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fieryfairie · 4 years

Text

Colors (A Jackbeom AU)

“Jack Jack, she said yes. I finally have her as my girlfriend.” Jackson Wang stared at the messages that his bestfriend JB sent him. He tried to process everything, but his mind still can’t catch with the news. Yes, Jackson did advise JB to tell Yeri how he felt. But, he did it as a joke. Now, Jackson must revise his plan that took him days to plan. How would he tell his bestfriend about how he felt especially now that a deadline has been set? The deadline is getting near. His leg started bouncing up and down. This has always been his mannerism when he is anxious. Being broken-hearted is the least of his concern. He needs to tell JB about everything bef— while he still can.

“Sweetie, are you okay? We need to go now so that we won’t be late for our appointment.” Mama Wang gently sat beside her sweet son. She brushed some hair away from eyes and his son rewarded her with a wide smile. “I’m alright, Mama! Let’s go.” They stood up together and went to the car where Papa Wang is waiting. “Hyung, meet me in our usual place. Be there by 5.” Jackson quickly hid his phone after sending the text to JB. He closed his eyes and decided to take a short nap to stop himself from thinking about everything. Besides, the piercing headache he has is definitely not helping.

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Lim Jaebom frowned. This is the first time that he received a serious message from Jackson. Usually, the other boy’s message would be full of emojis. This is not the reaction that he expected to get after dropping the bomb to his favorite dongsaeng and bestfriend. “Maybe he just wants to congratulate me in person and catch up with what happened at summer camp.” He sighed. He remembered being in shock when Jackson told him that he will not be able to join the summer camp. He felt betrayed. They have been planning to go since they entered college. It was their promise. A promise that Jackson was not able to keep. JB lets out another sigh. He’s sure that Jackson has his reasons. “Hey babe, what’s with the long face? Did your boyfriend Jackson take the news badly?” Yeri laughed and sat next to her boyfriend. Jaebum continued pouting. He smirked and jokingly said, “He’s mad that someone else caught my eye”. JB leaned his head on Yeri’s shoulder. He held her hand and silently fiddled with the bracelet that he got her on their first day as a couple. He’s delighted to final date his long-time crush, but he seriously misses his best buddy. He thought that Jackson would get in touch with him while he is on summer camp. Wrong. The last message that he received from the guy was the day before the start of summer camp. The message was : “Have fun JB! Enjoy every moment for me. PS maybe it is time to confess haha”. Typical Jackson. However, JB can’t shake the ominous feeling that he got from the message.

“Yeri” Jaebeom gripped his girlfriend’s hand. Yeri mumbled a silent yes. “I’ll be meeting Jackson later. For some reason, it feels like he needs to tell me something serious.” Yeri giggled. “Maybe he just misses his favorite hyung.” Jaebeom did not reply. He closed his eyes. His thoughts immediately went to Jackson.

The two met when they got paired on a group project on their Song Writing class. JB was a bit overwhelmed by Jackson’s energy but they got a long fine. He admired Jackson’s perseverance. Not many people know that JB was able to find his song-writing muse through Jackson. “You can be whatever color you want to be, Hyung!” They were able to produce a song that JB can call his own. They got so closed to the point that they were able to share dreams and aspiration with each other. Jackson became a valuable existence to Jaebum. They promised that they would debut in one group. Both held on this promise strongly. This is the reason why Jackson not attending the summer camp came as a big surprise to Jaebum. They both are looking forward to attending the camp because some agency scouts would come and spot potential talents. The other lad has also been ignoring the older man’s messages. “I’ll get my answers later.” Jaebum tried to reassure himself. In the meantime, he would enjoy his girlfriend’s company first. He’ll interrogate Jackson later.

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Now Playing: Let Me – Got7

It’s a nice spring afternoon and the waves are lazily splashing on the sand. A young can be seen sitting on the sand by himself. It looks like a sad painting with gray clouds hovering over the setting sun.

Jackson has his eyes closed as he takes in the sound of the waves. “Are you sure you’re pushing through with the operation?” “We can not guarantee anything at this point.” Jackson tried to block his thoughts by increasing the volume of his phone. It’s too late now to go back on his decision. Besides, he is here to talk to his JB. How would his hyung react on all the things that he says to say, all the things that he must confess? The song changed to the one that the two of them wrote together. Jackson enjoyed the time that they had writing the song. He smiled at the memory of JB pouting because they had a writer’s block. This was also the time when Jackson started developing feelings for the older man. It started with a little crush. God knows he tried everything to erase his feelings for JB. He’s perfectly fine with the relationship that they have. He doesn’t want his selfishness to ruin their closeness. He promised himself that he will keep his feelings a secret. He wants JB to continue smiling. Even if it is because of a different person. He would kill just so JB can keep his smile.

But everything has change. One cold February morning, his parents rushed him to the hospital after failing to wake him up after multiple attempts. The results showed the worst. He remembered waking up and seeing both his parents crying on the foot of his hospital bed. The feeling of pain and anguish surged in his whole being. “This cannot be happening!” Jackson thought to himself. He did not shed any tear. Crying would only further break his parents’ hearts. “I’ll get better, Mama. Trust Me!” Jackson comforted his mother. He did his best fake smile. “Don’t break down. Don’t let them see you crying. Be strong.” The poor boy kept on repeating this to himself.

Jackson broke out of his trance when he heard footsteps approaching. He turned around and saw Jaebeom waving goodbye at Yeri. His eyes met with Yeri’s. They exchanged a small smile before Jackson turned back to return his gaze on the sea. A few seconds later, he felt JB sitting next to him while wrapping his arms around the younger man’s shoulder. “So, ready to tell me everything?” Jackson froze. He let out a small sigh. He gathered up his courage and turned his head to look at his hyung.

This time, it was Jaebeom’s turn to freeze. Jackson looks different. The Jackson beside him lost weight and dark circles covered his eyes. His lips are pale, and his complexion looks sickly. His eyes. Especially his eyes. Jackson’s eyes lost the warmth and brightness that they used to have. The eyes that JB have grown to love because they can always see through him. One look at Jackson’s eyes and he can have the courage to pursue his own color. His eyes gave JB the assurance that atleast one person in the world knows the real him. He unconsciously caressed Jackson’s cheeks. “Jackson. Please tell me everything.” It sounded more as a sorrowful plea than a demand.

A thousand years started to play in Jackson’s song.

Heart beats fast. Colors and promises. How to be brave? How can I love when I’m afraid to fall? But watching you stand alone; all of my doubts suddenly goes away somehow. One step closer.

“Hyung” Jackson let out a bitter laugh. He once again looked straight at JB’s eyes. With lips trembling, he started to pour out his heart out. “I’m sorry if it’s a little too late to say this. I have loved you since we were paired in our Song Writing class. My admiration for you turned into something more intimate. Honestly, I tried everything to erase my feelings for you. I don’t want my petty feeling to destroy what we have. I know it is selfish, but I want to see you smiling all the time. Even if those smiles are not for me anymore. Even if I am no longer by your side.” Jackson stopped. He closed his eyes as he gathered his remaining courage to tell JB that he might be leaving. Permanently. “I have cancer. My operation in two days cannot guarantee my survival.”

I have died everyday waiting for you. Darling don’t be afraid. I have loved you for a thousand years. I loved you for a thousand more.

The sea breeze blows colder. Jackson opened his eyes slowly, afraid to see the reaction on his hyung’s face. A small tear silently ran down Jaebum’s face. JB was not able to hold in his sadness. He’s in shock. The feeling of anguish and betrayal burst out of him. He doesn’t know how to react at all. How would a normal person respond to the love confession of his bestfriend and the fact that he might be die soon? Yes, he felt betrayed. How can Jackson hide this from him? Did he not trust JB? He would easily choose Jackson more than the summer camp. More than everything that happened in the summer camp. He would let it all go in exchange of being with Jackson when he needed JB the most. Jaebum’s body betrayed him. Tears continuously to flow down his face with his mouth agape. If he would have only known earlier…

Time stands still. Beauty in all he is. I will be brave. I will not let anything take away what standing in front of me. Every breathe, every hour has come to this. One step closer.

Jaebum pulled Jackson into a tight hug. “I don’t know the reason why you are just telling me all of these important things a bit too late.” He stammered. “I’m sorry hyung”, Jackson choked unable to stop himself from crying. He’s always vulnerable infront of Jaebum. “This time, please allow me to stay by your side. I’ll forgive you with this.” Jaebum broke the hug and cupped Jackson’s face with his hands. Jackson nodded continuously like a scolded puppy. “Promise me you’ll not leave me. After everything is over, I’ll give you a proper reply to your confession.” He helped Jackson stand up and tried to wipe the tears off the younger boy’s face. “Stop crying now, Jack Jack. Mama Wang might think that I made you cry.” JB teased. He grabbed Jackson’s shoulder so that they are walking side by side. After they had one last look at the beach where they usually hang out, they both headed to the Wang’s residence.

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After a week.

A young man in a suit can be seen standing in the beach for God knows how long. He looks to be in deep thought as if remembering something or someone precious. He is holding a bouquet of white roses. He smiled when he heard someone approaching.

“Im Jaebum!”

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