#we used to have the cut lemon in the fridge lmao | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

toomuchsky · 3 years

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16, 22, 29?

16. how you wake your body up when it’s feeling tired, achy or needs a stretch

oh i love this question!!! usually i go find my cats if they're not already in the room with me! or i wander around and pick up random pieces of trash or put dishes away or whatever. or do a little high stretch bci love stretching. if i have the energy i usually love a little cardio occasionally, but we build up to it lmao. also WATER LMAO one swig of that and i feel so much better.

22. if you were going to dye your hair any colour of the rainbow, what would you choose?

ooooh i think like a dark purple, or tips/streaks of teal or dark blue. i've never really been a dye my whole head one color kind of person but i think a dark inky purple would look soooo good on me.

29. a favourite easy recipe: 5 ingredients or less, or takes less than 30 min to make

oh! def some chaotic ramen or chaotic stir fry with these ready made udon noodles i love to buy. literally either: create a chaotic soup base with whatever is in the fridge (soy sauce, ponzu, chili oil, lemon juice, whatever spices u want), cut up whatever veggies you want, a block of tofu, then the noodles, and then just let it simmer for however long u feel like waiting; OR create a chaotic spice blend to fry the tofu in (usually i use: citric acid, amchur, black salt, chili powder, hot curry powder, garam masala, old bay, and some others i can't remember), fry tofu plus whatever other veggies u want (i always keep mushrooms and asparagus in the fridge, and sometimes i'll throw sliced carrots in!), and then put the noodles in and just stir fry! then whatever other sauces u want (soy sauce, mirin, hoisin, chili garlic, and ponzu are my go tos).

so easy and doable and everything tastes so good after, both less than 30 minutes and not counting spices and sauces an easy fewer than 5 ingredients dish! really the only two things u need are tofu and noodles and then the rest is whatever ur feeling that day or have in the fridge. (also i feel like it needs to be said i understand this is incredibly chaotic but this is like. a midnight to 3 am i'm starving meal or a i have a meeting in 20 minutes and i haven't cooked meal. ANYWAY.

thank u for asking!!!!!

#don't look at me #black salt rly makes the dish i love black salt #ty for asking my friend!!!! love u!!!#also they're both so good bc it's like. one dish. two if i'm feeling fancy and fry the tofu in a separate pan #and like a cutting board and a plate to press the tofu on but that's it

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jubilantscribbler · 4 years

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Scribby’s Recipe of Existential Dread and Mistakes

Ingredients:

Whatever you can raid from the fridge without waking the 'rents

The light of your phone because your 'rent is sleeping legit next to the kitchen

For this example I have:

My dad's remaining pepper jack cheese

My dad's remaining sharp cheddar cheese

A whole thing of gruyere I was saving for a legitimate recipe but who cares lmao

Smoked salmon

Avocado

For some reason we have olives so I guess that will also be added to this affair

God help me

Instructions:

Cut out thick slices (but not too thick) from your dad's cheeses. Leave him the bigger portion cause, you know, that's his cheese.

Cut off some of that gruyere you were saving for that One Recipe you were gonna make for your fam on your One Week Off but you know that maybe only your siblings will eat it because your parents are on diets and you work late at night and don't know what's the up and up with them until you finish a dish and realize they can't eat it because the rue uses flour so you lament buying the gruyere that was probably an extravagant buy from Costco but so was the smoked salmon and life is hard so why not spoil yourself, amiright? Also think about another recipe to feed the 'rents.

Look at your sad excuse of a cheese platter and remember that your Asian existence means that you're kinda lactose intolerant so maybe this is too much cheese for your feeble body.

Cut more gruyere.

Leave the cheese blocks that you stole and move onto the avocado. Slice it up in the dark and contemplate the fact that you're still living with your parents despite being almost 25, and imagine a life where you don't feel ashamed for buying things like Costco Smoked Salmon and Gruyere. Besides you help pay the bills and groceries anyways so splurging on food once a month is Valid.

Look up avocado toast and smoked salmon recipes and ignore the fact that most recipes call for veggies as well and just settle for what you have. Find the weird bottle of maybe lemon, maybe lime juice in your fridge and examine the partially rubbed off expiration date. It's probably expired, but the fridge is loud and squeaky and you think your dad stopped snoring so you accept your fate and season the avocado with lemon (?) juice, salt, and pepper. Mash together.

Remember to keep turning the flashlight back on as you take pics you won’t use. Also ask if we're running out of pepper. Are we running out of pepper?? Where's the grocery list? When was the last time you've seen the grocery list?? Time is unstoppable and every moment you feel a little more untethered as you realize that the house you've lived in for over five years is becoming more and more unfamiliar to you as you continue to work your life away at a job you hate.

Add a splash of cayenne pepper powder if you can find it.

You cannot find the cayenne pepper powder :(

Taste the avocado mash.

It tastes weird and unlike anything you've tasted before. That lemon juice was probably off. But no one else is gonna eat this but you, so you shrug and accept it.

Cut open the smoked salmon and realize you forgot the fucking bread. Grab a few slices and contemplate how to warm this shit up without waking the 'rent. Toaster pops too loud, but the conventional oven thingy is kinda loud too. Risk it with the oven.

Look at the olives and try to rationalize using these to replace capers. No one else is gonna eat this, so you do it anyways.

Spread the avocado mash on the two slices of bread and realize why food recipes always have a story attached to them. Refuse to elaborate any further.

Be annoyed when your phone refuses to take anymore pics because it's low on battery but also relate because mood. And anyway, you try putting the pics into the post but the Tumblr app just mixes the post up like it’s a batter so you delete all the pics. Layer the smoked salmon on top of the mash and cut up the olives to fit.

Realize this is your first time dealing with smoked salmon and be shocked that this shit needs to sliced up. You idiot. You fool. Of course it needs to be sliced up this isn't deli meat. Sigh as you grab a new knife.

Apologize to the fish for desecrating its flesh. You're trying your best. You really are. Put on the olives.

Consider the roiling in your stomach as a foreboding. Slam this shit into that tiny ass oven and use the broil function. You don't even know if it works but goddamnit you're gonna use it.

Put the highest temp you got and choose a random number of minutes (10 for now). Now go back to the cheese and consider cutting it into palatable cubes.

Just break them to pieces with your bare hands. You're gonna get a stomachache anyways.

Clean up your mess. Pretty much everyone is working in your household so it'll be mighty nice of you to clean up the kitchen as though you were never here to begin with.

Get another plate for your salmon dish. Acknowledge that you probably cooked the salmon all wrong and accept the consequences. Greet your doggy! Hello boy! He woke up from your ruckus and now craves affection. Give him affection.

The oven bings. Food is done! You grab it and go upstairs, but your boy wants to come too. He cannot climb the stairs, so you abandon your food to carry him up to your room.

Go back for the food and plug in your phone.

Don't acknowledge the sudden lack of cheese. An accident happened on the staircase. It was probably a sign that too much cheese was gonna destroy your stomach anyways.

#it tastes like regret #and it looks #AWFUL #don't do this you guys don't #just don't #ohHHhhghjfdks

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alipiee · 6 years

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get to know me tag

tagged by the v lovely and talented @lanaberryrawr ty buddy! <3

Age: 17

Birthplace: England

Current Time: 19:03

Drink You Last Had: lemon green tea

Easiest Person to Talk to: my best friend, my sisters, my mum and @matt-boyd04

Favourite Song: itll probably change in five minutes bc im just listening to george ezras new album on repeat, but so far its one called shotgun,,, its so catchy you guys

Grossest Memory: ok so when i was little, i jokingly stole my brothers bike and he got mad n pushed me off it, and i fell onto the wall that went around our lawn n the bricks cut all my leg and the bike was trapping me, n i was just chilling there crying til my mum rushed out with my brother (i remember she was holding a massive bottle of milk against it after she’d cleaned it bc we didnt have a freezer for a bag of peas or whatever and it was the biggest item we had in our fridge lmao iconic)

Hogwarts House: ive only read the first one and it was in year four so im not sure

In Love: with my friends <3

Jealous of People: i used to be, but im feeling a lot more positive lately and im learning to not compare myself to other people and appreciate what i have! <3 :))

Killed Someone: not even in a story, my heart is too weak for that

Love at First Sight or Should I Walk by you Again: maybe attraction but not love

Middle Name: my legal one is marie, and my catholic is sofia

Number of Siblings: 6 but im the youngest so they all bully look after me

One Wish: to be happy n have time to do everything i want to do in life

Person you Called Last: i dont have any recents in my call log for like over a month?? i have phone anxiety so i just text everyone

Question you are Always Asked: “what (lesson) do we have next?” bc me and my best friend are useless and have to keep checking with each other 16287 times a day lol

Reasons to Smile: yuri on ice, dogs, my family, my friends, to experience love, because theres still so much about the world and life that i can experience, vine compilations

Song you Sang Last: sugarcoat by george ezra bc his new album has watered my crops n im never gonna stop listening to it

Time you Woke Up: like 6am, bc i was babysitting three little kids n they came into the room giggling and started poking my head till i woke up n then crawled into bed and laid on me

Underwear Color: white with blue stripes

Worst Habit: p r o c r a s t i n a t i o n *side eyes my english essay, psychology paper, biology paper, revision, and fic updates*

X-Rays: I broke my leg when i was like four(?) so i had one for that and then my arm a few years later but luckily nothing had broken

Your Favourite Food: either tacos or fajitas!!

Zodiac Sign: virgo

i love oversharing!

tagging: @matt-boyd04 @rollertoasteroflife @postingpebbles @wing--it @iwritebetterthanispeak @shemakesmeforget @undadasea @pork-cutlet-yuuri @beckette-the-turtle @katsuki-skates @loveprez

#tag meme #thank you for tagging me!#this was fun!#as usual no pressure to do it #but the offer is there if you wanna #and even if i didnt tag you and you wanna do it #tag me because i love hearing about your lives!!#<3 <3

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lavenderek · 7 years

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Derek was a very shitty boyfriend in viridian. But other than that I will never disparage the glory that is tutor!verse

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGH. yeah.

this is a cathartic viridian hate post under the cut

yes he was a shitty boyfriend, and his characterization is 1000% unrecognizable as derek hale, i am humiliated that at one point i tried to pin that character’s name on this cardboard cutout of an ~~~awkward~~~~ person. how oblivious do you have to be? who doesn’t notice their actual significant other, who they have been dating for years at that point, not being physically present anymore? who, in this year of our lord 2013 (which is when i shat that thing out onto the internet), loses their phone for, like, weeks, and doesn’t notice. like clearly if stiles was texting him and “jerry” was texting him, this is a form of communication derek was harnessing on the regular lmfao? how was he waking up in the morning? how was “jerry” informing him of their hangouts? how was he keeping in touch with his sister? what did he do when he was pooping? god, what the fuck?

and hey, while we’re at it, stiles was pretty shitty too! in what world does stiles stilinski just, like, waft sadly around and cook his anxiety away? had i never seen the show? where was i getting this shit? there is one thing that is known about stiles’ personality. there is one thing that is undeniable. there is one thing that is explicitly lampshaded throughout the show. stiles is sarcastic. when is he “sarcastic” in this series? he’s not. he says goofy shit sometimes, and that’s it. who is this guy? what does he do? where did he come from?

but then we get to “jerry,” the grand poobah of bullshit. i selected the name “jerry” because it was generic as fuck and i couldn’t be fucked to write a character. “jerry” has no personality and antagonizes stiles for no particular reason, and it’s sort of implied that he does it because he wants to fuck derek? but like! derek has no personality! “jerry” could have fucked literally anyone. he could have fucked a blowup doll and it would have been an identical experience. i don’t even describe derek physically. like, in that fic, i never describe him. you don’t know what he looks like. for all you know, derek in this series could have that benjamin button disease. you never see “jerry” and derek have, like, any conversation. do they even like each other? what do they even talk about?

for that matter, what do derek and stiles talk about? all they ever talk about is the fact that they’re dating. they never just, like, shoot the shit. at least the first installment, which is fuckin’ lousy with “~~~awkward derek googoo gaga” bullshit, has them talk about something other than each other, for all it lasts two sentences.

cheeseburger mac is delicious, though. what i love is that derek just has like half a pound of ground beef just, like, sitting in his fridge lmfao. these are two boys in college, and they both openly admit that neither of them cleans or does the dishes unless stiles is having an anxiety attack, but derek went out at some point and bought a half pound of ground beef and stuck it in the fridge. what was it intended for? when did he buy it? how long had it been in there? who was going to cook it? when? why? how do you end up with, like, incidental ground beef? this is absurd. who wrote this? oh, i remember.

and the best part, actually, is that in order to have anal sex, you have to do a lot of prep beforehand? and most of us just pretend that’s not a thing because we don’t like to think about that stuff, but just knowing that that is reality, that means that stiles had to have, like, given himself an enema before this makeup date. this wasn’t supposed to be a sexy date, this was supposed to be them, like, grabbing dinner and talking through a rough patch. this was makeup sex, and makeup sex is supposed to be spontaneous, and i wrote this like it was spontaneous, but it wasn’t. this is a plothole i ordinarily would give a pass, but not in this case, because it’s not a good fic. it’s just not lmao.

other things i hate about “viridian,” in no particular order:

the class is just called “history.” i was in my second year of college at that point. there is no excuse for naming a college history course “history.”

that last lemon squeeze of schmoopy whining about what derek “would do” if he knew stiles was sad, which - no, he probably wouldn’t have done any of that shit, because he’s not fuckin prince cotton candy charming and stiles isn’t sleeping beauty kissy poo what the fuck

derek’s birthday dinner. they went to chili’s, and who was there? we know stiles was there, and we know “jerry” was there. presumably there are others? maybe? could also just be stiles and “jerry” sitting alone at the table while derek’s in the bathroom. no way of knowing.

yes we get it you watched doctor who one time

i’ve mentioned this before, but the fact that they fucked on the freshly mopped floor of a diner, which is absolutely vile, and after three years working food service, i knew better, which makes it even worse

that scene transition where i didn’t want to deal with “jerry” anymore so i just went “dereks outta time!!! zippo!!!!!!” and had derek literally sprint across town to the diner i’m laughing so hard jesus fucking christ

when i wrote that fic, i was very fragile and very immature, and the fact that it employs everything i hate in a sterek fic aside, it just brings me right back to that intensely embarrassing and miserable stage in my life where i had no sense of subtlety. it was a shitty time of my life and i wasn’t happy, and i hate who i was then, i really do. i made bad decisions and had bad attitudes. i had no idea how to be a good friend to someone. i don’t much like my personality now, but i hate That Me’s personality more.

this plot was self-pitying and whiny. i was obviously projecting my own insecurities about being wanted and my absence being noticed into a fanfiction, and it’s pathetic. like, it’s really just sad. i can’t call it a self insert because i never could decide who i related to lmao, but it definitely is just a cry for help.

like, please don’t misunderstand, i’m truly humbled and grateful that anyone would like something i made; but the fact that this is the thing that it is, makes me froth at the mouth. i feel like i am being flushed down a toilet. i put so much effort and thought into the things i make, dude. i’m not making any claims as to whether any of them are good, i’m just saying that i work on them and only put them up if i think they, like, fit in with the other shit i’ve made. i have a longfic i have been nursing for two years. i take months writing chapters of dyk. even that fuckin tumblr fic i wrote for julie this last christmas took me several rounds of editing. education and viridian were each hammered out in an hour and a half in the library at school while i ditched classes i had paid for, and you can tell! because even “bingo,” which isn’t something i would write now and which i don’t really consider to be very in character, was thoughtfully laid out and treated with some semblance of self-respect.

viridian is shameful pandering. it was me begging for attention. i don’t like it. i’m by no means claiming any of the shit i make is empirically good, seriously, i’m not. i’m just saying that i work on the things i make, and this thing was not worked on. this thing was flung into cyberspace with no thought whatsoever. it’s called “viridian”? because viridian is a shade of green. green for jealousy. yeah. that’s the kind of in-depth planning we’re talking here. but who is jealous??? stiles or “jerry”??????????????????? me. i’m jealous. of people who are talented.

if the eight of y’all still wanna read that thing, go for it. go nuts. and while y’all are doing that, i’m gonna be over here bitching about it.

#wank basically #me @ me from 2013: i don't know her #who is this even #haters

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