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starryseo · 5 years

Text

torn. | han jisung + lee felix

pairing ↠ jisung x gender neutral!reader, felix x gn!reader

genre ↠ fluff? bit angsty- royalty au!

wc ↠ 5501

summary ↠ how can one follow their heart when it’s split in two?

warnings ↠ none!

a/n ↠ instead of writing 2 different fics for their bdays i’ve given u the best of both worlds :) enjoy :)

being the only heir to the throne was extremely difficult

you had to go through so many different classes, formal events and gatherings in a single day

and it was vvv stressful

your parents insisted on you joining in on their meetings with other higher-ups so you could understand how to deal with each person

and although you knew it was only going to benefit you when you inevitably took over

you really just wanted a break

time alone was so fleeting and you hated that

whenever you had time to relax or enjoy yourself, you’d be too tired to actually do so properly

as much as you enjoyed some of the lessons, like archery (your personal trainer minho was definitely a Sight to see) and cookery (bc mrs han would always let you eat the food you made)

it was extremely tiring and you wished for just one day where you could do absolutely nothing

you always envied the people that werent of your status, people that didnt (quite literally) have a kingdom thrust upon their shoulders

they got to enjoy the finer things in life: normal conversations with their families; they could go out wherever, buy things for themselves and admire the country’s scenery

instead, you were stuck with only ever having meetings with your parents to discuss upcoming deals, people showering you with unwanted gifts to woo you over, and accompanied walks out into your garden

you couldn’t even walk in your own garden alone

there was, however, one special thing that you did look forward to seeing everyday

and that came in the form of an 18 year old boy

han jisung.

han jisung was as close to perfection you thought anyone could get

having practically grown up with the boy, you thought you knew everything there was to know about him

and vice versa, of course

he was your confidant

the only one you could go to when your stress was too high and you had no idea how to cope

he’d seen you through a lot of bad days but his smile alone could always brighten up your mood

he was extremely caring

always putting your needs before his own despite you insisting he treats you as an equal

you knew he didn’t do it bc of your status, it really was just how he was as a person

even to complete strangers, he was always so nice, helping them out without a care

you really wondered how he could be so carefree when outside the castle

this one time he had snuck you out of the castle during your lesson with him

you looked so sad when you came to the stable for your horseriding lesson and his heart ached as soon as he saw your frown

and almost instantly he knew what to do!!

since your horseriding lessons took place inside the castle, your bodyguard didn’t stay with you, entrusting jisung with your safety instead

and he decided that an impromptu trip to the great Outside was exactly what you needed!

so, sneaking out through the back of the stables, donning jisung’s jacket, hat and a face mask, you both escaped the castle

this side of the castle was for the common people that worked inside, like the maids, chefs, stableboys, and when mrs han, your favourite cookery teacher and also jisung’s mum, saw you trying to leave, she simply smiled, waving for the common guards to let you through

he shot a thankful grin at his mum before grabbing your hand, taking you out of the castle

when he wasnt training you and the horses, he spent his time going out of the castle, bringing back small things from his adventures

you didn’t like people showering you with riches, but the small flowers and hand-made bracelets jisung brought back were exceptions to that

he weaved expertly through the hustle and bustle, taking you to a quaint cafe nearby

your grip on his hand tightened - what if people recognised you? word would spread and you would be in so much trouble!

yet, as soon as jisung rubbed your hand soothingly, turning to give you a reassuring smile, all your worries vanished

this cafe was one you frequented (when you escaped your royal walls with jisung)

so when changbin, the owner’s son, saw jisung and a ridiculously-disguised figure (you) walk in, he snickered, ushering you two over into the backroom

he snuck some food and hot drinks to you both during his shift as you snuck away

although you always had to be on alert, jisung’s relaxed demeanour rubbed off on you

you enjoyed doing things like this with him, not caring about your next lesson, or the plethora of princes/esses you had to impress next

you loved just sitting on the floor with him, sharing a plate of cookies and all your secrets

“thank you for this, ji” you sighed, leaning your back against the wall as you sipped on your drink

“don’t worry ‘bout it!” you scrunched your nose when he grinned, cookie crumbs lining the corner of his lips

you raised your hand to wipe away the crumbs, but as soon as your finger touched him, he jumped back

“how indecent, sunshine! the royal highness touching someone as lowly as me? what would your parents say?”

you rolled your eyes at his joke, leaning your head on his shoulder

“you, lowly? you’re better than nearly everyone in that castle, ji”

“what do you mean ‘nearly’? i thought i was your best friend!” he nudged you, a massive pout on his face

“well, you are my best friend, but that’s nothing compared to minho’s face, seriously,,,”

“yeah, im definitely telling your parents this now”

“hey i was joking,” you smiled, poking his side so he would laugh instead of pouting more, “you’re my favourite person in that castle”

“hey lovebirds, shouldn’t you be heading back to the castle?” changbin popped into the kitchen, hanging up his apron, “you’ve been here for almost an hour”

at that, both your and jisung’s carefree attitudes were gone like the wind, eyes wide and bodies rigid as you realised you had to leave. now.

as quickly as you both could, you ran out of the cafe

you don’t know when jisung reached back to hold your hand, pulling you along with him, but a sudden warmth filled you, and you were sure it wasn’t bc of the unexpected exercise

you arrived just a split second before guards had come into the common house, demanding to know where you were since you weren’t waiting by the stables like usual

“i’m fine, i was just a bit hungry so i asked mrs han for some food!”

your bodyguard nodded at that, waiting for you start walking so he could guard you

just as he went ahead to open the doors, you turned around, waving wildly at jisung who was already returning the gesture, and you mouthed a quick ‘thank you!’ before following your guard back to the castle grounds

han jisung was like a sunrise, you always thought

not only because he could brighten your days with the smallest of smiles, but because he was a wisp of fresh air from your tedious life

he always had a trick up his sleeve, something new and surprising to ignite your life, just like the sun rose and breathed life into everything it shone down upon

whenever you saw him, you were sure you could literally see him glow, a heavenly light outlining him because there was no way on earth jisung was anything less than an angel

he was, in simple terms, stunning

even tho he couldnt understand exactly what you went through on a daily basis, he tried so hard to relate to you, knowing exactly what to do to make you feel better

and for that, you couldn’t be more grateful

weeks had passed and your life went as it normally did until one thursday evening

the dining room was filled with its usual quietude, cutlery clinking against plates as you ate your food in peace

although you wished your parents would speak up more, ask you how your day went and not be so focussed on business, you took notice of their tired eyes and held-back yawns

nonetheless, you enjoyed simply being in their presence without deadlines looming over you and the constant nagging from your counsellors

just as you were about to break the silence your father spoke up

he cleared his throat to catch your attention before speaking, “tomorrow, the royal family from our sister country will be coming over to stay”

“o-oh? why?” you furrowed your eyebrows at your father’s announcement

it had been a while since you had last seen that family alone

of course you saw them whenever your family held large events but they hadn’t visited, and stayed over, at your castle in a while

“conflict has been rising at the borders, and you know we cannot be having wars start between our countries”

you nodded and your father continued eating, ending the talk there

you headed straight to bed after that, but you found it hard to sleep because your mind kept wondering back to the family that were arriving soon

or, more specifically, the prince

lee felix.

you woke up grumpily the next morning, having stayed up a few hours later than usual simply because you couldnt sleep

the knocking at your door was getting louder and you could barely hear your maid, hana, yell out your name

grumbling, you got out of bed, pulling open the door. “what’s the matter hana?”

“your highness, the lee family has arrived, why aren’t you ready?”

“i just woke up-”

“oh goodness!” you watched her panic, stuttering something about how your parents would have her head for your lateness, eyes wide in fear, and you laughed to ease her worries

“hana, please, calm down. i’ll wash up, but could you get my clothes?”

she nodded before scurrying off to piece together your attire and accessories

and you made the quickest run ever to get yourself cleaned and presentable

of all days to oversleep, you sighed, shaking your head to push away your fatigue

you groaned at the clothes hana haid lain out on your bed; they looked uncomfortably rich and you couldnt wait to get out of them already

you tried to walk into the dining hall as quietly as possible, but the conversation that was going on stopped as soon as you entered, 5 pairs of eyes on you the second you stepped past the door

you walked forward, bowing your head and greeting the family in front of you, them returning the gesture

king lee smiled as you sat down, joking, “how nice of you to finally join us!”

you stuttered out an apology, looking away nervously, but he shook his head to dismiss your worries

your eyes flittered to felix who was sitting in the seat furthest away from you

he was already looking at you, smiling when you caught his eye and you adored how his eyes crinkled at the corners

you had zoned out as the adults talked and, occasionally, when you and felix made eye contact, he’d pull a weird face

you bit your lips to hold back your laugh but he joined you in grinning

after finishing breakfast, your mother proposed you take felix on a tour of the house as the adults talked over the issues at hand

"anywhere you’d like to go in particular?”

“surprise me, your highness” he nudged your side, eyes eagerly wandering around the halls of your home

you rolled your eyes at what he called you, “since when have you been the formal type?”

he shrugged, smirking, “just thought it was fitting,” he winked at you before walking ahead, “let’s go to the gardens!”

“thought you wanted me to surprise you...” you mumbled, picking up your pace to catch up with him

he waited by the doors leading outside, just so he could hold them open for you and when you thanked him, he let out a teasing, “anything for you, your highness”

“i have a name for a reason, felix, please use it”

“but i like calling you ‘your highness’, your highness”

“it sounds so... so weird though, we’ve known each other since we were kids, we practically grew up together”

“better get used to it then, your royal highness”

you let out a horrid groan at his insistence on the nickname

if there was one thing you remembered about felix

it was that he was stubborn as anything

when you were kids this trait usually transferred into competitiveness and a desire to constantly beat you - he would always beg for rematches if you ever beat him

now his persisting nature made you want to poke him until he stopped, but, since he was your guest, you would try to hold off on doing that for as long as you could

“oh, you remember jisung, right?” you asked, leading him down a familiar path

when you were younger and felix visited, the 2 of you would play outside in the garden and then sneak away to the common area to play with jisung too

the visits became infrequent as you grew older, but jisung was always acting as a waiter at formal events, so the 2 boys still would have seen each other around the castle

“of course i do”

it was a normal reply, and yet you sensed some sort of underlying bitterness when he said that because the ever-present smile on his face wilted slightly at the mention of the other boy

you brushed it off as you overanalysing - felix really had no reason to hate jisung, and you’d never seen the 2 of them fight, nor had either come to you, complaining about the other

you led him to the common house, knocking on the door to the entrance, before going in

you greeted the people lounging around there, snickering slightly as they rushed to welcome felix in properly

you noticed how some of the staff blushed as felix smiled at them, nervously giggling in front of him and you cringed slightly

you held back your laguh as they grew nervous in his presence, but he didn’t seem to mind, his grin growing larger as though he knew what effect he was having on them

“hey mrs han, where’s ji?”

“good morning, your highnesses, he went out to get some food, he should be coming back soon”

“is it alright if we wait here for him?”

“of course!” she smiled, eyes tired but still shining - you admired her pure enthusiasm and the hard work she put into everything she did

she swatted off the other workers that were lazing around so you could sit down

“it’s a pleasure to see you again, prince felix,” mrs han said, placing a plate of warm cookies on the small table in front of you

“the pleasure is all mine, mrs han,” felix beamed, “and might i say, you look like you haven’t aged since the last time i saw you!”

“you are too kind, my prince,” she laughed at his compliment, “he’s a keeper, isn’t he, y/n?”

felix turned to you when mrs han said that, throwing you an exaggerated wink

“he’s a real catch,” you said, voice monotoned and he nudged you at your lack of enthusiasm

“c’mon your highness,” felix teased, lifting your hand to press a kiss in the back before ending with a wink, “admit it.”

you dont know why your hand warmed at the contact, nor why you felt a weird fluttery feeling in your stomach at the overused action, yet you didn’t exactly hate what you were going through

before you could reply, you heard someone clear their throat to break the conversation

“ji!” you exclaimed, jumping from your seat, “felix is here!”

“so it seems,” he murmured, eyes unmoving from felix’s face

you turned to felix, only to see him staring straight back at jisung, eyes unblinking

you looked at mrs han, raising a brow, confused at their awkward behaviour, and she just shook her head, mumbling, “boys...” before grabbing the bags from jisung’s hands and walking off

“alright,” you clapped, breaking both boys out of their stare-off, “let’s go outside!”

“you two go ahead, i’ve got something to do,” jisung murmured

“please, ji, we came here just for you,” you pouted, pulling his wrist to make him join you

“i’ll come later, i swear, y/n,” he replied, lightly squeezing your hand in promise

you nodded before leaving with felix, but you couldnt help feel something was off about him

he hadn’t called you by your name in years.

you and felix had decided to stay outside, sitting on one of the benches just to catch up with each other

mrs han had, kindly enough, sent someone over with a basket of food for you to snack on as you listened to felix talk about his friends

“i’ve missed this, you know?”

“missed what?” you asked, quickly swallowing a bite of your sandwich

“this, us, the two of us being with each other”

“o-oh” you mumbled, staring down at the food in your hand, “it has been a while hasn’t it?”

you tried to skirt around the topic, not knowing exactly what he meant or why he would miss you so much

you were avoiding his gaze, but you could still feel his eyes peering at the side of your face

“please look at me,” he whispered, and you dont know what exactly it was about his voice, but despite your sudden shyness at the topic, you felt compelled to look at him

he slowly grabbed your hand, the touch warming you instantly as he rubbed circles on the back of your hand

his eyes were glistening under the sun, roaming all over your face as soon as you turned to him

all you could focus on was him

his eyes

his freckles

his lips-

“hope i’m not interrupting anything!”

thank god for jisung bc you dont know how much longer you could stay unmoving under felix’s intense gaze

as soon as you looked at your best friend, felix had turned away too, scooting away from you and you wondered if he’d been that close to you the whole time

“you came!” you cheered as enthusiastically as possible, but felix’s actions were just replaying in your mind and jisung could tell there was something off about the both of you now

jisung had run the short distance left to you, sitting himself in the gap between you and felix

“so, sunshine, why’d you so desperately want to see me?”

“i wasn’t desperate, you fool, i just wanted all of us to hang out together, like old times”

“ah yes, the dream team plus felix,” although he was only joking, smirk on his face clearly showing that, only you and jisung had laughed at that

“hey, i was just kidding,” he said, nudging felix when said boy just carried on staring at the ground

“i gathered” felix grumbled, sighing before standing up, “i need to use the bathroom”

“i can show you-”

“i’ll find it myself.” he cut you off, walking in the direction of the castle

“whats got the prince so grumpy?” jisung asked rhetorically

you shrugged, his actions still reeling in your mind

“let me guess,” jisung started, “he got all moody as soon as i came, right?”

“now that you mention it, yes, he did, but what has that got to do with anything?”

in all your time knowing the two boys, they had never argued in front of you; the three of you always played together nicely, albeit they both were closer to you than they were to each other, but you just assumed that was because they never knew each other that well

now that you were all older, you hoped they had grown out of their childish ways, but apparently not

“um, everything??” jisung spoke, like everything he was saying was clear as day, “he’s probably jealous of us because i’m pretty sure he likes you.”

you laughed at that

hysterically

felix??? liking you?? that was CrazyTM even for that wild child

“seriously jisung i dont know how you came up with that, but that was a good one”

“for once, y/n, im not joking”

your chuckles died down when you noticed he really wasnt laughing with you

your eyebrows furrowed, confusion already lacing your words as you asked “why would he even like me?”

“beats me,” he joked, shrugging his shoulders and, despite that being a harmless, dismissive action, it hurt

so much

sure, jisung was your best friend but was there really nothing about you that he liked?

you hated how much a small gesture like that got to you, but you couldnt stop the sadness bubbling inside of you even if you tried

“wow, thanks,” you scoffed, dusting off your clothes before standing up, “i’m going to see if felix is okay.”

“wait, y/n-” he jumped up, pulling you back to him by your wrist. “i didn’t mean it like that, i-”

“it’s whatever, jisung,” you tugged your hand out of his grasp before walking back to the castle

you wanted to hear him out, he looked so desperate to talk to you, but your mind was hazy with so many different thoughts and emotions you just need to get away from him

so you walked back inside, taking your time as you climbed the staircase to the room that felix was staying in

you knocked on his bedroom door, entering when you heard a low, “come in”

he was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees as he stared at the ground, his hands covering his face

you rushed over to him, quickly shutting the door behind you, before you crouched in front of him

gently holding his wrists, you moved his hands away from his face

you brushed away his hair that had fallen in front of his face, glad to see that he wasn’t crying

but his crestfallen expression wasnt heartwarming either

he had barely glanced up at you, finding the carpet much more intriguing to stare at

“talk to me, felix, what’s the matter?”

“nothing, it’s stupid,” he sighed, falling back onto the bed. once again, he covered his eyes with his forearm.

you lay down besides him on the bed, staring at the ceiling

you both stayed like that for a while, completely silent, but it was comforting just being besides felix like that

jisung’s words were running through your head and, although you felt bad for leaving him like that, you were curious as to whether or not there was any truth behind his words

could lee felix really like you?

“hey, felix?”

he hummed, arm unmoving, to tell you he was listening

“has this got something to do with jisung?”

he let out a long sigh before turning onto his side to face you

you mirrored his position, staring at his face to see him doing the same

he bit his lip, closing his eyes as though he was contemplating what to say

when he finally opened his eyes again, you listened to him intently

“in a way, yes?” he started, chuckling a bit, “this is going to sound so stupid, but, i guess i just envy the two of you.”

you furrowed your brows, pouting slightly at hearing his confession - why did he feel jealous though? jisung was right about that part-

“stop doing that,” felix whined, his own lips pouting

your eyes widened at his sudden exclamation, “doing what exactly?”

“stop being so cute”

“felix-”

“i like you, okay? i’ve liked you for so long, but jisung likes you too and it kills me because i know that you’d pick him over me any day”

you couldnt believe jisung was actually right.

felix seriously liked you?

liked you as more than just a friend??

your thoughts were going haywire, his confession playing like a broken record in your mind

“i-i didn’t know-”

he laughed at that, facing the ceiling once more, “that’s kind of the whole point of a crush”

you were stunned.

how were you even supposed to reply to that??

“it’s hard not to like you, really.” he started, and you noticed his cheeks turning rosy with every word he spoke. “you’re so down-to-earth, unlike a lot of the other royals we meet who are conceited and full of themselves, you’re so kind to people, but you won’t ever let them push you around or take you for granted, y’know? and you’re always hands on, you love helping others out even when your parents or mrs han are telling you not to; god, i could go on for eternity about the little things i like about you y/n...”

by the time he had said all of that, he was facing you once more, hand slowly coming to rest on your cheek as he stared closely at you

“do you remember the first time we met?”

small smiles crossed both of your faces as you thought back to childhood memories

“of course i do, at the hwang palace”

hwang hyunjin was like a brother to felix, despite being the prince of a different country

the two were practically inseperable - whenever there was a formal event taking place, you would always find one right beside the other

you remembered that day very clearly. it was one of the first times you had actually left your country for a function. before that, your parents had kept you at home to review work since they thought you were too young to be out at large, noisy social events

so when you rocked up at the hwang party, hiding behind your dad’s leg as he greeted other kings, hyunjin and felix took the initiative to grab your hands and literally drag you away to the other kids there

hyunjin disappeared a little while after to beg the cooks to sneak you kids some food

and felix whisked you away to hyunjin’s room

at first you were scared (bc 2 boys were dragging you away and your parents were just smiling at you to have fun)

but you realised they werent all that bad. felix made you feel really welcome as he shared the food already in hyunjin’s room

you both played with the toys and half-built fort felix and hyunjin had already set up

and by the time hyunjin had come back with a massive bag full of sweets you were 100 per cent you didnt ever want to leave these two

you were literally on the verge of crying when hyunjin’s maid came up telling you that you had to go

you and felix were literally begging your parents to stay but to no avail :(((

that continued on for years after that until the 3 of you had grown up and it was no longer socially acceptable for 3 royals to go into a bedroom together for hours on end bc who knows what would be going on in there

you’d still catch felix sending you sly grins when you met him in the hall and he’d always jokingly ask you to dance with him

and each time you’d send him away or run to hyunjin to save you

spoiler: he never saves you

so you’d end up dancing with felix and it would be so bad

you knew he could dance bc he had put on performances at his own family’s events

but here you two were too busy laughing and chatting away to try to not step on the other’s feet

“i was so sad when hyunjin came back up, y’know?”

“why? we were in his room,” you laughed at his childish behaviour

“because,” he whined, “we were having so much fun together and you were the first kid that actually came up and joined us, everyone else stayed with their parents”

“i mean, i didnt have much choice did i? you two dragged me upstairs to play with you.”

“touche-”

by now both of you were staring at the ceiling again, thinking back on many childhood memories

“it wasn’t love,” he started, “we were 7 i dont think i even knew what love was then, but i could just- i don’t know, i could tell there was smth about you then. and when we met up after that i think i just fell for you a bit more each time.”

it was so odd hearing felix talk about how he liked you

the boy was always joking around, a grin plastered on his face, but here he was speaking so earnestly and it left you completely speechless

you couldnt lie to yourself

you had thought about felix in some romantic way before

as you grew up your parents would always make comments about how you and felix were so close

add that to the fact that both of your parents were very close too

you honestly thought you’d end up marrying felix one day to satisfy your parents and your nations

of course the topic of marriage wasnt for another few years but these thoughts had bombarded your mind every now and then - more so when your father announced the lees would be coming over

but right now, as you lay besides him, mind an utter mess, you had no clue how to respond to him

all thoughts abruptly stopped as soon felix spoke

“can i kiss you?”

your thoughts went wild after that, but somewhere in that mess you vaguely remember nodding before one of you moved close and the other even closer, diminshing any distance between the two of you

it was short but lasting

his hand came up and rested on your cheek, barely holding onto you like you were the finest china he had ever laid hands on

so scared to break you, yet unwilling to let you go

his touch was warm and comforting, like a sunrise, appreciation and love washing over you in blissful waves

you pulled away from him, his eyes slowly opening at crinkling at the edges as he grinned

“you dont know how long ive wanted to do that for”

you laughed at his excitement and the smile on his face, but the door slamming shut broke you out of this joyous moment

you had a sinking feeling you knew who was there and without wasting a second you got up

your mind barely registered felix calling your name out as you ran out, quickly catching up to jisung who was halfway down the stairs already

“ji, please wait!”

“why?? you seemed perfectly fine up there with prince charming!”

he stopped where he was, turning around and watching as you ran down until you were just a step in front of him

“can you just- can you please just talk to me, ji.” you sighed, holding onto his wrists gently so he wouldn’t run away again, although you felt he wouldn’t try anyways. “what’s wrong?”

“me! i’m what’s wrong!”

“i don’t underst-”

“god, y/n, i’m in love with you!”

and you froze.

you were glad jisung was holding onto your arms bc you lost your grip on any rational thoughts

you felt his hand slowly leave yours, instead trailing up your arm, your shoulder, your neck, until he reached your face, thumb running over your rosy cheek as he brushed away the stray hairs

“i’m sorry you had to find out like this,” he started, voice so quiet but so loud in your mind. “but i’m not sorry i feel this way. i probably should,” he chuckled, “but i don’t.”

you vaguely remember his fingers weaving through your hair as he pulled you closer to him, his breathing light as he murmured a small, “may i?”

and you nodded.

you dont know who moved first or who closed the gap between you, but you remember him.

his lips brushing yours gently before he pressed against you with more passion

his other hand dropped your wrist, finding sanctuary on your waist as he drew you closer and you gravitated towards him so naturally, so easily, he smiled into the kiss

your hands found purchase on his chest, his heart’s rythmic beating playing like a melody in your palm and you grinned too

soon enough you broke away, faces mere centimeters apart, both of you blushing and beaming

“you’re so stunning, sunshine” he breathed, not breaking the tranquility of the moment

and you couldn’t help but look away shyly, his gaze too endearing and intimate for you to handle

when you look back up his eyes are focussed on the top of the staircase and you worry your parents or staff are there, fuming

but when you turn around your heart dropped because there, at the end of the staircase, is felix.

hhhhhhhhhhh do i even need to explain how sorry i am that this took literal months to post??? the ending was killing me bc i didnt know how to write it and then personal stuff came up but nOW it’s finally done!!!! im gonna get smth up for jeongin’s bday too (lets pray i can actually post it before february ends). hope u enjoyed reading this!!!!

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suckitsurveys · 5 years

Text

Do you know anybody who is ambidextrous? My dad is. He writes with his left hand but does everything else right handed. Have you ever been 4-wheeling? Nope. What’s the weather been like today? It’s cloudy and in the mid 70s. What was the last exam you sat for? Uh. Will you be attending any weddings in the near future? Nope I’m not cool enough for people to invite to weddings apparently.

Do you currently have any unread text messages, and who from? My cousin sent me like 802043920803309021 messages yesterday, all paragraphs, all gibberish. I haven’t read them yet because I’m not mentally prepared to try to decipher what the fuck she’s talking about. She’d notorious for sending texts like that. Speaking of text messages, what colour is your cell phone? A metallic lavender color. Do you live anywhere near the woods? There are some forest preserves nearby. Would you ever consider a career in the tourism industry? Sure why not. Do you have any important anniversaries you celebrate? Yes. Me and Mark’s. We like to celebrate how many years we’ve been together total instead of how many years we’ve been married. We got married the same date (6 years later) that we started dating to keep that our anniversary. When was the last time you used q-tips? A couple weeks ago. How does your hair react to humid weather or rain? Ya know, I’ve never really noticed. What’s your favourite flavour of iced tea? I love jade citrus mint green tea from Starbucks. Do you understand music theory? Ugh. How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Not enough. Are you expected to act professionally at your job? Of course? Infomercials: entertaining or stupid? I haven’t watched one in foreverrrrr. What’s your favourite brand of energy drink? I don’t like energy drinks. Do you have (or have you ever had) acne? Ugh my skin is AWFUL. When was the last time you got pins-and-needles? My leg fell asleep the other day. Why did you click to take this survey? I felt like it. If you have glasses, have you ever smashed them? Not my prescription ones. Sunglasses, yes. How do you get new music? Buy or download or what? I just use Spotify. Have you ever sent someone an abusive text message? I hope any messages I’ve sent haven’t come off that way. Do you require a lot of time to do things or are you quick? Depends on what I’m doing? What will be the next concert you attend? Maybe Lizzo? If not, then Vampire Weekend IN SALT LAKE CITY hi Ellen. Turn the nearest television on, what’s on? There are no TVs here. How often do you “wake up on the wrong side of the bed”? Eh. Can you rap? Lol. What do you usually order when you’re at McDonald’s? Depends. McDonald’s is the only fast food place I like the burgers from, but in general I prefer chicken. So sometimes I get a Big Mac, sometimes a chicken sandwich, and sometimes a filet o fish. But fries. Always fries. Are there any textbooks near where you are right now? If you count instruction manuals and owners guides haha. There’s a bunch of those on my coworker’s shelves. What’s the time? 10 am. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Sure. How’s your body temperature right now? 98.6 or whatever it’s supposed to be, hopefully? Do you use Celsius or Fahrenheit? Fahrenheit. What was the last thing you got a really good deal on? I got two rainbow tye dye shirts for my niece’s rainbow themed bday party for my sister and I that were marked down from $25 to $9 each because they were “pride” shirts. Have you ever studied any ancient societies? Yeah. Do you like to wear long, dangling earrings? Yes, sometimes. What was the last reason you took medicine? I had a fucking terrible migraine. Do you exercise regularly? I need to start up again really bad. What is your coffee of choice? (flat white, cappuccino, etc.) Lattes. Do you pay any attention to your country’s politics? Yes and no. I know enough about it but sometimes I just can’t handle it because America is so fucking fucked up right now. Are you feeling worried about anything right now? Yeah. Are you a gossipy type of person? I’ll admit I like to gossip every once in a while. When will your next meal be, and do you know what it will consist of? I’m gunna munch on this pineapple I brought in a minute. And then for lunch I have a chicken caeser salad. Tell me about the sickest you’ve ever felt. I’m not sure. Thankfully, at least every time I remember, I’ve never gotten insanely sick. What’s your opinion on your in-laws, if you have any? I like them. Do you make excuses often, or do you just get things done? Both. Have you seen your best friend today? One of them I see every day because we live together. What can you smell right now? Myself. Any important birthdays coming up? My niece’s 6th and my 30th!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fireworks: yay or nay? I love fireworks. Do you have any plans for the rest of the day? Work. Then going to the city clerk to pick up some parking passes for my tattoo artist so he can park on our permitted street (his shop is right around the corner from where my dad lives). Then dropping them off and going to the gym for a bit, or maybe swimming. Then dinner with Mark. How about tomorrow? Any plans? Work. Then a quick dinner with Mark. Then going to see Wet Hot American Summer with my sister. They are showing it at a theater and they made a drinking game out of it. Should be pretty freaking awesome. Do you know how to do your own laundry or does someone else do it? I do my own. If you could eat or drink anything right now, what would it be? That pineapple I mentioned. Brb. Okay got it. Yum. What colour are your headphones? Mint green. Think of the last long car trip you had, where did you go? Fuck. Did I explain this? Long story short, my friend lead us on a wild goose chase because she doesn’t know Chicago and their beaches and we went to like 5 different beaches before we finally settled on one. We were in the car for 3 hours and we didn’t even leave the city it was a fucking nightmare. Do you have a Twitter account that you use regularly? Yep. Have you ever seen a horseshoe crab? They’re scary, right?! No, I haven’t. What was the last movie you saw at the theatres? Detective Pikachu. Are there any new movies that you’d really like to see? I still need to go see Toy Story 4 and The Lion King. If you could play one instrument flawlessly, what would it be? Guitar. Do you overthink a lot of things? Sure. Is there anybody you miss but can’t see again? My mother. When was the last time you had a hangover? Recently.

#surveys

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jayflrt · 2 years

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yea- i live in india too <3 my mother tongue is telugu :) and choosing college and university is really difficult because now if you wanna join into uni, you need a free seat(reservation) for medical and for engineering you don't need it because they are more seat reserved and the division for girls seats is 33% (that's a good point, if girls would take engineering, but most of them take medical, do you know that?)

basically this is what i know but i don't think it'll be hard to apply because you get a good rank and percentage, colleges and uni would call you for admission, so yea- this is indian education system. i don't know everything clearly, please do tell me if i am wrong :)

lmao, roommates, i mean i'd love roomies as long as they are not chaotic but i love chaotic people :') and i need to write my boards and not until i get my results, i just have to wait till may :( my birthday is on feb 23, hehe.

my day went good yesterday and on saturday we actually went on hunt for medical colleges and last two weeks we hunted for engineering colleges, so i have interest in both. ngl i love biology but i hate medical because it takes all of my time, and i wouldn't have time to talk to you at least but i love science a lot since young :( well, my parents said "leave her for a month or two, she'll take whatever she wants too" lmao, i'm totally confused but they have me time ;)

yea- and most of the hostels don't allow electronics and they are pretty strict lmao, i think i won't choose a hostel because i'll miss all my friends, parents and you too <3 so i wouldn't risk my life for jailing myself in hostel for two years T_T

btw sorry for the late reply, i was busy on saturday as i said and sunday we went out for a little family trip, just a few miles away <3

and i have my second dose between 12 feb to 23 feb, so i think i'll go tomorrow. and i love how organized you are *sniffs* like really, i'm too stunned to speak. i wish i had an organized life too, i'm making them right by spending time with my interest i have on things, but it's still pretty hard to get used to the timings :)

anyways, have a good day/night akka, it must have been a really long day and read, i wish you to happy the next day and even more happier the next next day. (the cringe, bye T_T)

really thank you so much for always giving me good advice and somewhat taking care of me a very little :) thank you and i love you akka <3

— 🦔

😔😔 ANON IF YOU SAW THIS POST IM SORRY AND GONNA TRY TO REMEMBER EVERYTHING I WROTE

my mother tongue is tamil tho !!! :’)) i think our languages have some similarities tho bc my mom speaks/understands some telugu ! :o and that makes more sense !! 💞 i’ve actually heard about the seats and stuff from my cousins when they were talking about their exams 🤧 i live in the us and the male to female ratio is so similar here too because more girls go for medical than engineering :’) like my friend is a computer science engineering major and says all of her classes are a bunch of men and like 2-3 girls (or she’s just the only girl there) 😳

also although i studied in india for a while, i know more ab the american school system atm so i’m just gonna trust you on that 🤩🤩 i’m sure you’re right HAHAH and omg roommates can be tricky 🥲 chaotic roommates are fun but not when you need to Not be distracted 😵‍💫 i think my roommates are pretty chaotic but they all know when we need to concentrate and grind on our studying 🤧 also omg your bday is coming up pretty soon !! i’ll make sure to wish you on that day 🥰💝 with the time difference it would be on the 22nd for me which is my other friend’s bday ! :o but i put it in my calendar as a reminder 🌸🌸

that’s great that you got to look at both colleges :o was there a campus that you liked better? 🥰 also biology is rlly good for medical !! but make sure you deeply consider what job/career you want in the future because i know people who went into medical who were good with bio and chem, but then they burned out because they couldn’t imagine going through it all to become a doctor with med school and boards 🤧 im sure the process of becoming a doctor is different there tho ! but take your time and you’ll know what to do !! i’m sure you’ll thrive where you go 🌷🌷 i’m glad you’re not staying at the hostel tho bc i cant imagine being away from my friends and family without being able to talk to them D: you need to be around ppl who are supporting you and checking in !! 💓

also omg pls don’t apologize for the late response !! i’m glad you got to spend time with your family and that it went well !! 💖💖 i was pretty busy these past few days myself because i’ve been trying to get ahead on work because i’m going on a little trip this weekend with my friends :’)) i had some time here and there to get to a few asks but i wanted to provide my undivided attention 🤧💗

omg you’re getting the second round of the vaccine ?? :o good luck !! the second was the one that gave me a fever 😵‍💫 but it was only for a day so i’m sure you’ll be good by the next day !! i’m sure you’ve already gotten it by the time you read this so i hope you’re feeling better now 🥰🌷 ALSO AAHH PLS i’m not that organized but i’m trying my best to be !!! 🥲 honestly i was super unorganized for like ,, most of my life HAHAH but i’m certain you can be organized too if you put your mind to it 🤩 honestly i think my interest in pc trading and the organization(?) that comes with it has just started applying to other aspects in my life

but i hope you have a wonderful day/night as well !! 💕 take care and drink lots of water ! (i wish i answered before your vaccine to remind you to hydrate yourself before 🤧) HONESTLY YESTERDAY FELT SO LONG but today was rlly relaxing and nice !! i’m gonna go work in a coffee shop tomorrow so it’ll be nice to have a week that’s more on the down-low 🥰 i hope you have a great week ahead as well <33 and of course !! i’m always here if you need to talk, vent, or need advice on anything ☺️ ily too!!!💖

#💌 : jayflrt love notes #🦔 anon #omg it makes me so happy when i see myself being addressed as akka :D #i think it’s bc it reminds me of my little brother 🤧 i miss him 💓

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inseomermaid-blog · 6 years

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An Inner Circle First-Timer’s Concert Experience In Seoul [#WINNEREverywhereTourinSeoul]

So. If you tell me freakin’ one year ago if I’d be flying to Seoul for a Kpop concert, I’d smack you for slander.

Buuuuut here we are, a week after WINNER’s Everywhere Tour in Seoul :))))) I’ve just begun to recover. Literally, it took me a week to get through the stages of mourning and to accept that it’s over HAHAHUHU

Anyway, here’s my (and Liz’s) experience in attending a concert in Seoul!

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Why we wanted to see them in Seoul (when it was sure they were gonna go to MANILA anyway):

1. It’s Liz’s annual bday trip gipp!! Or idk, this is part of the rationalization we thought of AHAHA. Initially, we were set for Singapore as it would be way cheaper for sure, but another reason came up....

2. We wanted to see them in their most “comfortable” version - Not sure if comfortable is the word, but I guess we wanted to see them how they were in their home country?? Speaking comfortably in Korean and all? We were anticipating that for other countries it would probably be just Yoon speaking most of the time (not that it’s a problem with us HAHA), and we wanted to see all them four being their natural makulit presence on stage (without them thinking about the language hinderance--even if kami yung hindi makaintindi sa kanila :)))) I know it’s a weird reasoning but :)))) And it’s been a long time since they’ve done a full concert in Seoul! We just wanted to be there in the kickoff concert. I mean, if we were willing to fly out to see them, o di todo na namin diba? Seoul it is!

How we got the tickets:

Here’s the thing: this is not our first rodeo. We’ve already successfully watched Coldplay in Singapore last year after (WHAT I THOUGHT WAS ALREADY) a bloody online ticketing war. Coldplay tickets were wiped out in 20 minutes, I think? But I was able to secure 7 tickets (3 VIP standing, 4 upper box tickets) after much death and resurrection.

We thought we were prepared for a WINNER ticketing war lol. We were not. Everything (or at least the seats we targeted) was more or less gone in less than 4 minutes.

There were two waves, one week apart. Both of them were intense :)))) I guess our third-world country internet cannot compete with their 5G data network?!

A HUGE HUGE HUGE thank you to Cams and Dianne for basically hand-holding me throughout the entire process of securing tickets from Seoul!! T_T Without them, we probably wouldn’t have gotten tickets. All transactions were smooth and hassle-free. There were a lot of K-ICs who also wanted G-ICs to attend the Seoul concert and thus were purchasing tickets so scalpers can’t get to them first. They also helped me with tips and advice on where to stay, where to go, etc etc as it was our first time in Korea. Sobrang bait and helpful nila as in! T_T

---

Of course that was only half of the problem:

In less than a month, we had to book flights (ANG MAHAL NA NITO SIYEMPRE), book hotel (Thank you Agoda for your occasional flash sales) and of course, VISA. We highly recommend TravelPros for your Korean visa processing needs! We spent around 700 pesos for this, and we got the visa in exactly 6 days. Super fast. Pero may drama pa kami dun sa visa requirements LORD HAHA pero hindi ko na kwento haba na nito. BASTA when we got the visa I wanted to throw a fiesta, ganung level =))

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CONCERT D-Day~~~

We wanted to get in early-ish because we were anticipating the DVD / merch line.

The train was a bit confusing for this stop!! We knew we were not the only ones because some of the Koreans were also confused where to get off haha

This ad greeted us before the exit!

Entering the Olympic Park Stadium~

Sure enough the line was at least 500m already when we arrived at around 10:45.

AAAAAND YES I lined up for 2 hours for the DVD 0_0 Under the heat of Korean summer 0_0

Questions in my mind while in queue:

1. why does everyone look so fresh except me

2. how to spot foreigners: they use umbrellas for the heat

3. Don’t be weak

4. why am I doing this again

Anyway, tada~

Let’s just ignore the part where if we waited until 3pm, or at least when the line tapered off, I could have gotten it without the sunburn on my batok but where’s the fun in that no?

Liz and teh boyfriend lined up for merch (mercifully it was shorter) and they were able to buy 2 lightsticks (OUR FIRST ONES YAY! Hirap daw lagyan ng battery lol) and shirts (X and XL lang ang available sizes but it still works out!?? What is this Korean sizing sorcery?!)

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All the cafe / restos were full (Mamamoo was also having a concert that day!) so we had to settle for convenience store food :))) It wasn’t bad!

Met Cams and lots of other PH-ICs who travelled from MNL! You can check out #ICsPHGoesToSeoul to see what everyone was up to while in Seoul.

We got a lot of fans (as in pamaypay) from different fansites (and thus we didn’t have to line up, yay!) and actually saw the faces behind big accounts* HAHA it was surreal.

Actually, the whole thing was pretty surreal (YA THINK) in a good way. Since it’s our first time to attend a KPop concert, we didn’t know a lot of things. One of those was... lining up for freebies given by fansites.

Girl, INTENSE. As in, pila kung pila ang mga bagets and not-so bagets. Paano naman kasi ang cute ng freebies! Fans, stickers, photocards, etc. Looking back feeling ko dapat pumila/bumili kami BUT holehhhshit it was really so hot, and after lining up for 2 hours we wanted to just save our energy.

Super tita namin right?!

Also most of the masternims who were offering their freebies were all speaking in Korean (malamang) so we didn’t know if it was free or for sale... AH BASTA MAGULO isip namin hahaha yeaaaah looking back we should have at least tried BUT yun nga, it was really too damn hot to walk around talaga. Maybe next time!! (next time talaga?!)

Kill time! We just randomly sat anywhere we could #ifItfitswesits

At some points, we could hear the sound check so medyo spoilery siya (we heard Jinwoo’s solo performance HAHA) at the same time we were like OMG 0_0

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FINALLY TIME TO ENTER!

Our seats were 2F (as in second floor). We were initially planning to aim for 1F but giiiiiirl waley. 2F wasn’t that bad! Ang nasa isip ko MOA Arena levels where it’s too high up. This was okay (as if may choice kami HAHA). 1F would be the best seats talaga. Standing is a gamble because there’s a chance you won’t be able to see anything BUT the interactions that WINNER made with the standing group was really worth it :))))) WATCH THE FANCAMS IF YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT I MEAN

I tried to use MIXLR for the first time pala, since I wanted to kinda pay it forward. The first time I “experienced” a WINNER concert was through Cami’s Fukuoka?? mixlr concert and back then I thought, it’s amazing that someone would really try to share this experience with us that can’t make it to the concert.

(Now that I’m replaying my mixlr, I AM SORRY FOR THE THOUSAND OMGs I SAID =)))) I swear I’m more coherent than that--except when you know, Mino was body rolling live, Hoony was lifting his shirt to reveal his perfect 6-pack abs, Jinwoo with his ethereal voice and stage presence, and Yoon’s powerful vocals and performance. Wala na talaga ako masabi kung hindi OH MY GOD =)))) So I’m not sure if I’ll ever mixlr again hahaha kasi marami naman who does it and is more pro about it??? let’s see :)))

Here are some notable thoughts I remember from the concert (sorry more Tagalog here because all the feels)

1. ANG GWAPO NILANG LAHAT. I mean, fo sure I didn’t stan them for visuals (promise talaga! It was really about the music. Sawain ako sa visuals actually) BUT hooooshit. They are different irl. I’ve seen them before in NAIA airport for like.... 10 seconds and like I knew they were really good-looking. BUT ON STAGE. IN FULL PERFORMANCE GLORY. THEIR VISUALS ARE INSANE.

youtube

2. SOLO STAGES. WHERE TO BEGIN. I didn’t know I’d see Mino perform Body live ever (I thought he had retired the song and I’ve accepted it) BUT GOOD LORD. The “mashup” for Body and TOTL was just made to be together. The stage and performance was oozing with sexiness and charisma and my mind was just a puddle at this point. Mino doesn’t do full-on sexy very often (am I right? It’s like between deliberate sexy and swag, he’d go for more swag) so when he did this... live... the body rolling... the kinda grinding.... we died.

3. JINWOO. Jusko. Where to start with Jinwoo. I’m rewatching our fancam of his Untitled 2014 performance and it’s the only one who made me feel goosebumps. Especially the part where he went up the stairs and the spotlight was on him, and he was singing so passionately and the audience was just in complete awe. IT WAS A MAGICAL MOMENT I CAN’T EXPLAIN. It’s like as he walked up the stairs and sang, it was like he was taking his rightful place as a superstar. Jinwoo is not even my bias but I super kaduper want him to succeed and become more confident with this abilities (I am speaking from someone who watched Who is Next haha). After his solo stage, my immediate first thought was: JINWOO IS READY TO HAVE A SOLO ALBUM.

4. YOON’S SOLO STAGE. Lol I cried. Ever since I’ve heard It Rains (his solo song), I’ve wanted to hear it live, but I didn’t expect that he’d sing it ever again--maybe he’d sing Wild and Young but not It Rains. The arrangement was “simple” but the experience was HOLY. As in, it was like angels were singing. His clear and strong voice filled the whole arena. The adlibs he did were insane. Literally it was like going to church. The lights and the background visuals were stunning. Sobrang full on drama / rocker Yoon mode! It is something to behold live. Also... INSTINCTIVELY. I also never thought I’d see Yoon perform with a guitar ever again. (Ang drama?? never talaga?? hahaha but I never know with Yoon kasi! He’s so experimental with genres that when he’s already done something already, it might take a long time for him to comeback [in this case, to his rocker roots]). When he took off his blazer... BAKLA SIGAW TALAGA AKOOOOooooo =)))) Looking at him perform like this, I can’t believe he didn’t go solo. I know he’s happier with a group (and I am thankful) but his presence as a solo artist is still very much there. I hope Yoon can release his solo album soon because Liz and I will definitely fly again to Korea when that happens!!! :)

>>>[OPEN FOR A SURPRISE]<<<

Grabe thissss pic.twitter.com/AvxeuT4Xoh

5. HOON. How so even begin writing about Deputy Lee’s stage. He performed Ringa Linga (modified with Hoon’s rap which was a cool touch I think) and Serenade (EVERYONE’S WAITING FOR THIS). I don’t know where haters get the idea that Hoon can’t dance. Like... are you guys BLIND?!?!? He’s one of the most naturally gifted dancers I’ve ever seen--because he dances to feeling**, not with just choreo. Ringa Linga was a perfect choice for him because he was able to showcase his vocals, dancing prowess and abs all at the same time. The dance breaks were insane. AND MY GOD, Hoon’s body is perfection. His arms, torso, legs... ART.

6. The costumes, lights (LIGHTS), pyrotechnics, over-all stage design was just A++++. I don’t know why I thought it was going to be a much simpler stage but they really went all-in with everything.

7. The nebula ocean was beautiful. I keep saying in the mixlr... “I’ve never seen so many Inner Circles in my entire life” because it’s true! For some reason there is a notion that we are a small fandom and maybe that’s true compared to others... but we are not less powerful. At least 99% of seats were taken, the standing was packed. Everyone was doing the fanchants. Almost everyone had the lightstick. It was humbling and inspiring to see all the fans who love WINNER come together in one venue, screaming their voices out and singing to the songs (while still being respectful and attentive to each stage performance).

4winner 4ever 💙💙💙💙#WINNEREverywhereTourInSeoul pic.twitter.com/dKXYst03v4

8. The boys really love each other. As in, you can feel their chemistry and their teamwork onstage. Of course, I don’t understand the ments while it was going on (by now I’ve seen the translated fancams of course) but I can definitely tell from their body language and the way they regard each other that they are brothers. And they were just so happy! Running to and from the stage, taking fan’s phones, they were on FULL-ON fanservice. I could feel the love from where I was sitting.

9. I want to pick my favorite stages but I don’t know how. It was surreal to shout “Neol johahae!” for REALLY REALLY and answer Hoon’s pizza pasta so so with “YUM YUM!” =))))) Sobrang surreal na nangyayari siya sa harapan ko at hindi sa Youtube (with subtitles). Love Me Love Me stage was super cute, Moviestar was tear-inducing. Speaking of Movie Star, the fan event was so funny! They were really surprised because it happened right smack in the middle (usually it happens at the end, but they were expecting it kasi). All four of them were very confused and I feel like they really didn’t see the video as much because they were busy being... confused with what was happening. But when they understood they look like they were touched and slightly cross that we were able to fool them HAHA.

Also:

MINYOON MINYOON MINYOON

10. There were many cute moments of ICs that I witnessed. Like, before the concert started, they were playing WINNER songs on the screen. Then suddenly, Body was played. Inner Circles all screamed =))) BASTA SOBRANG FUNNY. During Mino’s kissing scene, half of ICs were turned on, half were saying “Nooooo” =))) Then during encore, we were supposed to sing We Were (as in the whole song). When it was already the second stanza, the singing became softer and softer, because it was apparent that ICs haven’t memorized the lyrics. Everyone laughed hard. IT WAS SOOOOOO CUTE T_T

BONUS:

After the concert, we kinda rushed to the back exit to wait for WINNER. Lol it took more than an hour for them to come out (of course lots of picture-taking, maybe even speeches for the team, etc etc). We saw Yang Hyun Suk (ICs began to chant his name too #insidejokefromtheconcert and sure ako labas sa ilong yun hahaha), PO, Jinwoo’s dad, Yoon’s mom, most of the dancers (Gahee my love were you there) to name a few.

Again, it was a tender moment because the van was supposed to “cover” their exit from the door, but the fans cried “Noooo” and begged security to let us see them :)) So after a few minutes, the van adjusted its position, so WINNER could walk out and wave to the crowd outside. They looked very very very happy and thankful to see us. <3

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We met with some of the PH-ICs again to talk about the concert IN TAGALOG PARA TODO YUNG FEELS :))) I can’t wait to see everyone again in November!

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Aaaaand by 12 am we were back in our hotel after getting lost in Dongmyo exit HAHA. Can’t blame us, all our braincells were left in the Olympic Park Stadium :)) It was really a memorable experience that we hope we can repeat for sure on November (WHICH IS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH). Aiming for nearer seats this time, but let’s see what the universe will give us.

FINAL THOUGHTS:

I thought if I finally see WINNER live I’d be finally scratching an itch--like I’ve already see them live and that’s that. But NOOOOOooooooOOOOOooo. It’s completely the opposite. Now YouTube and mixlrs are not enough anymore T_T When you’ve seen them live... you just want to repeat the experience over and over again.

To all Inner Circles still reading up to this point: CONGRATS and THANK YOU:))

Also, my god. You can forget everything you’ve read up to this point but just remember this.

SEE

THEM

LIVE.

See them live.

I am not kidding around. You should, at least once in your life. Even if it’s just General Admission ticket or the farthest seat***. It’s different when you are in the same venue and you see them performing LIVE right in front of your very eyes. In my opinion, Yoon’s voice is 10x better live---recording absolutely does not do him justice. Same with the Mino, Jinwoo and Hoon. Their vocals, dance skills, over-all charisma cannot be simply captured by the camera. YOU HAVE TO SEE THEM LIVE TO KNOW WHAT I MEAN, WHY I’M SO ADAMANT ABOUT THIS :)))) I’ve seen performers that are exactly the same live as they are in YouTube or sound the same like Spotify but I can say with complete confidence: not WINNER. I can say their true strength is live performance.

I’m sure I’ve missed a lot but this is becoming a research-paper already HAHA so I’d end it here. SO glad we pushed for this trip, so blessed that everything worked in our favor (we were the last flight out before the NAIA airport incident happened huhu) and we’re already looking forward to November in MNL****! :)

till then bye~

P.S. If you want to chika more or need me to translate the Filipino bits lol just hit me up on teh Ask :)

*we saw at least 2 big Yoon masternims that we avidly follow talaga, 2 european ics we follow (lol “european” what is dead giveaway lol) and 1 of the 3 japanese KSY fans we also like HAHA so cute T_T

** I’m not a dancer, but my boyfriend is, and I remember him saying that personally he has more respect for dancers who dance according to what he feels--because it’s one of the highest forms of expression (as opposed to just relying with choreo). It’s a testament to a dancer’s ability that he/she is able to catch the beat without “thinking” about it too much--so the dance becomes the story of the dancer, not the choreo. LOL I think I’m botching his explanation about it but it’s just I remember Hoon whenever my boyfriend and I talk about freestyle dance.

*** Of course it you can’t make it due to various reasons that’s okay, but if you have a chance to make it happen, don’t hesitate. I’d say it’s worth every penny you’d spend to see them live.

#yg winner #winner yg #위너 #WINNEREVERYWHERETOURINSEOUL #ICsPHGoesToSeoul #YOON #강승윤 #JINU #HOONY #MINO

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cowboyseokjin · 6 years

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85 truths tag

rules: answer these 85 statements about yourself, then tag 20 people.

i was tagged by @jins-kiss Thanks so much url sibling!!!! I love these tag games :)

last

1. drink - red wine 2. phone call - my boss 3. text message - 😊😊😊 that’s sweet 4. song you listened to - OooWee Rapsody ft. Anderson .Paak 5. time you cried - yesterday

ever

6. dated someone twice - yes 7. kissed someone and regretted it - sadly yes 8. been cheated on - no 9. lost someone special - yes 10. been depressed - :/ oh yes

11. gotten drunk and thrown up -hahahha yeah

fave colours

12. black 13. red 14. soft pink

in the last year have you…

15. made new friends - yeah!! 16. fallen out of love - maybe… 17. laughed until you cried - definitely!!!! 18. found out someone was talking about you - haha yeeaahhh my friends like to gossip abt my love life 19. met someone who changed you - !!!!yes!!! 20. found out who your true friends are - all my friends are true 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list - yeesss

general

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl - all of them! 23. do you have any pets - one beautiful pup named Skye! 24. do you want to change your name - nah 25. what did you do for your last birthday - i got drinks with my some friends and my brother and then went to a seedy club!!! it was gross haha. But also got to get dinner with my family and go dancing with a friend which was really fun! 26. what time did you wake up today - around 9! 27. what were you doing at midnight last night - laying in bed 28. what is something you can’t wait for - the spring to come! 30. what are you listening to right now - Laila’s Wisdom by Rapsody 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - ahhh so many tom’s in my life throughout the years 32. something that’s getting on your nerves - myself when I don’t do the course work I need to 33. most visited website - probably here or insta 34. hair colour - brown 35. long or short hair - I’ve been growing it out so its pretty long!!! 36. do you have a crush on someone - constantly crushing on like eight people at a time 37. what do you like about yourself - love of music, caring for others, passion for work 38. want any piercings? - I might get more ear piercings???

39. blood type - im pretty sure its O+ ??? but maybe not… 40. nicknames - Becs, Becca, B 41. relationship status - sorta dating someone 42. zodiac - sagittarius 43. pronouns - she/her 44. fave tv shows - arrested development, the office, twin peaks 45. tattoos - one small triangle on my back! want more!!! 46. right or left handed - right 47. ever had surgery - no 48. piercings - 6 total on ears 49. sport - i run? 50. vacation - i went on a road trip to montreal in september! 51. trainers - is this running shoes?? yeah??

more general

52. eating - just ate bday cake for my brother’s birthday 53. drinking - red wine 54. i’m about to watch - the olympics 55. waiting for - SPRING and my job to really get started 56. want - to be in a stable relationship and to GET MY BACHELOR’S DEGREE 57. get married - mayyyyybeeeee 58. career - im thinking Human resources these days

which is better

59. hugs or kisses - im bisexual do you expect me to choose between two options??? both 60. lips or eyes -BOTH 61. shorter or taller - both both 62. older or younger - both! 63. nice arms or stomach - both!! love strong arms…a lil tummy? 64. hookup or relationship - relationship ok this one is one choice 65. troublemaker or hesitant - both both

have you ever

66. kissed a stranger - yeah 67. drank hard liquor - yeah 68. lost glasses - no! but have broken a couple pairs 69. turned someone down - yes :( 70. sex on first date - only once… 71. broken someone’s heart - yes :( 72. had your heart broken - i don’t think so 73. been arrested - nah 74. cried when someone died - yes 75. fallen for a friend - OH YES

do you believe in

76. yourself - hell fucking yes 77. miracles - maybe 78. love at first sight - no 79. santa claus - no…awww 80. kiss on a first date - for sure!!!! 81. angels - yes!

other

82. best friend’s name - robyn 83. eye colour - brown 84. fave movie - get out? dirty dancing? but I’m a cheerleader? 85. fave actor - lupita nyong’o? rock hudson?? lol idk man

Tagging:

@mintpatii @cuteseokjin @jinsasleep @2awake @habeenkii @seokjinlesbian @seokjinblinking @silvertae @gir1slove @pjmksj @funenergeticlover

If you would like!! And you! reading this ;)

#thanks again for the tag!! so fun writing my answers and reading yours!!!#<3 #text roast

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laurenborrelli · 6 years

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Allora, va bene

Ever since studying abroad in rome 4.5 years ago, I have been anxious about my next trip to Italy. Could it possibly live up to the experiences I had while living there? But it was not a matter of competition. I have graduated university, moved to Boston, worked in Architecture for 3 years, and traveled to 6 countries since. I am a different person now - so I tried to be excited to experience the same environment in a different way!

My roommate (Stephanie) for my first two years in Boston had moved to Rome to live with her boyfriend. Since Kate has never been to Italy and knows Stephanie, we decided to venture together to visit her! And while Stephanie sporadically moved home just 10 days before our flight...we made the most of quickly booking two new hostels in Rome and forgetting the money we suddenly had to spend. Everything happens for a reason. And that reason made our trip even better.

Itinerary:

Thursday, April 19th 2018: My flight departed Boston at 9:30pm. Kate’s left Chicago at the same time. As I boarded the plan I got a voicemail of her panting “Lauren - I just made my flight - I ran through security - they held the door for me - see you in Dublin”. So now that I wasn’t going to end up doing this trip alone, the journey began LOL. We met in Dublin and shared a pints of Guinness and Magners in an airport with the best amenities I have experienced. 6 hrs later we flew to Rome. It’s 8pm and we plan to take the train from the airport to Termini Station. I validate my ticket in the machine - all good. Kate goes to validate her ticket - rotates the ticket the other way - and pushes her ticket all the way into the machine and gets it stuck. The train is to depart in 3 minutes and our Italian consists of “scusa me” and “mis dispiace” uhhh ticket-a-stuck? Luckily the snail speed of the ticket attendant to walk over, open the machine, get us our ticket didn’t deter us from running to barely make it on the train. WHEW giggles and sweat overwhelmed us. We capped on the night by checking-in to our hostel and headed to a spot up the street for food. The dinner consisted of with bread + nduja spread and two personal pizzas. Safe to say we went to bed with full bellies and tired minds.

Saturday: Kate survived her first night in a hostel! She talked in her sleep the whole night...which I’m sure the 3 french, 2 british, and one not sure guys were pretty thrilled about! We were the two girls in an 8 person room...bachelor pad! LOL JK they were all under 20 y/o but very polite and easy to stay in a room with! The morning walking tour began with a cornetti and cappuccini at a small cafe where I used to frequent when I had meetings for a design competition Premio Piranesi. Moving on to Santa Maria Maggiore, through Monti, around the forum before the crowds, and checked-out my old lunch nook at the Campidoglio. Then down the stairs along Via Maior Arenula to see where my Cartography classes used to take place and crossed the Ponte Vittorio to check out the Vatican all before noon! There was a choir singing and thousands of people with matching hats...then suddenly the pope comes strolling out in his glass-less mercedes! He goes zipping around and suddenly comes within 10 feet of us!!! Kate and I look at each other in awe...ok we saw the pope in our first 24 hours in Rome we can die happy now. We later found out this weekend was Rome’s birthday, so there was a plethora of activities going on this weekend! After all of this excitement we FINALLY realized how hungry we were!! Pizza al taglia at La Boccaccia in Trastevere and found my old apartment! Then around the Pantheon and the journey back uphill to rest our legs at the hostel. With sunburned noses and hungry bellies we headed in Monti to Pasta Chef. Its a casual pop-in restaurant with a 4.9 rating on trip advisor - the paper plates and plastic cups makes it not seem like a roman restaurant. But the food was SO FREAKING GOOD! Grabbed wine and a tiramisu to go and wandered to check out the Trevi Fountain and Spanish steps at night. Ahhh what a perfect night cap to an amazing first day in Rome!

Sunday: Early morning at the Coliseum. My first time here since it was under renovation before! We beat (some) of the crowds and scheduled a 12am tour. We went inside anyways just to compare what it would look like during the day. As we left the crowds were in full form. Walked around circus maximus and say more bday celebrations kicking off. A huge parade of gladiators took off and we caught them at the campidoglio. Porchetta sandwich for lunch at my all-time fave Baccanale in Campo de Fiori. Espresso granita at Tazza D’oro, to Piazza Navona, then up to the Borghese Gardens. An earth day festival was happening. 75% of the sustainable crafts consisted of spray paint. Aerosols...earth day...jersey show...it all seemed too ironic. Spritz and pastries in the gardens and home for a quick nap / packing before the midnight tour! Made it all the way there despite all of the sketchy guys and cat calls and there was not one entrance point open. Of course the police barely spoke english and made inappropriate comments so we snapped a quick photo of the colosseum light up and quickly jumped in an uber. So did the ticket booth mean 12pm not midnight?...

Monday: Delicious breakfast at a cafe before our 8am train to Como! At our connection in Milan, the second Kate stepped foot on the train it started to depart. Whew barely made it. After struggling at the grocery store in Como with our luggage / weighing every produce item (what does the check-out counter do then?) and touching produce without a glove. We made it on the bus with all of the middle school kids getting out of school...lucky us! Our airbnb was about 30 mins from Como in a tiny waterfront town called Careno. The hosts met us at the house, showed us everything, and could not have been more helpful! We basked in the sun on the beautiful balcony with some snacks and rose. Ahhh now this is the relaxing part of the vacation. It was a beautiful ten minute walk down to the rocky beach basically through people’s kitchens. The water was cold and clear with a couple friendly “buon giorno” heard as we wandered down. Finished the day with some carbonara on the balcony and Italian dancing with the stars.

Tuesday: An early bus ride to Bellagio to go kayaking! Kate’s all-time favorite kayaking tour because it was 20% paddling and 80% chilling. Just us two on a tour with the guide, Mich. We asked him any questions we could think of about Italy - even how old kids are when they start smoking. The answer was 13 btw... We then had lunch of pizza at a hidden gem he recommended called La Grotta. Wandered through the shops to buy beautiful ceramics at Magda Guaitamacchi. The owner was an older woman who spent most of her adult life practicing art in London. She was the sweetest and really made our afternoon. We then spent a couple hours hanging at the park at the point. I did a bit of watercoloring and mostly enjoying the turquoise water against the snowcapped alps. We then hopped on a ferry home and enjoyed a spritz while on board. Our airbnb hosts graciously got us a reservation for the only restaurant in the tiny town of Careno. We had the corner table as the server had grown up with our host. The meal consisted of multiple courses, each with a particular backstory. All of the fish was caught in the lake and it was a wonderful way for us to learn about the history of the area. As we ended with the best limoncello I’ve ever had and bill way too discounted, our server grabbed keys and let us into the church next store. At first it seemed a bit like a horror scene but actually turned out to be magical and show how selfless his actions were. We went to bed absolutely stunned how we could meet three incredibly kind and giving people all in one day.

Wednesday: We checked out of our airbnb and trekked down the steep walk to the ferry launch with our suitcases. After running, sweating, and some last-minute help from our server the previous night (we stumbled upon him opening the restaurant) we made it on the ferry! A leisurely but packed ride to the town of Menaggio on the Switzerland side. It was the holiday for Italy’s independence after the collapse of WWII, so transportation and store times were a bit skewed. Luckily the visitor’s center was open and held on to our luggage free of charge! We strolled through town and had a beautiful waterfront lunch with sammies and spritz. After espresso and gelato we grabbed our stuff to take the ferry all the way to the train station in Como. The town of Como was absolutely packed! Happy we didn’t spend much time there as we grabbed snacks and took the train to our next destination - Modena! We arrived and checked into our next airbnb just in time to catch sunset on the rooftop. People were out drinking and celebrating. We could hear their cheering and signing resonating form the roof it was hilarious.

Thursday: We took the train in to Parma for our day filled with food tours! For my bday, my dad had found a guide who would take us to all local producers in region. It was just Kate and I on our personal tour with her! First stop: Parmigiano Reggiano! The name comes from the rural area of Parma and Reggio Emilia (clever). We got to see every step of the process and enjoy some delicious samples too. Next stop: Lambrusco winery! A refreshing wine with vines that are very young - completely different then my experience in Tuscany. Then to the Proscuitto and Culatello! Delicious meats but the parts hanging in the butcher’s stations were a bit much. How huge these pigs must be is also quite disturbing... Then to lunch at a small restaurant along a horse race track. Pretty heavy local cuisine which actually put me to sleep on our car ride back into town...oops! Finished off the tour with balsamic vinegar. Very interesting of every age is a blend of the old with the new - different then the rigidity of some aged foods. With bellies full of very rich indulgences, we headed back to Modena and grabbed aperitivo at this awesome spot in town. Great vibes, super friendly staff, gorgeous men drinking rose and on bikes, well behaved dogs, a bit of house music, and chips with our spritz...ahhh perfect end to a day once again.

Friday: A full day in Modena and my 26th bday! Morning at cafe with beautiful, innovative interiors. Walked around town and stopped in several stores for fun shopping. Walked through the food market where the Chef Massimo Bottura shops everyday. I made reservations for us to have lunch at his more casual restaurant Francescetta 58. Once we arrived, boy oh boy was I treating myself on my bday! We had a wonderful bottle of white wine with our tasting menus. Kate got the typical 3 course option and I treated myself to the regional 4 course upgrade. The dishes were the best I have certainly ever had and we left with the largest smiles on our face. Best meal ever on my actual bday?...this seemed like a dream. We then walked off a bit of the food and noodled up to the Ferrari museum. Pretty cool space with very modern architecture and the cars were pretty sick to see. The design of each car is so immaculate and just like with any museum, its awesome to see people appreciated the design of something. Being in the design industry this is something I admire and hope I can implement more in my type of work (even if it isn’t something common in the U.S.). Ended the day with apperitivo and a late sunset on the rooftop. And gelato cake in my favorite italian flavor of Amarena. Ah what an awesome day!

Saturday: Took the train back to Rome and arrived at a different hostel for the final leg of the trip. We grabbed a late lunch at Pasta Imperiale - a casual spot similar to Pasta Chef and then headed to my favorite museum Museo dei Fori Imperiali. It is Trajan’s market which was accidentally found below ground in a street repair! I have never been in a building that is an artifact in itself! Great how interactive it is and puts the extensive Roman history into perspective. An evening then of apperitivo and walking around Monti with a reasonable bed time.

Sunday: Early morning visit to the Trevi and the Spanish steps before the crowds then hopped on a train to see family an hour south! It was Kate’s time visiting our extended family and seeing the town our great-grandmother (106 this year!) is from. Carlo and Paula picked us up from the train station and gave us a beautiful tour of their lush garden. It was filled with vines for wine, fig trees, strawberry planters, and a beautiful brick oven. After a delicious lunch we headed up to Ventosa where my great-grandfather is from. We saw the house my nana gave birth to our grandpa. We saw her old home that is still abandoned and looks like it was bombed just yesterday. Then went down the hill to Santi Cosma e Damiano and walked through the church that my nana got married in. She also left her diamond earrings in the palms of the saints the night before she moved to the U. S....The piazza outside is where my great-grandfather apparently saw my nana coming out of church and realized he wanted to date her. He had come back from the U.S. to find a nice Italian wife that would move with him... and then there were facebook icons graffitied in the wall next door. Oh how times have changed! LOL The views from these tall towns are stunning and the younger family members speak much better english then last time! So it was fun to converse with time about their recent European travels and what life is like form them living in the larger town of Latina. Took the train back into Rome in the late evening and grabbed dinner at a fancy food court in Termini Station that our hostel host had recommended.

Monday: Last day in Italy! We walked all through the city up the Giancolo to see the cannon launched at noon. We walked around the tempietto and hung in the Villa Doria Pamphilj park. Then down the hill to the Vatican, to find out that it was completely mobbed and would take us forever to even get inside the chapel. Next time, Kate! We grabbed lunch at the most modern restaurant I have seen in Rome called Bar del Fico. It was great and I hope more like these start to pop up! Similar type of restaurant that Modena is filled with! Then spent the afternoon bopping into a couple art stores, checking out Ara Pacis and back up to grab spritz in our fave little garden bar at Borghese Gardens. We even stumbled upon a gelato festival!!! This was an awesome surprise and while I didn’t have the appetite for it, Kate certainly did! The flavors were incredibly diverse and unique and she had the largest smile on her face the entire time! We ended the night grabbing pizza at Alle Carrette.

Changes since my last visit:

Security: This was my first experience going through a metal detector before entering a church! Man things have changed in Rome since I lived here...but for the better! Better for this precaution then to have a scary situation inside the church. To get into St. Peter’s square we even went through many check points - one including the guard making me drink my water in front of them. Ah yes just water no acid ;)

Spring flowers: This time of year there were flowers growing everywhere! The wisteria around the wedding cake building made it look a bit less...intimidating. The pink and white flowers along teh spanish steps were beautiful too.

Old apartment: It’s converted into a beautiful restaurant/hotel. Which is a relief because the place was falling apart and felt like a lost opportunity when we lived there. Pretty surreal walking around but not a sappy feeling, just happy that I got to have my time there.

What will never change:

Coffee: UGH it’s inevitable to not go a morning without a cappuccino or an afternoon without an espresso. Even kate was having a cappuccino every morning by the end of our trip! They just prepare it so perfectly well that how could anyone not resist.

Work hours: We would be in a park in the middle of the day and it would be littered with people! It was awesome to see how lively and happy everyone was, but why aren’t these people at school or work?... Our Parma tour guide had said full-time jobs aren’t prevalent in Italy now, but is it really THAT bad?

Men: SO. MANY LOOKERS! Very few people acted on it but definitely intimidating for walking around in the evening as two girls. However I did realize if you want to feel good about yourself - go to Italy. If you want to feel bad - come back to the U.S.!

I feel very blessed that the universe brought Kate and I together for this trip. The trip never felt overshadowed by my previous experiences and I could not have been happier to spend it with someone I care so deeply about.

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steamishot · 4 years

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nature

it’s been kinda uneventful and lonely at the apartment because matt is on ICU rotations. he leaves at 6:30am and doesn’t get home until 7:30-8pm. so i end up having an odd eating schedule - a light dinner at 4pm and a real dinner a few hours later lol. today is officially his last day on this rotation as he heads to clinic! progress: we went almost a month without fighting and finally had an argument on sunday evening. most of the time we argue, it’s not actually about the issue on hand - not to place the blame entirely on him, but many times it is due to displacement of stress. the fights tend to happen after a rough rotation. so, i will try to learn not to take his words personally during these times.

i got my first haircut in what seems like forever today. in LA, i would go to the chinatown salons and pay for a $12 haircut, with tip it would be $15. twice in my life i paid $25 (one at a korean salon and another at a thai salon). $25 is still considered on the lower end for a haircut but i wasn’t into investing that much money into haircare lol. today, i went to a “no frills” place in chinatown according to yelp for a $25 cut & style. the hairdresser was described as “super sweet” by many reviewers. she and her sister run the shop and they’re malaysian chinese. she asked if i spoke cantonese but i said i could only understand a little bit. i’m learning that “sweet” may mean something different in NYC. i notice everyone here kinda has a little bit more spunk than people in LA. this lady talked my ear off - which is a change for me because i literally have nobody to converse with in person besides matt. i liked that she gave me a lot of tips and shared knowledge about hair. she spent a good amount of time with me and was super friendly.

according to her, i have very fine hair. i can wash my hair everyday and it is recommended to blow dry instead of air dry. i can use conditioner, but only use it on the bottom half of my hair and never at at scalp area (my hair is weaker and thinner there). my hair also thins out with length. if i were to color my hair, only get the bottom half colored for the same reason above.

she also taught me how to style/curl my hair which takes less than 2 minutes to do. i developed a more complex makeup routine now. it’s more elevated but i can still get ready very quickly. if i can keep my hair/makeup to take less than ~7 minutes total, i think it’s worth it to look more presentable and feel more confident everyday i leave the house - and also not look like i’m 12 lol.

it’s matt’s birthday this upcoming monday. i feel like there’s really nothing material that he needs. one thing i am considering is the magsafe wallet for the iphone 12. unfortunately, since the item is quite new/hot in demand, i’m afraid it might take a lot of effort to get my hands on one of these in time lol. his mom texted me yesterday and said she would like to buy dinner for him/us as a surprise. i was like “nice! download ubereats. here’s his fav restaurant and choose this order” haha. besides that, i’m planning on cooking steak. i’m also picking up a pumpkin pie which will act as his “bday cake”. as long as he has a feast, i’m sure he’ll be happy.

we recently learned that massachusetts has/is implementing some covid travel rules. basically, we have to have proof of a negative covid test or quarantine for 14 days - or we would get a $500 fine. it would be simple for matt to get a covid test, but i don’t want to go out to get one, especially because i have no symptoms. i tried looking up at home kits but they’re so pricey and i’m not sure how/if my insurance would work here. anyway, i feel like it’s not worth the trouble and have decided to cancel our boston trip.

in place, i have decided that we will go to upstate NY for hiking/nature! one pro to this is that we’ve never stayed overnight at a naturey place together (always city life). another pro is that it’ll be both of our first times (he’s been to boston). i suppose the last pro (and also most important pro) is that it’s the most responsible option for traveling. i remember during LDR that it was difficult planning things with matt. when he’s working 80 hours a week, planning things in person also is not the easiest. it makes me a bit anxious because i want to have plans set in stone for a holiday weekend, and i don’t want to risk waiting a few more days for him to become less of a zombie to be able to participate in the planning process in case something sells out. so not only does the program dictate a residents schedule, their s/o is also largely dictated by it. how evil lol.

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gonebethebirds · 4 years

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Looking Back at The Bay

This weekend, I went back and looked at every drive/flight/trip between SoCal and the bay since I’ve moved in 2013.

Here’s what I found:

2013:

August 29th, drove from FC to OC in my move to SoCal! (Jimmy later came down to visit, early November).

November for Thanksgiving. Dan Liu came to stay. Definitely drove up & back with Jenn.

December (mid month), definitely. Not sure re fly or drive.

2 trips, at least 3 drives, 1 trip not sure.

2014:

January, for New Year’s. Not sure re fly or drive.

April 4-6. HMB with Lauren (green shirt). Went to the city with a bunch of friends (Jimmy, Giana, Lauren, Janelly, Briana). Four Seasons pool with Dad. Flew SNA-SFO.

May 23-25ish. Went to a tiki bar with Giana and Lauren. Also went to a Giants game, I think with Dad. Not sure re fly or drive.

June 3-4, to say goodbye to Kassie. Flew.

July 3-6. Left straight from M&R. Definitely drove.

August 8-10. Jesse & Anu! Drove.

November for Thanksgiving. Worked at M&R in SF on Dec 1. Drove with Jesse.

December 12-14 for Christmas. Flew.

8 trips (or 7, kind of), at least 6 drives, at least 6 flights, 2 trips not sure.

2015:

January, for New Year’s. Definitely got to see Lauren & Giana together, at least once. Not sure re fly or drive.

March 13-15, with Lina. HMB. Golden Gate Bridge with Lauren and Giana. Drove.

July 10-17, for a week after M&R/ before MSK. Beach/coast day with Lauren, north of the Golden Gate. 100% sure I drove. Took I-5 on the way up and PCH on the way back down. My first time.

August 21-23, for Elyse’s wedding. Took pictures in the city with Jenn and Brian. Flew.

December 10-14, for Christmas. Boat Christmas party. Eucalyptus Ave. Jenn was definitely home too. Giana and Janelly slept over one night. Went to that holiday party with Tina. Flew.

(No family Thanksgiving; Thanksgiving this year was in Mexico, but I did do a Thanksgiving with Jenn and Brian in Signal Hill first). 5 trips, at least 4 drives, at least 4 flights, 1 trip not sure.

2016:

January, for New Year’s at Giana’s place with her, Sherry, Jessie, Janelly, Sherry, and Tina. Took that pic with Shemus. Not sure re fly or drive but I think I drove.

March 25-27 (four seasons pool weekend with dad). Got ramen. Went to Cheesecake Factory with Giana and Sherry. Also went to Pacifica. Flew LGB-SFO.

April 22-24, with Jesse, Katie, and Lexie! Boat ride with Lexie and Giana. Definitely drove. Lexie and I took PCH on the way back.

August 19-21, with Carina. She met dad! Went to the Buena Vista in the city. I also recall having some people over for a small barbecue but don’t have any pictures (I think Tommy Boyd was there, Jenna, and some other people). There was cornhole in the backyard. We drove.

October 5-9, to hang with Dad & Mom post-surgery and injury. Went to Target with Giana and Sherry and dressed up in random crap. Flew Virgin America.

(No family Thanksgiving; Thanksgiving this year was in SoCal. Christmas was in Riverside for the first time). 5 trips, at least 4 drives, at least 4 flights, 1 trip not sure.

2017:

January, for New Year’s. On the 2016 side of this, Dec 30th, I went to Lauren’s in Oakland and had some Christmas loaf. Celebrated New Year’s in Palo Alto with Giana, Sherry, and Carmen. Drove! Snow on I-5 on the way back! As of 6/8/20, this trip was the last time I drove by myself. Giana and Lauren later came down to visit, March 31st. We went out in Long Beach.

April 28-30, with Carina. She met mom! Went to SF the night we got there, with Giana and we got margaritas. We went for a walk around FC, and also hit Crystal Springs the day we flew back. Flew. I later got to see Giana in New York with Tommy Boyd, May 21st.

August 4-7, for OSU buds, Jenn & Brian’s announcement, and Giana’s going away party. Lauren was at Giana’s thing. Flew.

August 25-28, went again for Mom & Dad’s birthdays. Dad & I re-did my old bedroom (and also hit the pool at the Four Seasons). New corner of the backyard was finally done. Flew.

October 20-23, with Dan & Chrystal. Dad had the new four-chair setup in the living room. Definitely flew JetBlue, LGB-SFO. Lauren later came down for Halloween (Scooby Doo group outfit).

November 23-27, for a combined Thanksgiving & Christmas. Ate a lot on this trip and kept passing out as a result, lol. While Carina was in the desert with her family, Hector bit Caiba. Flew.

6 trips, 2 drives, 10 flights.

2018:

January, for New Year’s with Carina. On Dec 30, 2017, went to Palo Alto with Carina, Giana, and Sherry. Dad later came to SoCal for Kinsley’s arrival. Mom also moved to SoCal on New Year’s. Flew.

March 16-19, with Jesse, Katie and Carina for St. Patrick’s Day! Drove up with J&K (I was passenger) and flew back (via JetBlue, SFO). As of 6/8/20, this was the last trip with any driving involved.

June 20-25, Giants game, big barbecue in the backyard, pride at the park. Blue Jell-O shots at my bbq courtesy of Giana and Sherry. Got to see both Giana and Lauren at my house on June 21st. Flew.

August 8-12, to help dad after surgery. Didn’t really see friends as Dad was the focus but did see Giana and Jessie at Giana’s aunt’s place. Flew.

August 17-20, went again for Nicole’s wedding. Boat ride with Carina, Jimmy, Brian, Kirsten, Monique, and Amber. Going away party for Giana at her Aunt’s house (with Carina, Lauren, Jessie, Sherry, and Giana’s friend Zach). I believe this was the last time Giana, Lauren and I were all together. Fun day going around SF with Carina while it was kind of cold/rainy (we took pictures by the painted ladies then went to a small coffee shop). Flew.

November 26-27, sort of, just for a day after Iceland as an extended layover/ between flights. Just one night. Thanksgiving had been in Iceland with Carina and her mom.

December 7-10, for Christmas. Kinsley kept us up all weekend. Flew LAX-SFO on Southwest. (Then Dad later came to SoCal in Jan for Kinsley’s one year bday party and we went to dinner in Laguna for my bday and our engagement).

7 trips (or 6, kind of), 1 drive (on the way up only), 11 flights.

2019:

May 2-5, to visit Dad after surgery. Buena Vista with Lauren. I think we went for vegan Mexican food beforehand. Got to meet Brian’s dog Ruby at Brian’s place in FC. Flew SNA-SJC on Alaska.

June 28 - July 1, with Carina and saw lots of friends at the bar night in San Mateo (Giana, Jessie, Janelly, Brian, Monique, Jimmy). Small backyard BBQ with just Jimmy and Giana (and we made those frozen Oreo pops). Flew SNA-SJC. Brian and Monique later came down to Laguna for the 4th of July.

September 12-15, just for the weekend for Carina’s launch party. Dad had redone the TV room at the house (by the kitchen). I ran the Golden Gate with Lauren the morning of, and got to see her the night before, too (where we hung out in Oakland and a creepy dude lurked outside her place). After the chunk of time with Lauren, I had a super nice time in the city with Carina. Her launch party on Treasure Island was fun, and the next day we had a full day of walking around and exploring the city. We stayed at the Palace Hotel, and went to Sweet Maple for brunch. Awesome all the way around. It was a gorgeous day and one for the books. Definitely flew SNA-OAK, SFO-SNA. (Then Dad later came down to Laguna in October, Oct 18-20). Also later got to see Lauren in Oceanside on November 17th.

(No family Thanksgiving; I believe JBK went up, but I stayed back to see Mom on Thanksgiving day then host Thanksgiving dinner at Katella with Carina’s family). 3 trips, all flying.

2020:

January 17-19, for my birthday, with Carina. Saw lots of friends (Brian, Jimmy, Monique, Amber, Russ, Chris Tham, Jessie, Gal). Fun night in the city with all of them. And then HMB with Lauren and Carina. Flew SNA-SJC on Alaska. Dad later came down a week later for Kinsley’s 2nd birthday.

1 trip so far, all flying.

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wayward-marvel-sommer1196 · 7 years

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Tag Game

Rules: you must answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @kdfrqqg It’s been awhile since I’ve done one of these lol. I wasn’t even in the SPN fandom the last time I did one.

1. Drink? Pepsi

2. Phone call? My dad

3. Text message? My sister

4. Song you listened to? Say You Won’t Let Go by: James Arthur (literally gives me goose bumps every time I listen to it.)

5. Time you cried? 4th of July (Don’t ask)

6. Dated someone twice? No, I’ve only ever had one REAL boyfriend and a bunch or near misses

7. Kissed someone and regretted it? Never kissed anyone

8. Been cheated on? Nope

9. Lost someone special? Yes

10. Been depressed? Yes, like all the time

11. Favorite colors? Purple, Blue, and recently Red

In the last year, have you… 15. Made new friends? Yes

16. Fallen out of love? Love-love no, semi-love yes

17. Laughed until you cried? I dont think I’ve ever laughed til i cried??? Laughed until my stomach hurt sure but not til i cried

18. Found out someone was talking about you? Unfortunately

19. Met someone who changed you? Yes, not in a good way

20. Found out who your friends are? 100% yes I love my girls so much

21. Kissed someone on your facebook list? No one that wasnt in like a family matter

General 22. How many of your facebook friends do you know in real life? a solid 97% only because some are family that ive never met.

23. Do you have any pets? No Dad hates pets, but do babies count? because they are equally as frustrating and I live with two under the age of 3.

24. Do you want to change your name? yes too many jokes and annoying nicknames

25. What did you do for your last birthday? Got my hair done, had some pudding cake, and went to Iguana Mia for a free lunch with my mom and her boyfriend and then binged Gilmore Girls b/c mom didnt feel well so we went home and did nothing after like 2.

26. What time did you wake up? 7:30 because of the babies I live with but didnt get out of bed till 8:15

27. What were you doing at midnight last night? On here actually

28. Name something you can’t wait for: Graduating College but that ties with Getting Married

29. When was the last time you saw your mom? a few weeks ago?? I know im horrible but her work schedule is all over the place and my life is so unpredictable but i do try and talk to her every other day.

31. What are you listening to right now? My family messing around

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom? yes

33. Something that is getting on your nerves? my job not giving me shifts and my step nephew with his lack of respect for adults

34. Most visited website? Tumblr

35. Hair colour? Dark brown with a tint of burgundy because I havent gotten it dyed since december (my bday) and red washes out real fast but leaves subtle traces especially in the sun

36. Long or short hair? As of now on the shoter side, like shoulder length, but if you would have caught me a month ago it would have been hella long got 10 inches cut off

37. Do you have a crush on someone? As of now NO because my last crush stomped on my heart and crushed then ran it over with a semi so I have sworn off men unless celebrities count????

38. What do you like about yourself? Honestly, right now nothing thats one of my issues. BUT if I had to pick I guess my loyalty??

39. Piercings: just your standard, run of the mill ear piercing

40. Blood type: 0+

41. Nickname: Don’t have one because I refuse to share what my mom called me throughout my childhood. So i just go my full name Sommer

42. Relationship status: single and hating men

43. Zodiac: Sagittarius

44. Pronouns: She/Her

45. Favourite tv show: UGGGHHH too many. SPN, most superhero shows, most crime dramas, Greys Anatomy, and more. I used to be a tv addict and started watching a bunch of shows and although i dont watch them much anymore doesnt mean i dont still love them

46. Tattoos: Yes, on my right foot. Its part two to a quote that me and my sister got together. “....but thankful for the one ive got.” she got “A perfect sister i am not.....”

47. Right or left handed: Right

48. Surgery: If getting my wisdom teeth taking out (all four of them at once) counts then yes other than that no.

49. Piercing: Already answered

50. Sport: None, I suck at all sports and hate them all too. I was and am more of a book person than a ball person, but I do enjoy a leisure swim on occasion

51. Vacation: Would love to take one but im broke. My last was a high school trip right before i started my senior year where we traveled through five states making stops in each until we ended in indiana for the convention we needed to go to and then came back.

52. Pair of trainers: don’t know what this means

53. Eating: I wish I was lol My dinner sucked ass. Man, I wish I had a nice juicy steak right now with a baked potato and asparagus yum

54. Drinking: at the moment nothing but the last thing I drank was at like 2 pm and now its almost 10 (oooppps) and that was a mocha coffee from DD

55. I’m about to: take a shower then outline some god damned stories that are haunting me right now

56. Waiting for? something good to happen in my life for once

57. Want? To be prettier, but I am slowly losing weight which is helping that problem. OOOOHHH and my best friends to be with me right now

58. Get married? I would love to at some point. Not anytime soon, but I also have to find someone who can put up with my difficult moody ass for the rest of our lives sooo..... that could be awhile

59. Career? Now none after college hopefully a forensic scientist/CSI since that is what my degree is going to be in

60. Hugs or kisses? Bith

61. Lips or eyes? On an S/O eyes hands down on me i guess my eyes

62. Shorter or taller? On an S/O taller I guess I have a type lol a bit of a height kink. On me shorter im only 5′2

63. Older or younger? Older although if it was only like 2 years younger Ii would be cool with that just not any further

64. Nice arms or nice stomach? These questions are so superficial and I feel superficial for answering them but I guess in a S/O stomach on me I have neither soo...

65. Hook up or relationship? Relationship, im a sappy sappy romantic at heart a hook up is too impersonal and so crass I want the feelings

66. Troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant

67. Kissed a stranger: No

68. Drank hard liquor: Being that I am only 19 I’m legally obligated to say no, but my oldest sister is a horrible influence so I may have had a taste a few times

69. Lost glasses/contact lenses: No but I have lost a retainer, twice, in the garbage. Yeah my parents werent to happy with me

70. Turned someone down: Depends? for a date no. for anything havent we all. sex never been offered.

71. Sex on the first date: Virgin, so no and I’ve only had one real boyfriend that wasnt really a relationship anyway so yeah

72. Broken someone’s heart: I want to say no, but I guess I have not in a relationship way but you can break anyones heart for any nimber of reasons

73. Had your heart broken: Hell the fuck yeah but so many damn people

74. Been arrested: No, close once but the store guy let me go on a warning

75. Cried when someone died: Yes, doesnt everyone unless the deseased is like an axe murderer or something

76. Fallen for a friend: Ugh this question. I hate it so much. Yes, that boyfriend I mentioned that was the situation and that didnt end well. And then my sophomre year I was like in LOVE with this kid I had known back in elementary school and he was my best friend and he was out of my league and let me down gently. Then i fell for my frenemy my senior year, but he neber knew and it was just a phase for me I guess it didnt last long

Do you believe in… 77. yourself? Wish the answer was yes, maybe come again another day?

78. Miracles? sometimes

79. love at first sight? I would like to but Ii just can’t

80. Santa claus? I wish, but I am glad to pretend for my niece and nephew

81. Kiss on the first date? Sure if it went well

82. Angels? Nope. Sorry

Other 83. Current best friend’s name: Well, I got three. They are my girls, my squad. Weve all been best friends for going on 4 four years. Sam, Dana, Solange

84. Eye colour: Brown, boring I know

85. Favourite movie: Can’t choose just one so like the entire Marvel franchise? Can I do that? Too bad I just did

Im supposed to tag 20 more people but honestly my hands are cramping its after 10 and I really need a shower so if you want to take a crack at this I totally encourage you too.

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amiraxbdullah · 4 years

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hello tumblr! well we’ve missed alot but okay. i’ll try to remember wht had happen over th last few months. 📌 first thing first, i got (finally!)married to th (real)LOML on th 211219! alhamdullilah! #theWanforMira is finally halal! --- th wedding went well and smoothly on both sides, thanks to our family, groomsmen and bridesmaids. we had 3 beautiful outfits as per picture by my dream bridal, With Love Yumi and i was beautified by kak hidayah. i had a beautiful decor by SID, superb delicious food by my mak. it was a memorable day we(or atleast i) wont forget. i got S to dance for my hadang. not only tht, he had his groomsmen to dance along too, not to a song, but 2 songs! heheh, i was literally smiling ear-to-ear when i saw him dance for th first time. it was so cute, i cant! i wanted to cry cos i knw he wouldnt do such things yet, he always suprises me. sigh. i love this gem 💎

📌 routinely, whoever get married, will head over for their honeymoon right? so did we. ours was a secret destination(to our family) until we were sent off by our them(which was quite a surprise, cos it was a Monday) & friends. i was a lil too attached to adam, so i cried when i left him. --- anw, our honeymoon was @ TURKEY! we went for 12days! 3nights at Cappadocia & 6nights in Istanbul! before all these, pls consider us having an almost 24hrs flight + stop over at dubai. (then i realised i have a pimple at my groin. applied acne patch and okay, lets sleep till next flight)

📌 CAPPADOCIA: we came here for th same reason others would, their hot air balloon! arrived at nevsehir airport, safely and frozen! yup, cos we were just in sweater and jeans! thank goodness we got our self airport service and they’re just in time! lucky us, he let us rest in th van first(warmer: on). phew! and yes, being asian, we’re very foreign to th weather and super amazed tht cold air came out of our mouths. hehehe. also, glad we took airport transfer cos th route to th hotel was dark and took us 30mins to reach.

1st day, arrived at hotel, Henna Konak Hotel. got checked in, chill(cos jetlagged), we had our dinner and bam, we had our sleep. oh wait, no. im missing out an important part. so remember th pimple? yup, i remove th acne patch and put plaster which i bought from their local shop. it was a cloth-material ya, not th typical elastic waterproof kind. chop-chop, we slept it off and next morning. checked email: tour for hot air balloon was extended to tmrw as to a bad weather. it was very windy and very cold. {pimple check: a lil redness seen, swelling a lil} weather checked: 4-5°C

2nd day - woke up for breakfast and ever ready for our tour! so showered, remove my plaste---- checked email: TOUR CANCELLED DUE TO WEATHER. MONEY IS REFUNDED. very devastating 😭😭 long story short, we’re aimless roaming for souvenirs, finding for alternative tour since hot air balloon is cancelled! explore places to eat and enjoy watching alot of stray dogs and munchkins! hehehe theyre so adorable i wanna chew them, okie im not sadist. {pimple check: --- (I ACCIDENTLY PULL MY SKIN AND TEAR IT WHILE I WAS REMOVING TH PLASTER) yes O-U-C-H! moving on, i applied pantyliner over th pimple cos now it looks like a pus. EWW. swelling got bigger.} weather checked: 2-4°C

3rd day - we have been having cappadocia breakfast and enjoying every bit of it. we literally had fruits and mains for breakfast. so we got a tour. normal museum visiting, history knowledge and S bought me an onyx ring which (super)pretty! it changes color depending on light! heheh as a souvenir too! and, we did ATV! first time for me cos S did ATV bfr, so he got th hang of it. we were fetched and sent to another place for it. as we travelled, it gets colder despite th warmer in car. random weather check, it was -2°C umm okie, reached destination > briefed on ATV > chose our helmet(i chose a helmet tht has no face shield) and leggo! as we drove, im getting a hang of it and enjoying it until, i increased my speed as my trainer was way ahead and thts when, i got snow slapped! it was a cool experience also.. unforgettable. cos initially it was drizzling, little did we knw, it was snowing. we were starting to freeze. and bummer us, we left our phone in th ATV-house. lucky we had a nice trainer, he had our shot taken by his phone. {pimple check: now, i have to stretch bfr i even do anything, just so my groin is “seasoned” and also cos im limping a lil.} weather checked: 1-3°C

4th day: to summarise our cappadocia trip, we enjoyed th company of new people. met new friends. l learnt how to ride ATV. we have a valid reason to come back for hot air balloon. sad to leave as it starts to snow. Cappadocia will be missed! checkout > head to airport. {pimple check: swelling gets worst. pus is eliminating itself, causes mess. redness got worst too, signs of infection. limping not getting any better too.} weather checked: FINALLY IT SNOWED! -1 - 1°C

📌 ISTANBUL: okay nope, not gonna do th day-by-day thing again. haha, im gonna summarise it. cos, i didnt really enjoy my istanbul trip, except we could sightseeing, explore museums, food(kunafeh all day, everyday!) and met Aysenur! she is my bestfriend’s(Nad) friend! while my biggest highlight was our stay for a week @ Yasmak Hotel & my infected pimple. Yasmak Hotel was 11/10! really, their customer service was 110%! their breakfast was always lit! okay, its lit for us cos we’re asian? hahah. but really, we would go back to th same hotel and definitely diff itinerary. i’ll post pictures in my next post from my honeymoon! wait ya!

📌 CORONA TIME. period. no attachments, hence 2mths holiday! wooo! 📌 we were suppose to celebrate S’s advance bday in Bangkok. plans cancelled due to covid(corona virus disease 2019). so we change to KL, well better than nothing. guess Hes th best planner above all. Malaysia had lockdown. so no ones entering in or exitting out. OK. so staycation it is. 📌 2mths ends in 2days, tht means school start! yes. FINALLY, I’VE BEEN ROTTING AT HOME. okay no, school had to be on hold, so everything do online, okay. lets zoom! summary of my 2months @ home, i did cooking, i learn to cook new dish, housechores all day-everyday cos sis is staying at in laws. hehe. okay bye! love, mira.

#thewanformira

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kyemeruth · 5 years

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Belated.

Happy birthday to me!

First quarter of 2019 ends today. It came like a storm, really battering me through, and challenging my faith and overall resolve. I felt like giving up most of the time, asking when will these end? Then you’d realize it’ll only end once you completed the stuff you undertook to begin with. Ayun, so kayod din talaga. Picked up a few insights along the way. Here goes:

Napagod ako. It was like running a marathon and I constantly need to look for some breathing time, then plunging right back to work. The breathers were supposed to be long enough to recharge me, but I felt like working on half battery lives most of the time. Gahhhd. To be fair, kasalanan ko rin. I said yes to two research papers. With pay naman. And then I also had to write my own paper for an international conference by March. Then the school journal editor emailed me to say I had to revise the paper I submitted years back, for possible publication. I had until May. Then teaching and also some ministries I said yes to our church. Looking back, I realized what stressed me most at that time was the fact that: one, everything had to be done in a month or impromptu; second, I’m alone or I’m leading the team and everyone’s quite dependent on what I had to instruct or say. It made the work doubly gruelling. Delegation was key and worked for some tasks. May ilang nainis nalang ata ako, so ako na nga. Third, partly doing it for the money or a different motivation that set me apart my passion to undertake the job. This is directly connected with the fourth factor: I was stressing the fact that after March, it’s possible that I’d be jobless and insecure. So I need other side jobs to keep me afloat and pay the necessary bills that are starting to pile up. So yun, andaming pagod-- most of it was me stressing out stuff. Natural to be one. But it also put my faith to the test.

May sagot si Lord sa tamang panahon. So totoo yung sinasabi ng AlDub. Talagang darating yung mga bagay na pinagdarasal natin at minimithi sa takdang panahon. I was already thinking of alternatives-- where to work, which jobs I need to take just to get me through the year financially, what should I improve on to get back on track, etc. Ganon na yung level of planning. The sem’s about to end and I needed a back-up plan. Pero ilang araw palang dumaan ng January, sumagot na si Lord. Permanent sa Univ, lumabas yung papel. My “thank you, next” turned out to be the best “thank you, Lord” I’ve uttered for the longest time. No need to look for a job. The next issue I had to contend was finances. Really struggling on this since I went freelance on 2016. He answered through friends who were willing to prolong terms of payment sa ilang bayarin, also my parents and siblings who lent me money just to get through. Grabe yung asa ko sa mga tao sa paligid. By Feb, wala pa ring kasiguraduhan yung sweldong tunay sa univ, pero yung mga raket na bigay ni Lord yung tugon. Sabe ko nga, God provides not by how you see it, but through His perspective. Darating sa oras na kelangan mo na talaga. Di naman pinagkulang. Just a few weeks back, I was already decided not to pursue the conference in Yogya; but God again intervened. Yung di inaasahang lovegift meron; tapos habang andun ako, dumating na yung pinaka-aantay na sahod. Sumasapat at dumarating sa oras na tingin mo gipit ka na.

Gumagamit Siya ng unlikely people to help us get through difficult times. The whole trip to Indonesia was a lesson on trusting and on kindness. Sabe ko nga yung kinaiinisan ko pang pastor yung nagpaabot ng panggastos ko for Indo through the lovegift I received for lay-out ng Sunday School lessons project niya. A friend still allowed me to use her card to book tickets kahit may utang pa ako. My aunt sent money for registration fee. And two new friends I met at Yogya really went out of their way to help me find a bank that would allow me to get the money wired to me by my aunt. It took us three tries before we got the money. They were even chatting and telling me a lot of stories bec they sensed I was already panicking. Without them, stressed talaga ako. By night, I ran out of time to buy souvenirs but the caretaker of the hostel I stayed also graciously drove me to the night market to get last minute pasalubong. If not for him, lugi ako sa tawaran at oras. Maraming beses na parang feeling ko keri ko naman mag-isa. Pero andun yung wisdom ni Lord: hindi, may tutulong sayo past those hurdles. Naalala ko tuloy si Taekkie-apa sa R1988 when he was talking to Sunwoo’s omma about depending on friends and people around you. People are pressed to work on their own, individualistic ba-- pero we really rely on community to accomplish much better goals. So wag mahiya magtanong. Wag mahiya humingi ng tulong. Pero wag din abusado siguro. Hahaha!

Wala pala akong matinong birthday celebration. The closest I had was dinner with family, and watching Charot! with friends. Well, may sorbetes para sa lahat on Sunday at may bonus na temple visits on my last day at Yogya. Grateful na ako dun. Gusto ko ba ng bonggang bday celeb? Hindi naman. Gusto ko lang siguro ng oras na ma-set aside yung araw na yun para namnamin yung me-time. Mas mahalaga na yata sakin yung me-time. Haha! Gusto ko lang umakyat ng bundok para magmuni muni but the deadlines won’t allow it for now. I had to finish checking final requirements as soon as I returned home, upload grades, and also complete the papers I need to write and submit. Maybe this April I can find some time to do late celebration. Sana.

Friendship never ends. Or so the Spice Girls think. I remembered I did not turn on my FB bday notifs which led me to a few thoughts too: onti lang talaga nakakaalala ng bday ko + salamat sa fb for reminding us of special days + ok rin sya para di ka marindi sa dami ng notifs for a day. No unnecessary catch-ups (hahaha ang sama!), no need to reply to everyone hahaha! Naalala ko yung isang article online about FB cultivating seemingly dead connections; para kang bumubuhay ng zombie-- unless you feed it with a conversation-starter or a common ground di naman kayo mag-uusap even in real life. Or unicorn blood. Immortal virtually yung friendship, but in real life parang wala na yung spark, yung connection. Sakin mahalaga din talaga yung real-life convos at yung usual kwentuhan at tambay. Nakakahinayang kasi may ilang gusto mo pa rin kausap pero parang di na yun yung wavelengths nyong ginagalawan; o di kaya, marami na nagbago; o ganun pala talaga siya kaya di naman talaga kayo sobrang close. Hahaha hello mga ka-dede-es na kakilala. No hate naman, no tampo sa mga di naka alala. Nakakatuwa lang isipin na technology really brings both the best and worst in human connections; and we’re glad to realize these despite our constant dependence on these things.

Andami kong gusto at pangarap. Isa-isang ipagdarasal. Relationship at life partner is number one, wow. Willing pala ako i-set aside ang doc studies to spend time to get to know people and that one person. Naks. Sabe ko nga dun sa isang post, I’m trying to enjoy this season. Mejo confused din ako kung kukuha pa ako ng Econ degree-- pero naalala ko, pangarap ko din talaga ang development economics even before I did SEA studies. Di ko pa rin alam. May options to study at a private uni or at our uni pero depende pa rin. Pangarap kong ma-publish in an acad journal this year. Salamat kay Lord kase pinush nya rin talagang matuloy ako sa Yogya and hopefully, todo na ni Lord, mapublish na rin yun sa ASEAN journal kung san man. Mahal ko research at gusto kong karirin to. Di ko pa alam pano exactly, really praying hard for these things. Salamat kase bakasyon na. May oras mag-relax at mag-re strategize ng ilang mga bagay. Also, yung last minute chika kanina with several church friends ay enlightening. Kaluha actually. The reminder was that God doesn’t want a life of compromise for us. He designed us to live a full life. Bibigay naman niya yan. Kapit lang at siyempre talagang bibitiw ka din dun sa ilang bagay na akala mo iyo na pero di pala. Yun yung masakit pero yun din yung ikakapit mo sa kanya.

Overall, saks ang feeling ko sa first quarter. Parang tumatawid ka ng Red Sea. Hahaha! May dry land na at pwede na lumakad patungong land flowing with milk and honey; pero syempre di natin maiwasang matakot sa metaphorical Egyptians na may banta sa buhay at freedom natin; at naroon din yung takot na baka biglang bumalik yung mga tubig at lunurin tayo. Si Moses na rin nagsabi e, trust talaga at full obedience kay Lord. So far, the devos point to focusing our lives to God. He will direct our paths. Katakot, mahirap, often masakit, pero may peace of mind recently. Paulit-ulit pero ok ring balikan ang lessons na ito.

#damn damdamin #saloobin at muni-muni

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solasulad · 5 years

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November Update Mo’de.

November 9th I don’t even know what’s going on. I thought I wanted dick tbh. Like thought I was okay with fucking with him cause I didn’t feel anything for him. Turns out I play myself and etc you already know how this goes...

So I’ve been talking to mode on and off lately mostly weekdays for like 2 weeks we been texting. Was supposed to see him Sunday or something but said fuck it and he never replied back. So he says he has a phone issue okay I get it cause he downgraded to a iPhone 6. Kinda make sense but idk if I even wanna believe his phones been acting up since February.

So.. we had talks of plans on meeting up. Come Monday he’s been very friendly with me via text. Even when I give him half ass replies he takes it and says something else. Told me me missed me again, I said yah sure should’ve ghosted your ass he’s like why? I told him he’s like sorry we can chill this week. This week ended up turning into a w/e feeling tbh. Like I was horny mad horny i was even down to fuck him and not say anything either. Just go there fuck and leave nothing else. Maybe even end it the feeling was just trash tell him I moved on or something and that I want to focus on my self. Sound like a white bitch but it’s true. I really wanted to end it at some point. Everyone I know says he’s not worth it. Damn even my mom says he’s not worth it. He challenges my insecurities. He isn’t that good looking but he makes me feel like I’m just average at best.

Nov 20th So cont. he sends me a message on Tuesday asking about my bday and that I should let him know if anything changes. I said I would, then he finishes the text sentence for me with one word & I reply back like you finishing my sentences he’s like yah real one I’m like cringing rn he’s like boo I’m like don’t.

Lol^ but he never texts me affectionate stuff so that was a turn off since I was already tryna distance myself from that.

So come to Wednesday we still talk via text only** I was horny too 😭 so I messaged him asking if he was busy after work. Then replied back he’s with his homie.. asked me if tomorrow was okay I was like okay.

I just wanted some dick tbh nothing else maybe a little cuddle that’s all 😰

Come Thursday, we text during the morning was still replying late the other day. W/e but we did have plans to link up that night. - we link up Thursday night. He pulls up to tim hortons in my area and I get into his car. We’re just talking for like a bit suddenly out of nowhere my younger brother pulls up, him and his friend in my step dads car. I see him get out the car smoking a cigarette and just standing there.

I’m shook at this point. I lean back in mode’s car because I don’t want to be seen. I confused because I don’t wanna expose myself but I want to approach him and smack him across his head. So he goes into Tim hortons, mode tells me that I should go and just say I saw him pulling out of the drive way. Once he goes inside I quickly run in the store and approach him. I look at him and can tell he’s high. His eyes red, smells like shit & can’t even focus.

So I talk to him and tell him fix up. That’s not the kinda path he’s gonna wanna be on when he’s older.

Long story short, I told him go home and I’m see him there.

I leave the area call mo’de to link up again and he follows me to another spot near by. We talk for a bit I can’t even remember what cause it was two week ago. But we talked for a bit then started making out. He pulls up to another spot, we get in the back and he’s so horny. My intentions that night was to fuck. But the whole seeing my bro thing fucked me up. Like my mind wasn’t there. I couldn’t do it.

I couldn’t fuck knowing what I saw. And he was really horny too. I recall him kissing my neck down to my breast and me feeling sad. Like I felt like crying. I even shed a tear but wiped it away. I was just looking at him rubbing his chin, and asking him if he missed me he’s like he does. But I ended that night. Told him I had to go, it was getting late he’s like what, come on Im super H’d. My whole Mode just changed man. Like I felt like crying, felt so bad and sad. Just wanted to be held nothing more. I realized it he can’t love me and that hurts. He can’t love me how I want him to love me. Made me even cry harder that night. So I left it as that. Messaged him later that night when I got home saying I was sorry & that shit just caught me off guard. Didn’t mean it. He’s like he understands. Texted him Friday morning also and then he said he could see me later on after work. I said that was cool, yah cause it’s Friday why not. So I ended up agreeing for 8:30 ish. My friend was buggin so I invited her over and went to the mall together to do a little outfit shopping for Marisa’s bday. So... times getting closer and he’s not hitting me up. I message him at 9 and ask busy? He’s like yah i say it’s okkk. I leave it as that. From Friday to next week Thursday I never hear from him. Whole week last week I was like when’s he gonna text me. Check for me? Send me snap? Nothing. Anyways I literally left it as it is, & see a text from him Thursday afternoon asking what’s up. I reply back and so we make plans to link again. He asks about my mtl plans and that’s a flop. Says he’s still going so I’m like lol have fun, he��s like why don’t you come. Awww he’s such a lair I love it. Like tell me to come with you and you gonna hurt my feelings. That’s what niggahs do.

November 22nd cont. He texted me Thursday we talk about the basic shit and kinda make plans to link up but the doesn’t happen. Friday night we say let’s met after work, okay bomb so it’s planned. I get home and have to deal with my older bro getting him a rental under my name. Smh so I’m running back and forth in traffic in the city with him. Let mo’de kno what’s going on. Text him he’s like it’s cool, after works still a go. I get back to the house around 8pm perfect timing. Tell Hoyo I’m about to step out for a bit then bam. He hits me with “his friend got into an accident this is his second accident in two weeks” damn I said. Alright.

Next morning he asked what I was up to I was busy dealing with family wedding planning that weekend so I wasn’t really checking for him like that. I send a text asking if he could visit me and he’s like yah around after the wedding and he’s like yah that’s okay. I’m at the wedding waiting for a text back from him kinda, cause it was an early wedding dinner. By 9:30 I was out that place back home. Didn’t want to stay home but I tried to see what he was up too. No reply back I just left it as that. Texts me in the morning Saturday now asking what I went when I texted him. Convo continued, it was kinda dry. But never really cared. Just wanted dick at that point but also was on my period :(..

He still messages me Monday and we agree to see each other after work. The time comes to see him and I’m already ready at this point. I’m home I leave without telling anyone just out the house Start the car and wait to text him.

We met around his ends a plaza parking lot. I arrived at the plaza around 8:10 maybe waited till 8:40 for this guy. So I was just in the car playing music crying going through emotions while waiting for him.

He comes, I get in his car and we drive off to the back of the plaza... I’m on my period so nothing could even happen. But he parks the car and we talk. We didn’t talk about my bday or the Mtl trip, we didn’t talk about us and how we wanna go from here, we didn’t talk about texts and how we waste each other time. Instead we talk about stupid shit that won’t even matter. I just called him names that whole night. Made fun of him jokingly but seriously. But I did kiss him when I got into the car at first.

Woah, my train of thoughts everywhere. Shit probably doesn’t even make sense but I’m tryna sum it up. So we talked for a bit then made out. Jumped into the back seat to make out further. Took my jacket off and had him kissing all over me. His soft ass kisses, shit got intense cause I felt his boner through my pants and pad. I had him screaming, moaning telling me he’s coming don’t stop. My jaw got fucking tired but it ended he came so much cum holy. But to end that night, he told me to text when I get home, I told him hit me up if you wanna go out, aka niggah I’m tryna go out..

So fast forward next day Tuesday I’m still calling him names via text. Convo doesn’t really go anywhere but I wanna see him again 😔😔 I just wanna cudddle it’s so cold outside :(

Wednesday I tell him I wanna cuddle then says come then said I’m wild for leaving in the cold. W/e I just want dick and to cuddle not a big deal.

Don’t have plans with him to see him but once my period ends I’m gonna fuck.

- Friday November 23rd.

So i thought.

Thursday evening around 7pm the convo was going. Mostly all Tuesday and Wednesday was kinda sex talk. But thursday night he messages me asking if i was home told him yah he's like lucky I'm like nah i wanna be cuddled up with you.... That was around 7pm..

i don't get a text back until 9am friday morning aka tonight.. He messages me like so come through.. Im like damn. its a little to late now, then he follows up with a confusing ass convo talking about how he always fucks up things.. Im like L o L have a good weekend talk to you monday.. He's like where you going? I'm like dead at this point because nothing he's saying makes sense and is confusing as fuck. So i sent a text around 6 or 7pm once again and get no reply now its 11:30 just ending off the night.

Well i know what we are and know we won't be anything more. I don't want a relationship no matter how much my tummy feels for it.

I can't deal with that that type of fucked up ness in my life.

Either you with me or you aren't.

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