#we're going to chill here for a bit

[hella1975]

so it turns out it was actually never that serious

#the exam literally went fine what the fuck just happened i feel like i just hallucinated that #like im not one of those people that go 'omg i did soooo badly :(' just to come out with top grades if i say it's going to shit #then it's becuase i genuinely wholeheartedly believe it #and my headspace before this exam was the worst it's been in MONTHS like i havent felt that bad for an exam since first year #and i sat down opened the paper and. remembered everything. like i literally just Knew the answers #im not saying ive passed bc am i fuck about to jinx it and i was still riding mainly blind bc i have NO idea where that knowledge came from #but at the very least there was a 35 marker that i KNOW i aced like i could picture the exact lecture slides it wanted me to discuss #and i had all of them memorised so at the very least ive got like. 30 marks. which is enough for me to pass the module #bc this exam is only weighted 75% and with my marks from the other 25% i only needed like 20 marks to pass this exam #which... makes it even more embarrassing that i failed it the first time but whatever!!!! #oh my god im so glad that's done im so happy IM FREE #just been in the kitchen dancing around to my little tunes and texting my friends <3 #im meeting up with one of them when she gets off work at 5 and we're going for drinks #so ive got until then to nap and chill and then ill go to the shop and get us some food and wine #and she's gonna come here for a bit & then we'll go. like actually look at me. im having people over at MY HOUSE im going out to buy us WIN #im literally a functioning adult living independently who IS she a misty memory #alas i do only have £23 in my account so this is gonna be such a slay seeing how i make that stretch for a night out #i acc could budget for england when it comes to alcohol i think like the way i manage to have a good funky time with MINIMAL funds #is downright impressive. it's a skill idc what you say #hella goes to uni

[orchideae]

1) Opens up drafts with my head empty, ready to be flooded, not knowing where I'll go. 2) 30 seconds later: Okay but I will go feral any day of my life over Perilous Trail, and the fierce dichotomy of Xiao and Yelan. While they're far from being 'the same', they both view themselves as soldiers in one way or another (it's a very difficult word to use for Yelan, so I'm using it very liberally and very loosely), they have both suffered losses on the 'battlefield' and carry the burden thereof in their own ways. And yet they stand so firmly in opposition throughout the entirety of that questline up until the very end of the 'the end of the line' conclusion of the quest. Yes, I know that she offers him her gratitude in its aftermath and it is genuine, but she still never agrees with him and the decision that he made moments earlier. It simply 'worked out' because of Zhongli's interference, he's the only reason it worked out. And it's because of that, that she doesn't give him a hell of a hard time (obviously she can't go down there, but imagine the inner frustration of severe extents; when you condemn someone who you can't even see anymore). In the same way that she would do to anyone who would sacrifice themselves for others, but in this case, I think it's 'beautiful' that it's to Xiao; the one who seems most adamant to do so (which honestly, fits into the contract that the Yakshas chose to sign with Morax; 'the ultimate sacrifice' to protect for Liyue; 'for Liyue', and Liyue has always centered itself around its people), the one who everyone reveres (and so does she, as she notes in her voiceline, 'if I ever have the honor to fight alongside') and respects for good reason, she stands against him, because in that moment, regardless of his status, he makes a call that she considers wrong. And he doesn't even... fight her on it very fiercely, and that's what actually hurts me the most, it's as if the following line hit the nail directly on the head?

"Besides, if you were really so determined to end it all, you wouldn't have given us the opportunity to share our opinions."

#[ mini study. ] that which hides inside her… that constant calling; it is the blood of heroes which has been howling for 500 years. #[ and then shortly after 'the point is: it's not time for drastic measures yet.' ] #[ /shakes ven into another dimension. ] #[ i thought the ost at the end of perilous ruined me enough. but tale of the yakshas may actually ruin me more. ] #[ also i love how i typed up the bit of the contract and 'for liyue' and zhongli in my head isn't rattling at bars but-- ] #[ he's sipping his tea (the equivalent). one day ven. i /promise/ you. one day you'll get him from me. ] #[ he'll likely be the 2nd genshin blog to run alongside yelan if/when i get to being able to run two again. ] #[ but until then. can we talk about the dynamic of xiao and yelan until we're blue in the face? i'd like to do that too. ] #[ i type this as if i'm perfectly chill but i'm not. i'm really not. the concept of self sacrifice and sacrifice as a whole. ] #[ BETWEEN THESE TWO. drives me /insane/. and part of me sits here and goes-- ] #[ god. what happened with yelan and her team down there? we know that despite every plan she ever made and prepared-- ] #[ their enemies (WHAT WERE YOU FIGHTING??) were too powerful and more specifically-- too smart. too calculating. ] #[ ... and too strong (okay literally what on earth were you fighting? are we talking the khaenri'ah soldiers? like what? or abyss mages?) ] #[ (but abyss mages don't exactly entirely fit the description in her story. ugh. UGH). ] #[ any way-- it was her and her team. /they/ all died and she didn't. yanfei describes it as... ] #[ 'knowing that your life was saved when others weren't'. surely the millilith didn't intervene or happen to arrive. yelan must've... ] #[ gotten away? or something? but that doesn't feel quite right. but i'm just sitting here left with the idea of... when you lead a team. ] #[ you bear the responsibility of even their lives. and yet despite bearing that responsibility; she's exactly the one who lived. ] #[ the only one who did. that has to be a /stupid/ burden. it's like the captain who has to go down with the ship but is the only one... ] #[ who gets to live. only one who gets to survive. i just. ] #[ i didn't think i'd love a character as much as this one. where did she come from; jesus christ. ]

[mikoriin]

maybe this is a controversial opinion but like....some of yall are getting Way too comfortable at the idea of killing another human being just because theyre “problematic”

#like idk it just rly rubs me the wrong way #some people on here see someone with a '''bad'''' opinion or moral stance and are like #well then die :) #like....maybe chill a bit #i know ive personally said elon musk and jeff bezos could die tomorrow and id be like jesus finally #and maybe im being a hypocrite but i feel theres a difference between saying that #capitalist pigs that hold all the worlds money and dont do shit to help fix the world or whatever #and instead spend it on going to space for fun or buying a social media site only to run it to the ground #could honestly die today and id be like yeah we're better off than like #saying a celebrity should die for being problematic or something #i see it with like creators and vas and other random users too #like u guys need to stop being so comfortable being so horrible #and understand that there are so many differing opinions and morals in the world #u are not righteously good because you feel you are the ''least problematic'' because good and bad are not things that are so black and whit #also wishing death upon someone for having a kind of shitty opinion when instead you could be wishing that they eventually become educated #and change their views and morals #thats not rly up the alley of 'good guy' lol #vent tag #sorry all my thoughts are in the tags

[neon-angels-system]

you're so cruel. I miss you.

#v mourning #I'm listening to your playlist again #I haven't cried in a while but the moment the first song played I broke again #just. fucking. you knew we'd all miss you so fucking much #so why did you go? why did you leave me? #I know why. I know. I get it. I'm your twin. of course I fucking get it. #but by the same token. I'm your fucking twin. if I can survive then so can you. #and the audacity of telling me not to follow you? after you chose to leave? #get back here to the world of the living just so I can yell at you #I miss you so much #I thought the dreams of you being alive had chilled out a bit #but I had another one where you died but it was temporary recently and I just #I miss you #i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. #I just want to hug you again #I want to feel you lean your head on my shoulder while we're on the bus #is that so much to ask for?

[sea-jello]

i know its a lot of screenshots listen i just like this scene okay peak boyf moment tbh

the one below is 7 im not labeling it cause i really like this shot

extra lol i paused it at the right time

#propaganda rested for a bit cause school started back up #but we're BACK #jeremy not getting the joke in the first one and rushing to comfort michael my beloved #the nd is real in this one #some of these you really need audio 😭😭 #what if i take the winner of all the propaganda polls and put them into one final poll #bmc australia showdown #that means i cant go over 10 propaganda posts oml #or i can make it an even number and do rounds #should i do that #this ones HEAVY on the pictures but its hard to capture a video in screenshots yk #at first this was supposed to be funny screenshots of like weird positions and stuff like the extra but no its evolved into this #PROPER propaganda #i should put these in a tag so its easier for me to find #bmc australia propaganda #<- how about that #im gonna be known as the bmc australia propaganda guy on here #bmc #be more chill #bmc australia #be more chill australia #jeremy heere #michael mell #be more chill squip #chloe valentine #brooke lohst #jeremy bmc #bmc jeremy #michael bmc #bmc michael

[unproduciblesmackdown]

also a special shoutout for real like wendy epic ableism moments when she stops talking directly to winston and expresses this is b/c he communicates too incorrectly (here too literally or whatever, once again whether he misinterpreted her or she misinterpreted him, it's put on him) and thus he doesn't deserve that

#winston billions #and i mean handshake with how winston's basically not considered allowed to talk at all by anyone out here #but like. alright we're not showing that winston is in the room mostly for a joke but even randos are like ''hmm. bit impolite'' lol #but once we do see him b/c he's speaking....like actually it Is heinously rude / diminishing / infantilizing to be spoken to indirectly #and The Behavior Is Inherently Ableist Here like ofc it's probably rude no matter what outside some kind of rly specific contexts lol but #that here she Is just implying he doesn't get to be spoken to b/c of some shortcoming / assumed lack of capacity #whatever she Does mean by ''see the matrix'' which is nothing but convenient vagueness abt Ability anyways #he's only here b/c she thinks he's annoying or w/e or otherwise extrinsically showing lack of value (can't be ableism there....) #and like winston and any other character is like. it's not textual sure but it doesn't need to be Textually Labeled #and sometimes can't be when ppl absolutely write based of ppl they know / encounter but don't know are autistic or etc #and that's how it works irl too. someone being Officially(tm) Autistic or smthing shouldn't be some necessary disclosure #b/c it's about The Underlying Principles At Play vs making some approved ''exceptions.'' if he's supposedly allistic it's still sm shit. #like how trans ppl & transphobia could exist prior to those terms even existing to be used. ppl are affected by them w/o being Out.... #& btw like ppl still saying some shit like ''some autistic ppl will just be Bad At / Have No Social Skills & you have to be chill abt it'' #like what does [social skills] mean here. what's the underlying element of socializing that they may do differently but you say is a Worse #or Absent version of the ''normal'' way of going about things. even if you actually get specific enough abt what a ''skill'' is; which is #gonna be a non universal non rule probably inaccurate idea of a Normal(tm) pattern of behavior/approach; sure maybe some ppl will struggle #to do that or largely/entirely not be able to do it / be unwilling to do it; gasp; what's its goal/effect & do they pursue/achieve that #another way. e.g how much AAC could be considered inherently ''bad'' re socializing or a lack of w/e ''skills'' or etc. #then like ok so once again a begrudging exception for autistic ppl is made. what's ''being okay with'' that even look like then? is anyone #gonna be using their ''good social skills'' to more successfully interact w/them? is Not socially excluding / ostracizing / punishing an #autistic person an Exception / something Extra you heroically do? e.g. & so what if some theoretical person isn't socially engaging w/other #ppl in any way. what do & don't they ''deserve'' differently from others b/c of that. #& anyways meanwhile they're certainly talking abt winston's Capabilities. but mostly talking around it b/c the point is He Gets Results & #will keep getting those results b/c why wouldn't he. but they can just cite anything to argue why oh but he doesn't Really have the value #cue vague shit like matrix refs b/c if he was Reeally talented we'd think he acts right. b/c Any bs can be said b/c winston doesn't have #the insulation or backup or ability to independently wield/gain social status his way through this shit. is only allowed to talk to #coworkers abt it by making it abt taylor actually (which is also true). still only makes it b/c rian is correctly remaining in the #acceptable range of being offbeat. so she already has more power than him & can choose to keep him around as that fun punching bag ig yay #then nobody cares. also he can't say he controls an instrument but Others refer to ''genius'' but negatively. wendy rhoades Would do ABA fr

[onepiexe]

today is so long and slow. and rainy.

#logbook #at least its not cold like yesterday. today i actually stripped down to my bottom layer which is nice. #ive been here almost 5hrs snd im finally getting my break lol #im so tired. i kept staying around bc we're trying to get some tables built and then our boss came by. #there was a bit to do with cleaning and consolidating etc but now its slowed back down. at least i leave soon. #going to sit in the car for another 10ish and then. yeah. i bet that tables not being built today. #cant wait to drive home and make some hot cider and curl up in blankets and chill.

[silasbug]

so the coursemate that texted me on sunday has been consistently trying to keep a conversation with me and internally i am very much *confused screaming*?

is this it? am i being adopted? why is this always how i end up making friends? someone passes by the "pathetic little guys" petshop and goes "i want that one" *pointing at the most pathetic guy out of the bunch (me)*

#'hey you seem cool & i want to get to know you' *goes just a little bit more insane because my worldview is suddenly shaken* is the gist #i have a lot more to say but i'm going to try to be chill and normal about this *is not chill or normal about this* #the apprehension is there of course but.. i'll see where this goes #we're going to go pick plants tomorrow because he didn't find much when he went and he lives like.. two streets down from me #and since i know all the spots up here i am more than happy to help a guy out #breathe bug-- remember that this is normal. this is how IRL human relationships work (is it???) #personal

[timoswerner]

ashgdahjsfdkas the one girl who’s always awkward when we’re trying to organise holidays is being awkward again

#so everyone pretty much agreed we're happy for it to be a chill thing like last time and was happy with bournemouth because its easy to get #to for everyone #and we found some accommodation we were just waiting for a couple more people to say they were happy with that one #and now she's piped up like 'i dunno if i can come for the whole time so can we go somewhere thats near where i work' which is surrey #like okay fine but the girl that lives in plymouth is also only able to come for saturday and sunday and she's not asked for us go down to #the west country you know #and now she's like 'can we go to brighton or kent' i mean idk where the fuck she's thinking in kent #but apparently that might have 'more going on' that bournemouth #but like yeah okay if you do the research because i think the person who has the bestbooking.com discount is getting a bit sick of doing it #all themselves #like when we went to Portugal we had it all figured then she was like 'oh can we go somewhere else where there's surfing' and we all said #yeah sure but you find the hotel #and she never did! #anyway thats exactly whats gonna happen here lol #stacey speaks

[myname-isnia]

I love having my friends over, I really do, but there comes a point where I need some alone time or I will explode

#they're gonna be here until Thursday #because it's gonna be -30 tomorrow and I'm not about to let them go out in the cold #but honestly.. I'm tired #and it's not like they're being loud or anything #we're all just chilling on our phones in silence #but it's the knowledge that I'm not alone that sets me off #can't even go anywhere because my balcony door doesn't close properly so the kitchen is freezing #and what else can I do. sit in the bathroom for an hour? #no thanks #okay and really I just need to get off. like really badly #and maybe have a bit of a cry #look I've been surrounded by people since Saturday evening I need to be alone #and indulge in the fungus. but I can't and it's pissing me off #I love my friends dearly but at this point even existing in the same room as someone is too much

[cocklessboy]

The biggest male privilege I have so far encountered is going to the doctor.

I lived as a woman for 35 years. I have a lifetime of chronic health issues including chronic pain, chronic fatigue, respiratory issues, and neurodivergence (autistic + ADHD). There's so much wrong with my body and brain that I have never dared to make a single list of it to show a doctor because I was so sure I would be sent directly to a psychologist specializing in hypochondria (sorry, "anxiety") without getting a single test done.

And I was right. Anytime I ever tried to bring up even one of my health issues, every doctor's initial reaction was, at best, to look at me with doubt. A raised eyebrow. A seemingly casual, offhand question about whether I'd ever been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder. Even female doctors!

We're not talking about super rare symptoms here either. Joint pain. Chronic joint pain since I was about 19 years old. Back pain. Trouble breathing. Allergy-like reactions to things that aren't typically allergens. Headaches. Brain fog. Severe insomnia. Sensitivity to cold and heat.

There's a lot more going on than that, but those were the things I thought I might be able to at least get some acknowledgement of. Some tests, at least. But 90% of the time I was told to go home, rest, take a few days off work, take some benzos (which they'd throw at me without hesitation), just chill out a bit, you'll be fine. Anxiety can cause all kinds of odd symptoms.

Anyone female-presenting reading this is surely nodding along. Yup, that's just how doctors are.

Except...

I started transitioning about 2.5 years ago. At this point I have a beard, male pattern baldness, a deep voice, and a flat chest. All of my doctors know that I'm trans because I still haven't managed to get all the paperwork legally changed, but when they look at me, even if they knew me as female at first, they see a man.

I knew men didn't face the same hurdles when it came to health care, but I had no idea it was this different.

The last time I saw my GP (a man, fairly young, 30s or so), I mentioned chronic pain, and he was concerned to see that it wasn't represented in my file. Previous doctors hadn't even bothered to write it down. He pushed his next appointment back to spend nearly an hour with me going through my entire body while I described every type of chronic pain I had, how long I'd had it, what causes I was aware of. He asked me if I had any theories as to why I had so much pain and looked at me with concerned expectation, hoping I might have a starting point for him. He immediately drew up referrals for pain specialists (a profession I didn't even know existed till that moment) and physical therapy. He said depending on how it goes, he may need to help me get on some degree of disability assistance from the government, since I obviously shouldn't be trying to work full-time under these circumstances.

Never a glimmer of doubt in his eye. Never did he so much as mention the word "anxiety".

There's also my psychiatrist. He diagnosed me with ADHD last year (meeting me as a man from the start, though he knew I was trans). He never doubted my symptoms or medical history. He also took my pain and sleep issues seriously from the start and has been trying to help me find medications to help both those things while I go through the long process of seeing other specialists. I've had bad reactions to almost everything I've tried, because that's what always happens. Sometimes it seems like I'm allergic to the whole world.

And then, just a few days ago, the most shocking thing happened. I'd been wondering for a while if I might have a mast cell condition like MCAS, having read a lot of informative posts by @thebibliosphere which sounded a little too relatable. Another friend suggested it might explain some of my problems, so I decided to mention it to the psychiatrist, fully prepared to laugh it off. Yeah, a friend thinks I might have it, I'm not convinced though.

His response? That's an interesting theory. It would be difficult to test for especially in this country, but that's no reason not to try treatments and see if they are helpful. He adjusted his medication recommendations immediately based on this suggestion. He's researching an elimination diet to diagnose my food sensitivities.

I casually mentioned MCAS, something routinely dismissed by doctors with female patients, and he instantly took the possibility seriously.

That's it. I've reached peak male privilege. There is nothing else that could happen that could be more insane than that.

I literally keep having to hold myself back from apologizing or hedging or trying to frame my theories as someone else's idea lest I be dismissed as a hypochondriac. I told the doctor I'd like to make a big list of every health issue I have, diagnosed and undiagnosed, every theory I've been given or come up with myself, and every medication I've tried and my reactions to it - something I've never done because I knew for a fact no doctor would take me seriously if they saw such a list all at once. He said it was a good idea and could be very helpful.

Female-presenting people are of course not going to be surprised by any of this, but in my experience, male-presenting people often are. When you've never had a doctor scoff at you, laugh at you, literally say "I won't consider that possibility until you've been cleared by a psychologist" for the most mundane of health problems, it might be hard to imagine just how demoralizing it is. How scary it becomes going to the doctor. How you can internalize the idea that you're just imagining things, making a big deal out of nothing.

Now that I'm visibly a man, all of my doctors are suddenly very concerned about the fact that I've been simply living like this for nearly four decades with no help. And I know how many women will have to go their whole lives never getting that help simply because of sexism in the medical field.

If you know a doctor, show them this story. Even if they are female. Even if they consider themselves leftists and feminists and allies. Ask them to really, truly, deep down, consider whether they really treat their male and female patients the same. Suggest that the next time they hear a valid complaint from a male patient, imagine they were a woman and consider whether you'd take it seriously. The next time they hear a frivolous-sounding complaint from a female patient, imagine they were a man and consider whether it would sound more credible.

It's hard to unlearn these biases. But it simply has to be done. I've lived both sides of this issue. And every doctor insists they treat their male and female patients the same. But some of the doctors astonished that I didn't get better care in the past are the same doctors who dismissed me before.

I'm glad I'm getting the care I need, even if it is several decades late. And I'm angry that it took so long. And I'm furious that most female-presenting people will never have this chance.

#transgender #queer #transmasc #lgbtqia+ #trans man #sexism #medical sexism #feminism #male privilege

[4phr0d17e]

.

#vent post lol //////////// #i NEED to quit my job its destroying my mental health my emotional stability amd its genuinely putting a lot of strain on my relationship #but. i make like 2k aud a week. and im not paying any rent or bills so most of that goes straight into savings #we're saving for a house we only have tp get through another year anyway and then our visas run out #and if we get through it we'll be able to put a massive downpayment on a house and have a really small mortgage and basically be #chill financially for the rest of our lives. (i hope). but we have to get through it first #idk idk idk like is it actually worth it? yes obviously its worth it we're gonna be able to buy a house #but is it worth it? #it genuinely might not be #but idek what we'll do for a living when we move to europe and idek if i want to live in the country we're planning to move to #so i should have as much money behind me as possible when i get to that point to make it easier #but its destroying me. i hate it i hate it i hate it #i work 10-12hr days 5-6 days a week. outdoors. manual labour #and the main reason we save so much is bc we choose to live year round in the onsite accomodation they have for seasonal workers #most ppl stay onsite a bit but have homes in the area they go back to at the weekend or if they arent working too far away #amd we move sites a lot so we only stay places for a couple months tops #its alright rn bc we're staying at a site we really like that does feel like home (even tho the accom is just as shitty and industrial as #the rest) (well not quite as shitty as some but still . shitty) and we're here alone just me and my fiance #but next week other ppl are gonna come stay here and we'll probably be sharing the hut with 1 of them. our best guess is itll be #this one dude who is like . nice and all but hes like 65 years old. and i dont want to share a house with anyone apart from my fiance #especially not a man!!!!! but this is the price to pay for no rent #no privacy no personal space no putting down roots no sense of home no sense of community. no decorating my fucking house #idfk what to do. #delete later

[yuunfi]

you think you’re over it but then you hear the two songs you played on repeat all throughout that one detached-from-reality-summer where u saw him day and night, and everything becomes a little blurry. you’re over it until you pass the bench by the sidewalk, the two people in love only a few feet away from you but in a world completely of their own, and you remember how you sobbed under the streetlights, pretending your pain was just brought about by something or the other. 

you’re fine until you pass by that one corner in the library. you remember how you woke up from a nap that felt like death, the table leaving imprints on your tired face. you remember seeing someone else in a haze, and feeling exhausted and alone, away from home. you remember doing a double take, seeing his face, his voice low the way he’d talk to someone in need of tender care and affection. “did you think we’d just leave you alone like that? im right here, yeah?”

 you tell yourself you’re over him and that you’re fine. you honestly are, really. until you’re playing with your mother’s hair, and you catch a scene from her soap drama. its a girl on the phone with her friend, her closest, with pain laced so deeply in her voice its a miracle no one hears it. “hey, its alright. he was yours to begin with. all that? just one-sided delusions. wishful thinking. i give you my blessing, so make sure you’re happy enough for the both of us. its no one’s fault, is it? love can’t be earned if you’re pitiful enough, if you wish for someone enough. it just happens.” you don’t notice what you’re remembering, which hazy memory, but you know your eyes burn and your throat is holding back a tight, lead-like lump. you know there are burning, red-hot tears streaming down your face on an uneventful summer afternoon.

 you know you’re never going to find someone like that again. you know that even if you do, by some twisted curse of fate, they won’t be yours. you know because you knew this before, before he happened, before you met him. you knew what your person would be like, and you knew it wouldn’t happen for you.

 you’re sitting in a crowded campus bus, golden light spilling in. you’re next to your best friend, and you tell her “you know? i know for sure i won’t find someone like him. i’ll get married, i’ll settle, but it’ll never be like that.” 

she tells you she knows, in the depths of her heart and soul, that you’ll find love. you’ll find someone who fits with you even better than him. you let her have it. you let yourself pretend for a few minutes, but you know, in the depths of your heart.

 you know you have such good luck with everything else, you know you can get out of the worst situations unscathed, you know the corner store always has a stock of your favorites, you know you’re blessed with a little mundane magic because the universe knows you’re never going to get the form of love you’ve always wondered about, always craved.

you’re fine until you remember, and then you force yourself to be fine once again.

#im going to pretend i can write on here #and rant about the saddest things that have happened 2 me #and it'll then be the problem of exactly. 2 people who are going to come accross this aha ha #context is #i met a boy. we became friends. i loved him from the start. #which is cool and all but even before that he'd met a girl #a literalt fukinf angel so i cant even feel sorry for myself in peace #n e ways i told him. knew fully it wouldnt work out. just wanted it to be out there #i told him a week after i thot i was over him tho bc i thot it'd be chill #things got awkward and then they got fine #we're still friends. i dont like him anymore but i remember the version of me that Did so its a bit. yea

[peachesofteal]

Light On - single mom/neighbors fic Simon Riley/female reader 🎄 @glitterypirateduck’s December challenge: O Christmas Tree

"What about this one?"

You're standing next to a giant tree, one that's probably double your height. "It's a little big but-"

"I don't know if that will fit in your flat, sweetheart." You huff, hands on your hips, and Emmaline wiggles where she's snuggled against him, tucked up on his chest inside his arms. You've got her in some sort of snow suit, like a baby marshmallow, capped with a red knit hat that ties under chin to keep the ear flaps down, and even though she clearly hates it, and looks a little ridiculous, he knows the whole thing is keeping her warm in tonight's frigid weather.

"Okay. What about this one?" The one you're pointing to now is smaller, but sparse, a little prickly looking. He shakes his head. "You don't like any of them!" You protest, and Emma grunts, babbling some sort of nonsense.

"'m just doing what the boss here is telling me to do." She looks up at him, eyes bright with a little bit of snot beneath her nose, and he wipes it away with his thumb. "There you go, baby girl. I gotcha."

"She's not the boss." You step close with a shiver, close enough that he can see the fog of your breath, peek of your neck beneath your scarf, and he reaches out to pad his fingertips across your chilled cheek.

"Cold?" You shrug.

"A little." You dip forward to give Emma a quick kiss on the cheek, and at the same time, he ducks down, pressing his lips to the crown of your head. He's never going to get used to this. Never. Even now, in this moment, he can't believe he's walking a tree lot with you, debating which one to choose. Him. Simon Ghost Riley, picking out a Yule tree with you and the baby. His family.

There's a bang in the street. A car backfiring, probably, but it's enough that it startles someone else on the lot, and they shout, the combination like a shot of adrenaline to his heart, focus and intensity taking over, his movements shifting to autopilot. His hand covers Emma's head, curling forward at the same as he tugs you into his body with a firm arm around your back, essentially immobilizing you, keeping you close in case- "Simon." You say his name softly, gently, fingers holding onto his forearm. The touch grounds him, reminds him to breathe, and he relaxes slightly. "It's alright. We're okay, we're at the Christmas tree place. You're okay. You're with us." With you. With you and Emmaline. At home. He closes his eyes, repeating it in his mind, twice, three times, for good measure, before he trusts enough to uncover the baby's head and let go of you completely. You smile when he does, bright, beautiful, sweet, still working you touch against his arm, not stepping away.

"I'm sorry." He tries to explain, but you shake it off.

"Don't be. It's okay." You loop your arm through his, sticking close to his side. "Want to keep looking?" You ask, nonchalant, and he's overcome with emotion so strong it could bring him to his knees.

"Yeah, but I... I want..." he stumbles over it, words failing, and you wait, patiently, turning into him so you can look up at his face.

"What is it?" Holiday lights glow behind you, twinkling colors mixed with frosted whites, strung together across trees and posts and big red and green signs, 'O Christmas Tree' playing over the speakers that line the perimeter. He's never been one for holidays, never really cared about any of it, all the excitement lost on him, most of the celebrated days spent alone. But now... with you, with the baby, he feels the magic. He thinks he can even see it, in you, in Emmaline, and he's filled to the brim with the wonder, the anticipation for it all, to experience it all for the first time like this, with his angels.

"I want to kiss you." He says the same words he gave you a week ago, outside on the balcony, and you give you him the same smile, warm and welcoming, lips curling upwards with happiness.

"Please." You beam, and he obliges, your lips parting for his, getting lost in the taste of your mouth, decadent honey dripping across his tongue. You make him dizzy, make him stupid, make him so weak for you, and all he wants is more. He wants it all, wants everything you'd give him, and he has to hold himself back, cognizant of Emma in his arms, pulling away regretfully after five seconds that could last five hours, or days. Years. You clear your throat. "Well, okay, uh- should we?" You motion to another row of trees, and he nods with a laugh.

"We should."

Later, after the tree has been decorated, dinner has been made and cleaned up, fire started in the fireplace, Emmaline has had her bath, and you've changed into your pajamas, he sits on your couch with you curled into his side, both you and the baby asleep. It's late, and the lights are out, and he thinks he probably should have woken you to get you both up into bed, but he can't bring himself to shatter the moment, the silence, the fire, and the sounds of your breathing, face barely illuminated by the glow of the lights. He stays right there, listening to the crackle of the logs, staring at the tree, watching the two of you breathe, heart so full he thinks it could explode. This is it, he thinks. This is the magic.

#light on #peaches writes #codholiday2023 #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #soft dad simon riley

[astonmartinii]

no more ace to play [mamma mia part two] | formula one social media au

drivers: sebastian vettel, fernando alonso and jenson button

the investigation was fruitful but now y/n has a handful of drivers and a bucket load of criticism

general note: i answered an ask about this but i thought i'd reiterate here, this is a no wives or kids au, so seb and jenson's wives and kids do not exist in this !! thank you so much for all the lovely feedback on the last part, hopefully i remembered to tag everyone who asked x

part one | masterlist | ko-fi

yourusername

liked by sebastianvettel, jensonbutton and 1.405,605 others

tagged: fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel, jensonbutton

yourusername: so i guess it's kinda real now and they're all lovely x

view all comments

user4: i know the bitter old people are going to find this now but i for one think it's fucking ICONIC

user5: the guys are way too chill for the situation

user6: they've not said anything, so how would you know?

user5: idk reeks of babytrapping

user7: be for real y/n doesn't need to baby trap anyone she has her own career?

yourbff: debrief needed STAT

yourusername: literally on my way to yours right now get the non-alcoholic wine READY

landonorris: do i like get a prize for my hand in this?

yourusername: here's a gold star ⭐️

landonorris: i was hoping for some monetary rewards

yourusername: ur literally a millionaire ?

landonorris: and?

user8: are any of them gonna like comment or?

user9: very odd considering they wouldn't shut THE FUCK UP on their own posts

user10: for real they were very proud of their 'accomplishments' but now it's the consequences of their actions and theyre silent ?

user11: have yall considered the fact that finding out you might be a dad is a bit of a shock, let them all process it?

jensonbutton

liked by lewishamilton, sebastianvettel and 302,889 others

jensonbutton: back to see the old rides

view all comments

user12: SPILL JENSON PLEASE

user13: so like what team is this kid going to support they've got so much to choose from?

user14: if they have any taste, ferrari 💅

user15: i mean their momma clearly has taste so ....

oscarpiastri: nice to meet you jenson!

jensonbutton: by how much mark talks about you i could've sworn i'd already met you

aussiegrit: bold of you to send shots my way considering your current predicament

user16: mark saying this like they aren't lucky to be with y/n ?

user17: bro we all saw that you met up with y/n and the baby daddy squad... wanna maybe share some thoughts?

user18: why would he want to publicise that he got with a slag?

user17: i know you're not calling y/n a slag when we're talking about f1 playboy JENSON BUTTON ?

user19: i have complete faith that this mamma mia summer WILL have a good ending but i NEED these men to maybe actually talk about it so people aren't just out here coming for y/n ?

yourusername

liked by fernandoalo_oficial, jensonbutton and 1,209,677 others

yourusername: got myself a sweet treat and did some meditation (i.e. listening to asmr roleplay) because life is crazy and morning sickness is a bitch

view all comments

user24: not to be sappy but i am emotional watching y/n go through this, she's been on the internet for so long i feel like i've watched her grow up, idk anything about f1 but i hope they're good for her

yourbff: gosh who knew you getting pregnant would lead to us having to go to the bakery every single morning

yourusername: but but but they have such good croissants and SHUSH I BUY YOU YOURS EVERYDAY

yourbff: i know you're like my sugar mama, please still buy me pastries when you have your actual child

user25: i think we're all being a wee bit dramatic about the whole "they haven't said anything" business. yes, they probably should say they're fine with it so people stop accusing y/n of baby trapping them but ALSO we don't know what they do everyday, maybe we should just let the adults go about their business

charles_leclerc: i am basically seb's kid so i shall be a character witness: that man is an ANGEL and believe me that took a lot for me to say in public lol

yourusername: why thank you charles, i have heard a lot about you. in fact on his "provisional dad cv", sebastian directly named you, some guys called max verstappen, mick schumacher and lance stroll as fatherly experience

maxverstappen1: LOL I KNEW SEB LOVED ME BUT WTF IS A DAD CV

sebastianvettel: this is a serious matter and i wanted to show that i'm serious about fatherhood

mickschumacher: soz max, charles and lance i think WE all know who his favourite is

lancestroll: i'm just happy to be recognised tbf

yourusername: well i kinda hope this real child will be his favourite...

charles_leclerc: boring 🥱

alexalbon: well i'm gonna nominate myself as jenson's grid kid and woah that guy is great 👍

jensonbutton: sounds kinda sarcastic but thanks for the effort alex

carlossainz55: seeing as we're all here i'll say that nando is the best grid dad sorry not sorry

yourusername: you're all here but idk who you people are ?

fernandoalo_oficial: chilli have i ever told you how proud i am of you?

stoffelvandoorne: do i mean nothing to you old man

user26: wtf is going on here

fernandoalo_oficial

liked by yourusername, sebastianvettel and 1,403,677 others

fernandoalo_oficial: what a race! thankful to finally be back on the podium this weekend and i'd like to dedicate this race to the soon-to-be new addition and my new family, here's to our future ❤️

view all comments

user27: HOLY SHIT THIS IS SO CUTE

user28: i'm sorry the THUMB IN THE MOUTH CELEBRATION ARE YOU KIDDING?

jensonbutton: proud of you, come home quick x

user29: i'm sooooo chill about this

fernandoalo_oficial: i'll make sure to tell the team that THE jenson button wants the meeting to go faster

sebastianvettel: do i mean nothing? that's literally my old team name drop ME

yourusername: just tell them i've gone into labour

fernandoalo_oficial: you've not even been pregnant two months yet...

yourusername: they don't know that

astonmartinf1: this is a public instagram comment section...

maxverstappen1: maybe when the little one is actually here i'll let you win for once

fernandoalo_oficial: how kind of you?

maxverstappen1: i need the little one to know that at least one of you is cool and that i should be their favourite god father

lewishamilton: now that is a bold assumption

danielricciardo: i have been quiet on this topic but if anyone is prime god father material YOU'RE LOOKING AT HIM

yourusername: you'll all receive an email and a god father application in the coming weeks

charles_leclerc: is this another seb idea?

yourusername: maybe... but idk yall so i think it's a good idea

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, mickschumacher and 1,509,874 others

tagged: jensonbutton, fernandoalo_oficial, sebastianvettel

yourusername: welcome to the crazy house

view all comments

user33: so we've confirmed the poly? yes or no?

user34: i'm gonna say yes but with them you literally never know

georgerussell63: so we all sent them a jellycat?

alexalbon: speak for yourself george that sick ass rocking bunny is all albon

user35: not to be weird but this kids is literally going to have the hottest parents of all time

user36: no cause if i'm a teacher and all of them walk in for parent's evening i'm passing out

jensonbutton: oh wow what a lovely crib i wonder who put that together

fernandoalo_oficial: don't you dare take all the credit

sebastianvettel: as if anyone other than the WOOD WORK KING put that together

yourusername: guys they are lying the delivery guy put it together and they all stood around watching like dads at the airport

jensonbutton: "like dads" so still getting the experience in

danielricciardo: so who is responsible for this grandpa ass nursery aesthetic?

yourusername: well this is awkward i thought it was cute

fernandoalo_oficial: it is don't worry honey, it matches seb's overall grandpa aesthetic

sebastianvettel: you guys agreed to move to mine don't switch up on my aesthetic now

jensonbutton: oh seb we all love your certain affinity for tartan and plaid

sebastianvettel: i'm not feeling this love right now :(

yourusername: cuddle pile incoming

note: ahhh okay this was very highly requested so i hope it met expectations. i'm thinking this could defo be a longer series (i am also working on into the arms of another dw) following the whole family if yall would like that? i'm gonna try and tag everyone who requested that, i am sorry if i missed anyone x

taglist: @boiohboii @vellicora @faithm120601 @raizelchrysanderoctavius @luv4kani @minkyungseokie @eugene-emt-roe @magical-spit @ironmaiden1313 @jaydaaasworld @whoreks @rainerax @nonsensical-nonsence @laneyspaulding19 @chelseyyouraverageluigi @lxclerc @gemofthenight @woweewoowa

#f1 imagine #f1 x reader #f1 instagram au #f1 x you #f1 #sebastian vettel instagram au #sebastian vettel x reader #sebastian vettel #sebastian vettel imagine #sebastian vettel x you #fernando alonso instagram au #fernando alonso x reader #fernando alonso imagine #fernando alonso #jenson button instagram au #jenson button x reader #jenson button imagine #mamma mia au #astonmartinii

[lina-lovebug]

I'd Fight The Devil

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Background: (Y/N) Morningstar with her partner, Alastor, has decided to put some of the Overlords in their place.

Warning: Alastor being Alastor, mentions of pregnancy but no one's pregnant, and Alastor might have a breeding kink

_ _ _

"(Y/N)! What a surpri-!"

"I believe that's Princess (Y/N) Morningstar, Heir to the throne of Hell, and Duchess of Chaos - to you," Alastor loved doing this. He adored how (Y/N) had decided to start using her true power, and to bring respect back to her name.

The family name, to be exact.

Valentino chuckled nervously as (Y/N) scoped out the place, her horns ever presenting and tail flicking with annoyance.

"What a pleasure to be hosting you, Princess. What would be the reason for this visit?" Valentino asked, offering her a drink.

"I'm fine, thank you," She dismissed it, already smelling the poison inside the cocktail.

"I'm here to discuss Angel Dust, and your contract with him."

"If he's too much trouble for the hotel, I'll happily-"

"You're the one causing the trouble," Alastor cut him off.

Valentino sputtered, "me?!"

"You can feign innocence all you wish, Val, but I've heard that you've called my sister a bimbo, along with many other colorful names," (Y/N) slowly stood up, leaning over his desk as the lights started to go out - one by one.

"Charlie is nice. She's always been the kinder of us Morningstars, but apparently this makes you think that you can go and soil our name. My father could have strung every sinner on a hook for eternity, torturing you all second by second as your screams sung into our great halls," no one had been unfortunate enough to see the form of (Y/N) Morningstar, and Val was one of them.

Her height expanded to nine feet tall, her pretty black nails forming into claws and her eyes ablaze with scarlet serpent pupils.

And wings - oh great black wings that could make even Adam rethink his attack.

When he was still alive, of course.

"And you sully his gift by mocking us."

"Look, Vox did it first! Okay?! He said you'd never-!" Val tripped on a tentacle that came from her beloved Alastor, who dropped a TV by his feet.

But not just any TV.

"Oh God," Val gasped, "Vox. . .?"

"I took care of him earlier," Alastor grinned, still reminiscent on his screams.

"I couldn't have my dear (Y/N) sully her hands with his filth. But whatever the Princess wants, she gets."

Oh to see her come into her power was as chilling as death itself.

"You're so romantic, Alastor," (Y/N) smiled.

That's when Valentino spotted it. On the left hand of (Y/N) Morningstar was a ruby wedding ring, the band pure gold.

Alastor finally did it.

He climbed up the latter, but not through power.

Well yes, through power, but he certified that it would always be his.

By marrying Lucifers daughter.

"We're matching, isn't it adorable?" Alastor showed off his own wedding band, ruby's encrusted inside of it.

"Now, where were we?" She grinned, and as an engagement gift, the screams of Vox and Valentino were broadcasted throughout all of Hell.

And they say chivalry is dead.

_ ☆ _

"They're fucking crazy."

"They're made for each other."

On that, Angel Dust and Husker could agree.

The lovely couple had become the center of Hells attention after their engagement was announced, and even though Alastor thought it would be hilarious for Lucifer to find out through the papers, she told him first.

And he cried.

"Oh my baby is all grown up!" Lucifer sobbed loudly, clinging onto her legs, "look at you! You-you used to be this small!" Lucifer grabbed a duck, "and you were so tiny and so cute!"

"Am I invited?" Lucifer squeaked, staring up into her eyes.

"Yes, dad," She smiled, bringing him up to his feet, "but we want to wait a bit before we plan anything."

"You know she used to bite my finger?!" Lucifer grabbed the baby pictures of little (Y/N), "look at how small she was! Oh, and this one is my favorite!"

Alastor truly didn't mind how touchy Lucifer had become with him, but thankfully, Lucifer also knew when to stop.

"Wait, is that why you're getting married?! Did you impregnate my daughter?!" Lucifer gasped, shoving his hand on her stomach.

"Dad! Dad, no! I'm not pregnant!" She quickly cleared up.

"Unfortunately," Alastor muttered to himself. Oh to see her belly swell with his children - his own spawn, it made his cock twitch at the thought.

He was fond of children but his own? Oh he'd spoil his little prince or princess with all the blood sacrifices the world had to offer.

"Yeah but you know what marriage entails, kiddo!" He pointed at them both with finger guns, "first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes a baby-oh my GOD I'll be a grandpa!"

He started crying again.

She sighed, "at least we know our hypothetical child will be taken care of."

Alastor nodded, "I could not have picked a better father-in-law."

At this point, Lucifer was ugly crying.

Alastor looked at his beloved with a soft gaze as she tried calming her father down. To be honest, Alastor never thought he would ever find solace in Hell. He anticipated every day being a fight for his life, always looking over his shoulder and always striving for more power. And as cheesy as it sounded, he saw (Y/N) as his shining light. She brought out his sad heart, and for the first time in his life, he wished his mother was with him.

To see just what a wonderful woman he managed to catch.

#alastor imagine #hazbin hotel imagine #hazbin hotel x reader #alastor x reader