Can’t stop thinking about how after this when her dad says that is just speculation and she replies that it isn’t speculation because she lived it like…can you imagine that pain she has been harboring for 5 weeks??
She basically woke up from the most “that was so intensely real I feel strange feelings” dreams EVER where she lost both Ryan AND Ace but also she felt such unbridled happiness alongside that pain. And it wasn’t a dream. It was a premonition. It wasn’t foggy after you wake up like a dream. It was clear and palpable.
She knows deeply what it feels like to both finally be in love and loved by Ace and also what it feels like to lose him and she’s just had to sit with that for five weeks like no wonder she can’t find a fucking ferret
Last night started with them coming out shortly after the speakers blasted Blur's "Under the Westway" and ended with Ezra jumping off the stage and throwing handfuls of $2 bills into the crowd for good luck and then dozens of strangers dancing to "New York, New York" and it was a perfect, perfect hell.
Over the weekend a friend of mine said ‘I tried giving ‘Modern Vampires of the City’ another try because you love it so much but I just…I don’t know’ and that upset me so much I shouted ‘BUT HANNAH HUNT’ and then had to leave the room for a moment to collect myself.