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#when they're trying to get fiona to leave them alone and they're both just the 🧍‍♂️ emoji
fitz-skimmons · 11 months
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OUTLANDER (2014—) Roger & Brianna in every episode: S07E03, Death Be Not Proud
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prongsmydeer · 8 months
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Ayesha Liveblogs Shrek 1 and 2
"Once upon a time there was a lovely princess, but she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort, which could only be broken by love's first kiss." Interesting that they choose 'first' instead of 'true' here
It's always the highest room of the tallest tower. Can't be a princess and afraid of heights I guess
RIP Steve Harwell, and the iconic Shrek song, Allstar by Smashmouth
Honestly, this intro makes Shrek out to be very meticulous, as an Ogre. He's getting all fresh for the day, cleaning out his log gutters, painting an artsy little sign, making himself a little snack, burp-flamethrowing a fire to relax. Am I crazy in saying I understand why people keep romanticizing Shrek
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The animation is really holds up, considering this was 20 years ago. Shrek was onto something!
"Ogres, they're much worse. They'll make a suit from your freshly-peeled skin. They'll shave your liver. They'll squeeze the jelly from your eyes. Actually, it's quite good on toast." Can we confirm or deny whether or not Ogres are actually eating people or if this is just something Shrek is saying to be left alone. I would like to know
Even if we deny the inherent sentience of the Donkey and Pinocchio, like the witch and dwarves are fully humanoid, so this collection and "resettlement" for money essentially suggests that one of the main plot contentions of Shrek is the trafficking of people. Why did I never think about this LMAO
I love that Donkey singing "Friends" implies the existence of Bette Midler in the Shrek universe
Shrek is so soft-hearted it takes literally 10 seconds of pleading for Donkey to convince him to have a houseguest for the night
"We can stay up late, swapping manly stories, and in the morning, I'm making waffles." How does Donkey make waffles without hands?
Are those HUMAN eyeballs Shrek is plopping into his martini as a little condiment??? Discuss
Extremely rude of the seven dwarves to knock Shrek's dinner off the table using Snow White's glass coffin lmao
Did they all come bc Shrek is the only one intimidating enough for the knights to leave alone (protection racket for Fairytale diaspora who are victims of democide) or because the swamp is the only fairy-tale safe land (forced displacement under occupation) or both
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The "eviction notice" makes it seem like the latter, but I am honestly intrigued by the political implications of Shrek LMAO
""I'm gonna see this guy Farquaad right now, and get you all off my land and back where you came from." Shrek, accidental advocate against settler colonialism
"That's enough. He's ready to talk." How long has the Gingerbread Man been being tortured omg. Also what an evil opening line
"Alright then. Who's hiding them?" This implies that it IS an active form of democide
Fhfkjhfkjhf I didn't remember that Cinderella and Snow White were also Bachelorette options. I love that they have other roles in the movies
LMAO at the Mirror trying to give the Curse Caveat about Fiona and being dismissed. You'd think that'd be part of the intro
"Wait a second. Look, I'm not gonna eat you." Every passing comment in this movie implies more and more that Shrek has eaten people in the past
"Please keep off the grass, shine your shoes, wipe your—face." Hidden memory unlocked lmao
You know, Donkey is as equally responsible for defeating the knights as Shrek is. He holds his own!
Omg @ Shrek inadvertently selling out the Swamp Squatters to the person trying to hunt them
We interrupt this liveblog to present you with a Venn diagram of Ogres and Onions (Shrek 2001)
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"I know what I smell, and it wasn't no brimstone." Donkey has some qualms about bodily functions for someone who just pissed out a fire
"Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location." [Laughing] I love the little jokes Shrek makes when he goes to a place
Genuinely endearing how Shrek cradles Donkey's face when assuring him the the lava bridge is fine
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[Pats face] "That'll do, Donkey. That'll do." Hahahahah @ Shrek tricking Donkey into completing the bridge by making it too stressful to stay on. Get u a friend who will force u to face ur fears when necessary
"So where is this fire-breathing, pain-in-the-neck anyway?" "Inside, waiting for us to rescue her." Donkey and Shrek said, about both of their future spouses
"Fear's a sensible response to an unfamiliar situation." Donkey provides some fair emotionally-intelligent commentary
"Of course you're a girl dragon, 'cause you're just reeking of feminine beauty." What a compliment!!
"You should sweep me off my feet, out yonder window an down a rope onto your valiant steed." "You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?" "Mhmm." Fiona is so sweet with dreams of romance haha, at least Shrek recognizes that
"Well, I have to save my ass." HAHAHA they said u can use one ass word, as a treat
Donkey is actually incredibly good at communicating his needs to Lady Dragon. Also how do they go from running away from her to her and Donkey having kids hahaha
"Say there's a woman that digs you, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to crisp and eaten?" I want to know more about the DonkeyDragon love story
"You're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad," said Fiona, with absolutely zero knowledge of who he was
"That's Throwback, the only Ogre to ever spit over three wheat fields." This Ogre constellation story does beg the question of where all the other Ogres are hanging
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"Look I'm not the one with the problem, okay. It's the world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go, 'Ahhhh, help, run, a big stupid ugly ogre.' They judge me before they even know me." Awww, Shrek
Donkey and Shrek's friendship has genuine emotional depth lol
Why does Lord Farquaad look under his sheets while staring at Fiona like that jkhghjgg. This is a children's movie!
How did Fiona even get food while in the tower??? Did she have to keep singing nearby birds to death, or did they have some kind of carrier pigeon delivery
I do not remember Robin Hood being French jghjkhgjg
"I like an honest fight and a saucy little maid." "What he's basically saying is he likes to get... paid." The adult jokes continue
I ALSO DID NOT RECALL FIONA KICKING ALL OF THE MERRY MEN'S ASSES LMAO:
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Hahahaha Fiona and Shrek are so sweet with their fly cotton candy and amiphibian/reptile balloons
"Now, I don't mean to brag, but I make a MEAN weed rat stew." AND Shrek can cook. Entirely self-sufficient and thoughtful man
I also like that they've returned to the sunflower field of the Onion-Ogre debate
"By night one way, by day another. This shall be the norm. Until you find true love's first kiss, and then take love's true form." You know, I have always found it so bizarre the Fiona ends the story as an Ogre, because she is naturally a human, and whether she's a human or Ogre is irrelevant to her and Shrek being in love. But I guess the answer is in the curse, because the form of her true love is an Ogre, so I guess after breaking the spell, she becomes whatever version of a person she fell in love with? It's like the Little Mermaid but if Eric was an Ogre
"I thought you might like [the sunflower] because you're pretty." SHREKKKKKK
"Princess and Ugly don't go together." Fiona looks fine actually, just like a normal person with wide features LOL. I bet there are a bunch of people with Ogre-Fiona features
"Who could ever love a hideous, ugly beast." "I thought that wouldn't matter to you." "Well, it does!" JUST COMMUNICATE
RIP the Donkey and Shrek friendship breakup
HAHAHAH @ THEM CUTTING OUT THE LYRIC "MAYBE THERE'S A GOD ABOVE." Shrek a canonical atheist?
DRAGON AND DONKEY CAME TOGETHER OUT OF THEIR FUNDAMENTAL DESIRE FOR COMPANIONSHIP. GOOD FOR THEM!!
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"Can you forgive me?" "Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" Donkey being the number one communicator out of every character in this movie LMAO
"No one likes a kiss-ass." Ass count: 3. They can't keep getting away with this hahahhaa
"Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you, but really, showing up to a wedding!" This is the inner monologue of social anxiety
WOW @ FARQUAAD GETTING EATEN ALIVE BY THE DRAGON. REST IN PIECES
I did spare a moment to think of the legalities of Fiona being married to Farquaad but with his death I suppose she becomes a window of the world's shortest marriage (no pun intended)
Also who is in charge of Duloc now? Fiona? Did Farquaad have an heir? They're really abandoning this lordship LMAO
"I don't understand. I'm supposed to be beautiful." "You are beautiful." Like Grease, the moral of the story is that it's okay to change for a man as long as the man learns to communicate his feelings and rides off into the sunset with you to a sickass soundtrack
(I'll go to bat for Danny also changing tho. I don't know if Shrek changed all that much in this first movie, but he did become more personable. He had so many wedding guests!)
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I would like to 1) Examine the continuity of the Three Blind Mice being both the carriage horses and coachman as well as in Donkey's musical number and 2) Examine the disability representation in Shrek. Started off questionably, but arguably ended well in this movie? LMAO
Onto: Shrek 2
I love how the narration for each opening also serves as a character introduction (Shrek for the first movie, Charming for the second)
"Princess... Fiona?" said Charming to Big Bad Wolf, uncertain if it was a furry-adjacent curse
Hansel's Honeymoon Hideaway is a fun little location
I wonder just how many movies and shows in the early-2000s parodied the Spiderman kiss
"I don't know, [Dragon]'s been all moody and stuff lately." Hahahah, foreshadowing the dragon pregnancy
Reggie the Announcer's Solo also implies the existence of Hawaii 5-0 in the Shrek universe
Gjkghgjkhg I'd ask what kind of parents miss their only daughter's wedding, but I suppose it's the same kind of parents who lock their daughter in a tower
"And who says I want to be a part of this family?" "Uh, you did! When you married me!" Men really do be like this sometimes
"It's gonna be champagne wishes and caviar dreams from now on." Donkey is experiencing being a friend to royalty for the first time LOL
Mr. and Mrs. Far Far Away have apparently not heard tell of the Ogre Marriage of Their Daughter
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"They're my parents." "Hello? They locked you in a tower." "That was for my own—" "Good. Now here's our chance." I looove the way this dialogue flows into each other, it's a very fun storytelling technique
"I suppose any granchildren I could expect from you would be..." "Ogres, yes." That's a lot of prejudice for someone who's a part-time frog, Harold
HAHAHAHA @ them having a cameo of Prince Charles, who is now King, to the line, "The kind of gal the Prince would date."
Shout out the Bichon puppy, who has nothing to do with any of this
"Whether your parents like it or not, I am an Ogre. And guess what, Princess? That's not about to change." "I've made changes for you, Shrek. Think about that." That's what I'm saying! Fiona gives up the species she was born to, to be with Shrek. Why does she need to be an Ogre? Does she want to, or is it just be with Shrek? Or is because of the spell? Explain to me why she didn't get any agency over who she was, physically
"Fiona does, and she'll never forgive you if you don't [give your blessing]. I don't want to lose our daughter again, Harold." Shout-out Lillian for being a very accepting parent
If the Fairy Godmother and Harold had already arranged a marriage, surely they could've just announced it instead of playing all these games. Fiona was willing to marry Lord Farquaad, she can't be that hard to please
Harold and Lillian's first kiss by the lilypond and the Lady Frog saying, "Do I know you?" are truly the foreshadowing I did not know of the first time I watched these movies
Like Fiona, Doris The Ugly Stepsister is actually a normal woman who is called Ugly for having features that are more wide or perceived as more masculine. People act like there is something crazy disproportionate or out of the norm of how they look (green skin for Fiona aside.) Justice for both of them:
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I fully forgot that Puss in Boots is introduced as Antonio Banderas's disembodied voice agreeing to assassinate Shrek
Not the portrait of Sir Justin Timberlake hahahahah
Awwww Fiona was mimicking the words of her childhood doll when she gave Shrek her hankerchief in the first movie!!
SCREAM @ the Chastity Belt World Tour. Who is that a parody of
"Dad. We both acted like Ogres. Maybe we just need some time to get to know each other." Shrek is extended an olive branch while Harold is extending an Assassin Cat
"I say we take the sword and neuter him right here. Give him the Bob Barker treatment." This is a reference I had to google, but apparently, founded an organizatoin and spent millions on neutering animals. ALSO, he died three weeks ago???? How many Shrek-adjacent deaths have there been in the past month
"Come on Shrek, don't feel bad. Almost everyone that means you wants to kill you." Hahahaha harsh but true
"It's not like I wouldn't change if I could. I just, I wish I could make her happy." Fnally, some reciprocity on the changing
"On my honour, I am obliged to accompany you until I have saved your life, as you have spared mine." "Sorry, the position of annoying talking animal has already been taken." Very self-aware of Donkey to say so
I love everything about Puss in Boots, the purrfect character:
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Love that Shrek and Fiona have each adopted their own new animal friends in each other's absence
"Be sure and use small words, dear. He's a little slow this morning." Hahahaha Lillian politely calling Harold stupid
"Why don't we just pop in there for spell?" I love Shrek's consistent habit of making jokes about whatever new place he's in
"We represent the workers in all magical industries, both evil and benign. Are you feeling at all degraded or depressed?" "Uh... a little. We don't even have dental." I know it's a bit but I choose to believe that Shrek is pro-union
In this world of Fairy Tales, does it imply that Cinderella and Snow White's stories are non-fiction biographies?
Shout-out to the Helpers of Species Unknown and the employee of the month, Theo:
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I did wonder for a moment, as Puss in Boots stared at the Happily Ever After potion, if he was not going to be able to read
"But you love being an Ogre!" "I know. But I love Fiona more!" Awwww Shrek
"A cute button nose?" Wild how Shrek's nose as a human is not that different from Fiona's nose as an ogre but it's fine for him because he's a man. Something something gendered beauty standards
"I'll be true... enough." Hahahaha, the ladies are fun
"Someday I will repay you. Unless, of course, I can't find you, or if I forget." Hahahaha Shrek being very relatable
"What happened to your voice?" "The potion changed a lot of things, Fiona." Prince Charming claims the beauty standard includes not having a Scottish accent (he is wrong)
"She's a princess, and you're an Ogre. That's something no amount of potion is ever going to change." Except it literally did change Shrek into a human LOL and if they wanted the potion to be permanent on Fiona, the Charmings do need Shrek to kiss her
"I hate Mondays." Yet another pop culture reference
"She loves that... Pretty Boy, Prince Charming," said Shrek, as if it had not been canonically established that human Shrek is very handsome
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Shrek and Donkey and Puss all attending the nightly Unhappy Hour hahahaha
"You can't force someone to fall in love." "I beg to differ. I do it all the time!" Sinister of the Fairy Godmother to say
Not the Donkey calling out against police brutality and the Puss getting charged with possession of catnip. Feels a little targeted lmao
Shrek being willing to step aside if it's Fiona's choice to leave him but ready to intervene if he know she's being pushed into it ❤️
Joan Rivers the Cartoon is also yet another early 2000s reference.
"That's not my husband," said Fiona, in an unparalleled act of intuition
"Well folks, it looks like we're up chocolate creek without a popsicle stick." I LOVE idioms translated to new circumstances kjhgkjhg
Mongo the Giant Gingerbread wanting the big Farbucks cup. He's so cute!!
Shout-out Shrek 2 for some of the best jukebox musical integration since Ella Enchanted (which, apparently only predates this movie by like two weeks hahaha)
Also shout-out Mongo for literally laying down life and limb for the cause:
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Harold redeeming himself from trying to trick his daughter into marriage by taking a magical bullet for her
Also if the magic reflects back on Fairy Godmother to burst her into bubbles, why does it also work on Harold to turn him into a frog? Riddle me that magical logic
"I just wish I could be the man you deserve." "You're more that man today than you ever were. Warts and all." Bold of Lillian to be cool with being married to a frog
"I want what any princess wants. To live happily ever after with the Ogre I married." I once again do not understand why Fiona HAS to be an Ogre to be with Shrek, given that is not what her heritage is, and the being an Ogre was a spell just like this one, but if she wants to choose Ogre life, good for her!
Awwww Donkey is so happy to be a dad to these weird little children:
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casspurrjoybell-31 · 5 months
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The Consort - Chapter 28 - Part 2
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*Warning Adult Content*
Finn
"What do you need me to do?" I whisper hesitantly.
Brayden and Kelly exchange a glance and Kelly nods for Brayden, as if requesting that he be the one to tell me the plan.
"I need you to use her only weakness against her," Brayden answers evenly.
I raise a brow.
"Which is?"
"Kelly. The human version of him," Brayden responds.
"What do you mean?"
There's a beat of silence and Brayden leans forward, staring at me from under a hooded gaze.
"You are going to tell Kelly everything you remember from his and Fiona's relationship. He will then pretend that he is remembering those pieces when he interacts with her, giving her the illusion that he's still the same man she fell in love with."
I stare back at them, agape with horror.
"I... I can't do that," I sputter.
"That's going way too far. She'll... "
"Fall in love with me again," Kelly says, cutting me off.
Unlike Brayden, however, his voice is lined with emotion.
It sounds like hope.
The two of them stare at me again and I fidget under their gazes.
They're not just asking me to lie to my friend.
They're asking me to lie to the point that she could abandon her current morals and be shunned from human society.
"She'll never forgive me," I say, and I can hear the panic rising up my throat.
"Perhaps," Brayden whispers.
"But if she finds herself falling in love with Kelly once again, that tells me she never stopped loving him to begin with."
I grimace.
"I guess..."
"Love is a powerful emotion, human. Or so I'm told," Brayden comments with a wry grin.
"Don't look at this as us tricking her into love. It's not. We're simply trying to protect you both."
Protection.
It seems like a far-fetched word, especially in the current state of war.
I know Brayden's reasoning to keep my safe.
What reason does he have to protect Fiona, though?
My eyes flicker between the immortals, and the two of them stare down at me from their high-backed chairs.
The answer to my silent question comes to surface.
Kelly has and will continue to provide protection to me under Brayden's orders... but only with payment.
At first it was bags of blood but now that Kelly has had a live feeding, he doesn't want to go back.
Brayden is saving Fiona as payment to keep me safe.
A few tension-filled moments are engulfed by the flames licking away the shadows on the wall.
Kelly stands from his chair and glances towards the staircase.
"Excuse me," he mutters.
"It's time I check on her."
His light footsteps click out of the living room, across the foyer and up the stairs.
Brayden rolls his shoulders and turns his gaze to the fire.
The bright flames make him appear paler than normal.
His muddy red eyes seem to glow against their heat.
"I need to ask another favor of you as well, human," he murmurs.
A crimson blush rises to my cheeks when he shifts his eyes to meet mine.
He caught me staring at him, like always.
"Alright," I say.
"And what's that?"
"I need two bags of your blood."
My eyes widen.
"What?"
"I said we'd be leaving tomorrow night," Brayden explains.
"But I have yet to find us a safe destination. I need to travel tonight and into tomorrow morning."
"You need to bed fed while you're away?"
He nods a single time.
"It will be a strenuous journey," he explains.
"I don't want to allow myself to become weakened if I'm traveling alone."
The admission of his plan makes my stomach sink.
Brayden is probably the most capable ma, immortal or not.
Now that he has my blood flowing through his veins, he's nearly indestructible as well.
The thought of being away from him and in harm's way, however, doesn't sit well with me.
"You can't take me with you?" I ask, trying to hide the concern in my voice.
"Or Kelly?"
"It's far too dangerous, human. And Kelly needs to remain here to protect you and the woman."
"But you saw what happened to Axel," I argue.
"If any vampire tries to get a hold of me and drink from me, they'll die."
Brayden nods.
"And what do you think will happen once they realize your blood is even more toxic than that flowing in their own heart?"
I swallow hard.
"But you said not many vampires can resist my blood..."
"True again."
Brayden gestures down his body.
"But do you see me right now, human? I am restraining myself. Unlike the rest of them, I have actually tasted your blood. It's addicting and its scent doesn't do the taste justice."
I raise a brow, wondering where he's going with this.
Brayden narrows his eyes.
"You're right, human. Most vampires won't be able to help themselves. But there are others out there who will. And when they find out the truth about your blood..."
"They'll kidnap me," I whisper in fear.
"Perhaps, human," Brayden murmurs.
"Or worse... they'll kill you."
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Hey, love your blog! Are there any gallavich aus where the Gallaghers are prominent characters, but they're not the villains of the story? Too many times people use Lip or Fiona as the bad guy, or leave the Gallagher siblings out of the fic completely, and I was wondering if there was anything closer to how they act in canon.
It’s honestly my pet peeve when they’re used as bad guys. I know stories and fanfiction need villains but oh gosh! I find them in canon more often just caught up in their own issues than purposefully unaware.
The New Year The Gallaghers adjust to Mickey's abrupt return into their lives.
Joy of Rediscovering You After Ian's recent diagnosis he leaves a heartbroken Mickey on the Gallagher front lawn. Months later, the two avoid each other as much as possible in a city where fate keep them close by, but life has a funny way of bringing them together. Season 6 fix it.
the space between my fingers “That’s our neighbours Kev and Vee, that’s my sister Fiona, that’s my brother Ian, and, uh - that’s Mickey.”
His Fucking Family Fuck it, he’s had enough of this emotional crap for one day. There’s only so much a guy can damn well take. Especially a fucking Milkovich. But dammit, he’s spent enough time wallowing alone in his own misery to know how much it fucking sucks
Feeling Sun (I'm No Longer One) It's summer in Chicago, and Carl Gallagher is finally released from prison. His brothers pick him up in the fancy car that Lip has stolen – no, borrowed – from his professor, and life would be good, if not for the fact that Ian and Lip are both distracted and weighed down by their regrets about past mistakes, about unfinished business, about friends and lovers lost.
Reward Mickey is living his happy ending. It’s unsettling. And there are so many Gallaghers. Just so, so many.
to stop our hearts from drowning Mickey gets out of prison six months after being arrested for a crime he didn't actually commit. Things are going... well, they're going. Until he runs into Ian.
Redheaded Stepchildren A story about Debbie and Ian's relationship over the six months following the end of Season 4 (Warning: Lip isn’t the nicest in this bit I do still really enjoy it because of how canon it feels, the use of the rest of the Gallaghers, and Lip’s eventual growth.)
Once a Gallagher Once a Gallagher, always a Gallagher. Mickey may not know it yet, but damn, he's fucking family.
Our Stubborn Love In which, after years of being separated by more than just prison walls, Ian and Mickey try to find their way back to each other.
We Protect Our Own Mickey knows what it's like to have such a shit dad and knows it's difficult to deal with them. Whenever Frank decides to show his face, Mickey can't help but step up for his new family.
i didn’t ask for your blessing, but i’ll take it The Gallaghers know about Lip moving to Milwaukee and Ian and Mickey getting engaged. Lip offers Mickey his support with the wedding.
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honesthearts · 4 years
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otp question meme
tagged by @f0xyboxes thank you!!!
tagging @chyrstis @bioshocking @jmcolt @himbopike @callmeredhood @deandomino @bimollymauks @yennas @fadedjacket
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DISAGREEMENTS.
Who is more likely to raise their voice?
both tbh.
Who threatens to leave but never actually does?
neither.
Who actually keeps their word and leaves? 
neither.
Who trashes the house? 
both, but mostly cass.
Do either of them get physical?
not in the way this means.
How often do they argue/disagree? 
it’s rare when they do, but when it happens it’s usually because of cassandra's reckless nature that puts her in dangerous situations.
Who is the first to apologize? 
john because he can't stand not talking to her. cass can hold a grudge so there’s no way she’ll be the first one to do it.
SEX.
Who is on top? Who is on bottom? 
they like to switch.
Any kinks?
yes. 😏
Who has the strangest desires? 
neither.
Who’s dominant in bed? 
they both are.
Is head ever in the equation?
of course.
If so, who is better at performing it?
 they're both pretty good at it.
Ever had sex in public? 
a few times, but they were never caught.
Who moans the most?
let's just say the guards at the ranch can't look both of them in the eye the next morning.
Who leaves the most marks? 
both.
Who is the more experienced of the two? 
they both are, but i'd say john is more experienced.
Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? 
in the beginning it was just fucking, but when things started to change between them, so did the way they're intimate.
How long do they usually last? 
depends if they're busy or not.
Rough or soft? 
both.
Is protection used? 
no...
Does it ever get boring? 
never! even if it’s vanilla sex, they're way too into each other to feel bored.
Where is the strangest place they’d have sex? 
they had sex in that water tower in falls end...... during the night.
FAMILY.
Do they plan on having children/or have children? 
they always wanted to start a family but never found the right person. until they met each other of course.
If so, how many children do they want/have? 
they end up having 3 kids - twins (robin and matt) and a daughter (naomi).
AFFECTION.
Who likes to cuddle? 
they both do tbh.
Who gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? 
JOHN.
Who struggles to keep their hands to themself?
john! he’ll hold her hand, put his arm around her, or place his hand on her inner thigh.
How long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? 
they're both touch starved, they would cuddle all day if they could.
What is their favourite non-sexual activity?
watching movies! and taking baths together.
Where is their favourite place to cuddle? 
on the couch, watching movies 😔
SLEEPING.
Who snores? 
john, but he denies it...
If both do, who snores the loudest?
Do they share a bed or sleep separately? 
they share a bed.
If they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart?
they always cozy up! john is a big cuddler and always pull cass closer to him.
What do they wear to bed? 
if it's hot they'll sleep in their underwear. when it's not, cass wears one of his shirts and john sleeps in shirt and sweatpants.
Are either of them insomniacs? 
nope.
Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? 
no.
Do they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? 
they wrap their limbs around each other.
Who wakes up with bed hair? 
both, but cass's is worse because she has curly hair.
Who wakes up first? 
john. he's an early riser, he's used to it. cass on the other hand hates waking up early and needs at least 30 minutes before she can get out of bed.
Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other?
they eat breakfast in the kitchen. john doesn't like crumbs in bed adfgshdhs
What is their favourite sleeping position?
bedtime starts with them wrapped in each other, but after they fall asleep they move away giving each other space.
Do they set an alarm each night? 
john is the alarm.
Who has nightmares? 
both, john more than cass.
Can a television be found in their bedroom? 
yes.
Who has ridiculous dreams? 
cass, and she tells john all about them.
Who sprawls out and takes up most of the bed?
cassandra.
Who makes the bed? 
john.
What time is bed time? 
11 or 12 pm.
Any routines/rituals before bed? 
cass likes to listen to some music, while john reads a book.
Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? 
CASS.
WORK.
Who is the busiest? 
both tbh.
Who rakes in the highest income? 
neither? its not like they get a paycheck.
Are any of them unemployed? 
officialy? yes. but not really, since they have their jobs in EG.
Who takes the most sick days? 
neither.
What are their jobs? 
john is a herald for eden’s gate - his job is to baptise and take confessions from new members. cassandra is a former deputy, who has fighting against the cult before she joined. once she joins she leads patrols in holland valley and later on starts performing baptisms.
Who sucks up to their boss? 
neither.
Who is more likely to turn up late to work? 
neither.
Who stresses the most? 
john. he’s pretty detail-oriented so he tends to stress over the little things.
Do they enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? 
yes. cass hated being a deputy, she prefers what she's doing now.
Are they financially stable? 
yes.
HOME.
Who does the washing? 
cass.
Who takes out the trash? 
the peggies....
Who does the ironing? 
john.
Who does the cooking? 
john. cass can't cook for her life.
Who is more likely to burn the house down just trying? 
CASS.
Who is messier? 
cass.
Who leaves the toilet roll empty? 
neither.
Who leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? 
cass.
Who forgets to flush the toilet? 
neither.
Who loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? 
cass, usually.
Who answers the telephone? 
mostly john.
Who mows the lawn? 
the peggies do that.
Who does the vacuuming? 
sometimes its john, sometimes its cass.
Who does the groceries? 
they don't really have to.
Who takes the longest to shower? 
they usually shower together 'to save water'. but if they're taking a shower alone, cass takes longer.
Who spends the most time in the bathroom?
JOHN. his hair has to be perfect.
MISCELLANEOUS.
Is money a problem?
not really.
How many cars do they own? 
they each have their own car.
What’s their song? 
fiona apple - on the bound
hozier - nobody
florence + the machine - bedroom hymns
Do they live in the city or in the country? 
country.
Do they own their home or do they rent? 
they own their home.
Do they enjoy their surroundings? 
absolutely! hope county is beautiful and the perfect place to settle down.
What do they do when they’re away from each other? 
work usually.
Where did they first meet? 
the night of joseph's failed arrest.
Who spends the most money when out shopping? 
JOHN.
Who’s more likely to flash their assets? 
john tbh.
Any mental issues? 
john obviously has ptsd from his childhood. cassandra has anxiety and depression. but out of the two, john is definitely worse.
Who finds it amusing when the other trips over?
cass. specially if it's in public, john gets a little flustered.
Who’s terrified of bugs?
john is more disgusted by them than terrified.
Who kills the spiders around the house? 
cass.
Do they have any fears for their future? 
yes, but they make it work.
Their favourite place? 
their porch! they like to watch the sunset.
Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? 
john.
Who pays the bills? 
john.
Who’s the tallest? 
they're the same height.
Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? 
both do that when the other is in the shower.
Who wanders around in their underwear? 
both.
Who sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? 
CASS.
What do they tease each other about? 
even after YEARS of them being together john loves that he can still make her blush and teases her about it. cass teases him for being a 'city boy'. all in good fun.
Who is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? 
cass used to make fun of his vest but it grew on her.
Who crushed first? 
john.
Any alcohol or substance related problems?
they both had issues with drugs and alcohol in the past.
Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? 
neither.
Who swears the most? 
cass.
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casspurrjoybell-31 · 5 months
Text
The Consort - Chapter 26 - Part 1
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*Warning Adult Content*
Finn
"We can't stay here for much longer," Kelly says.
I load my plate up with another helping of cheese, fruit and French bread.
The platter of softened butter has found a permanent home next to my plate and I swipe up my knife to generously add a layer to the bread.
Fiona watches me from across the table in silence.
A single cracker and slice of cheese lay next to one another on her plate, both of them as untouched as when Kelly served them to her.
She shifts in her chair and glances at Brayden.
I think he terrifies her.
"We've been keeping a close eye on Leo's group," Kelly continues when no one responds.
"To put it lightly, they feel the act of retrieving Fiona was an act of war, one they would like to rectify."
Fiona's focus shifts to Kelly and their eyes lock.
The hunger in Kelly's gaze is palpable.
Fiona must notice it too because she quickly looks away with a blush deep enough to light a small town.
It's not the first time Kelly has looked at her like this.
When he was human, every time their eyes locked you could feel the love coursing between them.
But now he's immortal and to Fiona, that makes all the difference in the world.
"You think they're trying to find a way to get Fiona back?" I ask through a mouthful of bread.
Kelly grudgingly tears his eyes away from Fiona's delicate features and shakes his head.
"Not quite. If they can get Fiona back, that will just be a bonus. But it's not their main mission."
"What is?" I ask with a sinking suspicion that I already know the answer.
"To capture you, Finn."
I swallow down the bite of bread crust, its corners jabbing me on its way down my throat.
This shouldn't come as a surprise.
I'm sure word got around Leo's camp that it was me who saved Fiona.
Besides, I'm a Nirv. That alone is a strike against me.
The fact that I saved Fiona?
Strike two.
The added perk that one of their leaders allowed me to escape in order for me to save Fiona?
A definite strike three.
I pick at the bread in my hand.
I know I shouldn't care what happens to Leo but I find myself stifling down guilt for the possibility of him being punished because he let me escape too.
Is he now Mark's captive?
Or did he find a way to explain himself?
The latter seems more likely and my guilt turns to apprehension realizing he's probably the one leading the rebellion towards us.
"So what's the plan?" I ask.
"We will leave tomorrow night," Brayden answers.
His voice is always quiet and yet it commands the attention of all us.
It seems I'm not the only one who's susceptible to his confidence and dominating presence.
Kelly leans in to hear Brayden's plan.
Even Fiona's posture straightens as she waits for him to elaborate.
"They're trying to locate us through the immortal detectors," Brayden explains.
"And they're getting closer every day. I would give it another two days before they're at my doorstop."
"Yeah but when that day comes, I'd much prefer not to give them the satisfaction of being here," Kelly adds dryly.
Brayden nods and his red eyes zero in on me.
"My sentiments precisely."
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