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polygamyff · 4 years

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58. Part 10

I feel so stupid right now, I am angry at myself “come over here” my dad said to Robyn “tell me what Joy has been saying?” my dad don’t want to speak to me, he is angry with me but I don’t get what he wants me to do, he doesn’t want me to have no fun and just be like him. Moving back a little as Robyn got into my dad’ eye view “she has been getting at me that your family will kill me, I am not liked, making rumours up about it, she bullied me throughout the whole event. I am not the type to be taking shit, but I am pregnant, and I am not going to play with that, the stress she has put me through when I am already struggling with my anaemia. She has really tried to push me away like she doesn’t care for anything but money, I said one thing and she made it another. She tried to get at Maurice to twist things and make him hate me but he was drunk anyways so he don’t remember shit” shaking my head placing my hands on my hips, well she had to add that on top of everything “that is ok, take a seat. This is not your issue at all Robyn. You just relax” this is a mess, I fucking wish I didn’t take this bullshit business on “so what do you want to do now Maurice, I want you to deal with this. So, what is the next course of action” my dad said “hangover or not, business doesn’t stop so tell me, what are we doing?” I wish he wouldn’t do this; I am honestly not in the right mind to be doing this. I am put on the spot and I just need to think “I am going to send a cease and desist for slander and that my next point will be legal action for my reputation including seeking fees for damages” my dad nodded his head “for who exactly? This is on you, your choice now” my dad said “everyone, every Davenport I know” my dad sniggered “ok, then you make that happen, the world is yours Maurice. Use it” looking at Lionel “with Lionel I am taking you to court with defamation and using slandering words against me, I don’t need the money it’s just the point. I won’t see you in court cause my lawyer will be there but good luck. And T get his phone from him” Lionel looked at me panicking “what the fuck, you can’t do that!” I laughed “I am just taking my money from you, go and ask your dad for it. Give it T before he drags it from you” Lionel gave his phone up “once my people have got all that shit from your social media then I will give it back” T gave me his phone “now go Lionel, we will be in touch” my dad said to him.

Looking up at the ceiling as I paced off “why did you sleep with my uncle and then made Malik’ life a living hell” I just said it, I am bored of this situation “go on then Joy, the stage is yours” my dad said, shaking my head as I looked at my mom “if you just remained well, you remained good, you remained loyal. Me and you could have made it, yes I hated you for letting me go there and then hated you for me coming back but if you just thought fuck it. We can be good for my daughter and cared, but then you lied, again and again for nothing. You didn’t even care when I came back so I will always see Paula as my mother, to this day she allows me in her home and treats me like her son. I know it all mom, I do. See I call you mom! You don’t deserve the title, but you let me down, I was a kid. What the fuck did I know, so why? That isn’t a way to win a man back, fuck his brother and you still here!? Living and breathing, the elephant in the room is that clearly, so go on?” my mom looks rough but it’s her persona that gets me, she is not with me at all, she is just heartless like I am just nothing to her in a way “my pride and joy, not so much that though Maurice, you was never my son. I was the oven, and the bun was cooked and was taken by Marquis. It added to the fact I am not maternal at all; I don’t know what to do or how to be a mother. I didn’t want kids, that is the truth, but I had three. If you came first then I wouldn’t have had an extra two. I didn’t bond with you, and I see you as what it is, money. You have my genes in you, but I don’t feel anything towards you Maurice, neither do I Malik. I don’t really care about anyone Maurice, that left a lot time ago. I deal with him because he bought me, I mean who cares” nodding my head slowly “right, so is that it? You saw dad was with Paula and was like, I need to fuck his brother. Did you get abused when you were younger? You are not right in the mind at all, you are so dead in the eyes” leaning closer to her “I am nothing” she shrugged laughing, looking at my dad “she only wants money, that is her Maurice” my dad said, turning away from everyone and pacing off.

I don’t understand why but I have a heart for my mom, I don’t know why and why this is happening. I just don’t know; I don’t think she is normal. Nobody can be like that, nobody in their right mind can be this way. I just don’t know, I don’t know “come on now Maurice, we haven’t got all day. What do you want to happen to her? You have no home in Texas now, I am done with you” my dad said but I don’t know what to say really, I look at her and I see me in her because she is my mother “did I miss everything” looking behind me, Nalah is here “yes you did Nalah, your mom also got beat too” my dad laughed “mom, what happened? Oh my god” my mom turned away from Nalah “did I miss it all? I just needed to deal with things” waving Nalah over, Robyn is glaring at me, but I just need my sister “nice to know you are back with us Maurice, my god. You were out of it at the party” that is not my problem right now “just come here for me” standing in the corner of the meeting room “what is wrong with you, you have the sad face going on is it Robyn?” shaking my head “stand here” I pointed in front of me “I don’t want to shout” I said in a whisper “oh ok” Nalah moved in front of me “I bought it up, about Malik to mom. Dad wants me to I don’t know, take everything off her. And I can do it now, but you and I both know that the safety box she has got is non-existent, Wade told me that. She has nothing when everything was coming to me she has nothing. The things I have to fulfil mentions nothing of her. Dad wants me to I don’t know, throw her and destroy her but” I paused putting my head down “you can’t” Nalah finished off for me “that is dad’ job not yours, he should be doing it. He has got a face on with you about what went on so in a way he is punishing you, but just to add you are an idiot but for this. You shouldn’t be doing anything to mom, I thought you hated her anyways?” I swallowed hard “I have a heart Nalah, this is what gets me in fucked up shit. Mom is just not normal, she acts like she loves money but that is not real, it’s just mentally not right with her. I mean I kind of knew when I was younger she was never right but, I look at her” I froze, I am not about to cry “she gave birth to me and she looks like me, and I was angry but I am not” Nalah blew out air knowing this is a hard situation “Jesus Maurice, mom has been a bitch. She has been driving Robyn crazy” nodding my head “I get it, but she does shit for what? Attention, there is no reason for it, she has lied so much and told Robyn she has money put away, she doesn’t. Mom is not normal, and it is bugging me” rubbing my face.

I am frustrated “out of everything, you still call her mom and it always showed me that you cared for her. First of all, dad need to do his own shit not you, I will say it to dad or better yet you do it. Maybe” Nalah paused thinking “I been thinking this because mom is not normal. I don’t think she was when she met dad, I was thinking of getting her back with her own family, I don’t think she loves money as much as she puts on. I mean we all rather cry in a million dollar mansion, she has always been depressive as fuck, uncle hated dad anyways so what better way then fuck his wife. It’s lies, everything is lies. This needs to be a fresh start for you, for us and everyone else. What do you want to do, tell me?” Nalah said “I don’t want to destroy her like dad wants, I think in my heart. Like I am doing with Malik, knowing she is happy at least but away from us. We all been affected by dad, I love him, but he has done it to us all. Then Robyn will think I just did it and not took her side” Nalah shook her head “listen to me, you tell dad you do your job. You do what you want because I have my wife, and that is Robyn. Then I will take mom, she will come with me and put her up in some fancy shit and I will find out. Probably put mom in some counselling sessions too while I am at it, but then you need to help Malik while I deal with mom. Just let’s start off there, nobody needs to know. Mom will be away from dad so it may change. I am not judging you for having a heart because if you did try and do whatever, I would have helped her on the low. I think it’s a mess, a mess that our dad started and never ended” hugging Nalah “awww, you’re my little brother, an idiot but also got a good heart on you” Nalah hugged me back.

My dad is looking at both Nalah and then me “a lot of whispering, did any of you hear?” my dad looked around him “nobody heard so boss, tell us what is next” swallowing hard “I want you to do your own dirty work, without hitting her because at the end of the day a man shouldn’t do that. You deal with mom; you have thrown her out. So, divorce her then, end it. But this is your mess, not mine” my dad is staring at me, he is staring at me hard “I don’t like weak Maurice, I sense it. Be a man, the weak is not us Maurice. I can see it in your eyes, you are plotting something else. You are showing heart, she was horrible to your future. What are you going to do about it Maurice!? You want your daughter gone because you let heart get to you! Boy, don’t make me put sense into you” taking in a deep breath “you know what dad, he is your golden child but you sure did bully his ass. I blame you for not letting him show his heart, you need to leave him alone now. It’s done, it’s over! Your lonely and she is free” Nalah stuck up for me “Robyn let me love, and yes my heart has got me in a lot of shit, but she has shown me how I can be, to see good in people. I don’t want to be you dad! I don’t want to destroy shit; I don’t want lies! This is all you dad; I am done with it. You wanted me to be a bastard like you with a woman I hate, that was it. I remember those conversations dad! It’s a daughter son, what are you going to do about it!? You didn’t want angel did you!? You’re a hypocrite” I pointed at him “always wanted mommy’ love didn’t you, you needed hard love Maurice. We don’t do weak and that is all you do is show weak to me, reminds of that night when you peed yourself when I told you! To look after your siblings but did you. You couldn’t do that right, scared of some robbers? You know what, I am here to wipe your ass when you are ready Maurice, I am done with this conversation and Joy, you have twenty four hours to get your shit from the Texas home and if you want to tell on me, then so be it. Come on T, let’s go” my dad walked out.

Nalah hit my arm “come over here for a minute” rubbing the back of my head walking behind Nalah “dad will end up calling you soon, but I just want to go over this with you. I will take mom with me, and we going to try and see if mom is well and truly that way, but I have been always wanting to take her back to her parents, I think you are right. We can keep our distance but least we know she will be with her family, I mean someone got to love her” nodding my head “yeah, well she hasn’t said a word since the whole beating and saying that. So, I guess it is on you, just put her up somewhere. Imagine being with a guy and he left you nothing, but you still put up with his bullying ways. I can’t imagine they was good even before we were born, I just think she was there to have a baby. So yeah, just you do that. I don’t have a phone currently, I will get Ally on that” tucking my shirt in, I don’t know why because I need to change these, but I am anxious “dad plays you too much but stop giving him an excuse to come at you like that too, you better go” rubbing my face turning around “uh Nalah, get Ally on the phone for me. Just tell her that I need to speak to her and that she can bring Reign down too” standing at the side of my mom “leave through the back with Nalah, and I know everything. You had nothing on him, he did it but you lied and just threatened him. You want to know how I found out?” my mom looked up at me “I asked Wade to hire a private investigator, you don’t have nothing and I know my dad knows this too, I don’t know why he kept you around. It was probably some mind control; I don’t know because he loved Paula. Since I now have the paperwork for everything, when dad dies, you get nothing. You are literally living for the moment. Acts up now, but yeah. Nalah will deal with the rest” stepping back “Jay, walk them out too” stuffing my hands in my pockets.

This is like a queue system; I have Robyn and Terry now. Sitting on the edge of the table staring at Robyn “I am sorry for my behaviour and whatever the fuck I did, I am paying for it now” I apologised because I am sorry “what just happened with your mom?” Robyn asked “Wade has been investigating my mom since I found out, there is nothing. She has nothing, her shit is lies. I’ve seen my dad’ will and he ain’t left shit to her, Paula has been left what should have been my mom’ and when Wade told me that in real terms, she is just a nobody. Speaking to her, she just seems not right. Bit like Malik I guess, I don’t want to battle my mother because that is bad vibes, only thing I can do is get her help and then give her back to her family, and yes the family she left. I think they will be happy to see her back. And just give her a monthly living allowance, if not then she will be on the streets which then makes me look bad unless we kill her. I am done with this fight with people, Davenport name has been through shit, we need some truth” I am tired from this shit “you have a good heart, this is why I love you” I laughed, I had to laugh “I didn’t like to see your dad like that with you, he reminded me of that Marquis I met the first time and I didn’t like that for you” the door opened, pushing myself away from the table seeing Ally and Reign “she was very good, she didn’t cry and just played” smiling at Reign walking over to them, Robyn held out a polaroid to me “our baby, I was not well” looking down at the polaroid and looked away “uh, we have work to do. I need you to get me a new phone. And some new clothes, anything. Come back and get Wade on the phone. I will be in the office here” Ally looked at me all wide eyed “ok that is fine, I will” Ally said, Reign whined out “I have work to do, Jay will escort you all out” I said walking off “you going to walk off?” Robyn spat “I need time alone” looking at Reign with her arms out but turned away from her “you could have waited to show that” overhearing Terry say but it’s too late, I want to cry but I won’t as I made my way to the lobby. I look even more like a shit person, it’s just added to everything else now.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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everymovie2020 · 5 years

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Malice (1993)

Date watched: 23 February 2019

Okay, so on Saturday I was like, I probably need to catch up on some TV shows, I haven't even started Grace and Frankie yet, I need to take a break from movies, so I won't watch any movies tonight.

Then I'm scrolling through Stan, as you do, and what do I stumble upon but this movie from 1993, starring Nicole Kidman AND Bill Pullman AND Alec Baldwin.

And I'm sorry but like what am I supposed to do with that? Just not watch it? Just leave it for another time? I am incapable of doing that. I had to watch it. I had to know why I'd never heard of it before! Why have I never seen this movie? Probably because it's not that great, but that's beside the point.

It's twisty and turny, so I will try to break down the plot (spoilers for this 26-year-old movie by the way):

Bill Pullman and Nicole Kidman are happily married and they live in a big old house (that is honestly really ugly). Bill Pullman is the dean of a university where several students have been raped and murdered by a serial rapist and murderer.

Bebe Neuwirth is the no-nonsense, tough-talkin' lady cop trying to solve the murders.

Alec Baldwin is this amazing doctor/surgeon/handsome lothario type dude, who swings into town all, "YOUR SAVIOUR HAS ARRIVED."

Turns out that Baldwin and Pullman went to high school together but weren't friends, so they bond over that.

Then it turns out that Pullman and Nicole met and fell in love while she was his student at university, which I guess is to make you wonder if he's a predator? He's not; he's just kind of hapless.

So Pullman lets Baldwin move into their big old house as their tenant, because he needs a place to live, and Nicole isn't super happy about this but anyway.

In the meantime the serial rapist/murderer rapes and murders a young Gwyneth Paltrow and tries to pin it on Bill Pullman, but we know it wasn't Bill Pullman because he's very, very hapless and not at all capable of that (sidenote – I've got a real soft spot for Bill Pullman). Also at this point I realised that the serial killer/rapist was the janitor at the university, because he eyed Gwyneth Paltrow in her one scene. So if they expected me to believe that it was Bill Pullman for any amount of time, I'm sorry to tell them that I'm smarter than that. It's always the creepy janitor.

Then Australia's Nicole Kidman starts having pain in her lady parts (sidenote – she and Bill Pullman had been trying to have a baby, this is important for later), and Baldwin knows of this because he's ~SUPERDOC~, and one night the pain is so bad that she's rushed to the hospital.

The hospital calls Baldwin, who has been out a bar DRINKING, and he goes to the hospital, under the influence of ALCOHOL, to have a look at Nicole. They find that her ovaries are twisted, and they have to take one out, but they can't tell if the other one is completely fucked or not, AND she's pregnant. So Baldwin asks Pullman what he should do and Pullman wants his wife to live, of course, so he says to take it out. So they do, and the baby is terminated (obviously).

Then when Nicole wakes up, she is fucking PISSED OFF. She walks out on Pullman and sues Baldwin.

At this point I was kind of like, where is this going, there's this serial rapist guy still out there, and to my way of thinking Bill Pullman did the thing he thought was right to save the life of his wife, so like… maybe Nicole is getting carried away there?

So there's a settlement between Nicole and the hospital for like $20 million, because they find out that Baldwin had been drinking before he cut her open. At the same time Bill Pullman gets hauled in by the police to give a semen sample to prove he didn't kill baby Gwyneth Paltrow, and THEN it turns out that he is shooting blanks and therefore COULDN'T BE THE FATHER OF NICOLE'S BABY.

PLOT. TWIST.

His first thought is that she was fucking her hot lawyer, but Peter Gallagher is like, "Nope dude, wasn't me." Then Bill Pullman discovers the serial killer/rapist is the janitor of the school and gets beat the fuck up, but the dude is arrested – that plot is merely to facilitate the other plot in which we find out that Bill Pullman is sterile, and has zero impact on the rest of the movie.

So then Bill Pullman is like, okay, I need to find out who the fuck Nicole was fucking, so he goes to her mother (played by Anne Bancroft) who is like, "Bill, you're a nice guy but you should know that my daughter is a con artist and she was playing you."

And I was like, huh. BUT WHY?

So Bill tracks her down to this fancy house on a hill where she's shacked up with none other than – you guessed it – Alec fuckin' Baldwin.

And again, I'm like, BUT WHY?

Here's the why – Nicole wanted money, so she and Alec Baldwin hatched a scheme to have him perform completely unnecessary surgery on her (they were injecting her with this drug to make her have pain? Idk), get sued, lose the lawsuit and split the proceeds.

Why does Bill Pullman come into this? Look, it's been three days and I still don't know. I feel like she needed the husband to make the decision that they should take out both ovaries and thus fuck her up reproductively (finding out later on that the other ovary they took out was healthy, thus the basis for the lawsuit, etc etc), but it just seems like a hell of a long con to date this guy, marry this guy, live with this guy for years and then fuck him over? I mean, I get conning someone if they've done something to you, but Bill Pullman in this movie was a genuinely decent guy so I just don't understand the twisted depths of Nicole Kidman's mind. And it’s not like he was rich so I don’t understand the reasoning.

ANYWAY, Bill Pullman is like well FUCK, and then he discovers a syringe in their bedroom with liquid in it, so he has that analysed by his friendly neighbourhood police officer Bebe Neuwirth (sidenote – I totally vibed that Bebe Neuwirth wanted a piece of the Bill Pullman action in this movie, and when it ended with them driving off together, I was like GET IT GIRL – end sidenote). Then he trolls Baldwin and Nicole by leaving a syringe in their bed, which they find, then Nicole goes to meet him and he's like bitch, you give me half of your money or I'm going to the police, and she's like, mate, you've got no evidence, and he's like, yeah I do, the neighbour saw you and Baldwin FUCKING IN OUR BED.

Additional plot information – they have no curtain on their bedroom window and the neighbour boy across the way can hypothetically see right in.

So Nicole is like well mother fucking FUCK – at this point, ngl, I was kind of Team Nicole. She goes home to Baldwin and she's like, I'm not splitting the money, and Baldwin is like, yeah you are and she's like well I'll just fucking KILL EVERYONE THEN, so she kills Baldwin and goes after the neighbour kid.

But Pullman and Bebe Neuwirth have hatched a scheme, and when Nicole breaks into the neighbour's house the boy isn't there, but Bill is, so they have it out, but then Bebe Neuwirth is like, "Nicole Kidman, you're under arrest," and Nicole is all well fuck.

THEN it turns out the neighbour kid was blind ANYWAY, and Bill Pullman fucking PLAYED HER.

At this point I was back on Team Pullman.

End thoughts:

This was okay. It wasn't what I thought it would be but I’m not mad about it. I don't think it was very good, because… it seems to me like their plan was way too convoluted to ever work, and the only reason it completely collapsed in the first place was because Bill Pullman found out he was sterile and therefore not the father of their baby, so therefore she had to have been having an affair, which made him doubt her, yada yada yada.

And ALSO, if the serial killer/rapist hadn't been serial killing and raping at the same time, Bill Pullman would never have had to provide his sperm and he would've never known that he wasn't the father.

So really it was a series of unfortunate events that coincided to lead to Nicole's downfall.

I will say she looked AMAZING in this; her hair was INCREDIBLE and she pretty much out-acted everyone, because she's a goddamn LEGEND and I love her SO MUCH.

#malice #1993 #movies #movie review #nicole kidman #queen nicole kidman #bill pullman #alec baldwin #peter gallagher #bebe neuwirth #anne bancroft #twisty and turny and nicole was amazing #as she always is #god her hair is incredible

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janegilmore · 4 years

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New Post: https://janegilmore.com/extract-why-we-shouldnt-ask-why-she-doesnt-leave/

Extract: Why we shouldn't ask why she doesn't leave

This is an extract from my book Fixed It: Violence and the representation of women in the media, which you can buy from Readings, Booktopia, Amazon, Audible or the local bookstore of your choice (choose local if you can).

This extract is from a section talking about the influence media has on how people think about men’s violence against women and the danger this can present to women who want to escape a violence partner.

Leaving a relationship that isn’t abusive is difficult, heartbreaking and exhausting. Imagine how much worse it can be when you’re also trying to unlearn years of grooming that taught you to have no faith in yourself and a lifetime of the world reinforcing to everyone around you that women are responsible for men’s violence, lie about men’s violence and should be the only ones to suffer the consequences of men’s violence.

Chapter 8 – Victims, perpetrators and the people who support them

It is dangerous for women who have experienced violence from men to live in communities where people might blame them for the violence someone else chose to enact against them. Crisis and support services need funding and government support to offer effective help to the hundreds of thousands of women who need it. They need to connect to police and courts, banks and welfare agencies, doctors and mental health workers, schools and work, housing and utility services, and they need to know those institutions will support them. An Australian woman told me her story of trying to escape her abusive husband and it’s a sadly typical example of the dangers and barriers women face when they try to leave violent men.

Jenny* tried to leave her abusive husband, Andrew*, four times before she was finally able to escape. The first time she tried to leave was in the 1990s. Services for women in violent families were much more difficult to find, and she found her attempts blocked by basic logistical obstacles. Because she was still married, she quite simply could not get a lease, electricity supply, medical care, new schools for her kids or bank accounts in her own name without risking him finding her address. The organisations either required a co-signature from her then husband or would make her new address available to him.

I was like a rat in a maze. Every time I ran down another alley I’d hit a wall. When we were married he’d always insisted on putting everything in his name – lease, bills, bank accounts, cars, insurance, everything. At first I didn’t realise that it mattered and later I was too scared of him to do anything about it. So the first time I tried to leave I had no rental record, no credit, no money of my own and whenever I tried to get anything they’d either want to check with him to verify my identity or they’d want to put things in both our names. Schools wouldn’t take the kids without both of us filling in the forms, even though I had police reports and had started divorce papers. Landlords wanted references and they’d tell me they ‘couldn’t promise’ that he wouldn’t find out about the application. If I told them I was in danger from him I wouldn’t get a lease. I could see it on their faces: I was ‘trouble’. If I didn’t tell them they’d ring him for a goddamn reference. It was unbelievable. I had a job but when I tried to buy a car they wouldn’t give me finance without his signature because we were still married. I paid the extra fee to get a silent phone number but one of the times we moved out he got our address from the electricity company. Another time it was through the husband of one of my friends. That bloke had always believed Andrew when he told people I was treating him badly and going to take the kids off him, so he felt sorry for him and said he was just trying to help him out. Every time I went back to Andrew it would all start again but he kept promising he wouldn’t hurt me again and he’d get so angry when I said no. It sounds crazy but I felt like I’d be safer if I moved back in with him and kept him happy than if I stayed where I was when he was so furious and could turn up any time he liked.

Over time, as services for women fleeing violence slowly improved, Jenny was finally able to escape. With the help of police, intervention orders and one of the very few domestic violence support services avail- able at the time, she got a lease and moved to a new home with her children. Both Jenny and the police believed she had done everything she needed to do to make sure Andrew couldn’t find her new address. They were wrong. Police are still not sure exactly how he found out where she was living. He won’t say but Jenny thinks it’s possible he simply followed her home from work.

He tried it lots of times. I’d see his car across the street or catch it in my rear-view mirror. Every time I saw him, I’d drive straight to the police station. Sometimes they’d be great; sometimes they’d carry on like I was just a pain in the arse. It all depended on who was on the counter when I got there. Maybe he borrowed someone else’s car one night ‘cause I was always really careful. I never ever stopped watching for him.

Despite multiple breaches of intervention orders, like waiting out- side her work and following her home, ringing her and threatening to kill her, telling their children she was a manipulative bitch who didn’t really love them, that she was just doing things for them to make him look bad, and stalking her when she went out with friends, Andrew was never imprisoned. He had multiple court appearances that ended in fines, intervention orders, good behaviour bonds, suspended sentences and stern warnings. This went on for nearly a year until one night he came to Jenny’s home with a knife, kicked in her door and tried to kill her. One of her children, then only twelve years old, was quick enough to hide under furniture with a phone, call the police and stay on the phone so they could hear Jenny scream as she was being cut. Jenny had deliberately chosen a house close to a police station, a decision that probably saved her life that night because two carloads of police arrived in time to stop him before he killed her. Jenny was hospitalised with multiple stab wounds and Andrew was charged, convicted and imprisoned for attempted murder. The child who hid in the house that night, listening to his mother being stabbed, remains deeply traumatised.

Andrew is due for release soon, so Jenny has changed jobs and left everyone at her old workplace with a detailed description of him and how to respond if he turns up. She calls it her ‘death-cheat-sheet’. It’s a document she’s assembled with photos of him and all the history, convictions and current court orders, as well as police contact details for anyone who hears from him. She’s handed the death-cheat-sheet to all the people he might contact if he tries to find her or her children again. So far this has included: her children’s schools and workplaces, parents of children’s schoolfriends, her eldest child’s partner, their parents and sib- lings, local police, family violence services, banks, utilities, her landlord, the bond agency, doctors, sporting clubs, social media, friends, family and extended networks, dentists, road toll organisations, Centrelink, eBay, the electoral roll, the tax office, superannuation accounts, lawyers, loyalty card companies, the car registration organisation, the local council and the local vet. She’s not sure if she’s covered every option and she knows there is a huge number of people who all have to be constantly vigilant about his manipulations and detailed knowledge of her life and habits.

If any one person at any of those places slips up, even once, and he is able to find her, she firmly believes he will kill her.

It’s a lot better these days but you still get people, you know, rolling their eyes and thinking I’m making a big drama of it all. Or they think I’m just being a bitch and not letting him see his kids. That’s why I did the death-cheat-sheet. Seeing the attempted murder conviction in black and white makes a difference, even to the blokes who feel a bit sorry for him because they think, ‘Oh, poor bugger, he just wants to see his kids.’ The big organisations, they all have those privacy regulations, but he knows my date of birth and all kinds of other details and he has the marriage certificate. Most people aren’t going to check whether a husband has tried to kill his wife if he pretends he’s just trying to pay her phone bill or something like that. He’s smart – that’s what scares me.

It should be unlikely he’d be able to fool any of the large organisations now: they almost all have accounts for people like Jenny flagged to prevent exactly the situation that scares her. But she is one persuasive conversation, one person who believes women lie about domestic violence, one sympathetic interaction away from someone giving her address to the man who abused her, stalked her and eventually tried to kill her. He’s got a four out of ten chance of finding her, according to the National Community Attitudes Survey. Damn right she should be scared.

* Jenny and Andrew’s names and some identifying details have been changed to protect her life and the lives of her children.

—

If you want to read more, you can buy Fixed It: Violence and the representation of women in the media from Readings, Booktopia, Amazon, Audible or the local bookstore of your choice (choose local if you can).

##FixedIt

#FixedIt

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theartoffracturedthoughts-blog · 7 years

Text

❦ 23.) Get It Together

"And you'll only have yourself to blame, if you continue to live this way" - India Arie

|R H Y A N|

"How you feeling?" I asked Mila as she sat on the floor messing with her fingers.

Her wild curls were all over her head, and she was dressed in Cookie Monster pajama pants with a wife beater. The scent of the Dove body wash coming from her brown skin, swirled throughout the room.

"Ready for it to be over with. Najeem is a little mad at me." Mila shrugged as I kissed on Heaven'S forehead.

"Why? You decided not to keep it?" I asked with sad eyes, thinking back to my abortion and how hurt Elijah was when he found out.

"I'm keeping the baby, I'm just not as happy as he wants me to be." Mila admitted raking her fingers through her hair.

"I definitely can relate. That's how I was with my first pregnancy. I would cry for days on end. It took me hearing my baby's heartbeat, before it hit me I was about to be a mother and this was something a lot of women didn't get to experience." I sighed, "And right after I found out the sex, I miscarried and I felt so low Mila."

My eyes burned, thinking back to that dark place me and Elijah were in when we lost our first child. No one knows the physical pain I went through, and mentally it fucked me up for a long time.Mila stared at me with big tears in her round eyes, while chewing at her bottom lip.

"I felt like I couldn't do anything right, when it came to me and Elijah's relationship. I was selfish, and I couldn't even carry a baby for him. So ultimately I ended up leaving, then I found out I was pregnant again and got an abortion." I admitted shaking my head at the thought, "That broke my baby's heart when I told him. The move I made was so selfish, based off what I would lose and gain from the situation."

I watched Mila wipe her eyes, and let out a sigh as she stared at floor.

"I know this isn't the happiest moment of your life right now because of all the things you could be doing, but this is your blessing." I smiled at her, "You get to experience something a lot of females can't, with someone who genuinely loves you. I can assure you when you become a mother, all those thoughts you're having now will fly out the window."

Heaven let out a breath, causing me to look down at her and see her sleeping just like Elijah. I kissed her one last time, before laying her in the crib with Brix who I already shared my time with.

I walked over, and helped Mila up off the floor giving her a strong hug. She hugged me tightly, and just cried on my shoulder while I sympathized knowing that exact feeling.

"We love you Mila, and have so much faith in you. You're going to be a good mommy girl." I assured her as my phone began to beep back to back with notifications.

I rolled my eyes, as we pulled away from each other and Mila laughed at me as I held a stank face staring at my phone. Unlocking my phone, I went to Instagram seeing that I was being tagged in the same post by people.

I realized it was something Lolo posted, causing me to snarl. I honestly wasn't trying to go there with this bitch, because I was trying to fix things with my man.

She a baby mama, and that's all her ass will ever be.

It was a picture of her with a black eye, busted lip, and broken nose causing me to giggle at the sight. Finally, somebody else popped her ass cause she talks too much shit.

SweetndLo: The shit I go through with daughter's father 😔. Ladies it's never okay to let a man beat you! I've dealt with the disrespect from him one too many times, and this is the second time this man has put his hands on me! How the fuck am I supposed to look my daughter in the face, and explain her daddy did this to me?! If a man hits you once, he will hit you again! It doesn't make it any better his family is going to support his dumb ass, along with his dumb ass other baby mama. I just want justice. #JusticeForLo

My nostrils flared at the post, and I tried to control my anger thinking of Eli and Halo. I wasn't sure what Lolo was up to this time, but I didn't appreciate her lying on my man's name especially with all the shit he has going on business wise.

It wasn't long before I hopped on the post.

BigBootyRhy: @SweetndLo Pussy ass ho take this down and quit lying on my man name. I ain't on house arrest no more bitch, and I ain't scared to go to jail again. Lying for some fucking likes and followers. Dumb ass lil girl. #CatchMeOutsideHowBoutThat

I left the app, and hit Elijah's contact icon. Dialing his number, the phone rang before it went straight to voicemail making me frown.

"Mila call your cousin. I think he has me blocked and this is urgent." I spoke going back to the post, seeing that Brae and Adonis were also on the post.

SoBrae: @SweetndLo You getting good with this makeup sis. Put some respeck on Eli name, he didn't do shit!

AdonisThePhotographer: @SweetndLo Bitch if you don't take this shit down!

"It's going to voicemail Rhy." Mila voiced, as I began to panic while chewing my lip.

Lolo responded back to my comment, making me kiss my teeth.

SweetndLo: @BigBootyRhy I don't have a reason to lie! Your man came over here and beat my ass like I was a nigga off the street, and not the mother of his child. He probably been knocking yo lil dense ass around and you haven't said shit but I'm saying something and I'm pressing charges and getting full custody! While you on here arguing with me, you might wanna go get yo man from county and get money for a lawyer cause I can guarantee you I'm going to slaughter his ass in court!!!!

Before I could respond, my phone rang from a number I didn't recognize. I quickly answered, thinking the worst and knowing it could be Elijah.

"Hello?" I answered pacing the floor, as Mila watched my every move.

"Baby," Elijah sighed into the phone as my heart felt like it fell down to my stomach.

I knew something was wrong. The tone in his voice said it all, not to mention he called me baby and he was supposed to be mad at me.

"Baby?" Elijah spoke again.

"I'm here. What's wrong? What's going on? Lolo is on Instagram-"

"Fuck that ho. I need you to come bond me out. They got my bail set at fifty grand." Elijah spoke as I snatched up my keys and purse, quickly leaving the room.

"I'm coming baby, sit tight." I replied running downstairs.

"I love you man." Elijah spoke in a sincere tone.

"I love you too baby. I'm coming." I assured him, running out the front door.

❤️❤️❤️

"Can you tell me what's taking so long? I bonded him out five hours ago." I spoke in annoyance, to the lady at the desk.

She was too busy stuffing her mouth with white powdered doughnuts, and watching some shit on her phone. Of course she didn't care, and wasn't trying to hear anything I was saying.

I just wanted my man out, that's all.

The door buzzed, causing me to turn and see the door come open. Elijah stepped out holding his bag of belongings, not looking like himself at all.

I ran over to him, giving him a hug. He wrapped his arm around me, and rocked us back and forth.My hands roamed his body, making sure he came out the same way he went in. I wouldn't hesitate to sue these white folks about my man.

"You okay?" I asked looking up at him, seeing a few scratches on his face.

"I'm good." He assured me refusing to let me go.

He leaned down and kissed my lips, holding a hand full of my hair. The kiss was so strong, it scared me a little.

It was as if he was savoring these moments.

Elijah broke the kiss, and pulled me out of the station. I offered to drive, and he didn't argue.The ride home was filled with silence. Every so often I would look over at the bag in his hand, seeing his shirt that was covered in blood.

There was a few spots of blood on the wife beater he was sporting, but not as much as his other shirt. His knuckles were bruised, blue and purple and his hands had scratches as if someone was clawing at his skin.

I knew something happened between him and Lolo, but I didn't wanna pry and ask. Elijah would tell me in his own time.

When we got home, we both went upstairs to the room where he fell out on the bed. I went to the bathroom to run him a bath in our in floor tub.

Once the tub was full, Elijah came in the bathroom and stripped naked wasting no time climbing in. I watched as he shut his eyes, and relaxed after turning on the jets to keep the water warm.

I allowed him to have some time to hisself, while I went back to our bedroom and found him some clothes to sleep in. Afterwards I went downstairs, and decided to whip up something quick.

After I got dinner all ready, I went back upstairs to find Elijah still sitting in the tub appearing to be in deep thought. I let out a sigh, and dropped my clothes before stepping slowly into the water.

Once I was down in the tub, I walked over to Elijah and wrapped my arms around his neck. His fingertips slid up and down my back softly, before he wrapped his arm around me and buried his face in my neck.

The hug began to grow tighter, and small sniffled came from his nose as I let out a sigh and kissed his cheek.

"It's okay baby, let it out." I coached him, before he started to son into the crook of my neck while I rubbed his back.

I didn't know what was going on, nor did I care. I just that I was here.

I would always be here.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Reaching out for Elijah, I was greeted by the coldness of the silk sheets. My eyes opened, and I looked around as the moonlight crept in our bedroom.

I sat up looking at the clicking, noticing it was three in the morning. My eyes traveled to the French doors, and I saw Elijah sitting on our balcony.

Slipping out of bed, Elijah's wife beater fell down on my nude body as I crept outside. He was so zoned out, he didn't even feel my presence.

"Babe," I spoke softly, causing him to look up at me, "It's three in the morning, come back to bed."

"Can't sleep." He mumbled glancing at the iPad on the small table, showing footage of the nursery, Mila's room, and Halo's room who was home since Adonis dropped her off last night.

He grabbed my hand, and tugged at it gently asking me to sit in his lap. I wasted no time finding a seat on his lap, and laying my head on his chest.

I placed gentler kisses on his bare chest, as he rubbed my arm and rested his head on top of mine. It was peaceful, listening to the sound of crickets this time of morning along with the gentle breeze.

"I lost my shit yesterday. I'm sorry for not thinking of the kids and you, but I'm not sorry for beating that bitch ass. If her neighbor wouldn't have called the police, she would be dead." Elijah assured me.

"Baby what happened? What did she do?" I asked curiously.

"I went and met with my lawyer yesterday. He starts telling me about this case, then proceeds to tell me that they noticed Halo's hospital records from when she was born was missing from her tests. Come to find out, Lolo paid her doctor to hide the records because she had been drinking during her pregnancy. If the doctor would've kept it on file, they would've reported her to dcf. Long story short, she the reason my baby deaf." Elijah confessed, letting out a breath he had been holding.

I shook my head, not knowing what to say. A million different scenarios played in my mind, of all the things that could have happened to Halo.

She could've been brain dead, blind, born with Down syndrome, etc. Things could've been worse.Tears began to swell my eyes, as a burning sensation of hate sat in my chest. Lolo had me so tight right now, it wasn't even funny.

Halo was Innocent in all of this, and yet her dumb ass decisions affected her for the rest of her life.

How do you live with yourself knowing you're the reason your daughter is going deaf?

A warm tear fell on my nose, causing me to look up at Elijah who had his lips tucked and his eyes shut. I could feel my baby's pain.

"My baby scarred for the rest of her life behind this shit. It ain't shit I can do about it." He spoke with his voice cracking.

"It could've been worse babe." I tried to reason, drying his tears, "And although you can't do anything, at least you tried and you've been going through this process with her trying to make her as comfortable as she can be. You made the effort, you're not the deadbeat."

We sat in silence, just holding each other. I was just as hurt as Elijah was, Halo was apart of me too.

"Thank you." Elijah spoke kissing my forehead, "Thank you for being there when I need you, and for being my voice of reason."

I smiled small, and cuddled close to his chest.

"I know we need to talk about us-"

"It's cool. We'll get to it." I assured him, rubbing the side of his face.

Elijah leaned down and pecked my lips, while I returned the peck staring at him. We pecked each other's lips again, and again until I straddled his lap resulting in him removing the shirt from my body.

The cool air caused goosebumps to form on my skin, as Elijah kissed my neck making his way down to my chest. I let out a low breath, before taking my bottom lip into my mouth as he licked and sucked on my breasts.

I could feel his manhood poking from underneath me, resulting in a pulsating feeling between my thighs. With each kiss and touch, my inner walls grew wetter sliding from my inner walls down on Elijah's basketball shorts.

Elijah lifted us briefly, pushing his basketball shorts down until they fell to his ankles causing his hard member to poke at my entrance. I practically whined at the feeling, not wanting to beg although I wanted to feel it inside me so bad.

Us wanting each other in any type of way was worse than drugs.

Elijah took his manhood sliding it gently against my wet folds in a teasing manner, smirking at the sight of my juices sticking to him and he hadn't even slid inside me. Positioning himself at a stand still, he guided me down on his manhood bringing out a small gasp escape my lips.

It had been so long, I felt like a born again virgin who was having her walls torn apart. I pushed on his chest, as he pushed me further down.

As my walls adjusted to his length, I let out a breath of air and stared at Elijah who stared at me in return massaging his fingertips in my waist. Sliding a hand from my waist to my neck, Elijah wrapped his hand around it pulling me forward kissing me with tongue as a series of butterflies fluttered inside my stomach.

With the other hand, he slapped my ass demanding that I start riding him in which I began to slowly roll my hips while I stared at Elijah with low eyes.

"I love you forever." He whispered as our lips touched a little.

"I love you too." I replied letting out a gasp as he thrusted upward, with a strong stroke.

It felt good to be home.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"Rhyan." I heard a little whisper.

"Hmm?" I groaned feeling like I had been hit with a ton of bricks as my hair laid disheveled on my head.

I can't remember how long me and Elijah were up last night/this morning but it was late. We went from the balcony, to the floor in our room, the wall, and eventually to the bed.

All I knew was I was sore, and exhausted.

"So I was walking by the nursery, and the twins crawled out the crib. Ain't that something?"

The voice spoke, as I recognized it belonged to Halo.

My face frowned up in confusion, knowing my damn near five month old kids were not crawling out cribs. I immediately shot up in bed, seeing Halo holding Brix damn near about to toss him over her shoulder, and an arm around Hev's neck trying not to drop her.

"Oh my God!" I screeched grabbing Hev who was giving me help me eyes.

"You need to stop being dramatic. She not dead." Halo spoke with her upper lip curled, patting Brix on the back as he continued to lay his mouth on her cheek liking the noise he made.

"Well she was almost there." I sighed grabbing Brix, laying him next to Hev, "Halo you can't handle both of them like us. And don't take them both out the crib. Wait until me and your daddy gets them out."

"Fine, can you put on some clothes? Nobody wants to see you naked." Halo said pointing to my naked chest.

I sighed pulling the sheets up to my chest, as Elijah walked in the room looking between us.

He let out a sigh, and ran a hand down his face.

"What I tell you about waking people up out they sleep just cause you up?" He asked Halo.

"I didn't even wake nobody up." She said throwing her hands up in the air.

"The twins crawled out of their crib." I spoke with sarcasm, placing their pacifiers in their mouth and rubbing their stomach watching them drift off to sleep.

"Get yo ass downstairs and eat breakfast so you can get ready for school." Elijah spoke as Halo mimicked him, and headed for the door.

Elijah popped her upside the head, and mugged her as she frowned and rubbed her head leaving the room. He walked over taking a seat on the bed, leaning over kissing my forehead.

"You okay?" I asked him, as he nodded.

"Still mad, I'll live though." He assured me as I stroked the side of his face.

"It'll be okay. Going to work today?" I asked noticing he was dressed.

"Yeah, you got them?" He asked looking at the twins.

"Of course. They can come help me at the store. I got a few things I gotta handle before the opening." I spoke looking at the time.

"When is that?" Elijah asked me.

"Few days." I admitted as he nodded his head.

"Mhm. I'll see you later, be good to my kids." He spoke kissing them both.

"They're mine too." I argued as he laughed as if that was a joke.

"They mine. I gotta go meet with my lawyer and see what he gon' do about these charges now. He was already filing for full custody but I think I fucked that up, hopefully we figure something out. Let's do lunch later." Elijah spoke grabbing my face. "I. Love. You." He spoke between kisses.

"I love you too." I replied watching him leave our room.

I had so much to do today, so I had to get ready now.

❤️❤️❤️

After handling stuff for the store, I took the twins to Alejandro so I could handle this one last thing. I didn't want them around in case things got physical.

I stared at Lolo's house for another moment, before getting out of the car. Hitting the locks, I walked up the walkway and rang her doorbell adjusting my engagement ring before looking at my watch for the time.

"I'm about to call the police Rhyan!" She yelled from the other side making me roll my eyes.

"Girl nobody's going to touch you. I need to talk to you!" I spoke growing annoyed.

Lolo weighted her options, before cracking the door and eyeing me. I stared at her in return, as she cracked the door open wider displaying her bruised face.

She was fucked up, but it could've been worse. At least she wasn't looking like Rihanna after Chris Brown whooped her ass.

I invited myself inside, and took in how nice it looked and smelled. Of course she had high end furniture in here, that looked even better than the furniture we had.

Hers was in different shapes and colors. I knew one of these chairs alone was $1200 because I ran across it when we were doing the nursery.

"Did he send you to apologize? Because I'm still pressing charges." She voiced folding her arms.

"No, he doesn't even know I'm here. Listen, we don't have time for this court shit. You're cutting into work, and the time we spend with our kids. We just want what's best for Halo, and frankly we're what's best for her at the moment." I said as Lolo looked at me in disbelief.

"How the hell you figure?" Lolo asked getting offended.

"I won't even go there with you today, cause there's a list of shit. The only reason I'm here is for Halo. Elijah is filing for full custody, so I just came over to tell you to make it easier on yourself and sign over your rights." I spoke with a shrug.

"I'm convinced this nigga has been knocking your little ass around, or you're just retarded because I'm not signing over shit." She spoke with attitude.

"You either sign your rights over, or go to jail for child endangerment being that you were drinking while you were pregnant and YOU'RE the reason Halo is deaf." I said watching her face soften, wondering how I knew what I knew.

In all honesty, it didn't matter how I knew what I knew. At the end of the day, my only concern was Halo and I felt she needed to be around people who actually cared about her wellbeing.

Since the beginning of this process, me and Elijah have been there for her and tried to make the right accommodations. Meanwhile Lo brushed it off as if it was nothing, and didn't care about how Halo felt.

And it wasn't just me or Elijah on the outside looking in. This was the words from our four year old, crying to us saying her mommy didn't care.

"Don't drag this to court. Cause you're just going to end up in jail, and Elijah is going to get full comes to get regardless. Even if you do drop the charges, the state will pick it up and he'll do a little time but that's something we can both live. Halo is what we want." I spoke as tears swarmed in Lolo's eyes.

"Y'all can't keep me away from my baby." She sniffed.

"I'm sure we won't. I'm only a step-mama remember?" I smirked at her.

Lolo rolled her eyes, and chewed her lip before pacing her floor.

"What I gotta do?" She asked me.

❤️❤️❤️

"You late Oompa Loompa." Elijah teased as I walked to the table.

"I know, things ran over with inventory. How's your day going baby?" I asked kissing his lips, before taking a seat.

"I don't know. My lawyer saying even if Lo drop the charges, the state might pick it up. I'm looking at six months to a year. That's too long to be separated from you and the kids. I can't leave all these businesses on you." Elijah sighed rubbing his head.

"We'll make due. Text your lawyer and ask him to ask the court on your behalf for thirty days in county, you pay Lo's medical expenses, and sixty days in anger management." I smiled as Elijah stared at me, while I looked over my menu, "I deserve a steak, I've been closing deals all day."

"Should've been a damn lawyer." Elijah mumbled doing as I told him to do.

"Ehh, never liked school. It was either start my own thing with fashion, join the family business, or become a scammer." I winked at him as he laughed.

Our waitress came over and took our orders. Handing the menus over after we were done, she walked away going to get us drinks and rolls.

Elijah grabbed Brix out his car seat, while I left Hev in hers because she was sleep. I stared at the two in a loving manner, as Elijah planned Brix's whole life making Brix laugh.

"You miss me while I was gone?" I asked curiously.

Elijah glanced at me, and looked down at Brix messing with his hair. I tried to lay the shit down, but it curled right up on the top of his head.

"I always miss you when you gone, even when I'm mad." He spoke making me smile a little.

"Well I missed you and the kids. It's hard sleeping without you." I admitted as he looked up at me, while Brix tried to bite him with his toothless ass.

"Imagine how I felt. I honestly was hurt, cried a lil bit, tried to convince myself it was over, prayed about it, just couldn't let go. I hate how much I love you sometimes. I know our shit won't be perfect, but when we keep doing the same shit over and over again something gotta give." Elijah tried to reason.

"I know. And I'm sorry for my actions lately. I'm still trying to get out of this selfish mentality. I need to be considerate of your feelings as well, because you don't deserve to be with somebody who sneaks behind your back and does things or lies. Nor do you deserve to be hit, or have somebody that does childish things to get your attention." I spoke sincerely, "I'm so sorry. I don't want to make you feel like less of a man, or give you hell. I'm supposed to be your peace. I've even been thinking we should try counseling, if you're willing."Elijah just starred at me, before grabbing my hand placing a kiss on it.

"I'm trying to have faith in you, because you had faith in me. You gotta do better moving forward, aight?" He spoke as I nodded.

"No more drinking, fighting, and tattoos of other people's name." I giggled as he shook his head.

"I love you fat girl." He smirked.

"I love you too." I smiled at him.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"Thank you for coming out." I smiled giving someone a hug.

Today was the grand opening of my store. I thought this day would be exciting for me, but inside I wasn't happy.

It was probably because Elijah wasn't here.

"Rhyan this is so nice." Brae spoke looking around, sipping on wine, "I'm bout to rack up on some lingerie too honey. You know me and Adonis trying for another baby and even though I won't have it in long, I'll look really nice in it."

I giggled at her, and shook my head. The girl was still as crazy as the day I met her.

"Well thank you. You guys okay?" I asked Brae, Santana, Benji, and O'Neil.

As usual, Alejandro was missing in action. He, and Elijah were the only ones missing.Adonis was taking pictures for the grand opening.

"Girl we fine. Stop worrying yourself. Where's Eli?" O'Neil questioned.

I shrugged, trying not to let my emotions show. Disappointment wa burning me up inside, because I wanted his support although I went about things the wrong way.

"Rhy," Benji spoke holding Santana by the waist who couldn't stop smiling for no damn reason, "You plan on doing something for men?"

"Ooh that would be dope. Make your own line of briefs and boxers, for well hung men." O'Neil spoke wiggling his eyebrows.

"Yes, cause some people need it." Santana spoke before sipping her wine with a smile as Benji playfully bit her neck.

"They're so cute." Brae whispered as I shook my head.

"Thanks you guys, now my head is rolling with ideas." I spoke as the bell to the store chimed.

Looking towards the door, I saw Elijah walk in looking around for me. When his eyes landed on me, he smiled big making my heart skip a beat.

He had a big bouquet of pink roses, and balloons. I was almost in tears.

I walked over trying to hold myself together, while taking in his appearance. A maroon short sleeve button down hugged his torso, that he paired with peanut butter pants that were slightly sagging, and a pair of maroon Nike Air Force One duck boots.

He wore his hold chains and bracelet, looking simple but overall fine. I could tell he had a fresh haircut, and that just made my mouth water.

"I thought you weren't coming." I pouted standing in front of him, as his eyes roamed my frame.

I wore a black Sass and Bibe bin harness, with leather Dolce and Gabanna leggings, and a pair of black and gold Saint Laurent heels. My gold Tiffany's bracelets Elijah got me for my birthday rested on my wrist, matching my gold hoop earrings that was hiding underneath my straightened hair.

"You know better than that." Elijah said kissing his teeth, pulling me close and kissing my head making me smile uncontrollably as Adonis snapped a picture of us.

I took the roses and balloons from his hand, and smiled uncontrollably while grabbing the card. Flipping the card open, I looked at Elijah who was looking down at me.

When you can't look on the bright side, I will sit in the dark with you. Congrats baby.

- Daddy

"Awwww, thank you baby." I coped giving him a hug.

"You welcome bumblebee." He teases squeezing my butt while I frowned.

"You just had to fuck up the moment." I kissed my teeth, as Coco walked over and grabbed my flowers and balloons from me.

The rest of the night was a success. We stayed until everyone left, and the cleaning people cleaned before leaving as well.

I hit the lights, as Elijah sat in one of the chairs on his phone waiting on me so we could go home. Mila had all the kids, and I was hoping they hadn't tied her up and beat her ass.

"Come on baby." I spoke walking towards the door.

Elijah followed, and we both stepped outside on the sidewalk. Locking up, I turned around looking for our car.

I rode with Adonis and Brae.

There was a black panaramic two door Porsche, with a big red bow on it. I looked over at Elijah, as held up the keys for me.

"You're gonna make me cry." I spoke fanning my eyes.

"Start crying and I'm taking the car back." He warned me, causing me to straighten up.

"I was just playing, thank you baby." I smiled kissing his lips, while taking the keys from him.

"You welcome. Why you ain't wear a skirt? We could've made this an exciting ride home." Elijah teased as we walked to the car.

"Elijah get in the car." I laughed waving him off.

"Fine man, but its lit when we get home." He warned me.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

|S A N T A N A|

I smiled big as I looked around my bedroom. It was so big and pretty, and the thing I loved the most was I got a new balcony and it was bigger.

In a sense, my home reminded me a lot of Sheree from Real House Wives of Atlanta.

"You gon' stand up here all day?" Benji asked coming through the door.

"I'm just taking in our room. I can't wait to break in this new bed." I smiled standing on the bed doing a little twerk.

"You keep saying you don't want a baby right now, but you reaching." He warned, as I blushed stepping down off the bed.

"I'll keep that in mind. You get the boys beds set up?" I asked wrapping my arms around his waist.

"Levi got hungry." Benji spoke rolling his eyes, "Can you whip us up something quick?"

"Sure." I spoke pecking his lips, stepping around him slowly while looking him up and down.

"See what I'm talking about." He spoke slapping me on the butt.

The house phone rang, and we both began running towards the stairs. We laughed trying to push each other out the way, to get to the house phone.

When we reached the bottom stair, Benji threw me over his shoulder and ran with me making me laugh uncontrollably. I don't know why this was so funny, but it was.

Benji grabbed the phone, and put me on my feet handing it to me. I looked at the caller I.D seeing Zai was calling, so I answered.

"I'ma go finish unpacking some of these boxes." He spoke kissing my forehead, while I nodded listening to the automated system.

Accepting the call, I waited for Zai to come on the line.

"Wussup big head?" Zai teased as I smiled small.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked staring at my wedding ring.

"I'm good. Congrats." Zai spoke in a sincere tone.

"Thank you." I replied as Zayden came in the house moon walking to the pantry. "You better not! No zebra cakes until after you eat."

"But ma!" He whined poking out his lip, "Me and Chris is starving. We been moving stuff all day."

"Well you and Chris can wait until after lunch." I argued as he sighed, while Benji stopped down and said something that made him nod.

"Moving stuff? You redecorating?" Zaire asked me.

"No, we moved into our new home." I spoke feeling a bit bad. "I still have the house for you."

"Oh," Zai spoke lowly and cleared his throat, "How the boys been?"

"Good. Nasir's birthday is coming up, so I'm planning that and he's been hounding me about playing baseball. Zayden just wants to be fat and happy." I shrugged as he chuckled.

"Chris still around?" He asked.

"Unfortunately. I won't hold you up, I'll let you talk to Zayden first." I spoke with a smile, "Zay, your daddy is on the phone."

He quickly ran over to the phone, grinning from ear to ear. This boy loved Zaire so much.

"Hey best friend!" He cheered walking in the backyard, so he could be next to Nasir so they could both talk to Zaire.

"What do you think about doing the kitchen in a metallic navy blue or orange?" I asked Benji as he unpacked plates, while I prepared to fix us a light lunch.

"Orange. You don't see a lot of orange kitchens." He spoke as I smiled.

"I like the way you think." I winked at him, making him laugh.

"I'm having a clothes drive and giving food to the homeless this weekend at the church. Can you come?" Benji asked me.

"Of course I'll be there. Don't forget Nasir's birthday is next weekend." I reminded him, as his phone rang.

"I got it noted baby." He said staring at the screen, before answering, "Des is Facetiming me."

Kobi entered the kitchen, and let out a sigh taking a seat at the island. He looked exhausted, so I gave him a water.

"Preciate this sis. Yo kids know they will run somebody raggedy." He spoke as Zayden came back in the house, putting the phone on the charger.

"Umm Kobi, why you in here? You gotta help us, don't be lazy. If my fat self can move and Levi fat self can move, yo skinny tail can move too. Nobody's paying you to be lazy." Zayden ranted before walking outside.

"His lil smart mouth ass better be a doctor or something." Kobi mumbled while I giggled watching him leave.

I looked over at Benji, seeing the look of confusion on his face. Walking over I placed my chin on his shoulder, and saw that he wasn't on FaceTime alone.

Lina, Nolan, and Des were all sitting on the couch together staring at the camera. They all looked like something was wrong.

"Hey everybody." I smiled at the three.

They all spoke back, and I walked away not wanting to be in the business. While I cooked lunch, the four talked on FaceTime until Benji ended the call and took a seat at the island looking stressed.

"What's wrong boo?" I asked with a slight frown.

"Des wants to come stay with us. I'm just a little upset, that Lina's upset cause he wants to come back here. He's not happy there, and they've done everything that they can to try to make him feel home but it's not working. That's her only child, and that's a lot of responsibility." Benji tried to reason.

"You had him for a few months, and that went well." I reminded him.

"I know," Benji sighed, "I told them I would have to talk to you and the boys, it's our home."

"Who coming to stay? They can't sleep in my bed." Zayden complained as Kobi carried him in the house on his neck.

"We just moved in." Nasir added with annoyance.

"Desmond wants to come back." I told the two, watching their eyes light up.

"Oh, well Des can stay. I like Des." Zayden smiled.

"You like anybody that gives you food." Nasir responded as Zayden shot him a look.

"Well now you know why I don't like you." Zayden argued while Kobi and Levi laughed.

"Hey, cut it out. I'm not saying it no more today." Benji spoke as the kitchen went quiet, "Y'all argue like y'all grown."

"Yes sir." They both chimed, as I looked at him in disbelief.

"How'd you do that?" I asked him, because I couldn't get the two to stop arguing for nothing.

"I said what I said, and I meant what I said." Benji spoke as I stared at him feeling Niagra falls in the seat of my panties.

"Jesus it's a daddy." I mumbled under my breath, making him smirk.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"You're married!" Dr. Johnson smiled at me, "Congrats."

"Thank you." I cooed showing him the ring.

"I'm just," He took a breath, "Wow. I don't know what to say. How's everything? How do you feel?"

"Good actually, really good." I smiled crossing my legs, "Just knowing that he genuinely loves me and the kids makes me happy. People had a lot to say about us getting married but, they can kiss my ass."

"Oooou," Dr. Johnson teased, "Who had a lot to say? Was it Zaire's family?"

"No, Benji's church members. They seem to be more concerned about our relationship, than the Bible scriptures.

Apparently I'm not fit to be the First Lady for the church." I explained as Dr. Johnson rubbed his chin.

"Why? I think you're pretty dope." Dr. Johnson shrugged.

"Well thank you. Apparently I can't wear my hair any color I want, and I can't have a normal life with my friends. They talked about my pictures on Instagram, saying I was showing too much skin. They want me to dress like a grandma, and be messy in the church like them but I think not. It doesn't matter what I wear, this ass ain't going no where. My husband likes it, and they can kick rocks if they don't like it." I huffed folding my arms.

"I say that's a W for you Santana, you on a roll today." Dr. Johnson chuckled writing something down, "What did Benji have to say?"

"He went off, in a Christian way." I clarified as Dr. Johnson laughed at me.

"To his church members?" He asked, while I nodded.

"I thought the same thing to too, BUT he said he wasn't going to allow anybody to disrespect me." I smiled as Dr. Johnson nodded.

"This man really loves you and worships the ground you walk on." He said staring at me, as I blushed.

"I feel the same way. I don't feel pressured to be something I'm not with him." I sighed with a smile, "Even the sex is amazing."

"Sex? You guys had sex?" He asked with his eyes about to fall out his head.

"Oh yes. I never came so much in my life." I admitted having flashbacks, which reminded me that we needed to break our bed in.

"That's a triple W for you." He laughed as a knock sounded at his door.

The door slowly came open, and my mom stepped inside with a small smile. She looked nice, her hair pulled back in a tight ponytail.

Since I was in such a good space, I decided to hear her out one last time.

She greeted the both of us, before taking a seat on the couch next to me. We started off with light conversation, which was mainly me talking about my new life.

Dr. Johnson was trying to make us all comfortable, before bringing up the past. I was just hoping she didn't piss me off this time.

So when he started to ask her questions about the incident with Larissa, I cringed a little bit. It seemed to upset my mom, because she started to cry a little.

"I know the last time we talked about this I said she lied, but that wasn't the truth. Honestly, I was still beating myself up for letting something like that happen to her. She was a child, and she had her innocence snatched away from her by someone that should have loved and protected her. Knowing that I didn't protect her, it really ate away at me and I've felt guilty about it for years." She admitted, as I exhaled.

Hearing that she blamed herself, made me feel something for her. I knew that feeling being a mother myself.

Nasir fell once, and had to get stitches above his eye. I never stopped blaming myself, because I wasn't outside to catch him when he fell.

But I realized, as a parent you can't be there all the time.

"I'm just glad you acknowledged it." I smiled giving her a hug.

We decided to do a few more sessions together, before trying to hang out. She wanted to see the kids, but it would be a while before we got there.

I didn't trust my kids with everybody, and trust takes time.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Me, and Nasir sat at Steak and Shake eating cheese fries, milk shakes and burgers. Well he had a burger, I just had cheese fries.

I picked him up from school, so we could get some alone time. Plus we needed to do some planning for his birthday.

"So do you want Spider man, or Superman for your birthday party?" I asked him as he sat with his mouth full.

"I want Spider man, but I want the black one." He spoke as I nodded and lifted an eyebrow.

"Why?" I asked, not really liking that one.

"He's cool." He shrugged while I decided to just let it go.

"I'm going to get your invitations done tonight, and you can give them out to your classmates tomorrow and your friends at the dojo." I informed him, as he nodded.

"Can I have a telescope for my birthday?" He asked me, "I like looking at the stars."

"I think I can work something out." I smiled at him, "So how do you like Benji living with us?"

"It's cool. He really cares about us." He smiled at me, while I nodded agreeing.

"Benji has y'all spoiled, that's why you said that." I spoke as he laughed agreeing.

"Is Des really going to come stay with us?" He asked curiously.

"Yeah, he should be here next week." I admitted staring at Nasir.

It was hard to believe my boy was about to be seven years old. Time was flying.

I still remember, when I became his mother after Nylah died. I'm sure if she was alive, she would be proud of him.

He was such a good kid, respectful, smart, and helpful.

"Mommy?" Nasir spoke snapping me from my thoughts.

"Yes?" I spoke wiping cheese off his mouth.

He stared at me for a moment, and let out a sigh. I watched him look at his hands, before looking at me.

"I don't want you to be mad at me but, I know you're not my real mom." He informed as my mouth grew dry all of a sudden.

I didn't know how to respond to that, or how to even take it.

"But, it's okay because even though we're not blood related you are my mom and I still love you. I was just curious and wanted to know where my real mom is and why she doesn't want me." He spoke with sadness, "I like living with you and being your son, but I just wanna know."

Tears had managed to creep into my eyes, while I sat trying to process this. Me and Zaire had so many talks about how one day we would tell Nasir about this, but now that the day was here I was at a loss for words.

Dabbing at my eyes with a napkin, I rubbed my lips together and tried to find the words. It was hard trying to talk to a child about these kind of things.

"It's not that your mommy doesn't want you, she just took a trip to heaven. She's watching over you." I assured him as he nodded in an understanding way.

"Well how did she end up there? Was she in an accident?" He asked while I shrugged, wanting to leave this part for Zaire.

He could tell him what he wanted, but I didn't want any parts.

Regardless of the situation this was still my son, and it's been that way since the beginning. It would remain that way until the end.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

|B R A E L Y N N|

"Don't cut too much off the top Benji, Adonis is already going to have a fit I'm cutting it but his hair is too long. He can't see." I spoke as Benji used scissors to cut Aj's hair as I held him.

"It's hair, it'll grow back. I been trying to convince Zay to let me cut that mess off the top of his head, talking about he want dreads." Benji smacked his lips while I giggled.

"That's your step-son." I reminded him as he sighed.

"Boy do I know it. He reminds me every time he wants something, and says he's my FAVORITE step-son. I honestly don't know what we gonna do with him. He call hisself trying to help me plan my sermon for church on Sunday, told me I need to put in there people need to stop fake falling out at church." Benji went on to tell me, while I shook my head.

People could say what they wanted about my little Zay Bae, but he was always speaking the truth.

After Benji finished up, I paid him and me and AJ headed to Adonis' office even though he had a shoot today at the aquarium. I was going to meet with the production team, so I could set a clear direction for the way I wanted his documentary done.

When we got there, I noticed everyone sitting in the meeting room waiting for and AJ. He was too focused on sucking his bottle, getting ready to fall asleep.

He and Adonis had been up playing since the wee hours of morning, making me want to choke the hell out of both of them. Making all that damn noise as if I don't need my beauty rest.

"Hi everybody." I smiled at everyone, as they greeted me in return.

I sat Aj's car seat in a empty chair, and began to walk around the room shaking everyone's hand as well as noting their names. The person in charge of the documentary was Ellis, but it was nice to get to know the other ones as well.

Taking a seat, I adjusted my shirt and folded my hands. I was ready for business.

"So tell me, what do you guys have planned so far?" I asked curiously.

"Well for starters, I wanna make this film feel relate-able. I want the audience to feel like they know him, and can relate to some parts of him. So I wanna document every unscripted moment. I'll play around with clips, and decide which one is best to use. Nothing will be scripted, I want people to say hey that really happened versus that was so scripted. Don't you guys feel that way when you watch what is supposed to be reality television?" Ellis asked everyone who began to mumble things.

"I love it. What stories do you guys want to touch on?" I asked as he slid over a paper with an outline of the stories.

"I was thinking we can start with the child hood, that is what normally molds a person. Then we can skip to the teen years which is when a person goes through changes. And then we'll make our way to his adult years. We wanna hear how he made it this far, the road blocks, set backs, people who influenced him." Ellis continued on, while I nodded.

I liked his drive. Ellis was really on his shit.

"Let's talk about the people we'll be interviewing. So far I have you, his mom, grandmother, and brothers. Speaking of brothers, we are trying to get permission from the warden to let us come in and film instead of having to go through all the audio tape. I'll keep you guys posted on that." Ellis spoke writing something down.

"I want his secretary Charity interviewed because she's been with him for a while, and there's about two people in the industry we can get to speak for him." I spoke watching Ellis jot down notes.

"What do you guys think of stunt doubles to act out the scenes of the stories he tells?" Reynaldo, one of the team members asked.

"Ehh, no offense but I think that's corny. Imagination is key, so let the audience have their own visual. It'll keep them intrigued." I spoke as Ellis agreed.

"I like you, ever thought of being in film?" He asked with a smile, while I shook my head no.

"Anything that has my husband's name on the line, just has to be perfect. I'm a mother and a wife, so I handle these type of things." I smiled as he nodded.

For another thirty minutes, we sat discussing other things. Backdrops for confessionals, makeup, hair, lighting, areas where we would shoot, etc.

I was so excited for all of this, like it was my documentary. Now I had to go home and find all of me and Adonis' pictures from over the years, along with home videos.

Then I would link up with Ava, and grandma Alice for childhood photos. This was going to be amazing.

❤️❤️❤️

I stood at the island preparing lunch for Amaris, while she sat in the living room with Doctor Johnson. The two were sitting on the floor, trying to put a puzzle together which was something she liked to do with Adonis or sometimes on her own.

Adonis came home early for work for this, and he was sitting at the bar with AJ watch the two. I could tell by the look on his face, he wasn't too happy our baby girl had to see a therapist.

"Is chicken pesto panini okay baby?" I asked Adonis, catching his attention for a moment.

"That's fine. What's for dinner?" He asked as I tilted my head.

Here we are talking lunch, and he wants to talk dinner too.

"Me." I smirked as he eyed me, and cracked a smile.

"That's dessert." He spoke as AJ sneezed, "Bless you man."

"Does he feel a little warm to you?" I asked curiously.

"Yeah. I think he getting a cold. We should check his temp." He spoke as AJ rubbed his nose, and laid his head on Adonis' chest.

It was so cute, although he looked miserable.

"His thermometer is in his back, but you have to stick it up his butt." I reminded him as Adonis looked at me as if I lost my mind.

"Hell the fuck no! What kind of shit is that?" He asked in disbelief. "Trying to take my son manhood away from him. Yo mama don' lost her rabbit ass mind."

"Adonis, that's the most accurate way to get the right temp. It only goes in an inch." I reasoned as he shook his head.

"We'll get you some Tylenol. You better fight this shit AJ, cause I'm not fucking with no rectal thermometer." Adonis scolded him as he sneezed and coughed.

"It's your fault. You wanna have the air on blizzard at night." I reminded him.

"Girl its hot as hell outside, it needs to be cold in here." He responded as AJ whined and pulled on his shirt, "I know son son."

"So tell me about school Genesis." Dr. Johnson spoke catching me and Adonis' attention.

"It was good. I go to school from home now, with Zayden and Halo. Those are my cousins." She spoke with a smile.

"Sounds like fun. I went to school from home as well, do you like it?" Dr. Johnson asked her.

"Yeah. I don't have to be around mean kids." Genesis spoke as I pouted a little.

"Yeah, mean kids are bad. I had a mean kid push me down one day." Dr. Johnson spoke as Genesis looked up at him.

"Well did you push him back? You too big to be getting pushed around." She spoke as Adonis tried not to laugh, while I frowned at him.

"Should I have pushed him back?" He asked her.

"Yeah. My daddy said if somebody hit you, you hit them back." Amaris shrugged looking for puzzles pieces to match.

Dr. Johnson looked over at Adonis, who began to whistle and look around the room.

"Well I didn't push him back, but it made me angry. Do you get angry?" Dr. Johnson asked her.

"Sometimes. I got angry at Zayden one day because he was teasing me, and I hit him in the face and started to punch him in the head. I didn't mean to do it though, I know I hurt his feelings." She said sadly studying a puzzle piece.

"I think he knows you didn't mean it. When I get mad sometimes, I do stuff and I forget and it makes me feel bad when I realize what I did." Dr. Johnson spoke as Amaris perked up.

"Me too! I just see red colors, and when I calm down I start to cry because I did a bad thing. It's scary Mr. Johnson." She spoke, "And sometimes, sometimes I think people are talking about me but they're not but I think they are so I get angry and wanna hit them."

"Oh fuck." Adonis spoke rubbing his eyes, leaving the room.

I quickly cleaned my hands, and followed behind him.

"Baby," I spoke as he walked outside.

The Florida sun beamed down on us, as he stood trying to control his emotions.

"It's my fault, I didn't mean to mess our baby up like that Brae." He spoke in a sympathetic tone.

"It's not your fault baby. She's going to be fine. You're fine, everything is going to be okay. Please come back inside." I begged pecking his lips.

"How you gonna deal with two of us?" He asked as I held his hand.

"I'm built for this." I assured him pulling him back inside.

We walked back to the kitchen, and I washed my hands while Adonis reclaimed his seat. For another hour we listened to Dr. Johnson and Amaris talk.

She talked about us a lot, and how she loved us and AJ. It was honestly cute.

"Well?" Adonis spoke as we stood at the door with Dr. Johnson.

We'd just had lunch, and now he was leaving to prepare for another session.

"She definitely has a paranoid personality disorder." Dr. Johnson spoke as Adonis sighed.

"What do you think of meds? We don't want anything that's going to make her turn into a zombie." I said rubbing Adonis' arm.

"I'll give her a low dosage, but she'll be fine. She's a very bright young lady, and she's very passionate for such a young age. My concern is when she gets older. People may take advantage of how nice she is, and when she catches on she may flip like she does from time to time. We're going to keep a close eye on her. She'll be fine." Dr. Johnson assured us before walking out the door.

Amaris came into the foyer, biting into her sandwich.

"Did you enjoy yourself with Mr. Johnson baby?" I asked trying not to cry.

"Yeah. We have a lot in common mommy." She smiled as I gave a faint one and looked at Adonis.

He had his head thrown back, trying not to let tears fall.

"Daddy, can you build me a treehouse?" Amaris asked Adonis.

"You can have whatever you want baby." He spoke with his voice cracking, and he cleared his throat.

"Yay! I gotta tell Halo." Amaris danced running off to the living room.

I'd never forget this day. Ever.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

"Man, we haven't been to Shoreline in a minute." Darius spoke in the passenger seat.

Today I was taking Amaris, Halo, Zayden, and Nasir to the beach. AJ was with grandma Alice, and Rhyan had the twins.

"I know. I been craving one of these salads for the longest." I spoke as Darius gave me a side eye.

"You pregnant again?" He asked me.

"Trying to be. Which reminds me, can you watch the kids tonight?" I asked him, as he shook his head.

"Nope, going out tonight." He spoke as I frowned.

"What kind of uncle are you?" I asked pulling up to the store that had a deli.

"One without kids." He smiled as I flicked him off and parked the car.

"I'll go get the food. I don't wanna take all these kids in here, some of them have sticky fingers." I spoke eyeing Halo through the mirror.

"Auntie Brae, I don't steal anymore." Halo spoke as Darius chuckled.

"Well who stole my ten dollars when I was over yo house?" Zayden asked side eyeing her.

"Blanket Jr., cause Promise doesn't steal." Halo shrugged as Zayden flicked her nose and she slapped him.

"Well shit. She definitely belongs to Eli." Darius laughed.

"Keep your hands to yourself, both of you." I warned the two.

"You better get your niece auntie Brae, I'm not the one." Zayden warned folding his arms.

I looked at Genesis, who rested her head on Nasir's arm, watching him play Candy Crush. She had been quiet all day, since I gave her the medicine Dr. Johnson sent to the pharmacy and I got it filled last night.

"You okay Amaris?" I asked as she looked at me and smiled.

"Yes mommy, are you okay? You need a hug?" She asked me.

"She's daughter goals bro. She so sweet." Darius fake cried as I slapped him upside the head.

"Keep your hands to yourself Aunt Brae." Halo and Zayden said at the same time, before laughing.

"Keep on Ren and Stimpy, and y'all gon' be starving." I smiled at the two.

"Halo, stop. I gotta stay fat and happy, I can't afford to miss a meal." Zayden tried to whisper.

"She can't do that. We can call dcf, like grandma did on that girl cross the street." Halo spoke as my mouth fell open.

"The stripper?" Zayden asked as I looked at Darius who was sitting there with his mouth open.

"Yeah. Grandma say she wasn't feeding her kids." Halo shrugged.

I quickly got out the car, cause them kids was too damn much.

Walking inside the store, I went to the back where the deli was and stood in line. I waited patiently, until it always my turn and ordered sandwiches along with salads for me and Darius.

While I waited on my food to be made, I grabbed some chips, drinks, and other snacks for the kids. By the time I was done the food was made, and I took it up front so I could pay.

As soon as I sat the food down, someone stood behind me and spoke. "Put it on my tab."

Turning around, I noticed it was Navadius and quickly cursed under my breath. He looked me up and down like I was some type of snack, making my skin crawl as I clutched my purse.

"You look like you seem a ghost, you don't miss me?" He asked with a smile.

"Do yourself a favor, and leave me alone." I warned him.

"What you mean? I was just in the neighborhood getting a sandwich and-"

"You're a damn lie! Just like you lied about me on that song." I spoke as he stared at me.

"You know it's the truth." He spoke lowly.

"No, it's a lie. You wasn't all that." I spoke watching his light brown orbs grow dark before they flickered back to being light.

"You just talking. Let's go somewhere and talk for old times sake." He spoke grabbing my hand, that I quickly snatched away from him.

I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my wrist too tight for my liking. That resulted in me pulling out my mace, and maxing him watching him scream.

I wasted no time running out the store, saying fuck that food in the process.

Adonis was going to kill this man.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Instead of going to the beach, I came back home and made the kids some food and let them run around the backyard. Adonis had a small playground out back now, and the kids seemed to love that.

I was going to talk to him about Navadius when he got home, because I didn't want him getting upset.

Kensie had been on my mind lately, and I hadn't heard anything from her since the funeral so I decided to call her up. Just to check on her.

When I was greeted by a message system saying her phone had been disconnected, I drowned in confusion. I know she can afford a damn phone bill.

Attempting to call again, I was greeted by the same thing causing me to bite my lip. This crazy idea popped up in my head, that I should go check on her.

And I wouldn't be Brae if I didn't follow my crazy mind.

When I got there, I noticed her car out front before I went inside the building and made my way to her floor. Once I got to her floor, I followed the numbers on her door, until I stood in front of hers.

I frowned at the stench in the air, wondering what the fuck that scent was. Knocking on the door harder than I intended, I covered my nose and looked around.

There was no answer at first, so I knocked again as my phone vibrated causing me to see a text from Rhyan.

Rhyan 💚: Loho signed her rights over we got our baby girl !!!!!!!!!!!

I smiled, as the locks unraveled and Kensie opened the door. That foul smell I was smelling, flew out the door damn near knocking me over.

Kensie stood in front of me, looking a mess. She wore an old shirt that was falling off her body, she looked as if she hadn't been eating, and her hair was all over the place.

Bags were underneath her eyes, and skin was dry.

"Kensie, I came to check on you. You okay?" I asked her, as she shrugged and offered for me to come inside.

Stepping inside the apartment, I noticed food boxes on the table, cover on the couch as if that's here she had been sleeping. Liquor bottles on the floor, along with used tissues.

I stepped into her kitchen, and damn near threw up at the sight. The garbage was running over, and maggots were starting to form.

This girl really lost her shit.

Somehow I managed to clean her house, and even give her stinky ass a bath. I combed her hair and made her look like somebody, dressed her, and packed her a bag before taking her home with me.

I knew Adonis was going to pitch a bitch, but this girl needed some help like I told him from the beginning.

❤️❤️❤️

Adonis called and told me he was coming home late, so after I got Kensie and the kids settled I put everybody to bed and gave myself some attention. After a nice bath, I dressed in panties, bra and a robe and sat in the living room sipping wine thinking of the crazy day I had.

The alarm beeped notifying me Adonis was coming through the door. I could hear one of the dogs bark, making me giggle.

Instead of being greeted by a tired face or a smile, Adonis greeted me with a frown flicking the lights on.

"Being your ass here." He spoke gesturing for me to follow him.

"Excuse me?" I spoke eyeing him.

"I'm not in the mood, bring ya ass." He warned making me sigh.

We made our way to his office, where he sat at the computer and did some typing and clicking. I was still nursing my wine, getting a little sleepy as I stood across the room.

"Come look at this shit." He spoke.

I walked over to the computer, and saw pictures of my nude self sent to Adonis' email. Not just me, me with Navadius.

"Ugh!" I screamed throwing the glass across the room, resulting in it shattering.

"You said-"

"Adonis that's all I remember happening that night. I was drunk." I spoke covering my face as tears welled up in my eyes, "He's such a spiteful bitch."

After pacing the floor for a moment, I began to tell Adonis what happened earlier today with Navadius at the store. He grew pissed, and sat with a clenched jaw.

Before he could say anything, there was slight knock at his office door.

"Can I have some water please?" Kensie mumbled trying not to make eye contact with us.

"What the hell is this shit?!" He asked as I told him to calm down, and went to get Kensie some water.

After I have her water, I sent her back to bed. When I returned to the office, Adonis was gone causing me to sigh.

I cleaned the glass up, before heading upstairs to our bedroom, where he was taking off his clothes.

"Have you lost your mind? Bringing that damn girl up in here?" He asked me taking off his shirt, sitting on the bed.

"I told you she needed help! I went to her place to check on her, and it was a damn mess. She had liquor bottles, food boxes, and tissues everywhere. Not to mention garbage running over and maggots!" I tried to reason with him.

"Well you could've dropped her ass off at a psych ward! She not in the right state of mind to be around these damn kids man!" He yelled hopping up off the bed heading for the bathroom, "Fuck!" He yelled slamming the bathroom door making me jump.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

|A D O N I S|

"Say what now?" I asked biting on my bottom lip, as I slammed into Brae delivering a smack to her ass making her gasp.

"I'ma listen babe! I swear." She yelled reaching behind her, trying to push me away only for me to grab her wrist and pin it down on her back.

"Why you gon' listen?" I asked slowing down my strokes, sliding in and out of her at a slow pace sending chills down her spine.

"Adonis!" Brae whimpered as I release her wrist and grabbed her hair.

"Why you gon' listen?" I mumbled licking her ear.

"Oooh cause you the man." She moaned as her legs shook violently making me smile before she came.

Brae fell on her stomach, biting her lip as she clutched the sheets. I trailed kisses down her back, then flipped her over trailing kisses down to her lower lips.

Pecking her lower lips that was wet, I flicked my tongue on her clit making it jump because it was still sensitive.

My mouth latched to her lower lips, sucking them gently before I slid my tongue between her wet folds and began to explore. I held her thighs in both hands, lifting her up until she was standing on her head.

Her legs now rested in the crook of my arms, as I licked and sucked on her lower lips and clit listening to her cries. Five minutes passed before Brae pushed on my stomach telling me she couldn't take standing on her head any longer, so I laid her on her back still devouring her pussy, while pushing her legs back by her head and holding on to her ankles tightly.

I could hear the small breaths leaving her mouth, as I flicked my tongue back and forth in fast pace as she grew closer to her peak. Biting her clit gently before taking it into my mouth sucking on it, Brae moaned loudly and began to squirt.

Smiling in satisfaction, I cleaned her up with my tongue before releasing her ankles and falling on my back. Brae sat up and climbed on top of me, leaning down sucking on my lips as I palmed her ass gently.

"I love you." Brae cooed in a whisper against my lips, staring in my eyes with her hair all over her head.

"I love you too." I replied licking her lips, as she smiled at me.

Taking one hand grabbing my manhood, I ran it up and down her slit as she shut her eyes and pushed herself down on it. Brae slid down inch by inch, giving me lustful eyes and squeezing her muscles around it resulting in me shutting my eyes letting out a groan.

Once Brae took me in all the way, she began to move back and forth as we laid body to body. Our lips latched to each other's resulting in kisses, with Brae moaning in my mouth every so often or trying to catch her breath.

I thrusted up inside her, as she broke the kiss and placed her face in the crook of my neck whining. The strokes were slow, driving her crazy.

"How that feel?" I whispered, as she faced me with tears in her eyes and her lip quivering unable to find the words.

Brae sat up, and began to glide up and down on me slowly which soon turned to a fast pace. Her breasts jiggled as she bounced, and she sucked my two fingers I slid in her mouth while I groped her breast.

I ended up groping it so hard, some of her breast milk slid down my hand and arm as she came we both came close our peak.

"Ah fuck." I moaned as she locked her walls around me with a devious smirk until we both came.

Brae sat still for a moment, trying to catch her breath. I watched her roll off me, and slowly get out of bed trying not to fall.

She went to the bathroom, and came back with a warm rag wiping us both up. After she took the rag back to the bathroom, she climbed back in bed under the sheets with me and laid her head on my chest.

I played in her hair, as we both listened to the quietness in the house. It was six in the morning on a Saturday, and Brae woke me up trying to talk about this situation with Kensie which led to an argument, and led us to where we are right now.

"I honestly was just trying to help. She's fallen into post-partum depression." Brae tried to reason rubbing my stomach.

I let out a sigh, and used my left hand to run my temples. This shit was giving me a headache, and had me paranoid to the point where I couldn't sleep.

I'd just managed to fall sleep, when Brae woke me up.

"Baby, I understand that's a bad state for a woman to be in and it's also unhealthy. You don't know what could be on her mind, she could kill me and you and run off with our babies. You and the kids are my priority, and I gotta protect y'all. I don't think it's safe having her in the house, so she gotta go. We'll get her some help, but she can't stay here." I reasoned with Brae.

"Okay." She whispered snuggling close to me.

"I love you." I mumbled as she looked up at me and smiled showing her dimples.

"I love you too." She spoke before pecking my lips and closing her eyes.

❤️❤️❤️

We all sat at the table, enjoying the breakfast Brae made for us. It was quiet, with the exception of forks and spoons making contact with the plate.

Kensie sat in front of her plate, pushing French toast around in syrup. Her fist rested against the side of her face, as she sat there moping.

Brae stared at her with a look of sympathy, before shutting her eyes to keep from crying. It wasn't long before AJ began to cry through the baby monitor.

"I'll get him." Brae spoke quickly hopping up, "Amaris come help mommy."

"But I'm not finished." She mumbled with her mouth full.

"What did I say?" Brae asked tilting her head to the side.

Queen got up, and followed Brae. I waited until the two were upstairs, before speaking to Kensie.

Seeing her in the house last night, made my stomach knot up. Something about this wasn't right, and I was going to fix whatever it was before it turned into a problem.

"How long you been messed up like this Kensie?" I asked curiously, causing her to look up at me slowly with sad brown eyes.

Her black hair was done in two French braids, and she wore a pair of silk pajamas Brae gave her. It was actually a wedding gift from my mama, but Brae ungrateful ass didn't like it.

It wouldn't have killed her to wear the shit one time.

"I-I don't know." She mumbled and looked down at her hands, "I thought I was okay. I thought after we buried her I was okay, then one day I couldn't get out of bed and I just didn't care about anything anymore."

I bit my lip, knowing the feeling. After Addison passed it hit me hard, and if I didn't have Brae and the kids I wouldn't know what to do.

But Kensie didn't have anybody. Her mama and her friend Janelle was ignorant as hell, and Ashanti had her own stuff to tend to.

She was all by herself, and I felt bad a little bit. I felt as because she was the mother to my daughter, and I felt like I didn't support her enough.

But the only thing keeping me bonded to her was Addison, and she's gone now.

"I know how you feel Kensie, and I know it's easier said than done but you gotta move on." I tried to reason.

"Yeah, it is easier said than done. You have other kids, at least you have them to fall back on." Kensie shrugged, with jealousy in her eyes.

"You'll get your happily ever after soon K. I love you as the mother of my daughter and I wanna see you happy, but if you keeping moping you never will." I spoke touching her shoulder as she sniffed.

It was quiet, as I allowed her to cry.

"I found a doctor for you, and they house women with post partum depression. Don't think I'm kicking you out, I just think it's best you let us go. Only if you need us, just call." I spoke giving her a solid hug.

"Promise?" She asked me

"Promise." I lied to her.

There was no point in holding on.

Kensie let me go, and nodded her head while wiping her tears. Her phone rang, and she stared at it for a moment before looking at me.

"I'm going to take this, and get ready." She spoke slowly getting up.

I watched her walk out the kitchen, and let out a sigh rubbing my stomach. Queen ran in the kitchen, hopping back in her seat grabbing her fork eating her food making me laugh.

I saw Eli's face flash on the Tv, that was on the news causing me to turn it up. Eli called and informed me about the incident with Lolo, I just didn't know he would be on the news for this shit.

Niggas beat they baby mama ass everyday B.

Not only was Mr. Savage arrested on a variety of charges, but another one of his businesses has managed to get shit down temporarily. Angela Odom happened to catch Mayor Pierce outside of the closing of Mr. Savage's business.

A video of Mayor Pierce popped up, making my upper lip curl. This bitch really had no life, and after I was done with Navadius ass he was next.

"I'm just concerned about the things taking place in our community. Especially in places where we have a lot of tourists and civilians walking. These streets are made to be safe. But you have criminals like Mr. Savage who bring this type of foolishness and plays victim when police get involved. These type of things aren't coincidental." Mayor Pierce, "There's no telling what him and his brother are up to behind this legit front."

The video went back to the original news anchor.

"You may remember Adonis Savage, who is now known as a legendary photographer. He was charged with capital murder almost five years ago, with his older brother Zaire Savage. Adonis was acquitted of the murder charge, and is now a legendary photographer that was listed on Forbes. We will keep you updated on this story." She spoke flashing a smile with that ugly ass fuscia lipstick.

Brae walked into the kitchen, handing AJ over to me. He rubbed his nose, and looked at me with eyes that read he was miserable.

"What was that on the news?" Brae questioned me.

"Lies." I replied kissing my son on the head.

❤️❤️❤️

"Eli, fuck is you doing?" I asked as he walked into the foyer, eating a sandwich.

"I'm eating a sandwich ho. You don't drag a man out of bed in the wee hours of morning, without eating." He fussed before biting into the sandwich, "This ho got pepper jack cheese, shit lit. You want some bih?"

I smacked my lips, and cut my eyes peeking out the sheer curtain. If Navadius thought I was gon' let that shit he did slide, he had me fucked up.

The only person who was going to have nudes of my wife was me, and that was for my eyes only on some J. Cole shit.

Me, and Eli were currently waiting on him to get home from the club. This nigga went to the club more than anybody I knew.

"You seen that shit with the mayor?" Eli asked me.

"Mhmm, I say we send this evidence to the police and let Abel people break his neck in general population." I suggested as lights flashed on the window.

"Sound good to me." Eli spoke finishing his sandwich, before picking up his metal bat.

We already scoped the house for cameras, and different view angles to make sure the neighbors wouldn't notice us. The plan was indeed to kill him, but we would dispose of the body and let his people assume he went missing,

"Damn I need some juice." Eli mumbled as Navadius walked up the pathway.

I rolled my eyes at his ghetto ass, I stood on the other side of the door across from him. Navadius whistled, while playing with his keys before inserting one into the lock.

Twisting the lock, he pushed the door open and walked inside stepping on the tarp. His face frowned up in confusion, before his eyes grew wide and he realized what was going on.

"Batter up!" I spoke before swinging the bat to the mid-section of his stomach.

Navadius doubled over, and fell face first while Eli kicked the door close. I lifted the bat, and swung it again making instant contact with the back of his legs where his knee was hearing the instant cracking noise.

"You thought you was gon' fuck my wife, taunt me, and not see me?" I asked between swinging the bat, as Navadius cried like the lil bitch that he is.

"Please man." He managed to beg, as Eli pushed me away while laughing.

"Enough. Let big bro help you out." Eli grinned pulling out a pocket knife, eyeing it admiration, "When niggas talk too much shit, you cut they tongue out."

Navadius began to scream, as Eli turned him over and forced his mouth open. I watched as he cut his tongue out, and grinned behind his ski mask.

Standing to his feet, while Navadius flopped like a fish out of water Eli held up his tongue.

"Ask Brae do she still want her ass ate like a cupcake?" Eli snickered while I smacked my lips.

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joannawillshrink · 6 years

Text

shower thoughts

only this is a thought coming up while watching a Dr Who special called the end of the world part two.

Which I think is a humorous title. End of the world, PART TWO. anyway

The Master character is the baddie and he has a drumming in his head, constantly, driving him crazy. The Doctor says he could help. And the Master replies in a misty voice, “I dont know what I’d be, without that noise.”

Made me immediately think about myself and current life, without my Mom. Like when people lose someone close to them, common advice or like, motivational talk is “go make them proud” and whatnot. And I’m thinking, I wonder if she can see me and see what I’ve become. So bored and depressed and stagnant, different. Because I really do feel very very different. I’m changed. And I dont like it.

But I then went on to think about myself in a break up. How I want the other person to miss me. How I, in a twisted way, think its kindof flattering when someone is fucked up after losing me. Which is partially why I’m having a hard time knowing Jesse is fine and has moved on. Because I want to be mourned more. I want to have more visibly affected him.

And I wonder if, and I’m not saying that my Mom is in any way twisted, or thinking maliciously... this is just my weird thought trail,

But like, if I died and my family were really “fine” quite quickly afterwards, I feel like I’d be a bit bothered! Is that so immature of me? Like of course I’d want them to be functioning and get out there and do their thing, but not like... too soon! I guess everybody copes differently... I feel very out of touch with what other peoples’ lives are actually like. But just, I feel like my world is much more shattered than I was ready for. But is that my fault? For not “getting over it” faster? But Mom was everything, beyond words of worth or value, her love was like gravity. And it was August 9th, 2015 when it happened. Wow, I just had to look up the year. I guess its been longer than I thought? I dont know. I just feel like my processors are broken.

Anyways. I feel like I have so much to unpack about this. “I dont know who I’d be without that noise.” Like, I am now a girl without her Mom. I am Joanna without my Mom. And I dont know who I am. I held on to what I thought was normal, with my relationship with Jesse. But now that ending obliterated the false bonds I had convinced myself were working. The phantom ties.

Theyre gone, and I feel untethered. More purposeless than ever.

When I didnt know who I was before, I leaned against trying to be a good daughter. That was a wall of my definition of self. But now that wall is gone, with her. I still want to be a good daughter, but showing up for her and having her love and friendship is gone. I know the tra-la-la “she’s always with you” but I mean, in real-time, its gone.

And its like, a break up. If you get over it too easily, it kindof seems like it wasnt that big of a deal to you.

But unconditional love is different, right?

I dont even think I know what unconditional love means. I dont think humans are that perfect. I dont think its genuinely possible to unconditionally love someone.

I find it hard to believe that Jesse cared for me that way. I dont think he thinks of me, I think he nothings me. You know? When its like, I dont like you, but I dont dislike you. I nothing you.

I wish I nothing’ed him. I dislike him right now. I dont want bad luck to befall him, but I wish I didnt have to witness his happiness. Because I’m jealous. I want to be happy. When I’m upset and other people are happy I feel like theyre bragging about it, rubbing it in my face. Especially when its a partner or friend, and especially especially when its an Ex.

I used to fear talking to my mom on the phone because if I was sad and needed help or support, she was always more sad. Sadder. And needed MY help. Or if I was happy, and wanted to share it, I was afraid it would sound braggy or she’d feel lesser-than compared to what I had going on. Like, at the beginnings of things with Jesse, I’d mention a detail about kissing or holding hands or something, and she’d get weird about it and throw in some comment about “I wish your father still kissed me” or “goodness, I miss that” or something.

I worry thats rubbed off onto me. If I’m upset, like, deeply bothered, I dont want other people around me to be good at walking away. I want to be seen, and to effect others. If I’m crying I want someone else’s mood to change if they see me or hear my story. I want to be respected for enduring the things that are happening. I feel like when people hear a sad personal tale or listen to what youre feeling at the moment, and get up at the end and are fine and just walk away, its incredibly rude and unfeeling and gross. Offensive, even. Maybe thats playing too much of the victim.

The lawyer in me immediately says “stop wasting your energy trying to get other people to be sad like you, to see you for how sad you are, and use that energy to do something about your own sadness”

but if youre sad, and just put in the energy to make it go away, is that fixing it? or just ignoring it?

is ignoring pain the secret to success? just, get on with it? never let it catch up to you?

I wonder if thats everyones suppressed secret. That they ARE in pain, but just running from it.

I want to be heard and to share my story before I can move on from it. Its like airing out a ghost. Giving it its proper attention and respect so its existence is justified, giving it love, really. I want even the sad parts to be loved.

So when someone just gets up and walks away unphased from a story I’m explaining, I dont feel love or connection or anything at all. It almost adds to the pain itself. Setting it further back down the hill with even more to climb to escape.

I stay in bed a lot. I’m not sure how to air out being upset about my ex Jesse. I want to run my mouth about the shit he was in our relationship. I was lousy too, but different. Definitely no saint, but I understand the quiet spectrum in the motivation of cheaters. Not all cheaters. But I get why some do what they do. Because I seeked out attention from other men, men from my past, because I needed more, but didnt want to give up what could maybe be built with Jesse. I was scared to lose the potential of him. But he behaved so coldly, often cruelly emotionally to me, both in obvious but also very quiet subtle ways, that I needed to be around the energy of men who knew me before all that. Old friends who knew my sparkle. Because I needed to remember it, myself. I wished and wished and wished Jesse saw my sparkle, at the beginning of our relationship I thought he did. Which is why I decided to move to his city from my own, and really give it a try.

But I felt like just another hobby in his life, another thing that needed his precious time. I felt juggled between work, his band, and his motorcycle. Literally, if I saw his eyes light up because he ordered another guitar pedal or motorcycle part, I knew it meant less time/money/enthusiasm for me or our time together. This literally happened, time and time again.

And after losing the one person in my life who I knew I was their everything,

I needed to be loved more. I needed to be loved more than a new amplifier. I needed to have someone look at me and get excited like they would when something new would arrive from Amazon.

I needed to be appreciated for more than just when I was game to have sex.

I needed to have my sparkle be seen and fanned.

So I diminished, and I felt, after a while, that he didnt deserve me. That he didnt deserve my best. So when I traveled or was around old flames or friends who I knew understood me and made me feel great just being me, I gave THEM my best. Which, in black and white on paper, is cheating, and isnt cool.

But my heart needed it. I shouldve broken up with Jesse so much sooner than I did.

But now, we ARE broken up, and I’m super fucked up about it still. I’m glad we’re not together, but in a way like... he treated me this way when we WERE together. Indifferent, not seeing how special I am. How great we could be.

So its like... I guess he’s acting exactly the same. It hurt this much within the relationship, too... but when we were together at least I could yell at him about it. It felt good to yell at somebody for what hurts. His lack of attention still hurts, but now I have no right to get into a fight with him about it.

Its all to be expected. His behavior. He left his wife to be with me. Someone of 8 fucking years. And he never talked about her really. So why should I be surprised that he doesnt talk about me, or miss me, or seem forlorn. He didnt seem forlorn for her. He was barely single. He wasnt single. He jumped right from her to me. And now he’s very shortly on to the next. I really shouldnt be surprised.

It would be easier if he wasnt so entrenched in all the people I know.

Theres always a risk of seeing him out. I wish I was more mature about this. But honestly I’d feel the same even if we were just friends from the start. Its like seeing someone you just simply dont like, regardless of context. If someones a jerk, you dont want them to be where you are.

I may leave Austin. Its weird, being trapped by comfort. My house is pretty good. Like, the shape of the house itself is cute. Theres a porch. Theres a patio, and a coffee shop across the street.

But I dont feel happy here. I have no idea where I’d go. But I’m sick of living in a pot house. EEEVery day its bowl bong weed pot cough cough sneeze laugh lame joke bong bong lame joke bad pun leaving dishes fucking everywhere hoarding objects and never using them leaving dirt and coats and shoes and opened mail and bullshit all over the place.

I feel like I cant bitch because I dont have a job. I’m lazing around sleeping 80% of the day because... of what? Because of sadness, because I dont really want to go out there. I dont want to interact with my roommates who I find annoying. I dont want to take a walk around the neighborhood that I think its pretty boring. I dont want to go to bars and feel less than my past self. Fatter. Older. Uglier. I dont want to go feel my inadequacy proven right. Jesse treated me that way. I moved here five months after my Mom died. Brand new city.

And I didnt get a job. I didnt do a whole lot of anything. And he hated me for it. He didnt understand and it leaked in. It absolutely showed.

So now its February 2018. So many months have passed. And I’m still not doing anything. I just dont want to. I dont know where to get a job here, I dont want to commit my time to something that doesnt feel like anything. I want to exercise but it requires a 15 minute drive to get there. I want to cook but our kitchen is so fucking cluttered it drives me nuts.

Am I too uptight? Like, is this coming off like I cant function unless somethings perfect?

Im sure it sounds that way... I just... feel no spark. When my new roommate cleaned the bathroom and had music going and was doing the shit I normally do, I felt so pleased and relatable, it was marvelous. But then other two roommates come home and toss their coats all over and smoke weed and plop down watching stupid shows, and it just..

Should I try to be more of a leader? Force my way through it and burn my own trail? If theyre watching dumb shit, suggest something better? Take an active interest in life?

I definitely have been passive. I want other people to be interesting. I want to be intrigued by someone’s starting something. Somebody to already have the breadcrumbs laid down and I get to follow them and add to the adventure. I dont know if I have the energy to take the risk of being bold and leading the way, not knowing the caliber of people I’m talking to or bringing with me. Like, I want to spend energy being great around someone I already think is great. I miss having crushes. If I think someone is awesome, I feel like I then get to be super awesome too, in hopes that showing my favorite self, enjoying my own shine... that they’ll notice and enjoy it too.

But like, why shine for boring people? I dont have any interest in that. I dont want to impress people that dont impress me.

That sounds super bitchy but whatever.

Anyways. I’m way off track.

I just remembered that I need to call my Aunt Carol, who I think is mad at me, because she retired today and I’m overdue to call her. I really dont want to but it needs to be done. Calling a family member that you know is disappointed in you is NEVER fun. I feel the weight on my chest already. Okay, gonna call her. I’ll write again soon.

#emotion journal #rant

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polygamyff · 4 years

Text

31. Part 4

My dad is on my mind, it’s weighing me down at the thought of him not being around. I don’t know, something is annoying me. I wanted my dad to put Reign down because he uses a walking stick, for him to not be using it and doing all that I know right now he is in pain, he doesn’t like to use it at all. He hates the thing but he has no choice, even money can’t buy you health and honestly I wish it could. I just woke up and Robyn has left the bed so I’m just laid here thinking, it’s going to break my heart to see people happy that he’s not here and I know they going to come for me. I wouldn’t let him down, he’s right. I got to do it for my own family and protect them “why is Adam here!?” Robyn walked in, all guns blazing already. She didn’t even give me a chance, she seems a little angry “well, he is here to clearly dress you?” I said confused “yes, but why?” shuffling up in the bed “because you are going to the Prince of Dubai’ home Robyn, you cannot just wear anything. His wife will be there, his family. You got to be respectful. Look, If you are going to these kind of events with me you have to dress appropriately, and you need to dress with a headscarf or whatever they wear there. It’s called being respectful” Robyn frowned at me “so you’re saying I am not that? That I just dress trash as fuck? I just show my body off, he met me. He saw what I was wearing, he saw my body” Robyn is being so dramatic “that is a public event Robyn, you are going to his house. Don’t be so stupid, Adam is here to show you some things to wear that look respectful, I know how it works. Trust me!” she come here shouting at me, I can do it back “I am sure you do, I bet you have had other bitches there that is why” Robyn said before she stormed out, well that went well.

Jogging down the steps, I kind of find it funny that Robyn reacted the way she did, she is so dramatic “Adam, glad you’re here” I said as I made my way down, walking over to him “Maurice, my friend” Adam shook my hand, Robyn is really still upset with me when she really needs to just get over it “thank you for coming, was Robyn rude to you at all? If she was let me know” Adam chuckled “she didn’t seem pleased, she said I don’t need dressing her at all” waving at Reign, she is sat on Terry’ lap just staring “well he said I dress trashy, I am not respectful” I laughed out “no” I pointed “I didn’t say that, I said you need to be respectful to the places you go too, I know his home, I go there. Even my sister has a headscarf on, Terry. Please make your daughter see sense, I never said she had bast taste in clothes, I just need her to wear things fit for the occasion. His wife, his family will be there. These are important people and I want them to see that my future wife is respectful to their culture, please understand this” she is stressing me out, Terry smiled at me “Robbie, he is not wrong. In the Arab culture they are strict, you need to listen” Robyn is a brat “he is wearing a Thawb” Adam said pointing at me “a what?” Robyn frowned “it’s an Arabic dress for men, I do say he looks handsome in it. I love it, you will love it” Robyn didn’t know what to say “so you’re wearing something different then?” nodding my head “I am, because I am respectful like that. He has Reign’ gift too, he got her a gold chain. This is the first time you will be stepping out to a meal with me, somewhere important, we do end up speaking on business too. I understand, don’t worry about it. When we go there, we will be greeted by him and his family. They feed us, we talk and have some things and then leave. They are so nice, but you may be with the ladies for a while but don’t worry. Robyn, it’s fine as some things they don’t want to mix, you will soon learn” Robyn sighed out “this seems like hard work” she is funny, she has barely done anything.

Staring at my MacBook screen and then dragging my eyes away from the screen to Reign “you doing business with me baby?” fixing her in my arm a little “shall we cancel meeting for next week? So I can be all yours?” she is not interested, I think she likes the colours on the screen “right, ok. I need to book this in, daddy has a lot of work to do” my work phone started to ring, I am literally replying back to emails right now. Answering my phone “Ally” balancing my phone on my shoulder to place my laptop on the side so I can lay Reign on me “I have the California police wanting to speak to you, they called me and I said I am just the assistant. They contacted the office in New York, they have directed it to me which I am now contacting you. They won’t speak to me, I am not sure what it is about” furrowing my eyebrows “black or teal?” Robyn asked “wait a minute” I said, letting my phone fall to the side of me “what? Me? Making me wait” Robyn said, she is being hard work today “not you and black” I huffed out, laying Reign down against my chest and then picking my phone back up “but why? What did I do? Is it me? I would like my lawyer around for that” this is never good “I have no idea, I did try and say he is busy but they said it is urgent” I guess I better answer “ok, put them through” I know for a fact I did nothing wrong, I know I haven’t “putting them through now” Ally said “can y’all just be quiet, please!” I spat “Mr Davenport on the phone for you Detective Natasha” raising an eyebrow, Robyn and Adam left the room “Thank you, hi Mr Davenport it is Detective Natasha. I am not sure if you are aware, there was a Burglary at your home in California which is registered under Robyn Willis” what crack is this “what!?” I said confused “there has been no such thing, I mean I literally get the alarm on my phone if that ever happens, I think you may have got the wrong person?” that is bullshit “Mr Davenport the security was tampered with, the home has been ran sacked, your cars have gone. I am sorry for such bad news and wish we could meet to discuss” I froze in shock, my home really been burgled “but I have the latest security, it can’t be. That is wrong, I paid so much money for it” I don’t understand “is there anybody you know that could have done this, we are currently getting as much evidence and feel it’s been done by someone you know. There has been no forced entry, the neighbours have said they noticed nothing wrong. They said you haven’t been home for a while now and mentioned that you would be in Dubai. It could be that someone knows you are not home, it can happen when they know the person is not home but the way it has been done it’s too clean” I am devastated “that is my family home, did they take everything?” that don’t mean anything to me really “it was maliciously vandalised, someone did take their time inside the home” I breathed out “even my daughter’ room?” I am so heartbroken, that is my daughter’ home “everything, I am sorry. When can you come back? We need to speak to you” I am in shock “can I call you back” I mumbled “my assistant, she will have your number. I just need time, please” I can’t process this “that is fine, she does have my number. Look forward to hearing from you” she disconnected the call.

Someone has really done that “look at my brother in his Reign suite” Shawn said as he walked in, I am still trying to process this “you good?” Staring at Shawn’ fist in my face “uh yeah” dapping him “you and Leon had a good time bonding?” sitting up on the couch “we did, Leon is funny but he likes to put everything on social media, a little too much” I need to find out, where is that bastard Malik “you know where Malik is? Anyone?” I asked as I got up from the couch “uhm no, why does anyone care?” Reign has fallen asleep “because my home has been burgled” walking up the steps “what!” Leon and Shawn both shouted in unison, I am so angry but upset because that is wrong. That could easily have been my daughter and Robyn in that home, I pay for the best. I know I do, I know what security is in that home, I know it all. I live in a good estate, it’s not cheap. Them nosey fucking neighbours would have said “don’t mind me” I said as I made my way into the room “Reign has fallen asleep” I want to keep calm but I am fucking angry, I am so angry right now “do I look the part” placing Reign in her crib “not right now, I will be back” if I had a gun I would shoot somebody “uh what, Maurice?” Robyn said, storming out of the room. I am not stupid, I know it was him. He would house sit for me, he also has my fucking dog so I would like to fucking know “Maurice, are you serious?” jogging down the steps “get Ally on the phone, tell her to give me Naomi’ room number now” walking over to the elevator “uh yeah, I will but are you being serious?” Shawn rushed over to me, pressing the button “serious as I can be, someone has robbed my home and took everything. No fucking dickhead can get in that, Malik. He knows the codes” walking into the elevator, pressing the ground floor “Maurice!?” Robyn spat, I want the door to close and they are luckily closing before she stops me.

This bitch is in my hotel, and I also know that little weasel will be here or he has flown back to do it himself “it’s my motherfucking hotel, I will use my powers to get anything” Shawn is telling me I am wrong but I am not, I am doing what I want “I think we need to relax” Shawn said behind me “relax? My child could have been in that home, he fucking did this and I know it” holding the handle as I swiped the keycard “room service” pushing the door open and storming into the room, hearing panicking from the bed. Turning the corner seeing Naomi fall over the bed sheets butt naked “no need to run, I have seen you naked before” Noami quickly yanked the covers over herself “get out now Malik” staring at Noami, I am not sure how to feel about this “I thought I said for you to not be in my hotel, you’re in my wife’ bed. I cannot wait to divorce you, Shawn you get that? When I take you to court for fucking my brother, you ain’t getting shit out of me. Not even the bare minimum like we spoke on, he is on crack, he don’t want you!” I would like to beat both of them “I knew you was in my hotel still, I know everything but something went on and you are the only one to know my codes for my home” Malik stared at me holding the towel close to himself “my home was robbed Malik, I don’t care. I will buy another home but my family could have been in that home” Malik smiled at me “you was here, your fine” Shawn grabbed me “no, we ain’t doing that. He will be dealt with” Shawn said “why!? Why!? Why would you do that!? After everything, I would give you anything, I didn’t ask for dad to love me more than you! You’re my little brother and I fucking loved you, why are you doing this to me! Is it because I am happy? You never did this when I was stuck with this bitch, did you? You liked me being childless and miserable because then I would be in a sunken hole like you are! You and this bitch! You can keep it, whatever shit money you get from this. Keep it! You are dead to me, and to think Robyn cared about you, shit like you! You made a big mistake Malik, watch when dad gives me the company. You fucking watch!” I pointed at him “out of my hotel, both of you!” Shawn let me go as I walked around him “bastard!” punching the wall as I made my way out of the room.

I don’t really have the time but I needed to see my dad “that girl is really done for” my dad is watching the video “mhmmm yeah” I said “Maurice, I will give you all of my blessings to do anything you would like to do once I give you the company” my mom just put her head down “he’s done, he will get nothing from me and if you do then that is on you” my dad laughed “I would rather give it to Robyn’ mother” I frowned at my dad “what?” that was random “I am just saying, I wouldn’t give him anything. That boy is a disappointment to me, he will never come to Texas again because he knows I want nothing to do with him. Your mother, well she will never stop because that is her son but don’t worry about it. The family will see it as more shares for them but son, you do what you need to do. And this, you give to Wade ok, the divorce court will love this. Just don’t attack them at all, he will want that from you” nodding my head in agreement “I just got angry because what if Robyn and Reign was home, if anything ever happens to them then I wouldn’t want to be here, just got me angry anyways. I need to go, I have to meet the prince” Robyn will be angry with me, I know she will be.

The elevator pinged as the doors opened “I told you he would be back” Leon said “Maurice, what the hell!?” Robyn marched over to me “I am calm now, it’s ok now” stepping off the elevator “you left your phone here! And you ran off, you saw me come towards that elevator but you purposely went!” I did do that “I am sorry” I mumbled “Leon telling me our home has been robbed? I tried the cameras and I can’t access them” I sighed out “so the police called my phone, said that they have taken everything from the home. But you and I both know we had the best security, I was angry so I went to see Malik, he admitted to doing it which I knew. I am so sorry, that is your home and that has happened” rubbing my face “no don’t be, honestly don’t. We are safe and that is what matters to me, I think it’s time we cut off Malik forever, for our own safety but do not ever be sorry. Lot of the things I took with me, I mean yes the cars and whatever but we got each other still” Robyn is right “you need to sell the home, it was so perfect. It was so close to your job too, I am fucking annoyed Robyn, it was perfect for you” Robyn wrapped her arms around me “just sell it, I can drive an extra hour for it, I don’t mind. I guess we didn’t expect this from your own brother” I chuckled “you need to sell it, it’s your home stupid. You need to do it, I can’t do it” Robyn let an oh “then where do we stay for now?” I never complimented on how she looks “you look beautiful by the way and I guess your dad is going to have to put up with me” I laughed “I am joking, I will be working and all that still. I will be around” Robyn hit my chest “shut up” Adam eyed me up and down “let’s go” he said “do you dress him? Does that mean you see his dick?” Robyn asked “why not? He has a big dick” Adam laughed saying “seriously?” Robyn is being dead ass “I am joking, I have never seen his dick. Just down to his boxers, don’t worry I don’t want him” Adam waved her off.

I must say I always look good in one of these, every time I wear one “I am glad you got the thicker material, you remember that time when I wore black boxers. Never again, thank you Adam” walking out of the bedroom “it’s my pleasure, your other half is stressful. She didn’t like this and that, I goes your man said what he said” walking down the steps smiling “good, you need to be strict with her sometimes “just call me Sheikh Davenport, don’t all compliment me at once” I know I look good “my, my, my. Well hello Sheikh” Leon said “do you always go all out for this man?” Leon asked “I respect his ways, he respect mines. What he says goes, he has power and I need him on my side. He could have easily turned around and say the women at the event needed to cover their heads, but he didn’t. We respect each other” Leon let out an oh “are you naked under that?” Robyn asked “I could be, if you like? But I have my boxers on, it’s the most comfortable thing to wear here with this heat. Do I look good?” I want a compliment from Robyn “you look very handsome Maurice, I am impressed. So what is that? Scarf thing?” Robyn pointed “I could either wear it on my head, it is protect you from the sun. But I chose to put it around my neck” Robyn grinned “you’re actually so amazing Maurice, like your dad has raised you amazingly well, I get why people in power like you. Because I really am enjoying, this” she pointed at me, look at Robyn complimenting me more then I asked for.

Pressing a kiss to Reign’ cheek “miss you already princess, we will be back” I don’t think she cares, she is relaxing with Leon “do you think I would make a pretty Muslim?” Robyn said behind me, turning to Robyn. I cooed out seeing Robyn in her hijab “you would be” I paused “probably one of the prince’ wives, I can imagine that happening. Shall we go then?” I am dead ass with that statement, I know she would have been “nice to hear that you class me so high, I appreciate it. And you would be my butler that I fuck on the low” pressing a kiss to Robyn’ forehead “and I appreciate that you want my dick on the low too” she is so damn pretty “I’m so happy for you both, you make me so happy inside. To see this” Terry gushed “not when she is crying about random shit, it ain’t cute. Anyways, we do need to go” fixing the scarf around my neck as I made my way to the elevator “sir” the butler said and the elevator opened “I pressed it already” look at that, I don’t need to wait “thank you” stepping onto the elevator and turning to Robyn “I kind of like this you know” pressing ground floor “you want to move here?” resting against the elevator wall “if that means we both get to spend all of the time we can, you get busy once you get to America” rubbing the side of my face “that will change, soon” I have my plans.

Stepping off of the elevator and the first thing I see is both Naomi and Malik, they are being escorted out now “boss” Lenny said “hey, just give me a moment. Robyn, wait here” making my way to the receptionist, Naomi looked behind and saw me “Malik” she touched his back, she really doing this “sir” the lady said “I want you to send out correspondence out to every hotel, these two ain’t allowed in. And please make sure they leave this place, country even” my dad came from the back “Maurice, are you going now?” he walked from around the desk “I am, I will let you know how it goes, what are you doing behind there?” I asked “making sure those leave my son’ hotel, have fun then. Oh there is Robyn, hi!” my dad waved to her “it’s weird when you’re nice, don’t work too much old man” patting his shoulder “we have to obey your rules Maurice, you are the owner and also. Malik and I got into it, he is quiet for that reason. I will resolve such issues, that is my child. He is not your problem, anyways you go now” I was wondering why he was so quiet, I guess my dad got him now. I am still upset he did me like that, it’s not about the things it’s about the people that live there, that is what upset me the most, I can buy everything again. Smiling at Robyn “your dad is adorable when he’s smiling” I snorted laughing “come Malikati” holding Robyn’ hand “what?” she spat “it means my queen in Arabic” Robyn huffed out “I can’t keep up Maurice, you know too many languages” I know she is fed up of me knowing all of this.

Robyn switched seats to sit across from me “you good over there?” I said as I stared at my emails, Ally emailed me if everything is ok with the police situation “look at me” Robyn said, looking up from my phone “what?” I chuckled seeing the phone in my face “you being a creep huh” Robyn shrugged “I find you extremely sexy right now, the shades on too. Mhmmm so mysterious” I smirked at Robyn “sorry, I love my daughter but this is my new wallpaper” Robyn sat next to me “look at that, I mean you look so good. How fucking sexy are you, I am not surprised that women come to you and want you” Robyn is really lusting over me “that word that Leon called you, Shay, something?” she is so cute “sheikh?” I asked “yeah, what does that mean?” she is so innocent, it draws me in every time “it means Arab leader, head of family. Someone that leads the people” Robyn let out an oh “how do you spell it?” I laughed “Google is free babe, you can just Google it?” Robyn scoffed “if I can’t say, then what makes you think I can spell it out in Google, tell me?” licking my lips trying to not laugh too much “S, h, e, i, k, h. Got it?” Robyn nodded her head “I put this” she turned her phone to me “my Sheikh” I read out and then cooed out “that is so cute, I love it. Like I love you. Actually, I have access to my own official Instagram now, my sister usually adds pictures but I wanted to see your page so she gave me the log in” I said while tapping the icon “you been messages bitches on there? I know you must be getting some nudes on there” I mean she is not wrong but I won’t admit that “who cares, I am with you. But let’s take a picture, only like official picture go on this, I mean like photographer type thing but I am proud of you, this like your first event with me, like just me and you” holding the phone out “let me take it, you don’t know angles but for real? I feel kind of special. What about Noami, you must have?” shaking my head “not like selfie type unless she took one but I am doing this with you. I don’t deal with social media, not my thing but I am trying” Robyn held the phone up to take the picture, shuffling closer to Robyn and placing my arm around her. She moved closer to me, resting her free hand on my knee “wow, we look like bad bitches” Robyn passed me my phone, moving my arm “I think I am the better one though” I smiled at the picture “I like this, I think I will write meetings with the Arab prince, no actually I will put. The Arab prince requested I bring my wife to this. Which I am not lying, he did say this” tapping post “I feel honoured, like I never thought in my wildest dreams I would be doing this. You are teaching me new things, and I love learning. I love learning your ways, the more I see of you working the more I am amazed by you. I can’t stress enough how your dad raised you well, now I get to see you flourish” Robyn is being too sweet “with you by my side, you bring that out of me. My love for you” she changed me for the better.

#Chrianna #Chrianna FF #Fanfic #Fanfiction

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