#valentines day is abt love and eating and sometimes u combine the two by eating the card <33 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

littlelovelymemes · 6 years

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‘ good night. sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite. tonight. imma fight. till we see the sunlight. tik tok. on the clock. but the party don’t stop. ’ ‘ every interaction with a man is a combination TED Talk, valedictorian speech, personal training session, and getting grounded by your dad ’ ‘ just a small dumb bitch…. living in a lonely ditch ’ ‘ if anyone wants me ill be in the dirt thinking abt love ’ ‘ why is being alive so expensive. i’m not even having a good time ’ ‘ YOU’RE A THOT: a Tender Heartwarming Open-minded Treasure ’ ‘ physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll ’ ‘ so much is going on!! it’s too much!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!! i’m tired leave me alone!! ’ ‘ imagine being a bear. no bills. you can scratch your back on a tree whenever you want. seasonal weight gain is necessary. no judgement for sleeping three months at a time. itt would be beary great. ’ ‘ shout out. just in general. im just shouting ’ ‘ what if mike was short for micycle ’ ‘ u can still be thug as hell even if you cry everyday right ’ ‘ cause of death: didn’t get attention for five minutes ’ ‘ walk into the club like wait nevermind can we go home ’ ‘ it’s all fun and gay until you get a crush on her ’ ‘ my house is haunted because i live here ’ ‘ you’re not asking for too much you’re just asking the wrong person ’ ‘ i don’t trust people who don’t like 80s pop music like what are you? straight? grow up ’ ‘ it’s ok. i mean it’s not ok, but it’s ok. ’ ‘ do u ever look back at the ppl you used to be friends with and think dear fricken god im glad u are past tense ’ ‘ i can’t believe i used to think people my age were adults ’ ‘ reverse-evolution. we just go back to being silent amoeba. free of the chains of consciousness. swimming ’ ‘ yeah.. i don’t get it. just don’t understand any of this. like i just….. don’t get it ’ ‘ stop breaking your own heart by exaggerating your place in other people's lives ’ ‘ give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you ’ ‘ @ people who think i’m attractive: thanks for having low standards ’ ‘ struggling to keep your rolled up sleeves looking nice is gay culture ’ ‘ *eats 14 packs of scooby doo fruit flavored gummy snacks* i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ’ ‘ wouldn’t it be cool to just like not feel nervous about everything all the time ’ ‘ you can’t find me in someone else ’ ‘ i forget everything and i just think that’s really sexy of me ’ ‘ mid life crisis ? no no, mid DAY crisis. happens every day ’ ‘ i look at you and see wedding bells and children’s names. i’m so fucking sorry i see a future in you and you can’t even see tomorrow in me. ’ ‘ it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed ’ ‘ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 a minute ’ ‘ i don’t know what’s going on but it’s a lot ’ ‘ sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone ’ ‘ you BET i’m listening to 80’s love songs every night until valentine’s ’ ‘ my kink is getting some fuckin sleep ’ ‘ do the fbi agents have their own fbi agents watching them… ’ ‘ sometimes i catch myself being salty and i’m like damn????? take a nap????? ’ ‘ im rly just.. rly tired u know. just so tired ’ ‘ i love people responding to their pets’ noises with ‘i know’ ’ ‘ if you can’t handle me at my worst then we have something in common because neither can i ’ ‘ i listened to green day once and now i’m gay and hate the government ’ ‘ idk why anyone would be interested in me romantically i literally watch netflix, complain, and wear the same four to five outfits with different mixes and matches all the time ’ ‘ i’m like rlly in the mood 4 uhh……. being paid lots and lots of money ’ ‘ i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say. i’m not a fan ’ ‘ say what you want about millennials but at least we don’t lick our fingers to turn a page ’ ‘ ah yes…the killing curse…fre shavaca do ’ ‘ self care is actually getting in fights with randoms in dark alleys ’ ‘ im permanently emotionally damaged but it’s chill, i’m chill ’ ‘ hearing the girl you like calling you baby in a soft voice is like having your heart fall down 7 flights of stairs and exploding ’ ‘ i don’t wanna sound soft but a bitch could use a hug ’ ‘ i need my space unless you’re the right person then don’t go anywhere ’ ‘ first recorded attack by AI on humankind was when i asked my home assistant to play some music i might like and she put on katy perry ’ ‘ momma didn’t raise a quitter but she did raise a fool and it turns out those two things are a terrible combination ’ ‘ are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for ’ ‘ your sketchers don’t even light up so i don’t really think i can trust you as a wingman tonight ’ ‘ it’s march and like, you know what? that’s fucked up. literally, it was march this time last year too, and what’s up with that? like, a year has passed since it was last march, what the fuck ? ’

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