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squiishiichaos · 5 years

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Maybe a salty vanroku? They find they both are salty about a lot of stuff and bond

(Oof. You mean just Vanroku in general? Okay! Let’s fuckin’ do this!)

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People make mistakes–at least, that’s what the masters say–but Vanitas sometimes had to wonder if people themselves weren’t just mistakes by their very nature.

Take this fuck-nugget for instance.

Ever since being given a Replica body to live in, the Blonde dual-wielder had basically become a legend among the heroes of both Dark and Light. Vanitas could still remember rolling his eyes a time or two when Xemnas would speak so highly of the Nobody who had single-handedly almost torn his entire organization asunder. As far as the Unversed was concerned, that said far more about Xemnas’s leadership than it did about the kid who cheated his way through life.

What made Roxas special enough that the Organization would save him a fucking chair? There was no guarantee he was even still alive, let alone that he would rejoin them, and even if he did, Vanitas didn’t see why they needed another half-pint to drag their team along. Wasn’t he enough?

Hah, he barked at his own mind. Even he was aware how fucked that sentiment was. He’d never be enough for Xehanort. Never. He could have single-handedly defeated every single last one of the Guardians of Light and still not have been enough.

But no. They had lost, and now, he had to pay the piper here, sitting across the way from his Other’s once empty Look-alike.

Who the fuck decided he should be the one to guard me? “What’s so great about you?”

“Excuse me?” He hadn’t meant to say that, but now that the words were out there, Vanitas found no real reason to stop them.

“You don’t look that special to me,” he continued with a glare. “So what if you can wield two keyblades? That hardly matters if you’re just two-bit trash.”

“As if you’re one to talk. You couldn’t even beat Ventus.”

Vanitas snarled. “He had help.”

“So, did you. What’s your excuse?” This insufferable little–”if you can’t put your money where your mouth is, I don’t suggest opening it.”

“Give me back my keychain and I’ll gladly put your light-loving ass in its place.”

“Afraid I can’t.”

“Why the fuck not? You afraid of what those third-rate Masters will do if they catch you fraternizing with the enemy?” Further evidence this kid wasn’t Ventus rested in the twisted smirk that tilted his lips up on the left in something like amused disgust. Almost like there was something about Vanitas that made him sick to his stomach.

Good. “I ain’t afraid of anyone–especially not you–but I’m also not stupid. I give you back that keychain, you’re just gonna run right back to your Pops for cover.”

Oh, yeah, this kid was definitely not Ventus. “Why? So he can tell me what a fucking failure I am? I’d rather beat your ass any day…”

“Assuming you even could.” Cerulean narrowed on him with a leer that was equal parts testy and amused.

“I don’t see what you think makes you so strong. You’re just another useless Nobody. A shell without a heart, wasting away day by day.”

“I used to think that, too,” Roxas told him on a tone that was fretfully flat, “but I have one now.”

“How are you so sure the others didn’t just lie to you about that?” How did they know what a heart was? Not even Ansem the Wise had been able to pinpoint what made a heart a heart. It was a mystery–just another question no one had been able to explain to him.

“I’ve felt enough hurt to know it’s there.”

“Hurt,” Vanitas snarled, “that’s your answer? A measly feeling?”

“Bet it’s more than you’ve ever felt.”

Vanitas couldn’t help his scoff. “I wouldn’t be so sure, Doppelganger.”

“You’re one to fucking talk.”

“I didn’t choose this face.”

“And neither did I! You think I wanted to be some sort of carbon copy pieced together by two lost hearts?”

“One of those hearts was supposed to be mine!”

Oh no.

He’d said too much. He could see it in the slight narrow of those blue eyes and the furrow of golden brows. The scowl that fell heavy over his taut lips. It was an expression that would’ve looked out of place on his Brighter half. One that was touched by a hint of darkness so disastrously familiar it almost forced a ball of tangible bile up his throat.

He swallowed the flood back down before it could be born anew in the space between them. Roxas swallowed back his own demons where he stood pale across the way.

Vanitas couldn’t help a low growl. “Go ahead,” he goaded, “pity me just like the rest.”

“No,” the Blonde sighed, letting his weight fall back against the wall behind him with a dull thud before sliding down to the floor.

“But I thought you had a heart.”

“I do, and it wants pity even less than you do.” Vanitas actually chuckled.

“I’m not sure that’s possible.”

“Try me.” At that challenging tone, the Shadow couldn’t help sitting up a little bit straighter and meeting that blue-eyed glare head-on.

“What? You wanna compare scars now?”

Roxas shook his head with a frown. “All that does is make the wounds deeper. I’m trying to work on this thing where I don’t pick at my stitches until I bleed.”

That was a feeling Vanitas could understand well. “It’s a difficult stride to maintain. Sometimes, the pain is more grounding than anything.”

“Reminds you you’re alive,” Roxas agreed. Looking at his hand, the Blonde turned it this way and that in the sparse light of the room. “It’s like that first breathless rush of adrenaline at the start of a fight. For that brief moment, you feel invincible–like you could do anything and not a soul could touch you.”

“But then it wears off,” Vanitas drawled, “and you realize that death is still an inevitability waiting for you somewhere down the line.”

“I used to push myself until I was too exhausted to continue,” the Blonde told him. “At least with all my muscles sore and protesting I knew I wasn’t dead.”

“For a Nobody, that’s all you can feel without a heart.”

“For an Unversed, too, I bet.”

Vanitas let out a snort that was more painful than humoring. “On the contrary, I always felt too much.”

“Ah,” there was a tone there that sounded like he might have actually understand, even if he didn’t understand anything at all, “the beauty of emotions, right? Keyblades are easy to control, but feelings? Not so much.”

“Is that how you feel now that you have your own heart? My–” he swallowed down the word that ached at his throat and instead averted his eyes away from knowing blue, “I always thought it would end when I was complete. That the pain and hurt would disappear and it would all come to a balance.”

“It doesn’t,” Roxas told him. “I thought the same thing when I merged with Sora–but it remained there, deeper than before, and there was nothing I could do to assuage it.”

“Yeah,” Vanitas sighed, “I know that now.”

“Then why were you so desperate to merge with Ventus at the Graveyard?”

“That…” He pursed his lips and looked up at Roxas. Would he understand? Would anyone? “It wasn’t me…not this me.”

“Well, I’m glad this you knows better. The last thing we need is Sora coming back from his journey and wondering why Ven and you aren’t individuals.”

Vanitas scoffed. “Like he’d even care–”

“It’s Sora,” Roxas argued with a glare, “he cares about everyone.”

“Well, he’s the only one.” The Blonde let out an aggrieved sigh and sank deeper into his seat.

“That’s a lie, you know. Ventus…cares…sometimes…”

“I think I’d rather he didn’t,” Vanitas admitted solemnly. “It’s easier when no one cares.”

“You’re not wrong…”

For a single beat of silence, neither of them said a word. In this empty chamber located deep in the halls of Radiant Garden, the discomfort of soundless torment hit him a little harder when there was actually someone willing to indulge him. At least that was better than listening to the voices in his head…

A part of him that had been alone for far too long, yearned for a connection to something.

“So,” Vanitas diverted with a sidelong glare at the Doppelganger, “why are you still here? You’ve defeated the enemy and earned your heart, your keyblades…seems pointless to remain here.”

“Where else am I gonna go?”

“Anywhere. You’re complete and whole. There must be something you’ve always wanted to do.”

“You first.” Vanitas rolled his eyes.

“I always hoped to get an actual look at Scala. My…he never allowed me aboard the Islands…”

“And I’ve always wanted to see the Ocean.” With a slight smirk, Roxas leaned forward onto his knees and met his gaze with a light that was so Sora and yet so not. “Let’s go–together!”

“Hah. As if either of us would enjoy that…”

“I would,” Roxas told him with sincere confidence. “Would definitely be better company than Riku, for sure.”

“Finally,” the Shadow grinned–all fangs and malice–”something we can agree on.”

“So, is that a go?”

“You’re serious…”

“Well, yeah,” Roxas shot back, “there’re rarely times I’m not serious.”

Thinking on it a moment, Vanitas sunk back against the wall with a deep sigh and a glare at the blonde. He doubted this would be fun, but compared to the alternative…

“I doubt your friends will let me go freely, even in your…capable hands.”

“Leave that part to me,” Roxas wore an expression only someone who had done horrible things could enjoy, “I’ll make sure we can leave hassle-free.”

“And Void Gear? As legendary as your dual-wielding is, I don’t need some half-pint protecting me from weak-ass Heartless.”

“What, you mean this?” Holding up his keychain, Roxas sneered at the look that came over Vanitas’s expression. “You’re not the only sneaky half-pint around, you know. Now, c’mon, my Stopza will wear off in a couple of minutes and we’ll need the head start without corridors to dash through.”

Alright, Vanitas could admit as he caught his offered keyblade and cautiously followed the Doppelganger, I suppose this could be fun…

It was the first time he almost felt happy. Almost.

#roxas #vanitas #vanrox #vanroku #prompt time #prompt number 3 done #like...11 more to go #gonna try to bang out a couple more today #after I nap #my writing #I hope you enjoy guys!

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