#whereas zuko's family always made it a curse

[flatstarcarcosa]

@autistic-council-spectre

@therailwayarms

OKAY SO, it hit me the other week, like. thematically, right? zuko + regaining honor.........dishonored. hello??? 

but i had to go deeper and holy fuck did i ever??????

so for starters, it’s defs one of those au’s where instead of like a creative split of media, it’s just. “dishonored but the main characters are the atla cast instead of corvo and them”. 

the outsider has taken an interest in our royal fire family. he acts as if the affairs of humans mean nothing to him, but if anyone bothers to do the research, you can see he’s marked others in the family tree. 

azulon, notably, was not marked. 

sozin was, and used the powers of the Mark to start this setting’s take on the 100 year war. i have a background lore HC that he also marks a lot of the ‘airbenders’, and that the concept of an ‘avatar’ is something only they have, and it has to do w/ being marked. (the windblast power is clearly a placeholder for airbending, yfm?)

anyway. 

iroh was marked for a while, secretly. he went from being a normal commander to suddenly The Hero Of The Nation thanks to it, and no one aside from himself, the outsider, and his son knew. 

lu ten’s knowledge of his father’s mark is what got him killed. overseer’s mistakenly thought he was the one with the power due to his knowledge, and they murdered him for it. 

iroh killed about half of those responsible before he realized that not only is it not going to bring his son back, it’s also only going to reinforce the views the overseers have.

he piled his runes and his bone charms at a draped altar and sat in the candle light smelling burning chamomile until the outsider showed himself, and he renounced him. 

he gave up the mark, and the power, and he was the first human to ever do so. 

meanwhile, ozai has been watching his brothers successes from the sidelines and growing ever more frustrated with being unable to match it. 

one night, he awakens to a world balanced on end and awash in blackness, and the outsider taunting him by asking what would you do if you suddenly had the power to achieve your goals? 

he hides his own mark, for a time. he’s unable to completely hide it from ursa, and she is unable to accept it. she is unable to truly accept that the outsider is real and not a children’s fairytale designed to make kids behave, and she agrees not to involve overseers in exchange for ozai ‘banishing’ her and releasing her from a life she never really wanted. (she loved him ((because fuck what the comics say)) yes, and she loves her children moreso, but she never wanted to be royalty.) 

they swear to each other one day, they will reunite. perhaps not as partners, but maybe as free souls. and perhaps friends. 

he promises to care for the children. 

it is the first promise he breaks. 

ozai is plagued by the outsider. 

tortured. 

every time he closes his eyes, the black eyed bastard is there. 

is this all you can do with my gift? he asks. 

you were a dark soul all along, you just needed the proper push, he says. 

ozai suffers for years from exhaustion. he is unable to stop the outsider from visiting his dreams, and when destroying every shrine his soldiers find does not help, he resorts to refusing to sleep. 

it drives him mad, and will eventually lead to his downfall. 

at the height of his father’s madness, zuko is banished for speaking out of turn at a war meeting. his father holds him down into the smoldering embers of a fire in his office, and banishes him from the lands. 

the second night of his banishment, zuko awakens to a word balanced on end, and awash in blackness. 

“this is not the first time i have been with your ilk,” says the outsider. 

he marks zuko in spite of his protests, and it is here zuko learns that his uncle once carried the gift. 

“he calls it a gift,” says iroh sadly. “but really, it is a curse. i am sorry he has paid you visits.” 

iroh is now the one that begins to lose sleep. 

the outsider’s mark did not turn him into a maniacal tyrant, but he knows he chased the glory of being the dragon of the west because of it. he knows without the mark, he would not have slaughtered dozens of men in a blind rage. 

he knows the mark turned him into the worst version of himself, and he loses sleep with abject terror of what the worst version of his nephew could possibly be.  

in the end. 

he had no reason to worry. 

zuko turns out to be the one who should have been marked the entire time. the one who can turn the curse into a gift. 

among his journey, zuko discovers that while the outsider can visit whomever he chooses, and invade the dreams of mortals, 

so too can his family line. 

there is something inherent in this royal family, they can wander into the void when they sleep in the way that others sleep walk. 

ozai drove himself mad thinking the outsider was tormenting him, when in reality, he was the one trespassing in the other’s living room, and getting mad at the outsider being present. 

ozai’s control over, and power with the mark wanes the more mad he drives himself. 

zuko’s strengthens with every lesson he learns about the magic that enriches his lands. 

#txt.txt #nonship au: dishonorable #i might actually do a fic series for this ngl #i love the ideas so far............... #also the possible parralels or w/e of aangs people truly turning the mark into a gift #whereas zuko's family always made it a curse #and it going back to roku or w/e?????????? #and it's why zuko can understand it in ways no one before him could.................. #*chefs kiss* boutta go play dh1 for the fifteenth time since ya boy still can't run dh2

[engagedzukka]

Ok so ur Taylor Swift Zukka playlist is *chefs kiss* and I need to add that my tears ricochet is 10000 percent about Zuko’s relationship with his family and no one can convince me otherwise

FIRST of all, thanks for listening! 

SECOND of all, thanks for giving me a platform to ramble even MORE about this!

THIRD of all, about my tears ricochet.....

I know you said that no one can convince you otherwise, but have you considered the possibility that MTR is not about Zuko, but rather about Azula?

Because what is MTR about? It’s about stooping low, refusing to take the high road, and instead vowing to take revenge when someone you love, and someone who claims to love YOU, has hurt you. this is very in-line with Azula’s mindset around the time of the final Agni Kai against Zuko. 

I think MTR fits much more with Azula’s perspective than it does with Zuko’s for three main reasons: 1) Azula’s attacker (Zuko) claims to act based on selfless motivation; on the other hand, Zuko’s attackers (Azula, Ozai) never claimed to act out of anything besides self-interest; 2) Azula’s attackers (Zuko, and to some extent Ozai and Ursa) claim to view her in a positive light, whereas Zuko’s attackers (Azula and Ozai) do not claim to view him that way; and 3) Azula lashes out against Zuko and the other people close to her out of anger and a desire to inflict pain and instill fear; Zuko is only the aggressor when defending himself or pursuing what he views as a higher moral ideal. 

ANALYSIS UNDER THE CUT CAUSE THIS GOT LONG 

1) Azula’s antagonists claim the moral high ground. Zuko’s do not. 

Consider the following lyrics: 

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And you're the hero flying around saving face

I think this lyric really serves to capture Azula’s state of mind following the final Agni Kai. Zuko, after taking the throne, is the “hero,” pretending to save the Fire Nation from its past. Obviously, Azula fails to see or to accept that this motivation is genuine, because to her, being the Fire Lord is personal. It’s not about pursuing a higher ideal; it’s about securing power for herself (which in turn is a way of securing the affirmation she desperately craves from her father). 

On the other hand, it’s highly unlikely Zuko would ever characterize Azula or Ozai as acting like a “hero.” He sees them for what they are, and they see themselves that way, too. 

Additionally: 

You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same Cursing my name, wishing I stayed You turned into your worst fears

You HAD to kill me. You had some moral OBLIGATION to kill me. Zuko’s abusers never felt the need to extinguish him, and this is borne out by the fact that they never actually did. He was never dangerous or important or powerful enough. But it’s different for Zuko - he HAS to put a stop to Azula’s reign, or countless people will be hurt. Thus, I think this line makes a lot more sense coming from Azula’s perspective, speaking to Zuko. 

Also, Zuko doesn’t think Azula turned into her worst fears. He thinks she became exactly what she wanted to be, a dictator with unlimited authority. But Azula thinks Zuko became HIS worst fears by becoming an arbitrary, power-hungry leader, one willing to take out his own sister to get what he wants. 

2) Azula’s antagonists claim to love her. Zuko’s do not. 

It’s likely that Azula would disbelieve or mischaracterize Zuko’s mourning of her, as Taylor does in the following lines: 

And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? Cursing my name, wishing I stayed

When Zuko defects from the Fire Nation, he has no expectation that anyone in his family will be “wishing he stayed.” There is no genuine mourning of the loss of Zuko, and he doesn’t think there will be. Neither Azula nor Ozai ever make any sort of public claim that they wish he stayed, not after Day of Black Sun. 

On the other hand, Azula likely does hear Zuko mourning her loss, post Agni-Kai. I think we can all imagine that after Azula is committed for treatment and Zuko has ascended to power, Zuko will likely make clear that he is remorseful for what happened to Azula and expressly wish that things were different. And if you’re Azula, the person Zuko is “mourning” after he beat her and took away what was rightfully hers, how would you react to that? You would think it was disingenuous. You would ask, if I’m dead to you, why are you at the wake? If you’re the one who finished me, how can you despair that I’m finished? 

And you can aim for my heart, go for blood But you would still miss me in your bones 

In case it isn’t clear without the context of the song, in this line Taylor is basically saying: you can hurt me, but you’ll regret it, because you’ll be hurting yourself, too.

Now, after Zuko defected for the last time from the Fire Nation, I don’t think he has any fantasy that Ozai or Azula will be “missing him in their bones.” He has come to recognize their family dynamic for what it is, one based on manipulation as opposed to love. He doesn’t think they’ll regret the hurt they’ve caused him, and he accepts that. 

But at the time of the final Agni Kai, Azula hasn’t had this revelation yet. She DOES think she will be missed eventually, either by Zuko or by Ozai. She does think that time will tell, and Zuko will come to regret hurting her, that he’ll miss her in his bones. And honestly, that’s probably an accurate assessment to some extent! 

And you're tossing out blame  Drunk on this pain Crossing out the good years

Azula sees Zuko as “crossing out the good years” of their childhood friendship, whereas Zuko has come to realize by now that there were no good years, not really. Thus, this line makes a lot more sense coming from Azula’s perspective. 

Finally: 

And I still talk to you When I'm screaming at the sky And when you can't sleep at night You hear my stolen lullabies

When Zuko has given up on his family, I don’t think it can be said that he’s still reaching out to them (”I still talk to you”) or trying to make himself heard by them (”when I’m screaming at the sky”). Nor does it seem like he expects for them to haunted by his memory (his “stolen lullabies”). It’s more likely he believes they will be apathetic. 

On the other hand, I think it’s likely that Azula would continue lashing out at Zuko after she’s locked up - even if it will never really reach him. Even if it’s just screaming at the sky. And more importantly, I think that she would hope that he would be kept up at night thinking of what he did to her. She would want him to hear her stolen lullabies when he can’t sleep. She would want him to be haunted by his memory. She would EXPECT him to be. I don’t think Zuko ever wished anything like this on Ozai or Azula, and I don’t think he EXPECTED this from them, either, because he doesn’t believe either of them ever truly cared about him at all.

3) Azula's motivations are personal. Zuko’s are not.  

THIS, the idea of taking revenge against a lost love who betrayed you, is at the core of my tears ricochet. And that’s the primary reason why I think this song fits Azula so much better than it fits Zuko. Zuko doesn’t fight Azula because he wants revenge; he does it because it’s what he thinks is right for the Fire Nation and the world as a whole. Azula is objectively dangerous and needs to be incapacitated for reasons that are not personal to him. On the other hand, consider these lines: 

And if I'm on fire You'll be made of ashes, too

and

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves

Both of these lyrics refer to the decision to commit a violent act, not to pursue some higher ideal (like ending a war), but out of anger for an act committed against oneself. I find that both of these lines go a long way to describe Azula’s mindset DURING that final Agni Kai, when she forfeits the fight and decides to aim for Katara instead of Zuko. At that point, Azula knows she’s losing. She knows Zuko has KILLED her, metaphorically, and maybe a literal execution is soon to follow. And what does Azula do in that moment? She doesn’t have it in herself to go with grace. She doesn’t accept that she’s lost. Instead she fights dirty. She makes it personal. 

Zuko never goes there. Azula does. AZULA’S tears ricochet. Which is why I will always, more than anything, associate this song with her. 

And if I'm dead to you why are you at the wake? Cursing my name Wishing I stayed Look at how my tears ricochet. 

LISTEN FOR YOURSELF AND DECIDE.

#HI #I WENT A BIT PSYCHO AND WROTE THIS #i hate myself too #ask #anon