#was tryna calm myself and how better than with these gays

[lightasthesun]

Falling in love with his General wasn't something Cody had ever anticipated. Perhaps such feelings were expected for someone like Bly, who, between training sessions, always daydreamed of a life beyond Kaminoan drills. And lo and behold, it did happen for Bly—with his Jedi General, no less. However, for Cody, it was an unforeseen turn of events, to say the least.

Although, in a way, it made sense.

Obi-Wan Kenobi represented a steadfastness in everything he did that had Cody continuously pondering the man's true durability when the war began. The high standards his General held for himself seemed primarily limited to his own person and dealings with the Senate, rather than extending to those closest to him, such as Skywalker or Commander Tano. Unbelievably, the Clones under his command had been included in that category as well.

When it came to those Obi-Wan Kenobi cared about, he was lenient, kind, and understanding. That aside, Cody also knew him to be generous and smart, a tactical genius on the battlefield. Kenobi was singular, a true asset on the frontline. But beyond his work morale and leadership prowess, he showed value in true friendship. High General Obi-Wan Kenobi gave Cody purpose, and so Cody, in turn, gave him trust, sacrifice, and devotion that transcended the chains of command.

By now, of course, Cody had become intimately familiar with Kenobi's every bodily expression. He knew how to read between the lines on his face and discern the subtle crinkles of his crow's feet. There was his General and Master Kenobi, and somewhere deeply buried underneath all the responsibilities and regulations of his executive positions stood one man with his hands stretched towards the sky, upholding the galaxy by stubbornness alone.

It took Cody a couple of months to come to this realization, but come to him, it did. Now he could gauge whether the General was in good spirits or not by the minuscule twitch of his eyebrows and by noting the number of tea cups consumed at the end of a cycle.

Cody knew Kenobi down to his very core; he had built his foundation around the man. If there ever would be a time after the war for him, Cody knew he'd spend the rest of his days forming that foundation into a home.

#wrote a lil something?? #was tryna calm myself and how better than with these gays #codywan #obi wan kenobi #commander cody #fanfiction #star wars fic #codywan fanfic #ann writes

[bluecloudious]

Kinda angst I guess (but it has Zanaz so take that with a grain of salt)

Trying out writing a story this time.

I mean, yeah, I wrote for the comics, but not long dialog.

So yea, as per both the funni boys mature content warning. (There's no canoodling, there is talk of it tho.)

Also there's quite a bit of text (8 pages worth on Word)

So ye:

“Get up, I have some juicy gossip for you.”

...What?

I open my eyes and the world around me is blinding. It’s so bright that it takes a second to adjust to it. There’s nothing around me other than vast white and empty space.

This definitely isn’t Nevada anymore. (Unless Hank managed to ruin everything even further somehow.)

“Get up now, I know you heard me.”

I get up and look around. Who the hell is talking? There’s literally nothing but white for miles.

“I’m in your head, pretty boy.”

Uh, that…

“I’m holding my eyes closed, don’t worry. I regret ever having them open in here, in fact.”

Welp, that answers that. Now for the other question.

“Who I am is not important. What info I have, may be of interest, though.”

Alright?

“There’s a deal attached to this knowledge, Zanaz. Hear me out before you start fidgeting.”

I’ll sure try.

“You know Kits, right?”

No duh, he’s my best friend.

“Excellent. He’s going to die soon.”

…

What?! Wha, when, how, uh--

“Calm down, jitterbug. There’s nothing you can do to stop his fate, so don’t try. If he doesn’t die one way, another thing will go wrong. Understand?”

I-- NO! What the fuck?! Are you gonna kill him?!

“No, not me. I’m just sharing the news.”

Yeah, right, sure. Fucking… When then?

“Soon.”

How soon? In a month, week or a few days?

“Hm… A month then, give or take.”

...Fuck… How?

“Depends on what leads up to it.”

So, there are a lot of different ways it can happen, right?

“Indeed there are.”

...Do I die with him?

“No.”

NO?! In none of the different variations, I don’t die by his side?

“Oh, you can be by his side, of course. But death isn’t after you.”

What if I try to block a bullet, but it goes through both of us.

“Oddly specific. You’ll still survive.”

What if I block it with my head?!

“Brain damage, possible vegetable state. Will still survive though.”

What if Hank slices us with one of his multiple katanas?!

“People have lived through being sliced in half before.”

WHAT.

“This world has zombie clowns with god like powers and the AAHW is lead by a man consisting of black fire.”

...Ugh, fair enough. So… Wait those are all possible deaths for him?

“If you do everything in your power for it to happen, then yes.”

I… I can kill him before his time?

“Of course! You have free will, don’t you? It’s more of a question if you want to.”

Of course I fucking don’t! I care about him!

“I saw. You daydream about him an uncomfortable amount.”

He’s the main person I’m around, give me a break!

“Have you ever considered not being horny?”

Until I’m castrated, there’ll be nothing of the sorts.

“You’re not even fertile! None of the clones are!”

You think I’m tryna get anyone pregnant at this sausage fest? Besides, that has not stopped me before.

“I refuse to believe that any of those scenes I saw play out in your head happened for real.”

You’d be surprised then.

“WHICH?!?”

Those are for me to treasure.

“...You’re pulling my leg.”

Believe what you want.

“Augh, never mind, TMI. Back onto the topic at hand.”

Oh, yeah, right. Kit… Dying…

Could you for real not give me a date?

“If it depends on the circumstances beforehand, then there’s no possible way to tell which one belongs to this timeline.”

And that means…?

“I don’t know how this Kits dies.”

Can I at least warn him?

“Well, there’s where the other side of the deal comes in. If you tell him, then the effect kicks in immediately.”

What effect? Death?

“Precisely.”

...Ah. Wait, so if I don’t tell him, he dies in a month but if I do, he dies immediately? Of what?

“Stroke, heart attack or brain aneurysm. Chosen at random. Oh, also sneak assassination. That’s also a valid option.”

...This feels set up.

“Mh?”

This feels like either you or whoever sent you here set this up so I’d suffer. You enjoy the pain of others, don’t you?

“I’m only the messen--”

Yeah, yeah, Messenger Bullshit. Then whoever decided this is probably a reality tv producer, who is jacking off to someone pushing in the soft part of a baby’s skull as we speak. You encourage such behaviour by working with them, ya know.

“...Do you think you sound smart?”

I know for a fact I’m not, so no. I’m pretty sure I’m on the money with this one though.

“If I wasn’t here then Kits’ death would come as a surprise to you though!”

I’d prefer that, actually! Now I have to deal with knowing that he… He… Won’t be here anymore soon.

“Well, knowing how overwhelmingly perverted you are, wouldn’t you wanna grab this opportunity?”

...What?

“Shoot your shot, ask him out. Not like you could do it with a corpse… …Right…?”

I may be horny, but I’m not messed up.

“Had to make sure.”

Ugh, you’re just making fun of me, aren’t you?

“Which instance are you referring to?”

Kit would never date me.

“And why exactly do you think that?”

He has standards?

“You’re a decently handsome fellow. You also get along with him just fine.”

That… That’s not a determinant of shit like that. There’s way better out there for him.

“He won’t meet em then. Only a month to live, remember?”

I… It’s not worth it.

“What isn’t?”

I know he’ll say no, there’s no point in trying.

“How do you know for sure until you actually ask?”

Cause it’s obvious! He’s actually got a brain in his noggin and he knows me way too well! He’d be fucking disgusted, man! We’re just friends and that’s that.

“Do you not want to then?”

...Why do you assume I do? How do you know that those aren’t just blissful fantasies like the rest of them?

“He’s the only one that you dream of in a non-perverted way. I see no other person in this graphic landscape that you want to hold hands with. (Also, I am closing my eyes again now, Jebus Christoff.)”

...Ffffuck.

“Well, did hit the nail on the head?”

Y-You’re stupid and gay!

“I’m rubber, you’re glue.”

That doesn’t affect me, I’m already openly gay and stupid!

“I guess we’re both such then.”

Dammit.

“So, you gonna give him a month to remember or not?”

…Eh?

“Come on, how much romance could a member of the A.A.H.W. really experience throughout their lifetime? If you’d make this month worth his and your own time, perhaps it would be less painful to see him go? At least he died happy?”

THAT WOULD BE EXTRA PAINFUL FOR ME, THOUGH!

“Oop, Zanaz selfish, you heard it here first, folks.”

That’s not what I meant. I’d already be upset over losing my best friend, imagine how fucking devastating losing a sweetheart would be.

“…I dunno, still sounds selfish to me. Does his happiness not mean anything to you?”

Who says he’d be happy with me?

“I know you want to make him happy, at least. You dream about his smile.”

STOP FUCKING LOOKING THOUGH MY THOUGHTS!!

“I’m not looking anymore, I just memorized the ones I already saw. (I wish I couldn’t.)”

I- You- Fucking-- UggHHH! It’s not worth it!

“What exactly do you imagine will happen if you tell him how you feel, huh? World combusts?”

I already told you, he already knows way too much about me! He’d be fucking grossed out and we’ll… We’ll stop being friends.

He’d quicken his pace whenever we’d have to pass each other in one of the halls. He’d desperately keep his glance away from me. He’d… I’d stop being the main person he talks and comes to company for a-and I can’t fucking have that, man!

I-I wouldn’t be able to handle it. He means too much to me.

“…I had no idea you were this insecure.”

FUCK OFF! It’s a bitter reality that I’ve come to accept!

“You haven’t even given it a shot!”

You don’t need to get crushed by a piano to know you’d die on impact!

“Those two things don’t correlate even remotely!”

It’s a metaphor!

“I know that, I’m saying that Kits has a thing for you too!”

…He what?

“He has major league crush on you! The things you say when play-flirting excite him! He’s gotten off to the thought of you touching him up! The works! (Why did I word it like that?)”

Whuh-- How the fuck do you know this??

“While you were monologuing, I visited his subconscious and confirmed it for myself.”

You can do that??

“You don’t even know my name.”

...Fair nuff. So, wait, he’s actually gotten off thinking about me?

“I don’t even need to open my eyes to already know you’re imagining it. Short answer, yes. He’s into you, Zanaz.”

Augh, I dunno what to do with this info. It’s kinda... Overwhelming in a way.

Actually, wait, how do I know you haven’t been lying to me this whole time?

“I’m an incorporeal voice in your head that’s having a back and forth with you in a white void.”

Yeah, and?

“…I’m supernatural?”

Yeah, and?

“Come on! I just know, okay?!”

Sounds fake, not gonna lie.

“The part where I knew that Kits was gonna die was convincing, but the moment I mention that he might have a thing for you, you question the validity of my claims thus far??”

One sounds way more far-fetched than the other, you gotta admit.

“NO IT DOESN’T?!?!”

For you maybe! I’ve known him since I’ve been out the cloning tube! We became agents together! I think I’d know what kinda stuff is off the table for him, buddy.

“Well, not only are you wrong, you’re in denial.”

I am not!

“Then try it! Just attempt asking him out! In the very least, you’ll remain friends after. I promise you. Cross my heart and all that jazz.”

…

…You’re absolutely positive? You are also the person that told me he’d die in a month’s time.

“A hundred percent positive. I have never been more sure of anything in my life.”

You have a life?

“Unfortunately. So, you’ll do it?”

Why’re you so adamant about me fucking Kits?

“Affgdgfdgfg, it’s not about you fucking him, it’s you making his last living month worthwhile!”

Okay, so, why do you want me to do that?

“…Do you not??”

I mean, I guess that sounds worth my time. But you didn’t answer my question.

“Sorry for assuming that you want the person you’re madly in love with to be happy, I guess??”

Apology accepted. Now, how do I get outta here?

“Ugh, just wake up.”

Whu--

And I’m sitting up in my own mat, back at the facility. The clock shows that it’s early morning.

What the fuck do I make of what I just saw? Or heard, for that matter? It clearly wasn’t a normal dream, I never remember those. Plus the topic tends to blur together usually.

I gotta tell-- Wait, I can’t do that, fuck.

…

It’s way to early for shit like this, man!!

Augh…

#It's got pictures <:) #OC #Madness combat #I took my time with this one and like how it came out #Augh I had to even edit the text and shit on Tumblr... #I be like *gives Zanaz even more personality* #KitZan

[showmeahero-a]

     starter sentences drawn from taylor swift’s 7th studio                                                 album, lover ( 2019 )

adjust as needed to fit your muse.

how many days did i spend thinking ‘bout how you did me wrong?

i forgot that you existed

i thought that it would kill me, but it didn’t

it isn’t love, it isn’t hate, it’s just indifference

i would’ve stuck around for ya, would’ve fought the whole town

devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

what doesn’t kill me makes me want you more

it’s a cruel summer

no rules in breakable heaven

we’ll just screw it up in these trying times

said ‘i’m fine,’ but it wasn’t true

i don’t wanna keep secrets just to keep you

for whatever it’s worth, i love you, ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?

we could leave the christmas lights up ‘til january ; this is our place, we make the rules

there’s a dazzling haze, a mysterious way about you, dear

have i known you twenty seconds or twenty years?

can i go where you go?

can we always be this close, forever & ever?

you’re my lover

i’m highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

i’ve loved you [number] summers now, honey, but i want ‘em all

my heart’s been borrowed & yours has been blue, all’s well that ends well to end up with you

when everyone believes ya, what’s that like?

i’m so sick of running as fast as i can, wondering if i’d get there quicker if i was a man

i’m so sick of them coming at me again

if i was a man, i’d be the man

what’s it like to brag about raking in dollars, & getting bitches & models?

if i was out flashing my dollars, i’d be a bitch, not a baller

i’m ready for combat

i say i don’t want that, but what if i do?

i’ve got a hundred thrown-out speeches i almost said to you

help me hold on to you

i’ve been the archer, i’ve been the prey ; who could ever leave me, darling, but who could stay?

i cut off my nose just to spite my face, then hate my reflection for years & years

i wake in the night, i pace like a ghost, the room is on fire, invisible smoke

all of my heroes die all alone

they see right through me

all the king’s horses, all the king’s men, couldn’t put me together again, ‘cause all of my enemies started out friends

no one understands

i want you

i ain’t gotta tell him, i think he knows

when we get all alone, i’ll make myself at home & he’ll want me to stay

he’d better lock it down or i won’t stick around, ‘cause good ones never wait

so where we gonna go?

you know i adore you, i’m crazier for you than i was at 16

i counted days, i counted miles to see you there

it’s you & me, that’s my whole world

she’s a bad, bad girl

the whole school is rolling fake dice

you play stupid games, you win stupid prizes

voted most likely to run away with you

you are the only one who seems to care

i’m feeling helpless

boys will be boys, then where are the wise men?

darling, i’m scared

i don’t want you to go, i don’t really wanna fight

i think you should come home

this is a fight that someday we’re gonna win

i wake up in the night & watch you breathe

kiss me once ‘cause you know i had a long night, kiss me twice ‘cause it’s gonna be alright, three times ‘cause i waited my whole life

i like shiny things, but i’d marry you with paper rings

you’re the one i want

i hate accidents, except when we went from friends to this

without all the exes, fights, & flaws, we wouldn’t be standing here so tall

i want to drive away with you

wrap your arms around me

i rent a place on [street name]

we were a fresh page on the desk, filling in the blanks as we go

i hope i never lose you, hope it never ends ; i’d never walk [street name] again

that’s the kind of heartbreak time could never mend

baby, i get mystified by how this city screams your name

i’m so terrified of if you ever walk away

back when we were card sharks, playing games, i thought you were leading me on

saying goodbye is death by a thousand cuts

i get drunk, but it’s not enough ‘cause the morning comes & you’re not my baby

i look through the windows of this love, even though we boarded them up

i can’t pretend it’s okay when it’s not

i ask the traffic lights if it’ll be alright, they say, ‘i don’t know’

what once was ours is no one’s now

you said it was a great love, one for the ages, but if the story’s over, why am i still writing pages?

tryna find a part of me that you didn’t touch

gave up on me like i was a bad drug, now i’m searching for signs in a haunted club

quiet my fears with the touch of your hand, paper cut stings from our paper-thin plans

gave you so much but it wasn’t enough

it’ll be alright, it’s just a thousand cuts

they say home is where the heart is, but that’s not where mine lives

darling, i fancy you

i guess all the rumors are true

don’t threaten me with a good time

just wanna be with you

i didn’t tell you i was scared

desperate people find faith, so now i pray to jesus, too

soon you’ll get better, ‘cause you have to

i know delusion when i see it in the mirror

i just pretend it isn’t real

i hate to make this all about me, but who am i supposed to talk to?

what am i supposed to do if there’s no you?

we were crazy to think that this could work

remember how i said i’d die for you?

we were stupid to jump in the ocean separating us

i can’t talk to you when you’re like this, staring out the window like i’m not your favorite town ; i’m new york city

they all warned us about times like this

they say the road gets hard & you get lost when you’re led by blind faith, but we might just get away with it

religion’s in your lips

even if it’s a false god, we’d still worship this love

i know heaven’s a thing, i go there when you touch me

hell is when i fight with you, but we can patch it up good

damn, it’s 7 am

hey, are you okay?

i ain’t tryna mess with your self-expression, but i learned a lesson that stressin’ & obsessin’ ‘bout somebody else is no fun

you need to calm down

can you just not step on my gown?

you just need to take several seats, & then try to restore the peace & control your urges to scream about all the people you hate

shade never made anybody less gay

we all know now, we all got crowns

i blew things out of proportion, now you’re blue, put you in jail for something you didn’t do

fighting with a true love is boxing with no gloves

why’d i have to break what i love so much?

it’s all me, in my head, i’m the one who burned us down

it’s not what i meant

sorry that i hurt you

i don’t wanna lose this with you

meet me in the afterglow

i lived like an island, punished you with silence, went off like sirens, just crying

tell me that you’re still mine

tell me that we’ll be just fine

tell me that it’s not my fault

tell me that i’m all you want

i promise that you’ll never find another like me

i know that i’m a handful, baby, i know i never think before i jump

there’s a lot of cool chicks out there

baby doll, when it comes to a lover, i promise that you’ll never find another like me

i’m the only one of me ; baby, that’s the fun of me

you’re the only one of you ; baby, that’s the fun of you

i promise that nobody’s gonna love you like me

i know i tend to make it about me, i know you never get just what you see, but i will never bore you, baby

there’s a lot of lame guys out there

i never wanna see you walk away

there ain’t no ‘i’ in team, but you know there is a ‘me’

you can’t spell ‘awesome’ without ‘me’

wanna hang out?

it’s nice to have a friend

something gave you the nerve to touch my hand

my love was as cruel as the cities i lived in

there are so many lines that i’ve crossed unforgiven

i’ll tell you the truth, but never goodbye

i don’t wanna look at anything else now that i saw you

i don’t wanna think of anything else now that i thought of you

i’ve been sleeping so long in a 20-year dark night, & now i see daylight

luck of the draw only draws the unlucky, & so i became the butt of the joke

i wounded the good & i trusted the wicked ; clearing the air, i breathed in the smoke

i once believed love would be black & white, but it’s golden

i once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden like daylight

you gotta step into the daylight & let it go

i wanna be defined by the things i love, not the things that i hate, or the things i’m afraid of, or the things that haunt me in the middle of the night

you are what you love

#y'all knew this was coming #i've had this drafted & ready for days #( mine. ) #( memes. )

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: [Comes to find her like we said and sees what he sees but they don't see him because not hanging around to watch boy I'm not letting you] Buster: You need to be in Rio: Oh Rio: okay Rio: why though Buster: 🎂 Rio: Didn't have you down as an emoji kinda guy, McKenna Rio: be right there Buster: Full of surprises, you'd know that if you knew me Buster: Stop fantasizing about how I type & come the fuck on Rio: You wanna have a catch-up? Rio: Cute Rio: It ain't your birthday or cake, calm down Buster: I reckon you've got your hands full but I can't blame you for wanting it Buster: Much better offer, like Rio: Ha Rio: Sure Rio: just that talented, babe Buster: One of you has to be, I guess Buster: Christ knows he ain't it Rio: You two met before? Rio: Really are full of surprises, fair play Buster: Met his type about as often as you have Buster: & I saw what I saw, Cavante Buster: Miss me with your behind the bike shed bullshit next time, school's out for summer Buster: You could at least have the decency to keep things hot Rio: Weren't expecting an audience Rio: What the fuck 😂 Buster: Clearly Rio: And oddly enough, even if we was, you ain't the 🎯 demographic Buster: Like I said, you've got your hands too full to handle me Buster: I don't do triangles Rio: So traditional, love that for you Buster: I got the looks for a teen drama, but this ain't one Buster: Save your drama for your boring boyfriend Rio: You so obviously love drama though Rio: so pressed, babe but I put him down, you can go hit him up now 💋 Rio: [showing up for this cake 'cos otherwise rude] Buster: You obviously know me so well Buster: Not like you got the wrong twin there Buster: Understandable, the coming out party was pretty lowkey Rio: Nah, he's definitely not her type Rio: I'm up to date, see Buster: He definitely ain't mine either, so nah, you ain't Buster: Do you not get pretty boys around here unless they're decked in rainbow flags? Explains the choice you made there with that one Rio: It's a bummer no one thought to invite these pretty boys for you Rio: but you know, is granddad's bday so don't think they were high on the guestlist Rio: what you gonna do, eh Buster: It's alright, you can watch me survive it & tell yourself that's why you keep looking at me Rio: Oh my God Rio: your ego 😂 Buster: It's big, yeah Buster: But if you wanna measure it, probably gonna have to wait until after the cake's been cut Buster: Like you said, it's Granddad's moment Rio: [Audibly laughs] Rio: You're funny, McKenna Buster: [A look like 😏] Rio: Is she actually out then Buster: Ask her yourself Buster: She'll proudly tell you Rio: How'd that go Rio: like at School Buster: Do you want my answer or hers? Buster: 'Cause the lads fucking loved it but her 🎯 demographic, less so Rio: Typical Rio: I'll talk to her later Rio: pry her away from my brother/the corner they're hiding in Buster: She'll say it's fine if she says fuck all Buster: You know that Rio: Probably Rio: but I'm easy to talk to Buster: You're funny Rio: You know I am Rio: can but try, McKenna Buster: Easy to make people laugh when you're a kid Buster: Gotta try harder these days Buster: But you know that, yeah? Rio: I was referring to the easy to talk to bit but thanks Rio: You were never this nice Rio: the effort's appreciated Buster: Easy, for sure Buster: I was trying not to make that cheap of a shot seeing as it's a celebration & all but Buster: Since you're so appreciative of my efforts, don't need to hold back, like Rio: Keep dreaming, boy Buster: It should be your nightmare Buster: But I'm only passing through so none of my business if that's a rep you wanna maintain Rio: No one's talking about what I'm thinking Rio: you're the one betraying yourself but go off Buster: That I want you to have your transformative hot girl summer, yeah sure Buster: That's what a supportive family is for Rio: You're such a bullshitter Rio: Who you fooling, no one here Buster: Of course I am Buster: Haven't signed myself up for Truth or Dare yet, unlucky for you Rio: Gross Rio: Supportive family, remember Rio: don't get your roles confused Buster: That was bullshit, remember? Buster: You want me to be real with you, babe Buster: We don't know each other like that, sorry Rio: Heartbreaking Rio: or just boring Buster: You love to be bored though, so you're welcome Rio: Where'd you hear that Buster: I saw it Buster: There's no way to convince me that boyfriend of yours is anything but Rio: We don't know each other like that Rio: let alone knowing anything about him or what I love Buster: Well done for fooling him but you'd have to try harder to attempt it with me Buster: Got that first rate education working in my favour for one thing Buster: Don't just see what I wanna, for another Rio: Let's hope that's true Rio: for both our sakes Rio: begs the question why you are still looking but you can write an essay on it if you get homesick Buster: Amateurish to rely on hope, but you clearly are so I can't expect better Buster: Why do you care where I look or don't, is the real question Rio: When it's at me, it's my business Buster: You've changed your tune, I was all heart eyes for him when it suited you to play that way before Rio: Can you blame me for wanting it to be that Rio: should've run with it Buster: If you need me to be gay to make this easier that's your problem Buster: You should learn self control Buster: Your boyfriend clearly has some, or it's worse than I feared and he's not holding back at all, that's just all there is Rio: Yeah, that's what I meant Rio: Sorry you want an encore but that ain't happening for you, babe Buster: Yeah, I desperately wanna see that again Buster: I already know what not to do, but cheers Rio: I know Rio: This party is a bit of a let-down but did we expect anything better Rio: super glad to hear you've learnt something worth learning from your first rate education, btw Buster: You wish, but show me something better & I'll consider turning my head, like Buster: Until then it's just cake & candles Buster: Pass it on to my parents if you see them, they'll appreciate the validation of the single good choice they've made recently, I'm sure Rio: No one's trying to turn your head, McKenna Rio: Would but then I'd have to regale them of how I know you didn't always know what not to do and no one needs to relive that, least of all me Buster: Like you said, it's a shit party Buster: Oh so reliving it every night's too much for you? Shame. I'd have reckoned on you having more stamina Rio: Yeah, you wanna pay for my therapy? Rio: The night terrors are really draining Buster: As long as you make sure to tell 'em how you used to follow me around everywhere Buster: You know, the real facts Rio: Excuse you Rio: No I never 😂 Rio: this is my town, you were following me Buster: Is your memory always this selective or just when you wanna save face? Buster: You're the one who is and was desperate for a repeat performance Rio: If only Rio: then I could forget you ever said that Rio: have to go get a drink and try my best instead, eurgh Buster: I don't need to be told how unforgettable I am, babe Buster: I hear it all the time Rio: And I'm the one who's bored Rio: sounds like a riot Buster: I never said I wasn't Buster: I'm here, of course I am Rio: Yeah who wouldn't wanna rush on back to that Buster: I know you'll miss me but like I said, only a quick visit Rio: Been doing just fine with the schedule we had, you know Rio: let's not see each other again for another however many years if we can, tah Buster: If you were you wouldn't feel the need to tell me Buster: This convo can end any time if you're really that fine about it Rio: You're so up yourself Rio: I'm being polite, how families do, at least some of the time Buster: What would you say if you weren't being polite, how much of a cunt I am? Buster: Sounds like more fun if I can be honest at least once Rio: You've already had your turn Rio: remember Rio: ain't my fault you went with the lowest hanging fruit Buster: All I remember is lying through my teeth since I got here Buster: How families do Rio: You can try again if you reckon you can do better Buster: I can always do better Rio: Go on then Buster: I don't reckon kissing you would go down too well with the rest of the fam Buster: But if you wanna meet me outside, say when Rio: Umm we were talking about being honest Buster: What do you want me to be honest about? Rio: Well you said you could do better than 'easy' but did you actually think I wanted you to kiss me, what the fuck Buster: Bold of you to assume I've spent any time thinking about what you want Buster: There's no need when you make it so obvious Rio: You're cracked Rio: there's easy then there's that Buster: Protest some more & it might actually reach your eyes next time you look at me, like Rio: So you're actually delusional, cool Rio: Bet your shrink is soooo much an hour, yeah? Buster: If I had one he would be Buster: Or better yet, she would be Buster: But I'm the well-adjusted twin Buster: Evil but able to own it, you know Rio: Of course Rio: your own self-assessment doesn't reek of narcissism at all, babe 😂 Buster: It ain't my fault the world was set up to revolve around me Buster: A hot as fuck white lad with money & education ain't gonna hate himself, sorry about it Rio: Yeah, put it in Latin and that's the Tory tagline Rio: ain't thick, McKenna Buster: A calidum album et irrumabo iniecit puero pecuniam & educationem est non amet odio ipsum, contristari super eo Rio: [Lols again] Buster: [is again 😏 but there's more a genuine grin vibe to it] Rio: [goes off with her mans for ages] Buster: [change that to 😒 but more subtly] Buster: [When you're lowkey drinking too much even though you are but a child] Rio: [coming back and getting some drinks] Buster: [A look because he's his father's son] Rio: [just like 'hey!' 'cos you tryna be nonchalant but the look threw you a bit like okay] Buster: [when you walk off cos you're that rude] Rio: Charm 101 next year, is it Buster: My mum's written me a note to get me out of it Buster: [When you're trying to get your parents attention like can we leave but its a no go] Rio: The list of perks truly is neverending Buster: Yeah Buster: Maybe they'll adopt you if you keep asking nicely Buster: 3 kids was the dream Rio: Your least favourite number, so Rio: stick with being number one of my family, #2 Buster: If you ever wanna have a meeting of the golden children, you know where I live Rio: Slainte Rio: [raises her glass from across the room] Buster: [Doesn't raise his because dickhead but does down his drink obvs] Rio: Wow don't wish death on me with such abandon, people start to reckon you don't like me or something Buster: This family's worst kept secret, like Rio: Nah, reckon you've got plenty of competition for that one Rio: not even juicy, like Buster: Sarcasm's really lost on you, isn't it? Buster: That an Irish thing or a you thing Rio: You're a letter short Buster: Hilarious Rio: Not really Rio: Ha Buster: I know you've got a shit lad on your arm but don't scrap the barrel even lower Buster: There'll be fuck all left of it Rio: Why do you reckon he's so shit Buster: I have an awareness of my surroundings Buster: Not to mention senses that work Rio: No one's gonna ask you to fuck him, it's alright Buster: He might, but as we established, not a fucking gay Rio: Trust me, neither is he Buster: I'm thrilled for you Buster: Compatibility wise you've got that one thing locked down Rio: 💘 Rio: should cuff him now, is what you're saying Rio: thanks Buster: Yeah, that's my resounding advice Buster: It's worked out so well for so many members of this fam Rio: Ikr Rio: just want an invite to my child wedding Rio: any excuse to be back in the homeland Buster: Only if there's a free bar or money behind it Rio: fucking tightarse Rio: you put money behind it and you don't have to get me too many gifts Buster: I'm not paying to drown my sorrows 'cause I'm at a family function where you're the centre of attention Buster: Fuck that Rio: Please Rio: you love it Rio: sit you at the table with all the other broken-hearted boys Buster: You wish Buster: You don't need a table for a couple of lads, bar stools will do Rio: Easy, remember Rio: real loss for the entire community Rio: have to get out the plastic garden chairs and everything Buster: Why they ain't broken hearted, they got what they wanted without needing to marry you Buster: Keep up Rio: You wanna keep up with how good I am Rio: alas, dear cousin Buster: You wanna be in the same league as me more like Buster: It was cute when we were little but you need to get over it now Rio: Nah, the whole public schoolboy thing is not my scene but I'm happy for you that it's not giving you mad trauma Rio: nice to have fond school memories Buster: You wanna try that again? Make it more believable Rio: What can I say? Rio: Too nice, me Rio: as discussed Buster: What can I say? Buster: More fool you Rio: Hardly sat here taking it personal, babe Buster: Good to know Rio: Like you care Buster: I don't Buster: I thought that was obvious by now Rio: If you didn't you wouldn't feel the need to tell me Rio: Bless Buster: If you could pick up on anything, I wouldn't have to Buster: But here we are, still chatting away Rio: Shit party, like I said Buster: Shit lad, like I said Rio: So? Rio: The wedding isn't actually in the Spring, you know Buster: So don't you want someone who can hold your attention Rio: Don't we all, McKenna Rio: what's your point Buster: What's the matter, not as irresistible as you front? Buster: If you can get any lad, get a better one Rio: That's about holding their attention, not mine Rio: that's easy Buster: You could have it all Buster: That should be easy if you ain't full of shit Rio: All lads are boring Rio: 'til you grow up, which something doesn't happen 'til you're like 50, if ever Buster: Become a gay along with my sister then Rio: You're alright, thanks Buster: You come at me with a problem, I offer you a solution Buster: What families do Rio: Aside from the blindingly obvious fact that girls hold my attention even less Rio: but pat yourself on the back, have at it Buster: You're alright Rio: Mhmm Buster: Are you really not gonna offer to return the favour? Buster: Bullshit are you polite Rio: What's your problem then? Rio: Aside from the obvious, which is what the shrink is for, you're welcome Buster: The obvious being what, according to you? Rio: Oh honey Rio: he's not that boring Rio: we'll be here 'til the next birthday/anniversary/bullshit holiday Buster: [laughs himself] Rio: [when you get to be a lil 😏] Buster: [when you getting drunk on the low, sorry everyone] Rio: Hope you learnt how to handle your drink better than that time we stole that bottle of Rio: what even was it, from the pub and you spewed everywhere Rio: that was grim Buster: I was a kid & it was brandy Buster: The odds were against me Rio: 😂 Rio: we were all kids and you really gave us away Rio: still can't with that smell Buster: Fuck you Buster: You said you'd look after me Buster: Don't take up nursing, yeah? Rio: Don't hold it against me like I knew you'd be redecorating the walls before we were even halfway through Rio: I'm so caring Rio: but the uniform ain't as cute as they let on so I won't Buster: It only looked that bad to you 'cause you were seeing it in triple Rio: Never felt so sick since Rio: should've put me off for life by rights Buster: It put me off for a summer Buster: Felt like fucking ages Rio: Alright, you tiny alcoholic Buster: What can I say? I'm obviously a glutton for punishment Buster: Why I'm talking to you still Rio: Ew Rio: People you can see for that too, McKenna Rio: just don't get your appointments confused Buster: It ain't something I wanna change, but cheers Rio: They don't change it, silly Buster: Or chat bullshit about then, whatever Buster: You know what I meant Rio: Don't act like you don't know what I mean Rio: not that sweet and innocent Rio: your search history is no doubt littered with what I mean Buster: Not at all sweet or innocent, but you've made it clear you don't wanna know Rio: Have I Buster: A lesser man would've taken offense at being called cracked Rio: You actually talk like you're from the 1800s Rio: it's ace Buster: That's basically the first thing that school teaches Buster: You should go if you're that into it Rio: No hiding the accent Rio: you don't sound like scum Rio: or the colour Rio: bet you have like Saudi princes and that's your diversity checked Buster: They don't all sound as hot as me though & they ain't all allowed to be white or male, that'd be a lawsuit Buster: No princes but me, alas Rio: 😂 Rio: What's the point then Rio: not leaving Dublin for less Buster: I can't say I'm gutted Rio: You've said plenty weirder Rio: cracked, remember, I know I said that for a reason but I forgot Buster: I can't say it 'cause I would be gutted to have to go to school with you Buster: It'd be well distracting Rio: I have that affect, yeah Buster: You & me both but I'd rather keep on this side of it & keep my A*s Rio: Humblebrag Rio: keep it for the Oxbridge application Buster: Nah, a not even little known fact actually Buster: I can't be the Golden Boy with any less Rio: Sad Rio: everyone loves me just 'cos Buster: 🍀 Buster: Not sure my parents are capable of real emotion & they're the ones we're talking about so Rio: Sure they are Rio: Anger is an emotion Buster: Everyone knows they used all the positive ones on their grand love affair though Rio: Not trying to turn that into a triangle, don't you worry Rio: though that'd shit on all other worst kept secrets so it's a shame Buster: They are just less hot versions of me, be more blatant Rio: That's a bold claim Rio: and I said I'm not trying so not really Buster: It's a true story is what it is Rio: Hit them with it Rio: see what they reckon Buster: Been there, done that Rio: 😏 'Course Rio: you're such a delight Buster: Not really, but I'm not trying to be Rio: Trying out that sarcasm bullshit Buster: Stating a fact Buster: Right now all I'm trying to be is drunk Rio: I was talking about me Rio: not the only one capable of self-absorption, babe Buster: Oh Buster: Try harder then Rio: You can keep it, I reckon Rio: just another way of chatting shit but acting smug like you've said what you meant Buster: Try it on your boyfriend before you decide to fully uncommit, I reckon Buster: You look hot when you look smug Rio: How drunk are you Rio: aside from the obligatory 'not drunk enough' Buster: I'm not asking you to take care of me this time Buster: Don't worry about it Rio: Good job too Buster: Yeah, if you're still that shit at it Rio: Oh my God Rio: what other grudges are you holding, like Buster: It's what families do, babe Rio: Nah Rio: live and let live this lot Buster: Tell it to Nance, she's gutted I'm not wearing a 🌈 pin in support months later Rio: You two are dramatic Rio: I told you Buster: It's been passed down from both parents, I've told you before Buster: No fucking chance to be otherwise on that Rio: Gutted Buster: I'm rich enough it's expected of me regardless Buster: So I ain't crying Rio: if you are, hankies got the thread count to handle it, got it Buster: I'll just straight up wipe my eyes on the 💸 Rio: Truly a nightmare, boy Rio: give you that Buster: You're still dreaming about me Buster: I'll take it Rio: You're not funny Buster: You've proved otherwise however many times tonight already Buster: Stop laughing & maybe I'll buy it Rio: You have your moments Rio: don't push it Buster: Where's the fun in that? Rio: Shit party will be over soon and you can go back to having whatever passes for in your neck of the woods Buster: & until then we're both bored Buster: Tell me you don't want a little push Rio: What do you have in mind then Rio: or is this all just more chat Buster: You mean to also tell me you can't read my mind? Buster: Way to disappoint me Rio: 💔 Rio: Nothing worse than crossed wires is there Buster: I was thinking a little drinking game from your neck of the woods Buster: What have you got for me? Rio: Alright Rio: Come on then Buster: Go for your life Rio: [like are you two just playing, where is her mans, so many questions] Buster: [it has to be just them though unless he can take her man down and impress her on the low, that's the only way he can be involved] Rio: [the best one I've found is bullshit, basically you have to lie about your card hand and when you get caught in a lie you drink] Buster: [in this land of fiction pretend she knows a badass one/has made up a badass one because would have] Rio: [bin off the boy too] Buster: [what a mood] Rio: [gotta cockblock though] Buster: [better than we did with baze anyway, you got years yet lads] Rio: [get whisked away beech he's gonna be bored af] Buster: [& Buster gonna be drunk af oh lord] Rio: [partayyy] Buster: [your parents can't say shit at least boy cos they were doing it] Rio: [but will, parents are hypocrites for life] Buster: [and baze are the biggest byeeeeee that's the tea] Rio: [trubigfacts] Buster: [this drinking game should involve forfeits and it should be brandy cos the mems] Rio: [lord they're gonna vom] Buster: [he definitely will cos throwback] Rio: is that your pile of vom I just walked past or is someone else flagging too Buster: What kind of lawyer would I make if I answered that honestly Rio: 😂 Rio: Plead the fifth or whatever the fuck Buster: Exactly Buster: Couldn't have put it better myself Rio: let's hope you can or you'll never pass the bar, babe Buster: Never seen a bar I wanted to walk past, babe Rio: Omg Rio: granddad, that you Buster: [lols] Buster: Where is he though? Buster: Fucking done one from his own party Rio: Would if you could Rio: can't blame him Buster: He could've took me with him Buster: I can blame him for that Rio: Awh Rio: cute Buster: Shut up Buster: I wanna go home, that's not a secret Rio: You also wanna be favourite, less of a secret Buster: If you don't, you're stupider than you act Rio: Rude Buster: True Rio: Nope Buster: Yeah Rio: Think what you like Buster: Not gonna think what I don't like Buster: Not that much of a glutton for punishment, like Rio: Neither am I, so I don't care what you think Buster: Cute Rio: 🙄 Buster: If you actually did that instead of 😍 at me, maybe I'd believe you Rio: If I needed any more proof you were wasted Rio: Good thing you can't drive or we'd be taking your keys right now Buster: If I could drive, I'd have left ages ago Rio: Can't say I'd be gutted Buster: Not out loud nah Buster: Say it with your eyes as standard Rio: What are you looking at my eyes so much for then Buster: Safest place Rio: Jesus, McKenna Buster: Well, it is Buster: I didn't dress you in that Rio: I'm a big girl, can dress myself now Buster: Good to know Rio: You're such a dick Buster: & what? Buster: Is your problem that you don't like it or you do? Buster: 'Cause either way, not mine Rio: Oh fuck off Buster: Like you said, I would if I could Rio: you don't have to be annoying me Buster: You don't have to reply to me Rio: Yeah, that's probably how this usually goes for you Rio: like I'm gonna sit here and let you chat shit on me Buster: Mute me, I thought you already had anyway Rio: Why should I Buster: You're the one who's so fine with the way things are between us Buster: Why wouldn't you? Rio: I can be civil Buster: Why bother? Rio: Because I'm not some kid who gets his kicks out of being a dick? Rio: You're fucking immature Buster: You get your kicks out of being around me Buster: Obviously Rio: Why do you keep saying shit like this Buster: 'Cause you won't Rio: Because it's not true Buster: Bullshit Buster: I was there Buster: I'm here now Rio: We were kids Buster: Irrelevant Rio: How could that possibly be irrelevant Rio: kids do stupid shit constantly Buster: I do stupid shit now Buster: According to you, I'll do stupid shit til I'm 50 if not forever Rio: So Rio: what are you saying, we repeat that as well as the brandy? Buster: I did throw up so probably not but Rio: Yeah, that's the only reason why not Buster: It's my only reason Rio: You're gonna regret at this when you sober up, so I'll do you a favour and ignore it Buster: Don't do me any favours Buster: You don't know me like that any more Rio: It's just what families do Buster: Yeah Rio: Don't worry about it Buster: I wasn't Buster: I won't Rio: Glad to hear it then Buster: I bet Rio: Why wouldn't I be Buster: Of course you would, it makes shit really easy for you, that's literally what I'm saying Buster: Nobody's worried about it, we're so unfazed it can be like it never happened Rio: What, because you're twatted I should go for it Rio: that's not horrible at all, is it Buster: 'Cause you want to Buster: That's the reason Rio: Buster just don't Rio: alright Buster: Yeah 'cause me shutting up about it is gonna make a world of difference Buster: Been there, tried that Rio: I don't know what you want right now Rio: I don't think you do either Buster: That's the best lie of the night Buster: 🏆🎉 Rio: Thanks Rio: fanfare not necessary but I'll take my prize in cash or booze Buster: Have a drink on me then Rio: Cheers Buster: [finally raises his glass in a cheers which is probably empty anyway] Rio: [imagine bazes faces rn lol] Buster: [does one at them too because shout out mum & dad] Rio: Probably a decent plan if your parents were normal Rio: get so embarrassing they have to take you home Rio: but reckon they'll let you ride it out and suffer tomorrow so Buster: Still, I'll pass out eventually so one way or another, I'm leaving Rio: Don't say things like that Rio: that's really depressing Buster: I'm not here to make you feel good babe, you passed on that Rio: Yeah 'cos I'm worried about me Buster: Bullshit do you care about me Buster: Get over yourself Rio: What kind of bitch do you actually think I am Buster: One who doesn't care, did I slur too much then or what? Rio: Loud and clear Buster: Good Rio: Yeah Rio: have fun with this hangover Buster: Cheers Buster: I won't wait for you to show up in the nurse gear Rio: I wouldn't Rio: Bitch or not, not happening Buster: Talk to my fucking sister if you're any kind of caring bitch Rio: I already have Rio: you're obsessed with yourself but I actually ain't Buster: If that's meant to impress me you've taken a wrong turn Rio: No, it's meant to be a fuck you Rio: keep up Buster: That actually would be impressive if you could come close to pulling it off Rio: Shut up Rio: for fuck's sake Buster: If you don't like it, do something about it Buster: Don't just fucking take it Buster: Who are you now? Rio: You're being that pathetic right now, I'm not going to fight you Buster: There's loads of different ways to fight Buster: But if you wanna take a cop out, go for it Rio: and what's the point in that? Rio: you like being like this, apparently, so enjoy it Rio: like you've said, we don't know each other like that, why would anything you say about me matter Buster: You tell me, babe Buster: Why does it? Rio: This is ridiculous Rio: You're ridiculous Buster: How far under your skin, am I? Buster: That's what's ridiculous Rio: You wish Buster: I haven't touched you for years Buster: I don't need to Buster: What do I need wishes for? Rio: You're disgusting Buster: Like you said, my search history is Rio: At least you can admit that Buster: I told you earlier, I can own it Buster: All of it Buster: Why can't you? Rio: 'Cos you want me to say something stupid just so you can take the piss later Rio: but I ain't gone enough for that shit Buster: No I don't Rio: Yeah you do Buster: I don't Buster: I probably won't remember this later, fuck's sake Rio: You definitely won't Buster: So cut the bullshit Buster: What does it matter? Rio: Alright Rio: when you do Buster: 😂 Buster: Alright Buster: This is why I fucking missed you Buster: Well played, like Rio: 🙄😏 Rio: Win again, do I? Buster: Is that what you need from me? Okay then Rio: Obviously Rio: I'm the competitive one here Buster: It ain't never been all me Buster: Don't lie that hard Rio: Okay Rio: a bit Rio: you bring out the worst in me, how about that for a compromise Buster: I'll take it Rio: Good Buster: That kiss proved you bring out the worst in me too so Rio: 😂 Rio: Don't even try to blame me for that Buster: Nobody else has complained Buster: It's obviously your fault Rio: SINCE Rio: if you're having any success now it's thanks to me Buster: Well there weren't no before Buster: That don't mean you taught me anything Rio: Yeah it does Buster: How would you, you barely kissed me back Rio: We couldn't both be on attack Rio: defensive was my only hope Buster: What can I say? I go after what I want Rio: Hmm Buster: Don't even try & act like that ain't true Rio: Just curious why you were after my tonsils so bad Buster: It wasn't the aim Buster: Only the consequence Rio: You're funny Buster: & yeah my aim was a little bit the problem Buster: But fuck off Rio: 😂 Rio: you were in the general vicinity Buster: Cheers that's well comforting Rio: Hit you with a 'it happens to all lads' if you like, really cheer you up Buster: Don't fucking dare Buster: Trying to jinx me or some shit now Rio: I know you're still a virgin Rio: you'd probably have liveblogged it or some shit if you weren't Buster: Yeah I might Rio: I'll definitely mute you before then Rio: s'all good Buster: Unless your boyfriend needs the tips Buster: Fingers crossed they ain't all gonna be as shit as this one Rio: He isn't my first boyfriend Rio: but I haven't slept with any of them Rio: contrary to what you reckon Buster: What do you want me to say? Rio: Erm try sorry, wanker Buster: Alright Buster: I am then Rio: You're what Buster: I'm not gonna fucking get on my knees for it Buster: You know what I'm saying Rio: Say it then Rio: one word Rio: not asking the rest, am I Buster: Jesus Buster: That's a fucking word Rio: Why you bringing him into this Rio: he would never Buster: He would 100% get on his knees Buster: Guaranteed Rio: You like punishment, I heard Rio: crucifying you is a bit much Buster: He's basically never upright unless you nail him, the soft cunt Buster: That's all I'm saying Rio: Why are you slating him right now Rio: just 'cos he's the bigger man and would apologize Buster: Distraction Buster: Obviously Rio: Well try harder Buster: Don't tempt me Rio: Ha Rio: come on Rio: or do you wanna owe me Buster: Fuck that Buster: Look, I'm sorry, yeah? Rio: There Rio: that was actually easy, wasn't it Rio: apology accepted Buster: Cheers then Buster: Just one more thing Rio: What Buster: Don't bother fucking this one Buster: Trust me Buster: That's me doing you a favour, however we know each other Rio: Looking unlikely Rio: but I'll keep it in mind Buster: Good Buster: I don't need the mental images on top of the boring display I already saw Rio: Well that's your own fault Buster: Technically it's yours for not being inside Rio: Well I'm not sorry Rio: it weren't that bad Buster: You weren't Buster: His case has been made Rio: just keep your opinions to yourself Rio: or at least between us Rio: don't need a scrap right now Buster: I'm not dumping him for you, calm down Rio: Isn't that what brothers are meant to do Rio: don't think Junior is gonna be very useful to me Rio: sorry, like Buster: You can have my sister Buster: She's a proper manhater Buster: It'd be quality Rio: 😂 Rio: Bad enough I dragged him to a family function Rio: can't just let everyone start attacking him Buster: Why did you? Buster: Too much of a rookie error even for you Rio: 'cos I knew it'd probably be boring Buster: Yeah but so's he Buster: You can't fight boring with more boring, babe Rio: I obviously didn't think so, did I Buster: You're only lying to yourself at this point Buster: I could fucking see that you were bored senseless Buster: Come on Rio: I don't know then Rio: beats being alone Buster: Alone with a family this size Buster: Chance would be a fine thing Rio: Easy Rio: like you said, no one's looking, no one gives a fuck Buster: Everyone's looking & pretending they ain't Buster: They don't give enough of a fuck though, that's true Rio: Changed your tune now you're not trying to get me to kiss you Rio: but agreed Buster: I weren't gonna do it in the middle of them all Buster: Hold up everyone, get in a fucking circle really quick Rio: said like you weren't acting like an insane person Buster: When have I ever acted like a sane person? Buster: What kid necks brandy in the middle of the morning Buster: You used to like it Rio: Never said I didn't Buster: So you do still like me then Rio: You sound surprised Buster: That'll be 'cause I am Rio: I'm a nice fucking person Rio: 😂 Idk why you reckon I ain't Buster: You were nice to me 'cause you had a massive crush on me, it don't make you a saint Buster: If anything, it makes you the opposite Rio: Charming Rio: any ulterior motives I might've had, as a literal child, flew right out the window with that kiss didn't they so that's invalid Buster: You were still running round after me for a fair while before though Buster: It took you long enough to take the hint Buster: *after Rio: No I was not Rio: your selective memory Buster: You were & I had to be the opposite of charming Buster: You ain't talked to me since so that fucks your sainthood Rio: That was obviously what you wanted Rio: wouldn't be very saintly to keep 'running 'round after you' Buster: There's your excuse, you can have it Rio: I don't need no excuse Rio: I was here Rio: it was you that was avoiding, making it weird Buster: Don't act like you never avoided me Buster: Just 'cause I started it Rio: Well, it don't matter now, does it Buster: You're doing it now Buster: You can't look at me Rio: [does like yeah I can] Buster: [a moment because of course he's looking at her too] Rio: How many fingers am I holding up? Rio: [flips him off but grins with it] Buster: Not enough for a fun night Rio: 😂 Buster: Unless your grip is like Buster: Really something Rio: Were you always this Rio: I don't even know Buster: Puberty made me even more of a thorn in your side in every way, babe Buster: Take it up with your fave lad, Jesus Buster: Or his dad Rio: One in the same, lad Buster: He's his own dad? How does that work Rio: I know, mental Rio: hear he made the whole universe too? Rio: wild stuff Buster: I could say I did that, It don't make it a real thing Buster: Even wilder stuff Rio: your proclivity for bullshit is known Rio: could tell me anything, don't mean I'll believe it Buster: Shame I won't remember that Rio: Is it? Buster: Isn't it? Rio: What are we talking about now? Buster: The fucked upness that will be my tomorrow Rio: Don't envy you that Buster: At least I won't have to talk to you & vice versa Buster: Small mercy there Rio: Drama queen Buster: 👑 Rio: Should get some water though for real Buster: Me or you? Rio: You Buster: Nah, I don't need that shit Buster: I'm not going to bed Rio: What are you gonna do Buster: Stay here Buster: Like old times Rio: Okay Rio: but don't forget, when you do Buster: You sound more like a mum than the one I've got Rio: Just doing my bit Buster: By rights you should've been a good nurse Buster: What a fucking curve Rio: I would be Rio: it's so rude holding that against me Rio: it was pretty scary actually Rio: thought you was gonna start vomming blood or something Buster: That would've been such a cool story Buster: Let's tell people I did that Rio: Can tell your mates Rio: all posh boys are psychopaths Buster: Yeah Buster: Why they love me at this school Buster: Gonna be Headboy in no time Rio: Probably Rio: but you ain't Buster: Yeah I will, I just had to get a rep first Rio: I mean, you ain't a psycho Rio: unlucky Buster: How do you know? Buster: Easily could be Rio: Nah Buster: Then, I'll just fake it til I make it, I guess Rio: Should work Rio: easy to convince people of what they wanna see Buster: Exactly Rio: What would you wanna be head boy for though actually Buster: Get such a hard on for a badge obviously Buster: What kind of question is that? Rio: [A lol] Rio: Fucking nerd Buster: If I ain't Headboy someone else is Buster: That makes them better than me Buster: Nobody's better than me so Rio: Better in the eyes of teachers Rio: at fucking...being a good example and peer mentor or whatever the fuck it actually means Buster: Don't be stupid Buster: It's a popularity contest Buster: They might as well give you a fucking 👑 Rio: 🙄 Rio: you're so weird Buster: Fuck off Rio: Honestly Rio: be wanting to be prom king next Buster: Obviously I do Buster: What the fuck Rio: 😂 Rio: Stop Buster: You stop Buster: Taking the piss out of me Rio: I'm sorry but you're being funny Buster: You ain't sorry at all Buster: But yeah, I'm hilarious, like Rio: If that's what you care about that's fine, I guess Rio: don't get it but you know Buster: I don't need you to get me Buster: Calm down Rio: I'm not trying, am I Rio: taking the piss Buster: Stop though Rio: I have Rio: I will Buster: Good 'cause I'm gonna be sick Buster: [is but hopefully not everywhere please boy] Rio: Oh God Rio: run Buster: You worry so much Buster: I thought we weren't doing that shit Rio: so I'll just let you chunder everywhere Rio: it's not like above and beyond is it Rio: get you a sodding glass of water if you let me Buster: You're so cute Rio: And you are very very drunk Buster: And I really wanna go home Buster: Why does nobody listen to me? Christ Rio: Let me find a sober adult for you Rio: I think both your parents are drinking Buster: Good fucking luck with this lot Rio: Seriously Rio: [my thoughts are probably Caleb 'cos not a big drinker even as a teen so as an adult, with some small kids still?] Buster: [A logical conclusion I feel like, also less awkward to talk to your dad than like whoever else it could be like Ro god forbid cos we know how that future is panning out] Rio: [also she'd be #horrified at the state of him so avoid that lmao] Rio: My da can take you, if you like Rio: don't like choke on your own sick though Rio: shall I find Nance to come? Buster: Or you could just come so I don't have to talk to your dad Rio: Of course I'm coming in the car Rio: like I trust you and your mouth rn Rio: but someone should stay with you Buster: Stay with me then Rio: Yeah? Rio: Alright Rio: give me 5 to sort shit then Buster: I'll start the countdown now, like Rio: You ain't allowed to say anything about the quality of my nursing ever again, you know that right Rio: [tell your mans its time to go] Buster: I know that I won't remember fuck all about it, either way Buster: Lucky escape for you there Rio: Ha, funny Rio: be less so when I poison you Buster: You don't reckon I've beat you to that already? Buster: Hilarious Rio: There's time and opportunity to finish you off now Rio: fool Buster: Maybe that's how I wanna go Buster: Could all be a carefully planned and orchestrated situation, babe Rio: Nah Rio: got head boy and prom king to win yet Buster: Lying in my grave kinda takes that pressure off Buster: I can just leave them with all these fond memories Buster: Such as now Buster: Be Golden Boy forever Rio: Shh Rio: so morbid Rio: maybe you are 🍀 after-all Buster: Dead babies will do it to you Buster: & yeah, same family, remember Rio: Come on Buster: Shh we're not allowed to talk about it Buster: Actual worst kept secret Rio: You ain't letting that stop you Rio: talk about whatever you like, not listening anyway am I Buster: Of course you are Buster: Never been able to ignore me Rio: You are pretty loud Buster: [laughs loudly so point proven there] Rio: [smiles, when her mans is probably giving him such a dirty look 'cos ruined his plans lmao, get in the car lads] Buster: [Let's hope he didn't see it because we don't need you to smack him boy you're already looking jealous enough when you ain't her mans] Rio: Good thing is if you're sick in here, one of the kids probably did it yesterday so who cares Buster: I don't reckon I can Buster: But if you really want me to, for old times sake, I'll give it my best shot Rio: Sweet but let's keep our bodily fluids to ourselves Buster: All of them? Buster: Shame Rio: [nudges him like 😏] Rio: Behave Buster: Why would I wanna do a thing like that? Buster: Not my dad driving Rio: You don't think you're in enough trouble as is? Buster: I think I could get in more Buster: Easily Rio: Why would you wanna do a thing like that? Buster: 'Cause I'm not your boring boyfriend Rio: No, you ain't Buster: & I got rid of him for you Buster: You're welcome, like Rio: Thought you said you weren't gonna do that Buster: Yeah but Rio: You're alright, I got rid of him Rio: you were just a useful excuse Buster: I aim to please Rio: I'm sure Buster: & my aim's improved since Buster: In case you were worried Rio: 😂 Rio: Pleased for you Buster: You could be pleased for yourself Buster: If you just stop playing Rio: You might not remember any of this tomorrow but I probably will Buster: Promise or a threat? Rio: Take it how you want Rio: just a fact, I ain't as gone Buster: Here's another fact, I don't care Rio: Will when I can rip the piss out of you Buster: If you need this for ammunition you already can't keep up Rio: We've established Rio: I'm nice, you're a dick Buster: Nah, you're passive aggressive, I'm just aggressive Rio: Alright, alpha male 🙄 Buster: That's really not much of an insult, babe Buster: You might as well stop fighting me Rio: I'm not fighting you Rio: wouldn't really be fair would it Buster: That's the difference between me and you Buster: I don't care if the fight's fair Rio: One of Buster: I'll all but knocked myself out for you & you still won't throw any punches Buster: Hilarious Buster: Even Nance would rise to this much bait, like Buster: & she's barely a McKenna Rio: Exactly Rio: wore yourself out, rookie Rio: and don't be rude Rio: she's as much of one as you Buster: [Laughs] Buster: I take it back, that's the best lie of the night actually Buster: You wish, then you could handle it, but nah, stamina for days Buster: & nah she ain't Rio: You're the only one wishing and concerning yourself with what I can handle, boy Buster: Keep telling yourself that, babe Rio: Well, obviously you ain't the ONLY one but in this car Buster: Bold of you to assume your dad don't love me Rio: [lols] Rio: shut up Rio: outweirding yourself Buster: If you weren't too scared you could make me Rio: Who's scared Buster: Me when we were kids & you now Rio: Nah Rio: I know what I'm doing Buster: It doesn't mean you ain't shitting yourself at the prospect of doing it Rio: With my cousin, in a car with my dad? Rio: that's just common sense, McKenna Buster: That's just another bullshit excuse, Cavante Buster: You know where I am & where I've been Rio: You said, you started it Buster: You know why Rio: Yeah? Buster: Yeah Rio: Maybe Buster: Can your dad not drive any faster than this? Buster: Jesus Christ Buster: It would have been quicker to walk, like Rio: How you're stumbling? I think not Rio: What's your hurry, do you need to stop Buster: Need, want, there's not a load of difference Rio: I mean, I'd prefer it if you got out to be sick, thank you Rio: we ain't that far Buster: I'm not gonna puke on you, calm down Rio: You better not Rio: definitely don't know each other like that Buster: The outfit's too good Buster: I won't Rio: Considerate 😏 Rio: [let's get 'em there can't be that far away thanks and bye Caleb] Buster: [have fun getting him in girl] Rio: [get you situated on the sofa 'cos we ain't going to his room rn and be getting water and ting] Buster: [I bet their sofas ain't comfy cos expensive stylish ones never look like they are] Rio: [poor boy] Rio: go get your duvet Buster: You're trusting me to climb these stairs? Buster: Like I said, shit nurse Rio: For goodness sake Rio: where's your room then Rio: it better not be gross or I'm charging Buster: [Tells her cos I can't remember the layout] Rio: 👍 Rio: don't wander Buster: [Lies stretched out on the sofa like a little Crim] Rio: [first throws it at him but then has to tuck 'cos mum] Buster: [Gives her an accidental soft look but when was the last time anyone did that for him lbr] Rio: [puts the TV on 'cos gotta have some pretense of doing something and distraction] Buster: [sipping his water like a good boy] Rio: [is like yasss hydrate lmao] Buster: [when you're like come & lie here with me bitch but in gestures] Rio: [when you do but over the covers] Rio: ['Better?'] Buster: [Just nods because looking at her & having a moment] Rio: ['Good'] Buster: ['Don't go'] Rio: 'I won't, not 'til they get back, don't worry'] Buster: [When you happy about this not only cos you don't wanna be alone but because it's her specifically] Rio: [When you like, don't fall asleep, don't fall asleep 'cos cosy] Buster: [& he's getting closer to her all the time, we see you trying to snuggle boy] Rio: ['when are you going back home then?'] Buster: [Shrugs cos I feel like he genuinely wouldn't know cos can't just do what he wants yet he has to do what baze wants] Rio: ['your friends are probably all at their holiday homes anyway, yeah?'] Buster: ['Course & as far as they're concerned this is mine, don't need to tell 'em it's not on an island somewhere or some shit'] Rio: [laughs quietly 'secret's safe with me'] Buster: ['You sure you can handle keeping another one?'] Rio: ['duh, you know how many brothers and sisters I got, I'm the best at keeping secrets'] Buster: ['Good to know. I'll try & remember'] Rio: [puts up fingers like '10'] Buster: [laughs] Rio: ['don't get ideas though' 'cos throwback] Buster: ['You won't know either way, can't read my mind'] Rio: ['wouldn't want to, filth' but smiling] Buster: ['You'd love it'] Rio: [😏 'go to sleep'] Buster: ['You gonna come with me then?' When you wanna sleep & dream & snuggle together aw] Rio: ['gotta look after you, ain't I' when you stroke his hair but then pretend you just messing it up] Buster: [When you lowkey snuggle into her more than you already were] Rio: ['Don't remember this in the morning, yeah'] Buster: ['Shh, I'm asleep'] Rio: ['Good boy'] Buster: [A smile because always gonna be into that we know] Rio: [when baze and nancy are gonna be so confused like hello?] Buster: [You shoulda known what's up lads, it's always been obvious af] Rio: [she's deffo falling asleep too ain't like she's sober] Buster: [and she's definitely being snuggled rn so who could resist] Rio: when you 'rents probably hitting you up 'cos baze in no fit state to be taking you home like are you staying or what] Buster: [Caleb 100% would, he's that dad who will spam you with texts and missed calls] Rio: [soz babe your kids suck at replying lmao] Buster: [At least he knows where she is] Rio: [true, she'll get woken up when baze get back assumedly then it'll be all sos] Buster: [Dad's taxi come through]

[monstrous-beauty]

Monstrous Beauty Text Posts

Jake: What (and i cannot stress this enough) the fuck/ sure. blame the guy who's a huge idiot who causes a lot problems, again/ Me in jail: so are you guys familiar with the cell block tango/ Apparently "the vibes are off" isn't a just excuse to leave work early/ what, from the bottom of my heart, the fuck/ what doesn't kill doesn't kill you/ yesterday at target the cashier said "your receipt is the bag* and I responded with "you too" so I've been dealing with that for the past 18 hours but I'm slowly coming to terms with it which is cool/ *enters my own password* i'm in/ due to personal reasons I will be cheating death/ *gets down on one knee* *gets down on the other* *doesn't get up ever*/ Not to be dramatic but if I don't get my life together I will die/ I have pure intentions, bitch! you can't kill me/ cop: can you describe the guy who stabbed you me: yeah he was not very friendly

Storm: Which is messier my life or my hair/ "I am unknowable" I say as I overshare my biggest childhood trauma's in the first conversation with someone/ I love laying the FUCK down and sleeping/ me: [vibrating slightly because I had too much caffeine] everything in the world is my fault/ my only goal in life is to destroy the space-time continuum/ i am a huge fan of space, both outer and personal/ Yeah sex is great but have you looked at common English words and then followed their systematic time changes back through Old English and Proto-Germanic all to the way to their Proto-Indo-European roots, whispered one of those roots out loud, and been overwhelmed by a sense of Lovecraftian insignificance as it dawns on you that you just reached back across scores of centuries and spoke a word older than civilization itself?/ but i don't have a hyperfixation i'll die

Adrienne: im so tired of this life. i want to be a roomba. i want knives taped to me. i want to be set loose./ are my prophetic visions a joke to you/ There has been a lady inside my head screaming for the past 10 years and u think taking a bath and doing yoga will stop her? U are wrong. She is a very mad lady and she will not be silenced/ Cranky because you haven't had any prophetic dreams to aid you on your quest aren't you/ i wish it was 1600 so i cood spelle words howe everr my harte destyred/ me: *hangs out with little kids and tries to teach them self love and feminist ideas*/ Pros and cons of wearing all black pros: hot as hell cons: hot as hell/ If someone points at your black clothes and asks you who's funeral it is, a look around the room and casual "haven't decided yet" is a good response

Solais: mentally i'm at least 5"11. physically? don't worry about it/ don't call yourself edgy unless you talk to dead people and have daddy issues/ im a simple gal. people raise their voices at me, i cry for an hour/ once i figure out how to hold a conversation it's frienship for you bitches/ me: *is tiny* me: (;'._.');/ no homo bro *thinks about you* thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you* *thinks about you*/ Listen man I'm just trying to wear soft sweaters and read my books and love myself/ i was put on this earth to eat bagels and be gay/ actually Ratatouille is the dish's name, you're thinking of Ratatouille's monster. im what the kids call

attention seeking/ me gay? why yes thank you for noticing/ on all levels except physical, i am a little heart shaped candy that says "i'm all yours!"/ nothing is awkward or cheesy if you don't give a fuck. i'm on this earth to have a good time. not to be cool./ i aspire to be one of those people who is known for always smelling good and treating people kindly/ big heart energy/ me @ you: >> this is my protecting women and girls knife/ doing violence tonight so watch out if you're weak to attacks/ why did my last two braincells have to be a sad one and a stupid one/ goes to the kitchen holds a knife in my hand for a while. puts it back. goes back to my room

Mal: these hands rated e for everyone/ forgive me father for I have sinned in all the coolest and most glamorous ways possible/ "I expected better from you" well that was your fault lmao i got nothing to do with that/ im beautiful im delicious i literally cannot die i want 200 dollars/ friendly reminder that i literally cannot die, and id love to see any of you fuckers try to take me down/ Slutty in theory but not in practice/ I just wannna be vaguely unsettling, not even scary or creepy, I just want people to look at me and feel like there's something A Little Bit Wrong but they don't know what when they tell the story of the slighty cryptid being to their friends later/ Hmmm gay rights but only for me i think? The rest of you are on your own/ i say i'm gay a lot for someone who is technically bisexual/ occupation: the family disappointment/ [steps on my emotions and grinds them under my heel] anyways/ i am evil and not straight/ me: breathes parents: I AM SICK AND TIRED OF YOUR ATTITUDE/ you ever listen to your dad talk and be like "why are you like this?"/ dont you hate when you wake up and you're awake/ oh god...oh fuck...*yearns*/ Due to personal reasons I'll be going feral/ Quitting school to become a plant who wants to join me we can make a forest/ Anyways! *climbs out of the scattered and ruined debris of my feelings*/ so what if i love you. shut up/ i ask myself 48 times a day "am I being dramatic? Is this #toomuch?" the answer is always yes of course/ *lawyer voice* eat a dick, your honor/ I may seem like an asshole but deep down I'm good person and even deeper down I'm a bigger asshole/ in my defense, i was left unattended

[certifiablyidiotic]

Acting like a dominant girl on Omegle gets you nowhere.

I'm a cismale and I thought 'Why not act like a woman tonight?' I chose to act like a dominant lesbian and this is the results

!!!EXPLICIT CONTENT WARNING!!!

Stranger: M or f

You: I'm a fucking human. It doesn't matter.

Stranger: Bitch STFU😒

You: I just want a casual chat.

You: Is that too much?

Stranger: No come get sum

Stranger: I'm NOT gay

Stranger: So if this a guy

Stranger: Leave me alone

You: Homophobic, I see.

Stranger: No I'm not

Stranger: That's what I am not

You: You said 'Leave me alone' as if you were afraid of a little homosexuality.

Stranger: I am I don't put myself around that energy

You: So...

Homophobic.

Stranger: Is this a girl if you a girl idc if you say allat but

You: Yeah it is, but what if I'm a lesbian?

Stranger: If you a guy you kinda wierd man

Stranger: That's coo

You: Why would it automatically be weird for a guy to say this, if I may?

Stranger: Wym?

Stranger: Guys shouldn't be talking bout anything gay

You: But girls can?

Stranger: I'm not gay so I don't associate with gay stuff

Stranger: Yes your a girl🤩😂call me whateverrr

You: So you don't support LGBT+ and you shun gay dudes.

That's called Homophobic.

Stranger: But anywayssss😂

Stranger: I'm not homophobic

Stranger: Stop calling me gay girl😭

You: You sure act like it.

You: I'm not calling you gay.

Homophobic is afraid of gays.

Stranger: Ohhhhh

You: Or a hatred for them

Stranger: I don't hate it's just idc to hear bout it

You: And if you do?

Stranger: Wym?

You: You don't care to hear about it.

What happens if you do?

Stranger: Well then I'm tb gay stuff Wich I don't like tbh😐

Stranger: But when a girl tb it it's okay

You: 'tb'?

Stranger: Talking about

Stranger: Wyd tho?

You: Your fragile masculinity is laughable.

You: Would you believe me if I said I'm sucking a dick?

Stranger: Naw

Stranger: Are you

You: No.

Stranger: Why would you ask me then funny af🤣🤣

Stranger: I'm eating sum pussy rn so...

Stranger: 🤣

You: To see if you were as much of a creep as you come-

Yeah... I think I proved my point.

Stranger: I was just kidding calm tf down

Stranger: 😐😐

You: Fragile

Masculinity.

Stranger: Fradgile masculinity?

Stranger: Bitch enough big words we aint in school rn

You: School is for people who want to do something big in life.

All you wanna do is shun me for being smarter than you and shun guys for being gay.

Stranger: No idc if they gay so stop you dumb hoe

You: Then interact with men in the LGBT+ community... 'you dumb hoe'

Stranger: Prolly was sucking dick😂🙄

Stranger: Me nooo

Stranger: Your not getting me to do that who you think you is shorty😭🤣🤣

You: What does dick sucking have to do with you talking to a gay dude?

Stranger: I'm not talking to no gayyy dudeee

You: I have a bigger dick than you.

Stranger: Nada

You: Fragile fucking Masculinity

Stranger: Bitch I will fuck the back off you

You: I hope the fuck you do

Stranger: Arch that back hoe

You: You're either

A.) A perv

or B.) Rocking on fragile masculinity.

You have to choose one.

Stranger: You would be beggin for yo life if I eat that pussy how I wanted😛😈

Stranger: I'm not a perv or I'm not gay so...

Stranger: What color hair you got?

You: Fragile Masculinity means your so self conscious about someone being more 'manly' than you so you act tough around ladies to raise your personality points. And lemme tell ya, it aint workin.

It has nothing to do with being gay.

You: Why does that matter?

I'm never having your babies.

Stranger: Wtf that ain't me I was js I am not gay and keep the gay talk away from me but baby ion know where you got allat at butttt...

Stranger: Bitch I don't want you to have my babies

You: Gay talk-

Were you not fucking listening?

Being a man of fragile masculinity means you have self esteem issues about your manliness.

You: Then why ask?

Stranger: Ik what I am and you ain't about to clown me and tell me who I am you clowning fr baby🤣🤣😭

You: If I am a clown, what will you do?

Stranger: I don't

You: You do.

You: You really do.

Stranger: No I don't ouuu I would fuck the life out youuu

You: You do. Saying shit like "I would fuck the life out of you" proves it.

Stranger: But what you wanna tb

You: I wanna talk about your low self-esteem.

Stranger: Bet it up shorty

You: Or is it that your self-esteem is so high that you're afraid of lil' ol' me?

Stranger: And you must have problems about how you feel about yourself to be judging meee.😁

You: I'm living my best life.

Stranger: Who afraid of you bitch becuas I definitely am tf not

Stranger: Yea

You: Calling someone names in an argument really lowers your personality points.

Stranger: IDGAF 🤣

You: Yeah you do.

Stranger: Personality points🙄

Stranger: Yo ass is evil I like that😏😏

You: Then again, you were already at zero points, so now you're at negative-go-fuck-yourself points.

You: I take pleasure in reading that you like the evil in me.

Stranger: I get off on that😋😏

You: I bet you masturbate to CBT porn

Stranger: Evil is attractive

Stranger: To me

You: Good thing I'm not gonna ever see you in my life.

Stranger: And you got it written all over youuuu🥺😌

Stranger: See evil asl I luvvvv it

Stranger: Keep thinking positive baby

You: Good thing I don't 'luvvvv' you.

Stranger: Oh no that is luv not love

Stranger: Different meanings😘

You: Ah, luv is a pervert's version of love.

Stranger: Prostitute ass bitch stop hateing yo ass is insecure

Stranger: Fr🤣

Stranger: Just talk to me girlll😒

You: If I was a prostitute, I wouldn't be on here.

Secondly, you're insecure for thinking that I'm hating on you.

Stranger: Ik you are hahaha

You: I'm laughing so hard...

Stranger: I'm not thinking ik you are

Stranger: Go head laugh it up

You: You really think I'm laughing at your jokes?

I'm laughing at your insecurites.

You: insecurities*

Stranger: Bitch you pissing me off😒

Stranger: No I am not .

You: Good.

If you want me to stop, then talk to a fucking homosexual, you homophobe.

Stranger: Just talk normal

Stranger: Daum

You: This is my normal talk.

Stranger: Why you gotta constantly be tb sum gay or judging realshit girl if that was regular talk you gotta find better things to tb

Stranger: Wyd rn??

You: Talking to a dumbass.

Stranger: Here you go again bitch😍😂I do kinda luv that lil additude

You: I talk about great things, I just get ticked off when guys think they can treat girls like toys for their sex.

You: You think you can belittle me?

Stranger: Lmao and who is doing that??

You: You're really out here... on some fucking crack or something,

Stranger: Who is belittle you I was gon treat you good like fr b4 you started calling me names and judging you little bitch so don't think shit sweet

Stranger: Wasn't even belittle you but I'ma do it now because you brought it up so...

You: I don't care if you hate me. You're a stranger on the internet who is getting mad for some girl on Omegle.com talking shit.

Stranger: I'm not mad

Stranger: Lmaooo

Stranger: You think you getting to me naww

Stranger: Don't trip

You: I wish that were true.

You're struggling with your fragile masculinity, so you hide behind this persona of bravery and cockiness.

Stranger: Your funny tho fr

You: Learn to spell, numbnuts

Stranger: You were struggling with your masculinity who TF says that shit

You: Me.

Stranger: Your the first person I ever heard say that

You: Because no one else is like me.

Stranger: But shorty I wasn't tryna belittle you I wasn't tryna fuck nun of day I was just tryna make sum friends lmao

You: Well this 'shorty' will not be your friend simply because you have a small penis and you're afraid of me.

Stranger: I'm not afraid of you and my dick ain't small!

You: Prove it.

Stranger: How girl

You: Act like a big dick dude and prove you're not afraid.

Stranger: Girl Ik I'm not scared of youu

Stranger: .🤣

Stranger: I thought you ain't want no dick?

You: Prove you're not scared of me.

Also, I said I didn't want YOUR dick.

Stranger: Come grab this mfka then

You: What is there to grab?

Stranger: Slobber it all down😍

Stranger: Ykyk

You: I can't touch something non-existent.

Stranger: Yeah let's go ahead and play this game🤣

Stranger: Girl yk I got dickk

You: Act like it then.

Stranger: Don't even try to act like you dont.

You: Don't have a dick or don't want your micro-penis?

Stranger: I got dick promise ya girl😘

You: Well, stop calling me 'girl', firstly and then I'll consider believing you.

Stranger: What's your name here I'll treat you better

You: It's fucking Bob. I'm not telling you my name.

Stranger: Wow

Stranger: Girl

Stranger: Evil🥰🥰I luvvv it

You: No. Just staying private.

Stranger: It's okay I'm julian

You: You're very trusting.

Stranger: Thx

You: That's not good.

Stranger: You think I'm trustworthy that what you saying

Stranger: You bi polar huh

You: No. I'm saying you trust people too easily.

Also, no. I'm just blunt.

Stranger: I like it fr tho I think you is bi polar you be getting mad at me for no reasonnn

Stranger: Who said I trust?

You: I'm laughing. I'm not mad.

Stranger: I trust no one🤫

Stranger: Me too

You: What part of Arizona do you live in?

So I can maim you/

You: .*

Stranger: You in phx

You: Why would I tell you that?

Stranger: No I just don't give 2 fucxks what you gon do kill me?😂🙃

Stranger: Aint nobody onnat

You: If that's what it takes to get you to leave this conversation, then yes.

Stranger: If I meet up wit these bitches nun of them gon have me worried nun of them are gon press me

Stranger: .

Stranger: What's your issue nowww😭😭😭🤣

Stranger: You be having me rolling istg🤣

You: Just give up. You aren't going to win this battle. You're an issue and I'm losing brain cells listening to your grammar and incessant rambling.

Stranger: Bitch come suck my dick

Stranger: Idc

Stranger: Idc

You: No, I don't think I will.

Stranger: Thought you wanted dick?

You: Not yours.

Stranger: All you bitched want my dick🤫

You: Your dick is small. I asked you to prove that you even had a penis by acting like it. Are you fucking brainless?

Stranger: I got drug dealer swag baby I can give to fucs what you think bout me

Stranger: 😘

You: Ah, so you give me a reason to get you incarcerated?

Stranger: Bitch we anonymous

You: True, but I have my ways.

Stranger: You don't wanna take it their fr

You: I should probably head out before I become braindead. It wasn't nice talking to you.

Stranger: Like realshit

You: 'Kay, bye~

Stranger: Why you leaving

You: Because you're dumb. Why else?

Stranger: Okay I guess

Stranger: Could've had sum dick girl but...

Stranger: You ain't want nu

You: I'm a lesbian.

You have disconnected

[bakedpotaatoo]

1. You woke up naked next to the last person you texted, what would you say?

ayyyy good morning?

2. What’s going on between you and the last person you kissed?

We broke up, she cheated on me

3. If your boyfriend or girlfriend was into drugs, would you care?

yes definitely

4. Is your last name longer than six letters?

Nope, but i wished i had my moms last name instead

5. Was your last kiss drunk or sober?

sober

6. Have you ever wanted to have someone but you messed it up?

My sin wasnt a great as what she did to me, i tried to better myself for her. But her heart wasnt mine to keep any longer.

7. What does your last received text say?

XD

8. How many times have you kissed the last person you kissed?

Ive no idea? 3 years worth of kisses. Apparently, it was too much for her

9. Where was your last kiss at?

The Airport

10. When is the last time you saw your sister?

1 week ago

11. What do you drink in the morning?

Water

12. Where did you sleep last night?

My room

13. Do you think relationships are hard?

No, I don't think so. I do believe it is about love and hard work, it takes 2 hands to clap.

14. If you could go back and change something in the past 5 months, would you? 

Honestly, i wouldn't. She started falling out of love with me long before. It wouldn't change anything. I'll still be hurt and dying on the inside

15. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, any problems?

Yes, ill slap her. You don't get to play with my feelings to save your own. This is why I deserved better

16. Would you rather it be sunny or rainy?

Rainy

17. Do you know anyone with the same middle name as you?

ohhhh definitely no one

18. Are you wearing jeans,sweatpants,or pajama pants?

Im wear no pants

19. Do you think you will be in a relationship 3 years from now?

Definitely. I’ll love her like no other

20. Does anyone like you?

For now, not that i know of, but one of friends tryna hit on me??

21. Have you ever kissed someone with a name that starts with an S?

Nope

22. Is the last person you kissed gay?

-.- DUH Im gay too

23. Is there a person you CANNOT stand?

I can sit tho. But there isnt

24. Have you ever considered getting a tattoo?

Yup im getting a new one this saturday to tell me life is beautiful

25. In the past week have you cried?

Everyday.

26. What breed was the last dog you saw?

Brown Poodle

27. Do you dry off in the shower or out of the shower?

Out of the shower

28. Have you ever kissed a football player?

Nope

29. Do you think you’re old?

Well, I'm 21. Age is just a number

30. Do you like text messaging?

Yes, i do. My messages on my phone has been really empty recently

31. What type of day are you having?

Mellow

32. Have you ever thought about getting your nose pierced?

Yes. Tons of times, maybe its time i should

33. Do you prefer warm or cold weather? 

Cold Weathers are great

34. Is there a person of the opposite sex who means a lot to you?

Not really

35. Would you prefer a relationship or a fling?

Long Term Relationship for me definitely. But i guess for now, ill like flings.

36. Are you a simple or complicated person?

Simple to take care, Complicated emotionally

37. What song are you listening to?

Fickle game by Amber Run

38. When you say you’re sorry do you mean it?

Yes. All the time 39. Is there a girl that knows everything or almost everything about you?

Yes. My ex 40. What made you start liking the person you like now?

I don't really have anyone I like right now. I'm focus on placing all my love to into myself 41. When did you last receive a text message?

15 mins ago 42. What is wrong with you right now?

I lost the love of my life and I was still deeply in love with her. I cant eat or sleep properly.  43. How well do you know the last female you texted?

Yes. I went camping with her 44. Does anyone disgust you?

Nose Pickers in public

45. Would you date someone right now if they asked?

Yes. But I'll tell them what I am going through now. 46. Are you in a good mood right now?

I'm feeling meh 47. Who was the last person you talked to in person?

Lucas 48. What colour shirt are you wearing?

White 49. Has someone recently told you something you didn’t want to hear?

”I loved you” 50. Anyone you’re giving up on?

My ex 51. Do you hate the person you fell hardest for?

I still love her. Ill never hate her even though she hurt me badly

52. Have you ever thought about giving up on someone but couldn’t?

Nope 53. Do you like rain?

I love it. 54. Do you care if your boyfriend/girlfriend drinks?

Not Really, if they wanna drink they can drink 55. Have you ever liked somebody and never told them?

Nope. 56. Do you like to cuddle?

Yes I love it 57. Are you shy?

Nope 58. Do you get along with girls?

Yes. Very well. Until they find out im gay and awkwardly go away. 59. Have you dated the person you texted last?

Nope 60. What do you carry with you at all times?

Phone, Keys and wallet 61. If you were paid 1 million dollars to spend the night in a supposed haunted house, would you?

Nope. I wouldn't. I hate playing with spiritual stuff 62. Do you think you can last in a relationship for five months?

Definitely if im looking at long term. 63. Think back to October, were you in a relationship?

Yes. 64. The person you like kisses you on the forehead, do you find this cute?

Yes. Its so peaceful and calm 65. Did anything “cute” happen in the last week?

I dont recall anything cute.

66. How old are the last three people you kissed?

72, 19, 21,

67. Would you rather pay to get your nails done or do them yourself?

Myself     68. Which do you like better- Zebra print or leopard print?   

None  69. Do you have any stickers on your car?    

No car, no stickers 70. Would you rather listen to Luke Bryan or Lil Wayne?    

Luke Bryan

71. Blackberry, Anroid, or iPhone?    

iPhone 72. When’s the last time you had pizza from Pizza Hut?   

6 months ago?  73. Do you like diet soda?    

yuck 74. What color are the walls in your room?    

purple 75. Are you 16 or older?    

yes 76. Do you watch Pretty Little Liars?    

used to be 77. Do you have a job?    

nope   78. What are your initials?   

NHCSL 79. Did you ever have braces?  

nope. i had retainers.   80. Are you from the south?    

More like SOUTH EAST ASIA

81. What does your last status on facebook say?  

Nothing.   82. Do you still talk to the first person you ever kissed?    

Yes. 83. Are you closer to your mom or your dad?    

My dad. 84. Have you ever done cheerleading or gymnastics?    

nope 85. What’s the last movie you saw in theaters?   

Dont recall  86. Do you smoke?    

No. But i might pick it up. 87. Would you rather wear heels or flip flops?    

Heels for class, flips for sloppy days 88. Is your phone touch screen?    

Yes 89. Do you normally wear your hair straight or curly? 

Curly    90. Have you ever snuck out of your house?  

Nope   91. Would you rather swim in a river, lake, or pool?    

Pool 92. Have you ever made out in a car?    

Nope 93. …Had sex in a car?    

Nope 94. Are you single or in a relationship?   

Single  95. What were you doing last night at midnight?

Playing games     96. When’s the last time you saw fireworks?  

Live fireworks would be 2 years ago? 97. Do you like the camera on your phone?    

yes 98. Have you ever had a friend with benefits?  

Nope.   99. Have you ever passed out from drinking?    

ayyyy, i think 100. Are you friends with people on facebook that you actually hate?  

Nope.   101. Have you ever had a pregnancy scare?  

gay so phew   102. Name your favorite Kesha song:    none

103. Do you have any tan lines right now?    Yes. 104. Would you ever wear cowboy boots with shorts?    HA ill do that

#ask #im doing this because im bored

[punkscowardschampions]

Grace & Janis

Grace: did you see who brought my coat back??? Grace: 🤞🤞 Janis: I did Grace: No you didn't Janis: ? Janis: Welcome, bitch Grace: UM excuse me but why & how? Janis: One of the baristas hit me up, I went and got it earlier Grace: OMG Grace: which one? Janis: New boy Janis: The English one Grace: HE DID NOT HIT YOU UP Grace: what really happened Janis: [Screenshot of the friend/message request] Grace: 😱😱😱😱 Janis: Breathe Grace: what did he say about me?? Janis: That you left your coat Janis: That's about it Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: what did you say? Grace: I'll kill you if you were cringe Janis: As if I was talking about you Janis: None of your business is it Grace: OMG Grace: you're not his type babes Janis: You reckon you are? Grace: duh Janis: 😂 Janis: Oh babes Grace: if he screenshots your desperation I don't know you, yeah? Janis: Says the girl who's salty her latest plan to get noticed didn't work Grace: says you Grace: he notices me every time thanks Janis: EVERY time Janis: says it all Janis: get a hobby Grace: get a clue Grace: you know nothing about boys Janis: Letting 'em all get off with you doesn't make you an expert in the field, babes Janis: no matter how much stalking hours you put in Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: oh hun Janis: Ain't coming from me Janis: wanna talk shaming Grace: now I know you're lying Grace: don't be tragic Janis: why would I Janis: you'll get banned if you ain't careful Janis: back to starbies with the other basics Grace: cos you're jealous Grace: as usual Janis: of what Grace: me, bitch Janis: 😂😂😂😂 Janis: You don't want to be you, Gracie Janis: no one else does Janis: least of all me Grace: what ARE you talking about? Janis: Your pathetic lack of self-esteem Janis: if I liked you I'd be sad, tragic 😥 Grace: Mine? 👌 Love yourself first, babes Grace: think about the barista if it helps Janis: save that for your private time Janis: keep me out of it though, people'll talk Grace: 🤒 you're such a freak genuinely Janis: 💔 unlucky you'll never know Grace: EW STOP Janis: what a surprise, gracie can't hack it Grace: If you wanna follow in Ri's footsteps, pick a willing family member Janis: yeah, that's me Janis: desperately tryna be like her in every way ⛾ Grace: if you're gonna be all 😍 for my barista you could do worse Grace: least she knows how to flirt Grace: clueless virgin won't get you very far Janis: 'cos desperate slag's done wonders for you Janis: if I needed advice, I wouldn't go to either of you, but at least she has got somewhere Grace: 👌 devastated obvs Janis: everyone can see it Janis: sad face Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: you've shown yourself up WAY worse with that boy, trust me Janis: Not up to you, gutted Janis: he didn't seem to think so Grace: oh please Janis: nah, no matter how nice you ask Janis: he just ain't feeling you Grace: what's the truth, Jan-Jan, did you talk about me or didn't you? Grace: 🤔🤔 Janis: get a clue, gracie Janis: your details are just as easy to find as mine Janis: easier Grace: like I said, get one yourself first Grace: its as easy to work out we're related, worst luck Janis: you ain't hard to get Janis: just want Grace: says you Grace: can't get through the door for your admirers, can we, babes? Janis: not tryna make it a family affair like you 👌 Grace: not trying Grace: until now, but you went too hard, shame 💔 Janis: surrounding by such great influences Janis: 🤷 what can I do eh Grace: OMG YOU LITERALLY DID NOTHING Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: I wouldn't be smug if I were you though, girl Grace: Such a cliche & not the first time he's tried it Janis: Who's smug? Janis: Just you sounds of Grace: I'm just trying to warn you Grace: I won't bother next time, bitch Grace: OMG so rude Janis: Don't, like Janis: if you had any idea you wouldn't have all the shit exes you do already so go off Grace: if you had any idea I wouldn't have to Grace: this is so embarrassing Grace: he's gonna make you look even more tragic & I can't pretend I don't know you Janis: nah Janis: i don't let boys do that Janis: your kink, not mine Grace: he already is Grace: flirting with you to get MY attention, hello! Janis: is it comfy in there? Grace: 🙄 Wake up, Janis OMG Grace: he's been flirting with me since he got here Janis: Filling your order isn't foreplay Janis: actually gonna catch a case if you don't calm down Grace: cos you'd know Janis: yeah? Grace: You're making me die Grace: cringe fest Janis: 🤞 Janis: 🎂 wishes coming through at last Grace: focus on that cos he isn't gonna make any happen for you, hun Grace: unless you're hoping to be used by a boy who likes me more Janis: that's what boys are for, right? Janis: 😂 Grace: 🙄 Grace: that's why you like girls more, yeah? 👌 Janis: you're the one constantly surrounded Janis: i wouldn't let one sleep in my bed Grace: cos you're too 😍 Grace: it's okay Janis: love the queerbashing Janis: very in Grace: Excuse you Grace: I am not Janis: Yeah you are Janis: stop being a total cunt just 'cos you're sad Grace: I could care less if you're gay Grace: that's not why I don't like you, babes Janis: Yeah, you're just a bitch, cool Grace: You started it Janis: Where? Janis: I got your coat for you Grace: You know I like him, you're breaking girl code Janis: Well I ain't one of the girls, am I Janis: bit late to include me now 'cos it'd benefit you Grace: you're my sister, that's worse Grace: duh Janis: I think you'll survive Grace: like you care Grace: but I'm the bitch, sure Grace: 🙄🙄🙄🙄 Janis: You're just mad that he doesn't want you, that ain't my fault Grace: Stop saying that OMG Grace: you don't know what you're talking about Janis: well I'm the one who managed to have a conversation with him so I know more than you do Janis: doesn't take a genius, come on Grace: You're calling me stupid now too Grace: So rude Janis: You're being it Janis: you don't need to Janis: plenty of boys, plenty of baristas if that's really your speed Grace: Obvs Grace: I don't want your sloppy seconds, thanks Grace: I respect girl code, if you like him then whatever Janis: Nice to know you respect something Grace: Bitch Janis: 👍 Janis: Pleasure as always Grace: Yeah, I know you love coming for me Grace: no secret, babes Janis: Be nice to think this was all about you, I know Grace: You expect me to believe it's about him? You saw him for the first time today Grace: thanks to me Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: he's in loads of my lessons Janis: as if I could ignore the new boy hype you've all been on Grace: Finally you're admitting it Janis: What? That I'd noticed the change in the furniture? Janis: I'M not an idiot Grace: That you're not immune to a hot boy Grace: It's taken you long enough Janis: 😑 Janis: That's what you're taking away from this Janis: really Grace: I know you want me to take away your life changing advice that I'm the worst but Grace: Like I said, you're a bitch Janis: It's not advice Janis: inspiration to change at best Grace: Whatever 🙄 Janis: too much like hard work Janis: it's alright Grace: Excuse you Grace: I always put work in Grace: unlike your effortless chic you're trying to make happen 🙄 Janis: yeah that's what we're talking about Janis: fashion Janis: jesus Grace: Attitude Grace: and yours does need work, babes Janis: 😂 Janis: Where's your getting you but 2nd in command to a cunt and pied by boys left and right Janis: inspirational, truly Grace: Shut up OMG Grace: you don't like my friends or my exes, I'll get over it Janis: No one does Janis: you deal with the leftovers, don't be pouty no one's jealous Grace: You sound soooooooo bitter 🍋 Janis: 💔 Janis: if you like, babes Janis: have that for free, as you're struggling so much Grace: Just 'cos you love a freebie from barista boy Grace: I'm good, thanks 💋 Janis: If you say it enough Janis: you might believe it Janis: positive thinking, yeah, babes? 👍 Grace: 🙄🙄🙄 Grace: try it for me, yeah, babes? ty Grace: you're gonna need all the help you can get now you've got a boyfriend Janis: Behave Grace: You will enough for the both of us Grace: I give it a couple of days before he's bored Janis: 😂 Janis: so concerned with MY sex life Janis: how long's it been, babes? Grace: the day I talk about mine with you is the day I off myself Grace: it's cringe enough chatting to you about things you think you have a clue on Janis: please Janis: you don't talk about anything else Janis: you've got nothing else Grace: you wish, weirdo Janis: 😂 Janis: awh, your comebacks haven't gotten any better Grace: You don't deserve my best, hun Grace: 😘 Janis: I can't begin to get into how tragic you are Janis: at least Monroe had an honest to God sad backstory and drug habit Janis: sort it out, do us all a favour Grace: I do have you as a sister, that's really tragic Grace: Sadly you won't ever let me help you sort yourself out Janis: You're a mess Janis: you have no business trying to sort anyone, state Grace: 😂😂😂 Grace: sure Jan Janis: Laugh it off babe Grace: I'm trying Grace: But you're not very funny Janis: It's your life Janis: I'm telling you, it's really sad Janis: but you insist otherwise so you deal with it Grace: OMG get over yourself Grace: I'm not here for a counselling session Janis: Thank God Janis: you've not got the self-awareness, I've not got the relevant qualifications to deal with your insanity Janis: disaster Grace: It's called self awareness not 'Janis tells me what I am' Janis: And you get neither Janis: boo hoo Grace: I'll get over it, I'm sure Grace: God, if this is what that boy likes, I'm well out of it Janis: Bold Janis: When have you got over anything bigger than split ends, Gracie Janis: and I ain't trying to chirps you Janis: something you seem to be having a lot of trouble with Grace: We've established my backstory isn't tragic enough, sorry babe Grace: Even with you trying to 💔 Janis: 😂 Trying Janis: that's your game Grace: 🙄🙄 Janis: i'm off Janis: be sure to check your pockets for secret love notes i'm sure he left you Janis: 🤞 Grace: yay Grace: let the door hit you on the way out

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Buster

Rio: Quick, gimme a place I could be going

Buster: Where do scumbag lads from the 24 holiday?

Rio: 😑

Rio: Safe to say nowhere that looks like the French Riviera

Rio: going somewhere without phone signal guys, no there won't be pics to show you when I'm back either, bye

Buster: For real though, you could say you've got a job somewhere

Buster: No tourist shots 'cause you're working so hard, like

Buster: Under lock and key serving those drinks

Rio: Hmm

Rio: might work

Rio: can just say it was shit when I come back after no time at all

Buster: When you're getting picking grapes at a vineyard but don't get picked by the man of your dreams 💔

Buster: You just can't get the daddies these days, babe

Rio: 😂 Shut up

Rio: clearly past it but you don't need to rub it in

Buster: You shut up

Buster: You're with me, you've never looked better

Rio: Firstly, that's the point, no I ain't

Rio: Stick to the story boy!

Buster: 😂

Buster: Didn't realise you were screenshotting this convo, like

Rio: Obviously

Rio: Everyone so highkey

Rio: Like no one's questioning Nance what she's really doing or who she's going with 🙄

Buster: If you wanna go gay so nobody questions why you're coming with me you probably should've put some groundwork in before now

Buster: Better go kiss some hot girls quick, like

Rio: Very subtle, babe

Rio: Been there, done that

Rio: still don't think it's gonna be bought

Buster: 😏

Buster: Have you actually?

Rio: 🙄

Rio: FOCUS

Buster: I am

Buster: On that

Rio: Thought you didn't like sharing?

Rio: Double standard, like

Buster: It was before me so I'm not

Rio: Hmm

Rio: Not dying to know all the hot lads I've kissed though are you 😂

Buster: We can compare numbers if you want, babe

Buster: No shame here

Rio: Knew it 😏

Rio: Posh boys

Buster: It's not my fault if half the boys at school are in love with me

Buster: Irresistible, aren't I

Rio: So charitable

Buster: Well, I was gonna take you shopping before we go but if you don't wanna then fine

Rio: I was being nice

Rio: 😇

Buster: I reckon you can be nicer

Rio: Fine

Rio: I'll tell you all about the hot girls

Buster: Yeah?

Rio: but first 💳 me

Buster: Fine

Buster: I was being purely selfish anyway, there's so much shit I need before we can go

Rio: Jokes, babe

Rio: Same though

Rio: Last year's bikini ain't gonna cut it

Buster: Honestly, you can't be showing me up even if you are safe from the socials

Buster: So tell me what you need

Rio: I ain't walking 50 paces behind you

Rio: even if you've got lanky ass legs

Buster: Please, I could get you to do anything

Buster: But there's no fun in that, you gotta walk in front if anything

Rio: Keep it up and I'm walking away fr

Rio: Birthday boy or nah

Buster: 😂

Buster: Try it, I'm faster than you, and I'll easily just pick you up and carry you away, babe

Rio: 😠 Try it

Rio: 👊

Buster: I will if I have to

Rio: I wouldn't if I were you, I couldn't find you anything special so I'm like half your present still

Rio: Keep me on side, trust

Buster: You're protesting too much. You know you'd love it

Rio: Shh

Rio: You're being very unhelpful when I'm sat here tryna swear blind I ain't going away with a lad

Buster: You should just admit you are

Buster: That way we don't have to keep the bruising to a discrete minimum

Rio: Effort though

Rio: creating a fake mans, easiest way to get caught out

Buster: I'm real

Buster: Just don't use my name or family tree, obviously

Rio: Work on my mates

Rio: Not sure if the fam is that dim

Rio: hmm, sounds vaguely familiar 😂

Buster: How many details do they need?

Buster: Fucking hell

Buster: None of your business fam 😂

Rio: You have no idea 🙄

Rio: Perks of avoiding 'em truly

Buster: All your exes drop in with a CV and blood sample or what, like?

Rio: Don't

Rio: You know my 'rents out here making 'em part of the fam when we're like 2 weeks in

Rio: irony not escaping me 😬

Buster: We're literally never telling 'em

Buster: I'd have to dump you

Buster: Christ

Rio: What have I been saying?

Buster: How the fuck have our parents got such different vibes?

Rio: I know, how did my Ma happen tbh? 😂

Buster: She fits in to this fam's whole touchy feeling mood

Buster: It's my 'rents who are keeping that professional distance

Rio: You reckon?

Rio: It's a pretty even split tbh

Rio: how often are we seeing Joe, like

Buster: True

Buster: But like, I told my dad the birthday plan, cool place, hot girl, and he hit with an eyebrow and moved on

Buster: Nan and Granddad spinning in the graves they ain't yet in

Rio: Don't jinx 'em like

Rio: but nah

Rio: I reckon they just reckon that's how you prefer it

Rio: Little enthusiasm wouldn't hurt, though

Buster: Maybe they used it all on Nance's ideas

Buster: Gotta make sure she doesn't dramatically throw herself into the sea or some shit

Rio: I'm telling ya

Rio: Gon' be sipping cocktails with a babe in some naff resort

Rio: Got you all so fooled with this artsy shit

Buster: 😂

Buster: Benidorm with a butch

Rio: I'm glad you went for that joke 'cos it's too soon for Costa Del Sol with a cougar, like

Buster: Don't start me on the whole MILF thing

Buster: 🙄

Rio: Poor Nance

Buster: You've gotta draw the line when she's got actual existing kids

Buster: I'm not trying to be that kind of daddy

Rio: Don't think she planned on bringing the kids along, like

Rio: So not part of the fantasy

Buster: Don't

Buster: Never say fantasy in relation to Nance again, yeah?

Rio: Got it

Rio: That's a line I'm fine not crossing, don't worry

Buster: Better be

Buster: If you tell me she's one of the hot girls you've kissed we're over

Rio: Don't be twisted

Buster: I'm just saying

Buster: No need to take the sibling rivalry there

Rio: Gross

Rio: safe to assume I ain't her type either, like

Buster: Unlucky babe

Rio: 💔

Rio: Guess you'll do

Buster: Fuck off

Buster: You love me

Rio: Yeah

Rio: you know

Buster: Say it though

Rio: I love you

Rio: Idiot

Buster: You better

Buster: I'm sharing my birthday with you

Buster: Haven't done that since I was a kid, cheers

Rio: Hey, I'm fine with a party bag, babe

Rio: All about you

Buster: I'm not gonna hit you with a slice of cake and send you on your way

Buster: Don't worry

Rio: Good to know

Rio: Bit of a trek for some Colin the catterpillar tbh

Rio: love you and everything but

Buster: 😂

Buster: You think my mum ever gave us that? Come on

Rio: And you tryna say they're so zoned out

Buster: Always ready to brag, every single one of us

Rio: You know I had the best though

Rio: 👸

Buster: 'Course

Rio: When ur first daddy just spoils you too hard, like

Rio: 💁

Buster: Explains a lot

Rio: wys boy

Buster: 😏

Rio: Rude

Rio: 😣 Imma stay here if you're not being nice

Buster: It ain't. You know I like it

Buster: Start shopping, babe, you'll see how nice I'm ready to be

Rio: Ain't even got your bday money yet baby

Buster: We're spending that when we're there

Rio: Exactly, so I got me

Buster: It's my birthday you have to do what I want

Rio: But

Buster: But nothing

Buster: I've got you

Rio: Okay

Rio: I won't argue

Rio: bday rules and all

Buster: Good

Rio: How many out out outfits do I need?

Buster: like 4

Rio: Right

Rio: I can make this work

Buster: No doubt

Buster: Not to sound like my sister but I swear I'm over my entire wardrobe right now

Rio: 😂

Rio: Any excuse

Buster: Babe you can laugh but what the fuck is some of this? Like seriously

Rio: 😏 I mean

Rio: sure I tried to tell you at the time

Buster: I find that hard to believe

Buster: You always manage to make yourself heard somehow

Rio: I know

Rio: Impressive, isn't it?

Buster: One word for it

Rio: Come on, ain't trying keep you quiet

Rio: say what you mean, babe

Buster: Don't distract me, I'm very busy 😏

Rio: Having a wardrobe crisis, sure

Rio: Promise, don't care what you're wearing

Buster: Alright, catch me in the finest the 24 has to offer

Rio: Hoping to catch you out of 'em like but alright

Buster: You don't need hope

Buster: Just determination

Buster: Have you thought of your lie yet?

Rio: Planning to be hard to get all of a sudden?

Rio: I'm just gonna not lie

Rio: but be vague, obviously

Rio: social media ban should keep from suspicion, been to enough places I can describe a generic hol, like

Buster: Well, you're always saying I'm vague and you'll know where I am if you need a hand

Buster: Have you been too enough places with shit WIFI to make that believable though?

Rio: 😩 idk

Rio: its stressing me

Rio: maybe you're camera shy

Rio: or ugly as hell

Buster: Baby calm down it's alright

Buster: This is meant to be a good thing, yeah?

Buster: Me and you together celebrating

Rio: I know

Rio: I'm sorry

Rio: Everyone can just respectfully fuck off for a bit

Rio: It'll be good, I will, promise

Buster: I love you

Buster: And we're gonna figure this out

Rio: I love you too

Rio: pisses me off 'cos it feels needless

Rio: I know we have to and it ain't but, shouldn't have to be this much of a drama

Buster: Yeah, I know

Buster: I know what I said about keeping your fam in the dark forever and tempting as it is, I swear it won't always be like this

Rio: Don't chuck me

Buster: Don't be an idiot

Rio: It's what you said

Buster: Come on

Rio: I know

Rio: this is why we ain't telling

Rio: talk about an awkward breakup

Rio: imagine if your 'rents had

Rio: did they ever think of that like, could hardly avoid each other

Buster: Maybe they did but they couldn't handle the awkwardness

Buster: Fuck staying together for the kids, they had to do it for the whole fam's sake, like

Rio: Oh my God

Rio: what I'm saying, really trapped themselves

Rio: 😬

Buster: If you get sick of me give me warning so I can move to another country, yeah?

Rio: 'Course

Rio: least I could do

Buster: Cheers

Rio: Promise I won't get all psycho Chlo about it either

Buster: Don't

Buster: I see her at school so often it's got me so jumpy every time I walk past a mirror I cross myself in case she appears

Rio: Yeah, that is shit

Rio: at least I don't HAVE to be anywhere Ryan is

Rio: can hardly walk out or tell her to leave

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Speaking of that cunt though, how's he been behaving?

Rio: Been pretty quiet

Rio: knock on wood, like

Rio: saw him in town once and he was his usual charming self but that was just chance so

Buster: Glad I don't have to waste a wish on that then

Rio: Definitely not

Rio: Lucky that, really don't fancy adding him to the list of people I gotta give the dl on where I'm going 😂

Buster: Lucky 'cause I don't fancy you getting mad at me when I knock him out, more like

Rio: Oh, babe

Rio: forget about him, I am

Buster: Sorry

Rio: Don't be

Rio: You're cute, and I wouldn't be mad on principle

Buster: I hate that I can't protect you from all his shit, that's all

Rio: I know

Rio: but it ain't that bad

Buster: I get that you can handle it, I'm not saying that, I just don't want you to have to

Buster: If I could be the protective boyfriend and warn him off everything would be fine but

Rio: Maybe but

Rio: maybe not

Rio: he's just a prick

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Fuck him, we don't need to talk about him anymore

Rio: Agreed

Rio: Maybe I can get a job out there

Rio: in the casinos, hmm

Buster: We're meant to be playing hard not working hard, babe

Rio: You know I gotta hustle

Rio: I'm over the angel fr

Buster: Get a London job when we get back, then I'll never have to miss you

Rio: That'd be nice

Rio: But we both know I can't

Buster: Lie to me

Buster: I want you here all the time

Rio: I wanna be with you all the time too

Rio: Again, one day

Rio: I think Drew would at least cover Indie's rent but she shouldn't be alone, she's still a kid

Buster: Yeah, I know

Buster: You wouldn't be you if you didn't look out for her

Buster: And I quite like you so

Rio: 😏 Steady

Rio: Don't get all mushy

Buster: 'Course not

Buster: Who do you think I am?

Rio: Was gonna say

Rio: slow down and wait for me if you've already started your celebrations, like

Buster: I wish

Rio: We'll be making up for lost time so soon baby

Buster: You gonna jump out of a cake for me?

Rio: Couldn't get Dad to bake me in

Rio: Spoilsport much

Buster: 😂

Buster: To be a fly on the wall for that convo, though

Rio: He knows I'm extra but

Buster: Unfair 'cause I'm always insisting you keep my secrets but you're such an open book, babe

Rio: I dunno

Rio: I kinda like it just being me who knows

Rio: How selfish

Buster: I'm well proud

Buster: You really are learning

Rio: Bound to happen eventually

Rio: So persistent, babe 😉

Buster: What can I say? You're worth putting the work in

Rio: 😚

Rio: Baby

Buster: I'm not going soft, don't worry

Buster: I'll be rude to you later, I'm sure

Rio: Be the rudest if you did go soft on me

Rio: Ultimate insult

Buster: Fuck that

Buster: I could never

Rio: Happens to the best of us, don't worry 😂

Buster: Shut up

Rio: Really, nothing to be embarrassed about babe

Buster: Are you trying to jinx me or what?

Buster: Good luck

Rio: Just giving you something to prove

Rio: you're so adorable when you're mad

Buster: You trying to say I've still gotta prove myself to you?

Rio: No

Rio: I'm saying I like it when you do

Buster: Yeah?

Rio: Yeah

Rio: been too long

Buster: I miss you too, babe

Rio: It's so stupid

Rio: not even gone yet and already thinking about how much I'll miss you when we're back

Buster: It's shit

Buster: But it'll be Christmas hols before we know it and nobody can bat an eyelid about us being together then

Rio: Hooray for forced family time, yeah?

Rio: Don't let anyone hear YOU saying that though, so suspect

Buster: You know I don't waste my time talking to any of that lot

Rio: Hmm

Rio: So bad 😏

Buster: I wonder if Nance will be in a better mood with me by then

Buster: Don't really wanna have to do a whole secret santa vibe

Rio: Season of goodwill

Rio: Can put hope

Rio: add it to your wishlist now, like

Buster: I'll start thinking about her gift soon

Buster: Go big or go home, literally maybe

Rio: Work on that Winter wardrobe

Buster: Maybe I can send her on another trip, get her out of my way and do a nice thing all at once

Rio: Maybe

Rio: Sure you don't wanna spend time with her though?

Buster: You're funny

Rio: I'm not joking, like

Buster: Well, it's still hilarious

Buster: I'm trying to get her on side not further off

Rio: Maybe it is running before you can walk

Rio: still, gotta start somewhere, babe

Buster: You do, you mean

Buster: You're well determined to sort this, aren't you?

Rio: Your relationship with your family?

Rio: Duh

Buster: You're cute

Buster: Annoying but cute

Rio: What, like you want it like this

Rio: Come on now

Buster: Like it matters how I want it

Buster: I don't get to fuck up and still call the shots

Rio: It does matter

Rio: and she's not renounced you

Rio: it ain't that deep

Rio: not quite

Buster: Whatever

Buster: I can't make her talk to me

Buster: She's not you

Rio: I'll lock you in a room like

Rio: she can be mad at me then instead

Buster: Don't you dare

Rio: 😂

Rio: Don't be a baby

Buster: Don't start

Buster: You were behaving

Rio: Only lasts for so long

Rio: Do something about it if you're mad

Buster: Nice try

Buster: I'm not gonna make it that easy for you to get what you want

Rio: 😒

Rio: I'm so offended

Buster: Don't be a baby

Rio: 😲

Rio: Touche

Buster: 😏

Rio: 😣

Buster: Are you giving up just like that, babe?

Rio: I'm very busy don't distract me

Buster: Touche

Buster: But you didn't listen when I said it, so don't expect me too

Rio: I'll leave you to it then

Rio: So sorry

Buster: Don't

Rio: Sure?

Buster: Stay

Rio: 'Course

Rio: You don't want a kitten, do you?

Buster: You've got so many jokes today

Rio: We're giving Nancy one

Rio: Ma found a pregnant cat

Rio: they're so cute

Buster: 'Course she did

Buster: Sounds like you want me to have one so you can, babe

Rio: Shh

Rio: stop foiling my plans

Rio: [pics]

Buster: I'm not raising a baby with you

Rio: Cats are so low maintenance

Rio: it will keep you company

Buster: Good for them 'cause I ain't

Buster: Also not lonely, like

Rio: Boo

Buster: Take one for Indie, I'm sure she'd be buzzing

Buster: So would the cat if they can get high, like, but

Rio: I'm definitely not giving you one now

Rio: don't get a cat stoned, you monster 😂

Rio: and Indie wants a dog

Buster: Dogs can definitely get high, right?

Buster: Sure I've seen that online before

Buster: Indie'll have to clean up her act

Rio: We'll see if that's strong enough incentive

Rio: I doubt it but

Buster: Yeah

Buster: She'd have to get pregnant to make that stick I reckon and nobody's ready for that

Rio: Don't even play

Rio: Jesus

Buster: Just saying

Buster: Unlikely you'll be taking care of a puppy or kitten any time soon

Rio: We can have a dog

Rio: not like she's gonna be blowing smoke in the poor things face

Rio: so dramatic

Buster: You don't reckon you've got enough responsibility with her and the flat?

Buster: More fool you

Rio: Only got to walk and feed it

Rio: waaayyy easier than Indie

Buster: True

Buster: What isn't though?

Rio: Bless her

Buster: Maybe I can throw a kitten Chlo's way

Buster: Properly distract her

Buster: She'd probably call it a love token though, yeah?

Rio: Um yeah

Rio: may as well wife her now, like

Rio: no no

Rio: and she ain't having one of mine 😒

Buster: What so you're gonna keep them all?

Rio: Have you been to my gaff?

Rio: Probably 😂

Rio: if Ma knows people who might want 'em then they'll go

Buster: I can't believe you're giving my sister one

Rio: She's so buzzing

Rio: Easy bday present forreal, unlike some

Buster: I thought you were my present

Buster: So unless you're gonna be difficult

Rio: I had to get you something

Rio: Don't get too excited though

Rio: well, can about me

Rio: standard 😉

Buster: I was gonna say

Buster: Don't do yourself down, babe

Rio: Please

Buster: I mean, do put the work in still

Buster: As much as I miss you, you've still gotta bring it

Rio: When have I ever done anything less?

Buster: I can't lie, you ain't yet but you know

Buster: You might get bored of all this

Rio: You gonna stop bringing it too?

Rio: 'Cos that's the only way that's happening

Buster: Please

Buster: That shit's impossible

Rio: Glad to hear it, babe

Buster: I love you

Rio: Love you

Buster: I wish we could go now

Buster: With or without your fam's need for details being satisfied

Rio: Me too

Rio: I don't care no more

Rio: think I'm drug trafficking if you like

Rio: save the intervention 'til I'm back, though

Buster: 😂

Buster: Seriously, it's bad enough that I can't brag that I'm with you day to day, on my birthday when you're the gift that keeps giving, I should be able to

Rio: Babe

Rio: You're so cute

Buster: Shhh

Buster: You know I'm speaking the truth

Buster: So over not being able to pose with you ever

Rio: I know

Rio: Me too

Rio: but it's still worth it

Buster: 'Course

Buster: Don't ever think I'm saying it ain't, yeah?

Buster: Unless I actually do, but that's not happening

Rio: Got it

Rio: When do you reckon we can tell people

Rio: or if we should

Buster: I'll tell them now if you want

Buster: Just say the word

Rio: You don't wanna do that

Rio: time for celebration yeah

Buster: I want you

Buster: It's too late for them to take their gifts back if they ain't still in the mood to celebrate

Rio: Priorities

Buster: When do you wanna do it? Sat around the Christmas tree, like?

Buster: There's never gonna be a good time

Rio: Exactly

Rio: I'm scared

Buster: I know

Buster: But whatever happens, you're safe with me

Buster: I'm not going anywhere, not without you

Rio: Yeah

Rio: I feel it, I really do

Rio: We'll think about it, but we've got fun to have first, like

Buster: Just think, they can't all hate us, there's so many of them, that's basic probability, yeah? Someone's gotta be alright with it

Buster: It's not like any of the fam actually have room to judge anyway

Rio: It's a number's game, yeah? 😂

Rio: Already thinking like you in that casino

Rio: I don't want any of them to hate us, is the issue but you know

Rio: gotta be real

Rio: it's too hard to live like this and think it's forever, nah

Buster: You know it, babe 🎲 I'm so ready

Buster: Yeah, but I don't reckon anyone will

Buster: Not with all the shit this fam has been through already

Buster: And like you said, even if there's drama, it's gotta be done

Rio: Same 💃

Rio: I don't wanna think about it anymore, distract me

Buster: Okay baby

Buster: [Sends pics]

Buster: Think about me

Rio: How could I think about anything else now? 😻

Rio: Why you so good

Buster: Spending too much time with you, obviously

Rio: I mean #myinfluence

Rio: Your nude game has no doubt gone ⬆

Buster: Doing yourself a favor is the ultimate selfishness

Buster: Well done

Buster: So proud

Rio: See? I knew what I was doing all along 😚

Rio: Basic rules of karma, send good nudes and you shall receive

Buster: I'll ignore the implication that my angles were for shit before, yeah?

Buster: 'Cause when you asked for a distraction I don't reckon you wanted a fight

Rio: Come on 😏 Gimme that

Rio: you can say you've my fair lady'd me if you want

Buster: I'll let you have it 'cause I know I wasn't trying for the girls in this postcode

Buster: If you promise not to get too fancy on me

Rio: I'm not gonna be the one to call myself a bit of rough but we all thinking it

Buster: I was gonna say real

Buster: But alright

Rio: I prefer that

Buster: Whatever we're calling it, it's working for me

Buster: I like you

Rio: Works for me

Rio: You're not so bad yourself too so

Buster: Yeah, I know

Buster: 😏

Rio: Letting you have it

Buster: What else are you gonna let me have before it's officially my birthday?

Rio: Not your presents, if that's what you're thinking

Buster: Come on

Buster: I'll act proper surprised on the day

Rio: 😏

Rio: Was about to doubt your acting ability but we've pulled this off so far so maybe you can be trusted

Buster: No need to ever doubt me, babe

Buster: I'm that good

Rio: Okay, just one, like

Rio: Mum enough for you? 😂

Buster: 😂

Buster: OG MILF

Buster: Nance missed a trick there

Rio: It's frankly insulting

Rio: she's seen me in peak ma action and still not feeling it

Buster: Poor baby

Buster: I got all the good taste, that's all

Rio: 😻

Rio: Gonna let you have that too, not just to save my ego

Buster: You know it's true too

Buster: You've always been my type, babe

Rio: Yeah?

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Don't let the torture like kiss fool you

Buster: I reckoned it was gonna be my finest moment, at the time

Rio: It was perfect

Buster: Babe

Buster: Don't lie

Rio: I mean

Rio: obviously it wasn't the most technically perfect but

Rio: I'm glad it was you

Buster: Me too

Buster: My mum and dad talk a lot of shit but there's something to be said for having firsts with someone

Buster: Someone you actually want

Rio: Yeah

Rio: never good to look back on someone you've been with and really think, what the fuck

Buster: I've got enough of them without adding you to the list

Rio: Same frankly

Rio: Gotta try and keep the number down

Buster: Exactly

Buster: Why I don't do repeats

Rio: Well, the idea is repeat when you like 'em

Rio: not guaranteed you won't regret but you know, better odds in that category

Buster: 'Course

Rio: Have you ever slept with the same person more than once though?

Rio: Surely

Buster: Yeah. You

Buster: I mean, when I was a kid I did all my firsts with the same girl but once we fucked she chucked me so

Buster: Lesson learned

Rio: Awh

Rio: How mean

Buster: She regretted it

Buster: Not my bad, like I was obviously incredible but

Rio: Naturally

Rio: Nah, most people do

Rio: well, from what I can gather, the girls do and the boys were just scared then underwhelmed by it all

Rio: oh god, do not take me back, like

Buster: Same

Buster: Granted there's a lot of shit I could and would do better or not bother doing in the first place but like

Buster: Nah

Rio: Yeah, can't waste your time on that

Rio: who knows who or where you'd be now if you did it different, like

Buster: Cunt then, cunt now

Buster: It doesn't matter

Rio: Shut up

Rio: You are not

Rio: and you weren't that bad, anyway, we're all entitled to that phase

Buster: You're so biased

Buster: Just always loved me

Buster: Can't get enough of it

Rio: 😏

Rio: Why do you want me to think you're a cunt so bad, honestly

Buster: 'Cause I am

Buster: And you're too smart to buy into my bullshit, yeah?

Rio: I am

Rio: but you might not be if you're actually convinced you're a bad person, like

Buster: I'm not saying I'm 😈 just that I ain't a good person, let's be honest

Buster: Chlo reckons you can't buy class but what you can't buy is a decent set of morals

Rio: You are

Rio: You've just done some shit things and who hasn't

Buster: Like I said, you're shamelessly influenced by your 😍

Buster: I'm not mad about it though

Rio: 😑

Rio: No

Buster: Don't get mad about it yourself

Rio: I'm not mad just

Rio: You should know you aren't a bad person

Buster: Give me another year of being stuck here being a cunt first

Buster: 'Cause I know there ain't much I can do about that

Rio: That don't count, they don't deserve nice things or you

Buster: Stay with me though, yeah? Even though you do

Rio: I will because you are

Rio: You're good where it counts

Rio: and you're gonna make things up with Nancy you know

Buster: I'm gonna try

Buster: Patience is one thing I am good at, like

Buster: Get it done in the end

Rio: Exactly, you wouldn't give a shit if you were an actual cunt

Buster: I'm sure not every cunt is an only child, babe

Buster: She's still my sister

Rio: Stop fighting it

Rio: Accept your 😇

Buster: Alright

Buster: But only 'cause I'm hoping it means you get to be 😈

Rio: Might make an exception for you, babe

Rio: 'cos you know, I'm practically perfect in every way, like

Buster: Yeah

Buster: Perfect for me, which means you know when to be good and when not to

Buster: So please

Rio: Okay

Rio: I'm convinced 😈

Buster: Glad to hear it

Buster: Call me until I'm convinced too

Rio: 🤤 Sir yes sir