#very cute very tweedy

[daguerreotyping]

Carte de visite of a smartly dressed young man in flat cap and gloves, c. 1890s

#very cute very tweedy #probably has a bicycle just out of frame #19th century #19th century photography #19th century fashion #carte de visite #cdv #fashion history #historical fashion #men's fashion #1800s #1890s #tweed

[franki-lew-yo]

inb4 nicer post than my last one:

I saw Chicken Run 2. It's pretty cute. Definitely not as big a letdown or wasted like a Pixar sequel is.

Keep in mind I think I'm one of the few people in existence who's never itching to get sequels and continuations of my fandoms. I never wanted a Finding Nemo sequel and Finding Dory broke my heart in the worst way; by having unlimited potential and squandering it and the characters I love.

Chicken Run: Dawn of the Nugget doesn't do that, happy to say. Mostly it's just underwhelming.

It's weird. I'm definitely not a better writer than these professional writers, I just find myself going "why didn't you have the characters do/say THIS instead? It would still be cinematic and in character". I'd have to rewatch to give you a play-by-play of exactly what I mean. Overall I'd call that a nitpick. Bigger criticisms, especially when this is a sequel to a 20 y old film with fans who've seen in hundreds of times and know the details:

Hated how they retconed the chicks at the end of the original. You Thanos snapped Bunty and Fowler and possibly some of Rocky and Ginger's children. Also, those little 100% chicks were adorable. I'm okay with Molly being Ginger's only chick, but she'd look adorable as one of these:

Another distracting continuity thing: Rocky gets upset that he can't crow anymore. Even though...he was never a crower. That was Fowler's job. I remember. I get that he's a rooster but my point is that was never a thing Rocky did in the original and that should be been better established as what he does now on the island. Put it among the lines that I think could have very easily been slipped in to make it more digestible; you could have had Rocky say to Ginger, "you gotta let me crow! That's, like, my thing now", implying that he's turned to being the island's crow-er to cope with abandoning his lone-free-ranger lifestyle. See? Small changes of dialogue that can imply so much and give you an idea of all the things you need to know in this newer story.

Even though Fowler did technically do something in the end most of the movie felt annoyed and just there. Really would have liked it if he and Babs were back up and helpful some other way while it was mostly Mac, Bunty, and the rats who went in to save Molly and Rocky. Idk. Maybe it's hard to be the absolute banger of a convenience that is the green aliens and ' the claaaaaw' in Toy Story 3-- needed to utilize him better for the gag and the story is what I'm trying to get at.

Rocky and Ginger's voices were distracting. It's odd because Rocky's is definitely the more noticeably different one that you have to get used to, but I am 100% replacing him considering who was his og voice. I'm mostly mad that in order to free Rocky of the curse they had to take the part away from Julia Sawalha.

This is probably going to controversial here but, um, I really wish Mrs. Tweedy wasn't the Mrs. Tweedy in this. I think it'd be a funnier, more of a "here we go again" gag that they actually find some way to contrive the villain of this movie to be Mrs. Tweedy's relative that just happens to look the same, sound the same AND have the same bloodlust for chickens. Like, the gag is that all of Mrs. Tweedy's family is Officer Jenny/Nurse Joy who are all identical to one another but they're also the Cruella of birds and all have a bumbling husband. Even though it's explained how she got here, it just kind of takes the teeth out of her original defeat and even her one in this film.

I kind of wish Ginger had stayed "colarred" for a longer stretch of time and the rest of the crew had to save her. I feel like Molly being placed in her mother's shoes would have been more dramatic and made the situation all the more dire and dependent on the other characters to think up a plan. Ginger being unable to do anything or "broken" would change it up a bit, provided she still makes the final save in the end.

That pop song during the 'Molly-growing-up' montage was bad and didn't suit the time period and vibe of the movie. It really took me out. Just play that in the end credits.

Mr. Fry never appeared again in his creepy chicken man suit and I kind of really liked the idea of this creeeeeepy farmer basically wanting to be friends with the chickens while dressing as one because he thinks he's more connected to them that way. But no that's just for one scene.

I was also expecting Mr. Fry to turn on Mrs. Tweedy as he noticed her obviously flirting with Reginald. Having the ending twist be that he assists the chickens in their escape or lives among them in a horrific chicken suit with the chickens taking advantage of this would have been right at home.

that's all I got.

#chicken run #chicken run dawn of the nugget #chicken run 2 #aardman #franki's features

[feathersandfarmers]

What is your opinion of Molly The Chick, Frizzle The Scouse Chick and Dr. Mark Fry?, and What is your opinion of Mrs. Melisha Tweedy’s new makeover and outfit?

Molly: I thought she was really cute, and looked so much like Ginger! I think she's a great addition to the Chicken Run cast of characters. I appreciate how the writers wrote her; She was outgoing and adventurous without being a bratty character. Honestly I just wished we could have seen more moments of her as a baby/toddler, and more moments of Rocky and Ginger looking after her and being regular parents!

Frizzle: I like Frizzle too! I had a hard time understanding some of what she said tbh. At first, i felt her color palette was too saturated, and i think i still do tbh (her color is way too different from all the other hens when you compare her to all the other character designs and their color palettes) but she's still cute and i enjoy drawing her! I have a headcanon that she's quite a good artist, and loves to draw and make crafts with Molly (she made the necklace she's wearing!)

Dr.Mark Fry: (okay so it's official his name is Mark? where is this stated, im curious!) I'm gonna say something weird but i remember seeing fanart of Dr.Fry drawn all thin, and sexy looking with a sly look to his face before his official design was revealed. Then you see him! He's all cute, and chubby-cheeked and has this goofy grin on his face. He's an eccentric scientist (and a theatre kid!) i would love to see more of his inventions. I wonder how he met Mrs Tweedy, he seems to really love and worship her.

Mrs.Tweedy's makeover: She looks great tbh, very reminiscent of Audrey Hepburn. She's got nicer makeup, dyed her hair all black to cover the greyness we saw in the first movie.This make-over of hers shows how she really desires to live a glamorous life-style.

#i did my best to answer #im not sleeping well these days so hopefully my writings are coherent enough! #thanks for the ask #chicken run 2

[beedrill55]

Headcanon: Melisha's daughters

Ok, so, in my universe Melisha has two daughters: Emma Jane Tweedy and Vanessa Fry.

Emma is in her teens and after the events of the first movie she went to live with her father. She is a kind and smart girl and she used to play with the chickens at the farm. She was also the one who gave them their names. During the events of the movie she was at her uncle's house, and she discovered everything later. She now lives with Mr. Tweedy, her stepmother and stepsister Emily (since he remarried). She doesn't visit her mother often and she is not fond of Fry and Vanessa.

Vanessa is still a cute toddler and she is a very sweet and curious little girl. She is obsessed with nuggets like her parents and finds her father's chicken costume very funny. Melisha hopes she will be the leader of the Fun Land farm when she will be older. Fry wants to teach her science even tho she doesn't even know how to read and write yet, and he often takes her to his lab while working on the collars.

#chicken run 2 #chicken run #melisha tweedy #dr. fry

[rorithetori]

Ok so today i just discovered that aardman ANIMATED AND DID AN ACTUAL FIGURE OF NOBBY which is so cool so to celebrate this im gonna share with you some headcanons, theories and other things about this cutie patootie, because he deserves it 💖💘💞💗💘💖💝💕💖💕💗

Headcanons:

-He's between the age of 7-11 years old in human years

-He prob likes pancakes LOOK AT HIM HE LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE PANCAKE BOI

-He puts a lot of sprinkles in his vanilla ice cream because he IS THE SPRINKLES GUY

-Loves insects specially butterflies he likes to study them and its his fav topic when he talks with someone

-He's kinda shy but goodhearted

-He lets you choose your fav things because he likes to see you happy

-I dont thing he likes to eat bugs like the other chickens do (probably vegetarian)

-Likes hockey

-Sees rocky as a cool example to follow despite the things that he did in the past

Theories:

1) Nobby died before the events of the movie

2) Nobby probably was sold by the tweedy since they didnt need another rooster in the farm

Fun facts:

-He was one of nick Park's favorite characters so it was difficult to let him go

-Nobby was going to have a pet caterpillar called grubber which was gonna turn into a butterfly at the end of the movie

-He had a very cute relationship with ginger

-He likes hockey

If i miss something feel welcome to add it!!

#chicken run #chicken run dawn of the nugget #chickenrunnobby

[catgirlmagneto]

hello bestie. sticks leg up. do u maybe have more aus planned for the gays..... Perhaps....

ohohho hello beloved and esteemed mutual joshriku in fact i DO.

so here's the thing. the SW au brainrot is so real. and i am in so deep now like I literally have two (albeit much shorter) fics planned for after the current one, maybe more. this is totally not what you asked but i need to talk about it anyway or i will become crazy. the next one's gonna be cute and domestic (also probably sad because idk how to write things with a plot that aren't a little angsty) but it'll be basically them relearning how to be in a relationship and cute shit like that. and perhaps.... marriage??? ;) and then i want to do one where i can introduce a certain character as well as tie up the loose ends from the darksaber plot i set up in the original multichapter fic. chekovs gun... sadbigchungus on ao3's darksaber....

also I am very much a hoe for the idea of rogue in the star wars universe. rogue as a force-sensitive, rogue in some cool star wars outfit. and her bounty hunter/pirate/all around cool guy boyfriend, gambit. so maybe i'll do a quick oneshot to incorporate them into the universe as well. like i said, the brain rot is real.

BUT ALSO

i've had this idea floating around (no outline or anything yet) BUT. basically it pisses me off that in every 'dancer/stripper/ that sort of genre of AU, it's always a very slutty charles and then erik who is all buttoned up. hellO. did we.... do we know the same character. erik magnus dramatic ass bitch lehnsherr we have all seen his outfits and tall gogo boots and how much of an attention whore he is and STILL. no one is letting him fuck it up on the pole!!

male stripper/dancer erik, tweedy professor charles who accidentally meets him at someone's bachelorette party as a joke, then next runs into him as keynote speaker on a pretty small mutant rights protest on campus bc it turns out his day job (not rly a job my man doesn't get paid it's ok tho) is being involved in the radical mutant movement.

and in my head he's also got all the kiddos, the twins and lorna at least and maybe an older teenage anya as well. taken care of when dad's at work at night by cool neighbor and basically nocturnal fashion designer emma frost, who keeps an eye (and a telepathic eye) out for any trouble so erik doesn't need a sitter bc he can't afford one. in exchange he helps her with any metal parts in her designs since she uses diamonds and rocks and stuff so she needs things to set them in.

anyway the au isn't really baked in my head in terms of an actual plot, but I've got a few disconnected scenes floating around in my little noggin. charles is definitely in his wheelchair because i am also kind of mad at all the fics where it's a modern au but people are too cowardly to let him be disabled. anyway rapid fire! charles is like 'god why is he so hot but also so politically opposed to me i cannot stand it' but he CAN stand it because sparks fly! charles is a bitch and loves arguing! erik brings him coffee at work and is starstruck by his gay little wire frame glasses and has to excuse himself so he doesn't become a hot mess. charles comes over for dinner or smth and meets the kids. idk.

so that's what i might write next. anyways i hope u liked my ramble peace n love

#this turned out so long. oopsie #anyways. i love them. so much. #cherik au #charles xavier #xmen #cherik #cherik star wars au #magneto #erik lehnsherr #my writing

[femmemetale]

Check out this listing I just added to my Poshmark closet: Super cute tunic Sweatshirt hoodie dress in tweedy look fabric 22nd by Binee.

[disneylanddilettante]

i'm in love with all hallows omg!!!! i'd go there every halloween if it were real (even then, i'd probably go all year hehe)!!! i love the characters in trick-or-treat village, they sound so adorable! i want to try and draw them, so could you perhaps divulge into how they look, please? thank you!!

I don't have very detailed images of the characters, but here are the broad strokes--feel free to embellish these as you like!

Jack O'Lantern: Like a dapper scarecrow with a pumpkin head. Shirt, vest, trousers--the style is rather like a traditional Irish suit. Main colors are orange and green.

Molly Gourd: Her pumpkin head is a bit pear-shaped to contrast with Jack's more conventional globe, with lots of leaves and tendrils on top to suggest hair. She wears gardening overalls. Main colors are orange and purple.

Jigglebones: Just a cartoon skeleton. With a bowtie.

Professor Hootgenstein: A generic horned owl look with a tweedy argyle vest and half-moon spectacles.

Hazel: A black cat with a shawl and witch's hat. Green eyes, calm knowing expression.

Webbamina: Plays very loose with realistic spider anatomy so that two pairs of legs function as arms while the other two function as legs. Humanlike face, noticeable makeup. Should be holding sewing tools in at least two hands.

Bat-tholomew: A cute bat cosplaying Dracula.

I hope this is enough for you to go on! I am SO flattered that you want to draw these characters! If you get stuck on any details, just ask and I'll come up with something!

#all hallows #halloween #theme parks #armchair imagineering

[jcmorrigan]

What movie or tv show scared you the most?

OH HEEHEEHEEEEEE MY TIME HAS COME

I think this was probably the sign I was meant to be a horror fan, because I'm gonna talk about two movies here and neither one is a standard horror film. Now, I avoided horror films like the plague, but I now realize that's because of my aversion to jumpscares and gore, which have very little to do with actual scary stuff. I feared actual horror imagery as a small child, but basically once I read Coraline it all just turned around because that book gave me nightmares but I actually WANTED those nightmares and kept going back to the book. So what are the movies I just COULD NOT contend with?

First up, I have found that a lot of people have said this one, but really and truly, fuck Chicken Run.

I was...maybe ten when I watched it. Signed up for a goofy claymation adventure. What did I get? First of all, a whole lot of bleak color palette that warned me that this was not going to be a happy story. We are then shown the stakes right away: our entire main cast lives in a dystopian prison and if they do not find a way to escape, they will die. One DOES die. This is where a lot of people say they noped out right away, but actually, the execution of the dinner chicken in the first scene was tame for me compared to what would come next.

The pie machine. It's assembled, it's talked about, and eventually our two leads fall into it in a way that is designed to be fatal. Look, there are a ton of horror tropes in this scene alone. I haven't seen it SINCE THE ONE AIRING and I can still vividly tell you a lot of this. And if I walked into a horror film and asked for this, I'd come out super satisfied, but I was not expecting horror from this. First of all, I remember vividly the shot where you're looking from Ginger's POV falling down the shaft and the divider comes up to shunt her into the "meat" line. It's incredibly claustrophobic and you just get this almost jumpscare reminder that the character through whose eyes you see is regarded as nothing more than meat to be consumed. There is then an array of blades designed for close calls, and dough that essentially glues the lead characters down to a conveyor belt so they have to helplessly watch the death machines that are coming. Sticky stuff that roots you to one spot; that's another thing that just REALLY unnerves me and I love it if I'm reading CreepyPasta but I was not reading CreepyPasta; I was watching a children's film. The leads escape certain death by jamming the gravy system, causing the machine to overload on pressure, and here I feel like I should've been relieved that they escaped but instead I was the most unsettled of all when the pressure meter started climbing. I don't know if this film *gave* me a phobia of industrial accidents or if it just awakened what was already in my OCD little brain, but suffice to say that after this movie, I was hyper-aware of my own fear of things like hissing steam, rising pressure meters, and being in a room where large metal things were clanking. (I'm since over it; I've been exposed to it in enough things.)

Now, I was no quitter. I should have just noped out. But I didn't. I continued to traumatize myself. The next part of the film until the climax I don't remember so well - it wasn't as traumatizing - EXCEPT for the part where Ginger finds and rebuilds Rocky's circus poster. And now, as an adult, I can see how that was kinda supposed to be funny, like, "The goddamn chicken padded his résumé and the way they found this out was a circus poster." But little me was invested in these chickens, I wanted them to be happy, and what I saw was basically their death notice being signed with that scrap of paper with a cannon on it. I FELT that in my bones.

STILL NOT HAVING THE GOOD SENSE TO JUST EJECT THE TAPE ALREADY, I proceeded to the climax, in which what happens to Tweedy might be one of the most fucking awful things I've seen ever? Pinned upside-down in a superheated, confined space with rising liquid from below as the pressure meter starts climbing again. And her husband arrives just in time to see her like this but not in time to actually stop the explosion. Thank God it didn't actually kill her because even though I was already traumatized, that would've absolutely made it worse.

Thing is, ever since this movie scared the absolute shit out of me - and was probably the cause of the weird stomachaches I had for A WEEK after - I've kinda had this thing about reclaiming the scary parts and stomping on them while laughing maniacally. I feel like every time I've done a crossover project, there's been a temptation to write in an arc where the mains go up against THE PIE MACHINE and fucking win. And also there's whump with tons of comfort in my version to mitigate it all. I haven't done any such thing for TBTC...YET. But I know what I must do. I know who must destroy the machine and the Tweedys along with it. Buckle your seatbelts.

My final word before I move on is that as I ascend into adulthood, I think that for the most part, a rewatch of this film wouldn't traumatize me so badly. It'd still be gross and creepy in a way I think shouldn't be sent to children without warning, but I could deal with the imagery, maybe enjoy using it as whump fuel even more, maybe my horror side would really get into the peril this time. But the one thing I've realized is that this premise is fucked EVEN MORE if you're a grown-up, because as a child, you're sympathizing with the chickens. You want them to get free of this death camp environment. But as an adult, you start to realize that all Tweedy wanted to do was be a chicken farmer who sold pie, and her supposedly nonsentient animals ganged up on her in a display of unheard-of intellect among farm stock. This would then lead to her undergoing at least one near-death fate. Think about being a farmer in our world and the animals you keep GANG UP ON YOU LIKE PEOPLE because you're killing them for food. No thank you, no THANK you.

But surely this was a one-of-a-kind phenomenon. Surely, after this...after so many other people agreed with me; "Fuck Chicken Run"...no animation studio would ever pull shit like this again.

I had hoped that was the case until Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs.

This is one I don't actually see lambasted as often. Maybe because the Chicken Run trauma crew grew thicker skins before this movie. I only sort of did. Maybe because no one ever actually invested in this film, having already predicted how much it would be garbage from the dumb humor in the trailers. Oh, but not me. I was a fool. Also my family picked it for a movie night so my fate was sealed anyway.

The original book is actually pretty frightening on its own. Food falls from the sky in such great numbers that it starts to destroy the world. Okay, that's terrifying. But kind of in the alluring way. I would keep coming back to the one page about the giant pancake on the school because the way it was drawn unsettled me so, with something huge and immovable blocking off the way to a building that usually has hundreds of innocent children inside. The film built on this and made it a thousand times worse.

Let's start with the goddamn Spray-On Shoe. Our main character is a mad scientist (but the good kind, apparently) whose list of bumbling failed experiments dates back to when he was a child and invented a spray you could put on your feet to coat them in shoes. He then gets laughed at because he didn't engineer a way to get the shoes off, and runs home in humiliation. Guys, the teasing/bullying factor is...not the most worrying thing about this story. There's a throwaway line about how Flint wears THE SAME SHOES into adulthood because to that day they simply cannot be removed. This seems like an incredibly urgent medical problem? Having your feet encased in the same rubber for years? The same rubber as when you're a kid? I just found myself thinking "What if my shoes never came off one day" and that terrifies me, okay? It's stupid and it's silly and it scares me. Even more than that, though, is the canonization of a polymer in this universe that can be sprayed on sticky and will literally never break no matter what you do to it, because that goes back to the pie machine dough principle. Being glued to a surface permanently is inherently terrifying and we'll go over this later because this is not the last fuckin time the glue shoes get brought up.

Flint invents a food-spewing machine. It ends up in the sky. He rides his popularity as it rains larger and larger food down upon the town and also the world. Most of this film up until the climax is unsettling but not AWFUL. Where it starts to go to shit is when Flint realizes his machine is too dangerous and shuts it off, only for the town's local greedy politician to switch it back on into an apocalyptic mode. So can we start with "Local town finds out its elected official is willing to sabotage their well-being in order to capitalize on the fame of a disaster-causing object?". Like, the whole film would've been solved so much sooner if there hadn't been a saboteur in the works - not a fun campy villain, mind you, but a saboteur who exists to drive the plot to the scary place. But I guess we need that narrative tension to justify having a film in the first place, so fine, I'll ride it out.

The main crew saddles up to fly out to the machine, which is now encased in a FLESH LABYRINTH of food, and...I'm just gonna rapid-fire the shit that happens at this part:

-The food turns sentient in order to defend itself. The cute animal sidekick brutally dismembers an army of gummy bears that is fully sentient and rips them apart to devour them.

-We enter the flesh labyrinth and it's exactly as much a horror RPG setting as you think it is.

-Now sentient cooked chickens besiege the party. The comic relief character is consumed by one, only to kill it from the inside and decide to WEAR ITS SKIN in what is seen as his defining character arc's conclusion. Wearing the skin of a dead monster allows him to forge his new identity.

-One of our party has to go back because of a tight passage lined with her deadly allergen, causing her to undergo anaphylaxis after an accidental mild nick. In the flesh labyrinth.

-The entire horrific journey is instantly INVALIDATED when it turns out that instead of the kill code for the machine, all Flint has is a file of a cat video. Which he finds out as the town is about to be obliterated off the face of the earth.

-So he solves it by jamming the works with the spray-on shoe and DID I NOT JUST GO OVER HOW HORRIFIC INDUSTRIAL EXPLOSIONS ARE IN KIDS' MOVIES? DID I NOT? ARE WE REALLY DOING THIS AGAIN? Anyway it's canonical proof that NOTHING can break the shoe glue and I should be happy for the town and happy that there's no more flesh labyrinth of living meat but instead I'm just terrified because of the door we have opened. We have imparted the existence of an indestructible sticky polymer upon the world.

-It's later seen used in a credits sequence to repair damaged houses. Which, first of all, given its flexible nature, is fuckin stupid. It won't serve as an actual wall. Second, that got me thinking about construction accidents involving the fuckin shoe glue. If that stuff gets dripped on a person's face -

-So then cue me sitting awake in bed later thinking wide-eyed about Cloudy with a Chance of Fucking Meatballs and realizing that this compound that is essentially a chemical weapon in the making is now in the hands of the mayor who deliberately caused an apocalyptic event over the town because he wanted the food rain. And THAT'S not going to lead to pretty circumstances.

I think you'll see that a lot of my fears with these two movies is "THINK OF THE IMPLICATIONS!" and I think that just shows how my mind works and why I'm drawn to fanfic so much. I'm all about diving into a universe, exploring its corners, analyzing it to death.

And with the industrial horror stuff, I kinda wanna bring it around to two other films that actually really subverted my expectations and made it fun. 102 Dalmatians was a fave of mine through middle school, but I remember when the climax took us to a big ol' factory and I got plumb nervous. After the usual blades and ovens of horror, the fact that it concludes with Cruella basically wearing a cake and a lengthy montage of the dogs kicking toppings onto her is just one of the most wholesome imageries. She survived the thing and now you get to watch her be decorated Lisa Frank style by her victims who are more interested in humiliation than murder, and I love that.

But maybe more prevalent is that I'm well aware that if certain filmography or plot points had been handled in different ways, The Boxtrolls might've actually frightened the ever-loving fuck out of me what with all the industrial stuff and medical horror, but I just...felt like that film was holding my hand the whole way through going "It's okay." The industrial stuff was framed in a way that was just campy enough and yet also taken seriously. Putting a really charismatic villain - ACTUAL VILLAIN, NOT CHICKEN FARMER OR CORRUPT POLITICIAN SABOTEUR - at the wheel was just such a mitigating factor that it gelled the whole thing together and I ended up LOVING what was done with giant machines and garbage crushers and explosions. And as for the medical body horror, I really appreciate how it was so baked in that Snatcher did that to himself - that everyone, EVERYONE warned him "Do not do this, you will probably die, I'm serious, bad fucking idea" up to the point of Eggs trying to plead him during an anaphylaxis attack, one last time, DO NOT continue down this path, we can find a way to heal you psychologically and get you some self-fulfillment. And Snatcher fully chooses hubris over the many, many opportunities offered him to be able to step down onto a safer path and that removes the fear and pulls it more into a tragedy for the villain. Not at all the same thing as "Sam the reporter is trying to save the world and doing her best until a fixture of the landscape accidentally sends her into anaphylaxis."

(Oh, and by the way, can I just - when I do see CWACOM brought up these days, it's always in the context of "This is the one movie where the guy tells the girl it's okay to look nerdy!". Well, no, not the way I remember it. The way I remember it, Sam basically tells Flint "I used to have really tacky style but have since changed it up of my own volition" and Flint is just like "NOOOOO YOU NEED TO WEAR GLASSES AND A SCRUNCHIE. I WANT A HOT NERD GIRL." This could've been pulled off right with some more introspection into female beauty standards, even in a tongue-in-cheek way, but right now it really looks like Sam just wanted to make herself more glam for a new image and Flint bullied her into regressing her style. Which I've also realized meant he bullied her into dressing more like she did as a teenager and normally I think that kind of shit is just "You're overthinking it" but since it's CWACOM and I spelled it out on paper like that, I'm just now realizing how that can be seen as pretty...icky.)

The one saving grace of CWACOM is that I was older by that time, and so it didn't affect me as hard as Chicken Run. But I still hold it dearly to my heart as one of the MOST DISTURBING movies I know, and by "dearly" I mean "fuck this movie, really and truly." I want to extend my thanks to 102D and Boxtrolls for giving me industrial-horror-based climaxes that were actually really comfortable, and again, probably what drove both of these was the fact that we had a campy diva villain in the lead for the potential scary stuff to surround and radiate off. Not a fuckin...ordinary chicken farmer who is just trying to make bank but is somehow passed as a Nazi allegory for trying to live her life as a farmer? I dunno, maybe if I rewatched that film I'd see she has a thirst for human blood too, and if I could fix fic Chicken Run my first order of business would be to give her a thirst for human blood instead of/in addition to chickens.

Anyway. Fuck both these films, EXCEPT for the fact that traumatizing scenarios can always be recast as whump material, and the next time I wanna do some crossover aftercare from a physically and psychologically damaging mission, I have a pie machine and a flesh labyrinth to exploit. REALLY HEAVY ON THAT AFTERCARE COMFORT THOUGH!

[veronicalodgeoutfitanalysis]

Chapter Twenty Eight: There Will be Blood

Things in Riverdale are starting to heat up, and so are Veronica’s outfits.

She is technically in the frame here... Can I use this as an excuse to finally add the to the Cape Count?

This dress is calling to mind her black collared dress from 2x10. This dress is seemingly a dark purple colour and has a slightly looser fit than her usual fit and flare numbers. The black embellished collar and black cuffs on her sleeves add a fun contrasting detail. It’s all very Veronica, down to her single pearl.

We don’t see a whole lot of this outfit but from what I can tell it appears to be a black short sleeved top with some lace flower detailing on the chest, paired with a navy skirt. Pretty classic.

This is so fucking cute! This top is adorable and I’m shocked it take them so long to utilise this style, a bow made out of pearls just screames Veronica. This tweedy pink skirt is also great, it’s been a pretty long time since we’ve seen Veronica in some tweed. 

She pairs what I’m pretty sure is a new coat with it. Navy, big lapels, double row of buttons. I’m a fan. It’s also interesting to see her with significantly straighter hair than usual, I’d love to see more of her with it!

Another pajama set, this could easily be the pair she wore in 2x14.

This is a new top! The indigo colour is nice but I really like the interesting floral detailing on the side, gives it some fun. She’s paired it with a red and green tartan skirt, something she’s worn similar pieces as many times. 

I’m fairly sure this is the same coat as earlier. Now, last time she wore a red tartan skirt I theorized it could represent her relationship with Archie, particularly their moments of conflict. Here they’re having a pretty big fight about Archie’s loyalty to her family. 

I- this show is so fucking weird sometimes.

Black embellished collar sweater ad dark skater style skirt, we’ve seen this before. It’s very similar to her first look from 2x10, another episode that heavily focused on her family’s plans for Southside High...

This sure is... something. This appears to be another cape, paired with a white shirt, longer black skirt, and another absurdly large bow. Veronica’s been wearing quite a few of those this season. The last time we saw in a white outfit was her communion dress from 2x12. There, she was struggling with her family’s business and perhaps manifesting a sign of visual purity, the same could be said here. Veronica most often wears white in episodes that heavily focus on her family’s criminal plans and I don’t think it’s a coincidence. 

Total: Eight, pretty hefty this time.

Cape Count: See my first line in this episode...

Teardrop Pearl Count: She’s back and she’s beautiful

Favourite: Bow jumper and tweed skirt.

See you for the next one!

#riverdale #riverdale style #riverdale outfits #riverdale fashion #veronica lodge #veronica lodge style #veronica lodge outfits #veronica lodge outfit analysis #camila mendes #season 2 #season two #s2 #2x15

[onceler-landfill]

Rating Concept Art Once-lers

Turns out there’s a few different iterations of concept art Once-lers. I have decided to rate them. Under the readmore because it’ll probably get long.

- Mod Meownce-ler

What? WHAT? What were they thinking?! All respect to the artist, of course, but this does not look like a possible Once-ler! This is a green gremlin! Something about his design just REALLY, REALLY bothers me. I look at this and feel my brain immediately begin to turn itself inside out as it tries to comprehend what it’s looking at.

Interestingly, stripes seemed to be in the character design as early as this.

1/10 ONLY because the Lorax and the Thneed are there.

He is some sort of uhhhhhh... hairy creature thing? The face really bugs me and I can’t put my finger on why. Why does he appear to be wearing clothes when those clothes are basically just a part of his body? I feel like he would kill me and have no regrets. No, he wouldn’t enjoy it, but he certainly wouldn’t regret it.

2/10 because he would look like an effective villian at least.

He now has a checkered pattern, a smaller hat, and a different face. This man seems menacing, but also vaguely familiar. I feel like I’ve seen something similar to this in a Doctor Seuss book. The clothes still appear to be his actual body and not actual articles of clothing. His face still retains that “I will kill you and not regret it” vibe I got from the last one.

2.5/10 because he’s just slightly better than the last design.

Oh! The blue gray color actually differentiates his body from his clothing! It’s also a pretty blue. I like that pink frilly thing on his coat and the checker pattern adds something interesting to look at to the clothing. His face seems somewhat less scary than the Once-lers that have come before him. He is still hindered by his similarity to the other previous Once-lers though. His head also looks like it’s been crammed into his hat.

5/10, definitely an improvement but still a good ways to go.

We have ourselves a color inversion here it seems. His coat has become a blue while his fur has become a green. The famous gloves make their appearance. I feel like this man would be a kind fellow because of his gentle face. He doesn’t have a very threatening vibe.

7/10 because he seems friendly.

Dude I’m fucking scared right now. This is a scary guy. This is true villain material, ok? I feel like I’m looking at Ms. Tweedy from Chicken Run. This guy would kill me, and not only not regret it, but would also enjoy it. He’s got that fluffy trench coat thingy, he’s got that hair coming out of his hat, he’s tangled in the cut down, harvested guts of a truffula tree, he’s a menace to society. Is that coat made of the fur of a dead animal? Only he knows!

9/10, would be a terrifying villain.

Yeah, that’s a Once-ler. You can tell cuz it says so on his coat. He’s got a long body with super short, stumpy little legs. He is also labelled as if he forgets his name sometimes. I could actually kinda see the 1972 Once-ler looking like this. I also like the simple design. Seems pretty reminiscent of Doctor Seuss. I also like his frilly pink collar.

Solid 7/10.

Woah! This is a pretty big change to the other Once-lers we’ve seen. He resembles a golden retriever if you ask me. I may not like dogs, but not even I can resist the inherent charm that all golden retrievers contain. I like his floppy ears and his shirt. Look at his cute little hat! He’s so happy to show us his design for a Thneed!

10/10, absolutely adorable. Top tier.

Ok ok ok, so hear me out. First, you look at this fellow, and think “that’s a very short Once-ler! That’s a little strange!” But then, if you look at him for a little while longer, you realize that he’s very adorable! He looks very much like a country boy heading out to realize his dream, only to kill the entire environment, which then leads him to ruin his own life by living in isolation for decades. I love the little patch he has on his pants. He looks like a cheerful, optimistic country boy and I love it. The hat is a little strange though.

10/10. I don’t take constructive criticism.

Thus, we have come to the end of our ratings post. Here he is! That’s our boy! He’s got a funky guitar/banjo thing, he’s got the striped pants and that shirt and vest, he’s also got that questionable fedora. What else is there to say? That’s him!

10/10, because of course!

And that’s a wrap folks!

#the onceler #onceler #original post

[beedrill55]

About the sequel

I think that maybe a mini series would have been a better option for the sequel than a movie. I know a series required more work, but i think it could make the plot feel less rushed. Like, in the movie they say "Oh no that Place is impenetrable" and then they break in in five minutes. Everything happens too fast, like the fast food in the movie (maybe it was intentional?). With a series they could take more time to tell the story and develop the character arcs. Especially Molly and Frizzle's friendship. Some old characters barely do something in the sequel and some new ones could have done much more.

Also, while writing this, another thing that annoyed me came to mind and it's the fact Mrs. Tweedy and Fry barely have a couple dynamic together. I already said in other posts how much i wanted them to be the "evil but in love" trope and i was left disappointed, but this thing bothered me too. In the first movie while Melisha treated Willard badly, you could tell they were married. There was a wedding picture of them, Melisha talked about "our future" , implying that she still wanted to a have a future with him, she shows physical attraction, we see their everyday life...They weren't in a happy marriage, but you could tell they were a married couple. In the sequel Fry feels like he is some guy who is in love with Melisha but they don't look married. Yes, they say they are and Fry calls her cute nicknames, but they look like they knew each other for a week. We don't see a wedding picture of them like in the first movie, or any other indication of their relationship either through objects or behaviors. I think that they should have developed their dynamic differently, or at the very least more in depth. In the scene with the mind control machine, when she takes charge they look like two siblings fighting over a PlayStation more than a married couple arguing, and even in the rest of the movie they simply look like coworkers. She even cheats on him.

Ok i think my rant is over.

#chicken run #chicken run 2 #chicken run dawn of the nugget

[rorithetori]

Hi guys so today is character analisis friday!! Todays characters is a very special one who has stolen everyones heart without even coming out yet the character who am i talking abt is

You guessed it!! Its frizzle!

So lets get started with some yummy headcanons for her (some of them were requested by some followers on instagram)

-Girly, likes flowers, LOVES the color pink and watched each and every one of the barbie movies!! But at the same time she likes shitpost and makes very random coments lol

-LOVES STRAWBERRIES AND STRAWBERRY FLAVORED FOOD‼️‼️‼️💞 EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO BE WITH STRAWBERRIES SHE WILL LIKE IT

-cares about everyone and is very extroverted

-When she was on the farm, she was in charge of making the chicks laugh and distracting them so that they would not see the misfortunes that were happening in there

-probably lost her parents at a very young age

-sees ginger as a mother figure, basically mollys family care about her alot

-has a close relationship with molly they are bffs almost sisters 🥺💞

-she loves crafts and arts she made her own necklace (requested)

-she is will have a husband of a darker color and have several children 💞 (requested)

-She knows all the barbie lore and she tells it 2 molly every time they're together (molly's annoyed)

I can see her wearing this:

-probably like her v/a she has adhd

Theories:

Frizzle lost her parents:

While making this article the mlvie havent even came out yet but i think frizzle might she was born or was taken with her parents to the farm of the tumblr SEXYMANNNN dr fry, and unlike the tweedy farm the chickens had no chance to live and were automatically turned into nuggets, It was a matter of time before the time came for her parents to leave and leave a little frizzle abandoned. and probably causing him depression and a feeling of loneliness until he met molly and the other chickens

Fun facts:

-just like Mac she has all of the hair (?) picked up by a headband

-her skin color is red maroon (thats crazyyy)

-frizzle's chicken breed actually exist (Google it theyre so cute)

-At first, before I saw his photo, I thought that frizzle was going to be a boy, DON'T ASK ME WHY BECASE IDK SORRY FRIZZLE 😅😅😅

(I am going to update this as long as we have more information about this strawberry pie 💞💗💘💖💗💗)

[1dreality]

It must have been well over a year ago now, when Liam Payne realised he had absolutely nothing interesting to say. The singer, known to most as ‘Liam from One Direction’ until the group’s indefinite hiatus in January 2016, had returned to the studio, settled into the idea of being a solo artist for the rest of his days, and promptly drawn a blank. He was, he says, just too darned happy to think of anything.

Everything in his life had fallen into place. He’d found love, moving in with Cheryl (formerly Cole), a fellow junior royal of the Top 40. Their first child, a son named Bear, was well on the way. He had signed a huge record deal with Capitol. He felt fitter and healthier than he had in years. And, yes, there’s no denying it: he was pretty pleased that he no longer had to be in the biggest boyband in the world.

‘I had a bit of a problem formulating what was going on in my brain into the music at first,’ he says, ‘because I was so content with everything in my personal life. It’s easy to spill your guts out on a ballad. But I was thinking, “Oh God, I’m really happy – what am I going to write about?!”’

More than 12 months on, the answer to that question still isn’t entirely clear. Payne’s debut album, as yet untitled, won’t be released until early 2018. There have been two singles, though, with a third, the unsubtly titled Bedroom Floor, arriving next month.

Of those we’ve heard, the first, Strip That Down, a R&B-inflected club hit released in May and co-written with Ed Sheeran, marked a departure from One Direction’s stadium pop-rock. It was also chock-full of hoary by-the-way-I’m-an-adult-now signposts: there are references to nightclubs, drinking rum and coke, driving Ferraris and having girls ‘grind’ on him. And mixed in with all that were lyrics that caused a minor stir among his acolytes: ‘You know I used to be in 1D, now I’m out, free / people want me for one thing, that’s not me’. Payne, it seems, is keen to reintroduce himself.

‘When I left the band, I felt a bit stranded,’ he says, when we meet in an enormous boardroom at his management’s offices. ‘It took time, but I know as an artist I am starting fresh now.’ He slaps the table with melodrama. ‘This is Moment One. It’s the start line.’

Liam Payne is 24 years old. He is athletically built, as anyone who has seen his shirtless Instagram posts will know, and kind of everyday handsome, in a Love Island, former-youth-footballer way. Both his arms and hands are almost entirely upholstered in tattoos, highlights of which include some thick black arrows on one forearm that look like road markings; the number ‘4’, in reference to One Direction’s 2014 album of the same name, on his ring finger; and, on his left arm, a scale depiction of Cheryl’s eye, that appears to follow you around the room as he gesticulates. ‘It’s so my missus can always keep an eye on me,’ he likes to say about that one.

He is impossibly nice. Before we meet, he plods through the office, saying hello to everybody in the building individually, and in most cases remembering something about them: that they beat him at Fifa last time he dropped by, so they must have a rematch before he leaves (‘I’ll whoop ya with West Brom!’), or they’ve surely had a haircut, haven’t they? (‘It looks really great anyway, man!’). It is the manner of somebody both impeccably raised and intensely keen for people to like him, and it appears genuine and successful.

To an extent, Payne says, the five members of One Direction – or four, after Zayn Malik left the band in 2015 – ended up playing characters over the six years they were together. Whereas the Beatles (arguably the only other group with a comparable scale and speed of world domination), grew increasingly cantankerous towards the end of the 1960s, One Direction stuck resolutely to the caricatures that fans and management assigned them right to the end.

Malik was brooding and mercurial, Harry Styles was a cool, flamboyant ladies’ man, Niall Horan was charming and laid-back, and Louis Tomlinson, who has since admitted to feeling a little redundant, was fun and energetic. And Payne? Well, Payne was The Responsible One.

‘I’ve always been a bit of an older soul,’ he says, mulling over his place. ‘It’s funny: there’s a thing on the net where the fans put what they think are our mental ages. All the boys were around their real ones, but then they put me at about 37.’

Payne admits to feeling a little daunted in 2010, when Simon Cowell thrust the band together on X Factor after they’d auditioned as solo artists. Keeping up with the other personalities in the gang was exhausting, so his coping mechanism was to attempt to rein them in as best he could, and work with management in doing so. Like the popular schoolboy teachers identify as mature enough to be a trusted emissary for his recalcitrant friends, Payne carved himself a valuable niche.

‘I was put with a group of rowdy teenagers, and when I was a teenager, I had mates, but I was always with my dad. I’d go out to the pub and chat with him. So when I was stuck with these boys I was thinking, “F— me, I don’t know how to do it.”

‘When something was going wrong, I’d get a phone call. If there was an apology needed, it was me. I was the spokesperson for the band, as it were, with the press and the label.’

Along with Tomlinson, Payne shares comfortably the most writing credits of the band on One Direction songs. Over their five albums, dozens of songwriting collaborators contributed to the group’s success, but it seems nobody worked harder than the two least-heralded members. Neither was the showiest or best singer; but they kept things ticking over.

One Direction’s hordes of fans around the world noticed the assumed roles, and nicknamed Payne ‘Daddy Directioner’. He lived up to it with them, too. In 2013, on tour in Australia, Payne tweeted a message to warn girls waiting outside the band’s hotel of snakes living in the surrounding fields. ‘It’s just not worth it someone’s gunna get hurt [sic],’ he pleaded.

Two years later, he gave an interview lamenting the fact he and the other boys were being sent sexually explicit pictures of themselves drawn by underage admirers. While the rest of the band seemed to find that funny, Payne called it ‘the sad and sorry side of what we’ve done.’ Yeah, all right, Dad.

Becoming a real-life father has at least given the nickname some purchase. Rumours swirled at the end of 2015 that he had started dating Cheryl – formerly Fernandez-Versini and Cole, née Tweedy – after her second marriage ended in divorce. By the next summer, she was pregnant with the second One Direction baby (Tomlinson, the eldest of the bunch, had one first).

The couple live in a mansion near Woking, Surrey, and aren’t married, but he considers them ‘basically at that stage’. Bear, with whom Payne is besotted, was born in March, and named for the growling noises he was making during his first sleeps. So far, no photographs have been released, but he instantly shows me one on his phone. And here, I can exclusively reveal that the heir Bear is – as you’d expect of a baby with that name, born of two professionally good-looking parents – very cute.

‘We’ve only shown him in glimpses,’ Payne says, explaining their decision to shield him. ‘We don’t want him to have the pressure that me and Cheryl have, as household names. We want him to enjoy himself first and then figure it out.’

Born and raised in Wolverhampton, Payne has an unexpectedly thick Midlands accent that gets thicker the longer he talks – which is a lot. His preferred conversational feature is the anecdote, resulting in a version of the phrase, ‘I remember, there was this one time…’ prefixing the majority of his utterances, which are in turn regularly punctuated with singular handclaps of self-incredulity. It can be mildly alarming, like interviewing a young, heavily-tattooed Ronnie Corbett, but I suppose it speaks to the amount of life experience he has already accrued.

Growing up, Payne’s father, Geoff, worked as a fitter, while his mother, Karen, was a nursery nurse. Money was tight and the house small, but he remembers it as a happy one.

‘My place was on the floor with the dog, there was no space on the sofa. It was great, though we didn’t have much. Dad was in debt, but they did the best they could. It makes you dream a bit, you know?’

As a child, he had two routes to possible stardom, both of which Geoff pushed hard for. One was singing, the other was long-distance running. For a time in his teens, Payne was one of the fastest 1500m runners in the country, getting up to train before school and seconds from qualifying for the London 2012 squad. It was before that, as a 14-year-old in 2008, that he first applied for X Factor.

Auditioning with Fly Me To The Moon, since it was one of the few songs he could manage while his voice was breaking, that year he got as far as the ‘judge’s houses’, before Simon Cowell told him to come back in two years and try again. He became a mini-celebrity back home in that between-period, and carried on performing around town. The adulation was short-lived, though.

Once, performing a Justin Timberlake cover at an under-18s gig in Oceana Wolverhampton, somebody lobbed a coin at his face and managed to draw blood. He laughs about it now. These days – admittedly a largely cashless society – it’s only bras and knickers they fling.

‘I had become less and less famous. One time, I was in McDonald’s with a girlfriend and someone shouted ‘X Factor reject!’ at me. The whole restaurant turned. It was like coming out of fame. So I knew what it was like at 15, and it helped me.’

Following Cowell’s advice, he returned to X Factor in 2010 and found himself shoved into One Direction with the four other boys, eventually finishing the competition in third place, but with easily the brightest future. Within weeks, he had moved out of his Wolverhampton bedroom and into a penthouse apartment in Canary Wharf.

And six years later, One Direction had sold more than 20 million records, become the first band in history to have their first four albums go to number one in the US, touring the world numerous times, and earned a preposterous amount of money in the process. Payne is now estimated to be worth £40 million. He hasn’t been back to Wolverhampton in a long time, but he paid off his father’s debts years ago, and bought his parents a new house in addition to funding the renovation of their family home. He refers to his time spent in One Direction as ‘like uni’.

When they were in the thick of things, all the boys used to obey Cowell’s omertà – relentless enthusiasm at all times, please – and never discussed any negative aspects of their experience. Now safely out the other side, Payne is frank on matters of burnout and claustrophobia.

‘Cabin fever. It sent me a bit AWOL at one point, if I’m honest. I can remember when there were 10,000 people outside our hotel. We couldn’t go anywhere. It was just gig to hotel, gig to hotel. And you couldn’t sleep, because they’d still be outside,’ he says, before telling several stories of how he and Tomlinson would sneak out of hotels just to feel freedom, only to find themselves bored once they got out.

‘People were speaking to me about mental health in music the other day, and that’s a big issue. Sometimes you just need some sun, or a walk.’

Every stop on tour became the same. Earlier this year, Payne was asked which was his favourite city of those he visited with One Direction. ‘One in Italy with a big white cathedral,’ he responded.(The band performed in Milan at least five times.)

‘One of the problems was that we never stopped to celebrate what we’d done. I remember us winning loads of American Music Awards and then having to get on a plane straight away. It got to the point where success was so fluid. I don’t even know what happened to our songs, we just sang them, then sang some more. It was like a proper, hard job. Non-stop. I can concentrate a lot more now.’

The paparazzi and fan attention sounds just as draining. It must feel weird having a Twitter following larger than the population of Australia, as he does, but especially odd to have fans so obsessed that they’ve set up multiple fake profiles pretending to be your mother, for some reason.

Moreover, footage of One Direction out and about makes A Hard Day’s Night look tame: thousands of screaming fans all over them, police escorts everywhere they went, an unending run of selfie requests... It came to a head in New York in 2012, when Payne was walking to a restaurant with his parents and a paparazzo accidentally pushed his mother over. He was incensed.

‘I was like, “Oh, f— this. F— this s—t.” There was a swarm of them and I just wanted a burger with my parents,’ he says, unsmiling for a moment. ‘I cried my eyes out. I thought, “I can’t do this”, and really hated my life.’

He soldiered on, but it wasn’t a healthy lifestyle; none of them seems to miss it now the ‘break’ is on.

‘It’s great that people can see what we’re really like away from each other,’ Payne says. ‘It got to a point in the band where we were just playing characters, and I was tired of my character. Apart from the daddy thing, I was really loud and bubbly. There were a lot of personalities in the band to keep up with, so I had to be all, ‘Ey!’, the rowdy lad, and I don’t have to now.’

There were times when the band would celebrate hard, and in that, Payne had catching up to do: as a child, he was diagnosed with a scarred kidney, meaning he didn’t taste alcohol until he was given the all-clear at 19. Tell a teenage millionaire they can now safely drink, and they’ll go for it. He admits ‘the floodgates opened’ that year.

‘I wasn’t happy. I went through a real drinking stage, and sometimes you take things too far. Everyone’s been that guy at the party where you’re the only one having fun, and there were points when that was me. I got to 13 stone, just eating crap. I got fat jibes, and it affects your head. I have nothing to hide about it…

‘As I say, it was like a musical university. We were pretty reckless, but I got it out of my system. I had my fun.’

The hiatus seems to have come at just the right time. But before he could take a breath, Payne lurched on in life, becoming involved with Cheryl almost at once.

Nobody asks how they met; their introduction is on YouTube for all to see. Ten years his senior, she was an X Factor judge in 2008 when the 14-year-old Payne shuffled in, all mop-hair and waistcoat, to perform his Sinatra number. He winked at her, she called him ‘cute’, they bumped into one another over the years, ended up working on a remix of one of her songs in 2014, and the rest is recent pop history.

Not everybody was happy when the relationship was initially confirmed. That Cheryl was in a quasi-pastoral role when they met raised eyebrows in the usual eyebrow-raising camps, as did the couple’s decade-wide age gap. Liam doesn’t care. In fact, he can still barely get over the fact she’s his girlfriend.

‘It’s a ridiculous place to be in,’ he says. ‘She’s even more amazing than I thought. I was watching her do Fight For This Love [her debut solo single, from 2009] when I was a kid, and now we’re together with a kid. I feel like I’m X Factor’s biggest winner.’

It helps having Cheryl around to ask about business matters. Like Payne, she was scouted on a TV pop contest (2002’s Popstars: The Rivals), had massive success in a group (Girls Aloud), and then went solo with a more urban sound. She is also the unlikely possessor of the record for number-one singles by a British woman.

‘We think about the same things. She understands what my life is like. She knows what it’s like to sit on the Graham Norton couch [or] we can talk about her L’Oréal work. It’s not that we’re “a brand” as a family, but we can help each other.’

In Who We Are, one of One Direction’s seven books, published in 2014, Payne writes in his chapter that he’s ‘worried about the idea of failing outside of this band’ and declared he’d become a low-key songwriter, because ‘there would be less attention on my life’.

The opposite of that is what’s happening, I inform him.

‘Yeah, that was a point when I was scared of our success, and we didn’t want to take a step back from it,’ he says. ‘I just wanted to be a songwriter and not be famous, but happy. Then Simon and Cheryl told me this is where I am supposed to be, and I’d miss the stage. The pressure of what was coming next was scary, but they talked me down.’

The solo product he’s come up with is the sort of music he’d always wanted to make: radio-friendly R&B in the style of his heroes, Justin Timberlake, Usher and Pharrell Williams, and more informed by the rap music he listens to than the pop he’s famous for. Who knows if he can shake the ‘embarrassing dad’ brand to pull it off, but the signs point to success. Strip That Down has been streamed more than 300 million times on Spotify alone.

‘I wanted this to be for people my age. The themes are a bit older, but you have to grow up with your fans. I can’t make bubblegum pop any more,’ he says.

One Direction fans needn’t despair. They might have dispersed and almost all signed elsewhere, but Payne is excited about the idea of a comeback gig in years to come. As, I’m sure, are the band’s accountants.

But that won’t be for a little while, if Payne has it his way, because – as he keeps on telling me – he is just far too happy with his lot at the moment to take a step backwards. When it reaches our time to wrap up, he’s still at it.

‘I feel great about what’s going on in my life,’ he says, giving it one last handclap and springing to his feet. ‘I’m extremely lucky. I feel like I’m in a comatose dream. I’m like, “when did I last bump my head?” because I can’t believe this…’

Liam Payne’s next single, Bedroom Floor, is out on 20 October

#liam payne #liam's solo project #liam's promo #liam for the telegraph #liam & cheryl #dad liam #baby payno #1d hiatus or split? #liam about 1d #liam about simon #liam's album #Wow Liam could have been an Olympian... That's pretty impressive #That was a great interview where he finally let go and was honest. The guy must have had so much pressure while in the band #reading this once again reaffirms that what Zayn said first and was hated for has been corroborated by other members now that they are solo #I hope that fans realize now that people see what you write about them or hear about it.. Poor guy he must have felt like shit when people #were making fun of his weight.. Or every single time fans tweeted at him in outrage for something problematic. Like these boys are human #Also him kind of letting you know listen what you saw onstage while there was a bit of us in there it was mostly characters that we had to #keep on playing....Also him talking about the lack of recognition even though him and Louis had the most songwriting credits #Him confirming that the 4 his for their album FOUR which I guess holds a special place in his heart #And he reiterates that he is in a period of his life where he is blissfully happy. He has a child with a partner that understands & support #him and it looks like he has found what he wants to do career wise and is getting his footing as a soloist #Interestingly enough in this interview he is letting you know that the reunion if it overcomes it's not going to be anytime soon