She's eating Ur valentine's card
sometimes we get a little hungry <3 i forgive her i am reaching thru the screen to pet her 💕
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✰ — — * MORE POPULAR TEXT POST STARTERS
‘ good night. sleep tight. don’t let the bed bugs bite. tonight. imma fight. till we see the sunlight. tik tok. on the clock. but the party don’t stop. ’
‘ every interaction with a man is a combination TED Talk, valedictorian speech, personal training session, and getting grounded by your dad ’
‘ just a small dumb bitch…. living in a lonely ditch ’
‘ if anyone wants me ill be in the dirt thinking abt love ’
‘ why is being alive so expensive. i’m not even having a good time ’
‘ YOU’RE A THOT: a Tender Heartwarming Open-minded Treasure ’
‘ physically, yes, i could fight a bird. but emotionally? imagine the toll ’
‘ so much is going on!! it’s too much!! i just want to sleep in the forest for 190 years!! i’m tired leave me alone!! ’
‘ imagine being a bear. no bills. you can scratch your back on a tree whenever you want. seasonal weight gain is necessary. no judgement for sleeping three months at a time. itt would be beary great. ’
‘ shout out. just in general. im just shouting ’
‘ what if mike was short for micycle ’
‘ u can still be thug as hell even if you cry everyday right ’
‘ cause of death: didn’t get attention for five minutes ’
‘ walk into the club like wait nevermind can we go home ’
‘ it’s all fun and gay until you get a crush on her ’
‘ my house is haunted because i live here ’
‘ you’re not asking for too much you’re just asking the wrong person ’
‘ i don’t trust people who don’t like 80s pop music like what are you? straight? grow up ’
‘ it’s ok. i mean it’s not ok, but it’s ok. ’
‘ do u ever look back at the ppl you used to be friends with and think dear fricken god im glad u are past tense ’
‘ i can’t believe i used to think people my age were adults ’
‘ reverse-evolution. we just go back to being silent amoeba. free of the chains of consciousness. swimming ’
‘ yeah.. i don’t get it. just don’t understand any of this. like i just….. don’t get it ’
‘ stop breaking your own heart by exaggerating your place in other people's lives ’
‘ give a man a guitar and he’ll play for a day, teach a man guitar and today is gonna be the day that they’re gonna throw it back to you ’
‘ @ people who think i’m attractive: thanks for having low standards ’
‘ struggling to keep your rolled up sleeves looking nice is gay culture ’
‘ *eats 14 packs of scooby doo fruit flavored gummy snacks*
i’m gonna solve mysteries so fucking good ’
‘ wouldn’t it be cool to just like not feel nervous about everything all the time ’
‘ you can’t find me in someone else ’
‘ i forget everything and i just think that’s really sexy of me ’
‘ mid life crisis ? no no, mid DAY crisis. happens every day ’
‘ i look at you and see wedding bells and children’s names. i’m so fucking sorry i see a future in you and you can’t even see tomorrow in me. ’
‘ it’s safe to assume that at any given moment i want to go back to bed ’
‘ imma start charging people for hurting my feelings $3 a minute ’
‘ i don’t know what’s going on but it’s a lot ’
‘ sometimes you just need to hear how much you mean to someone ’
‘ you BET i’m listening to 80’s love songs every night until valentine’s ’
‘ my kink is getting some fuckin sleep ’
‘ do the fbi agents have their own fbi agents watching them… ’
‘ sometimes i catch myself being salty and i’m like damn????? take a nap????? ’
‘ im rly just.. rly tired u know. just so tired ’
‘ i love people responding to their pets’ noises with ‘i know’ ’
‘ if you can’t handle me at my worst then we have something in common because neither can i ’
‘ i listened to green day once and now i’m gay and hate the government ’
‘ idk why anyone would be interested in me romantically i literally watch netflix, complain, and wear the same four to five outfits with different mixes and matches all the time ’
‘ i’m like rlly in the mood 4 uhh……. being paid lots and lots of money ’
‘ i’ve tried opening my mouth and saying words before and i’ve gotta say. i’m not a fan ’
‘ say what you want about millennials but at least we don’t lick our fingers to turn a page ’
‘ ah yes…the killing curse…fre shavaca do ’
‘ self care is actually getting in fights with randoms in dark alleys ’
‘ im permanently emotionally damaged but it’s chill, i’m chill ’
‘ hearing the girl you like calling you baby in a soft voice is like having your heart fall down 7 flights of stairs and exploding ’
‘ i don’t wanna sound soft but a bitch could use a hug ’
‘ i need my space unless you’re the right person then don’t go anywhere ’
‘ first recorded attack by AI on humankind was when i asked my home assistant to play some music i might like and she put on katy perry ’
‘ momma didn’t raise a quitter but she did raise a fool and it turns out those two things are a terrible combination ’
‘ are cute dates and rough sex too much to ask for ’
‘ your sketchers don’t even light up so i don’t really think i can trust you as a wingman tonight ’
‘ it’s march and like, you know what? that’s fucked up. literally, it was march this time last year too, and what’s up with that? like, a year has passed since it was last march, what the fuck ? ’
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