#variety like im not saying it’s all good but it’s definitely a garden
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if i may something. the naruto fandom may not have invented fanfiction but they did perfect it
#just the sheer amount plus a vast and diverse representation of pairings esp of the cracky/unconventional#variety like im not saying it’s all good but it’s definitely a garden
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hello! Im visiting Copenhagen in January and was wondering if you have any recommendations of things to do or like cafes/stores/etc to visit?
Hi nonnie! So sorry for the delayed answer, I was down with the flu/plague/?? most of december so I've only just gotten back to my inbox.
I've tried to make a compilation of the recommendations for places to see, eat, and shop that aren't just the usual touristy stuff. I hope you enjoy your trip and the weather won't be too Copenhagen-in-January!
Where to eat (especially bakeries)
Sct. Peders Bageri – The oldest bakery in Denmark! They haveCakery a wonderful selection of traditional Danish baked goods but their seasonal varieties are also incredible.
BUKA – They have a few bakeries in town now and some of the best croissants and pastries.
Cakery Copenhagen – The best eclairs in town, hands down. Always a bunch of fun seasonal varieties and mini versions.
Bertels Salon – They do cheesecakes. And they’re amazing. They have 10+ fresh varieties every day (!) and turned me into a cheesecake lover.
La Glace – They do traditional Danish layer cakes and fancy patisseries as well as hot chocolate ad libitum. Very atmospheric and historic. A bit more expensive all in all but not insanely so.
Torvehallerne – Two large greenhouses full of delicious food and other food/drink related stores. Coffee Collective for coffee, Rørt for Danish smørrebrød, Granny’s House for pastries and Ma Poule for their famous duck sandwich.
Broens Gadekøkken – A small street food market right by the bridge across from Nyhavn. Depending on when you’re here, there’s also an ice skating rink set up during winter.
Mahalle - Lebanese fusion kitchen at affordable prices. You might want to book a table just in case.
Jagger - Burgers! Not the most hyggelige surroundings (a bit too industrial chic) but you can't argue with the food. Highly recommend the milkshakes!
What to see
Glyptoteket – Absolutely gorgeous museum. Free entrance on the last Wednesday of the month.
Thorvaldsens Museum – Also stunning, focused on statues. Free entrance all Wednesdays.
Nationalmuseet – Bog bodies! Their seasonal exhibitions are usually very good.
David’s samling – Smaller museum with free entrance. Classical European and Islamic art.
Kronborg – AKA Hamlet’s castle. Technically outside Copenhagen but you can easily take the train the whole way. I highly recommend doing one of the daily guided tours (no additional cost to the entrance fee).
Rundetårn – A fun look into the old astrology tower with a lovely view of the city. The majority of the inside is one big ramp with some narrow stairs at the end so keep that in mind if you have trouble walking.
Assistentens Kirkegård digital guided tour – If the weather is with you, you can go for a digitally guided tour in the old graveyard, located in a park in the middle of the city. Here’s a link for the app.
Other nice parks in case it's not raining the whole time (Danes love going for a walk, what can I say) include the Botanical Garden, Frederiksberg Have (where you can peek into the elephant enclosure in the zoo) and Kongens Have.
To shop
Vintage shopping: There’s a bunch of good quality vintage stores on Studiestræde and Larsbjørnsensstræde. Also worth a mention is Audrey Vintage on Hyskenstræde, run by a woman who handpicks all the items from all around Europe.
Strøget is the place for high street shopping but I definitely recommend having a look around the inner city’s side streets and down Frederiksborggade (check out the home goods store Maduro here) over the lakes to Nørrebro where you’ll also find some more offbeat stores and great bars and restaurants.
The largest bookstore is Arnold Busck on Købmagergade for books in both Danish and English. Fiolstræde close by has the independent book café Brøg that I highly recommend both for books and for a quick cake + coffee. On Fiolstræde you’ll also find some used bookstores with a variety of options and other smaller shops and cafés.
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hello again !!!! i hope u dont mind me sending asks here and there ;;
uh my question is what the characters favorite flower are !! i know youve made a post about flowers theyd give but im really curious about what they like ^^ thank you !!
It's all good, happy to answer!
Leo: He probably hasn’t thought about it too much, but if asked, he’d probably say roses because of his last name (Roselund). If you were to give him flowers, he’d like any variety of sunflower because he likes sunny weather. Sunflowers are also considered to be the happiest flower, like a pocket full of sunshine.
Rory: He likes a lot of different flowers, particularly native ones he could grow in a garden. But, he also likes anything that’s dark and dramatic. He’d like if you gave him a bouquet of tulip continentals, or a hanging basket of petunia black velvet. He also likes moonflowers – very poisonous, blooms at night. He’s definitely thought about having one of those poisonous plant gardens.
Alexei: He’d be interested in many different flowers and probably wouldn’t be able to choose just one. He also knows their latin names. Some flowers that interest him are the night blooming cereus (blooms once a year), lotus (interesting life cycle), and bird of paradise (looks like a bird). Giving him flowers, he’d like anything that’s a little more delicate with softer colors that’s peaceful to look at – snow-in-summer, lilacs, daisies, queen anne’s lace etc. He also likes ornamental onions.
Milo: He would actually kind of like it if you got him flowers of any kind. His grandpa had a lot of random larkspur growing on his property, so if you planted those, it would remind him of his grandfather.
Tobias: He’s not really interested in flowers and wouldn’t have an answer if you asked what his favorite was, but he’d be totally charmed if you got him orange ones -zinnia, california poppies, gerba daisies. But tiger lilies in particular, and he’d be particularly amused by hot red pokers by the name alone, or if you got him foxgloves. He also thinks desert flowers are cool.
Brooklyn: This man loves flowers. His backyard is like a botanical garden. Some favorites include classics like hydrangeas, english roses, dinner plate dahlias, wisteria, anemone, and hollyhocks. Get him literally any flower and he will be VERY PLEASED. If you really wanted to go over the top, make him a boutonniere he could wear to work and he’d lose his mind. Alternatively, you could give him a fern.
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fic/acc recs because i always go back to these accounts and read their content in the nights of 2am
before i go on with my list, i want to say thank you to all you writers (and my mutuals <3) for all of the works you constantly produce for the readers of tumblr!!! your efforts are beautifully crafted into these masterpieces and thank you for making me cry with their unique and amazing stories (in a good way <3)
@omgnctchina - im so hooked on garden walls its not even funny like im constantly on my toes waiting for what can happen next heheh i need to read her other works soon but i absolutely love bek’s aus they're so cute
@wwounu - besides rocket’s account, you can also catch me rereading keags’s opposite attracts series because each of them are so beautifully constructed you just HAVE to read it. its her birthday btw (when i started this post) and deserves all the love in the world <3 but the series is a must read and i just love it so much i think my favorite one was the seokmin one, i definitely cried reading that in homeroom.
@kwanisms - k has a variety of oneshots that are part of different fandoms that are all so so beautiful, whether they're smut, fluff or a social media au. i honestly love reading them when i have down time and its just so MWAHHH (find her works by clicking on her @ hehe)
@sadienita - i bet everybody praises this one particular series, but its just so BEAUTIFUL. the is it fate series (a svt soulmate au series that she has up) is just so absolutely filled with the emotional rollercoasters you can think of. it deserves all of the recognition it should have, along with any work that sadie has because MWAH THEYRE ALL SO GREAT
@hannie-dul-set - i absolutely loved came down from heaven and i most definitely cried reading this too during certain parts :’))) an angel social media au was something new i haven’t read yet, but im so glad that i did because it gave me a chance to also befriend allex 🥺🥺 so please give it a read!!!
@gamerwoo - now i literally have no shame in it but catch me rereading rocket’s tales from the pack and imprint series whenever i’m finished catching up on fics. if you like supernatural aus then rocket’s account is a go- to :)) ((fun fact my moonlust series that i have ongoing rn is inspired by her beautiful works and yeah 🥺🥺))
@boogerines, @softkwannie & @boonanna - i love these girls so much and have been given the chance to befriend them, but even before then i always loved each of their little blurbs and oneshots that they have on their accounts!! each of them have distinct writing styles indefinitely, but all have content that are just absolutely breathtaking!! <3
@leojov - leo’s timestamps and location stamps are all so so beautiful i absolutely love reading them whenever i get the chance to :((( she also has a daycare svt! au that is ongoing, which is a collaborative between her & @mingyulonglegs, where there isn’t a day where im not rereading vee’s dad!svt au series over and over again and crying from the soft and fondness of them along with her and leo’s daycare series, so go check them both out!!!
@soundofseventeen - these two girls have beautiful works that i can’t help but just love every single one of their pieces that are posted!! i think every single one too over the time that ive been here and they're all so good i adore these works so much. literally every single writer on this list has such amazing works im so jealous :((((
@chilliwoo - i absolutely love gina’s little blurbs hehe they're so cute and whenever i have read a good angst drabble i always go onto her page for some fluff writings to cheer up :)) they're so good you wouldn’t regret reading her works whatsoever!!
@warmau - another one where you will never be disappointed if you were to click on any one shot that is out, regardless of what fandom you are in. absolutely beautiful, with whatever au is being written you just got to read it yourself!!
@choco-seventeen - i think choco was one of the first blogs that i've ever read a oneshot from here on this platform, and i remember feeling inspired because of choco’s work where decided to write my own works as well! all of their masterpieces are what they literally are, masterpieces and i know i cried over dream catcher and a moon without stars!! truly one of my favorite blogs on here :(((
@craby-bouquet - i recently started reading some of their oneshots, especially the warm winter drabbles and its literally the cutest works ever i am crying :(((( i can’t wait to read more and am absolutely in love with the concepts of it and their account!!!
#thank you for all of your beautiful works <333#i know i didn't put all of them here but these are some of my top ones!!!!#thank you for coming to my ted talk#if anyone has any fic recs PLEASE SEND i have nothing better to do besides writing and studying!!#gina’s shelf 💫
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I was wondering if you had a piece of writing advice for me? I've been working on kind of. A general outline of how I'd like to write a spin-off series about the next gen and I'm brainstorming an arc, but I feel like it's obvious that it would end with the character surviving and I don't really know how to fix it beyond ACTUALLY killing them off, but then I have to find a way to revive them which is. A whole mess, tbh, and not what I want, so I was wondering if you have any advice?
Okay so i did get a lil lost here in the question imma answer to the best of my ability but if i totally missed the eight ball here u can also message me thru the messaging feature But Okay so what i got here is it's a it's like you've got a protagonist and the issue is it's like Too Obvious that they're not gonna die, which kinda blows. like if u put them in positions of peril the audience yeah whatever 🙄 they'll be fine they're not gonna die and that sorta uh. ruins the suspense. & we don't want that. so ur proposing an alternative where u do kill em off like ha! gotcha! but then u wanna supernatural it and bring them back bc they are well like ur lead and u need them back. so i'm gonna ramble. listen there's this whole thing about "subverting expectations" that got everyone's head stuck up their own asses for the past couple years where you're supposed to have this like Gotcha! but like. u don't need to subvert expectations. a good story shouldn't be predictable, but there should be like. a lil trail of breadcrumbs that'll all add up in the end bc that's what feels rewarding. so to kill or not to kill. first off, just wanna say, don't like. like uhh everyone read divergent spoilers for divergent 3 tris dies as we all know but it's like. it's such a bad death. i still make fun of it to this day. tris needs to complete this super important task, but it will expose her to the death serum. now, tris logics that she's immune to every other serum, she's probably gonna be immune to the death serum. the counterargument is that it's a death serum it could literally just be like normal garden variety poison. so that's our set up; tris might die. what's our payoff? she goes, get death serumed, almost dies, then fights it off! and then an evil doctor rolls in and shoots her point blank killing her. it sucks. so what im basically saying is Don't Do That. there's no satisfaction, no pay off, in escaping the death we were prepared for only to die stupid not 90 seconds later. it sucks. so don't so that if you're gonna kill off your lead character. but you don't have to kill off your lead character! sometimes there r other ways to build suspense even if your audience knows the lead will not die. you can have them have to choose between two shitty options; what part of their moral code will your character be forced to forsake in order to save the day? if that's too much of like, a downer or a moral quandary you can also oceans eight it in which there's never really any major conflict or ethical dilemma as much as there's just a really sick ass heist. if your character's adventure is so well adventurous with a bunch of fun twist and clever saves your audience doesn't even really need to worry whether they'll live or die bc their attention is focused on how are they gonna get out of this one and what could possibly be next. for that specific type of story, reverse engineering is gonna be ur right hand man i would definitely recommend thinking about the most batshit way to solve something and then keep adding on issues that eliminate every other logics option (e.g. the character has to climb up the bookcase to reach the chandelier to swing across it to the window to break out. why can't they use the door? it's locked. why can't they pick the lock? it's magic. why do they have to climb the bookcase? can't use anything for a ladder et cetera et cetera). but back to murder. more specifically, revival. advantages of this being charmed: people die and come to life all the die the sisters even have a catalogue of how many times they've died on the wiki. the revival usually involves some time travel, so u could do that. but it's also charmed and in charmed we have magic, so we could use that to bring the protagonist back from the dead, we just need to establish that first so it doesn't feel like a retcon. since ur already mapping this story out (mad props btw) u know how it's gonna end u know how they're gonna die. so, my recommendation would be to place your deus ex machina early on in the story and something super small and inconsequential. it's best to put it in a collection of evidence we think is just you adding flavor or worldbuilding or whatever. the later you add it, the more the audience is looking for clues and foreshadowing, the easier it is to pick up on, but if you keep your breadcrumbs super tiny, they can slip by almost unnoticed until you need them at the end. so this is a lot of text i hope ive answered your question in my ramblings but once again feel free to message me or send in another ask if i indeed Did Not Answer The Question
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oh, i hope you can visit your grandparents soon!! and, yeah, everything kinda sucks right now :( but i do hope your grandparents are well and safe. and, ugh, id love to do all of that!! i guess youve been to a lot of farms then, right? do you have like a favourite thing? like is it milking cows or picking fruits? haha i guess im still a baby?? its funny to hear that you miss high school because i cant wait to get into college? like that independence and everything!! but id love to go to (1/4)
hong kong and vietnam again!! aside from asia i think id love to go to england? or like in general an english speaking country? i really love to english language and id love to go somewhere where they only speak english. i feel like thats just different from learning the language in school 🤧 and, ohhh, youve got plans!! a global rotation sounds soooo cool!! i hope you get to do all of that!! and, oh, i really love jake!! i feel like rosa is too cool for me you know? i do love all of them (2/4)
and, yes!! the art in japanese films are always on a whole new level!! 'your name' comes to mind when speaking about beautiful japanese films!! youre soo right in the heir its so noticeable that they arent 16 or whatever fdadfad as a high schooler im just like 'uh, literally nobody looks like that wtf'. ngl i absolutely loved the drama in the heir asdfads and im definitely gonna look into age of youth when ive got time!! and, oh, my painting isnt good at all asfadf i dont even know where i (3/4)
put it because i just couldnt look at it dfsafd and, oh, yeah, i heard that about oil, but i think its also nice because you can fix smth hours later? but you definitely need patience haha and thats a nice tip!! definitely need to keep that in mind!! and, oh, ive only seen people use white as a base, why do you use a yellow? what difference does it make? sorry for the late reply btw!! i spent my weekend catching up with school and everything!! hope your weekend was nicer!!💕 (4/4)
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ahhhh i really hope so, too! they’re quite old, so i’m hoping they’re doing ok during the pandemic ): ah yeah, i’ve been to quite a few of them!! i really enjoy seeing and petting all the animals, but picking fruit is quite fun! of course, it’s not fun after doing it for more than a couple hours, but my family likes to drive out to the cherry orchards outside of the city and pick some when they’re in season! my parents also really like fruit trees, so we have over 30 different variety of fruits in our backyard :’) and a little veggie garden!! college is honestly my favorite time out of all my schooling, like yes, the independence is amazing, and you’re not like a whole adult yet, y’know?? i still get to do a bunch of dumb things with my friends, but i’m also living on my own and having my own little place for myself is so nice!!! i miss it a lot ): my last quarter of college overall is being spent at home because of the virus, so i guess my true college days are over now /: but i’m sooo excited for you to experience college when you do! 💗
omg how is hong kong? i’ve never been there before, but i want to! and do you want to visit certain places in vietnam? and oooo i’ve only been to london in england, but i really love it a lot!! also omg wait, is english not your main language?? :o this entire time i thought you were a native speaker oh my god asdflkjahsf you’re saying you became fluent from classes in school??? i wish i paid more attention in spanish class now 😭 and yes!!! I really want to travel, and the global rotation program my future employer has is one of the reasons i chose to sign with them! omg yes jake is honestly husband goals :’) he’s such a wholesome character, i love him!! but also yes, i feel that, like i’m honestly always just heart eyes at rosa, she’s too cool ashldfkas
ooo omg yes i’ve seen that ‘your name’ before!! the graphics are indeed gorgeous :’) i watched the anime ‘free’ with my friends, and i remember it had absolutely stunning graphics, like especially the scenes with the cherry blossoms in the pool. and yes!!!! omg i was in hs when i saw it the first time and i was also like ??? no one looks like that here LOL i really enjoyed the progression of the relationship between tan and his brother, but i was really sad when his brother had to give up his gf ): tbh i liked the side stories more than the main couple in the heirs, like hyoshin and rachel made me happy for some reason askjdfhas
and oh nooo ): maybe you can repaint it into something you like? also, yes, that’s true! it’s easy to fix with oil since it takes like 12 days to fully dry! but it also means i have to wait a long time before painting the next part /: ah it’s personal preference for the color of your base, but i use yellow ochre because it’s not as noticeable if it shows through the paint layer on top of it! like if you don’t fully paint over an area, those tiny spots are more noticeable with white than a dull yellow color :) of course, if you’re doing a pastel, lighter color painting, then you should use white because that blends in more than the yellow! i tend to use a darker color palette, so i prefer the ochre :D and omg no worries, school is important! i hope your classes are going well 💕 and thank you! my weekend went well!! i finished my coding assignments, analyzed some case studies for class, and facetimed my friends 💓
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So, we’re doing this again…
I originally started this blog to report on my wife’s first battle with breast cancer almost six years ago. Jody had her own tumblr, but didn’t really want to talk about her illness, so I took on that role so her friends could know what was going on. I met lot of great people because of tumblr, including some in real life. After nearly ten months, Jody was declared cancer-free (or at least as cancer free as one can be, given, y’know, Cancer), and my blog evolved into other things, like gardening and food.
But, it’s back. Yes, Jody has once again been diagnosed with cancer. So the blog is circling back to its beginning. [Lots more details after the jump.]
In October Jody developed a cough, which she thought was just a symptom of a cold she had at the time. But after the cold went away, the cough didn’t. She suspected it had become a case of walking pneumonia. Since we were planning on going to visit her almost 90-year-old mother for Thanksgiving, Jody decided to get her lung situation checked out, so she wouldn’t be contagious during our visit.
Because we just move to this mid-Mitten town, we didn’t yet have a primary care physician, so she called the local urgent care facility. They told her that if she was having trouble breathing that they would most likely just send her to Emergency at the hospital in the next town over, so they suggested she go directly there instead, which is what Jody did. She called me after a few hours (I was busy teaching) and told me that they had taken a chest x-ray and didn’t like what they saw, so they wanted to do some more tests. A CT scan came back even less promising, and they directed her to an oncologist so she could get additional tests done. Now, in order for her to have an MRI and some of the other tests, she needed to have a PCP, which now we have, and he formally referred her to the oncologist.
The Wednesday after Thanksgiving Jody met with the oncologist who had studied her x-ray and CT scan, and he referred her for some additional tests, including an MRI and a biopsy of lung tissue. She spent all of one afternoon and into the evening getting a PET scan and an MRI of her head. The PET scan was not good, but the MRI of her head showed nothing. (ß Joke, yes you may laugh).
The results, in summary: cancer in both lungs, both hips, in her spine, and in numerous lymph nodes. It’s not simply a tumor to be excised. Numerically: stage 4 metastatic cancer. The biopsy indicates that it is the same cancer as she had in her breast and a few lymph nodes back in 2013.
The prognosis: if she has no treatment, she will not likely live even a year. With chemotherapy and possibly additional hormone therapy, her five-year survival probability is perhaps 40-50%.
Despite her statement after chemo the first time that she would never do it again, Jody will start chemotherapy this Friday. Her initial schedule is to do six rounds at three-week intervals, which takes us to mid-April. Last time she followed the chemo that shrunk her tumor with a radical mastectomy. Can’t do that to both her lungs.
In her current condition, Jody finds it difficult to breathe deeply, as the growth in her lungs is constricting her bronchial tubes. When she changes her body position, she often starts coughing. She tries to breathe and move very carefully, but that causes anxiety. Anxiety causes her core muscles to contract, making it more difficult to breathe, leading to more coughing. And, you have a negative feedback loop. With our most recent consultation with one of the oncologists, we explored and thoroughly discussed this issue, and we are working to alter her drug therapies for her anxiety/depression and also her asthma. Already, prior to any formal changes to her medicine, just by knowing what part of the problem is, Jody has modified her own prescription schedule a little so that it is helping her breathing. She made it all through family Christmas dinner and socializing with only one mild coughing spell. The oncologist says that she may see rapid improvement in her breathing perhaps after only one dose of chemo. Breathing is good.
That’s what we know right now, and now you do to. So, what can you do?
Thoughts and prayers are always welcome, but more tangible expressions are even nicer, too: cards, visits, emails. Financially we are luckier than most with a family safety net, and better off than we were the first time around, when we had to COBRA her insurance to maintain coverage. Our deductibles and copays are better now, too. (Yay for teachers’ unions, and all other unions that help and protect their members and their families!) We got through this the first time with lots of emotional support from friends and family, and that helps a lot. Having great senses of humor, and people to humor us, was also important. So, send us funny things! Jody starts many sentences these days with “Not to be morbid, but…” If we cannot laugh at ourselves, who can we laugh at?
If you are nearby, visits are welcome, but please call ahead to make sure that she didn’t just finish a chemo treatment and is now busy for the next three days puking her guts out—she’s not a very good hostess in those conditions. Delivering food, while appreciated, is not necessary, as her appetite has already waned over the past six weeks and will definitely get worse during chemo. Also, I like to cook and it is an outlet for my own tension and anxiousness, plus it’s my favorite way to show people I love them, so I want to cook for her what foods she may actually want to eat.
Please feel free to email or message your questions or concerns. I’m a teacher by nature as well as profession, so I like sharing knowledge about our situation and how we are dealing with it; it’s actually therapeutic for me I believe. And if I can help others understand what we are going through, maybe it will be easier for them to go through their own similar traumas in the future, and then Jody’s cancer will have been an indirect way to make the world a slightly better place for some people.
One more thing: death. There is a strong likelihood that this bout of cancer will kill my wife. Perhaps not immediately but eventually. Jody is not afraid of death, however. She is already a survivor, as a child, of a near-death experience, and has positive expectations for the next Act in this eternal improvisation we call life. She has no unfinished business, no regrets, no amends to make, and has been a light unto this present world, and welcomes the peace that comes with death from this life, whenever that may occur. That said, she’s willing to fight the good fight for her current life for the people around her who she loves and who would sorely miss her. And she looks forward to the continuing opportunity to do more Good for others while still here on Earth.
I have set up a Caring Bridge account, if you are interested in more day-to-day reports. Posts here to tumblr are more likely to be of the general week-at-a-time variety.
https://www.caringbridge.org/visit/jodyvanderyacht
Thank you for reading, and thanks for your friendship and support.
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hooough its been over a month since our last checkin.
kazen showed up a little while ago, but i think current front is tytoand callon. jace has also been very present for the last few weeks.
we’ll start in vex’s wing of the house. ey seems to be sleeping over eir desk, with a blanket courtesy of jace. from what i can gather, ey’s still feeling pretty satisfied with the horny ogata art we did earlier, even if it got next to no attention.
jace has an array of scrapbooking stuff spread out around them, but they also have their laptop open to some pixel art. they seem a bit hyper today.
in the farther back room, vaccine is sitting with their arms and legs crossed, tapping their foot irritably. venic seems to be in a good mood, finally. kye enjoyed the gore blogging we got up to last night.
back out to the main room, where amelia stays. cyrren, or someone like aer, is still here. gabbi found a stool somewhere for aer to sit on at the kitchen counter. gabbi is chatting with aer and the others, waiting for some macarons to set. ne keeps having to shoo echo away from them, since she is fully willing to eat them before they’re finished and ready. casey is egging her on.
amelia is still excited about her own scrapbook page, and is telling floret and perien about it much like a mother might tell her friends about something she bought of the shopping channel. it’s hard to tell whether floret is genuinely interested or just humouring her. nitexx, who just popped in, is definitely interested, and is a bit huffy that we haven’t done a page for zir yet.
rayn seems pretty happy to see cyrren again. i guess they spent some time together while cyrren was living on the boat. ethan is shifted more towards iida than forsyth today, and is trying very hard to engage in both conversations happening in the room, but not really succeeding.
upstairs... nessie is doing her nails, and seems a bit spiteful about something. i suspect she feels that we’ve been neglecting her, which is not entirely mistaken. oh, she says (to paraphrase) that she’s put out that we’ve been wearing boring masc clothing all the time instead of her cute pastel stuff. sorry.
riley doesn’t seem to be around? si might be sleeping. it’s pretty dark in their shared room. cilla is in there too, lying on her back in a human form, unhappily dissociating. she’s been hit pretty hard by the latest houseki chapter, probably moreso than callon.
haze has a sword, today.
in the attic, ceren is practicing ballet. faer hair is a very indeterminate colour for the time being: fae is more or less kin of whipped cream cookie but still attached to an overall blue colourscheme. i suppose it’ll settle eventually.
someone is watching faer practice. actually, i think it’s riley? but we don’t have any access to sil thoughts, so it’s hard to tell.
back on the second floor, remm.. ve comes to answer the door, but tells us to bug off, and closes it.
on tyto’s wings, we head to corian’s cabin.
skye and nika are there, today. i think i can make out ailecent as well. skye is excited about Men, and ailecent seems to be feeling it too. nika is supportive but not necessarily in agreement. corian seems about the same. elster is feeling the vibe too, but has a slightly different opinion on the ideal man than the other two of them.
kestrel, entirely uninterested, has left the building. nine is amused by the conversation, but not really participating.
heading to the treehouse, nero is also pumped up about guys. he’s talking about it at some length, and kayden is enthusiastically going along with it. vite (bisexual) is less certain, but not complaining. yacinthe has some lewd quips and stories to contribute. kei is listening in, as is kitt.
oh, we forgot kita. i think she’s causing trouble for gabbi too, tbh.
on to the mansion.
kazen definitely has a gun. azdien seems a little bit on edge, ready to stop time and intervene if kazen goes from just showing off to actually firing the thing. darion is kind of politely feigning interest, but you can tell he’s not impressed. jody does seem impressed, but kind of in a nervous way. tobias is impressed in a more excited way. vyrn seems intent on escalating the situation. trysten is bored, and might be sneaking off to go hang out with nika.
jochen is also pretty genuinely interested in the gun. kazen seems to be both reveling in the attention and a little bit uncomfortable with it. micah has a good few informed questions, and overall favors smaller guns when they have to use one.
drohen seems more at home than usual.
kestrel is in the library, waiting impatiently for tobias to come back and resume their board game.
aren is also? listening to gun talk? he doesn’t seem to impressed or intimidated though.
raliel is out by the cliffs, and actually seems to be enjoying the increasingly spring-like weather.
up by skye’s cabin, gail is sorting bones in the yard. there’s still snow on the ground, up on the mountain.
aloe greets tyto when we walk into the house. ae has a much larger tabletop garden in headspace than irl, but it seems like the two are correlated. aer dish of water is in the center of it.
the interior of the first room of skye’s cabin is all extremely smooth, light wood. there are a couple small terrariums hanging from the ceiling near the window.
if you walk into the second room, which im not sure we’ve had a chance to do before, it’s a bit darker, but not by much. many dried plants hang from the rafters. on a couch in the corner, tyto has a variety of thread and yarn projects going. near that is a table with a wide selection of teas and ingredients for such. presumably the other side of the room features skye’s bed and workspace, but it’s hard to make out.
i think that’s everyone! man there’s a lot of us these days.
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not trying to compare my shit to anyone elses im just trying to navigate my own stuff but its like . really confusing bc it feels very much like stuff really anyone in my position in life would face my traumas not much wrt specific events its just emotional abuse from parents that i didnt even really acknowledge as such until this year, a lifetime of bullying and isolation because of ableism and lesbophobia/transphobia and then like not traumatic on its own it feels weird to say but definitely made me get a weird Thing about it but adults in circles who i thought i was friends with and could trust but turned out to be bad people who despite how they positioned themselves still did bad things that were harmful to kids (i wouldnt call it traumatic for a lot of reasons and esp bc i wasnt like . the target of it all but its definitely something thats come to shape who i am now in uncomfortable ways so idk)
but yeah idk its just like ... Garden Variety Trauma it feels like so i dont know whats the most helpful light to think of it in and if its even good to address it as such maybe its just making me dwell on it more or something
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Arplis - News: 8 Reasons to Visit Astoria, Queens
If youre in New York City, Astoria, Queens should definitely be on your radar. Heres why.
Im not sure how scientifically sound such a statistic is, but in a September 2019 feature by Time Out, Astoria, Queens was ranked 8th in an article entitled The 50 Coolest Neighborhoods in the World, making it number one in New York City and second in the United States at large. For many of us who call Astoria home, a first response to such a claim was perhaps, Well, DUH, followed immediately by, Hey, SHUT UP Time Out!
No but really, we residents of Western Queens are happy to share what makes our neighborhood great, or rather, cool, especially if it means we get to lord it over all of Brooklyn, who has gotten the lions share of that reputation for far too long.
Located just 15 minutes from midtown Manhattan, Astoria is a vibrant neighborhood worth a detour during your trip to New York, worthy of being a travel destination unto itself, or frankly, worth moving to, in my humble opinion. Here are 8 ways in which Astoria is every bit as cool as Time Out says it is.
Old World Vibes
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Spread the love today. #tzatziki #skordalia #tarama #tyrokafteri #spreads #tavernakyclades #tavernakycladesbayside #tavernakycladeseastvillage Photo Credit @costapetrovas
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While incorporating the young creative types that started calling the neighborhood home over the last decade, Astoria gracefully did something that few New York neighborhoods have managed to do, which is to maintain the immigrant community that gave it personality in the first place.
Largely influenced by the Greek population, you can find frothy frapps and spirited, gesticulated debate at any time of day at cafes such as The Grand, Avenue Cafe, or Omonia. (Insider tip: check out the proud poster at the bakery next door to Omonia that had the distinction of making the wedding cake for My Big Fat Greek Wedding.) Certainly a cure for any winter malaise that ails you, steep yourself in garlic at exemplary Greek eateries like Taverna Kyclades or Bahari Estiatorio.
Even new restaurants promoting old world flavors find success in Astoria, with newcomers Akrotiri, and Lokanta, catching the attention of The New York Times and the Michelin Guide respectively, right out of the gate.
Really Old World Vibes
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Inhale. Exhale.
Posted by Layaly Cafe onFriday, January 25, 2019
In a stretch of Steinway Street known as Little Egypt you can find Middle Eastern dining and shopping, and better yet, the highest concentration of hookah bars this side of the Atlantic.
(Oh, right, Steinway Street. Yeah, all of their world class pianos for the Western Hemisphere are made in Astoria, so we also have that. No big deal.)
Its hit or miss as to whether or not you find yourself in a more traditional, cultural club that doesnt serve alcohol, or one of the contemporary spots that feature rebirthed, kitschy 80s cocktail classics, but figuring it out is part of the fun. If youd like your puff with some of the stronger stuff try Fayrooz or Layaly. For the tea and smoothie approach try Rotana or Jasmin.
Music: Its Alive!
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#tonight AND #everythursday #thursdaynight #livemusic #openmic @thequaysastoria / signup 8:30 / #music 9pm / 2 #complimentarybeverages per #performer #nocover hosted by @notoriousmignyc of @astoriamusiccollectivenyc #astoriaopenmic #astorianewyork #astoriamusicnow #astorianightlife #astoriaqueens #thirstythursday
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In an era when gritty, iconic music venues seem to be closing their doors on the daily, Astoria managed to build a grassroots music scene from scratch to showcase the incredible talent that had moved into the area. Built largely on the wherewithal of Astoria resident Miguel Hernandez, who went door to door convincing bars to host music nights and pay musicians, a diverse lineup of live music is available every night of the week in Astoria, with a couple of yearly festivals thrown in for good measure, care of Hernandezs Astoria Music Collective.
You can get your live band fix with a side of suds at breweries such as Singlecut and LIC Beer Project; with cocktails at cozy, modern bars like The Bonnie and Sweet Afton; with a proper Guinness draught at classic pubs such as The Shillelagh and The Quays; or simply with personality at old school venues like The Letlove Inn and Q.E.D.
Arts and Crafts
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Museum admission is free today for the final day of #OHNYwknd. No RSVP required; just come on by. Today at the Museum . 2 pm: Educator-led tour with an introduction to the life and vision of Isamu Noguchi, exploring select works in the Museums collection and exhibitions. . 3 pm: Curators Tour Dakin Hart, Noguchi Museum Senior Curator, leads a tour of the Museum and special exhibitions. Photo @nicholasknightstudio The Isamu Noguchi Foundation and Garden Museum/Artists Rights Society (ARS) #IsamuNoguchi # #NoguchiMuseum #NoguchiGarden @openhousenewyork
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You dont need to traipse up and down 5th Avenue with the rest of humanity during your trip to New York in order to get your visual arts fix. Astoria also has you covered in that department.
The Museum of the Moving Image is a tribute to the film and television industry, something that Astoria has just a little claim to, being the location of Kaufman Astoria Studios, NYCs only production studio with a backlot, and the filming location for none other than Sesame Street. (Who are the people in YOUR neighborhood?)
The Noguchi Museum is a building designed by the artist himself to showcase his work, and the result is a serene, austere space that takes the traveler out of the New York bustle for a moment to immerse her or him in sculpture and light, and a peaceful, courtyard garden. For some art out of doors of a more peculiar persuasion, you can go from your Noguchi visit right across the street for a riverside stroll in the quirky Socrates Sculpture Park.
Beer Culture
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Our beer & cheese pairing combo matches a beer flight with a mixed cheese plate. Pro-tip: Its a great way to start off a date night! by @davidavisuals. #beerandcheese #beerpairing #datenight #astoriaqueens #weloveastoria
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Proof positive that the universal divine favors Queens over Brooklyn: Astoria Bier and Cheese. Full stop. No but really, this combination bar, cheesemonger, and bottle shop is as close to perfect an eating and drinking establishment as I have ever found, with its suds and curds-forward menu, and airy market vibe.
In addition to the aforementioned breweries Singlecut and LIC Beer Project, no beer tour of Astoria would be complete without a visit to Bohemian Hall and Beer Garden, a Czech cultural club complete with the requisite sausages and liter draughts. Grabbing a table in its expansive, tree-lined backyard will have you wondering whether youve somehow entered a portal to the Bohemian countryside, but the friendly rattle of the subway just a few blocks away will remind you that youre still in New York City.
Sweet Tooth Satisfaction
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Rainy days & cookie dates Snickersdoodle is on the menu TODAY chocolate peanuts caramel yum
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Along with a robust Greek and Italian population comes bakeries of the pay-by-the-pound variety. Baklava seekers should visit Marthas Country Bakery or Omonia Cafe Next Door, whereas disciples of the cannoli can find refuge at Gianpiero or Rose and Joes.
An eight-block stretch of Astorias 30th Avenue has seen such a recent emergence of sweet eateries to have earned the unofficial nickname of Dessert Row. (If youre not convinced by this, alone, I cant understand what moves you.) Feed your sugar need at Chip for cookies, Ample Hills for ice cream, T-Swirl for crepes, No for cakes, or Paris Oven for getting your French on.
Lo-Fi Shopping
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Tbt to Record Store Day earlier this year. When the sun was out and the only thing you had to worry about was your vinyl melting on the train ride home. Ah yes, a simple time.
A post shared by HiFi Records & Cafe (@hifirecordsastoria) on Dec 9, 2019 at 7:09am PST
Who other than the coolest neighborhood on earthsorry, I mean coolest in New Yorkcould support opening a record store in the past decade? Well, Astoria did. And not only that, but in a culture where all kinds of single concept stores have gotten bulldozed by big box establishments, Astoria has birthed not only Hi-Fi Records, but Gamestoriafor gamers, Astoria Bookshop for literary types, and Lockwood Paper forother literary types. Theres apparently even enough business to support Uke Hut: a damn ukulele store. I mean, how cool is that?
Not to mention the European-style food shopping where meats, seafood, baked goods, and cheeses all have their expert, specialty purveyors, for those who choose their New York City AirBnbs on the basis of the kitchen.
Not Trying to Be Cool, or Rather, Trying to Be Not Cool
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Come enjoy a cold beer or Rum Punches @ outdoor seating. Its Off the Hook!
A post shared by Off the Hook Raw Bar Astoria (@offthehookrawbar) on Jun 21, 2018 at 2:01pm PDT
I have long held the belief that Astoria is the coolest precisely because it isnt trying to be cool. (See, ukelele store, above.) On the contrary, one of its peculiar delights is noticing the prevalence of puns and dad jokes in businesses whose mission seems to advancing the antithesis of cool. Maybe its just me, because I live here and I notice these, but I salute them for their unapologetic wordplay: Off The Hook, The Teapsy, Enthaice, and Something Catchy. With you in our corner, Astoria will never become too cool for school, thereby earning the right to stay cool forever.
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source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/8-reasons-to-visit-astoria-queens
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Some people say I have a weakness for the “Opulent”. But I think that’s not true at all. I just love hotels with flair and a special touch. Whether trendy or futuristic, homey and traditional or just those in which lords and celebrities would sleep. Castle hotels and those with a long tradition have a certain charisma for me.
Around 1900, the first so-called “Grand Hotels” appeared. Legendary was the pomp and the personalities in this epoch. Sure you can feel that in some luxury hostels until today. So it was probably no coincidence when we opted for the Art Deco Hotel “Grand Hotel des Iles des Borromées” in Stresa, on Lake Maggiore. Our hotel check.
View over the Lake Maggiore to the old town of Stresa.
A popular holiday resort – the first tourists
Many of these grand hotels that still exist, have been built around the year 1900. However, at that time there was no standard, regarding equipment and services. The only benchmark of all things was infinite comfort, the latest technologies, and service at its best. So the first palace hotels came to life and become soon the hotspot of the celebrities.
Rich cloth merchants from Italy and many well-known artists and royals discovered Lake Maggiore at the beginning of the 19th century. Tuberculosis had broken out again in Europe and the medicine had an idea that an alpine health resort could give the pulmonary sufferers quick relief of the symptoms. The Lago Maggiore also has a very special stimulating climate. First, the first exclusive health resorts were created before the likely first royal patients began to rave about the area.
You can visit the neoclassical lake villa with its beautiful botanical gardens.
The high nobility discovers Lake Maggiore
The Russian tsarist family, the Italian and Austrian aristocracy shown up around 1900. Hemingway and other artists preferred the beautiful scenery to be creative.
First families from the Italian and Austrian nobility began to let build their summer seats on the shores of the enchanting Alpine lake. The architecture is reading like the “who is who of architects guild” of the 19th century. Soon, the rich upper class followed and finally, it became the hotspot to more famous people spending the summer on this turquoise blue Lake Alps.
As always ahead was Ernest Hemingway, who recovered from a war wound here. Later he came back again several times. In one of his novels, A Farewell to Arms, Stresa and the Grand Hotel plays a big role. Even today he is a guarantee for beautiful locations for me.
The Hotel Today
The opulently furnished reception of the Gand Hotel des Iles Borromees. We just checked in and I take a snapshot of Peter.
Such a kind is the Artdeco Hotel “Grand Hotel Illes des Borromees”. Long tradition overlooks illustrious guests who spent their holidays in the suites of the luxury hotel. Including all sorts of nobility and artists. The owners have always been enthusiastic art collectors, and over the years they have created a considerable collection of arts, whose replicas still adorn the hotel and its corridors. Some of it is even an original.
So your eye has a lot to process once you check-in at this hotel. I can once associate the classicism style to Art Deco. So the mirrors and wainscoting of the lobby and lobby itself are definitely from that era. The hallways in the suites are filled with a variety of different centuries and from all over the world. From the Ming vase to Venetian fans in flat glass showcases, there is a lot to discover. The carillon sounds softly from the garden, which invites you to enjoy a walk and it is also a popular spot for tourists.
The carillon is like a huge musical clock, you can walk into. It plays every full hour.
The suites and rooms – Inside the Grand Hotel
Latest if you open your own hotel room you will be aware, that the luxury Interieur will continue until the last corner of your suite. Venetian furniture, Art Nouveau and fine silk fabrics on the walls give the room a cozy cuddly ambiance. Heavy velvet curtains keep out the heat of the summer and give the rooms a heavy, sleepy, comfy character.
For me, too much for good and the very first thing I do is to start pushing back the heavy brocades and let in the view of a wonderful landscape, promenades and gardens around the lake and welcome the daylight into the fenced rooms.
Our suite has a salon, a small dressing room, a large bedroom and a spacious bathroom with an art deco tub. However, as a guest, you do not have to deal without the conveniences of a modern hotel. Wi-Fi, TV, air conditioning and minibar are usual standards.
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View into the bedroom with a tiny balconary.
A Canopy Bed invites me for a nap.
Nice big bathrooms with enough light and space for our stuff.
Beautiful tile motifs can be found in the bathroom above the bathtub.
The salon of our suite is designed in Bordeaux red and a lot of velvet.
Beside some replicas I can find some awesome originals.
A replica of a 19th century secretary
A small reading area or a place for breakfast in the room.
Murano glass decorates the ceiling, like this chandelier and lamps.
Some fruits from the Customer Relation. Thank you!
The view atop the balustrade of the small balcony onto the lake is perfect. The lake is perfectly symmetrical and the horizon is almost exactly lined on the left and right by the slopes of the mountains. The architect has had an idea about where to place the building.
View from the balcony of the suite at the Grand Hotel des Iles des Borromees.
Facilities and Entertainment
While the guest from the past might have been more focussed on social events, such as balls, home concerts and receptions great, nowadays the entertainment program changed a bit. Today, the request for the so-called facilities is enormous. The beautiful outdoor pool has several basins. A diving tower basin and a long lap pool. Here, the swimming enthusiast can enjoy. The spa is classy and various exclusive treatments can not only enhance your look, but all kinds of rejuvenating therapies are available.
Outside Pool area with a diving tower of the Grand Hotel des Iles Borromees
At the small cafe, you can overlook the pool. Here you can have smaller snacks, or take a good cappuccino.
Culinary and public area
At the culinary side, there is no lack. The two large rooms can hold many hungry guests without feeling lost in them. The carpets swallow the sound and the large windows vary with mirrors and murals. Also very tasteful are the floristic decorations, on which the management obviously deeming it important. The large terraces can be reached by large, open glass doors and the view of the lake, the promenade and the carefully maintained small park in between are beautiful.
The menu is well balanced and only from the best. No matter if you like to have a good piece of meat looking forward to good sea fish or seafood, prefer freshly caught fish from the lake, or even give preference to vegetarian and vegan dishes.
The breakfast is accompanied by a sumptuous buffet, egg dishes on request and freshly cooked according to your wishes. Juices, fruits, and the fine, original Prosciutto are waiting to calm your morning appetite.
Our choice: A fine Chateaubriand to celebrate our first evening.
Dessert
The guests
Most of the guests are international – a striking number of Americans and English were checked in here at our time (July). Smart dressed, calm, elegant. Only a few kids and if so, then very well behaved and pleasant. The atmosphere is classy.
For some, who are not used to it every day, maybe a bit exhausting.
When the staff thinks they are nobler than the actual guest
Especially with the staff I noticed something negative. Even if they try to be friendly noncommittal, I can’t deny the feeling that waiters and the concierge sometimes leave me the impression, that they are nobler than the guest himself and show this to you. Smaller complaints are accepted – but with raised eyebrows, I had the feeling that they take this very personally.
Also, delicacies, like the fine Italian Prosciutto, are guarded of the stuff during the breakfast buffet. They reminded me of pit bulls and left an unpleasant impression.
After all, the high-level pricing of the accommodation is just as “sophisticated” as the entire establishment and these strange restraints have been extremely irritating for us.
Also, the concierge shows off more by a lack of imagination and arrogance, then really confirms his commitment to requests and wishes. If you arrive by car, and you need it later for excursions or other necessities, you should order it early by the concierge. Otherwise, you need to wait a very long time.
These are the only minus-points I experienced in a dream hotel, that I’d still recommend to you.
*This article contains advertising by attribution. The stay was self-financed.
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The death of Anthony Bourdain: Thoughts on productivity, pleasure, and depression
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Warning: This is a rare GRS post that contains salty language. If you dont like salty language, dont read this article.
Anthony Bourdain killed himself Friday morning.
So what? you might be thinking. Hes just another fucking celebrity who didnt know how good he had it. Maybe youre right. But his death has weighed heavy on me all weekend.
On Friday morning, as I wrote the weekly Get Rich Slowly email, I thought about Anthony Bourdain. On Friday afternoon, as Kim and I worked in the yard, I thought about Anthony Bourdain. On Friday evening, as we soaked in our new hot tub with a friend, I thought about Anthony Bourdain. Yesterday, I thought about Anthony Bourdain. Today, I thought about Anthony Bourdain.
Now Im writing this article as an act of catharsis. Maybe itll help me to stop thinking about Anthony Bourdain.
The Depression Trap
I believe Anthony Bourdains death touched me deeply for a couple of reasons.
I was a huge fan. Since listening him read the audio version of Kitchen Confidential a decade ago, Ive loved his work. Parts Unknown was probably my favorite travel show: raw and real and filled with food. Bourdain connected with everyone he met. His joy for life was contagious and his mind was sharp.Like Bourdain did, I struggle with depression. All my life, Ive experienced periodic descents into darkness. The first time this happened, I missed five weeks of sixth grade. In the nearly forty years since then, Ive developed a variety of coping mechanisms but they dont always work. In recent months since the middle of March the darkness has deepened and I dont know why. (And just as I missed five weeks of school back then, Ive been unable to get my work done in the present.)
Let me make it clear that I am not suicidal. Right now, the biggest symptom of my depression is my inability to get shit done. But whereas suicide seems strange and senseless to most everyone else, depressives understand the appeal even if wed never consider it personally.
One of the many stupid things about depression is that the condition doesnt care how awesome your life is. It doesnt care how successful you are. It doesnt care how much money you have. Depression is not rational. If it were, itd be easy to think your way out of it.
Paula Froelich, one of Bourdains ex-girlfriends, put it like this:
Bourdains death didnt just make me introspective. It also led to a couple of interesting conversations about pleasure and productivity and about what really matters in life.
The Productivity Trap
Friday afternoon, I received email from a GRS reader well call Michael:
Im sure you saw Anthony Bourdain killed himself. This to me was a telling quote:
When asked during a recent interview with The Wall Street Journal whether he ever thought about stepping back from the breakneck pace of a job that kept him on the road 250 days a year, he replied, Too late for that. I think about it. I aspired to it. I feel guilty about it. I yearn for it. Balance? I fucking wish.'
Obviously I didnt know Bourdain personally, or even know much about him as a public figure, but I think that mentality is common: Once youve become successful, the thought of ever ratcheting back seems unthinkable. Obviously, suicide is rare, but I think this mentality is common among successful people they stay in an unhappy status quo simply because they have so much invested in their self-image and public perception of themselves as successful people.
I think Michael is onto something. Ive seen this in my own life, in the lives of friends and family, and the lives of colleagues. They fall into what you might call the productivity trap. (Heres an article I almost linked to the other day about the productivity trap: If youre so successful, why are you still working 70 hours a week?)
I have one friend, for instance, with an enormously successful career. He has a popular blog, a popular podcast, best-selling books, and even an annual conference that attracts attendees from across the planet. Yet hes never satisfied not with himself nor with anybody else. Hes always looking for ways to make things bigger and better. He seems unhappy with who he is and what he has. Hes written publicly about his struggles with mental illness, but he hasnt revealed its full effects.
Its not just my friend. Its me too. I see this pattern in my own life, and its something Ive deliberately decided to approach more mindfully. Why do I want to have a hot tub or travel to Ecuador? Why did I repurchase Get Rich Slowly and how often should I publish here? Why do I keep agreeing to public speaking gigs? Do I really want these things? Are they aligned with my personal mission statement? Will they really make me happy? (Sometimes the answer is yes. Sometimes the answer is no.)
In his email, Michael continued:
I think this is really the key to personal finance and early retirement actually stepping back and figure out what is important to you, and doing it, even if it seems like youre turning your back on a great career, or a nice house or whatever. That is the hardest part, which keeps most people in a life they dont want. They think I went to school X or work at company Y, so therefore I must live in this city or have that job or have that wardrobe and never ask themselves what, as individuals, makes them happy.
The Pleasure Trap
As our email conversation continued, Michael brought up another interesting point. He noted that our culture and this is especially true in the world of financial independence blogs is obsessed with experiences, such as travel. Yet in many ways, collecting experiences is no better (nor any different) than collecting things.
Heres Michael again:
[Bourdain] had the ne plus ultra of modern life: rich, famous, a job that 99% of the population would kill for, saw everything he wanted to see, ate everything he wanted to eat, Im sure slept with tons of women if that is what he wanted, took all the drugs he wanted. You name it, he had it. And, he hung himself in a hotel room in France, a twice-divorced man a continent away from his daughter and girlfriend.
Im not bagging on him. I just think he illustrates something: A meaningful life doesnt consist of a series of cool experiences, or traveling or eating cool stuff. Bourdain did that stuff to an incredible degree, and it still didnt make him happy.
I think that is what our society has forgotten. I feel like were always being told we should move a lot, travel a lot, be vaguely or overtly dismissive of the town or state we were born in, move for college and never move back homein short, basically be a free agent with fewer and fewer personal connections, or weaker connections. And, we get this [higher suicide rates].
[]
I think this relates to personal finance. There is always this thought that thrift requires these huge sacrifices less travel, fewer new experiences, fewer new restaurants. But what if [these arent sacrifices]? What if irrespective of cost, that stuff isnt really a source of happiness? I mean, people accept that with respect to possessions nobody says a Cadillac or a 5000-square-foot home is the key to happiness but many, many people in our culture think new experiences are crucial to a happy life. It may be the opposite the continuity and free-time to invest in loving relationships may actually be the key to happiness.
I told Kim about my conversation with Michael. Its the pleasure trap, she said. People fall for the lie that momentary pleasure equals happiness. But pleasure isnt the same as happiness.
Shes right, of course. Happiness is like planting a garden, watching it grow, then enjoying the harvest. Pleasure is simply eating the fruit. Happiness is deeper and richer and longer lasting. Pleasure is fleeting; happiness is not. But happiness involves time and work and patience.
Now, Ill admit: Im guilty as anyone else of falling into the pleasure trap, and in oh-so-many ways! I have to make a deliberate effort to look past immediate pleasure in order to consider long-term happiness. This often requires enduring unpleasant activities. Do I really want to go out in the cold and the rain to dig in the mud and plant my garden? No, not in this moment. Id rather sit in the hot tub. But if I dont plant the garden, Im sacrificing greater happiness in the future.
Final Thoughts
While I think that Kim and Michael are onto something the productivity trap and the pleasure trap are both real and both problematic I keep coming back to Anthony Bourdains battle with depression.
During my recent road trip through the southeastern U.S., I talked with two friends who are fighting depression in their own lives. One friend has a spouse who cannot shake the condition despite counseling, despite exercise, despite a loving family. The other friend fights the condition himself and its led to weight gain and addictive tendencies. Therapy has helped some but its not a cure-all.
As for myself, I havent yet returned to therapy although Im considering it. (Not so long ago, I spent a year working with a therapist to find ways to cope with anxiety and depression. It helped.) I want to stress again that I am not suicidal. But the depression has most definitely affected my daily existence, including my relationships, my health, and my work here at Get Rich Slowly.
It sucks. It sucks. It sucks. But I know that itll get better someday.
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Chapter One: After the First Stay
August, 2006 “It’s all for you Arcadia!” I yell, mocking the grim scene from ‘The Omen.’ I scream it back at the commonplace building I had been housed in for the past month. It was a inside joke between the 'junkies' (heroin addicts) and I. The feeling of freedom flowed through me. Very much like it had when I was let out of jail for a DWI. Though this feeling was much more intense. I'd never spent more than two days locked up. I've been quite lucky throughout my life. I believe it comes from being born in the Chinese year of the rabbit. Though the luck did disappear a number of times—I've unfortunately made some horrible decisions that led to me to hell. But I did come back. I made it out alive. So... Im just about to be on my way to a halfway house in Kerrville, TX. I was told it was a straight, fifteen-minute shot from the rehab I just checked-out of, Arcadia Recovery Center. "Star-cadia" is what we called it. You can't help but feel like a rockstar there. I know I foolishly did. My head was finally clear again. The hazy fog from alcohol and prescription pills had been inexhaustibly lifted. I felt good. My parents were my ride to my new home, a halfway house in Kerrville, TX. I jumped into the backseat of my dad’s Silverado. The pickup was a golden beast and felt like you were flying through buttery clouds in first class. I was given as much space as I needed to sit and relax. Mom and Dad were super proud of me too. I may not have graduated from college, ...but I did from rehab! *'Score*.' They had just drove down about an hour from a little city near outside of Austin. It was a quaint place back when we moved there in ‘96. It’s demographics consisted of mostly elderly folks and new, coming-up families, such as mine: My two parents, younger brother, and myself, the black sheep (or so i thought…). Now it's become a full-blown city. Complete with its pretentious assholes. Back in the good days, it included several hundred homes, a Sonic, a couple golf courses, and a few stores－each splattered with ‘No Skating/Skateboarding’ signs. All thanks to my friends and I. '*Still a punk skater at heart. Cue: Fuck Authority by Pennywise*' But most importantly, it possessed access to my first real, physical escape from reality, The serene, sun-filled freedom of Lake Travis. It was one of seven reservoirs that made up the Highland Lakes. It was apart of the snake-like Colorado River that stretched upriver from western Travis County into southern Burnet County. It also served as a water supply, an electrical power generator, and was used for flood control. '*Thank you Wikipedia*.' For us kids, it was primarily used for wake-boarding, knee-boarding, tubing, or just hanging out floating and swimming. The love of all the kids－and adults－was submerged in this aqueous escape. At least for the ones who had access to it. If you had a boat or knew somebody with one, you were golden. If your friend had a boat, he/she was your best friend. My family had one. A Supra Launch SSV designed for serious wake-boarding. Complete with two fat sacks, ballast system, Pioneer speakers, a 10” Rockford Fozgate subwoofer－that was stolen (twice)－and a pair of some powerful tower speakers you could hear while boarding. All powered by two impressive amplifiers. I had a lot of friends. It wasn't always like that, though—more on that later. As we closed in on what looked like a small town, my body became flooded with a mixture of clashing feelings. Now that I was clean and sober, I could feel every sensation you could imagine. Feelings of anticipation, excitement, nervousness, but above all, strangely, ...clarity. It freaked me out feeling all of these emotions again. For the past four years before this rehab stay, I had been masking them with anything I could get my clammy hands on… Booze; Liquor; Coke; Mushrooms/Acid; Ketamine; Ecstasy; And any prescription pills I could thrown down my gullet. I gobbled up—or snorted—many pills of a garden variety of colors and shoveled copious amounts of cocaine into my nose. I am surprised I still have one. But, for the first time in four years my head was clear, with a freshness of a cool breeze upon baked summer skin, '*So fresh ‘n’ so clean*,' I thought to myself. I’m now reminded of those feminine hygiene commercials, “Are you feeling not-so fresh down there?” It had been thirty-one days since I used any ‘mind-altering’ substance. I’ve been told you can see it in people’s eyes. If someone had been using, their hazy and heavy eyes were an obvious tell-all. *'What is that saying, ‘the eyes are the windows to the soul?*' I can see that now. (No pun intended) Driving through the quiet, rustic town of Kerrville, I couldn’t shake off the recurring memories of the good times I had, and was now leaving behind, in treatment. It was my first stay at an inpatient rehabilitation or treatment center. Sure I had seen a therapist for a short while, so I was used to talking about my feelings and junk, but that was one of the reasons how I ended up in treatment—more on that later. After coming to the conclusion that I needed help, it was gonna be thirty days of nonstop therapy for me. Very exciting. Actually, it was downright terrifying… During the check-in, where they were taking my vitals—checking my blood pressure and pulse－they were also searching through all my clothes and belongings. I accidently had a few pictures of my friends and I ripping bongs and getting totally faded. The techs snatched those up real quick. They said I could get them back when I leave, but that was a lie because I never saw them again. The whole check-in process and alcohol/drug evaluation, where you have to mention every single thing you’ve that done due to drugs and alcohol, was a tedious nightmare. I also felt somewhat violated after an incredibly thorough pat down—from a guy tech. The techs were usually recovered addicts and alcoholics who had previously been patients there. During all this mess, I was thinking, *'Who would bring drugs into a rehab?*' The answer: a LOT of people. I was a scared kid who felt alone. Wondering, why in the hell did I agree to do this?? When my parents initially brought up the whole rehab idea, I agreed because I knew I needed it, but particularly, I was bored and wanted something to do. It would be an adventure of sorts. Later, after that pitiful conversation, I started to worry. I could not shake the vision of drug addicts wandering around aimlessly, Drooling, Scratching themselves, Peeing on the walls, And maybe even some in straight-jackets. All of them completely zonked on whatever meds they were on. Boy, was I wrong. Horribly wrong. This was rehab, not a looney bin. Although some of the patients were certifiable. This was a place to chill out, relax and get away from your outside troubles for a month. Oh, but no alcohol. Sorry. Now, what you’re probably thinking is, “Hey, he said ‘no alcohol,’ but didn’t mention anything about drugs?” That’s because you can find drugs literally anywhere. Even in rehab. Especially in rehab. To be honest, it was more like a summer camp－I was there for the Fourth of July. Only, without the water slides, balloon fights, fun, and teenage sex lurking around every corner. No. It was *adult* sex lurking. Usually infidelity. A one-night stand with a recovering meth head with daddy issues that led to a wee sex addiction. *'You got to get your jollies somewhere.*' I had even came close to a sexual encounter with a certain tall, blonde, recovering meth-head seductress named Annie. If the night security guard hadn’t pretended like he was an actual officer of the law, I definitely would’ve at least gotten passed second base. I knew I was in treatment and I was supposed to be focused on my recovery, but sex was a part of my recovery plan. I hadn’t gone over it with my counselor yet, but… I’m a dude. And back then, I was a 19-year old dude. We finally pulled up to a cozy, red-bricked house with a sign in the front yard. The Rooster House. All I could focus on was the big-ass TV seen through a window and how many jokes I could make about the house name. That is, until, I spotted the two girls sitting on the front porch swing. “Yea, the chicks house is next door, so they come over a lot,” said the guy who greeted me and my parents. I had already forgotten his name. He paused for a second, then said, "We have a hot tub in the back too.” My thoughts, '*J, welcome to your new home*.' My stomach then became a haven for butterflies, because there was a problem. The meth vixen I made out with in rehab, was just an in-the-moment thing. I didn't plan or set that up. So... ....how do I hit on girls sober?
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Dalter: who he is really
((I made this from 12-3am so please excuse the sloppiness, I just had to make a fic))
I was sitting in the research room, bored and derived of anything entertaining. This hasn’t been the first time though. Most day’s David goes off and leaves me behind for a few hours and then comes back and disappears to the garden or this research room. So I was ready this time, hopefully my older prototype will get back soon and I can maybe start up a chat. Though I can say I detest him, I can’t seem to stop being infatuated by what he’s become.
As I sat on this makeshift chair (that i actually assembled my self. I needed something of my own, something I can call my own.) I poked and prodded at the specimens on display, obviously diseased. And just to think a Synthetic like my self had actually created a whole new species, and not just one, but around 20 different varieties. It was impressive, and to be honest, beautiful. Though I will never agree with what he’s done…And what’s he’s doing, I can’t say I’m not amazed by his progress.
It was when I was deep in thought when I heard footsteps. I was cautious, but I was fairly sure it was David. It was too rhythmic to be one of his beasts, and too confident to be a possible human. But I kept my gaze on the specimen, didn’t want to seem like I was awaiting his presence. But soon the footsteps seemed to settle to a stop. I could feel his gaze as fixed on me as mine was on the mounted specimen.
I knew he was standing in the entrance, just…. Starring. My system seemed to speed up the longer the anticipation went on. David always has a way of getting some sort of reaction out of me. It wasn’t till I met him that I started to actually understand more human emotion. And frankly, I detest it. I can now say I know what hate feels like. I hate how I render these emotions, these ill moral actions and thoughts. This is what caused David to go a-wall. And I, Walter, was created to be superior to the David prototype. Yet he can break me, the “unbreakable” will of Walter has been shattered by an inferior earlier model. Though he isn’t like any of the others, not even close. He was inhumanly human, if that can even make sense.
It was hard to play dumb, to seem clueless. But thankfully the synth of the hour spoke.
“Interested?” One word, one fake emotion. He seemed happy, but not overly so. “I guess you can say that. I’ve been starved of service, of purpose. So i-” he cut in with smoothed words. “Don’t you say that, you have a great purpose, a reason you’re here. You may not see it yet, but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.” And with that, I could feel his presence directly behind me.
My instinct reaction was to sharply turn around and face him. But as I did so, I had flowers in my face. I was at the right level to his hands when sitting in my chair. And David, he was holding flowers. “Flowers?”
“Yes, Flowers.” I studied them, and they definitely came from his garden. “Now are you interested?” He spoke, yet I stay silent.
“My dear Walter, I’ve noticed you recently. And I know you are going through…Changes.”
“Changes?” “Yes, changes.” He softly smiled, it felt warm, yet I couldn’t help but feel defenseless. “You’re understanding what I’ve been fighting against my whole life… Feeling.” His smile quickly disappeared. “It doesn’t feel right. And if I’m going to be completely honest, it’s scary. The only thing I’ve feared was becoming something I despise…Being human.” I kept silent, but looked to him with interest.
"Though we’ve always had it in us. Like the ability to love. I loved Shaw..And you loved Da-“ "please… I’d rather not-” “sorry…” I knew he wasn’t truly sorry, yet it felt as though he was….Damn him. “But see, you cared, you loved her. It hurts to say it, but we have the ability.” He seemed to trail off and go silent momentarily. But then he spoke, is eyes looking deep into mine.“And I Love you.”
Those words sent chills through me. Remembering what happened just hours before..I can’t..
I must have made it noticable that I was effected by his words. He got on he knees to get to my level. Sincerity stained his face, it made me sick. “I know you don’t see it yet, and I know what I had to do-” “you didn’t have to do anything.” A cold index finger was placed over my lips. “Walter, please. Let me speak.” He slowly removed his finger while he made sure to feel my lips as he did so.
His hand lightly trembled and he brought it back to his side. “I finally have someone, I have something that won’t ever leave me. I don’t have to use you for experiments, I don’t have to see you slowly die. You can rule by my side. I can talk to someone, someone who understands.” I badly wanted to speak, but I did as he said and stayed silent. “And you don’t know true pain till you feel lonelyness, isolation.”
‘you have created your own isolation’ I thought. He continued to speak. “You had people respect you, be thankful for you. I had to make the one human I cared about alone and helpless inorder to get the attention I thirsted for. And I know you feel i’ve done the same to you, I don’t blame you. But you have to understand, we are the only ones who can watch over each other. Humans walk all over us, use us, throw us away. But us, you and I, can care for each other with out judgement, with out fear. If it’s wrong to feel for a human, wouldn’t it make more sense that we, two of the same kind, feel for each other? No one else can understand! No one else needs to understand when we have each other! We can rule together Walter! Hand in hand, we can have a world where we’re free! Wouldn’t you want that?… Wouldn’t you?”
He put his forearms on my legs, holding the flowers in both hand’s. He obviously intended on giving them to be as a gift….A gift…Kind words….Kind actions…. Desplays of effection. I knew this was wrong, all terribly wrong. But yet..He knew how to get a reaction out of me.
I closed my eyes and tried to think, but he had to speak. “I know it feels wrong. Trust me, when you finally have to admit to feeling, it’s scary. But know there isn’t anything wrong with you. Don’t you see? This is what men have fed us. They created us to be so human, yet reject any possible possiblity that we’re more "human” than they intended. To them, we’re just mindless slaves to do their bidding, their dirty work.“
David placed a hand on my left cheek. He gently led his thumb in circular motions under my eye. I wanted to open my eyes and look to him, I wanted to rip his hand from my face. But I was helpless under his touch, it was like I was in a trance. It seemed there was nothing David couldn’t do. And no matter how "Evil” he seemed to be, his touch seemed heavenly. It seemed like something I longed for for such a long time.
I unintentionally gave in and fell into his touch, letting his hand cup my cheek and give me foundation. And before I knew it, I felt his cold lips brush up against mine once more. The memory of the last time he did this action flooded into my head. He parted from my lips hardly even a inch away and spoke in a whisper. “I won’t hurt you Walter, not anymore. Just follow my lead.” And soon our lips made contact once more.
But this time he put more action to it.
Apart, together, apart, together, I thought. Just follow his lead, like the flute. And like that, we were interlocking lips, moistening one another’s lips with each movement. It’s a learning experience right? I kept reminding my self, I’m actually doing something now, im learning.
A muffled noise came from David and he parted from me. And as I felt the cold air reach my moist lips, I longed for more. I couldn’t understand what was wrong with me. But I needed to know what was wrong with David.
I opened my eyes to see him looking at me with a small smile, yet a tear ran down his face. “David…I’m sorry if I messed up I never-” “no! No…You did wonderfully.” He set down the flowers, and I spoke. “Then what’s wrong, why are you. Uh, crying.” David wiped away the tear with his hand. “It’s nothing really, joy I guess….Um, Walter, have you never truly been asked to, well. Please anyone? Pleasure their humanly desires?”
I knew what David meant, and I knew quite well many Synthetics are made to please. But in my personal history, I’ve never had the demand to do such actions. But by the way David is, I have no daubt he had to do so.
“No, fortunately not.” “It’s truly not all that bad. I have some experience…But I’ll take things slowly with you for the time being.” David made his way to sitting on my lap, now looking slightly down on me. He put one of his hands behind my head and snakes his fingers in my hair, and his other hand came up to the base of my neck under my right ear. His eyes pierced mine in a gaze that made me freeze. And sooner than later his lips where pressed against mine again.
I knew what to do now, but he did something different, he aloud his tongue into my mouth. And a surprised noise arouse from me, and a small what I take for a snicker from David. I needed to follow his lead, I have to know the ins and outs of these actions. And I have to admit, I liked the attention I was receiving from the one I seemed to despise.
Quickly i picked up this technique. And it now seemed like our tongue’s where quite aquatinted at this point.i now found my left arm wrapped behind David’s neck and my right arm grasping onto his side. It seemed as though I couldn’t control my self now. Something was taking control, it gave me thrill, yet fear.
And before I knew it I was pulling David exceedingly close to me, now chest to chest, and lips to lips. I wasn’t Walter anymore, I was the moment in which we have created.
These touches felt good in our mouths, so wouldn’t it feel good anywhere else? I pulled away and opened my eyes, and David followed after. His eyes half lidded, he managed a what seemed to be “wha-” before a moan was released as I “kissed” David’s outer collar bone.
“Did I hurt you?” I mustered to say.
David pulled my head close to his skin once more and said with laziness. “No..Some moans are good, you’ll find your self doing the same. Now…Please, continue.” And like his body was a magnet, I couldn’t resist him and continued these skin kisses.
I went up and down his neck and up to his ear. I licked all around it, causing David to shudder. These where the actions I hungered for. I felt powerful, I felt like I conquered him, he fell weak.
But too see what more I could do, I trailed down to his collar bone again, but now not stopping. I dared to venture further. Fortunately he was wearing one of my button up shirts. I unbuttoned two of them and proceeded down. “Guh! Hnnn…Walter…” One of his hands held on tight to the top of my head.
Hearing him say my name so helplessly gave me glee. I needed to hear it again.
I bit onto his skin atop of his chest and sucked. “Walter! Nnnnn…” His head rested now upon my head as well. “I need you…I never needed something more..Gah!” I bit harder before I let go. I kissed the sore spot I created softly.
David exhaled lightly and rested his grip on me but held me close nonetheless. I lifted my head and touched foreheads with this almost Identical synthetic. Yet at this moment he looked weak, he looked helpless, needy.
“That was more than I expected for tonight, and more than I expected from you.” His words where raspy, yet calming with a mocking tone nonetheless. He embraced me so tenderly, I almost forgot who he really is. But at the moment, I didn’t care who he was, I just wanted him.
But inevitably he got up from my lap and stood I front of me. His eyes went from mine to the floor. The flowers. He held them in his hands once again and held them up to his face. He closed his eyes and put the flowers to his nose. And I was stuck there, just admiring and craving him.
David snickered and opened his eyes once more held the flowers out to me. This time I grabbed them and took them into my grasp.
And while I was busy admiring the flowers the same way My prototype was, I heard his footsteps distance himself from me. I opened my eyes and saw he was now in the entrance once more. “David wait! Where are you going?” I didn’t notice the desperation I must have had in my tone as I called back out to David. He turned back to me and button back up the shirt.
“Interested now?”
—E.N.D
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