#we literally left Manchester and drove straight to London | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

megabasicwitches · 6 years

Text

Sarah's first blog post

My dearest Winnie,

It has struck me recently how much I know we deserve as the best witches in town. We have had some proper SHIT men this year and it's left me wondering in true Bonnie Tyler fashion, where the good men have gone?

So yesterday, you're aware I ventured on a second date with a freemason, EU hating, Tory royalist. When I was on the train back from the date I legit stood there like WOW, is this as good as it gets? Will I ever find anyone sane? I mean, each to their own beliefs but that's too much to handle on a second date hun. Although the activities of the date were lovely; afternoon tea and a walk round a nature reserve, I did think to myself but I wish I was in someone else's company. That company doesn't come in the ginger, man boob package of dodgy ex Tom, but I thought if I could amalgamate several people I've dated I may have found a perfect person....and hopefully that person exists in reality and not just in my head, or on the Sims.

(For the context of people reading this who don't know Tom, there isn't much to say except he's an absolute TWAT. We were together 7 months but it felt like several years. What started off super promising soon went rapidly downhill when I was introduced to his kid and learnt about the 2 engagements he'd had all by the age of 25. People make mistakes but leopards never change their spots. He's a big mistake that will carry on being unbelievably selfish and rude because that's how he fed his pride and ego. People change which is hard to accept but it's a healing process in which I hope I will move on.)

So, I want to take you back 2 years ago to a guy I met who was literally my type on paper. When Tom said to me the best date he'd been on was with his ex Rachel, I stood there and thought actually I don't think Tom and I ever had an amazing date the whole time we were together. I'd exclude Rome in this because that was a holiday, not Tom's idea of a romantic date. I'm not someone who wants to be showered in expensive gifts and be taken to Michelin star restaurants. But the lack of effort with men these days is poor. I mean Tom's idea of a first date was Papa John's at his because it was pouring it down outside and he couldn't be bothered going out into town?! Bonnie hun, I agree with you here that you've got to find a streetwise Hercules who isn't afraid of a bit of rain!

So anyway, I want to introduce you to the first man I went on a tinder date with. Jonny was ridiculously my type- Clark Kent glasses, intelligent but also cheeky and funny. We hit it off straight away. I still remember his opening line to me being ' is your last name Jacobs, because you're a cracker?' I actually found it great he had cheesy lines and it wasn't long before we were arranging a date. Unfortunately, Jonny resided in Sheffield whilst I was in sunny Manchester. He was a lawyer so super busy but HE MADE TIME TO SEE ME. This is a big thing I need to remember. Everyone is busy, but those who care about you make time and don't just slot you in when it's convenient for them. So, he booked a meal at Jamie's Italian one weekday evening and drove from Sheffield to see me in Manchester. I have never been so nervous and apprehensive on a date before. I've also never been as excited when I saw him. We had a great meal followed by drinks and he paid for everything then dropped me back home. When he kissed me, I 1000% felt instant chemistry. He kept saying he wished he lived nearer to me so I could go back to his and I would have jumped on that chance there and then.

At this time I was dogsitting for my neighbour. I remember I went round after the date at like 10pm to check on them. I actually talked to the dogs about how nice he was! Sad but true story hun.

So, I saw Jonny a further 2 times after that. I went to Sheffield both times as I was living at home in between uni and so didn't have a place of my own to take him to. We actually just spent those weekends I saw him in bed together. I think my biggest regret is that I actually never had sex with him. I don't know why. We did other things but I was on guard thinking I want to sleep with him when I know he wants to make it 'exclusive'. I don't think I've ever felt as confident, comfortable and wanted before. He was super patient and understanding and we'd just sit and laugh the day away. Honestly, I never wanted to leave him and he'd feel the same. It felt like I'd know him forever and I felt I could grow to trust this man. However, as with all romantic escapades it unfortunately didn't last. He had to move to London as he'd been offered a better job. I knew from then it wouldn't really work. He tried to suggest when we could meet up but he had meetings in different cities which were never close to me. When he rang me to talk about it, I knew it was for the best but we just kept saying how much we liked each other too. We talked amicably for a bit after that and I still have him on social media but I never feel compelled to check on his life. I noticed he now has a girlfriend and it didn't bother me because it was a few years back. I honestly hope he's enjoying his life and living it up as a lawyer. I think I would refer to him at the one who got away...I do sometimes wonder how different my life would have been had he stayed up north.

The one big positive I took from it was this guy tried to make time for me. He'd ring me inbetween working and he'd drive from his sister's in York back to Sheffield just to see me. His life was hectic as both his sister's are unwell. This guy is someone who I then modelled my future dates off. If they didn't make time for me and if I didn't feel that instant buzz of excitement, I knew it wasn't for me.

Honestly, I don't even think Tom really made me feel excited about a date. Even at the start, I'd not felt as comfortable and confident with him. In fact, I constantly felt on edge. I never felt 100% reassured because he never 100% reassured me. And I think we all want to know someone will be there for us through thick and thin. Jonny taught me that if a guy really likes you, they'll juggle everything around to make time for you. They'll drive to the ends of the earth just to see you for a few hours. They'll be begging you to stay and be sad to see you leave. They'll be ringing you and messaging you to check up on how your day has been. They'll make you feel giddy and also so secure. I never doubted whilst we were seeing each other that he was messaging other girls/ meeting up with them. Whilst I was with Tom, he was messaging his ex for a 'catch up.' That speaks volumes.

I guess I knew like with Jonny, Tom and I had our time together and it would rapidly end. But with Jonny I knew it wouldn't end bitterly. Even though you know I thought about ending it with Tom on a few occasions because of how miserable he made me, I stuck it out because I thought if I made an effort it would prove how much I cared. To every woman who hopefully reads this, don't chase men. Don't plead them and beg. I did it and I didn't even recognise myself. Find a guy who will move mountains for you and try everything to be with you.

For you dearest Winnie, you also deserve a guy who'll come see you and not moan about what music we play in the car on the way to ASDA. You deserve a guy who'll sing ABBA tunes with you and sweep you off your feet. The heroes are still out there, they may just take some time to find.

Farewell for now, mortal bus gal,

Sarah xo

#dating #men #selfworth #bonnietyler #realheroes

#dating #men #selfworth #bonnietyler #realheroes #dates #singlelife #blog #diary #basicwitch

1 note · View note