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#uninflated
ofb41d7wftc · 1 year
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Tattooed trans mature strokes fat dick Casada traindo Skinny white girl rides bbc cogiendo a putita gritona de perrito que rica tanguita rosa Needy lesbians are moody for something extra sexy Hermanita peda Sexy bhabhi nude self Sex series Interacial TNASTY bj Hot german young students Snapchat compilation
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lemon-wedges · 3 months
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Do NOT let my ass around twisty balloons least they get turned into flowers!!!!
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heather-garland · 4 months
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worlds tiniest and smallest and most miniscule man
every time i see baby jamie i make a mental note to make my fanart of him LARGE
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qilinkisser · 1 month
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I’d feel bad if I didn’t do anything in return because you, as gentle and kind as you are, deserve something sweet in return so; I’m sure Josie would adore you so utterly and completely; she knows how strong you are, she knows how much you have to go through, how frequently you have to go through this anguish and pain, and it hurts her. She knows you deserve softness and although she cannot take away your pains, she can lend you a listening ear, she can give you her warmth and her affection, and she can do her best to ensure that you know how much you mean to her no matter what. And the fact that you care for her the same way? The fact that you think about her so often? I’m sure she could not think of a single better thing to have happened to her; the gift of your companionship seems to simply triumph everything else.
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MOODBOARD.
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crplpunkklavier · 4 months
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really telling about my parents characters that when they saw their 12 year old kid getting so stressed that she started expressing constant pain, they bought her a bonsai tree and handcrafted her a tabletop zen garden, instead of just asking what was going on. i remember DIYing stress balls with my mother in perfect silence. incredibly funny attempt
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stellernorth · 1 month
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they should make medical grade gloves that fit people with bent fingers pleeeeese
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abandonedniche · 9 months
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kinda sorta moved in mostly
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dominimoonbeam · 7 months
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Life Raft
A while back I went on a tangent about how I tend to ride rowboats instead of fanships... and it led to a rare pair in a life raft. <3
Asher/Damien
Life Raft
The lifeboat rocked. The storm was deafening, the rain and wind so cold that his skin burned.
Asher was on his knees at one end of the sturdy lifeboat, the waves rolling them up and down, his eyes fixed on the blinking lights of the ship half-submerged. They had been on it what felt like only minutes ago. It was a two day cruise, no big deal. In fact, it had been a cushy job to chaperone some empowered teambuilding getaway. Cushy. He could laugh if his adrenaline wasn’t still so high, his eyes scanning the decks and the water for anyone else—or for one of those other lifeboats they’d helped lower into the sea.
Milo had a hand fisted in the back of his shirt while he shouted over the storm to others. Part of the lifeboat was covered. Stealth was telling them to get inside.
A flare of light went off inside the ship. Not a light winking out but a burst, like a ball of fire. An explosion?
The waves rolled so high that for a second he lost sight of the ship. They were drifting farther away, pushed by the swells.
Another burst, this one blowing out windows just under the first deck.
Asher could have sworn he saw a silhouette in that firelight.
“Shit,” he exhaled. He turned back for a second, grabbing one of the inflatable rafts and looping the strap over his neck.
He caught sight of Milo’s face, of that panic and disbelief, his friend already reaching for him again, grabbing hold of his arm as if he could physically hold him back. He might try, Asher realized. He smiled back at him because he loved him for that, and then quickly dove off the lifeboat and back into the sea. He shifted, not because his wolf could swim that much faster, but because it didn’t feel the cold as sharply. There was another flare of light out there in the water between himself and the sinking ship.
Milo shouted for him to come back and Asher knew if he looked, he’d probably see his friend torn between following him and the instinct to stay with his mate. He would definitely apologize if he survived.
The water rolled him under and for long seconds he wasn’t sure he’d be able to find the surface again, wasn’t sure he was even kicking in the right direction, but he made it.
Another burst of light, smaller but closer.
Asher swam hard, the next flare almost right in his face. It wasn’t really a flare, it was a fire elemental igniting sparks in a desperate call for help. He jerked in surprise at the wolf swimming up to him and then relief almost made him pass out, his head going under.
Asher shifted back to human, the raft still bobbing against his back. He grabbed the guy and pulled him up to the surface again. He spat water and grabbed hold of Asher’s shoulders. He was clearly exhausted. Which made sense, since not only had he gotten out of the ship, but he’d been burning up magic trying to get help…literally.
They clung to each other when the sea rolled them under, the life raft tugging them back toward the surface even while it was still uninflated. Coughing for air, Asher pulled the thick yellow plastic off his back, hanging onto the strap with one hand and the fire elemental with the other.
The ship had gone completely dark, taking with it all the light from the ocean around them. Darkness swelled, pushing and dragging them, like it was trying to pull them apart.
The fire, for his part, had his arms around Asher, clearly not planning to get lost again. They both groped at the raft, until one of them managed to find the right chord and pull. It burst, so big and so fast that it pushed them under. For a sick second, Asher was afraid he’d let go of one of them—either the man or the raft. But he didn’t, and soon he was pushing the elemental over the thick plastic side and out of the ocean.
He was so tired that for a few seconds he just hung onto the side, mustering the energy to lift himself up and over too. He was shaking from the cold, his muscles seeming to squeeze his bones. And then arms were reaching down, grabbing hold of him and hauling him up. He exhaled hard when he hit the firm bottom of the raft. It spun and bounced in the storm and there wasn’t anything left to do but curl up and hope it didn’t flip.
Asher didn’t realize he had a hand fisted in the stranger’s shirt until the guy squeezed his wrist once, not pulling it away but just some sort of acknowledgement. It was too dark to see each other and too loud to hear. That hand didn’t let go of his wrist, hanging onto him too.
-
Asher couldn’t remember having fallen asleep. He couldn’t imagine how he could have fallen asleep, but suddenly the storm was quiet, the sky still thickly clouded but the gray blue light of day pressing through. His fingers ached when he unfisted them from the other guy’s shirt. He was cold. Colder than he could remember being in a long time. Maybe ever.
The stranger was asleep beside him, curled up with his face in one arm and his hand around Asher’s wrist. That was the only part of him that didn’t feel cold. He was familiar. Asher had seen him on the ship, one of the group they’d been keeping an eye on. In fact, he remembered him rolling his eyes during the conference meet and greet, muttering about how this whole thing was a waste of time and funds.
Asher sat up to get a look around.
The other guy jolted awake when he almost lost his grip on Asher’s wrist, eyes flinging open and hand grabbing at his arm anew. They stared at each other and Asher waited for him to remember everything. The fire swallowed and nodded, letting go.
They both sat up and took survey of the ocean in all directions, dark clouds and not-quite still waters. The wind made the wet cold worse. No signs of the ship, or the lifeboats.
“D-Do you know if… Did they get off the ship okay?” the stranger asked, voice cracking not from cold but from the threat of emotion.
Asher turned and sat down, back to one of those thick inflated edges. “Yeah. We got four lifeboats in the water on our side and I know a few went in on the other. I think we got most everyone…” Although clearly he couldn’t be sure. They hadn’t gotten this guy. He hadn’t been on deck. “Why weren’t you on deck?”
The stranger sighed, scrubbing a hand over his face and sitting across from him. “I was getting on a lifeboat when someone… They didn’t want me to get on.”
Asher stared at him. “What?” What he was saying didn’t make sense. It didn’t matter if someone else didn’t want to share a lifeboat with this guy. It was a fucking lifeboat.
The fire looked away, out at the sea, his hands curling into fists and giving away his efforts to look like he didn’t care. “They were worried I’d get freaked out and… I don’t know… set the boat on fire or something… I went to find another and the boat tipped and I fell down some stairs. When I came to most of the lights were out and I couldn’t find anyone else.”
Asher exhaled hard. “Shit… So you could have died because some asshole was being a bigot?”
The fire huffed a thin laugh and nodded.
“Did you break anything when you fell?” Asher leaned forward, dragging his eyes over the other guy. He looked okay. No limbs twisted the wrong way. “Can you breathe okay?” He wasn’t wheezing so that was good.
The guy stared at him like he didn’t understand at first and then huffed again. “Yeah. No, I’m okay. And you? If you helped get those boats out, what were you doing in the water?”
Asher blinked at him.
The stranger blinked back and then his eyes widened. “You jumped in when you saw my lights…” It wasn’t really a question, so Asher didn’t answer.
He held his hand out. “I’m Asher.”
The guy still looked dazed by surprise but reached out automatically to shake his hand. Asher tried not to sigh at that press of heat into his palm. “Damien… I… You could have drowned.”
Asher shrugged. “You would have done the same.”
Damien sighed. “Thank you. I would have drowned…”
Asher shook his head, not wanting the guy to freak out. “You’re a good swimmer. You might have made it to another lifeboat… at least then you’d have more company and shelter…”
Damien looked right back at him, no joke or doubt in his eyes. “You saved me. Don’t downplay it.”
Asher would have blushed if he wasn’t chilled through. He smiled nervously and shrugged, looking around at the sea again and sighing. “Now we just need someone to save the both of us…”
Damien snorted and started investigating their little raft, finding a pocket with minimal supplies, including a half canopy for the raft. They set it up, creating rain cover even though it had stopped raining and shade even though they had yet to see the sun. At least it was something to do.
The raft bounced and bobbed. They oscillated between conversation and dazed rest for hours.
Asher shivered, curling up on the bottom and closing his eyes.
“Are you getting seasick?” Damian asked.
“No,” Asher promised. He wasn’t seasick. He was just cold. So cold. Cold in his bones and it felt like the day was getting colder with every hour that passed. He couldn’t imagine another night.
He wanted to shift. His core ached for it, his wolf rumbling in his chest to be let out. The wolf was always warmer. He needed that. But if he wasn’t sure the raft could handle it. He’d be too big. He might tip it or damage it.
He didn’t realize he’d fallen asleep again until his own shaking woke him with a start when he’d been a split second from shifting. Shit. No. Nonono. He forced himself to sit up and open his eyes. That wasn’t okay. If he shifted in his sleep and destroyed the raft… He clenched his teeth and eyed the side, seriously considering jumping out. He could shift then. He could bit onto one of those straps and try to stay with the raft.
“What is it?” Damien asked, worry in his voice. He sounded exhausted too. He scooted closer. “Are you… fuck are you cold?” Damien’s voice rose with shock, and was that anger? Why was he angry?
Asher clawed some of his hair back from his face, still looking at the water off the edge of the raft. He could tread. He could stay with the raft. He was so tired but he wouldn’t be able to fall asleep in the water right? That would keep him awake until someone found them or the fucking sun came back…
Damien’s hand touched his arm and they both sucked in a sharp breath, the fire jerking his touch back and looking at his palm like he’d been burned. Asher’s whole body ached to push into that touch, making his eyes roll shut and a low, pained groan rattle his chest.
“You should have said something!” Damien snapped, scooting even closer, one thigh brushing Asher’s. Even through his clothes he was warm. He softened a little, worry in his tired eyes. “I should have asked…” He shook his head, holding his arms out. “I can warm you up. If…If you don’t mind contact. I can’t project far without risking damaging the raft…”
Asher whined at the sight of those open arms, wanting the contact and the promise of warmth. “Will…Will I cool you down?” He shook his head, arms still wrapped around himself and squeezing. “It’s better if one of us stays warm, dude. I’m thinking if I get back in the water I can shift and that—”
“Back in the water?” the fire shouted.
Asher groaned at the slight pulse of heat through his thigh.
“That’s insane. And you’re not going to cool me down. Trust me. Nothing cools me down.”
Asher smirked at those smug words. He liked this guy. He shivered. If he was sure… If it wouldn’t hurt him… He nodded, leaning toward those arms.
Damien hugged him to him, gently at first, like neither of them had ever hugged anyone before. Asher sighed hard, pushing into his chest at the heat there. It was amazing. It was like being wrapped in a snuggly furnace. He pushed his face into Damien’s neck. The fire sucked in a sharp breath and Asher jerked back, muttering a near delirious apology for whatever he’d done.
“It’s okay,” Damien ground out, pulling him back in and this time repositioning him, practically lifting Asher into his lap. “You’re just cold and it’s sort of a shock…”
-
Damien’s skin ached at first contact with the icy chill of Asher’s.
He should have realized the other guy would get cold out here. He just hadn’t registered the cold himself. He hadn’t thought about it and he hadn’t wanted to press Asher when he seemed to be feeling sick. Seasick was normal, right? But he hadn’t heaved or anything. But it wasn’t like either of them were feeling well. It had been almost a full day, they were losing daylight and there had been no signs of any rescue or the other boats. They’d had no food or water.
Damien pulled Asher into his lap, hugging him as tightly as he dared and trying to gently pour heat into him without it being too much.
Asher stopped shaking soon, his face still ducked into Damien’s neck.
Damien rubbed his back until he fell asleep and then continued.
He couldn’t believe this guy had been thinking about jumping out of the raft. But then he remembered the way Asher had jerked away minutes ago, his core shuddering. For a split-second Damien had thought the man was about to shift, but then he hadn’t. Now he suspected he almost had and it had been enough to scare him into thinking he needed to get out of the boat. Jesus. He’d been so cold he’d been ready to go to that extreme just to keep from…what? Risking the raft? That fear hit home. Hadn’t Damien been constantly moving on the raft just to make sure he wasn’t melting anything?
Asher sighed against his collar. He had finally unraveled his arms from his own chest, gently curling them around Damien’s sides. “Thank you.”
Damien almost laughed at hearing this guy thank him. He had literally jumped into the stormy ocean to try to save him. And he had. Damien had woken up alone in a sinking ship, practically blowing his way out in burst of fire only to end up along in the black waters. He’d been so alone, sending up bursts of light like his own frantic flares, wondering if anyone would see them, if anyone would come, each ball of fire making his core quieter and quieter.
When he’d sent up that last one, he’d thought he was lost. He was going to pass out and sink below the surface. No one would find him. And then the shifter had shown up and literally dragged him back up. Asher had been determined to get him into that raft and he’d done it.
Damien had closed his eyes, hugging the other man in the little shelter of their raft.
When he woke, it was night, but it wasn’t as dark as it had been the night before. The clouds had cleared and the wind had stopped, the stars bright and shining down on them. They were almost laying down, propped against one edge of the boat. Asher was still in his arms, their legs tangled together. Damien could tell the other man was awake too. “Too warm?”
Asher huffed a laugh against his collar. “No. But if you want some space…”
“No,” Damien said just as certainly.
They stayed like that for a while, watching the stars.
“So… At the risk of making this awkward as hell,” Asher started.
Damien raised an eyebrow even though the other guy couldn’t see it. Oh god. Was he going to tell him he was married or something? That their snuggle session for survival was towing a line?
Asher was still smiling when he said, “Any chance you’ll let me take you out when we get back to land?”
Damien’s mind rebooted.
“I mean you saved my life. We should definitely share a meal.”
Damien groaned at even the vague thought of food.
Asher nodded like he realized it too. “I’m so hungry.”
“It’s only been a day,” Damien reminded them both.
“You have no idea how much a shifter eats…” Asher countered.
From a biological standpoint, Damien could not argue that. He had no idea if Asher was joking or if shifters metabolism demanded more. It could. Before he could think of what to say, Asher was sitting up out of his arms.
Damien was disappointed to lose the comforting pressure of him against his chest, but he didn’t try to stop him. He did keep an eye on him though, afraid he might tip out of the raft when he crawled to one edge to look out at the dark. “What?”
Asher was grinning when he said, “You see it right?”
“See what? You’re not hallucinating already, are you?”
Asher laughed but pointed. “No. Right there.”
Damien hurried over to his side and squinted. Nothing. “No. There’s no—”
“Can you do that thing again? The flare thing?”
Damien glanced between the shifter beside him and the darkness out there. Could Asher really see something that Damien couldn’t? He shrugged. Sure. He could do another flare. “How big do you want it?”
Asher grinned.
Damien sputtered.
Asher looked out again, like he really could see something. “A few bursts if you can? To get their attention?”
Damien focused his energy and ignited the bursts high above them. The air cracked and heat rippled out. He did it a few times and they both waited. Just when Damien was about to gently suggest Asher was mistaken, they both heard the foghorn in the distance.
Asher beamed and sat back, looking up at Damien. “So, what do we want to eat? I’m thinking delivery because I don’t know about you, but I want a hotel room with a bathtub.”
Damien bit his lip to try to keep himself from mirroring that big smile. His stomach growled. “Water first.”
Asher groaned and threw his head back. “Seriously?”
Damien could see the faint lights of the ship heading toward them now. He threw up another flare.
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heckyeahponyscans · 1 year
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While I'm on the topic of the 2023 retro Collector ponies, I just checked Amazon and found Minty and Butterscotch for $10 USD each. Yes, finally an uninflated price!!! Still waiting on the others to drop.
I wonder if this means Basic Fun has finally started stocking them? The higher prices are markups from third party sellers.
>> link to Butterscotch <<
>> link to Minty <<
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Apparently me and my friend have started reincarnating rock musicians into random objects (so far only balloons and a record player)(although perhaps reincarnating isn't the right word as the rockstars we used so far are still alive – maybe doubling? transforming? I don't know, it's a very strange process). Let me explain. It all started with this huge, white balloon my friend had in their pocket. They started inflating it and we named him Nick Mason Junior. He was becoming quite big and even developed some musical talent. This is him:
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While we were walking down the street with little Nick, we found a used record player that someone left for others to take (that's something you see frequently where I live, in case you're wondering). So my friend bent down to take it, but suddenly Nicky bumped against something and exploded. It was very tragic, but we decided that the record player would be Nick's new vessel. And for some reason we decided to rename him into Nick Jagger – a combination of Nick Mason and Mick Jagger – why, I still don't understand. But this is Nick in his new form:
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It doesn't end here – we found a turquoise balloon and started inflating it. His name was Mick Jagger, he even had the same colour as OG Jagger's shirt in Dancing In The Street! Just look at him:
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BUT THEN he exploded too. But we'll find a new vessel for him eventually and we'll name him Mick Bowie or David Jagger, to continue the chain. And this morning, we found this small balloon. We named him Roger Waters Junior.
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My friend also had an uninflated orange balloon which we're going to name Syd Barrett Junior, but he isn't alive yet, so to say. I'm gonna update when the story continues.
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rochenn · 8 months
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sometimes a monday night is just a man vs their 1kg tiramisu box from netto markendiscounter (uninflated price)
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jaxflipped · 1 month
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get jax'd!!!!
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A JAX A JAX A JAX RAHASHFHRRJEKMDMFNGHRHJJRJRJR THEY'RE SO PRETTY I'M SHOVING UNINFLATED WATER BALLOONS INTO MY MOUTH RIGHT NOW
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saanphoenix · 6 months
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About two weeks ago, I threw my ass out by climbing a step ladder to pull down a very lightweight box of uninflated mylar balloons.
Now, this happened because, for the previous three weeks, I was doing hard physical labor that my body was not prepared for and quickly got run down about. So that, by the time of the morning of my step ladder incident, my hips just said, "Nah. I'm done."
So what I had to do to stretch out the taunt muscles and help relieve pain was...yoga. Basically.
And one pose was a back bend thing where you lay on your stomach and grab your ankles and make a nice circle with your body. That you hold for a few seconds. And repeat like three times.
I discovered that day that I could not easily grab a second ankle. Grabbed the first one no problem but the second took a minute of cackling and wiggling to get.
It got easier the more I did it but like...
I'm 33. The elasticity you have in your 20s starts to go away faster than you think it will.
Stretch.
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You know what would be really funny? If they just took Puppy with them. Like,
TF Moon: Why do you have Eclipse with you?
Lord Monty: Emotional support.
Puppy Eclipse: Hi!!! I’m the emotional support clown! *turns to Lord Monty* Did I say that right?
Lord Monty, snickering and patting Puppy’s head: Yeah, good job buddy.
Puppy Eclipse: Yay!
TF Moon: You brought an emotional support clown. Who is also an Eclipse. To a hostage negotiation.
Lord Monty: Yeah, I don’t know why you’re surprised by this. It’s a tense situation, I don’t particularly like being tense, so, I brought the clown.
Puppy Eclipse, holding up uninflated balloons: I can do the balloon animals!
Lord Monty: You’re doing great, buddy!
Puppy Eclipse: *maniacal giggling while blowing up balloons* (not from maniacal thoughts, that’s just how he laughs)
TF Moon: This is the dumbest-
TF Monty: No, no, he has a point. Once we get the Star back, I might get one of those. Not an Eclipse, a clown. A dumb one, so I don’t have to pay them.
TF Moon: Can we please get back on track?!
TF Monty wants a clown that won’t get depression and have a violent breakdown where he ends the world like lord night did. Just be funny and sit in the corner :)
This does seem like something lord Monty would do tbh
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My bf giggled at my boobs today. I asked him why he's laughing and he insisted its because he's not used to seeing me this small and it's different, that he's never seen me this skinny
Like hon I know that my tits are like two uninflated balloons don't lie to me. please just don't laugh.
Now I'm just insecure at the fact that I can't have a flat stomach and normal boobs at the same time
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pisspope · 1 year
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Reiner's titan form always reminded me of a turtle. I think it's the mouth and all the plates. And y'know, he's packing that big turtleneck in his shell. 😏🐢
According to renowned tetrapod zoologist Darren Naish:
"The turtle penis is, like that of a mammal, a hydraulic cylinder that becomes engorged by fluid and is relatively resistant to bending when erect. Its single erectile body is divided into a collagenous corpus fibrosum and a highly vascularized, expandable corpus spongiosum. As a turtle's penis inflates, its length may increase by nearly 50%, its width by 75%, and its depth by 10%. Even an uninflated penis – tucked away inside the cloaca – is large."
I'll uh... let that speak for itself
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