#what tf to make of my rambling about it and all the like fandom culture references within

[gilliebee]

nine (9) people you'd like to know better

I got tagged by the wonderful @five4boarding and tumblr never gives me a little +1 notification icon when I get tagged in anything (like any other type of note would, so I don’t get it!!), so I live in fear that I’m always gonna miss these BUT I caught this one at least 👉😎👉

Last song: during my morning walk I randomly remembered the catchiest depression bop and then remembered the first time I looked up the guy's wiki and saw that he played hockey and I was like you're telling me a knife-footed ice-gremlin sang this???? (swiss juniors but still high level for his age bracket I think?) Anyway... Tomorrow May Not Be Better (specifically this version https://open.spotify.com/track/0V1quXmlVC6eH5kcfYPWEW ) by Bastian Baker still slaps to this very day 😌👌

Currently watching: My longstanding guilty pleasure is docs/commentary videos about any and all scams, particularly mlms/pyramid schemes. So it should come as no surprise that my brand new guilty pleasure is debt confessions/financial audits on youtube 🙈 I've been been watching a few by caleb hammer whose gimmick is that he gordon ramsey style shames people who come in with their financial records and he's like hey. why do you have $120,000 in consumer debt? why did you finance an ipad for your literal infant child?? why have you spent 30 dollars multiple times a day every day at dunkin for the last 3 months??? (the last one is an exaggeration but the first two I have seen LOL). His thumbnails are wretched I hate them so, so much, and his advice of living spartan-like for a few years to dig yourself out of the hole is ehhh maybe good in theory but generally not exactly...practical. And I think going cold turkey when you're used to constant impulse buying is basically a recipe for just eventually losing control and going on a bender. But. I'm nosy and love hearing about how people be spending their money so that's the best part of the videos for me lol

Currently reading: haven't picked up something new yet BUT I juuuust finished An Unauthorised Fan Treatise which was SO GOOD I literally slammed it nonstop for two days until I finished it. It's formatted like a rpf conspiracy theory livejournal where a fangirl of a supernatural-drama show compiles evidence that the two lead actors are secretly dating. BUT it's noted that the livejournal has been submitted as evidence into for a murder trial so y'know TWISTS AND TURNS lol. There's just something about the format that really compels me, idk I already love reading primers and conspiracies for hrpf couples that I literally have zero investment in and never will- I just enjoy the way the girlies spin a good narrative. (and also watching video essays about the uhhh less casual to super trainwreck ones like the whole larry fiasco even though I never got into 1D, as well as general fandom fiascos like msscribe and snapewives etc etc IT'S ALL SO FASCINATING TO ME 🍿👀) So it was a really natural fit for me to read in a fictional setting. And it's free to read! https://gottiewrites.com/2019/10/14/31/

Current obsession: I’m a hobbyist game maker so at all times I am rotating little bits of character development, experimental mechanics, aesthetics, ui design etc etc in my brain but it becomes much more mentally consuming during the off-season bc god knows when bruins hockey is live it is Featured Live 24/7 In My Brain. But for now... my OCs on my mind 😌💭

tagging (if you want to): OH NO I’M SO BASHFUL I NEVER KNOW WHO TO TAG IN THESE 🫣🫣🫣 uh uh uhh maybe @ghostgeno @alavenderleaf @tylerbertuzzi @reavenedges-lies @krugstrash if y’all are so inclined?? but also no pressure no pressure again I’m just NOSY hehe

#my main communication style is RAMBLING lol #also I didn't tag 9 people because I guess I'm just a rebel rule breaker #this was a great excuse to rant about an unauthorized fan treatise which has been on my mind after finishing it but like my bf didn't know #what tf to make of my rambling about it and all the like fandom culture references within #hopefully this is formatted correctly and hopefully none of the original words accidentally got left in when I copy-pasted that would be #very embarrassing

[mggsttn]

"I'd like to poke the void."

This is a phrase that my fandom bestie and I came up with a little while back.

Now for context: I am 25, neurospicy, an introvert and didn't go to college. My bestie (we'll call her Este) on the other hand is 24, an extrovert, and went to school for dramaturgy*. (We're both theater kids, became friends because we're both fans of 5SOS and unlike a percentage of most fandoms WE ARE SELF AWARE, HAVE TOUCHED GRASS AND RESPECT OUR IDOLS AND REALIZE THAT THEY ARE HUMAN BEINGS.) I digress.

Over the years we've gone down COUNTLESS rabbit holes, analyzed and overanalyzed lyrics and MV's and had many, MANY discussions on the inner workings of fan culture. These conversations often start with a random, weird ass question like:

"Why TF is Luke drinking a GALLON OF MILK in the Motion MV??"

Or me rambling about the Cinematic Universe that Stray Kids has through out their MV's and losing my shit over the chronological timeline and how it relates to the storyline.

Or her talking about the names in the Hunger Games and why they were chosen.

The conclusion to these were:

"Luke is portraying a sense of innocence in the MV. We often associate drinking milk with children (we can all probably remember a parent telling us to drink milk so we grow up big and strong!) By showing him drinking milk it's relating him back to that innocence."

Her giving me a crash course in the types of storytelling including chronological and basket weaving ST. And giving explanations on how prequels and sequels work in context to a story, etc. (I have the notes somewhere, yes I took actual notes. This is all paraphrased off of memory.)

And I don't remember the conclusion for the names, but she did point out that it was odd for the Capitol to choose these kinds of names.

All that to say: we have hour long, in depth discussions about things that seem pointless out of context.

Going back to "I'd like to poke the void."

As i was writing this I snapped her asking for examples of "void pokes" we've done and she ended up giving me the perfect definition for this phrase.

“I need to rant and ask questions, please play devils advocate if you feel so inclined.”

In grade school and high school I was definitely seen as the weird kid because I would be obsessed with different things and just know a lot of random facts and reasons for things. As I've grown up I've definitely learned to embrace that more and find other people who don't just accept my obsessions but they GET them and encourage them. Even if Este has NO IDEA what I'm talking about (insert tangent about the use of the phrase "take off" in these specific SKZ MV's) she'll still listen and be a person that I can do critical thinking with and who will challenge my ideas and make me stand for them or alter them as needed.

In short, be a fangirl. Find your Este. Learn lots of stuff about lots of things. And never stop poking the void.

*Dramaturgy is a sociological perspective on identity that employs a theatrical metaphor to explore issues of identity formation and reformation. As such, dramaturgy assumes a place, a moment, and an audience to whom the identity is being presented.

#fangirl #straykids #5sos #kpop #bl series

[gogysglasses-archive]

Ramble anon here back at it again with a long one!! So, as anyone in the mcyt fandom can pretty much agree, the internet can be a really great place for making friends. We see this in the ccs we watch but also in the fandom community itself!! I really admire the dream team friendship especially because it reminds me a lot of what friendships I myself have been able to make online because of minecraft. I used to play on a smaller server from early 2017 up until late 2020 and met a lot of people who have changed my life that im still in contact with now while playing!! (ive even traveled across the country to meet one of them!) I just think the dream team is a great example of how real friendships online can be. (Idk how common the mindset of “people you meet on the internet can’t be your friends” is anymore, but when I was first starting to connect online that’s what my parents were preaching, this mindset may have changed more within the past half decade or so) also, the fact that Sapnap and Dream met each other when they were preteens is also really interesting/cool to me! a friendship that lasts that long is sure to last a lifetime, and I’m really happy for them all, George included!! Speaking of George, I sympathize heavily with him not being able to go visit his friends. I was in a relationship for almost two years with one of my online friends and I only got to see them twice irl during that time, the first time having to wait til during our 8th month anniversary! I can’t imagine knowing people you consider to be your best friends for almost 5 years and not being able to see them irl because of a pandemic :(( I’m just so glad that they’ve chosen to share their friendship with us all because it really is something truly special. What we see is only a small snippet of their interactions as a whole but we can still tell that they all love and care deeply about each other and want to see each other succeed. When the restrictions lessen, I am excited to see them all (responsibly) meet up and complete the dream team trio irl !! (And also get Sapnap and George to finally stop bickering about their height. though, the shorter will probably find a way to accuse the eventually-proven taller one of the two to be rigging the measurement or something /lh)

hello ramble anon! prepare for a ramble response!

that is SO cool that you’ve made such good friends online, i’m very jealous. Traveling to meet your online friend must have been such a cool experience. I have a similar experience of when i was younger, like i remember having entire assemblies in elementary school about online safety and not talking to strangers. (which is important don’t get me wrong) but no one ever talks about the benefit of meeting people online! I’ve met a few people here and there online but it’s nothing compared to what the dteam has. it’s kinda weird cuz i’ve always been involved in fandom culture on the sidelines but this is the first fandom i have actively participated in, and like talked to people in haha. I’m stilling figuring out how to make fandom friends (where tf are you guys finding servers to join that aren’t full of small children?) but it’s so cool to see how many people have met because of mcyt!!

I’m in such awe of the dream team and their friendship, i think that’s why so many people are invested in them is because we love their friendship so much! Sapnap and Dream meeting when they were 12/13 online and now they’re living together has got to be the coolest fucking thing ever and it makes me so so so happy for them. You’re right, it does break my heart that george can’t live with them yet but he will one day. For now we just have to live with the angst of george being sad he can’t be with his best friends :’( what they have is really cool and i agree with you, i’m so glad they’ve shared even just a snippet of it with us. Once the pandemic is over they’re gonna have so much fun, and i’m so excited for them to go and do things and vlog it and just be best friends it’ll be amazing. also, i have a feeling george and sapnap will be almost exactly the same height, and they will never shut up about it. it’ll be about who’s hair is bigger or who is wearing what shoes that day. and dream will tower over both of them.

#can you tell i love the dteam? #just so so much? #they’re some of my favorite people <3 #ramble anon #ask tag #long post

[black-mesa-slut-voice]

Dear goodness please don’t make me make a dni list. I.. usually don’t much care who interacts with me but I’m seeing some weird shit in my notes!!!

Ugh. Okay whatever I’m cool on most things but here’s some stuff:

-Im a non-binary lesbian. I use they/she. I’m probably somewhere on a weird grey/asexuality spectrum I haven’t figured out yet

-kinnies are valid. It’s all fun and cool man

-I’m queer, and I respect you if you don’t want to use that word or be called it, and won’t call you it without your permission, but it’s still our word. Some of us use it. and if you think people reclaiming it is bad then I’m sorry bro. I’m out here living my best life lovin myself and I don’t wanna make u uncomfy

-I support mogai and people calling themselves whatever sexualities and shit they want. Labels are labels and they’re just for personal comfort and you gotta love yourself. Literally what is wrong with calling yourself anything as long as ur not hurting anyone? As long as it makes u feel good that’s what matters.

-Ace, pan, and trans pals, you’re welcome here. If you don’t support ace, pan and trans people I’m sorry you have a stick up ur ass u should get it checked out (obv I don’t include like. Pedophiles and shit. Incest isn’t a sexuality eugh). Pan isn’t inherently transphobic tf are some of you on about?? Literally one of my best friends is pan and trans wh

-I post GORE and BODY HORROR. YEs I tag things. Yeah I enjoy a lot of other fandoms that aren’t perfect, cus I can consume media critically? When did SU become problematic. Yeah it has its flaws but. It’s a good cartoon for kids w leabians I can enjoy???

(That said, if you dislike certain media for trauma reasons that’s valid and I’ll make sure to tag any other fandom that might work it’s way in here but like. Please. If you think you can’t consume media unless it’s perfect then I’m sorry bro it don’t work like that. Cancel culture is toxic. Enjoy that kinda shitty video game as long as you’re aware of the bad parts. Love urself n have fun)

-I’ve never read homestuck but a bunch of my trusted friends like it so (???). I don’t have any disc horse on that bro I’m neutral. Don’t worry I’ll tag any that might be referenced here It’s valid if u don’t like it ig?? Ya

-dear GOD I hate trump and everything he says. Acab and so is he. No I will not discuss this I thought we were all on the same page here??? Christ

-basically I’m a normal decent human being. I try to be polite and read DNI’s before interacting and holy hell some of y’all........... please........ quarantine really be getting to ya huh

-if u have any questions feel free to shoot an ask I don’t bite

Anyway I’m saying this cus I use tag crawler on my art (sending love to everyone who leaves nice tags), and I usually follow people that way but. Whew.

If any of this makes you’re uncomfortable, you’re welcome to block me if so! In fact, I encourage it, if I in any way make you uncomfortable. I try to be accommodating for everyone but sometimes people just got fundamentally different beliefs yo. Also don’t worry, I really hate drama and shit like this so posts like this will NOT become a regular thing. I just... had to say SOMETHING ykno.

It’s 7:30 am and I haven’t slept so I’m sorry if this is rambly but hot damn y’all. Anyway. back to the regular schedule

#id rather yall not reblog but if you do thats fine ig #please. some of u need a capri sun and a snickers bar

[bluephoenixdruidicprincess]

My 2019 Blog Review

Today's the last day of 2019, so I thought it would be fun to dig through my archive and reflect on my blog activity over the past year. I am doing this on my phone but once I have access to a computer again, I'll put this all under a cut. I just can't do it on my phone.

Jan 2019

- Tumblr's background color changed and apparently I'm the only one who liked the change.

- Kingdom Hearts 3 release -- of course, this was a huge thing in my blog at the time. Afterall, I'd only been waiting 15 years for this game. And while I definitely had problems with the game, it also had some very memorable moments that I loved...like Sora punching Davey Jones (I never ever want to forget that moment).

- I began my adventure of learning Japanese. I'm doing pretty good so far.

- The Mummy (Brendon Fraser) appreciation. Occamshipper apparently doesn't like these movies but I love them. I met some great people because I told occamshipper that whereas they didn't like The Mummy Returns, it is in fact one of my favorite all time movies.

- Lots of rambling about my love for Lucy Heartfilia and the Nalu ship from Fairy Tail.

Feb 2019

- BoA Appreciation. I love K-Pop and BoA is one of my all time favs.

- The Vic Micnogna scandal. Honestly, I don't really care about what's going on with the trial, what bothers me is the stain that was left on Funimation because of it. The voice actors really alienated the fanbase in this scandal and I didn't like that.

- Power Rangers appreciation. I love Power Rangers and unironically, too. My favorite power ranger is Adam from Mighty Morphin.

- Within Temptation's new Resist Album dropped and I loved it. I love these epic stories they tell with their albums and the vibes they give.

- I watched the Mythica franchise and my appreciation affair for Zombie Girl began.

- Ronon/Keller appreciation. I loved this pairing so much and I'm super sad the show never did more with them.

- Legacies Reviews. Apparently people find me funny? I have a sense of humor that people enjoy?

Mar 2019

- Emily Bett Rickards revealed she would not be on Arrow for its final season. I was really depressed a out that and I got a lot of hate from comic book fans for daring to say that I like the character of Felicity Smoak.

- Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles appreciation. One of my favorite anime/manga of all time.

- I was a victim of credit card fraud because of Creation Entertainment and then they tried to deny they were at fault despite hundreds of their customers reporting credit card fraud all at the same time. They eventually retracted their statement but because of this, I will probably never go to a Creation convention again. They're way overpriced and I certainly will not entrust my important info to them again.

Apr 2019

- Shadowhunters final season started airing and they went from irritating to just plain boring. Seriously, the season's biggest crime isn't how misogynist and racist it was, it was that it was completely nonsensical and boring for me.

- The release of Taylor Swift's and Brendon Urie's collab of ME! and I seem to be the only one that seems to legitimately love that song (even the "spelling is fun" part, RIP you beautiful lyric, alas, you were too good and pure to last in this hateful unfunny world of judgemental culture).

- The X Family appreciation. This is one of my favorite Taiwanese dramas and definitely my favorite series in the KO franchise.

- I broke up with the main SPN meta community (otherwise known as the Positive Police). We just didn't see eye-to-eye. I didn't appreciate them lording over the fandom telling people what they should and should not ship, telling people what they should and should not like...and they didn't appreciate me saying so. Lots of blocking went on and I'm still eternally sorry for the people that got blocked by these big fish because they simply liked my posts.

May 2019

- Game of Thrones crappy ending. What is there to really say about it? It was terrible and misogynist AF.

- Ezra appreciation from the Natural Oneders TFS at the Table D&D campaign. Ezra Lockwood was my favorite character and I'm not okay with how he was written out of the campaign.

- I was quite angry about Dean destroying Chuck's guitar like Dean was a 5-year-old child angry that he didn't get his way (seriously, Dean needs to be sent to time-out).

Jun 2019

- Quicksilver and Dadneto meta commentary from FOX 's X-Men franchise. So much lost potential there, unfortunately (thanks, Dark Phoenix).

- Orca appreciation. They're beautiful, majestic creatures and I love them, they might be my spirit animal.

- Someone unfollowed me because I wasn't giving enough attention to real-world problems. Essentially, I wasn't woke enough I guess. But I'm sorry, if I want to feel all righteous and justicey, I'll watch the news. Social justice and politics are not primary focuses of this blog.

- Godzilla King of Monsters was fantastic.

- Chuck TV Series appreciation. I love this show and I miss it dearly.

Jul 2019

- Veronica Mars Season 4 discourse. Essentially I hate what happened to Logan and what it means for Veronica's character moving forward.

- Played Love Island The Game and had way more fun than I probably rightfully should've had.

Aug 2019

- Re-watched Sailor Moon and then watched Sailor Moon Crystal. Both shows are so much fun. Plus, I love Sailor Jupiter. I love Jupiter's personality and her power aesthetic is badass to match her personality.

- Taylor Swift's Lover album dropped. I might be in the minority but it actually ranks pretty low on my list of Taylor Swift albums.

- Skillet's Victorious album dropped a d ot was a huge disappointment for me.

- I found watermelon to be my new favorite post-workout snack.

Sep 2019

- I watched The Untamed and I absolutely adore this show. I started watching more chinese dramas because of this show. And whereas I haven't found something I enjoyed quite as much from the chinese drama list, I've still greatly enjoyed a lit of the shows...but they still have nothing on The Untamed. The Untamed is just so good.

- Lover Fest was announced. And it was real shady the dealings that were going on with this. It actually kind of made me wary of actually wanting to see Taylor live.

Oct 2019

- I began the Korean drama, Extra-Ordinary You. I haven't finished it yet, but I plan to. I wanted to wait until the entire series was done airing. It does really interesting things with tropes and I greatly enjoy this show and can't wait to to return to it.

- Sherlolly appreciation. Rediscovered my love for the Sherlock/Molly ship from Sherlock.

-Leverage appreciation. Absolutely fantastic show. Highly recommend it.

Nov 2019

-Psych tv series appreciation. Another one of my favorite shows of all time.

- I wrote a Dean Winchester endgame meta. It was fun.

Dec 2019

- Kamen Rider Den-O appreciation. My favorite from the Kamen Rider franchise. I've been re-watching it and it's so much fun. Sato Takeru is amazing in it and the fact that this one of his first acting jobs and he's able to pull off doing so many different characters is seriously amazing.

- SPN finally brought us an angel/vessel dynamic in the form of Adam and Michael and it was amazing.

- The Jumanji re-make appreciation. I love it and The Next Level is just as good as its predecessor and I'm anxiously awaiting the next film in the franchise.

- My thoughts on why I'm single. Mainly because I'm lazy and I just don't feel like doing through all of the work involved in dating.

There you have it. That's 2019 for me. It had its ups and its downs but blog wise, I think I had a pretty good year.

#2019 review

[wiredandrewired]

Was trying to actually work on something but my brain is stuck on loop.  So instead I’m gonna make a post of the Voltron stuff sitting unposted in my writing WIP folder to help me organize my thoughts.

I guess since I’m posting this, if you have anything you wanna say/ask about any of these feel free.  I respond well to outside interest.

1. Project ReVolt is without a doubt the project I’ve posted about the most here.  And talked about in random tags.  And tangents.  Originally it was just the name the project had in my internal brain filing cabinet but it’s kind of spread and stuck to where my wife and I just refer to it as that when we talk about it.

ReVolt is basically going to be a VLD series rewrite more along the lines of how my wife and I would have done it or at least liked to see it done.  In some places it will probably stick pretty damn close to the events of the series canon, but in others go completely off the deep end.  We’re each going to be doing one, so a lot of the headcanon and worldbuilding and such that we’ve worked out together in various other stories and RPs will be consistent between the two stories, but it will also give us a place to veer out and do things without the others’ input (as we’re not gonna let each other see our fics until they post, tee hee).  I’ve done a SHITPOT of rules and infrastructure work using actual alchemy tracts to try and make sense of the series’ largely Powers As The Plot Demands system,  and am pretty convinced I’m going to A)fall hard into my very common Esoterica Ranting Mode pitfall and B)enrage literally everyone who reads it with my character and plot choices.  Most conservative estimate says this will be six ‘books’ long as again, we’re doing literally the entire series.  Current status: at the ‘ridiculously large amount of notes and setting up actual arcs and outlines’ stage, and waiting for the wife to finish ‘Happier HOPEless’.

2. There Are No Monsters Here is a fic I really want to do but cannot seem to get off the ground, set to take place entirely in the ‘last universe’ from season 8--the one native-Honerva died in and crazed-death-god-Honerva picked out as her ideal and tried to wedge herself into.  I guess the basic idea was that, like the ‘main’ universe, it got rebuilt pretty much as it was prior to Nightmare Mom Ruining Everything, and I have it with no one fully remembering the events of season 8 that took place there, but characters really closely tied to those events having some itching feeling that something happened, and all the Altean alchemists agreeing that some kind of massive quantum Event certainly occurred even if they don’t know what.  

Mostly the story exists as  a place for me to have a canon-compliant AU that still lets me explore stuff like Altean history, the racial and cultural tensions of the Coalition, dink around with Oldadins that DON’T die in one fell swoop, a living Daibazaal and Altea, Lotor growing up with a decent-but-not-without-strains relationship with his dad, teen Allura and tiny Lotor being absolute shits to each other while also coming to terms as they grow up with who and what they MUST be both on a political and quantum scale, and generally prove that even a perfect universe isn’t, all in one place.  The title is entirely facetious, and anyone who’s read any of my alien culture headcanons for this series knows that.  Lol.  Current status: lots of bits and pieces, but no good beginning or connective tissue.   I have a lot of notes, some arc outlines, and a few scattered scenes and bits of dialogue from later in the story, but my god, I CANNOT get it off the ground.

3. Someone Must Get Hurt (But It Won’t Be Me) is supposed to be a pretty wholly Honerva-centric fic that starts...sometime in her youth?...and carries forward to an as-yet-undetermined point.  Probably her death.  I mean the first one.  I’m not sure.  Another chance to dig my fingers into Altean culture and Alchemy, this time leading up to All The Bad Shit That Happened, with the added bonus of being done from a focal point of a character I have a lot of really strong feelings about both positive and negative that’s resulted in me somehow being EVEN MORE wrapped up in her than I was before I added abject knee-jerk trauma hatred to the mix.  In no way meant to make Honerva more sympathetic, I think I just want to write her even more like my mother so I’ll feel EVEN BETTER about killing her?  Idk man my feelings about her are so complicated.  Also an excuse to write a shitpot of her and Zarkon because listen, I’m really glad they’re married because I ship them so fuckin hard.   Current Status: SO many notes.  SO much infrastructure.  Like three pages of an opening I’m almost definitely throwing away because I can’t decide where, when, or how to open but feel like this isn’t it.  One short but very telling scene of Honey and Zarkon from late in the story.  I’m obsessed with it but I can’t get anywhere. 

4. Currently Untitled Demon Hunter AU started because my wife talks to me about Happier HOPEless a LOT and I just got an itch in my bones to work on one myself.  In spite of the entire Demon Hunter AU thing getting started by a prompt on a Shance blog, neither Shiro nor Lance are set to appear for at least a chapter?  And I am not confident in my ability to not veer off into utter non-shipping anyway because man, am I bad at it.  Or like...just an entirely different ship for either or both of them.  Current Status: A lot of vague notes, a POWERFUL urge to structure the chapters and overall arc after Ripley’s Gates even though that limits my chapter count and means I will DEFINITELY have 20k+ word chapters, and about seven pages of the first chapter so I guess I’m committed now?

5. Currently Untitled Post Series Fic basically exists for me to vent my frustrations about two main things: The Universe is Fucking Huge And There Are Dangers Other Than Galra, and The Galra Empire Was Huge and Is Not Going To All Fall In Line Behind Voltron Coalition and Especially Behind Keith Who Just Arbitrarily Fucking Decided To Tell Them They Couldn't Pick A New Leader According To Their Own Traditions And Need To Do What They’re Told Now What The Fuck.  Also there was a lot of stuff in the series that got left hanging, and while ReVolt is an IN-series fix-it fic, I wanted something that patched up loose ends in a way that was satisfactory to me but also kind of canon-compliant.  Current Status: A lot of notes and screaming.  No one has seen my progress on this and they might never.

6. Dog Runs And Death Dreams is a warmup file turned deeply self-indulgent series of scenes in which I choose to assume that Shiro’s rare neuromuscular disorder was left so ambiguous so I could plug the symptoms of mine into it.  It’s genuinely not any deeper than that.  The whole thing is set pre-Kerberos, and includes copious Shiro x Adam content because of it, but also not the kind that makes me feel good about writing because that means it includes the ‘slow fizzle’ that leads up to their breakup before the mission.  Ugh.  Working on it does make me feel better when I've been having symptoms, though, and I’ve been letting myself write it, unchastised, in a really loose rambly way that I usually deride myself for.  It’s just cathartic.  Current Status: no notes, no plan, just strain-writing between seizures, but somehow it feels like it has some kind of structure and just keeps growing?  Possibly too close to the bone for me to ever post.

7. Birth and Rebirth was born out of two things: the fact that Zarkon is shown to have two ENTIRELY DIFFERENT reactions to first being presented with his baby son in different flashbacks and different seasons, and the fact that in spite of the flashbacks we get at the end of the series, earlier on, the impression I got of Lotor and Zarkon’s relationship wasn’t of a young man who had never had affection from his father, but who had instead lost it.  Well, three things: I have a lot of underlying issues at work, at play, and at large when it comes to the Galra Imperial Family.  Also, anyone notice the monitor blips in the first baby Lotor flashbacks indicate a heart murmur?  Anyway, it was supposed to be a thoroughly self-indulgent and thoroughly self-hurtful examination of Lotor’s early life and the death by degrees of what was left of his father in the husk Rift Adventures left behind, but I got stuck on it a little way in.   Current Progress: ten pages, a lot of notes, and some wistfulness.  I keep hoping I’ll get inspired to pick it back up again.  Contemplating rewriting some of the beginning, maybe it’ll help?

Bonus entry that is not actually in any form of progress soever:

50/50 Voltron Trashfire Edition is spawned from the ‘50/50′ challenge on an old TF board I used to haunt.  It’s a fifty-prompt smut challenge using the list of ‘50 reasons to have sex’ from some tv show, and the idea is to write a different ship for every prompt (hence the name).  My wife is blazing through it and has several (like twelve?) up on her AO3, but I’ll be utterly blunt: I haven’t written fifty porn fics in my LIFE.  Over ALL my fandoms.  Current Status: Literally all I have done is assign a ship to each prompt, and I might actually have some prompts with just question marks beside them still.  I have one aborted start to one entry.  That’s it.  It’s not happening.  But the empty file is technically in the folder, SO.

#things Rewire Writes #disregard I'm decompiling #writing woes #fanfiction: the struggle #the state of the rest of these makes me a little worried about Revolt tbh #I need to unclog the writing pen in my brain

[tiburme]

l e o p i k a

I can’t believe we ended up sending Leopika to each other for this ask meme 

😂😂

my thoughts:

 I’m LOv,,, them,,,,sm,,,,

I could ramble on about them forever but, i seriously love how much they’re thematically linked?? Like the fact that Leorio’s heartbeat is calming and Kurapika needs to calm down sometimes (a lot of the time), how they’ve both gone through a tremendous loss but have chosen to do dichotomously different things because of it, the whole boar/rat zodiac link thing,,,,  

when I started shipping it if I did: 

Honestly? On the boat asnxsaknk. I thought they were dumbasses for fighting in the middle of a huge storm but like after they were castigating Gon for jumping into danger I was like “they’re like his parents!” and then Kurapika smiled softly and apologized and Leorio got all flustered and blushed and I was sold. 

what makes me happy about them:

Everythin g tbh??? 😂😂😂 but mainly the fact that they balance each other out :,] 

things done in fanfic (or in general, fandom) that annoys me:

uhhhh when people make Kurapika either very submissive or very cold? And, in the same vein, make Leorio really indulgent or a pushover?? If that makes sense? Both of them can be soft af at times and they can both be jerks at times too! They call each other out and they can still be very warm/ friendly with each other, it’s part of the reason why they’re such great friends imo. 

things I look for in fanfic:

Are there nicknames/ pet names?? Is there sharing of culture/ language involved?? Sign me tf up!!

who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:

I don’t know tbh! I don’t ship them with anyone else, and honestly I think that if they don’t end up together (even platonically) it’d be kind of a let down. But, whatever happens, happens :9 (i just hope they dont get married off haphazardly  to someone they have no chemistry with just for the sake of having endgame couples, but i doubt they would! >_>;;) 

Thanks for the ask, @omoidori !! ^^ 💕💕

#tiburme talks

[pkmnjesus]

5 years of the PokémonJesus

Before the night comes to a close, I would like to personally reflect on today’s importance (thus the reason for the Takeover queue). It’s been 5 years since I officially became engaged with this fandom that has really became a weekly routine of mine when new episodes come out. This is really just to put my thoughts out there in the blog archive, so I would prefer if no one reblogs this. P J’s beginnings started all the way back with Serebii Forums...

2013-2014 (The Pokémon forums Era)

I have been lurking in the fandom as early as the Best Wishes days, and often visit sites like Serebii Forums or tumblr’s Pokémon anime tags around 2011. I usually talk Pokémon online when it comes to the games when battling or trading in certain chat rooms (was really active during the Gen. IV era of games), but never really talked about the anime with. I have been a spectator to the discussion while the BW saga was rolling a long, then I decided on September 26th 2013 (which was the airdate for the final BW! episode in Japan) to create a serebiiforums account under the username PokemonJesus123, just in time for the start of the XY series which I was mad hyped about! I WAS A FAN SINCE DAY 1...some y’all just tagged along in XY&Z NO LOYALTY xD . My serebii profile is still there actually, so you can try to find my old inactive page if you want lol (my avatar was me holding up my 3DS in a cringey way...looking back why tf did I take that photo lol delete later). Coming into 2014, I joined tumblr as well under the url name you see right before you. Never changed it, and probably never will. The origin of this name you ask? You’ll just have to ask me personally for that story 😉 I absolutely joined tumblr out of pure boredom to view and follow blogs I was a fan of. I had no intention of posting whatsoever. Oh, and I made a Twitter account under the P J name too! Follow ME :^)

2014-2015 (Thursday LIVE! tumblr era)

After a couple months of finally creating a tumblr account and actively posting on serebiiforums and bulbagarden, XY episode 50 (the episode where big lips Nini/Nene debuted) was the first EVER Pokémon anime episode I ever posted about in my blog. I was still new the #pokeani tag (funny story, I didn’t really knew what it meant back then besides to tag it lol), but I got as much as around 30-100 notes. Seeing those notes already got excited that it pushed me from making it a weekly thing since I had a livestream to watch it every Thursday night and screen-cap it. My goal from the very beginning was to try to be the first one to post about here, like what the Japanese fans do on Twitter under the #Anipoke tag. Of course, most of my notes came from either an AmourShipping post or a Serena post. I’m not going to lie, I was really a huge Serena fan when the series first started. I rambled a lot too getting hyped for Citron/Clemont episodes because he was probably my favorite character at the time xD

2015-2016 (A growing blog)

This was the era I started to do special long posts in celebration with Pokémon’s 20th anniversary. Around this period is where my blog was in a developing state getting like 2 or 3 followers every week. And trust me, there were A LOT of posts that I regret posting, but I learned to watch my words every week and say the right things (I really try not to trigger anyone here). I took a couple of weeks off when new episodes aired since I was really busy with college, or I wasn’t into XY filler episodes that much. Would usually tune in live when Team Flare was involved or anything with Squishy/Puni-chan (I absolutely ADORED Bonnie/Eureka in this arc), but I didn’t post that much on tumblr...unless if there was like an AmourShipping moment that happened xD. The hype for Gen. VII was already looming, and I kinda got bored from the anime A BIT. When Ash-Greninja came into the picture however, I got excited again! Then the Kalos League happened, and the anticipation of Ash’s journey hit a climax! We all know what happened, and the rest was history...

2016-2017 (GIFmaking era)

So the Sun & Moon anime happened late 2016, and the hype for a new series was within me again! This is when my blog REALLY started to boom, as well as the birth of my Pokémon Discord server PokéTōku. My notes were higher than over compared to what I posted from XY. One possible reason is that a lot of pokeani bloggers from back then weren’t really interested in Sun & Moon (probably because of the animation change), so I was one of few who still stayed for the ride and that really benefited my blog’s exposure. I absolutely loved Lillie’s character development, and I also did not expect myself to enjoy Lana/Suiren’s character so much! Brock & Misty’s was a huge highlight for me as well seeing my childhood come to a modern-day Pokémon series. I was surprised to have popular people reblog my stuff that destroys my notifications per second. I was even flattered when popular pokéblogs such as shelgon, corsolanite, chasekip, and a few others followed me. Back then I really wanted to get a lot of notes, but at this point I just wanted to be myself and post screen-caps that I feel like talking about. The series also motivated me to start making GIFs since I finally had access to Adobe Photoshop through my university’s application benefits. Later in 2017, I graduated from college and it gave me more time to improving my blog. Also, can you believe it took me 3 years to get 1,000 followers? If you asked me from day 1, I would have never expected to get that much since I had no idea about tumblr’s audience.

Everyone here knows that my blog doesn’t really follow “traditional” tumblr methods such as tags or making specific posts and what not (since I’m not really that into the tumblr culture lol...I’m just here for fun doing my own thing), but I hope I’ve brought something different to your dash experience 🙃

2017-2018 (Making friends)

From 1,000 to 2,500+ followers the next year. You’d be surprise how small that still is compared to the other popular Pokéblogs that joined tumblr later than me, but I’m still grateful for that number. My hype for movie 20 was crazy! I’d always make a post about it when a new trailer was out. But just like Sun & Moon, not everyone was looking forward to the AU it produced. The Let’s Go games shared the same fate as well since everyone didn’t want another Kanto, but I always defend the things that deserve a chance! I fairly enjoyed movie 20 though, and was the first movie that I posted screen-caps and GIFs for in this blog, even made an experience post about it watching it in the theaters! What’s MOST important to me during this time was actually interacting with some of my followers...or should I say friends now :) Out of the 5 years I’ve been here (not counting serebiiforum peeps I’ve known since 2013), I only recently talked to some of you around 2017. My interactions with people here have been awesome (for the most part at least lol) from sharing interests, geeking out over the anime, sending memes xD and concerns when P J isn’t feeling P J. You know who you are, and THANK YOU for cheering your boy up in times when I needed it despite not telling you about it <3 Going back to PokéAni hype, my next excitement attack was when they announced the Aether Foundation and Ultra Beasts were getting involved in the main story. It really makes up for no Alola movie...but hey we still got 1 year left, so maybe there’s hope?

Despite the brief breaks I took, P J’s activeness in the fandom has reached its highest when I managed the time to do scheduled posts and even started a few mini-blog series this year. Even during stressful times, I always make it an effort to find time and contribute to the fandom. I honestly don’t care if I get any asks because I know who the real homies are ◉‿◉つ A special shoutout as well to all the people that joined my Discord server through this website. I couldn’t have reached 100+ members without some of your blogs ^_^ And to the lurkers out there (I know some of y’all are creepin’ in the shadows of my blog without liking anything), you may not know it but I love you people too ლ(́◉◞౪◟◉‵ლ)

Anyway this is just a summary of my journey here so far, and if you’d to hear a more in-depth story on some toxic things I’ve experienced in this fandom just message me. I personally don’t like venting out stuff in public because it just promotes more negativity, and I’m not about that. I will make a separate post on my feelings toward the schedule change maybe next week, and an appreciation post (5th tumblr blogaversary) for my specific followers January 2019. I am still preparing for that because there are so many people (even ones I don’t even talk to) I want to thank ❤ Moving forward into my 6th year, I probably won’t make another post like this anytime soon...but I am very hopeful for the future of the SM series and possible Gen. 8 anime late 2019. I also do plan on making some PokéAni-related stuff in my YouTube channel when the time is right, and have the resources to do projects. Keep your eyes out fam 👀LET’S F’N GO!

#The Pok��monJesus reflection #P J's thoughts #PokeAni #Pokemon anime #5 years of being in the PokéAni fandom...what a bumpy ride #TPJ Takeover #END_TAKEOVER...good times and good night! Until next post PEACE ✌️