#well. except for the numbers. I did exaggerate those

[tragedykery]

singing wrapped

the karaoke video you loved the most was bag of bones, which you played a total of 53 times. sick of it yet? your neighbours definitely are!

your favourite song to sing and play on the piano was christine, causing your mother to get it stuck in her head for a total of 27 times. time for an apology, maybe?

the song you sang the most without any accompaniment was far over misty mountains cold. this was also the song you did not finish the most often because you forgot the lyrics. lol.

the song you thought about singing (but did not sing) the most was that unwanted animal. that’s fair.

the song you sang the worst was brutus. so sorry to say this girlie but you sound like absolute ass </3

the tune you sang the most with different, made-up lyrics was schnappi das kleine krokodil. what.

#spotify wrapped #sorry ​this post would not leave my brain until I made it #elli rambles #these are genuinely my guesses for those categories tho! #well. except for the numbers. I did exaggerate those #also the story behind the last one is that I regularly sing terms of endearment and variations of my brother’s name to the tune of schnappi #to greet and/or mildly irritate him. though I’m pretty sure it’s become an autism thing at this point #I don’t even know the german lyrics only the dutch version lol #…​ok well I know ‘ich bin schnappi das kleine krokodil’ but that’s it

[vetyr]

hi, i ireally love your work and i don't know if you've answered this before but, what kinds of studies do you do or how did you learn color theory? i wanna get better at rendering and anatomy but im having trouble TT TT

Hi! Long answer alert. Once a chatterbox, always a chatterbox.

When I started actively learning how to draw about 10 1/2 years ago, I exclusively did graphite studies in sketchbooks. Here's a few examples—I mostly stuck to doing line drawings to drill basic shapes/contours and proportions into my brain. The more rendered sketches helped me practice edge control & basic values, and they were REALLY good for learning the actual 3D structure behind what I was drawing.

I'd use reference images that I grabbed from fitness forums, Instagram, Tumblr, Pinterest, and some NSFW places, but you could find adequate ref material from figure drawing sites like Line of Action. LoA has refs for people (you can filter by clothed/unclothed, age, & gender), animals, expressions, hands/feet, and a few other useful things as well. Love them.

Learning how to render digitally was a similar story; it helped a lot that I had a pretty strong foundation for value/anatomy going in. I basically didn't touch color at all for ~2 years (except for a few attempts at bad digital or acrylic paint studies), which may not have been the best idea. I learned color from a lot of trial and error, honestly, and I'm pretty sure this process involved a lot of imitation—there were a number of digital/traditional painters whose styles I really wanted to emulate (notably their edge control, color choices, value distributions, and shape design), so I kiiind of did a mixture of that + my own experimentation.

For example, I really found Benjamin Björklund's style appealing, especially his softened/lost edges & vibrant pops of saturated color, so here's a study I did from some photograph that I'm *pretty* sure was painted with him in mind.

Learning how to detail was definitely a slow process, and like all the aforementioned things (anatomy/color/edge control/values/etc.) I'm still figuring it out. Focusing on edge control first (that is, deciding on where to place hard/soft edges for emphasizing/de-emphasizing certain areas of the image) is super useful, because you can honestly fool a viewer into thinking there's more detail in a piece than there actually is if you're very economical about where you place your hard edges.

The most important part, to me, is probably just doing this stuff over and over again. You're likely not going to see improvement in a few weeks or even a few months, so don't fret about not getting the exact results you want and just keep studying + making art. I like to think about learning art as a process where you *need* to fail and make crappy art/studies—there's literally no way around it—so you might as well fail right now. See, by making bad art you're actually moving forward—isn't that a fun prospect!!

It's useful to have a folder with art you admire, especially if you can dissect the pieces and understand why you like them so much. You can study those aspects (like, you can redraw or repaint that person's work) and break down whether this is art that you just like to look at, or if it's the kind of art that you want to *make.* There's a LOT of art out there that I love looking at, probably tens of thousands of styles/mediums, but there's a very narrow range that I want to make myself.

I've mentioned it in some ask reply in the past, but I really do think looking at other artist's work is such a cheat code for improving your own skills—the other artist does the work to filter reality/ideas for you, and this sort of allows you to contact the subject matter more directly. I can think of so many examples where an artist I admired exaggerated, like, the way sunlight rested on a face and created that orange fringe around its edge, or the greys/dull blues in a wheat field, or the bright indigo in a cast shadow, or the red along the outside of a person's eye, and it just clicked for me that this was a very available & observable aspect of reality, which had up until that point gone completely unnoticed! If you're really perceptive about the art you look at, it's shocking how much it can teach you about how to see the world (in this particular case I mean this literally, in that the art I looked at fully changed the way I visually processed the world, but of course it has had a strong effect on my worldviews/relationships/beliefs).

Thanks so much for sending in a question (& for reading, if you got this far)! I read every single ask I receive, including the kind words & compliments, which I genuinely always appreciate. Best of luck with learning, my friend :)

#answers to asks #illustration #art advice #art help #drawing #digital art

[seungkwansphd]

we get along infamously

pairing: jeonghan x reader wordcount: 5.2k summary: you can never, have never, will never get along with Yoon Jeonghan, but unfortunately you have a chemistry that is simply undeniable. no strings attached is perfect, except when those pesky feelings and that new girl decide to pop up unannounced. genre/themes: smut, enemies to lovers, rivals to lovers, emotional constipation, reader is in denial. chaotic seungkwan.

a/n: OKKK! this is filthy so i hope you enjoy it :)

   You sighed deeply as you looked at Jeonghan across the office. You’d thought that, maybe, after hooking up with him your strong feeling of anger towards this man would dissipate. No such luck. It seemed that the only time you could stand him was when you were in the midst of intercourse with him. Even shortly before and after, you found yourself bickering.

“If you plan to kill him, please do it off of company property,” your HR manager and friend, Minghao, joked as he took a seat beside you.

“Of course, Hao, I would never force you to do that paperwork,” you laughed heartily.

“Thank you,” he nodded at you prudently.

“I know I’m not supposed to know in an official capacity, but…?” Hao shot a meaningful look at you.

“Yeah,” you sighed, “We did.”

“And?”

“Incredible. Infuriatingly incredible. And I still want to beat him with a rock at work.”

“Hm, interesting,” Minghao quirked an eyebrow at your statement. “So much for all of that nonsense about dopamine and whatnot.”

“Seems so,” you wrinkled your nose at your friend before glancing at your computer screen. “Did you need something for real? Otherwise I should actually do some work today.”

“Nope, just being nosy,” Hao laughed, standing to leave your cube.

“See you later,” you blew him an exaggerated kiss as he left.

    Jeonghan’s eyes flitted surreptitiously from your cube as Minghao walked away from it. He certainly hadn’t been keeping tabs on you and he definitely wasn’t curious who was making you laugh.

    Yoon Jeonghan. Your workplace rival for the better part of the last year. He had been hired on as your peer and had been a hotshot right out of the gate. He was smart and sharp, which were generally desirable traits, but also maddeningly argumentative and cunning. He had a talent for managing office politics that utterly infuriated you.

‘cozying up to minghao?’ an instant message from Jeonghan popped up.

    You rolled your eyes, closing out of the chat window to return to your work at hand. The lines of code stared at you as you picked up where you had left off.

‘are you free tonight?’ Jeonghan was persistent today.

‘this could be considered harassment’

    Your phone pinged shortly after.

‘sorry, i forgot about your paranoia’ the message from Jeonghan’s unsaved number read. ‘my question still stands’

    You mulled the question over for a long time. On the one hand, the sex really had been incredible, but on the other hand, you really couldn’t stand him. As you thought, a perfectly timed message popped up on your screen.

boo: ‘what do you think about a double date tonight?’ 

    You sent the declination to Jeonghan shortly before sending the affirmation to Seungkwan. Nodding to yourself, you tucked your phone away, determined to finish this section of code.

    Jeonghan’s jaw ticked as he read your response. While he didn’t think he’d had his hopes up, what he felt in his gut was surprisingly similar to disappointment. Clicking his tongue, he put out a few other half-hearted feelers before returning to his work as well.

…

“I’m not going to lie, I’m surprised you said yes to this!” Seungkwan chattered next to you on the subway.

“Oh, yeah,” you laughed, “Well, I’ve been thinking of dating again anyways and I happened to be free tonight!”

“Really?” Seungkwan’s shocked expression made you laugh. “I-, if I’d known you were serious I would’ve fixed you up with someone better!”

“Who is my half of the date?” you turned to Seungkwan, eye twitching menacingly.

“It’s not bad!” Seungkwan shouted defensively, “He’s just kind of boring! I figured you’d just come and get some free food.”

“Okay, okay, I can deal with boring,” you reassured your friend, “But next time set me up with someone exciting!” you teased.

    Halfway into dinner you began to wonder if you had cursed yourself. While Seungkwan’s date was more than personable and fun, you found that you and Juwon could hardly string together two sentences, let alone a conversation. While there was nothing specifically wrong with him, it seemed that the venn diagram of your interests just did not overlap one bit. By the time dinner drew to a close, you were more than ready to head home.

“It was nice to meet you!” you bowed politely to everyone. Seungkwan and Seyoon had decided to continue their night and so you took the subway back alone. As you fiddled through your phone, you noticed Jeonghan’s message from earlier. Against your better judgment, you found yourself wondering.

‘what are the chances you’re still available?’ you shoved aside your pride to send the message.

    Jeonghan’s eyebrows shot into his hairline as the banner notification appeared above his text exchange with Minju. Your timing couldn’t be worse.

‘non zero’

‘i see. well i’m on the subway that passes by your place, so if that chance improves within the next 7 minutes, do let me know.’

    Jeonghan scoffed. Four minutes passed before he texted you again. Three minutes after that you were leaving the subway car and headed towards his apartment building.

“Well, well, well,” he greeted you smugly as he opened the door for you, “Look what the cat dragged in.”

“Shut up,” you scowled before pulling him by his neckline into a fervent kiss.

“I thought you weren’t free,” Jeonghan couldn’t help but probe as he pulled your jacket off of your shoulders.

“I wasn’t,” you shrugged.

“But you’re here now?” Jeonghan almost smacked his own mouth. What was it about you that made his brain stop functioning properly?

“Would you really like to hear about my dull date?” you sighed, pulling back and fixing him with a stare, “Or would you rather fuck me until I cry?”

    Jeonghan blinked. He gave you a once over before his lips curled into an almost cruel smirk. You found yourself being dragged into his bedroom and pushed down onto your knees.

“Wait here,” he instructed before leaving.

    Your left eye twitched as you heard him fiddling around the kitchen, no doubt idly passing the time, making you wait. Unfortunately for you, Jeonghan now knew that making you wait turned you on just about as much as it made you mad. You tried to practice meditative breathing and ignore the fact that you were leaking.

    Jeonghan stood in the kitchen, running his tongue across the edge of his incisors. The waiting was as torturous for him as it was for you, but the prospect of the delayed gratification outweighed everything else. Tapping his fingertips against the countertop, he counted down the minutes until he would let himself back into the bedroom.

“You’re so pretty when you listen,” you heard his drawling voice eventually.

“Hn,” you murmured lightly.

    Jeonghan was surprised to see your eyes calmly closed when he faced you fully. You really did have a talent for being good when you wanted to be. He reached out a hand, stroking your hair down to your chin and sliding his thumb between your lips.

    Your eyes shot open, tongue wrapping around him, warm and wet. You took severe pleasure in the way that his adam’s apple bobbed.

“Can I be rough?” he asked.

“Yes,” you nodded, in fact you wanted him to be.

“Good,” he nodded before pressing your face against his erection, straining through the fabric of his shorts.

    Humming with pleasure, your lips sought him out, nipping gently along his length. His grip slackened and you made quick work of his pants, allowing him to jut out heavily at you. You moaned appreciatively before closing your lips around him.

“Fucking christ,” Jeonghan hissed, his lip curled up into a snarl as you worked his length. You’d think he’d never received head before, the way his brow was worked up in ecstasy. You swallowed down to his hilt before giggling around him. It was fun to see him suffer for a change.

“You minx,” Jeonghan growled, pulling you off of him, clinging to his last threads of sanity.

“Too much, Hannie?” you teased, wiping saliva off your chin.

“Cute,” he squinted, pulling you to your feet.

“Oop!” you exclaimed, falling into him.

“You okay!?” a look of concern flashed across his face as he caught you.

“My legs,” you chuckled, maneuvering to the bed, “They fell asleep!”

“Oh,” Jeonghan nodded, wondering if he had made you wait too long.

“Tingly,” you giggled, laying back for a stretch. Your toes stretched towards the ceiling and Jeonghan’s eyes widened as he was favored with an unobstructed view of your obviously damp panties.

“For me? You shouldn’t have,” he smirked, placing his index and middle finger against you.

“Maybe it was my date,” you laughed, enjoying the way his jaw tensed.

“Oh?” one eyebrow raised. “So why is it me who’s knuckle deep inside of you?”

“Jeonghan!” you gasped at the intrusion. His long fingers curled into you and your legs fell open, hips shifting up for more.

“So wet, listen to yourself,” he shook his head appreciatively.

    You flushed. You could hear yourself far too clearly.

“Please,” you mewled desperately, right hand seeking out his wrist.

“What is it?” he asked, pressing his thumb against your clit.

“Jeonghan, please!” you cried, head thrown back in desperation.

“Hm, no. I don’t think so,” he sniffed, hand stilling just before you crested the wave.

    A string of vivid curse words left your mouth as Jeonghan’s fingers followed suit. He blinked, impressed at your colorful vocabulary.

“If and when you cum, it’s going to be on my cock,” he decided aloud.

“If?!”

“When,” he corrected himself, but not before laughing. If you were a cartoon, you’d have a halo of flames drawn around your head. “Can you stand up?”

    You brought yourself toe to toe with Jeonghan. Your heart pounded in your ears as he tugged gently at the straps of your tank top.

“Got all pretty just for him to be a bore, huh?” he murmured softly, index finger wandering further and further down your neckline.

“Mhm,” you purred, “You’re not boring though,” you pursed your lips. It almost pained you to compliment him, but you knew the way you’d be rewarded if you stroked his ego.

“Hah!” he let out a laugh as he tugged lightly at your top, “Get out of this.”

    His hands turned you towards the bed and folded you forward. His fingers traced a line down your spine before gripping your hips tightly, lining himself up against you. You bounced on the balls of your feet, your wet folds nudging him impatiently.

“God, you are wet,” he groaned as he teased himself in and out of you.

“Yoon. Jeonghan. Please.” you begged through gritted teeth.

    His lips curled into a pleased smile and he pulled himself into you. He set a punishing pace, exactly what you needed, and fucked you headfirst into the mattress, interrupted only by the occasional dizzying spank. Your hands were fisted in his sheets when you came around him the first time, sudden and without warning.

    He didn’t stop, instead setting his jaw and working towards his own release. Your second orgasm roiled as he plowed into you, turning you inside out.

“I’m close,” he warned you. You nodded, clutching around him. His hips stuttered before he pulled out, emptying himself on the small of your back. “Fuck,” he breathed.

    You laid together for a few moments, collecting yourselves, before Jeonghan stood up to retrieve a washcloth. He cleaned you up so gently that you almost couldn’t believe he was the same person that you knew from work.

“Thanks?” you offered awkwardly as you pulled your shoes on.

“Thanks?” Jeonghan let out a true laugh, “No need to thank me. Next time just say yes the first time I ask,” he rolled his eyes at you. You pursed your lips at him before slipping out the door.

…

“I want to go home,” you repeated yourself to Minghao for what felt like the tenth time of the day.

“I’m aware,” he replied dryly.

“Why, why, why must we do this stupid ‘team building’ outing?” your griping fell upon deaf ears as the escape room facilitator signaled everyone for their attention.

“For the record, I need you to know that I voted against this,” Minghao spoke after the person had finished. “Like you, I am but a cog in the wheel.”

“I know, I just hate this,” you grumbled as the instructor divided everyone into teams. You frowned at Minghao as you left him for team number four. Your eyes sought out Daehwi, who stood holding four fingers above his head.

“YN!” he waved animatedly as you walked towards him. You smiled, relieved, as you walked towards him. You weren’t as close to Daehwi as you were to Minghao, but it was nice to at least have a friendly face on the team. Your mood soured severely, however, when you noticed Jeonghan and Jae walking towards you.

“Man, I’m so stoked to be on your team!” Jae gushed, “You’re so good at games!”

    You fought back an eye roll. Jae was a junior developer who had quite the work crush on Jeonghan. It would almost be cute if he wasn’t always so loud about it.

“Hey teammate,” Jeonghan greeted you cooly, stepping a few feet to your left.

“Hi Jae, good to see you,” you waved to the younger man as you stepped away from Jeonghan pointedly.

“Really?” Jeonghan raised an amused eyebrow at you.

“I don’t like being seen with you,” you lied.

    Jeonghan blinked rapidly, holding in his snide comment about how you’d seemed quite happy to be around him earlier this week. Before he could actually speak, a low energy teen arrived to walk the group through basic safety.

…

“Must you be so stubborn at work?” Jeonghan muttered as he dragged his teeth across your collarbone. You didn’t answer him, instead gasping at the sensation. Jeonghan had been pleasantly surprised at how little of a fight you had put up when he had invited you over this time.

“I don’t want people to know,” you answered after you’d recovered your presence of mind.

“I don’t think you have anything to worry about there,” he chuckled darkly, skimming his hands over the material of your leggings. “God, you drove me crazy all day in these.”

“Oh?” you smiled, pleased to hear that.

“All I wanted to do was drag you home and tear them off of you.”

“So do it,” you laughed, more than willing.

“Hmm, we have time tonight though,” Jeonghan smirked. He wanted to ruin you tonight.

“Hannie,” you groaned playfully, even though you already trusted that Jeonghan would make it well worth it.

“Be good for me, huh?” he raised an eyebrow at you, holding your face close. Your eyes fluttered before you nodded, swallowing loudly. He planted a disarmingly soft kiss on your nose before hauling you onto his bed.

    Prying your legs open, he settled in, hands around your waist as he nuzzled his cheek against your inner thigh. He nipped gently, the sensation somewhat dulled by the leggings as his hands reached up, pushing your shirt off of you. You helped shrug off your bra as well and he palmed your breasts, squeezing possessively.

“Aaah!” you let out a strangled moan as his lips found your clit and pressed firmly. “Hannie!” you gasped, hand threading through his hair as he massaged you. Grinning, he hummed against you, the slight vibration turning your mind into verified mush. “Jeong-han!” you babbled, thighs closing against his ears as you struggled to keep it together. Your breathing paused for a moment as you tensed, perched right on the edge of orgasm.

“Go ahead,” he mumbled against you and you let yourself cum, voice cracking as you did.

“Fuck,” you looked at him, breathless.

“C’mere,” he gestured after laying back against the headboard.

    Curious, you climbed atop him, straddling him. He guided your hips, dragging your now soaked center against the length of his shaft, teasing both him and yourself. Your eyes sparkled as you caught on and you ground yourself against him.

“You’re so hard,” you giggled. You enjoyed watching the small details of his face, his raised forehead vein, the slight scrunch of his nose, and the fluttering of his eyelids as you dragged yourself torturously against him. “Can I please have you inside of me?” you pouted.

“Soon,” he reassured you, hands back on your hips, pulling your clit flush against him, hard.

“Jeonghan!” you gasped at the direct pressure, gripping his wrists for support as he bucked up against you. Your eyes watered as you held back, waiting for his permission before you came against him, leaving a wet stain on his sweatpants.

“Now you can have me,” he decided, shrugging off his clothes as you did the same. You climbed back atop him, sliding down around him.

“Fuckkk,” you whimpered, brows knitting with pleasure as he bottomed out.

“YN,” he groaned, glaring at you with dilated pupils as you clenched playfully around him. “Tease,” he chided, but it was half-hearted at best.

“Yes,” you laughed before pushing up on your knees. You could honestly say you felt giddy at the way he hissed underneath you as you sheathed him again, arms looped around his neck for support.

“I-, I’m almost-,” Jeonghan bit out as you rolled your hips against him.

“You gonna cum for me, Hannie?” you teased, keeping up the pace despite the burning of your thighs.

“Yes,” he panted.

    Smiling mischievously, you leaned forward. “Be a good boy and cum for me,” you whispered. The effect was immediate. His eyes shot open and his hands tightened around your waist. His hips bucked against you as he came intensely.

“You liked that?” you smiled, catlike, at him after he had recovered.

“You will pay for that,” he threatened you half-heartedly. It wasn’t a no.

    You scrunched your nose at him before getting up to help clean up. Jeonghan furrowed his brows, it was unusual, but he didn’t stop you.

“What would you say if I proposed getting dinner?” Jeonghan hypothesized as he propped his head up with a pillow.

“I’d ask whether you needed to see a doctor.”

“Why? Is it so crazy to ask that?” He couldn't help but feel frustrated.

“Why would you want that? Things are fine as they are.”

“Are they?” he asked, eyes narrowed.

“Aren’t they?” you countered, your pulse pounding in your ears. “I gotta go,” you decided, sliding off the bed to look for your things. Jeonghan didn’t move, so at least you were spared your traditionally awkward goodbye at the door when you left.

…

“Alright, what is eating you?” Seungkwan finally asks after he catches you lost in thought a second time.

“Huh?”

“Minghao, what the hell is wrong with her?” Seungkwan decides to try another avenue.

“I think I know, but I don’t think I can tell you,” Minghao glances slowly at you.

“Let’s see what your working theory is,” you laughed tiredly.

“She’s been hooking up with her workplace rival. And I think she’s catching feelings.”

“What?!”

“You big stupid idiot!” Seungkwan almost yells, “What is a rival if not a crush that you’re mad about having?”

“What are you talking about?!” you yell back at your friend, drawing the attention of the few other patrons who are outside on the patio.

“And that’s why we don’t claim her in programming,” Jeonghan laughed sarcastically as he took a seat with Jae. You flushed, having completely forgotten that multiple coworkers had been invited to today’s happy hour.

“As to be expected from Tactician Yoon,” a new voice joined in, one you didn’t recognize.

“Ah, Hyemi, you made it!” Seungkwan smiled delightedly, gesturing her over. “Everyone, Hyemi just joined us in HR recently.”

    You smiled at her, having noticed her around the building recently.

“Tactician Yoon?” Jeonghan asked after introductions were made. “Why do you have a nickname for me when we haven’t even met?” he asked Hyemi with interest.

“Perhaps she just has good instincts,” you chimed in, “You couldn’t pay me to say something nice about him,” you chuckled.

“Oh, I just know that there are few quite as keen with office politics as Yoon Jeonghan,” she replied playfully. “You’re welcome to spend more time with me, if you’re interested in giving me a nickname as well.”

    Seungkwan’s eyes widened painfully with interest. To Hyemi’s credit, Jeonghan was at a loss for words, something that was rare to see. Sipping your beer a little faster, you tried to ignore the sinking feeling in your chest as you realized they were flirting.

“I’m gonna bounce,” you announced to Seungkwan and Minghao as you stood from the table. “Good luck, Hyemi,” you teased before taking your leave.

    By the time Jeonghan returned from the restroom, you were gone. He itched to know why you’d left, but couldn’t really ask anyone without blowing your cover. Pulling out his phone, he typed out a quick message. It was normal to at least check if you were okay, right?

“Jeonghan!” Hyemi waved at him. Jeonghan slipped his phone back into his pocket, but couldn’t help the small tug of guilt that accompanied the action.

[redacted]: ‘you okay?’

    You sighed loudly, disturbing all of the people waiting with you for the subway. If he could just leave you alone, that would be perfect.

yn: ‘i’m fine, just tired.’

[redacted]: ‘sure. hey you were great the other day, by the way’

yn: ‘??’

[redacted]: ‘in the escape room. you really took the lead on the puzzle activity. a lot of the junior developers have been saying they look up to you. i thought you should know’

yn: ‘ah, thanks. you too. you already know this, obviously, but hyemi is right. you’re very good at managing upwards. even if it makes me mad, it’s admirable’

[redacted]: ‘that actually means a lot coming from you’

    Jeonghan lifted his hand to his mouth to help hide the giant grin on his face. You had never complimented him outright before and he was surprised to find himself almost giddy over it. Looking up, he tried to reorient himself in the conversation before anyone else noticed.

“What do you think, Jeonghan? Ready to turn in? Or are you staying out with the kiddos?” Seungkwan asked, gesturing to Jae and Hyemi, who were looking towards a few of the interns, eager to keep the night going.

“I’m officially old,” Jeonghan laughed, “So I think I’m gonna have to turn in.”

“Want my number in case you change your mind?” Hyemi glanced hopefully towards him.

“Good thinking,” he smiled at her, offering up his phone. Seungkwan was practically throttling Minghao in excitement as he looked on. Minghao prayed that you’d come to your senses quickly.

…

[redacted]: ‘can i see you after work?’

    You fought back a smile as you reread Jeonghan’s text. The week had been stressful from a work perspective and all of the developers had been working a significant amount of overtime. You’d also be lying if you’d said that your newly realized jealousy hadn’t taken a toll on you either.

    By the time you got to Jeonghan’s apartment, you were almost running, excited to blow off some steam. You weren’t quite ready to admit that you were eager to see him too, but that was also true. Jeonghan had left the door unlocked for you, so you entered unceremoniously.

“Whoa!” Jeonghan laughed as you nearly bowled him over.

“Missed you,” you offered as an explanation, “Need you,” you muttered, not really thinking as you tugged impatiently at his shirt.

    Jeonghan’s eyes widened, but he was quickly distracted and backed you onto the living room couch. You sank down as it hit the back of your knees and Jeonghan kneeled down between your legs. You made quick work of your pants and he slid two fingers into you smoothly. The intrusion was welcome, but you could quickly tell that it wouldn’t be enough. Not this time at least.

“I need you to fuck me,” you looked up at him, eyes desperate, “Please, no teasing this time. I just need you.”

    He nodded, shifting to move, but you had one more request. You caught his wrist, flushing pink before you made your request.

“I don’t know why I want this, but…will you cum in me?”

“In you?” he had to confirm he had heard right.

“I can’t stop thinking about it, please,” you were embarrassed to admit.

“I can’t say I’ve never thought about it myself,” his lips curled up into a grin.

    You held on for dear life as he thrust into you urgently. Your noises mingled together as you came around him and he released his first load into you. Breathing deeply, his body slumped over you. You looked up at him with a smile, brushing a few stray hairs out of his field of vision.

“So needy for me,” he chuckled after recovering. You glanced away from him, slightly embarrassed at your own desperation.

“It’s been a long week,” you admitted.

“That is has,” he nodded, moving to pull out of you. “You want something to wear? I’m not done with you yet, but I am gonna need a second.”

“Sure,” you nodded, pulling on a t-shirt and pair of boxers shortly after.

“Do you think we’re ready to move into testing?” Jeonghan asked about the project as he passed you a glass of water.

“Yes, I think so,” you answered after a few gulps. You were surprised to find that your conversation moved smoothly and without argument for once. In truth, things had been much tamer with Jeonghan since your text exchange with him, which made it all the more frustrating to know that he would move on with Hyemi soon.

    Jeonghan studied you for a moment after realizing that your attention had wandered. Part of him almost regretted dressing you in his clothes because he simply liked it too much. The creampie, this conversation, it was a lot of new things in one night.

“What?” your eyes turned back on him after noticing his stare.

“What? You’re the one who stopped paying attention to what I was saying,” he complained, but it was playful.

“Sorry, I-, uh,” you stammered, not quite able to articulate your thoughts. Jeonghan raised an eyebrow at you. “You are…leaking out of me,” you finally confessed, blushing high in your cheeks. “And I don’t hate it,” you grinned.

    Jeonghan groaned before dragging you into his bedroom. He knew you always wanted to torture him, but this was even worse than usual. His mind raced as he sat you on the edge of the bed.

“I know you love being a brat, but even for you this is filthy,” he looked down at you sternly.

“You like it,” you teased.

“I do,” he nodded, sliding his hand along your inner thigh and collecting some of himself on his fingers. “So desperate for my cum,” he chuckled as you sucked his fingers into your mouth.

    You smiled, lips curling around him and Jeonghan felt his blood grow hot. He pulled his fingers from your mouth with a wet pop and landed a wet slap on your pussy. As he instructed, you undressed and waited for him. You watched as he rummaged around his drawer.

“Got something for you,” he grins before sliding a vibrator into you.

“OoooOoh!” your moan wavers as he turns it on.

“I want to see just how long it takes you to tap out,” he challenges you, glancing at the clock, “It’s eight seventeen.”

    Jeonghan controls the vibrator leisurely, ramping the speed up and down as he likes. You quickly find out that, unlike usual, you can cum as much as you like, but he won’t be turning it off until you tap out. It’s not long before he has you seeing stars and any concern you had about a noise complaint is pushed out of your head to make room for the overwhelming sensation of back to back orgasms.

“Hannie!” you finally gasp, “Stop!”

    Jeonghan complies, immediately shutting it off and pulling it out of you gently. He climbs over you, stroking your hair and peppering you with soft kisses.

“Incredible,” he smiles proudly at you and your heart hitches in your throat. He continues to murmur soft compliments into your hair as you collect yourself.

    Pushing aside the urge to fall asleep, you climb over Jeonghan, straddling him. You can’t explain it, but you want one more. You feel greedy tonight. Your hands cup his jaw as you lower yourself on him, slow and sensual. You’re slightly sore, but you are dead set on getting him to cum in you one more time.

“Fuck, YN,” he sighs, hands draped loosely at your hips. He smiles up at you genuinely and you almost still. He really was handsome.

“I need-, can I?” Jeonghan’s eyes squeeze shut, unable to complete his thought. Luckily, you don’t need him to.

“Yes,” you nod furiously, “Cum in me again.”

    Jeonghan lets out a strangled curse when he does. You squeeze, milking him as your forehead rests against his. You allow yourself to feel contentedly full for a few moments before rolling off of him.

“I should leave,” you eventually stammered, pulling back from Jeonghan’s arms. “I might be able to grab dinner if I leave now,” you thought aloud.

    Jeonghan nodded. He had run through probably a hundred versions of this moment in his mind, but still he felt frozen. He watched as you slipped on your shoes and bag and waved a small wave at him before slipping out the door. A moment later, inspiration struck.

“Oh!” you looked as the elevator doors opened back up. “Jeonghan?”

“I almost forgot, there’s been a weird guy hanging out in front of the complex. I’ll walk you to the station if he’s there,” he lied.

“Ah…thank you,” you smiled awkwardly at him.

“Oh! I’ve been thinking,” you turned to him after a few floors had passed.

    He looked at you, slightly surprised. Almost hopeful.

“If you, well-,” you stuttered, not quite sure how to phrase it. “When you pursue Hyemi, I think we should have a clean break. So maybe give me a couple weeks' notice.”

“Ah,” Jeonghan nodded, brow furrowing at the mention of her name. He had drafted more than a few texts to her this week, but ultimately deleted them all. She’d left the ball in his court and he felt frustrated that he was fumbling it without a real reason.

“I would hope even you, Tactician Yoon, would know that,” you teased, unable to bear the drawn out silence.

“When? Not if?” Jeonghan asked, glancing sideways at you.

“I didn’t think it was still a matter of if?” you asked, heart squeezing with hope.

“If…you want it to be.”

    Your heart hammered angrily as the elevator made it to the ground floor. The doors opened and then closed again. Turning to meet Jeonghan’s expectant gaze, you smile sheepishly and press the button back to his floor.

...

Thanks so much for reading! Part two is here if you’re so inclined. :)

#jeonghan smut #jeonghan fanfic #jeonghan x reader #seventeen smut #svt smut #kpop smut #seventeen fanfic #seventeen scenario #seventeen x reader #svt x reader #svt scenarios #svt fanfic #we get along infamously #seungkwansphd:writes

[4beomy]

not boyfriend material | c.yj

choosing to live with a complete stranger was...not the smartest thing you've chosen to do. but it's okay! it can't be too bad. well, except it is. it is bad. especially when an argument leads you to stupidly sleep with your roommate! ...is it possible to keep your relationship strictly on the basis of sexual pleasure?! you think it is, because frankly, your roommate isn't what you'd exactly consider ...boyfriend material. Release Date: DEC 19, 2022 [actual date, no changes]

genre:  fluff, comedy, angst, brief sfw smut, enemies to lovers (more dislike than hate..if that makes sense), friends with benefits, slow burn

teaser word count: 0.7k

fic word count:

taglist: open (send in asks or comment)

“Don’t you think that was a bit harsh?”, his voice was low and quiet, seeming like he wasn’t sure of what he was saying. But that only angered you even more. You turn after stopping in your tracks, facing him again. 

“Harsh? Harsh? How was that in any way harsh?”

With your firm tone, his hesitation dissipated. “They’re our guests! And it’s a fucking housewarming party. We were celebrating me moving then you had to go and ruin it—”

You scoff, a mocking, exaggerated smile appearing on your face. “Our guests? I ruined it? How about not being a conceited asshole and think about the people around you for just a second! I came from work exhausted to find the whole place wrecked and you think I’m harsh? I ruined your stupid excuse of a housewarming party? You should've told me first!”, for the second time, you resort to running a hand through your tangled hair, so incredibly pissed to the point frustrated, dried laughs were echoing the room.

He takes his phone out all of a sudden then faces it to you, “Show me where your contact number is on here.”

You can feel your jaw tick, “Wow—just wow. You’re shameless.” and he just scoffs, putting his phone back in his pocket. “See? How was I supposed to tell you if I don’t even have your number?” 

“We live together for fucksakes!”

“Have you ever initiated the fact that you wanted to talk to me? I don’t think we talked once living together for what—like two weeks?”, his eyebrows were furrowed, and now it seemed like he was the one wronged, not you.

“Can you just—can you just shut up?”, all you wanted was those pink, slightly, but perfectly glossy, plump lips to just close shut. Not one more word out of them and you think you’d possibly be the happiest person in the world.

“Oh? Is it because I’m winning right now?”, he taunts.

“God, I never knew someone could be so childish. Win? Win what?!”

He takes a step closer to you, tilting his head, his earrings dangling to the side, “The argument we’re having–”

“Are you not going to say sorry?”, your voice dropped octaves, him being closer making this more of a vulnerable situation.

With the way his lips curled up, shaking his head so subtly no one would notice if they weren’t as close as you were now, you could already predict when he moves his lips to say something, “Nop–” 

With a split second, your anger had already reached its all time peak, and you let everything in you go. Your hands harshly grabbed the sides of his face, crashing your lips onto him. Shut up. Just shut up.

There wasn’t even a second of hesitation on his end, he immediately reciprocated the kiss, melting at the way it was so angry.

But it didn’t last long because you pulled away the moment you realized what you were doing. Your hands were still on his face, your eyes wide looking at his now redder lips. He tries to lean in again but you already backed away from him, Yeonjun's confusion overtaking any memory of the fact that he was just arguing with you a few seconds ago.

“Fuck—fuck, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what–” You stop at seeing the expression on his face – it was so…’why the fuck did you stop’ ...if that even made sense. And your response was silence...well not...only silence. Your eyes were doing most of the talking, shamefully wandering to his lips again.

When he stepped closer, you tried backing up – but you couldn’t – you wouldn't. You were frozen. It was like you physically wanted to feel his lips on you again, like your brain was fighting with the control your heart irrationally had on your body.

A smirk appeared on his face like he just got the best idea ever. “I’m not going to say sorry” you furrow your eyebrows, confused. He continues, “Because you act like this is your place. I have every right to throw a party without your stupid ‘permission’. I pay to stay here too–” With every word, they became more like venom to you, with the way he'd get louder and all of a sudden, the subtle height difference becoming incomprehensibly large, and most importantly, what he was saying, what he was implying. You have no control of your own home.

Needless to say, any sort of apologetics drowned. You were back to square one, anger.

Your bag slipped from your shoulder, the drop on the floor echoing in the room.

Oh he was smart. 

You don’t know how you ended up being pressed against the outside walls of your room, eyes squeezed shut as his teeth harshly nibbled on your neck, your breathe hitching once too many times, but you don’t care. You’d guessed it was because of your irrational decision making skills but so what. So what if you gravely regret doing this as soon as you wake up tomorrow?

a/n: this fic is not smut centered because it was originally purely angsty fluff but then i thought it could fit? and i find writing a fwb relationship so fun...so!! a lot (all) of the smut leans more towards the suggestive side/vanilla but i did make sure to include lots of sexual tension if anyone finds this through the smut tags.. T-T a lot of this fic is under constant reconstruction and editing/changes being made, so i'm not even sure if this exact excerpt would make it through the final cut (which is stupid for me to do but i couldnt wait to post this draft anymore..T-T) also, this specific part isn't a representative of how the rest of the fic would go, most of it again, would be fluff, and stupid comedy (that i very much laugh at with no shame).

#txt fluff #txt x you #txt oneshots #txt angst #txt smut #yeonjun x you #yeonjun x y/n #yeonjun x reader #yeonjun angst #yeonjun fluff #yeonjun smut #yeonjun fanfic #yeonjun oneshot #beomgyu x reader #taehyun x reader #soobin x reader #beomgyu smut #soobin smut #yeonjun suggestive

[rollercoasterwords]

hi! thank you for the kind words, i'm happy you're enjoying the fic. but i also want to use this message as an opportunity to talk about something/set a boundary that i haven't really known how to discuss, and i've blocked out your name because even though i'm not angry or upset with you, i want to make sure i'm not sending any hate back your way. 

i know that this message is well-intentioned, and i know you likely think it's nothing but a compliment to ask me to write more--after all, you're only asking me to write more because you enjoy the story so much! shouldn't that be a nice thing for me to hear? 

and like. i think that's why this is difficult for me to talk about. i don't want to come across as ungrateful or overly sensitive or like i don't appreciate the compliments, because i do. but at the same time, hearing someone say, "please write more of this fic for me, i love your writing so much!" is still hearing someone say "please write more of this fic for me!" like. 300,000 words is incredibly long. most novels are between 70k-100k words. a 300k word book usually takes years to write--years, and hundreds of hours of labor. maybe you chose that number randomly, or you're exaggerating for emphasis; but no matter how nicely you're phrasing it or how facetious you're being, ultimately this sort of message still puts pressure on me to produce a massive amount of writing in a short period of time. and even if you meant it as a compliment, it doesn't feel nice to me. being pressured to churn out hundreds of thousands of words makes me feel as though i'm being seen as a content-creation machine for the entertainment of others, and i don't like that. writing is a labor of love for me, but it is still labor--hours of time and effort that i'm putting into these works which i share for free, with no expectations of anything in return except maybe a few kind words from those who feel like reaching out. when i get messages or comments like this pushing me to write more, to write faster, it makes me feel as though my time and labor are not respected at all; as if there's absolutely no consideration for the amount of effort it takes to write the stories. which, again, makes me feel like i'm being viewed as some sort of fic-writing machine that can just pump out hundreds of thousands of words on demand for others' entertainment.

and none of this is helped by the tongue-in-cheek comment about how you're "suffering" waiting for updates. again, i understand that this was well-intended and maybe even a playful exaggeration that's supposed to be complimentary. but there are ways to tell me you enjoy my writing and eagerly wait for updates without telling me how much you dislike waiting between chapters. posting once a week is already a difficult schedule for me to maintain, and it's entirely possible that i'll need to take another break in the future or skip a week or something. i've been very clear about the fact that my update schedule is subject to change since i started writing the fic; that's just part of reading a wip. but when i get messages or comments like these with people telling me how they don't like waiting for updates, or comments directly asking me to post more than once a week, or--back when i did take a break--comments begging me not to take a break, it all adds together and builds up and creates this pressure to write more, write faster, post the new ch now now now. if you were the only person making this type of comment, it probably wouldn't bother me and i'd just respond and go "thanks lol" and move on. but the problem is that you aren't the only one--since more people have started reading the fic, i've consistently been getting comments like these, where the backhanded pressure to write more or write faster is couched in compliments. it's just so hard to wait for updates because i love your writing so much! i just want you to write more and post now and write faster because i love your writing so much! i know it's all well-intended, but none of it makes me feel good. it just makes me feel a mounting pressure to produce produce produce.

i feel like there are so many conversations happening in this fandom about how we need to treat writers better, where people go "the fandom is so shitty" and everyone goes "yeah!" but no one ever thinks they're part of the problem. and i think it's because everyone thinks the problem is like...really blatantly rude and entitled messages. and like, i get those too--people telling me they don't like a certain characterization and asking me to rewrite the fic; people repeatedly demanding that i write a certain fic for them; people just outright shitting on things i've written because they don't like it and for some reason think i want to know that. but none of that is super common. what is super common is the steady stream of comments and messages like this one, where they are so well-intended and don't see anything wrong with what they're saying because they think they're giving me a compliment. but all these "compliments" build up and create this pressure that hangs over my head to be constantly producing and writing, which is ultimately what leads to burnout and also makes me feel like i'm not being seen as a person so much as a machine. 

so like. idk. i'm not gonna try to speak for every writer in the fandom; maybe there are people out there who do appreciate this kind of message, who feel like it motivates them to write. but for me, i want to make it clear: i really don't appreciate being asked to write more or write faster or to write a certain trope/ship/etc; i am not a waiter taking your order at a restaurant. writing fic is not a service i'm providing for you that you pay me for in comments or kudos or messages or any sort of attention, because i am not writing for that attention in the first place. so when it comes to interacting with me, i'd ask that you reevaluate the way you give compliments and think about what sort of pressure you're putting on me, regardless of how well-intentioned your message is. again, no hard feelings towards you--like i said, this message probably wouldn't even register as pressuring to me if not for the fact that i get so many little comments like it, all from equally well-intentioned people who think they're just giving a compliment, all of which builds up together. 

anyway. all that being said. to answer your question: the fic will likely be four parts, not three as i originally intended. it will probably end up somewhere between 100-200k words based on the fact that we're already at 80k and i've only just started part iii, but i am not going to put pressure on myself to write a certain amount of words or hit a certain length. i'm just going to write what i want to write when i want to write, and share it as i want to share it. i'm happy to have you along if you want to be here, but if the cliffhangers or waiting for updates becomes too unenjoyable for you then there's no pressure for you to stay, yknow? no hard feelings on my end either way :•)

#have been talking w a few friends abt this recently and just. felt like it was getting to a point where i need 2 set a boundary lol #like again don't want to come across as ungrateful bc i DO appreciate the kind words and i love talking abt my writing w people #but those kind words and conversation are not the reason i write in the first place. i write in the first place purely for the fun + joy #of writing a story that i want to read #so as much as i appreciate the compliments etc #people being nice to me about my writing does not then entitle those people to make requests or demands about the way i write #yknow? #feel like its hard to phrase this without sounding cunty lol but like. it is simply the truth #anyway. like i said no hard feelings towards the person who sent this message truly #i just picked this as an opportunity to respond to allll the comments + messages like it #might put a note at the end of the next ch or something bc this type of thing happens in the comments moreso than tumblr messages #which is part of why i usually just ignore and move on but. it builds up guys #and it's only been increasing so. feel like i need to be firm abt setting expectations etc #ask #wfrau #ranting and raving

[the-guilty-writer]

A List of Gill's Favorite Sibling Moments Between Hotch and RR (Part 1)

For those of you who love the dynamic between Hotch and Rossi-Reid as much as I do, here are sections that are my personal favorites of their sibling-like relationship. Some of them aren't even interactions, just very sibling things they do!

---

It's Proposals, Dads, and Halloween, Rossi-Reid!

Hotch telling Spencer not to tell RR that her dad is coming back to work:

Morgan responded, but you tuned out their banter, opening a file and getting to work. You’d only gotten through reading the first few sentences when Spencer said your name. “(Y/N), he’s here.”

“Who-” you looked up from your file just in time to see your dad walk through the bullpen behind Section Chief Strauss. He dropped a wink in your direction, but you were too stunned to reply. “Why is my dad here?” You looked around at your colleagues, your glance finally landing on your husband.

“He’s coming out of retirement,” he said, sitting down unbothered.

You snorted. “Spence, stop trying to scare me.”

“Rossi.” Morgan sat up in his chair. “It’s not a prank. Hotch sent us all a text last night.”

You turned to Emily with a questioning look. “Did you know?”

“I think the real question should be how did you not know?” Emily said.

You looked at your phone, seeing if you had missed the message, but nothing had been sent in the first place.

“Spence, did you get a message?” You turned to your husband.

“I-I did,” Spencer said. You could see the concern in his face.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Hotch told me not to.”

“I’m your wife! You’re supposed to tell me anyway!” You weren’t angry as much as you were annoyed.

---

Figuring Out The Family Buisness

Hotch not pairing RR and Rossi up in the field until he HAS to:

You’d known Hotch long enough to know that he was putting off pairing you with your dad- then again anyone who had heard the story about the Rossi family laser tag game would be. He saw the little ways your dad still treated you like a kid, and he probably always would. You were his daughter. So Hotch put it off until he had no choice.

Actually he put it off until Morgan pretty much forced him to.

And him reminding Rossi where RR got her attitude from:

Hotch walked up beside Rossi. “She gets it from you, you know.”

Rossi sighed. “Don’t remind me.”

Hotch and RR bringing up the office party of 1995:

“Aaron,” Rossi’s tone became exaggerated. “It’s a bar. They could get carried away.”

“What?” Hotch smirked. “Like you did that one time at the office party in 1995-”

“Oh-kay,” Rossi cut him off. “Let’s not talk about this anymore.”

And

You gave him a questioning look. “You know, I remember back in 1995 after an office party when you-”

Rossi held up his hand to stop you. “Let’s not bring that up.”

Then Spencer thinking they might have made it up as a joke:

“So,” he whispered. “The office party of 1995 is a true story? I thought you and Hotch were just making that up.”

You smiled sleepily. “Nope,” you whispered back. “No way we could make that up.”

---

Damaged

RR sending a risky text to Haley before the divorce:

You picked up your phone and scrolled through your contacts, looking for Haley’s number. You weren’t sure what you were going to do. You weren’t going to call her- she never picked up anymore. Every text you’d sent had gotten no reply. There wasn’t anyone there to tell you what to do… except for you.

Your dad would have scolded you for being too involved, Spencer would have just taken your phone and held it above his head so you couldn’t reach, and Hotch… Well, for the first time in a long time you didn’t know what Hotch would do. So you typed the message out and pressed send before putting your phone in your pocket and pushing the thought to the back of your mind.

And RR knowing Hotch well enough to tell he was signing the papers:

You looked up too- seeing that Hotch was in his office. Normally you would have gone to say hello and maybe tease him about having missed all the fun, but even from where you sat you could tell that he was far more distressed than normal. The papers he was holding weren’t just from a case. They were personal.

---

The First Week

Hotch and RR on her first day as an Agent at the BAU:

There, waiting for you by the glass doors, was a face that you’d been missing for a long time- one that had driven you to school, and cheered at your championship soccer game; one that picked you up from a party the first time you got wasted and had no one else to call. One that reminded you that the old Italian saying il sangue non e acqua simply wasn't true.

“(Y/N),” Aaron smiled at you, his arms open for a hug. You couldn’t help yourself- you threw yourself into his embrace, squeezing your arms around his shoulders. He hugged you back just as tight, if not tighter. “Or should I say Agent Rossi.”

“Gross,” you replied and pulled away, allowing yourself a few seconds to be the BAU’s resident teenage pest again. “Seriously, just call me (Y/N). But…” you smiled ominously. “I did hear you can’t be annoyed at me anymore for calling you Hotch anymore. Sounds like you’re actually rather fond of your nickname now.”

He chuckled and you knew that the both of you were remembering the first time you had shortened his last name, his insistence that you didn’t call him that and your determination to annoy him by continuously ignoring his request. “It’s more convenient,” he admitted. “Anyway, let me give you the tour.”

---

Where Did The Time Go?

RR, Hotch, and a rather inappropriate inside joke:

“Well,” Hotch said, walking into the room and tossing a file down onto the table. “We finally got the M.E. report.”

You abandoned Reid and his maps in favor of going over to the table to look at the new information. You had to wedge yourself around Morgan to get a look, but as soon as you saw it, you knew.

You didn’t even think twice about your words. “He’s got limp dick syndrome.”

Hotch choked on his coffee and began to snicker. You could see how hard it was for him to hold in his laughter as he brought a fist to his mouth in an effort to cover his smile. It was nice to see his serious demeanor crack. Even after all these years, you were still Rossi’s daughter who got distracted from her homework while watching (and pestering) young Special Agent Hotchner as he tried to piece together a profile.

“You-” he cut himself off and pressed his lips together before taking a deep breath to compose himself. Still, he couldn’t hide the smirk on his face. “Don’t say that in front of the local officers.”

“Okay, well then you can go tell Gideon.” You smirked as well. As he left the room to find the senior agent, Hotch still struggled to get his serious face back.

Hotch knowing he'd be tasked with waking up RR if he stayed on the jet:

“Someone get (Y/N) up,” Hotch said before exiting the jet. He knew full well that if he didn’t make a beeline down the stairs, he’d have to be the one to do it.

---

(Part 2)

#criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds #david rossi #rossi x daughter!reader #david rossi x daughter!reader #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #criminal minds x reader #criminal minds x y/n #criminal minds x platonic!reader #aaron hotchner x platonic!reader #the rossi reid #hotch and rossi reid

[kylesvariouslistsandstuff]

Stats Time! Europe Saves Disney in the '70s

The so-called "Dark Age" of animation, and especially Disney's, the entirety of the 1970s and a good part of the 1980s... The span of films made in the post-Walt years from THE ARISTOCATS (1970) all the way up until - depending on who you ask - THE BLACK CAULDRON (1985). Some extend it further, counting THE GREAT MOUSE DETECTIVE (1986) and OLIVER & COMPANY (1988) as part of this "Dark" age or "Bronze" age or whatever.

I feel like those labels are an oversimplification...

While the general consensus is that the films made at Walt Disney Productions' animation wing in Burbank after the completion of THE JUNGLE BOOK and before the release of THE LITTLE MERMAID are relative low points for the company or that those films are just not-that-great (which is all subjective, I know at least one or two folks who make a case for this age of Disney being an "underrated" one), this was **not** a period of box office failure. That's for sure. Every film except THE BLACK CAULDRON made its money back. It is presumed that the Frankenstein-job clipshow feature that was 1977's THE MANY ADVENTURES OF WINNIE THE POOH also did pretty well...

After all, if one of those 1970s movies were to lose money, then the animation unit could've circled the drain. Heck, BLACK CAULDRON's performance brought about discussions of shutting down Disney Animation. That's all it could've taken... One movie losing money, and that would be the end of that. Animation was often at the mercy of indifferent executives who saw it as something too costly and something that just had a hard time drawing in audiences.

Finding box office stats isn't easy for older Disney animated films, you usually come across exaggerated or inflated numbers of some kind. (For example, THE JUNGLE BOOK did not make $73m in North America in 1967/68. The total was closer to $13m. Maybe $73m was the number it adjusted to in like, the 1990s?) International numbers are even muddier, but sometimes, you do find some juicy helpful information..

More recently, I discovered just how much the European box office helped Disney's animated features soldier on during a transitional, rollercoaster period...

I have often pointed out on here that France and West Germany were where these films usually made bank, big time. THE ARISTOCATS, ROBIN HOOD, THE RESCUERS, and THE FOX AND THE HOUND were all massive there, Top 10 hits. I mean, given that THE ARISTOCATS is set in Paris and the French countryside, it being a blockbuster in France is a given. Despite some Americanization (Southern-accented dogs, the very late '60s-looking American hippie cat in Scat Cat's gang, etc.), a lot of which likely bypassed in the movie's French dub. But yeah, French moviegoers rewarded each of these movies nicely, as did Germans on the West side of the Iron Curtain. This all came off just how *huge*, like ginormous THE JUNGLE BOOK was in West Germany and how big it was in France...

Even THE BLACK CAULDRON did pretty great in France. THE RESCUERS outgrossed STAR WARS... STAR WARS... In France and West Germany, in the same release year... Wild, huh?

Meanwhile, these movies did not crack the Top 10 in America in their respective release years. THE JUNGLE BOOK would be the last Disney animated movie to make the Top 10 domestically, until BEAUTY AND THE BEAST... Some 24 years later.

The UK box office was also quite charitable. THE ARISOCATS and ROBIN HOOD did exceptionally there, THE RESCUERS did well too. Unusually, THE FOX AND THE HOUND did not break the UK top 20 in its release frame... Maybe that one was a little too American? Too gloomy? I couldn't tell you.

Speaking of the UK box office, that's where the homegrown WATERSHIP DOWN shined. It only did, as far as I know, fairly here in the states.

Don Bluth's THE SECRET OF NIMH was a minor success in France, ditto AN AMERICAN TAIL. According to some reports out there, Ralph Bakshi's HEY GOOD LOOKIN' did pretty well in Europe despite a nonexistent run in the U.S.

Fascinating... Other countries to the rescue, it seems.

[ghoulhusband]

i’m going to bed early (well not early but early for me) but before i do i was thinking about the 2000 cap entry fee to vegas and how much i love mods that make everything worth a very, very small amount of money. because the mojave economy being absolutely fucking wrecked is something that i don’t think gets touched on enough. sure, you as the player are making money hand over fist in the base game, but everyone else is so, so broke in all the small towns you visit along the way. good armor for a whole town is a 1000 cap investment according to chet, who’s pretty obviously exaggerating, but say he’s right?

that means the bighorner hides, the most valuable thing these people have (aside from water,) AFTER being processed into leather, which is an huge amount of labor hours, is worth 111 caps, if we use the 9 npcs in game.

but say you used a higher number, like how many people there probably would be in a really really small town. 45-60 people, let’s say. 22-17 caps per armor. and the credit check to get into vegas—not even to have a good time, to be able to afford everything, but just to get in—is 2000 caps. now sure, maybe the people in goodsprings have more caps saved away, but this is one of their main exports. they maybe have two or three times that much money lying around, if they’re lucky. if we can extrapolate that to the other towns (which are honestly probably worse off because most of them aren’t producing anything anywhere near as valuable as food, water and leather,) that means that in most of the mojave, the people actually doing the labor have between 17% and .09% of the money needed to get into vegas, depending on how big we inflate the number of people in each town.

so if no one has much money, then the towns are probably operating on the barter system, and then it’s 5 caps for x thing if you really have to pay. which is great for them in theory, i’m very pro bartering, but there’s a lot of resources in the area they’re clearly not benefitting from. where are they going? well, quite a lot of the ncr soldiers, even with the shitty caps to paper money conversion rate, have enough money to pass the credit check. they take their paycheck and they hit the strip. now maybe they get a special exemption, but i’m inclined to think they don’t, because that makes no sense. house is in it to make money, he wouldn’t make an exception for most of his customer base. so if the average soldier in the ncr saves their money, they’re making upwards of $5k per paycheck (ncr dollars are worth about 40% the face value of caps.)

that’s SO crunchy. like i’ve thought about this before because it’s a key part of the narrative, but i never sat down and did the math before. like if we use 2k caps as a sort of middle class line, just to do some real world comparison, let’s say that 2k caps savings makes you middle class, which is about consistent with real world usd figures, then you probably make about 60k caps per year (that’s the median middle class salary per person in the u.s. right now.) so all these people from the ncr are making $150k a year in ncr dollars.

if the ncr dollar ever became worth 100% of the face value of a cap, the average person in the ncr (who aren’t part of the prison labor system, or the other exploited classes in the imperial hub, which is a separate point,) are equal in wealth to upper middle class people from the u.s., today, by our scale. now, maybe that number is skewed because only the middle class ncr citizens can make it to new vegas. totally possible. that still means the foot soldiers of an occupying army are making an insane amount of money compared to their real world counterparts (in the u.s. enlisted soldiers make between $24k-43k.) while the average person from the mojave has between 17 and 333 dollars in the bank account. those are really specific numbers but you know what i mean. if you have under $1k in savings in the real world you’re in economic jeopardy. much less if you have $17. if we extrapolate yearly income from those numbers, the people with the largest amount of money saved (333 caps or thereabouts) are making 10,200 caps per year. which is below the severe poverty line in the real world. the person with $17 would be making about 566 caps per year. vs. 150k. the ncr is just destroying the fucking economy and house is so complicit in that. it’s such a killer detail that the amount of money that’s being extracted from the region is astronomically high compared to the living costs of every day people, and the only one who’s really seeing any of that money without tons of strings attached is house. who can’t fucking use any of it for anything beyond exerting more control over the region and finding the platinum chip. see: he spent 812,545 caps looking for it in one year alone.

#also really adds depth to how much money chet must be making. he’s gone to vegas twice and lost most of his money both times which means #he’s clearly one of the only traders who charges people from the ncr what everything should be worth #it makes me like him more like it’s such a small detail that’s so good. or trudy (who clearly has a ton of money she rarely uses) paying you #what is really an exorbitant amount of money to fix her radio because she feels bad for you and it’s worth it to her to get her radio fixed #some of my math might be nonsense here because i’m tired and i have dyscalculia but i’m generally pretty good with money math #idk that’s just such a good detail that this game mechanic can actually tell you the whole story of exploitation and resource extraction if #you do the math problem with the numbers they give you

[medievildead]

Cool Facts about GoW Hermes

I'm well aware that Hermes enjoyers are still alive or newly birthed and just as you all were I was very saddend by his abrupt death (lying) but good news is he's a sidecharacter in the novels. For those who don't own the novels or can't get your hands on them allow me to share with you every single tidbit about Hermes that the novels reveal

As one would assume he is so pompus and overly confident of himself. He's so proud of himself for no reason and he behaves like a spoiled rich kid

Secretly though (not really secretly) he's kind of a wussy. He's quick to egg someone on because he knows he's faster and can dodge crap and be a jerk, but if he were in a situation where his speed and cunning couldn't help him he'd end up getting his ass beat. But even after he'd still be a jerk about it

Most of his strength is in his thunder thighs (obviouly) and he loves his own body way too much. Like he's very proud of his body. He has no shame showing off his bare ass

The only person he's really afraid of is Zeus. He's cocky and mean to everyone except Zeus, who he calls Skyfather. He knows Zeus has the power to turn him to dust in seconds so he tries to behave around him. Tries

There are SO many instances where Zeus is horrible to Hermes and everyone else on Olympus frankly, but because Hermes is so devoted he just keeps trying to serve and earn Zeus' trust. Even after being banished to earth at one point because all Hermes did was tell the truth about Kratos being alive.

When Hermes is nervous or incredibly exiteable, the wings on his boots start flapping and he hovers. (:

When he gets really upset, he will throw a tantrum. And I'm not exaggerating or anything, he does throw a tantrum. Literally he starts stomping his feet and folding his arms like a toddler. and going WAAAAH WHY DOESNT THE WORLD REVOLVE AROUND MEEEEE like the spoiled adult brat he is

At one point he is referred to as "almost handsome" and its the funniest shit ever

He has hots for Athena. At least the reader assumes that with context. He tries to play it off as kidding constantly, but it happens so often that it just radiates the energy of a guy sending a creepy text and then saying "sorry wrong number" after getting rejected. Athena is chaste obviously so she keeps shutting Hermes down, but he is a persistent asshole.

Hermes considers Athena his bestie and even tells her so. She doesn't really feel the same way but she isn't a monster at this point in time so she does constantly try to help him because she feels pity for him when he's down. At one point Hermes begs for her help and looks at her like this 🥺 while tugging her arm and she's just like oh my god he is such a loser I can't leave him here

Despite being a god of so many social things, Hermes doesn't like people that much. He seeks temporary oasis in secluded places in order to be alone. Like the deserts of Egypt, which he claims to enjoy

He talks very highly of Perseus (i wonder why lol) and he was actually the one who sent Perseus to kill Kratos. Athena kind of made fun of Hermes after Perseus died. Was funny

#god of war #god of war 3 #gow #hermes gow #hermes

[yikes-strikes-again]

i guess i forgot that as a childhood valve enjoyer, i actually knew a lot about Half Life just by Gamer's Osmosis... you simply could not be a Aperture yuri understander and not also know their yaoi rival Black Mesa... you could not play gmod without being haunted by the ghost of hl2.exe in windows task manager... you could not play tf2 or l4d or source at all without experiencing bang bang bang hit bang tink bang hit hit bang ting bang bang because of Uncle Crowbar's influence... and do i even have to mention The Forbidden Number. lol. cant believe i literally played every valve game as a kid except the most famous ones (well, and counterstrike. (the boring tf2)). and even then... freeman's mind still happened to me. Fuckinggggggggg

but then at some point i DID have to play Portal 1, so i got it on the famed personality-altering Oranged Box at age 11. After I beat it I stared at the game select screen for a long time, and decided to fire up hl2 out of curiosity, though i didnt like not having played hl1 (Child brain needed to Enjoy Media in Order). I apparently experienced something before getting yaoi'd by manhacks, failing to shoot moving things with an xbox controller, and saying No for another nine years. But those weird people I met in that dirty building did go somewhere inside my head forever.

now i am 20 years old in the year 3 P.H. (Post-HLVRAI) and i'm forced to admit that everyone was right all along for memeing That Number because your gamer girlfriend in hl2 is just that epic, as is that based cop impersonator who has too many crowbars for a bachelor and can apparently die if you're incompetent enough. And don't even get me started on the scientists. Gigachads. What i'm trying to say is the memes were right and not exaggerated at all. I'm listening. I'm learning. The gamers were fucking right

#i had like four emotional breakthroughs in episode 2 and have now written my weight in fanon speculation #also black mesa was an awesome remake #cant wait to play the blue shift one #half life #i'm having reflective gamer thoughts this wednesday mornjng

[ludonarrativeconsonance]

A secret trait that can make or break cool characters, Ft. Across The Spider-Verse. An effortpost.

Intro

Until recently, I did not have strong opinion on Issa Rae’s Jessica Drew, since she was a side-character with barely any screentime - I youtubed “across the spiderverse but it's only jess” to get a number and people didn’t care about her enough to make that video.

Most of the discourse surrounding her was either racism/sexism (why the fuck are those people even watching spider-verse) or people wanting her to do the mommy who keeps the angry man in check cliché.

Personally, I liked how they averted that with a minor character well enough, so I didn’t bother engaging. Spider-verse does the cliché-baiting-aversion thing a lot, for example with Hobie and cheap love triangles, and it's great every time.

BUT, apparently the art book says that she was designed to be cool and they “knew she’d be a fan-favourite”. Now, “cool” is subjective, but “cool fan-favourite” is not and, even compared to someone who was barely in the most recent movie - Peni Parker - Jess is embarrassingly less popular.

And the thing is, a lot of the complaints I've seen about her coolness (which are not from racists) talk about stuff like how she's a minor side character, are pregnancy discourse, or are like "how is she expected to be cool when she's in the same movie as hobie".

I wrote a whole thing talking about all those things and more in tremendous detail, but it was way too long for a single text post - plus, it was very specifically about Jess rather than the concept of a cool character.

TL;DPost: Pavitr exists for like a very short amount of time sharing scenes with Hobie and he's still more popular than Jess except for resource-rich countries Sweden and Venezuela.

So, I thought that out the many traits that make a character cool (competence, agency, confidence...) I'd very specifically talk about the most overlooked one, which Jess lacks, and to avoid falling for sacrificial trash bait I’ll only use women or POC as examples (except when discussing two historical examples).

Luckily, Spiderverse itself provides us with plenty of examples, such as Gwen (Irish girl), Pavitr (Indian guy), and Hobie (British).

Transgressiveness

The concept of cool itself, in the modern day, is tied to things like punk subculture; to quote Robert Christgau,

Hippies were rainbow extremists; punks are romantics of black-and-white. Hippies forced warmth; punks cultivate cool.

Fundamentally, one of the if not the meaning of the word cool, is something that infringes rules, norms or expectations in a way that pleases us.

This is true for every medium:

Samus is cool because she’s a girl wearing power armor in an 80s game.

Hollow Knight’s Hornet (black female spider-person) is at her coolest when she saves the Knight from the Cast-Off shell and webslings away.

Millennium’s Lisbeth Salander is cool because she’s a psychologically tortured woman who lives on the edge of the law but never truly hurts those who don’t deserve it.

Since I write 1984 fanfic: Julia is cool because she habitually avoids the rules set by the Party, fully knowing that it’s not going to end well and choosing not to dwell on it.

Obviously, it’s even true outside of fiction: gender, as an adjective, is often used in progressive circles to mean “blurs gender lines in a visually appealing way”; and it’s actually true in real life, though I can probably not make any noncontroversial examples.

If you look at the movies themselves, Gwen primarily has a trans(heh)gressive aesthetic: her haircut was not yet overdone in 2018, she’s in a punk rock band, and she’s Gwen Stacy but alive.

Pavitr is transgressive because he’s Spider-man and his life isn’t shit yet, and he rubs that in your face with confidence (the exaggerated swagger of an Indian teen), while getting distracted with menial stuff and still keeping up with his responsibilities fine.

Note that this “kid who doesn’t really try and aces all their tests anyway” energy is important, because if he got distracted shipping Gwiles and actually lost track of the Spot, then that wouldn't be transgressive in a pleasing way, that’d be transgressive in a frustrating way - the "kid who slacks off on the group project" way.

Hobie, which is widely agreed upon to be the coolest character, has - obviously - punk aesthetics and his dramatic entrance breaking down an energy barrier with his anarchy-powers. His intro monologue is a break from norm - “I was bitten by a – wouldn’t you like to know?”, he’s british, and doesn’t believe in consistency. Or comedy, but that’s just a joke.

And most importantly, his actions are transgressive. Every step of the way, he sets Miles up to beat Miguel, or he’s working toward making sure Gwen still has a watch after she’s exiled from the spider-society. This also, incidentally, makes him likeable - which isn’t a necessary part of being cool, but sure as hell does help.

To bring up the historical examples I mentioned before: The Punisher breaks the rules in a way that appeals to his, uh, target audience. He kills dozens of people because that’s darker and edgier and I swear comic books are not for children mom.

Darth Vader is constantly abusing his officers and blowing up planets; until The Emperor shows up he’s generally the one setting the rules.

And no, Doomguy is not a character, he’s a player insert. I love killing demons as much as anyone, but don’t bullshit me with “oh but he’s cool”.

Generally, I think, we can put character actions on a political compass of “follows the rules vs makes their own rules” and “in a likeable vs unlikeable way”. “Makes their own rules in a likeable way” is the coolest quadrant, while “follows the rules in an unlikeable way” is the least cool.

By the way, this is why cool characters are often funny - comedy is built on the unexpected. A lot of Hobie’s lines aren’t laugh-out-loud funny, but they’re “Heh. That’s kinda funny” funny, such as “Hobie you’re not helping” “Good”.

Jessica Drew first intervenes not out of her own free will - like Gwen, Miguel, Pavitr, Hobie, Peter B., et cetera but because she’s called in. Her aesthetics are like… She looks like my aunt if she put on dumb fucking glasses.

She proceeds to do nothing except for ask if Miguel could pretty please let Gwen on board. Do note that she 100% defers the decision to the man. In every other interaction, she’s just sorta there, acting as a second-tier antagonist unquestionably following Miguel’s orders or conceding Gwen enough time to speedrun Super Mario Odissey.

This is even when she knows better - she knows Miles is much less dangerous than Spot, because she participated in a conversation where Gwen tried to brush him off as a villain of the week but didn’t fall for it.

This is terrible for coolness, because it's also stripping her of agency - forcing her to rely on confidence and competence that don't have much space to shine.

She is actively following bad norms, even though she knows them to be bad, and consistently opposing the main characters when doing so to obey the actually interesting antagonist, Miguel.

And yes, a lot of these criticisms can be levelled at Peter B - who could probably have done more to back up Gwen in the go-home-machine room, for instance - but Peter wasn’t specifically designed to be cool. Peter is written to be a dad who doesn’t want huge status quo shakeups, and that’s who he is.

If Jess had been designed specifically to be cool, and had been well-designed, she'd be transgressive or make up for her lack of transgressiveness somehow. But she wasn't designed to be cool, she was designed to explain Miguel taking Gwen in and the coolness was added on to make her a less obvious plot device.

That said, BWEE MOTORCYCLE WHEEL ON FACE

#spiderverse #spider punk #cool stuff #writing #spider woman #jess drew #spider man: across the spider verse

[kaxenart]

The Emperor had arrived at Paris on December 18, 1812, whilst I did not get there till February 5, 1813. The Emperor had every reason to dread the arrival in Paris of the witnesses of our disasters in Russia, for he knew that the relation of the sad details of our retreat would damp the ardour of those whom he relied on to aid him in raising fresh levies to be led against the enemy. I understood well enough the false position in which my return without leave had placed me, and I modestly kept aloof from court society, in spite of the many invitations I received, seeing no one but my father and my most intimate friends, whilst I tried to regain my health, and get my affairs into order. Still I felt that my case was an exceptional one, for I did not know another Frenchman who had in so short a time gone through such an immense number of perilous vicissitudes. When, therefore, I felt that the state of my finances would permit me to take the field once more, I wrote to the Duke of Feltre, Minister of War, in the following terms :

' Paris : February 17, 1813.

' My Lord, — The Emperor's goodness conferred on me, against my own desire, the honour of being chief of the staff to Marshal Davout, Prince of Eckmühl. I begged again and again to be replaced, and at Smolensk the Emperor gave his consent, naming General Charpentier as my successor, but he would not take up his post, and I continued to perform the duties without the pay of Chief of the Staff.

' His Majesty is not ignorant of the dangers to which I have been exposed during the last eighteen months. In Spain my horse was killed under me, having been struck by more than thirty balls, whilst I was taken prisoner stripped naked, and, without exaggeration, all but shot, all but hanged, and finally taken to England, whence I escaped miraculously from the hands of smugglers, who had intended to murder me, so that I was able to join the Russian campaign, in which I endured the torments of famine, was poisoned and frozen, and, for the second time in less than twenty months, completely ruined by the loss of all my baggage and horses.

' Finding myself without employment in the Grand Army, I left the Prince of Eckmühl at Kovno, and returned to Paris to collect the means for rejoining the army. I have achieved what I came for, and now have the honour of placing myself at the disposal of your Excellency, ready to continue to serve the Emperor and France with the same zeal as I have already done for twenty-five years. I have the honour to be, &c.'

The Duke of Feltre submitted my letter to the Emperor, but his Majesty was not in the least touched by the exceptional position in which I was placed. He merely observed, ' He owns his fault ; he shall pay for the others ; ' and when on February 19 I presented myself to pay my respects to the Duke, I was told he could not receive me. Returning home, I found the letter he had just written to me, which contained the very unexpected words : ' General, the Emperor orders you to give yourself up as a prisoner at the Abbaye.' There could be no reply to so gracious an order ! and the same day my good friend Colonel Bontemps went to see me placed under lock and key in a room where many men of much higher military rank than myself had been confined. My faithful friend even remained with me for the sixteen days my captivity lasted. Many ladies also called to see me, but I was very much mortified at the position in which I had been placed, and declined to allow any of them to stoop to enter my prison. In denying myself the pleasure of seeing them, I hoped to deprive the Emperor of some of the éclat he evidently hoped to gain by shutting me up, for if I had admitted them behind my bars, I should have been much talked of, many carriages would have driven up to the entrance to the Abbaye, and my name would have been in all the papers, which was just what I wanted to avoid.

The wikipedia article on Prison de l'Abbaye is extremely brief and I have no idea where it sits on the prison terrible-ness scale.

Though I assume it's not the worst if Colonel Bontemps hung around and many ladies can call to see him.

#louis francois lejeune #louis-francois lejeune #napoleon bonaparte #napoleonic #napoleonic era

[spikeinthepunch]

i dont mean to reminisce on DAI/DA in general so much rn as some kinda jab to bg3, just nostalgic and there arent many high fantasy rpg (or any rpgs) that have details branching relationships. i am super biased for Dorian but thats because his romance was SO good imo. and again, it was unique for not falling into the often bland 'everyone is bi just because'.

but rn after getting to the first major stage of Astarion's relationship i think i can also agree w those who are saying the romances seem less romance and more sex. and i love sex, i want to fuck these guys a lot, really. but its the fact *everyone* is like that. they ask on the end of act 1 if you want to fuck anyone, and everyone has the option to. and thats cool sometimes but lets be serious, its not realistic and it kinda takes weight off of some characters if they all wanna fuck with barely knowing you. you get next to no options to converse with them in detail through the first act. especially in Astarion's case, i didnt get anymore options until he bit me, and even that was not long before closing act 1. it is def harder to get higher approval with some characters just in act one. but even prior i somehow got Lae zel high enough she was eager to fuck just because i killed some people. and she was hardly in my party at all.

like okay, i have more acts, so im sure i will learn more about Astarion but its still the fact that the first relationship anything i could do was just led by asking for sex? regardless of my stance on sex (and i love it), i want variety. and variety can't just be their backstories, it has to be their stand on relationships, intimacy, sex, etc. if you game if going to take pride in its romances. remember DAI? remember all the stuff you could ask back at your base? questions about them that honestly had a decent amount of branches or at the very least there were a good number of topics? their impressions affecting options and story choices coming up quite often. you still had to get to know them but i felt like their approval was well paced and obvious.

not getting anything else to ask Astarion through almost all of act 1 except "what can you tell me about yourself" to which he says nothing was kinda lame. i can ask Shadowheart what she thinks of the current situation, etc... you can ask Gale a good amount about his condition. and my approval was neutral too. But even for them, there was very little you could get out of those choices anyways. and additionally with DAI not jumping right to sex, i liked how you could like... you could have small intimate interactions with them outside of the big scenes. and the pacing felt good, the story quests for them also coming in 'acts' with the overall story.

idk man, i just hope the romance storylines in bg3 pick up. i did see complaints coming from ppl before i started but i kinda wished they were exaggerated, but i care about writing and pacing so its kinda hitting me that its not wrong.

#also. astarion's first sex scene was so short compared to minthara #which i did and reloaded #i know you can be any gender w these guys but like.... come on man

[ra-tutubixi]

Twin Topils, or, The Little Ruler List that Could

To begin a long, gruelling series of posts, I find it fitting to provide some manner of context beforehand.

Tollan (Xikokotitlan) in general is a bit of a historical clusterfuck, its history plagued with hundreds of years of accumulated exaggeration and further hundreds of interpreted and reinterpreted, lost and word-of-mouth'd sources. So as with many things, the truth is that no history will be truly complete, not with the materials we have today, probably never.

But one can, with a little scrawling madly at 12am, a good pen and a blank page, get closer to something old and forgotten: who the hell ruled Tollan before its demise.

Our journey begins with a long account of the years as perceived in Kwawtitlan. So the text is called, uh, Annals of Kwawtitlan.

It presents us with appearances of various rulers of various places, walking through time at a pace of its Xiwpoalli years, occasionally calling back to older events, occasionally retelling poems and prose stanzas of things said to have happened.

Walking back and making note of names, we arrive at the following list for the rulers of Tollan:

It should be noted that this is indeed a wiki table, albeit with an odd offset of 52 years from the original. This is intentional, I'd gone and did the walk back sometime ago but never bothered to reflect it on the wiki page, simply noted it in a final parenthesis to its introductory line.

Whichever the case, making a list of just this one source would be... irresponsible at best. There are other sources, the most popular of which are Ixtlilxochitl's various lists, five texts he wrote over the course of his life. These are all differently-dated, but they serve us well in most cases:

Ixtlil lists entirely different names except for one, Wetsin, though his dates are rather more distant into the past, getting somewhat closer as he writes more and (presumably) gathers and moves around now-lost sources.

What's notable about his lists is that the first one, within the Historia de la Nación Chichimeca, ends with a certain Topiltsin that's preceded by an Istakkaltsin. As time goes on, he adds changes a few names: Tlakomiwa to Mitl, Istakkaltzin to Tekpankaltsin, Xiwsaltsin to Xiwtlaltsin, and adds an Ix- to the beginning of Tlilkuechawak. He also seems to have discovered a new ruler, Mekonetsin, who he initially thought to have been another name for Topiltzin. He was instead his son, whose mother was a certain Xochitl, who we suggest had participated in the civil war of their time and deposed Topiltsin, whereafter she ruled for an unspecified number of years, then their son after her passing. This table doesn't include her for some reason.

Notes and parallels abound, but for now we will turn to Chimalpain's rather short list of rulers: Wemak (993-1029) and Akxitl Topiltsin Ketsalkoatl (1029-1051). He merely lists, it appears, those closest to the people he wrote this about, in a certain Brief memory of the founding of the city of Colhuacan. Chimalpain had made a few mistakes elsewhere, apparently shifting a few rulers to the period of the one who preceded them. Thus, tentatively, his list would need to be re-evaluated as pertaining to a few years later, at least 22.

Most other lists are rather close to the two first ones, but there is one with a curious divergence. The Anónimo Mexicano lists the first five all the same (Chalchiwtlanetl, Ixtlilkwechawak, Wetsin, Totepew and Nakaxok, who here is mangled as Nakaskayotl), but it jumps straight to Mitl, entirely skipping Istakkaltsin and Mekonetl. After Mitl, the regular order seems to come back with Xiwtsalli, but then we learn she ruled for only four years, after which a regency council was installed. We are not told for how long did such a situation exist, but we are informed that a certain Tekpankaltsin ruled after its dissolution, and that he was the very last monarch of the city.

There is little more that we can use for our reconstructions, but three more sources are pivotal in orienting us. Torquemada, in his Monarquía Indiana, presents to us the knowledge that Tekpankaltsin also bore the name "Topiltsin," while the Annals of Kwawtinchan (by another name, the Historia Tolteca-Chichimeca) inform us that the last ruler of Tollan was Wemak, he whose iron fist caused instability and who became subject of the second coup in the city's history, and that a certain Wewetsin lineage of Nonoalka-chichimekah had a quarter of the city after being one of a few primary chichimeka groups to move to the area. Finally, the Codex Xolotl provides note that Tollan had been completely abandoned by 1175, a date generally supported by archaeological findings at the city reported by Healan et al.

It would appear that some common sources were used here.

Firstly, the most primordial one. Both the AnaKwaw and Ixtlilxochitl's final list have 9 rulers, a few of which appear to be variant readings of certain glyphs: Mitl ("arrow") may be an abbreviated glyphic form of Tlakomiwa (meaning "possessor of wooden arrows"), which in turn is Mixkoatl's signature representation:

We could go on about the apparent snake around his right elbow resembling the convention for drawing masakoah, horned snakes, but this information is not entirely useful for us beyond "neat, might be whence the masatsin came from." Also disclaimer bc ik this is actually from somewhere in the Puebla-Tlaxcala area: he hath the same traits in the Telleriano-Remensis. I just like this one a little more :)

Anyway, another name with a variant may be Xochitl, being merely "Xochitl" in Ixtlilxochitl (heh heh) and "Matlakxochitl" (10-flower, a calendarical name) in the AnaKwaw, where she directly succeeds Se Akatl.

Akxitl, meanwhile, may be a conjunct case of mangling, abbreviation and variant readings: it may very well be reconstructed as Ak[atl]-xitl, but the latter part is seldom used in names Just Like That. Instead, that may be a slight mangling of xiwitl, a word whose glyphic form is a turquoise circle, but which can be quite easily confused with the turquoise dots that make a number count when alone. Thus, a single blue dot and a reed may very well be read as Akaxiwitl, but also as Ce Akatl. (Note: i didn't come up with all of this — the Se Akatl : Aka[tl]-xiwitl theory was proposed by a fellow scholar who goes by Jan online. Thx @261jan)

It may not have been a single ancestral source, but at least two or perhaps three (one went to AnaKwaw author(s), one to Anón. and Ixtlil, while Chimal may have an additional one that Ixtlil also consulted later on) that were involved, co-temporally produced and recording events that were basically the same, but with slightly differing glyph usage and timing.

It's easy to deduce a closer connection between Ixtlilxochitl, Chimalpain and the Anónimo, although then we'd need to take a closer look at who consulted who here.

The only one who tells us who he read outright is Chimal. Most of his' are primarily Chalko and particularly Amakemekan and Tenanko (such as the [seemingly] Título Primordial written by Rodrigo de Rosas Xohecatzin, his father-in-law), but there are a few that come to mind as likely candidates: his two "small and veritable books" — which, by the sound of them and the apparent lack of focus on lineage or years, may have been historical-cartographical works resembling the Xolotl and Huamantla codexes —, and two glossed genealogies. He had two more written sources, a Xiuhtlapohualamoxtli (an annal) with an apparent exclusive focus on Amakemekan, and the aforementioned Título dealing with the innards and local delimitations of the same place. Additionally, we have word of two oral testimonies he solicited, one on the provenance of a genealogy and the other on the lineage of a Chalka noble.

It is quite possible he first got the names from such genealogies, particularly those concerning Kolwakan, while the dates he may have confirmed with the Xiwtlapowalamoxtli. We know this because his dates for certain rulers in all his other lists prior to a certain point in time, notably those from Kolwakan, seem to occasionally backslide into what other sources suggest are instead the periods of their predecessor; Tollan, seemingly, also has this quirk within Chimal's writings.

The Xiwtlapowalamoxtli, then, is our likely culprit. This work was congealed from various sources, and indeed may have utilized a source that Ixtlil later got his hands on, or which his sources in turn did.

The Anónimo and Ixtlil are rather analogous rather clearly; geographically, the former appears to have been produced in the general area of Tlaxcala, which overlapped and bordered in a few places with Akolwakan, the realm where Ixtlil lived and whence he harvested his sources.

Unifying all this info, at last, we may begin to reconstruct a list of who the hell did rule Tollan, although approximate.

The Six Kings of Legend

Chalchiwtlanetl, 511-562

Ixtlilkwechawak, 562-614

Wewetl, Lineage-maker; 614-666

Ilwitimal, Totepew ("our lord"); 666-718

Nakaxok, 718-770

Divided City, 770-826

Mixkoamasatl/Tlakomiwa, First Theocrat; 826-874

Theocracy, the Heavenly Monarchs

8. Se Akatl ("Akxitl") Ketsalkoatl, 874-880 9. Matlakxochitl, 880-ca. 927 10. Mekonetl, ca. 927-983 11. Xiwtlalli, 983-987

Instability, Lieges of Rubble

12. First Regent Council, 987-1000 13. Second Regent Council, 1000-1029 14. Wemak, Stone King; 1029-ca. 1070s? 15. Third Regent Council? ca. 1070s-ca. 1100s 16. The Last Prince, 1100s-ca. 1150? 17. Second Divided City? ca. 1150-1172

Of course, the first 7 periods are 52-years long or about. They are symbolic periods, and are mostly meant symbolically. Though evidence for a Tollan at all can be glimpsed as early as the Late Formative/Preclassic, it becomes larger and more relevant when the mid-500s roll up, which is right around our starting date here. Within these symbolic periods, the Divided City is of particular note, as it most likely represents a period of both great change, instability and parallel power between its components, being more of a "confederation" than a proper "unified polity," though this was in a rather small area of course. Wewetsin may have been a sort of unified, mythicized leader of the Nawa migrants pouring in from the west and into the Mezquital, where some would stay in, indeed, a quarter of the city, while others would walk on and take ideas with them from the nascent trading and cultural centre south, eventually contributing to a sort of "International Style" for Epiclassic Mesoamerica — they themselves would introduce a few things where they went, including most possibly the chacmool altars, as they appear quite earlier in Chalchihuites than anywhere else, albeit in a rather indecorous form. Ilwitimal meanwhile may have begun the construction of Tula Grande, while the period of instability under Nakaxok and the Divided City may have unfluenced the shift from Tula Chico, while TG was mostly finished in its first phase by Mixkoamasatsin, the first lord of the "renewed" Tollan in its totality.

After his rule, it appears all rulers adopted the title of Tekpankaltsin, "who dwells in the palace," while specific provenances (such as Se Akatl's training and ordainment at the temple of Ketsalkoatl, associated with the wind and everything inked white) may have also been used as the basis for titles, such as Se Akatl's alternate name, Istakkaltsin ("dweller of the white house").

Either within his period or upon the ascension of Mekonetl, Tollan's rulers began styling themselves as Topiltzin, "our honoured prince;" all these titles may have induced some confusion and mix-ups in authors with only fractional context, who perhaps read mentions of certain names in specific periods and, instead of noting them as different names for the same people, may have both separated and unified certain rulers as they believed truest — Mekonetl as the first and the Forgotten King as the last Princes, then these both and Wemak and Se Akatl as Palace-Dwellers.

Se Akatl Istakkaltsin, for his part, may have been overambitious in attempting to quickly deal with the difficulties caused by his father's movement of the city and just generally bad times; if his story is to be read in the flourish of songs and poetry, he may have turned to alcohol and other pleasures, neglecting the military and economic needs of a city in the middle of a region-wide sociopolitical transition.

Notable are the inclusions of both Matlakxochitl and Xiwtlalli in most sources, as Nawa sources post-Etetl expansion tend to omit such notable figures on the basis of their own systems, even within their own lineages — Atotostli and Ilankweitl are paramount examples of quite notable but often-erased queens. Matlakxochitl for her part was quite the political manoeuvrer: while Se Akatl's position was crumbling by the minute, Xochitl involved herself in the plots to bring him down, managing to instead replace him and rule for an unknown amount of years, reducing unrest and paving the way for some short stability that seems to have earned Tollan its reputation as a centre of culture and prosperity towards its later years. Xiwtlalli did step down for reasons that remain uncertain, and not much is known about her rule. Perhaps, if we choose to interpret her name in specific ways, she brought great wealth and prosperity to hr land as well, if for a short time.

In her place then sat a Regent Council, better organized than the one which preceded Wemak and with slightly more input from each unit of the city, probably named something-coatl after Mixkoamasatl, paralleling the founding of a new order of sorts.

Wemak, Xiwtlalli's son, had to wait a long time for his crown. Perhaps here he developed a propensity for throwing tantrums and being greedy, attempting to eat the world all for himself. This, it appears, made more than a few quite angry, and thus he was ousted. Many left the city for good, and in many places he's thus called the final king of the place. And the Regency resumed. The Last Prince, unnamed and basically unknown, knew he had it hard. He may have come from the same context as Se Akatl, or perhaps this too is merging from old sources. He too eventually fell to the city's problems, divided between those who had stayed since the beginning and those who found it relatively easy to leave their residence once more. So the city crumbled into a deep, factional state, and he simply left after realizing he had basically no power to do anything for it. He left, perhaps sea-wards, perhaps to the Royal Family's old allies in Kolwakan, and perhaps he vowed to return. In his wake, all who remained would leave as well, sooner or later.

Some say he went to Cholollan and got himself into politics there. Cholollan, however, rather outspokenly despised Tollan, for both rose immensely in power after Teotiwakan's demise. Trade was strictly forbidden between the two centres and their dependencies, so it passed through a market kingdom in Anawak Metstliapan, on the coast of the Valley of the Five Lakes. This was Cerro Portezuelo, a site a little to the south of Tetskoko, possibly the Otumba Chimalpain mentions as one of the three regional hegemons of Tollan's age.

And with that, we can wrap this up at last, and prepare for the shitfest to come when we touch on such figures as Maarten and Mautner, and understand the mytho-historical relevance of this place. All in good time, all in good time.

Sources:

José Rubén Romero Galván (1977): Las fuentes de las diferentes historias originales del Chimalpahin

Dan M. Healan, Robert H. Cobean, & Robert T. Bowsher (2021): Revised Chronology and Settlement History of Tula and the Tula Region

Keith Jordan (2016): From Tula Chico to Chichén Itzá: Implications of the Epiclassic Sculpture of Tula for the Nature and Timing of Tula-Chichén Contact

Hanns J. Prem (1999): Los reyes de Tollan y Colhuacan

Alonso Bejarano & Pedro de San Buenaventura (n.d) via Primo Feliciano Velázquez (1992): Anales de Cuauhtitlan

Domingo Francisco de San Antón Muñón Chimalpahin Quauhtlehuanitzin (ca. 1631) via Víctor M. Castillo F. (1991): Memorial breve acerca de la fundación de la ciudad de Culhuacan

Unknown (n.d) via Richley H. Crapo & Bonnie Glass-Coffin (2005): Anónimo Mexicano

— via Paul Kirchoff, Lina Odena Güemes & Luis Reyes García (1976): Historia Tolteca-Chichimeca

— (ca. 1450s?): "Codex Xolotl"

Juan de Torquemada (1615): Monarquía Indiana, book I, chapter XIV

#the tula series (tm) #middle classic #epiclassic #middle postclassic #effortpost outtakes #it'd be a whole effortpost if it wasn't just 5 pages but whatever #ಠ_ಠ #< tfw using ixtlil *and* torquemada

[helenadurazzo]

Helena’s Fifiteth

For those who don’t know, Helena’s canonical birthday was on February 23rd 1973, making today her fiftieth irl. In honor of this, I decided to demonstrate what Helena’s life is like in the present

Also I am still debating a name for Vincent’s wife who appears in this story, I am open to suggestions and will edit the story once a name is decided

Erika -> 51-52

Helena -> 49-50

Vincent -> 24-25

Zara -> 22-23

Cato and Brian belong to @catohphm

As spring would be approaching in the next month, Helena knew her number of clients would once again, quickly increase as it did every other year. She had a couple of plants that either bloomed year round or bloomed solely in the winter, but for the most part, the coldest season tended to be the slowest for Helena and her motivation as well.

“You’ve been out here longer than usual for a winter’s day.” A familiar voice commented with a chuckle, “Happy Birthday, love.”

Helena turned around and smiled at her wife and welcomed her with an embrace and a gentle, yet loving, kiss. “I didn’t think you’d be back this quick, Eri.” Helena mentioned in a surprised but delighted tone. “You acted like that emergency at work was going to take you all day to handle.”

“It was just an exaggeration, I figured you would have guessed that by now.” Erika admitted. “I was a member of the Harpies before I became their manager, I’ve learned how to solve most problems pretty easily overtime. Plus leaving at the break of dawn certainly helped.”

She supposed Erika had a point since it was nearly noon now. “Well, your team is certainly having an excellent season.”

“Glad to know you are still rooting for us.”

“Your team still has many quidditch teams to beat before you can confidently claim victory.” Helena reminded her, “Including the Tornadoes.”

Helena watched as Erika only laughed at this, “The Tornadoes are only doing good this year because they are using Vincent to their advantage, after all, he certainly learned from the best.”

Helena chuckled “Whatever you say love.”

“That reminds me, I ran into Penny when I arrived.” Erika revealed. “She was saying something about how she was head to pick up an order of some ingredient she needed for her potions, can’t remember what it was on the top of my head so I figured I would ask you before I gave her the wrong thing.”

“I completely forgot!” She exclaimed as she pulled her wand out of her pocket and summoned a jar, “Luckily it’s a pretty easy fix.” She informed confidently Erika as she kneeled down in front of some icy blue flowers, gently using a spell to remove the petals and place them within the jar.

“What did she want?” Erika asked curiously, seemingly struggling to identify the flower petals her wife was gathering.

“These are permafrostine petals.” Helena explained, not taking her eyes off of her diligent work. “They are used in many advanced potions however they must be picked carefully. If even one of these petals would happen to touch a human’s skin, it would cause a severe case of frostbite.”

“How delightful.” Erika sarcastically commented. “Are you sure these petals are used in potions and not deadly poisons instead?”

Helena chuckled at her wife’s statement, “You’d be surprised by how many ingredients that go into potions can be considered poison if they are just by themselves. However, in combination with the accurate number of other non-poisonous ingredients, the elements of poison will cancel out, I don’t know much about the appropriate ratios.” Helena admitted, “that’s Penny’s expertise.”

Helena had learned from her mother to not advertise products that bloomed in such a limited timeframe. As her mother would say, there would always be one person rushing in with a desperate need for a material that so many other herbologists would have already sold out of. If Helena had waited even a week more to harvest the petals of these last few permafrostine flowers, they would have shriveled up and deemed useless. However, she did make an exception for a few of her clients such as Penny, although the two weren’t close as kids, she certainly always had a friendly relationship with her husband, as the two had known each other since they were young.

“There.” Helena confidently announced, mainly to herself, as she stood back up, securely holding the jar with careful hands. The glass was freezing yet not to a dangerous level and was simply that way due to the material within it. “That should be enough to last her for many months, if not the rest of the year.”

“Let’s head back to the house then.” Erika suggested, “We shouldn’t keep Mrs. Reese waiting forever.”

“You do have a point there.” Helena lightly chuckled as she linked her arm with Erika’s, looking into her eyes, and the two walked back side by side.

Helena smiled at the large, yet comforting cottage that she and Erika moved into a couple of years after Helena herself graduated from Hogwarts and the two decided to move to the next level in their relationship. It was also the home where they raised their two children in, although they had both since left to start lives and careers of their own, they were in their twenties after all. However, Helena made sure to always keep their rooms ready for whenever they decided to visit, although it became more sparse.

Her son was often traveling around from arena to arena ever since he officially became one of the three main chasers for the Tutshill Tornadoes, with his wife, traveling alongside him, eagerly attending all of his matches. Meanwhile, her daughter traveled, representing the ministry of magic to the governments of other countries, gaining recognition as an ambassador. She was immensely proud of both of them, however she did wish for them to be closer to home, even though she knew their traveling was part of the reason why they were successful.

Erika led the way into the house, Helena spotted Penny right away with her unmistakable golden blonde hair in a French braid, however she was pleasantly surprised when she saw her husband with her. “You didn’t tell me Cato was here.” Helena commented to Erika.

She listened as her wife chuckled mischievously, “I figured it was obvious.”

“Me and Penny got you a little something for your birthday.” Cato happily informed as he handed her a small, box that looked like it was carefully wrapped however Helena could tell by the appearance it was simply an illusion, something she enjoyed as she hated seeing wrapping paper all over the floor whenever her kids were young and opening up presents as much as she hated wrapping them.

“You shouldn’t have.” Helena smiled thankfully as she took the lid off and carefully pulled out what the box contained. Inside was a hand painted figurine of a flower, “It’s beautiful.”

“Glad you like it.” Cato replied with a smile before turning to Erika, “How have the Harpies been?”

“Good.” Erika replied with a smile, “the ladies are in a great position to win this season, although so are the Tornadoes who we face soon.”

As if on cue, the sound of travel by floo powder came from the nearby fireplace. Helena turned to see her son, dressed in a casual outfit and a light blue jacket, matching the Tutshill Tornadoes’ signature color. His hair was as curly as it was when he was a kid and his green eyes shone just as brightly. His wife appeared with the help of floo powder not to long after him.

“I thought you were going to be busy with quidditch practice!” Helena exclaimed as she embraced him, “It’s so good to see you!” She added once she took a few steps back following the embrace.

“I could not miss your birthday.” He assured her with a warm smile, before leaning over and whispering in her ear mischievously, “I’d say you were the best mother in the world, but I wouldn’t want to make mum jealous.” A statement which, Helena could not help but chuckle at in response.

“So the Tornadoes and playing the Harpies soon?” Cato asked Vincent as Helena exchanged a few words of greeting with her daughter in law.

“That’s right!” He cheerfully confirmed before turning to Erika, “I will make sure me and my teammates go easy on your ladies.”

“Trust me Vin.” She playfully replied, messing up his hair with her hand as if he was a kid, “I should be telling my ladies to go easy on your team.”

“Good to see you again Vincent.” Brian greeted him with a pat on the shoulder, “Good to hear you have been doing well, how is your sister?”

“Busy as always I am sure.” Vincent informed him, “As you can see, I am my mothers favorite as Zara did not make time out of her extensive itinerary to come make even a brief visit.”

“I’d hold my tongue if I were you.” Helena noticed Brian say as he motioned to something going on behind both her and Vincent.

Helena turned and to her surprise, there stood three familiar faces, her daughter was in front and in center while her parents were a few steps behind. Helena assumed they had to have Apparates in, with her mother assisting her father. Zara quickly came to embrace Helena, looking as beautiful as ever with her curly dirty blonde locks and green eyes that matched her brother’s. She then walked over to Vincent.

“Are you still sure you are the favorite now?” She smirked at him.

“H-How?” Vincent stuttered as Brian chuckled at his loss of words.

“Just a little planning on my part with our grandparents helping me out when it came to finding out the time and place of the festivities.” She informed him and playfully threatened, “Do not underestimate me again.”

“Alright alright you win.” Vincent gave in before giving a glance at his wife who gave a nod in response to their seemingly silent conversation, then he turned back to look at his sister, “or, at least that is what you think my dearest sister.”

“Vincent and I just found out we our expecting our first child.” She revealed, as Vincent put a comforting arm around her.

“That’s wonderful news!” Helena exclaimed happily.

“I figured so.” Vincent replied before smirking at his sister, “Especially since Zara is not anywhere near close to even considering starting a family of her own.” He teased

“Whatever, I’ll just be cool aunt Zara.” She informed him with a smile showing that she had not lost their rivalry yet.

“Define Cool.” He asked her.

As Helena watched her two children continue to banter as if they were young and not adults with their own careers, she looked over at Erika, Penny, and Cato, the last of which was the first to speak.

“You both are going to be fantastic grandmothers.” He informed her and Erika.

“I hope so.” Helena informed him

“Well I know so.” Erika assured her, as she put her arm around her. “Now how about that for a birthday present? Quite something isn’t it?”

Helena smiled, “It has certainly been a birthday I do not see forgetting in the foreseeable future.”

“I hope so.” Helena informed him.

“Well I know so.” Erika assured her, as she put her arm around her. “Now how about that for a birthday present? Quite something isn’t it?”

Helena smiled, “It has certainly been a birthday I do not see forgetting in the foreseeable future.”

#Helena Durazzo #hphm #hogwarts mystery #harry potter hogwarts mystery #future #hphm mc #Erika Rath #Cato Reese #Penny Haywood #Olivia Hearst #Alessandro Durazzo #Vincent Durazzo-Rath #Zara Durazzo-Rath #Brian Haywood-Reese

[movdotmov]

idk how to start this lol. under the cut will be rambling about my oc silvershine

silvershine is the redo of my first ever warriors oc, she used to be named spiritpelt and i wanted to keep the name so bad because its really funny and stupid but it just couldnt fit in her story without breaking the immersion for me. i try to be original in my names and i discovered like two years ago that silvershine has been done before (more than once) which makes me want to rip my eyes out but ive grown too attached, so it stays

her story im about to cover was written well over 4 years ago so please be nice... im considering rewriting it entirely but for now i just focus on tidbits and flesh out her relationships (or lack thereof) and use her story as a guideline

(also cw for abuse, neglect specifically)

silvershine is the second medicine cat of roseclan, whose story is an (exaggerated) cautionary tale on child neglect. silverpaw, as an apprentice, was very connected to starclan and had full faith in them; her pelt used to resemble silverpelt even, hence her prefix. however as she grew older they started to lose their shape and eventually came to look like sharp splotches, also symbolic

the thing with roseclan is that they are very focused on beauty and appearances, and is the main reason for silvershine’s neglect; her clanmates think shes ugly and she doesnt care to groom or look nice, so her clanmates try to scoot her out of public attention to keep up their standards. shes an embarrassment to them, and especially to dawnleaf, the eldest medicine cat and silvershine’s kin (aunt)

silvershine used to be a happy-go-lucky apprentice, but grew to resent her clan for casting her aside and trying to control her body. she had nearly no social life, except for when she met with the other medicine cats at half-moon meetings. her two real friends were circlepaw (working name) of prizeclan (also working name), and her mentor fretwish. circlepaw was her age and they got along well; silverpaw sort of clung to her since she was the only real friend she had, and fretwish was more of a mother to her than her kin. silverpaw loved both of them and used to visit frequently, but when she got her full name she had a lot more work to do and couldnt talk to them outside of those meetings, driving her mental spiral and eventual downfall

at her lowest, the dark forest ivypool’d her and recruited her as an inside man to do their scheming and weakening the clans from within. silvershine did this by thinning out the numbers, until greatpaw from clan 3 kills her

its now 5 in the morning and ive lost the drive to keep talking but hey. maybe ill babble more later. i need to draw the other med cats Ouhfn

#silvershine #warriors oc #cw abuse #i noticed that like every sentence in here has exactly one comma in it and its bothering me so much #my ocs #my art