught up in world-ending events was your thing now. That seemed more appropriate considering recent circumstances. But you brushed over these thoughts to answer his question. 

“I… think so. Kind of? We didn’t really find each other, we were more… thrust together, I guess? It’s not really the same. I love them, I would do anything for them, but we didn’t exactly choose each other, you know? We don’t actually have too much in common.”

“Oh, you don’t have a lot in common with a bunch of fourteen-year-old boys? Never would have expected that,” He replied sarcastically with a smirk.

“Actually, sadly enough, they’re the ones I have the most in common with. It’s the friends my age I have trouble understanding sometimes.”

“How come?”

Because Nancy would’ve rather spent time with Jonathan or working on the school paper, Robin was so smart and her thoughts moved so quickly that most of the time it exhausted you trying to keep up with her, and Steve couldn’t seem to make up his mind about whether he wanted to be your friend or…more than that? 

“I don’t know. Maybe I just haven’t fully grown up yet,” You said instead. That was also true. He snorted at you. 

“You are preaching to the choir, here. Look at me, I’m almost twenty and still in high school. I spend half of my Friday nights playing D&D with a bunch of freshmen. Clearly, I haven’t done a lot of growing up.”

“That’s not true. But believe me, I get the appeal of D&D. Really, I do. Up until recently, I spent most of my time daydreaming about a world that was pretty much exactly like some of the storylines in your campaign, actually. Full of fantasy, full of adventure, and quests, and… fighting monsters.”

You trailed off after this and took a long drink, hoping to god that he didn’t realize the hesitation in your voice and ask you to elaborate further. You had also conveniently left out the fact that you daydreamed a lot about romance all throughout high school. Specifically with him. 

“And now?” He asked, tilting his head curiously. You set the bottle back down on the table and began peeling at the label anxiously as you thought up an answer. 

“And now… be careful what you wish for, I guess,” You mumbled with a sad chuckle. You weren’t sure what else to say. It was a heavy question. A lot had changed since the last time you had spent any time daydreaming in your room. Life had become much crazier than anything you could have ever dreamt up. 

You didn’t know what you wanted your ideal life to be anymore, other than the fact that you were pretty certain you still wanted Eddie to be part of it. Clearly, there were some things you were still trying to work out. 

You also really didn’t know why you felt the need to even share any of that about yourself. There was just something about him that made you want to spill your guts out. You hated it and loved it at the same time. The alcohol certainly wasn’t helping you either. 

He squinted at you, trying to figure out what you really meant before someone called out to him from across the bar. He turned to see for a moment before looking back at you apologetically, and you waved a hand at him. 

“It’s okay. Go. I’m gonna wait here.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah. No worries. Your fan club needs you,” You teased. 

“Ha ha. Right. Just… hold that thought. I’ll be right back, I promise.”

He got up and walked away and you let your cheek fall hard against your hand as you took another very long drink of your beer. You couldn’t help watching him from across the room, and you noticed one of the people he was speaking to getting particularly cozy with him. She put a hand on his shoulder, throwing her head back in laughter at something he had said. As soon as her face came into focus, you realized who it was. It was Jo. Pretty, nice, perfect Jo. Of course she would be there. With all the excitement about seeing Eddie again and finally being able to hang out alone with him, you’d forgotten all about her. And now there she was, wrapping her arm around him. A cruel reminder that you weren’t, in fact, in your dream world, and that there was a very real possibility that Eddie already belonged to somebody else. 

You suddenly felt like you were an intruder in his world. Like you weren’t meant to be there that night. What were you doing? This wasn’t you. You didn’t go to metal concerts at shitty dive bars and get drunk. You’d never even stayed out past eleven before.

You weren’t really sure what this was anymore, or what you were doing. You had spent all of high school dreaming about being with Eddie, just getting the chance to spend any time with him at all, and now it was actually happening. And it just felt… strange. Your fantasizing was always misleading you. All of that time building it up in your head had ruined it. He wasn’t just a daydream anymore, he was a real person. And he was across the room with another girl. It felt like you just didn’t fit. 

You finished your beer quickly and got up to get a couple more. You waited for a little while longer, watching as Jo continued to touch him flirtatiously before the jealousy finally got the best of you and you escaped the bar to sit outside. 

You leaned against the brick wall and looked up at the clear night sky. It was another pretty night. It made you think about Steve again. It made you miss your friends. It made you feel really fucking lonely. Maybe you didn’t have much in common with them, but they had always been there for you without fail. Until, of course, you had to go and mess things up with Steve. You wished you could take that night back more than anything. Now everything was ruined. You weren’t sure how long you were left alone with your rambling thoughts before Eddie joined you.

“Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself?”

He took off his leather jacket and placed it over your shoulders. You didn’t answer him or bother turning away from the sky.

“I’m… sorry I took so long,” He offered, probably picking up on your distress. “I tried to get away, but those assholes like to talk."

You saw him tilt his head to try to get a better look at your face out of the corner of your eye.

“You…okay?” He asked tentatively.

“You’re so good. You know that right?” You responded, completely ignoring his question. He squinted at you quizzically.

“I… thanks? Are you… drunk? How much have you had to drink?”

You held up four fingers and he couldn’t resist laughing at you a little bit. 

“Wow. Somebody’s a lightweight. That’s actually really impressive.”

“Yep. I am. You know why? Because I don’t do this. I don’t drink, I don’t go to bars to watch metal bands. I’m not like you, Eddie. We’re so different. I’m not brave, or confident. I’m soooo… hopeless. You deserve somebody good like you. Somebody that knows exactly what they want and isn’t a ticking time bomb.”

“What are you talking about? Hey, look at me for a second.”

He turned his body towards you, inching so closely to you that his knees were touching yours. You lowered your head to look at him like he had asked, blinking as your eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden movement of your head. It felt like your brain was lagging. You felt dizzy, and not just because Eddie was sitting so closely to you. 

“You are absolutely insane if you think that I’m somehow better than you. You need to know how completely fascinating I think you are. You’re, like, the coolest girl I’ve ever met. You’re the brave one.”

“Bullshit.”

“No, not bullshit.”

“Yes, bullshit.”

“Well… I think you’re wrong.”

You let out a weary string of laughs and he stared at you with his brows furrowed. 

“What’s so funny?”

“If you even knew the half of it… I don’t think you’d think I’m very brave. You probably wouldn’t even like me at all.”

You laughed again, but his shoulders slumped with worry. 

“Y/N… what’s going on? What happened to you this summer? What monsters have you been fighting?”

You weren’t sure if it was a combination of remembering the events of the summer and him interrogating you or just your four beers finally getting to you, but before you could even think about a response to his questions, you leaned away from him and promptly vomited onto the sidewalk.

“Whoa, whoa, shit. Are you okay?” He asked, not even wasting a second before he was holding your hair back for you. After the nausea passed, you straightened yourself and wiped your mouth before turning to look up at him. 

“Can you please pretend that didn’t just happen?” You groaned. 

He just gave you a pitying look that made your stomach churn again, and put a comforting hand on your back to hold you steady. 

“Seriously, are you alright?”

“I’ll be fine. I’m just a lightweight, like you said. My pride, however… may never recover. I should probably call it a night.”

“Okay, let me take you home.”

This was sweet, but the thought of getting in a car with him made you feel green again. Partly because you would be trapped in a small space with him and forced to talk, and partly because you knew how recklessly he drove.

“It’s okay. I don’t want you to abandon your friends. Plus, you’ve been drinking, too. I’ll just call somebody to come get me.”

He raised an eyebrow at you.

“Y/N… it’s really fine…”

“Eddie,” You interrupted him more harshly than you intended. “Seriously. I’m just going to call someone.”

You were just exhausted, pissed at yourself for looking like an idiot, and still slightly upset about Jo flirting with him. But you could tell by the wounded look on Eddie’s face that he had taken your chilly tone to heart. 

“Okay. If that’s what you want. Can I at least give you change for the payphone?”

You nodded and thanked him, then let him walk with you to the phone. He leaned up against the wall nearby with his arms crossed, trying his best to give you some distance and privacy. 

It was well past midnight at that point, and you honestly weren’t sure who to call. Your parents certainly weren’t an option, Joyce had enough to deal with already, Nancy didn’t have her own phone line so her parents would have most likely picked up, and Robin didn’t even have a driver’s license. That really only left you with one option. 

You dialed the number to Steve’s house, praying that his parents had left him home alone for another one of their weekend getaways. It took a while before anyone answered, but you breathed a sigh of relief when someone finally did and it was Steve’s impatient voice on the other end. 

“Hello?” 

“Steve? This is… Y/N.”

Eddie turned his head when he heard you say Steve’s name. 

“Y/N? What’s going on? Are you okay? It’s almost one in the morning.”

“I’m okay. I just… look, I’m really sorry to ask, but would you be able to pick me up at The Hideout?”

There was a brief pause. You snuck a peek at Eddie, who was still at attention.

“I’ll be there in ten,” Steve replied without any follow-up questions, then hung up before you could even say thank you. You placed the phone back on the hook and Eddie took a hesitant step towards you.

“Is he coming?”

You nodded, and he seemed disappointed by this.

“Can I wait with you until he gets here?”

“Of course. Thank you.”

You sat on the sidewalk together again in silence for what felt like forever. You tried to give his jacket back to him but he put up his hands to stop you.

“Keep it. You can bring it back to me when you pick up the boys next week.”

“Thanks,” You smiled meekly. The nights were finally beginning to get a crisp, autumnal bite to them, and you were grateful for the extra warmth. Plus, it smelled like him. 

“Are you feeling any better?” He asked.

“A little.”

“Good. That’s… good,” He said awkwardly, rubbing his palms over his pant legs nervously.

You wanted to say something to reassure him that the disaster the night had turned into wasn’t his fault, that you were just a wreck around him, but the words caught in your throat. Then he spoke up again before you could.

“Can I say something really quick before you go? You don’t even have to listen, but I think it has to be said.”

You nodded reluctantly, and he sucked in a breath.

“Look, I have no idea what’s been going on with you this past year and you don’t ever need to tell me. And I don’t wanna assume anything or project my own shit, so feel free to tell me to fuck off at any time, but whatever it is or was… I can tell it’s taken you a lot of strength to get through it. And I really don’t know why you don’t see that because it’s been very obvious to me, even from a distance. Maybe it’s just gonna take you some more time to figure things out. To get used to living with it, whatever it is. And you will, I know you will. I think you’re closer than you think you are. And maybe it feels like it right now, but it’s not going to hurt you forever. Because you are strong, and you are brave, and you’re never going to be able to convince me otherwise. You’re never going to be able to… make me not like you. Whatever happens. I think that after all this time, you should at least know that’s true.”

The longer he spoke, the quicker your breathing became as you fought to hold back tears. Even from the outside, even without knowing a single thing about the Upside Down or what you’d been through, it was like he could still see you. You’d never felt so understood in your entire life. It shocked the shit out of you, but now you realized that for once your gut instincts hadn’t mislead you. There was a reason why you were so drawn to Eddie all of these years. And the way he was looking at you… it was beginning to make your stomach churn for very different reasons. You stared at him, speechless, and he opened his mouth to speak again. 

“I also just want to say… I’m really sorry…”

Before he could finish, a pair of headlights diverted your attention. When Steve parked and got out of the car, slamming his door behind him, you and Eddie stood up in unison. 

“You ready to go?” He called out to you.

You turned to Eddie.

“Thank you, for saying all of that. I’m really sorry about tonight. I’ll see you next Friday, okay?”

He nodded and smiled as you walked away and Steve opened and closed the car door for you.

“Hey, man. Thanks for coming to get her. I’m sorry about this.” You heard Eddie say to Steve through the open window on the driver’s side of the car. 

Steve walked over to him and tried to speak quietly enough that you couldn’t hear, but you did.

“I don’t know what you did to her or why she needed me to come get her, but if you hurt her in any way, I swear to god, man, you better watch your back.”

You could tell Eddie was taken aback by this and wanted to defend himself, but all he did was cross his arms and say, “Understood.”

Steve backed away and got into the car, still glaring at Eddie. You stared at him in shock. Eddie just stood frozen as you drove away.

“Steve? What the fuck was that?”

“What?” He spat, his eyes still on the road.

“Was threatening him really necessary?!”

“I don’t know, you tell me. What did that asshole do to you?”

“Do to me? Steve, he didn’t do anything! I just drank too much and got sick. I was embarrassed!”

“You what?” He stared at you, completely surprised by this. “This is so not like you, Y/N,” He muttered. “What is going on with you?”

You glared at him, mouth gaping open.

“Oh my god. Now you care about what’s going on with me. Wow, thanks for that.”

“What are you talking about?! You’re the one who completely shut me out and then called me in the middle of the night to come pick you up!”

You knew he was right, but you couldn’t stand to admit it. You were too nauseous and exhausted to fight. You squeezed your eyes shut and pinched the bridge of your nose in an attempt to stop yourself from exploding, but you couldn’t take it anymore. 

“Alright, you know what, fuck this. Pull over,” You demanded.

“Excuse me?”

“PULL OVER,” You bellowed, loud enough that it made Steve jump.

“Jesus, alright!” He yelled back.

The car barely stopped before you opened the door and got out, slamming it behind you.

“Hey!” Steve called after you as you stomped down the road. “What the hell are you doing?!”

He got out and chased after you, putting a hand on your shoulder to stop you. You spun around and smacked it away.

“I’m sorry, Steve!” You began to scream, and he immediately drew back in shock. “I’m so sorry that I was so fucking humiliated by the fact that I nearly vomited on Eddie Munson’s shoes that I would have rather sat in a car with my friend that I made out with and haven’t spoken to since because I was absolutely mortified. The choices weren’t great, but I did my absolute best with what I had, and maybe it wasn’t the correct one but fuck me if I wasn’t gonna sit there and make myself look like an asshole for one more minute. Because he wasn’t the one who ruined the night, Steve. He didn’t do anything. He was perfect. I was a fucking mess, and my brain ruined everything the way it always does. The way it ruined our friendship, and blew up all of my plans, and possessed me to get drunk tonight, and keeps telling me to push Eddie as far away as possible. You wanna know what’s going on with me, Steve? Well, so do I! Because I certainly didn’t plan for any of this! So, I hope you’ll forgive me for losing my fucking mind, because clearly I’m not equipped to deal with any of it. We did just watch somebody die by mind flayer this summer, after all. Or have you forgotten already? Because I definitely haven’t! And the best part about it is, I can’t tell anybody about it, especially Eddie. So, yeah. Fuck me I guess. I’ll just slowly rot from the inside out trying to hold all of this in. No problem. I’m cool.”

You finally stopped your rant, panting, as Steve stared back at you in stunned silence. Then you abruptly plopped yourself into the grass and curled up your legs, hiding your head in your arms. After a minute or so, you heard the crunch of Steve’s sneakers coming toward you, and felt him sit down beside you. He didn’t say anything. He just waited. You turned your head away from him, still resting it on top of your knees, and began to cry quietly. 

“How do you even know this isn’t who I am, Steve?” You sniffled. “How could you know? I don’t even know anymore. I thought that figuring out all this shit about Hawkins and the Upside Down would put things into perspective, you know? Give me some kind of bullshit purpose. Make everything else seem smaller. But then Billy died and what happened between us happened and now everything is…too much. Too loud. And I’m so…I’m so lost. What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life now? How am I supposed to just go on pretending like none of it happened? How do you do it? I feel like I’m losing my goddamn mind.”

You continued to cry quietly, and eventually felt Steve put a hand on your shoulder. Then he stood up, and you looked up at him through your tears to see him holding out his hand. You just stared up at him, confused. 

“Come on. Just let me take you home.”

You thought about walking the rest of the way instead, but after realizing you definitely weren’t in a good state of mind to do that, you reluctantly took his hand and let him pull you off of the ground. You watched him as he opened the passenger-side door and waited for you to get in, then walked over slowly and got in, eyeing him suspiciously the whole time. 

You didn’t speak the entire way to your house. It wasn’t until you began unbuckling your seatbelt to get out of his car that he felt compelled to turn and talk to you.

“Y/N, you’re not the only one freaking out, okay? I need you to know that. We’ve just all gotten really good at hiding it.”

You stared back at him for a moment, trying and failing to read him, then shook your head wearily.

“And that’s exactly the problem,” You said with a definitive shrug as you reached for the door handle. “Good night, Steve. Thanks for the ride.”

You were so sick of pushing everything down. You tried to do it, but obviously it wasn’t something you could handle anymore. That was very clear from your humiliating outburst, which Steve had barely even bothered to react to. 

How did he keep everything so tightly wound inside himself? He was so completely shut down that it stressed you out to be anywhere near him. It was actually kind of terrifying. 

Maybe it was your fault. Maybe what happened between the two of you had permanently put an end to the closeness you once shared. But you couldn’t take any of it back, so there was nothing else you could do or say. Maybe the only thing to do now was move on. 

You walked to your front door and shut it quickly behind you, this time stopping yourself from acting on the urge to turn around and watch Steve as he drove away. 

#eddie munson #stranger things #stranger things reader insert #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfiction #eddie munson x fem!reader #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson imagine #eddie munson fanfiction #eddie munson reader insert #joseph quinn #joseph quinn fanfiction #joseph quinn reader insert #joseph quinn x fem!reader #joseph quinn x y/n #steve harrington #steve harrington x fem!reader #steve harrington fanfiction #steve harrington reader insert #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington x y/n #st4 #st3 #joe keery #joe keery x fem!reader #joe keery x y/n #joe keery reader insert #joe keery fanfic #joe keery imagine #eddie munson fluff

[chicken2potato]

9/29/23

Don't get me wrong, I love Mk. I really do. But sometimes man... she just kind of makes me hate myself a little.

The day that I applied, I had gone over to her apartment that night. I was so excited. I always knew that after leaving CBC that I would want to go back some day. I don't want to be stagnant and stay at Sam's Club for the rest of my life. I want to grow and help people. I was so excited. After I applied, Bailey and Hana cheered with me and gave me high fives. Even baby James gave me a high five and then the cutest fist bump ever. They were happy for me and excited along with me.

But not mk...

I sat down on her couch and excitedly asked her to guess what I did. She asked what? I said "I applied to college!!". She just snickered and said "With what money?"....

Ow...

Instead of being happy. Instead of being proud of me. Instead of being a good friend. She was a pessimist. She was already being a downer and not believing in me. That really hurt...

So many people don't understand the fucking strength and balls it took to get away from CBC. I was in a fucking cult. I was brainwashed. Like I literally ruined so many fucking relationships for that religion because I really thought I was doing what I was supposed to. Both in high school and in college. I have some relationships that will never be the same because of my position in the church.

So I was fucking emotionally exhausted, more than ever, once I left. I knew in the back of my mind that one day I would go back to college and get better and do better. I just needed time to figure out what I believed and to rest from being so burnt out.

And now I feel like is time. I've had over a year or so to live and do and breath how I want. I don't feel exhausted nearly as much and I finally have a ferver back to do more.

And she just said "with what money?". Like... girl there's grants and scholarships and FAFSA... why is that your first fucking thought? Why would you say that? Why not "oh my god, I'm proud of you", or "awesome, when are you starting", or "oh that's awesome, I'm sure you'll do great"???

And she does this all the time with any big life thing that happens to me.

Last year, when John and I were talking, we had been talking for almost three months when she mentioned her Halloween party. I had talked to him for a bit now and things were kind of looking like they were going into a relationship. I had asked her if I could invite him to the party. I wanted my friends to meet the guy that I had really liked and really wanted them to get along and such. And she said, "I mean, I guess, if you guys are still together by then."

Like, girl what???

I'm not the type of person to just jump from fucking guy to guy. Before John, my last boyfriend was FIVE YEARS before that. Like what do you mean?? She said some other things too that made it seem like I'd be onto a new guy next month. Like girl??? I don't give my fucking heart out like that. Five years!! Since I've even told a guy that I've liked him. And you're making it sound like I'm a fucking pussy play or something.

Even after John, there was Rowan, and then Nate. And I don't really count Rowan. Not because I didn't like him this time around or any dumb shit like that. But because I had loved him still, ever since high school. To me, that wasn't new. But Nate was. So in the last 6 years, I've liked two other guys. And I've only had two boyfriends. And even with girls, there's been a few flirty flings here and there but like... I'm not a hoe??

She just makes me feel like she thinks I'm ruining my life all the time. And it makes me sad. When things ended with Rowan this last time, she really made me feel like shit...

When Row and I started talking at the beginning of this year, I just knew something was going to happen and a part of me knew that if we had dated, it probably wouldn't last long. And after he broke up with me in May, I knew I didn't want to tell Mk.. she would have made me feel like shit..

When we got back together later on, I knew it was going to be longer, but I still didn't feel like he was going to stay that long. That night, after the letter, when I went over to his place, I knew we weren't going to last. I can't tell you how I knew, I just did... so, the next morning when I woke up before him, I decided to myself, that no matter what, no matter how long the relationship was going to last or not last, no matter what was going to happen, I wasn't going to enter into this with a naive heart. I wasn't going to enter into it thinking we were going to last forever. I wanted us to. I really loved him. But sitting there and looking at him, knowing him, knowing how he had left before, I knew it was only a matter of time before he left again. But I told myself during this time together I was going to love him and cherish him and be everything I possibly could for him while I had the chance.

A week or so after he broke up with me, I was sitting in the car with Mk talking about Dy and her new man and stuff and how she's just kinda making bad decisions. Mk said "You know I hate to say it, but I'm getting tired of saying 'i told you so' to everyone. To Dy, and James, and Will, and I hate to say it, but to you, too." I told her to hold the fuck up. She was trying to fucking say that she "told me so" with the whole Rowan situation. Bitch????? I didn't even tell you we were dating until like TWO WEEKS after we started. Girl.. and like I said earlier, I wasn't going into this thinking it was going to be all sunshine and rainbows. I knew eventually he would leave again, but I was going to enjoy it while it lasted. I told her like you can not tell me you told me so because I knew from the beginning and I didn't go into it thinking he was going to be changed. I was so fucking pissed.

Why does she act so fucking entitled and indignant? Why does she think she's better at making decisions about my life than I am?? It's just so infuriating how she treats me like a fucking child sometimes. Like she doesn't even know me. I have so much I want to accomplish and do. And going to college is the first thing. I have so many aspirations and it's like whenever I tell her them she just shoots me down with doubts and what ifs and koda you can't do that. Fuck her, man. Fuck. That's so mean to do to your best friend.

There is so much I want to do. I want to go to college. I want to go into the Air Force. I want to do the Peace Corps. I want to impact others and live a meaningful life.

I want to mean something to others, too...

Nate.

I thought he was so awesome...

It's kinda ironic. The night before things happened with us, I told him about how my ex left me so many times for other girls and how it impacted me because I truly thought I was going to marry him. And Nate was like "oh, you don't deserve that you're amazing" blah blah blah. And then dude fucking went and left me for his fucking ex. Foreshadowing much?

He had told me he wasn't ready for a relationship and then like four days later his ex girlfriend posted a picture of them together on his Snapchat..... after he had told me he couldn't go see her. After he had told me he was done with her. After he had told me he wasn't ready for a relationship. And then fucking told me he was talking to her again and trying to work things out.. Only to come over the next day to help me with my Xbox and proceed to fucking make out with me and put his hands down my spandex. Like bro??? I was so dumbfounded when he kissed me. Like didn't you just tell me you were trying to fix things with your ex???

AND THEN

This boy starts putting waters in the fridge at work for me.. AS IF THATLL HELP

Like sir. Wake the fuck up. You fucked me over. You lied to me. You think putting waters in a fridge a couple times a week is going to just like smooth it over?? And then he told Meghan that he liked me as a friend. Funny cuz just a week before he was making out with me and idk about other people but I don't go making out with my fucking friends???

I'm just so tired. Literally every person I've ever loved or liked has left. Even family.

Mom. Dad. Ryan. Rowan. Jacob. Nate. John. Abby. Luc.

It just hurts, man. Like, I'm trying so hard to be enough. I'm trying so hard to be the good person and loving and shit. I'd give my all to anyone and I have done my best to do just that... only for them to break everything off in a single conversation... why am I so disposable? Why am I so easy to forget? I try to be the happiness they need. I try to be the thing that keeps them going. I try to be the good daughter. I try to be the good sister. In the end, it amounts to nothing. I'll never be good enough. Perhaps thats why Mk always says those things. Maybe she knows I won't be any good at college again. Maybe she knows I'm no good for anyone. I want to be. I want to go home at night, to the person I love, and be held in their arms, and feel perfectly safe and loved.

I've been drowning myself in books. Trying to escape, because I know if I sit with my own thoughts, it won't be good. I keep thinking about Rowan. And I'm trying so fucking hard not to. I truly can't seem to get him out of my fucking mind. I wish that I could just go over there, give him a hug, and we'd never let go. I miss him. So fucking much and I don't know how to make it stop. I don't know how to move on. And I get this makes me sound pathetic and stupid to be so caught up in someone who hurt me so much. But hes the only person who I've ever felt loved by. Truly. Especially in high school. When I lived with him, I've never felt that before or since. I don't know if that loves still there. I miss it. I miss him. The old him. The old us, before all this fucking complicated history shit happened. Back when he was my besterest friend. Back with I could trust him with anything. Back when we confided in each other bout the deepest parts of ourselves. I miss someone loving me, seeing me, knowing me. I miss being open and honest to someone like that. I miss the love. I miss the friendship. I miss his fucking laugh so much. 😭😭

I know I wrote him saying fuck him and fuck this and fuck that.. I know.. I was so fucking mad.. it was like the millionth time he had done that to me and I was so angry and hurt and I wanted to make him hurt, too. I shouldn't have done it. I should have let some days go by so we could cool off and potentially talk about it or something. I don't know. I worry about him. I've had a bad feeling about him this past month or so.. I've looked at his Tumblr before and didn't see anything.. but each time I go to look, I'm scared at what I might see? I haven't looked in awhile.. I just want him to be okay. I wish he could find happiness. I miss him and I hope he's doing well.. maybe I am pathetic and stupid for saying this... I can't help it.. he was my everything at some point or another.. I can't just make that go away..

I need to go to bed.. I need these thoughts to stop. It's like they're encircling me. That's why I read. I can escape. I can pretend that I'm not actually one bad day away from doing nothing for forever. Books are my solitude.

[avocado-frog]

OC incorrect quotes part whatever

Logan: We’re playing Scrabble. It’s a nightmare. Marcy: Scrabble? Scrabble’s great. Logan: Not when you’re playing with Leo, it’s not. She puts words like “ephemeral” and I put “dog.”

---

Jaxon: Wasn't icarly that guy that girlbossed too close to the sun because he was down for Apollo? Lily: ICARUS?

---

Elliot: What’s up? I’m back. Logan: I literally saw you die. You died. You were dead Elliot: Death is a social construct.

---

Leo: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game... Jaxon, nodding: Knife Monopoly. Leo: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

---

Leo: Happy October 32nd! Second Halloween! Cass: That doesn't exist. Leo: Not with that attitude.

---

Logan: Do you guys ever have a civilized conversation that doesn't require insulting each other every time you get a chance? Leo: No. Jaxon: No. Logan: Didn't think so.

---

*after the group has been separated for a few years* Cass: So what have you been up to recently? Logan: Leading a revolution with Leo. Cass: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob. Logan: Oh, how cool! That's awesome! Cass: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Lily? Dylan: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Ryan? Cass: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break him out later. Jaxon? Dylan: Cult leader. Cass: Yeah, that sounds about right.

---

Leo: How many children do you have? Logan: Biologically, legally, or emotionally?

---

Cass: Goddamn it, the printer broke while printing out Leo's birthday invitations. Logan: Well, what are they supposed to say? Cass: "Leo's birthday". Logan: So, what do they say instead? Cass: "Leo’s bi". Logan: Logan: Works out either way.

---

Dylan: I scare people a lot because I walk very softly and they don't hear me enter rooms. So when they turn around, I'm just kind of there and their fear fuels me.

---

Dylan: Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire. Leo: But what if something else happens just this one time.

---

Ryan: Jaxon and I were crossing the street, and this man drove by and honked at us. Lily: What did you do? Ryan: They chased him to the next red light, and reached into his window, and- Jaxon: *walking in* Who wants a steering wheel?

---

Dylan: Everyone thinks I'm this soft cute person but I'm not! Cass: Dylan, you cried for an hour after stepping on a bug yesterday. Dylan: It had feelings! It was probably going home to dinner and I killed it! Marcy: ...It was a bug. Dylan: It was a BEETLE, and its wife is definitely worried sick, wondering where it is, and I really don't get why you all think I'm so sentimental because I'm not! Cass: ... Marcy: ... Dylan: Stop looking at me like that!

---

Logan: Coca Cola can remove rust from metal, imagine what it’s doing to your body. Jaxon: Pfff, getting rid of the rust, idiot. Logan: THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! Leo: Hmm... I've been drinking soda and my body's rust free... not sure where you're getting your facts from...

---

Leo: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute. Logan: No, that's not how you make cookies. Jaxon: FLOOR IT!! Lily: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!? Logan: YOU'RE GONNA BURN THE HOUSE DOWN- Leo: I'M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES! Jaxon: DO IT! Logan: NO-

---

incorrect quote generator I used in case you want it

#incorrect quotes #procrastination o'clock #original characters

[amplesalty]

Halloween 2022 - Day 19 - Night of the Demons (1988)

If The Greasy Strangler taught me not to be enticed by awesome titles, this one should do the same for cool posters...

There’s only one prior instance whilst doing this Halloween thing where I can recall watching  a movie based on the cover alone, The Devil Inside. This is undocumented on here as it was way back in 2015 when fell off after watching the 2014 Godzilla and being so bored to tears by it that it made me reluctant to even write anything about it. But then missing that one made me not want to move on to the next movie which caused a whole chain reaction and meant I just gave up on that year.

The Devil Inside left precisely zero impression on me to the degree that I had to search to try and find what it was. Luckily Googling ‘horror movie nun’ has it come up fairly quickly but the only real lasting memory I have of it that it wasn’t good. And that rings true of today’s movie as well which I’ve always had in mind to watch because there’s something so eye catching about that poster. Just the absolutely intense look on that monsters face but also how ‘loud’ in general it is, it really stands out.  I don’t think I’ve ever really stopped to read the tagline on it before which is pretty ballsy to call out two horror movie icons in Jason and Freddy and claim they’re too scared of this movie.

That little story about Godzilla is apt as well because I’ve been putting off talking about this because there’s really not a whole lot I can say about it. Gee, a bunch of kids go to a secluded place to party and have sex but get terrorised by someone and slowly picked off one by one, haven’t heard that one before.

Everything is just so cliché and pretty much everyone is an arsehole so you don’t really care one way or the other if they do get killed. In fact the lead girl is pretty annoying given that she spends most of the movie just running around screaming and then near the end where she’s trapped with someone else, she has this weird speech that seems to be recapping a bunch of information in this weird way. “Remember what she said, this is Halloween right? All those monsters can’t go to hell tonight, right? Because it’s the one night of the year they get to roam free, right? Well maybe we’ll be safe in the morning, right? We can just hide in here tonight and they’ll die in the morning, right?”

Apparently this is seen as a cult classic but I’m not feeling it personally. It feels like it never goes truly overboard into being comedy horror that it would have that cheesiness to it, it’s very much towing the line on the border of comedy horror but still has two feet within plain horror. Had some sequels and a remake too but I can’t say I’ll be watching them anytime soon. This same director, Kevin S. Tenney did do Pinocchio’s Revenge in 1996 which I feel like I’ve seen the art for before and I’ve clearly not learned my lesson because that I one I do kinda wanna see. It sounds like it’s very derivative of Child’s Play but it leans into that ‘maybe the kid is crazy’ thing so that sounds up my street.

Of all the arseholes in this movie though, they should have focused on the grumpy old man that bookends the story. It doesn’t feel out of place for an anthology horror movie, just flesh it out a little bit and you’ve got a segment there. He starts out being hassled by these kids at the start so picks up some apples and razor blades with some evil intentions in mind.

But well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of my actions, at the end of the movie his wife decides to make apple pie out of all these apples they seem to have laying around which promptly shreds his throat into ribbons.

Actually, that would be the one thing that would get me to watch the sequel; what’s her deal? She just walks over, softly kisses his dead body on the head and wishes him a Happy Halloween before taking a sip of coffee. She doesn’t seem alarmed in the slightest so did she know what she was up to? Is she just senile? Has the possession somehow escaped the spooky house with the kids and infected her?

#Halloween 2022 #Night of the Demons

[firemanwhenthefloodsrollback]

Who Saved The Day? Season Two

time for instalment 2 of my eight part series Who saved the day? where I will be counting up who saves the day in each buffy episode. we all know who's gonna come in first but I am genuinely unsure who'll place after that in the final leaderboard.

at the end of season 1 the totals were:

Buffy: 10

Angel: 1

Sid: 1

season two is longer, more complex and more emotional than season 1 though I don't think anyone is coming for Buffy's top spot. while I don't think anyone is likely to argue with me about my calls for season 1, season 2 might get more controversial. let's see!

1. When She Was Bad: Buffy

A strong argument could be made for Buffy causing all of the problems in this episode, but she also solves them, and no one else arrives with a sledgehammer to kill the master's minions and grind his bones, so she gets the point.

2. Some Assembly Required: Chris

Another supporting character getting a point, which I'm finding quite exciting whenever it happens. Chris stops Daryl killing Buffy, and Daryl follows up by destroying himself for her.

3. School Hard: Buffy

I would love, love, love, love to the moon and back to give the point to Spike for killing the anointed one. I would love it more than you will ever understand but alas I have rules to follow. Buffy for saving Joyce and the other parents at the school I suppose.

4. Inca Mummy Girl: Buffy

A big part of me wanted to give the point to Xander, because I feel like Ampata getting so weak she turned back into a mummy only really happened because she hesitated over killing Xander and he put himself in her way knowing that was what could happen, but Buffy actually fought her, so I can't give Xander the point.

5. Reptile Boy: Buffy

Nice and straightforward. Awesome work killing the frat lizard.

6. Halloween: Giles

Yes Buffy fights Spike and wins the fight there but the real issue in the episode was the curse on the town and Giles solves that in an immensely stylish way. Giles' first point!

7. Lie To Me: Buffy

Holding my darling Drusilla hostage and letting the cult weirdos get away.

8. The Dark Age: Angel

Another point for Angel. Letting Eyghon into his body so that the two demons could fight was an unexpected and clever ending to a dark and excellent episode.

9. What's My Line 1: Giles (?)

The day is literally not saved here. This episode makes me regret my commitment to needing to pick someone for each episode because it... just doesn't work here. I'm giving it to Giles for working out what was going on? I suppose? I thought about giving it to Buffy for fighting Kendra but she didn't save or win anything so I didn't think it counted. Idk. Comment or message to change my mind and I'm fully ready to change it.

10. What's My Line 2: Buffy

I'd have preferred to give Kendra the point because I think my gorgeous, wonderful, underserved by the plot girl deserves one, but Buffy gets Angel out so it's got to be her.

11. Ted: Buffy

You go girl, end that dodgy episode by whacking the monster with a saucepan.

12. Bad Eggs: Buffy

Using a pick axe to hack the mother creature to death from the inside out: ingenious and also icky.

13. Surprise: Buffy (?)

Man I don't know. She gets the arm in the box and escapes the vampires at the dock and... no one else gets the point. This just wasn't a day-saving episode.

14. Innocence: Buffy

Nothing ever has or ever will make me feel as happy as Buffy kicking Angel in the balls here. Never.

15. Phases: Willow

First point for my heart's darling! Shooting wolf Oz with the tranquilliser gun is a big victory for my brave girl. Buffy bends the werewolf hunter's gun and sends him packing, but Willow saves everyone from the wolf demon and earns the point.

16. Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered: Giles

Giles and Amy both lift the spell, but it was Giles' idea, he had to force Amy to take part and only one person can have the point.

17. Passion: Buffy

I spent a good twenty seconds staring into the space above my laptop feeling my pain when I remembered this episode. I go to a world of pain when I think about Passion, Willow's crying and Buffy's face through the window at the end. Buffy rescues Giles from being tortured but it's a hollow point for this one.

18. Killed By Death: Buffy

A straightforward monster-killing of a straightforward monster of the week.

19. I Only Have Eyes For You: Angel

Angel breaks the cycle and makes the speech that Grace needed to hear. Everyone learns a lesson about forgiveness and is saved from demonic ghost bees (I interpreted the buzzing cloud as ghost bees?).

20. Go Fish: Xander

Xander's first point! I wasn't really sure here as Xander and Buffy fight the coach together, but Xander knocks him on the head when stuff isn't looking good for Buffy so I think he gets a point for that.

21. Becoming 1: Kendra

Feels a bit ghoulish giving Kendra her only point in the episode where she dies, but there wasn't a lot of competition in this episode where everything that can go wrong does go wrong and she does arrive with new knowledge and a magic sword.

22. Becoming 2: Buffy

I would have loved to give Willow the point because she was awe-inspiring doing magic from the hospital bed in this episode. But Buffy closes the portal to the hell dimension and I can't argue with that.

Totals

So at the end of season 2 the cumulative totals stand at

Buffy: 23

Angel: 3

Giles: 3

Chris: 1

Kendra: 1

Sid: 1

Willow: 1

Xander: 1

All the scoobies and angel have at least one point now, and we have a few more for non-regulars as well. I'm imagining that as the seasons go on we'll get more points for characters who aren't Buffy but I imagine she'll end up with more than a hundred episodes by the end, unless something very major that I've forgotten about changes.

We had a few 'no one really won here' episodes which I think we'll get more of with time, and a few 'dramatic speech' savings of the day which I think will increase with time too.

in season 3 I anticipate things only getting more complex and weirder. I'm excited to get there soon!

Read the rest of the series: my intro post, Season 1, Season 3, Season 4, Season 5, Season 6, Season 7

#who saved the day series #buffy #btvs #buffy the vampire slayer #buffy meta #season two

[lambychop]

Ultimate Horror Flick List

I know this isn’t usually my style, but 🎵it’s the most wonderful time of the year🎵

That’s right: it’s the spoopy month! Which means SPOOPY MOVIES

So I present to you:

IRONICENIGMA’S ULTIMATE HORROR FLICK LIST FOR ALL TYPES OF FILM LOVERS

1) For the Gore Hounds

•Saw series- the classic films for the guys who just wanna see some people get ripped to shreads (honestly, after the second one, they go downhill)

•Jigsaw- the more recent edition to the Saw series (this ones actually pretty good and FULL of gore)

•Hostel- Saw Studies Abroad (TM)

•Final Destination series- kinda a dumb one. The movies can be kinda dumb, but the kills are INSANE. Fun movies to watch with the gang

•Texas Chainsaw Massacre- you know it, you love it, I don’t gotta explain it

•Cannibal Holocaust- seriously messed up. Banned in multiple countries. It’s something special.

•The Midnight Meat Train- lesser known, kinda weird, super bloody

•Cabin Fever- gross disease makes you loose your skin. Nasty

•Wrong Turn- basically The Hills Have Eyes but with funner kills

2) The Classic Slashers

•Scream series- one of my faves. Classic story of small town teens with a killer on the loose. Lots of fun

•Friday the Thirteenth- do I have to tell you why this is here?

•Nightmare on Elm Street- Johnny Depp getting turned into a volcano of blood? I’m in.

•Halloween- can’t have Halloween without the movie that took the name, right?

•My Bloody Valentine (the original one)- one of my all time favorite movies. Creepy killer, great group of characters, great time

•Sleepaway Camp- infamous for its batshit ending. Kinda weird ngl, but a classic

•The Town That Dreaded Sundown- Based on a real killer. Oldie, but goodie

•Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon- different take on the slasher genre. Fun look into the life of a movie slasher

•You’re Next- badass female lead? Check. Masked murderers? Check. Family bonding? Uh sure okay

•I Know What You Did Last Summer- secrets are bad. Roll credits

3) Supernatural (demons, ghosts, etc)

•The Conjuring- it’s pretty popular, you know it

•Insidious- also popular. Moral: your body is a ghost hotel

•Sinister- classic demon: likes kids, likes brutal deaths, likes to appear in the background of pictures

•The Exorcist- obviously

•Lights Out- ghosts are scared of light, that’s all you need to know

•The Sixth Sense- not really scary. Actually pretty wholesome. In an “I see dead people” kinda way

•The Rite- priest Anthony Hopkins coughs up nails

•The Omen- aka don’t trust kids

•1408- haunted hotel room. Someone call the ghoul bois

•The Amityville Horror- based on true events. Well at least we know the murders were real and the house is creepy

•The Skeleton Key- Old People+Voodoo= bad time

•Haunting In Connecticut- also a “true” story. Don’t buy a house that used to be a morgue

•The Autopsy Of Jane Doe- boy bonds with dad over dead teenage girl

•Mama- moths are gross, ghosts are worse. Dead Mom from Beetlejuice, but now a movie

•Rosemary’s Baby- dont trust thy neighbor

•The Shinning- classic. That’s all I’ve got to say

•The Orphanage- again: creepy kids

•Stir Of Echos- Kevin Bacon sees ghosts. Must I say more?

•The Others- haunted house story with a twist ending

4) Creature Features

•Trick ‘r Treat- classic Halloween film. Fun, creepy, iconic

•The Ritual- camping trip turns bad. Monster looks really cool

•A Quiet Place- you’ve probably seen it. Jim from the office speaks sign language

•The Babadook- children’s storybook is not kid friendly

•Backcountry- bears are dangerous

•Alien- you’ve seen this already but it needs to be here

•The Descent- dont watch if your claustrophobic

•An American Werewolf In London- also a fave. Best werewolf movie ever made

•The Monster- lesser know, actually pretty good

•The Thing- classic. Super good. Based on a short story. No one can be trusted because you don’t know if they’re even them

5) Horror Comedies

•Zombieland- hysterical. Bloody. Great cast

•Cabin In The Woods- this movie is insane. Combine every horror monster ever, the Illuminati, and the Office- that’s this movie

•Shaun of the Dead- the classic horror comedy

•Scary Movie series- less horror, ridiculous comedy

•This Is The End- again, like no horror, but one of the funniest films ever

6)Found Footage (not a great genre, but some can be pretty entertaining)

•The Blair Witch Project- basically the king of the found footage films. You’ve seen it

•The Conspiracy- the Illuminati is real and they don’t like to be filmed

•Paranormal Activity series- kinda annoying to horror fans. Relies on jump scares and the characters are idiots. But if I’m doing a section on foud footage, this has to be here

•Creep- okay this movie actually really disturbed me. People are absolutely insane. Don’t meet up with people from Craigslist

•V/H/S series- basically a anthology of short horror films. Kinda fun

•Apollo 18- the government faked the moon landing because they found some crazy shit

•The Sacrament- Jonestown caught on camera

•As Above So Below- Paris Catacombs are wack

•Grave Encounters- what if Ghost Adventures actually found ghosts

•Unfriended Dark Web- lets be honest: the first one sucked. Second one is actually not bad. Take away the ghosts, add the black market

•The Poughkeepsie Tapes- lesser know, can be hard to find. Really disturbing. Basically watching a serial killer tape his crimes

•Cold Ground- Set up to look just like it’s out of the seventies. It’s pretty fun

•The Last Exorcism- priests are liers

•Quarantine- English version of [REC]. I wouldn’t say it’s great, but it’s something

•Hell House LLC.- kids set up a haunted house. People die

•The Houses October Built- again with the haunted houses. Don’t trust em

•The Bay- Cabin Fever but found footage-y

•Willow Creek- y’all gotta leave Bigfoot alone

•Lake Mungo- girl drowns, family sees her ghost. No jump scares with this one, like most found footage. Mostly just a family in mourning

•The Tunnel- if the government says to stay out, STAY OUT

•The Taking Of Deborah Logan- alzheimers itself is awful to go through, but let’s add some more spooks

•The Possession Of Michael King- another possession film? Yep they just keep comin

•The Last Broadcast- suspicious murder of tv hosts

6) Family Fun

•Hocus Pocus- okay obviously

•Beetlejuice- dark humor in a “kids” film. Most of the comedy caters to adults, but it’s an awesome film

•Corpse Bride- guy accidentally marries dead girl. Wholesome family fun

•The Nightmare Before Christmas- my fave Disney film. Super cute

•Frankenweenie- dead dog=goodest boy

•Paranorman- sixth sense but now for kids+zombies

•Coraline- Might scar some small children, but I loved it when it came out when I was 8

7) Psychological

•Midsommar- happy cult family holds a festival

•Funny Games- home invasion movie done well. No cheap thrills, just some sadistic shit

•The Strangers- dont answer the door for people wearing masks when it’s not Halloween are you crazy

•The Perfection- artistic, bloody, absolute mind fuck

•Gerald’s Game- sexy time turns not good

•Unsane- imagine being stalked and no one believes you. That’s the premise

•Triangle- ummmmmmmm wtf is happening what time is it??

•It Comes At Night- trust is bad. Paranoia is good.

•The Silence of the Lambs- my personal favorite film. Serial killer helps rookie detective find another serial killer

•Jacob’s Ladder- Vietnam vet struggles with EXTREMELY terrifying visions

AND THERE YOU GO. I have seen plenty more, so if you don’t see one you’d like on this list, hit me up with what kinda movie you’re lookin for and I’ll hook you up amigo

#halloween #horror #movies #movie recommendation #horror movies

[aboleth-eye]

what are your thoughts on aberrations? personally i love them IF they're in a proper setting. for example, the far realm is little by little 'leaking' in a way into a nearby settlement. things wilt and morph. voices are heard, and the usual stuff. i find the concept interesting and fun when done properly! like a sort of strange thing to freshen up a predictable world, in a way. random chaos can be a nice spice of life

Aberrations are one of my favorite monster types!  One of my favorite D&D books, that subsequently inspired the majority of my longest running campaign, is Lords of Madness.  The idea that the Far Realm exists within the planes of Dungeons & Dragons is truly a horrific thought, especially since there is no way to retain your sanity if you’re foolish enough to go there.

There are aberrations for every niche and need for a Dungeon Master:

Want some arcane experiments of some forgotten mage tower set on the loose?  Go with Gibbering Mouthers to really spice up the encounter!  

Want a mastermind behind an organ trafficking and kidnapping black market?  Mind Flayers are the classic way to go.  However, you could also easily make the operation a mercantile Neogi outpost in disguise.  

Need a big bad dungeon lord who rules a treasure-filled labyrinth?  Why not go with the Beholder or a Grell?  Pepper in some Grick and Cildabrin to foreshadow their abhorrent masters.

Want a shadowy menace in the urban jungle?  Try the Choker, or my favorite the Vivisector?  

How about a UFO sighting that results in an eldritch invasion?  The Kaorti and their monsters are an excellent hook.

The Deep is also a great way to pepper in these creatures?  No aquatic horror setting is complete without the Chuul, Skum or even the swamp-loving Ahuizotl and Catoblepas!

And what about those cults?  Cults can easily be built around powerful aberrations like Aboleths, Illithid Elder Brains, or even the serpentine Naga!  Some gods like Lolth even create their own aberrations to serve them--such as Lolth’s failed servants, the Driders.

Aberrations are awesome, and the Far Realm as a place where the abhorrent just “happens” is terrifying in of itself.  The plane even infects the Material Plane, resulting in Pseudonatural creatures and the maddened Alienists they serve (the mages themselves lost to siren song of planar madness).  Even the monsters of the Far Realm--what would be mere beasts on our plane--have invaded, with the hordes of the Illithidae.

As you can tell, I’m a big D&D 3.5 person--where I think the lore was really solid.  I’m not too familiar with any other edition’s versions of the Far Realm, or the attitudes each has towards Aberrations.  But I love my squishy, eldritch children!

Thanks so much for the ask!!  Everyone is welcome to submit questions at any time, and Fridays are where I’ll take a ton of requests!  

Happy Halloween by the way!

-- Aboleth-Eye 10/25/19

#aboleth eye #aberration #d&d resources #d&d ask #dm resources #tabletop games #tabletop resources #d&d monsters #dungeon master

[fireflythecinnamonjollyrancher]

it’s time for ~a year in review~

JANUARY

ya bitch went to paris and became like good, like REALLY good friends with my current roommates!!! we got to see some really beautiful sights, do some STRANGE things like watch a french indie movie and get fucked up at a french gay party club in the basement of our hostel. i apparently shaved my head again (per the use lets be real)

FEBRUARY

accidentally started my Com capstone like a total moron but took it like a mf champ. got to party at a friends place and watch all of “dont hug me im scared”. made a friend try a grap for the first time (he was a sophomore in college). studied a lot with kelli -- and by studying i mean we mostly bullied each other. WENT TO SEE WATSKY with a super dope friend (sad we fell out of touch but she’s living her best life and im happy for her). also like got to meet george watsky uhm WHAT wild. bullied my college in the snow and also manically shoveled the walk. was a bootlicker for the college and dressed in a taco suit

MARCH

WOOF i got pretty fucked up for capstones cast party and this is where the beginning of the end was for some of my friendships. however, other friendships were being built so im grateful for that. ran lights for a really awesome slam poet. FOUND THE KEY THAT WAS MISSING FROM THE THEATRE (turns out it was Sab whoops). spent a lot of time with someone who is no longer a friend -- her choice, certainly not mine. went home for spring break and took so many pictures of my cat. got selected as stage manager for comedy of errors which was a nightmare of a production but certainly not the worst.

APRIL

became a vegetarian!!!! joined/started the flat earth cult because of comedy. helped randi film her weird videos, which was so much fun! the bat came back to the theatre and Basil and I both saw them. comedy of errors opened and it was intense and i really hated every second. ranted about being in a scene for directing, which means i’d been in it for a second. that shit sucked bros oh my god????? he was never on time, he was so disorganized and didn’t understand his own character. organized a dinner for the cast because they had missed a campus dinner for the show. celebrated my best friends birthday!!!! “I can read!” was on the news with two others for comedy. also presented my capstone research for academic showcase day (i still can’t believe people listened to me rant about birth order)

MAY

more videos! this one was zak bagel bites with again my best friends. was elected president for APO and i couldn’t be more grateful. did a research proposal with a friend and i cannot BELIEVE we’re still friends after it because we really could have killed each other. physically fought the MONSTER that is jess (didn’t actually, really should have). helped two friends fall in love on accident/purpose. was elected as KPY president (damn) and forcibly elected as parliamentarian for LPH. ended my junior year. started work immediately after going home for my dad. mostly answered phones, worked 7:30-5 every day for the whole summer yikes. managed to pass junior year with a 4.0!!!

JUNE

 learned a lil how to quote and did NOT enjoy it. went to PRIDE with my wife and bought my first ace flag. it was actually petrifying to buy and wear, but i have one now which is awesome. holy shit got my first tattoo!!! it has faded a bit now but still looked awesome. it was the beginning of an addiction. picked up an internship at my old theatre company and... deeply regretted it as it pushed my 12 hour days to almost 18 hours. literally fell in love with the music director. 

JULY

a random woman complimented me??? so that was fun. watched after my old band directors kids (they were a nightmare i literally never want kids). got to hike and do all that fun stuff. went to the local county fair

AUGUST

my mom admitted to loving brooke more than me on her birthday (fair). got a card from my office team to celebrate my 21st a lil early. went back for SENIOR YEAR BOYS. got drunk at an old friends place. did marching band. moved in with two of my BEST FRIENDS IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. took improv with friends which was lit. we even did a whole performance. met a new friend! my other roommate brought in a new kitten (which became a whole thing holy shit). used school sanctioned ipads to dick around. shaved my head againnnn. was sober at a party (woof why). got the drunkest i have ever been and puked everywhere and passed out on the stairs. have not ever reached that level again. also cracked my phone. fully assumed position as president of two clubs. started rhetoric (yucky) and theatre and diversity (also ick but for different reasons)

SEPTEMBER

became NOT sober literally the next day nice. started the MASH group i think??? which is like the only thing im proud of. it was around here. had to pick up a friend whos car broke down. went to pride in a local town with friends!!! that was fun. turned 21!! couldn’t celebrate bc school and stage management, but my two roommates still made sure i had a good time. marching band boys! we did a LONG ASS parade with my cute lil section. did mixers for KPY and APO! had our first football game. held a band rehearsal in the dark because the lights didn’t work which was funny and SO weird. walked to the trains with some really awesome friends. broke into the cemetery and stole a traffic cone and put it on a statue on campus bc mania. went to a friends musical career takeoff and ran her merch table bc the person who was supposed to run it showed up almost an hour late. someone showed up at the lib while i was closing with a friend asking for a place to stay. i hope hes good now. tried omegle again for whatever reason. tried to go to a local diner and was DENIED bc they went from 24 hours to closing at 10pm so i had a mental breakdown in my car at 2am in a McDonalds parking lot. FINALLY got to celebrate my birthday and go to the bars!!! well bar singular. but had a really good time even if those people aren’t really my friends any more

OCTOBER

homecoming boysssss!!!! also ace pride. worked the WORST thing I have ever had to operate in the chapel but the people were nice about it so i was kinda okay. also got to be a part of the dopest percussion show and ran lights and sound for it. rhetoric ended thank christ and i never want to talk about anti-war messages in MASH ever again. finally learned that my best friend has a partner and was ECSTATIC. worked a haunted house which literally sucked so hard but we made bank on it so im okay with it. were robbed (i still have suspicions who did it but ill keep my mouth shut). dressed up as a newsie for halloween, and my roommates and i all took pictures which was awesome. started my internship and movement and stage

NOVEMBER

LAST FOOTBALL GAME got drunk too often probably lol. got an impulse tattoo with my roommates. went to a soccer game. went to the trains drunk and also olive garden. did trauma training so i got to act hysterical (act?). did some KPY bonding. had a hella long saturday with a concert and everything. shot my shot and MISSED. did greek thanksgiving. played DD for someones birthday bc expired license. got my NEW license. had a horrible time driving to and from thanksgiving break. got to hang with my WIFE

DECEMBER

made it home somehow?? did box office for the children’s show as well as publicity which was a lot of work tbh. went on a double date with my roommates and their partner. did the filming for the college christmas card. had an awesome party at our place and i regret nothing. celebrated the moving out of our 4th roommate. worked my last gig at the museum. managed to scrape by again with a 4.0. threw a great party at my place for like 5 days straight (jesus christ). did a horrible puzzle. tried an edible (suffered for it). hiked in the mountains a lil. caught up with high school friends by drinking which was AWESOME. saw Frozen 2. went out with my fam bam. had a great christmas. also threw a new years party (what??? that just got over) and felt like a pretty good hostess (i just provided alcohol lol but it worked) and got to catch up with some great great awesome friends and keep people safe and off the roads for new years. 

all in all a damn good year. its crazy how quickly things change, but im grateful for the place that i am in. can’t wait to graduate this year and see what happens next!!!

#firefly talks #we're already planning a mash party boys #its gonna be a great last semester i cant wait

[scifimagpie]

The Art of Destruction: Distressed Aesthetics

A belated happy new year, my dear followers!

So, I have a neat idea for a new series coming up. But after the holidays (which were pleasantly busy) and some interpersonal scuffling in January (which was not nearly as lovely, but came to an all-right enough resolution), my idea bank was absolutely flat broke.

A nice chat with friends has filled the bowl up, but while I work on those posts, here is something I stashed off to the side after a Facebook conversation last year.

I often reference fashion and clothing to help get in the right mindset for my writing projects. Whilst working on Poe's Outlaws (Book 4 of The Meaning Wars series; book 3, The Meaning Wars, is ready for beta-reading and edits now!) I indulged in my usual technique of sifting through Dolls Kill and Pinterest to look at various bits of outre, fun, futuristic fashion.  Of course, when working on Monsters and Fools and planning for After the Garden's sequels, I also like to look at post-apocalyptic and distressed clothing. I like distressed clothing anyway, but it tends to get a lot of flack. =

On an episode of a podcast called Minion Death Cult, the hosts discussed some common reactions of tradespeople and Boomers to distressed and some faux-muddy jeans. (Not unsurprisingly, there were a lot of tired jokes about just selling people old, worn-out jeans from "real" tradesmen.) But not a lot of people understand how distressed clothing works, or why it's somehow different from their dad's old, grimy jeans and tattered denim jacket, so I'm going to break it down. 

Note: all images in this article came from the Nordstrom website. Most or all are designed by PRPS.

  I'm gonna take the unusual stance here of defending distressed jeans, because I've been studying and making distressed knit clothing and other types of distressed clothing for a bit. Why? Because I like post-apocalyptic fashion, and I think wrecked things are often beautiful. 

You may be familiar with the term "wabi-sabi," which sometimes passes in and out of vogue for decorating trends. The term is comprised of two Japanese words - wabi, in a nutshell, refers to the beauty of simplicity; sabi, to the beauty of age and use. There's a bit more to it, but that's the quick explanation of these beautiful and imperfectly translatable terms. Wabi-sabi is usually used in reference to home decor, but it totally applies to clothing, too. 

Anyway, getting on with the point - the thing about dirty jeans is that they're gonna leave dirt on wherever you sit. Fake dirt still captures the same look, the rather beautiful way the brown stains and fades into the tightly woven blue threads, but it won't leave big ol' scuffmarks on your leather car seats.

As for the distressing, the interesting and beautiful way that denim falls apart tends to happen in less sexy areas - the knees, the thighs, the crotch. Distressing clothes on purpose lets you get the look without impairing the wearability and structural integrity of the clothes. Sometimes that doesn't work at all, like with the cheaper distressed jeans that are all holes and have a high spandex content, but that's still the idea.

As far as how this relates to designing and making clothing, with knitwear (such as the awesome punk sweaters we all may love, or at least have seen before), it's important to know how the particular fibres and yarns work structurally. There's a reason why clothing made to be or look distressed looks so awesome and a lot of actually busted up clothing or "home-made" distressed stuff looks crappy. Knowing where and how to cut fabric in pre-made knits, how to style the runs, or how to make patterns with the runs and holes, is all very calculated. As I've learned myself, if you try to distress a finely-knit sweater, it'll look like crap; distressing needs a chunkier, thicker yarn to be really noticeable. And wet-blocking a ravelled sweater (stretching while wet) is very important - otherwise, the threads maintain their curled appearance, and don't become those straight lines that create contrast with the curving knitted stitches. It's also really important to actually tie off runs in a distressed sweater, or the whole thing will, in fact, unravel. 

The advantage of knitting a sweater with a distressed look is that you can control this process. In effect, dropped stitches and yarn-overs create a sort of freeform lace look, and don't destroy the structural integrity of the sweater (which unravelling a pre-made sweater CAN do). 

So basically there IS a method to the madness in pre-distressed clothing, and knowing how to distress your clothing well and safely - whether it's for a stage production, Halloween, or fashion - takes more than sharp scissors and boredom!

Predictably, clothes like this inspire retorts like, "I could give you my old jeans covered in cow manure and farm dirt and motor oil for that price!" But that's the point - the "fake dirt" that so baffled the Washington Post and CNN, where reporters appeared unfamiliar with the concept of "p a i n t", will not rub off or dirty other surfaces. The pants don't contain the scent and sweat of another person's work, nor are they worn out and about to fall apart, as those pants probably are. (For example, the wear patterns and distressing and whiskering all appear on the thighs and calves of the jeans, rather than in the crotch, around the bottom cuffs, and etcetera.) 

It's not about pretending you work - it's about exploring the beauty of entropy and things that are lived-in. The way fabric dye fades, the soft whiskering of denim fabric, the delicate feathers of raw-edged cotton - all of these have their own beauty. Repairs can create a contrast from the original fabric or material as well, and it needn't be ugly. People familiar with "that weird gold thing," kintsuogi, may also know have seen it in cases where useful objects are repaired and the cracks are patched with gold leaf to highlight their beauty. 

Here's another example of finding beauty in marks and unexpected places. When I saw an advertisement for Canada Post that featured a very intriguing necklace, I tracked down the artist's work and had a look at her site.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BUkgqx4hXdu/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

View this post on Instagram

#fbf to my 30 seconds of fame 😛 I custom made this piece especially for the #canadapost commercial. It took every spare second I had for a month....... and it will be on-screen for a second at a time for three years 😪 💰#lianevazbespoke

A post shared by Toronto Goldsmith (@lianevazdesigns) on May 26, 2017 at 2:22pm PDT

However, to my surprise, most of her jewelry was either minimalist and geometric, or covered in dented and scratched textures, like this!

https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw10Dy7AWYp/

View this post on Instagram

HEX textured pendant in 18k gold on a vintage chain ✨

A post shared by Toronto Goldsmith (@lianevazdesigns) on Apr 29, 2019 at 6:17am PDT

Or, like this! 

There is real value in appreciating things as we wear them out. If we are to shift to a less consumption-driven culture, which is necessary in the fight against climate change, we're gonna have to get used to not having things that look new all the time. Supplies and availability of items may be restricted. Repairing clothing and items instead of just throwing them out has also become pretty popular amongst Generation Z, many of whom are embracing thrifting and minimal-waste lifestyles. 

But in addition to that, there's also a beauty in the broken or fraying, the imperfect, the less-than-new. Most of the time we spend with an item will be active. Jewelry gets scratches. Clothes rip. Colours fade. Paper tears. And all of those things expose new beauties and different aspects of the item, revealing its structure and design and suggesting or reminding us of experiences we've had.

After all, our possessions act as anchors for memories. There's a reason why in pre-industrial times, treasured items were passed down through generations or repaired over and over. Our things aren't just pretty diversions or useful parts of daily life - they're parts of our lives, woven or tangled with our memories.

***

Michelle Browne is a sci fi/fantasy writer and editor. She lives in Lethbridge, AB with her partner-in-crime and Max the cat. Her days revolve around freelance editing, knitting, jewelry, and learning too much. She is currently working on other people’s manuscripts, the next books in her series, and drinking as much tea as humanly possible.

Find her all over the internet: * OG Blog * Mailing list * Magpie Editing * Amazon * Medium * Twitter * Instagram * Facebook * Tumblr * Paypal.me * Ko-fi

#wabi sabi #distressed #DIY #knitting #fashion #sci fi #post apoc rp #apoc #cosplay #futurism #clothing #apocalypse #post apocalyptic #grunge #punk

[heretyc]

modern mother Val au [headcanons]

we all need a loving mama Val ♥ modern au because being a mother that runs a cult and shit is hard!!! let’s give her a break, shall we ♥ plus, there are mentions to her past. they’re not canon by any means; just ideas and fillers. 

- Val is mother goals.

- Seriously. She will attend all of your events. Take you everywhere. Show her appreciation and love towards you. A mother that everyone wants and deserves.

- When you were born/younger she spoiled the absolute shit out of you with attention, toys, little cute outfits, whatever your heart desired.

- She could’ve been pregnant or she adopted; whatever you want. Whatever you think is canon. Either way, you’re her little babe and she loves you no matter what. ♥

- She would not put you down for those first couple days of your life.

- If you fell and broke into tears, she’d stay calm and find your little red cheeks to be cute. [and pinchable.]

- She’d put a little, brightly coloured bandaid on the scrape and whisper that you’re fine.

- She needs to be calm so you’re calm. It’s no trouble to her.

- “I know it was scary, and it hurts, but look. You’re okay. My strong little [Name]. ♥”

- She pulls you against her chest- the soft cloth of her dress is nice on your cheek- and she holds you there until there are no tears left.

- Her family was incredibly Religious and had their beliefs pushed onto her constantly. She doesn’t want that for you. 

- You can believe in whatever you want. No judgement will come from her.

- She has to at least give you one hug or kiss a day.

- Halloween is scary for her. She doesn’t trust anybody in costume. 

- She also hates the idea of going to other people’s doors for candy.

- She thinks it’s the “free candy” van trick with extra steps.

- “Oh my god, [Name], is that your friend?! He’s dressed as a ghost. It’s too scary. You’re staying in.” “Mum, he’s wearing a bright pink sheet...” “I don’t care.”

- She buys a bunch of candy on sale the next day to apologize.

- As you grow, you go through a lot of phases and confusion. The emo phase. The anime phase. Whatever else.

- Val supports you through it all. You’re trying to find your true self and she won’t try and stop that.

- But she’d appreciate it if you liked different bands throughout your emo phase.

- “Blood on the Dance Floor? Why would there be blood...on the dancefloor?” She’d mumble to herself underneath your squealing. “There must have been pretty intense dancing for blood to appear...”

- Going out partying is a huge no-no for her. You could end up lost. Or kidnapped. Or something worse.

- She’d prefer you’d party at your own house. With her.

- But instead of loud music and alcohol, she’d crack puns.

- Good ol’ Val.

- She really wants the best for you. 

- At one point, you experience the “sexuality” confusion. You don’t know if you’re bi. Gay. Straight. It sucks and you feel as if you won’t fall in love at all.

- She totally understands and helps you in whatever way she can.

- Then, there’s the makeup phase. You see makeup tutorials on youtube and want to be just as good. You ask your mother to do your makeup and give you some tips.

- Val doesn’t believe in makeup; everyone has beauty within them, whether it’s on the inside or the outside. She doesn’t get it.

- But if it makes you happy...

- She does an awesome job. You feel so pleased and she feels proud.

- Your friends ask who did it. Let’s just say your mother now has a fanbase.

- We all know Val is an attractive woman, okayyyyyy?

- She’s bound to get asked out by men and women all the same. 

- But she rejects them. 

- She only has one person in her life that she wants to adore with all of her heart,

- and that’s you.

- Not only is she attractive, she is the Chief Deacon of your city/town. She gets excellent pay and can work from home if needed. 

- Everyone has insecurities. Even her sometimes. 

- Val does everything in her power to make sure you understand that you’re perfect.

- You may encounter bullies every now and then. But she tells you that they hurt you because they’re jealous, and they probably are dealing with something at home.

- Those bullies don’t last long though.

- Because Mama Val will pick you up at school, tell you she’ll meet you in the car and demand the principal for names once you’re out of the building.

- Grades aren’t really that important to her unless you’re outright failing.

- She won’t get angry at you or yell. Never. That’s not the right way of approaching things.

- She’ll sit you down and talk with you. Ask if anything is bothering you.

- Prom is a thing, and you’ve been asked to go by someone you’ve been interested in.

- Val nearly sheds a tear when she sees you in your prom attire; her pretty babe, looking like royalty, is the light of her life and she feels so blessed.

- The night of the prom is going smoothly. You left an hour ago to go meet your date, and Val gets some chores done. Laundry, sweeping the floors, the usual.

- Until she gets a tearful phone call from you.

- You thought you were stood up. Until your date was seen with the popular girl at school.

- Val is now angry as fuck and doesn’t get why someone would do that to another individual. 

- You ask her if she can pick you up from the front of the school. She’s already getting her boots on and grabbing the car keys.

- When she sees you, she sees swollen eyes and messy hair.

- She makes snacks and you both watch your favourite show until you fall asleep on the couch.

- Val takes note of your soft breathing and chuckles. You were so cute.

- She drapes a blanket over you and puts your head in her lap after grabbing a book and a hot drink.

- But when she’s done, she takes you up to your bed and goes into her own.

- Imagine her happy tears when you graduate.

- Her baby!!! Graduated!!!!!

- Vacation time!!

- She takes you to wherever you want. You worked your ass off and graduated. This is your present!

- Wanna visit the caribbean? She’s got sundresses all packed. 

- Planning on going to Finland? She has coats all packed. And more coats, and yeah you get my point. 

- She’s from the south. She doesn’t like the cold.

- But she’ll do anything for her babe!!

- The day you moved out killed her internally.

- She texted you. Every day.

- Wholesome pictures are sent to you every morning.

- “Make sure you stay hydrated.”

- She does not understand what memes are. Please help her, she’s suffering.

- Her friend sent her a meme and she doesn’t understand a damn thing lmfao.

- Overall, she’s a caring, lovely mama and would cross lava for you. ♥

- ...But she recently bought Cheetos and those are hers. Don’t ask for any.

- Trust me, I asked. I got nowhere. 

#outlast 2 val #outlast 2 #val outlast #outlast 2 headcanons #outlast headcanons #val headcanons #mama val makes an appearance #enjoy!!! #<3

[jenroseyokel]

Awesome of the Year 2018: The Books

Happy New Year! ‘Tis the season for year end lists left and right as we attempt to figure out the best of everything from 2018. And of course, as a fan of books, music, and movies, it’s only right to get in on the list-making. Over the next week or so, I’ll be sharing my 2018 favorite lists. First up: books! This year, I set my Goodreads reading challenge at 40 books, and actually passed it. I’ve been setting arbitrary book goals for years, but I’m pretty sure this is the first time I’ve succeeded since 2007. Probably because of all the graphic novels and comic trades I read this year WHICH TOTALLY COUNT BTW. Ahem. Anyway. This isn’t really a best of 2018 list so much as a Here’s a Bunch of Books I Really Liked in 2018 list, split up into categories. I hope you’ll find something interesting here, especially if you’re looking for ways to spend bookstore or Amazon gift cards you got for Christmas… ;)

Newish Books by Rad Christian Women:

Every Arbitrary Book Goal should have a small correlated goal attached. This year mine was to make sure I read at least 50% women authors… and there have been a lot of GREAT new books from women writers in the past few years. If the “Christian women” section of your local bookstore makes you cringe a little inside too, check out these three wonderful books, all released in the past couple years:

Courage, Dear Heart by Rebecca K. Reynolds (NavPress, 2018)

Anyone who has read Rebecca’s writing knows she needed to write a book. She has a sharp mind, a poet's soul, a scientist's eye, and the most beautiful, tender heart. Also, she's an incredible writer who loves her readers with a love that radiates off every page. Buy a copy for everyone you know.

Wearing God by Lauren F. Winner (HarperOne, 2017) Girl Meets God was a formative book in my early 20s, and I’ve always meant to read more from this author, but somehow haven't. I finally picked up this one and oh man, for a solid month afterward I couldn’t stop thinking about it. With the eye of a scholar and the heart of a poet, Winner draws on personal stories, deep Biblical study, and a love of language to explore lesser known metaphors for God. Liturgy of the Ordinary by Tish Harrison Warren (InterVarsity Press, 2016)

Several years ago, James K.A. Smith’s Desiring the Kingdom helped me see liturgy in a new way, as not just religious practice, but the embedded routines that shape us. In this book, Tish Warren brings that idea to life as she walks through an ordinary day explores the holiness in our most mundane moments of living. You may not look at brushing your teeth or losing your keys the same way again.

Good Stories

This year, fiction reading was… all over the place? I don’t know if I read much that was OMG amazing, but here are a few that were fun…

The Fairyland Series 2-5 by Catherynne M. Valente (Feiwel & Friends, 2012-2015)

I am notoriously awful at finishing book series. I read the first Fairyland book maybe… two years ago? Yikes. Just finished the last one and wow, so fun. Colorful characters, a whimsical narrator, crazy locations, and a whole lot of heart make this Victorian fairytale meets contemporary fantasy a delight to read. 

Til We Have Faces by C.S. Lewis (Harcourt, 1956)

Lewis’ contemporary retelling of the Cupid and Pschye myth through the eyes of Psyche’s jealous sister Orual. Second read for me, and even better this time around. Pretty sure this is Lewis’ storytelling at his best.

Strange Practice by Vivian Shaw (Orbit, 2017)

This was a year to embrace fun, nerdy reads. So there was the Star Trek spoof Redshirts (with a plot twist I totally saw coming... and I am not good at guessing plot twists) and my first trip into the Star Wars extended book universe (or whatever the heck they call it these days) and… this. A story about a doctor for the undead in London, trying to solve the mysteries surrounding a murderous cult and keep her monster friends safe. Not the greatest, but a fun Halloween read. I’ll get to the sequel eventually. (See also: bad at finishing book series.)

Poetry for Everyone 

Another new reading practice this year: always keeping a poetry book on the bedside table. Poetry books are best for leisurely dipping in and out rather than reading cover to cover. If you think poetry is only for the ivory towers, give these writers a try and think again.

A Child's Year by Christopher Yokel (Independent, 2018)

Okay, I’m biased here, but hey! Chris quietly released a new poetry book into the world this fall, and I’m a big fan of Chris AND his poems. A Child’s Year is a season cycle, sort of like his last book A Year in Weetamoo Woods, but this time it’s anchored by a four part poem recalling the journey of seasons through childhood eyes. And according to our friend Kirsten’s 7-year-old son, he gets the experience right. ;) 

The Jubilee by John Blase (Bright Coppers Press, 2017) For his 50th birthday, John Blase released his first poetry book, with a poem for every year of life. It’s rare for me to make it through an entire collection start to finish but these were just so good. There are poems about aging — the author’s and his parents’ — and poems that evoke wide spaces and natural wonder. There are psalms and parables, and meditations on dying and, yes, living. All of them finely tuned with wisdom, gentle grace, and a touch of humor in all the right places. How I Discovered Poetry by Marilyn Nelson (Dial Books, 2014)

When I heard Marilyn Nelson read her poem “Thirteen-Year-Old American Negro Girl” on the On Being podcast, I was captivated. And when I found this lovely hardcover in a used bookstore back home in Florida, I knew I needed to read more. This is a memoir in poetry about growing up in a black military family during the American Civil Rights era, told with gentle lyricism, warmth, and humor. Plus, the book itself is lovely with whimsical illustrations and family photos.

Comics!

I’m always on a quest to get more comics in my life. Plus knocking out a whole series in a couple weeks is a solid way to pad out your Arbitrary Book Goal.

Amulet 1-7 by Kazu Kibuishi (Graphix, 2008-2016)

After their father’s tragic death, Emily and Navin move with their mom to a strange old house that belonged to their great-grandfather… and so the adventure begins. In this fantasy series, the two kids find themselves in an underground world of demons, robots, talking animals, and a dangerous and powerful Amulet. A captivating and beautifully illustrated fantasy tale. Ms. Marvel 1-5 by G. Willow Wilson (Marvel, 2014-2016)

Y’all, I super want to be a Marvel nerd. But alas, I can't keep up, so I get my sister to loan books to me. Ms. Marvel is my new fave. A Pakistani-American girl from Jersey City has the power to grow, shrink, and stretch her body at will. So she’s trying to fight crime, keep up at school, and well, stay out of trouble with her parents. So fun. (Dear Disney: I really want this kid to show up in Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. before it gets canceled kthxbye.)

The Legend of Wonder Woman by Ranae De Liz and Ray Dillon (DC Comics, 2016)

Weren’t we all mildly obsessed with Wonder Woman after the 2017 film? Another one I borrowed from my sister. A solid take on Diana’s origin story that’s accessible for comic n00bs (ahem, like me) who can’t figure out where to begin with beautiful art and a lot of heart.

The Classic I Finally Read 

Sense and Sensibility by Jane Austen I always try to tackle either a thick intimidating novel or an unread classic in the wintertime. This year, I worked on my Austen deficiency and discovered I relate a little too much to Elinor Dashwood.

What’s Next?

In the new year, I think my goal is less about numbers and more about reading widely. I liked the 50% women authors goal because it helped me actively choose to support women writers. This year, hoping to read more books by authors of color, explore some new ideas and genres, and hopefully do a better job reading deeply and taking notes. I’ve got my eye on Book Riot’s Read Harder Challenge too, perhaps as a way to dig into new things I wouldn’t normally notice. And yeah... perhaps a monthly reading life update is a thing I can do here on the blog. :)

If you’re curious to see the full list of What I Read This Year and follow along with me in 2019, feel free to follow me on Goodreads!

What were some of your favorite reads in 2018? And what are your goals for the new year? I’d love to hear all about it in the comments!

#art #books #reading #awesome of the year #readers of tumblr #reading list #favorite books #best of 2018 #readers are leaders yo

[crdenhart]

10 Movies You Should Watch This Halloween 2017

October is here, and now is the time to get into the Halloween spirit! Instead of the traditional “best of” Halloween movie list (don’t need to mention yet again how much I love The Shining, the first two Halloween films, and The Exorcist), here are a list of 10 movies (in release date order) that may not be as well known or not usually listed among the upper echelon of scary movies but perfect for this 2017 Halloween season and worth a look.

Eraserhead (1977)

“In Heaven everything is fine…”

The spectacular new season of Twin Peaks just came to an end last month, so this Halloween would be the perfect time to take a look back at David Lynch’s brilliant feature film debut on its 40th anniversary.  The film create a sense of total dread and darkness in its beautiful black-and-white cinematography, eerie sound design, and well-acted performances. It is pure horror!  The film has inspired a significant number filmmakers over the years, including Stanley Kubrick while he worked on The Shining. It may be one of the most important movies ever made!

Phantasm (1979)

“Boooy!”

This cult-classic horror film was remastered in HD this past year (with the help of JJ Abrams) so this Halloween would be the first time to experience the film in its full visual glory.  I love the creepy music, eerie sets, and low-fi feel of the film; feels like being in a haunted house. Really high quality for such a low budget and some really good scares, especially Angus Scrimm as the menacing Tall Man. If you like movies such as Stranger Things, Super 8, and the Halloween series you will love Phantasm!

Vincent (1982)

“Vincent is nice when his aunt comes to see him, but imagines dipping her in wax for his wax museum.”

This early Tim Burton stop-motion short film is a masterpiece! Vincent Price provides the narration with great inflection.  The animation is top-notch and some of the best stop-motion work ever; love the dark visuals and music.  At some points it feels like we are getting a glimpse at Tim Burton’s childhood.  The short celebrates its 35th anniversary this year, and its influence shows in the many stop-motion films that have been released since (i.e. Nightmare Before Christmas, Corpse Bride, ParaNorman, Frankenweenie). It’s almost as if all stop-motion animated films have to be horror-themed and this one was the first.

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982)

“Happy, happy Halloween, Halloween, Halloween! Happy, happy Halloween, Silver Shamrock!”

Most overlook this film and pass on it as “the one without Michael Myers,” but Season of the Witch is actually a great horror film in its own respect. John Carpenter’s idea of having a different Halloween-themed story with each sequel while maintaining some of the same crew and cast (albeit in different roles) was way ahead of its time and now seems to be commonplace with American Horror Story changing its story and characters every year.  I love the cinematography, special effects, scary soundtrack, especially the dark “Silver Shamrock” commercial song.  The movie also celebrates its 35th anniversary this Halloween.  Definitely worth another look because it is actually a good horror movie, especially if one doesn’t think of it as a Halloween sequel.

Return to Oz (1985)

“There’s no place like home!”

Many see this movie as the weird Wizard of Oz sequel. However, it stands on its own as a truly unique fantasy adventure film. It is actually quite dark in parts; more in the likes of The Neverending Story or The Dark Crystal than the 1939 original.  This movie is great for Halloween with the fall setting, the Halloween visuals (i.e. Jack Pumpkinhead, the thousand-head wicked witch Mombi), and the spooky interpretation of Oz.

Stephen King’s It (1990)

“They ALL float down here. When you’re down here with us, you’ll float too!”

If you like the new IT adaptation (or if you don’t), definitely check out the 1990 original. The new film has more impressive special effects and is a better movie overall, but the 1990 miniseries holds a special nostalgic place in my heart and is much scarier thanks mostly to Tim Curry’s terrifying performance as Pennywise the Dancing Clown. This film also would make a great introduction to the horror genre to younger viewers because it scary without the excessive gore or gratuitous sex found in many horror films.

Halloweentown (1998)

“Being normal is vastly overrated.”

With the passing of star Debbie Reynolds this past December, this Halloween is the perfect time to pay tribute to the late actress by watching one of her best films.  My siblings and I watched this film and its sequels (the 2nd one is good too, 3rd and 4th are not so much) every Halloween at our grandparents’ house. Not really scary as much as it is a fun Halloween movie. I love the decorative set designs of the town (it’s a place I would love to visit if it were real) and the cool costumes used for all the monster characters who live in Halloweentown. It’s a movie all ages can enjoy!

The Sixth Sense (1999)

“I see dead people.”

With writer-director M. Night Shyamalan making a successful career comeback earlier this year with Split, this Halloween is the perfect time to take a look back at the film that made him a celebrity filmmaker. The atmosphere and performances are incredible!  I used to watch this film for the horror elements as a kid and in my teen year, but now as an adult, I see this more as a film about love and relationships.  There are some scenes that really hit me deeply on an emotional level, especially in the scene where Cole tells his mom how much her mother really loved her and the final scene with Malcolm and his wife.  One watching this movie can see why Shyamalan was at one point thought to be the next Spielberg.

Rob Zombie’s Halloween (2007)

“Behind these eyes one finds only blackness, the absence of light.  These are the eyes of a psychopath.”

This Halloween marks the 10th anniversary of Rob Zombie’s Halloween film (my dad and I saw it theaters on opening day when I was a high school freshman). It is quite possibly the best horror film of the past 15 years! Though not as much of classic or as scary as the 1978 original, the 2007 film stands above other horror remakes (i.e. Nightmare on Elm Street, Friday the 13th, The Fog, Prom Night, Psycho, Amityville Horror) and succeeds by being its own thing and not trying to be a carbon copy of the original.  I especially like the performances including Malcolm McDowell as Dr. Loomis and Daeg Faerch as young Michael Myers.  Also some really great cinematography and use of colors and overall pacing that gives the story a grand scope.  Plus it has a killer soundtrack featuring awesome songs like “God of Thunder” by KISS, “Baby, I Love Your Way” by Peter Frampton, and “Love Hurts” by Nazareth.

Trick ‘r Treat (2007)

“Always check your candy.”

Good elements of dark comedy are sprinkled throughout this colorful horror anthology. I like how the film is several Halloween-themed shorts that are all tied together.  It’s the rare horror film that is both fun and scary!  Also check out writer-director Michael Dougherty’s short animated precursor “Season’s Greetings,” really retro and creative!

Happy Halloween!  By the way, as an added treat, here is a picture from my animated Halloween short in post-production called “Halloween Cat.”

#halloween #movie list #movies #michael myers #John Carpenter #rob zombie #m night shyamalan #trickrtreat #sixth sense #halloweentown #tim burton #vincent #return to oz #it #stephen king #tim curry #horror #american horror story #halloween iii #season of the witch #eraserhead #david lynch #phantasm

[beep-beep-kneecaps]

my halloween costume was going to be a pumpkin head but i never got around to making it, then i decided to be a witch but we never found the witch hat so instead im dressed very goth like and will have vampire teeth in and a blood drip choker. honestly make up would make this a lot cooler and more put together but! i dont have makeup.... and my grandmas taking a nap so ill ask i guess after she wakes up but i doubt she has anything that would help me create what i have in mind. but our 9 year old neighbor just started middle school and apparently theres elmo cults?? middle schools wild, id like to mention she was in a full on fnaf cosplay, i dunno fnaf but she was purple and had a puppet?? but she seemed happy that i recognized it as fnaf

anyways, i feel awesome in this outfit