#tw: mentions of epileptic fit

[silvermillenniumqueenneptune]

Writers vent re: assumptions (Please COMMENT if you like, but do not reblog)

Note: Names are changed to protect the people involved. * indicates a changed name. Post is long and will be below the cut. TW for mentions of violence, SA and other issues.

I have a dear friend, Mandy*, who is an aspiring author. I've posted about her before, giving her varying ages because I was never sure until recently how old she actually was.

Mandy will be turning 30 this year. She is a mixed (half white, half-Afro Latin@), supposedly Orthodox Jewish woman living in California with her mom, brother and grandmother. When she was around twelve years old, Mandy began writing a fanfiction with a friend centered around her obsession with the musical Phantom of the Opera.

By the time I met her in 2019, she claimed had been working on turning the fanfiction into an original novel for close to 10 years. The problem is that Mandy believes that she can get by without researching things for her novel because she has friends she can ask.

Initially, Mandy's main character was a mirror of herself, a young Jewish woman who was sexually assaulted as a teen by a peer in the LDS community who she believed she was in love with at the time. Her character's father, according to her, is an Iranian pagan "gypsy" who changes after falling in love with a Russian prostitute. She was so connected to the POTO idea that the MC's parents were originally named Erik and Kiersten MacNamara. She's included characters for all of her close friends, including me (without my initial consent), her gay best friend Nick*, our other friend Nicole* and her Muslim friend Maha*. The story also includes violent mob activities, rape and sexual assault, murder, etc, Unfortunately, Mandy believes that just talking to people who fit her characters' backgrounds is enough "research" to properly write the characters. For example, Erik raises his sons to believe that their wives should (in Erik's words) "work only to amuse themselves", because Mandy has heard from "several Muslim male friends" that this is a common school of thought for all men of Iranian descent. [Ironically, Erik shows no indication of being Muslim--he's closer to straight up pagan in the beginning of his book-- and later converts to Roman Catholicism, changing his last name to blend in and become only slightly more Americanized.]

The book is a dark romance, although it does heavily focus on the family dynamics and legacy, as she plans to make it a series where each of the children gets their own book about their journey with their lover. Mandy has asked my opinion several times throughout, and I've told her consistently that she needs to do more research, or she will be ridiculed. Nick, Nicole and Maha all love what she's doing, and I seem to be the only one who realizes Mandy is treading on thin ice with the concept as it is. She's admitted to me in the past that parts of the work are "autobiographical" and has fluctuated wildly from "people are going to want to kill me for the content" to "no one will care." Mandy is also epileptic and has mental health issues including depression and Reactive Attachment Disorder, for which she is in therapy]. I've seen the amount of work she puts into these books affect her health to the point of sending her into depressive spirals if she stops working, because she trauma dumps onto her characters rather than feel her emotions herself. It's gotten to the point that she wants me to roleplay as the characters with her, and she has developed unique voices for all of them--literally. It feels like I am talking to a person with either multiple personalities or dissociative identity disorder, and she can and does switch into character at random. Unfortunately, I've also been told by Nicole, who is a nursing assistant and phlebotomist, that I'm "making things worse" when I tell Mandy she needs to drop the work, even though she will admit I may be right. What Nicole doesn't know is, Mandy spends 2-4 hours at a time Skyping with me role-playing her characters--and won't listen if I try to refuse. It's gotten so bad that some days I have to appear offline just to have room to breathe.

Nicole and I both are also at a disadvantage because we only know Mandy online-- she grew up with Nick and Maha, neither of whom see what we see.

I've tried distancing myself but it's not working. Any thoughts or advice are appreciated.

#please do not repost #writing vent #personal vent #writing issues #friend issues

[nanasparadise]

Yandere + Darling playlist

Hiya everyone! I’ve seen some people here on Tumblr do playlists for certain characters and I thought to myself ‘wow, what a fun idea’! So I decided to do something similar. I looked for songs I like and checked, if their songs could potentially be seen through a Yandere or Darling lense (or both). I hope you enjoy this! 

Disclaimer: Some of the songs have no specific interpretation and some do. For those who have one, I’m not trying to undermine the original intention/meaning, I merely wanna show you a different perspective. 

TW: mentions of murder, mentions of cheating, mentions of abuse, mentions of Stockholm Syndrome, mentions of the police, mentions of an epileptic fit, mentions of emotional manipulation, toxic relationship, MINORS DNI

Yandere:

“Breezeblocks” by Alt-J

The lyrics and the music video are pretty self-explanatory.

“Figure It Out” by Royal Blood

The music video implies yandere-ness, the lyrics less so (but honestly, the guitar riff alone is worth listening to the song).

“Midnight Show” by The Killers 

This one is one of my faves because I’ve never really payed attention to the lyrics until this year and then it hit me like a truck. It’s about the narrator (do you say that as well for songs?) killing a woman, probably their girlfriend or the woman they pined for, out of jealousy (cheating is implied) 

“Jenny Was A Friend Of Mine” by The Killers 

This song is actually a continuation of “Midnight Show”. Here, the narrator has been caught by the police as they try to make them confess for their crime. 

“Always Forever” by Cults

You could just see this song as a sweet romance between two lovers or you could take the yandere route.

“Kiri” by Monoral 

First of all, ever since I saw Ergo Proxy, I fell in love with this song! Secondly, I can’t say what makes this tune yandere to me, it’s just vibes honestly, so check it out and see it for yourself!

“Sparta” by Monoral

Again, I love this song and again, it’s just vibes.

“Blind” by Placebo

Ah, Placebo, my beloved <3 The lyrics of this one are quite sad and they remind me of a desperate and clingy kinda yandere.

“Stockholm Syndrome” by Muse

I mean, the title already says it xD. But funny enough, the lyrics never indicate that ‘Darling’ succombs to Stockholm Syndrome. 

“I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE” by Måneskin

Just like many other bisexual Europeans, I’ve fallen for the Måneskin craze lmao. But for real now, the lyrics aren’t particularly yandere, but you could see them as a yandere being desperate to both please and dominate their darling. 

“Creep” by Radiohead

This song is the ultimate yandere tune. You can’t change my mind. 

Darling:

“Me And My Husband” by Mitski

This song just breaks my heart, honestly. It’s about an unhappy marriage (maybe even potentially abusive) and ‘Darling’ in this case has to pretend that everything is fine, even though they feel hollow and broken inside.

“Fahrradsattel” by Pisse (you can find it on Soundcloud)

Okay, this one is a wild take. I personally think this song is a metaphor for marriage. Marriage is portrayed as restraining and negative though and ‘Darling’ would prefer to be in a more open relationship. But again, this is my interpretation, because virtually, the lyrics don’t make much sense. My fellow German-speaking peeps or anyone who wants to philosophise with me (there are English translations of the song), be free to tell me your opinion!

“E.V.O.L” by Marina and the Diamonds (you can find it on Soundcloud under her former artist name, that’s why I used it here)

This is about a toxic relationship, pretty self-explanatory.

“Kiss With A Fist” by Florence + The Machine

This song is perfect for a darling, who doesn’t accept the yandere’s abuse and fights them back. 

“Can’t Pin Me Down” by Marina

Again, also matching for a darling who doesn’t take the yandere’s bullshit.

“She’s Lost Control” by Joy Division

My favourite Joy Division song <3 it’s actually about a woman having an epileptic fit, but I think you could also interpret the lyrics to represent a state of mind rather than a physical state. In that case, it would definitely match with a desperate Darling’s well-being (or rather lack of it). 

“Blue Monday” by New Order

The lyrics are pretty open, so I thought they could also apply to a darling, who’s getting emotionally manipulated by the yandere and they wish to be gone from them. 

Both: 

“The Bitter End” by Placebo

I reckoned the lyrics could both apply to a darling, who gave up fighting, or a yandere, who’s very desperate to keep darling by their side, even though they see their darling slipping away from them. 

“I’m Not Calling You A Liar” by Florence + The Machine 

Again, this song could be interpreted through the lense of the darling and the yandere: ‘Darling’ is broken by the yandere’s abuse and lets them do whatever they want as long as they get their affection or the yandere is so desperate for their darling, they’d try anything and let them do anything to them. 

#yandere #yandere playlist #tw: yandere #tw: mentions of murder #tw: mentions of abuse #tw: mentions of police #tw: mentions of epileptic fit #tw: toxic relationship #tw: mentions of cheating #tw: mentions of stockholm syndrome #tw: mentions of emotional manipulation #minors dni

[ashtonisrottting]

[⚠️tw: physical abuse mentioned; csa implied⚠️]

•the text i wish I could send to my mother•

sometimes i wonder when exactly you decided i wasn't worth it, mother. was it when you made the first ultrasound? was it when they first gave me to you? was it when you brought me home –and you just felt i didn't fit your house? was it when I looked at you and hold the gaze for the first time –was it the first time you got nauseated by the fact my eyes screamed "love me, love me, please, love me" ? was it when I learned to talk –was it then when you planned to make me a puppet? was it when I first broke something of yours? or was it when I dared to cry while you beat the shit outta me with the belt? was it when you noticed i was stubborn and couldn't simply learn things like keep my mouth shut because good girls shouldn't talk that much? was it when I first lashed out at you? or was it when you realized my constant need for... anything was always directed at you? was it when I said i hated you for the first time? was it when you i told you about my sexuality? was it when I learned to close and barricade my door so you wouldn't come in? was it when I started self harming –and consequently staining our family image? was it when I first had an epileptic episode –when you realized I wasn't the perfect doll you wanted to display? was it when you got my first depression diagnosis at 4? or was it when I said something was wrong at 9? was it when I tried to kill myself the first time? or was it when you had to actually make an effort to display such distress that people would fall for your act and focused on your pain when i actually wasn't ok? was it in the moment you realized I didn't only look like my father but i also acted like him? or was it in that fateful day when it finally sink in: exactly like you and my brother, i wasn't enough to make him 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝘆?

i could really go on and on the whole night pinpointing these gleeful moments, mother, but i don't even think you got here. as always nothing i say is of your interest and in the moment you saw my name on this, you have up on reading it. (i am right this time, ain't i?)

whatever, i don't actually care if you read everything or if you didn't –if you deleted it or if you kept it to show others how dramatic and ungrateful your greatest disappointment turn out to be. i think I just needed to put it out somehow. I've been living with you for the past 18 (almost 19) years and i only recently realized you always looked at me with empty eyes –also, i only recently realized that no, it isn't normal for your mother to look at you like you're just a particle of dust in the air. mom's are supposed to have warmth in their eyes and unconditional love in their hearts. mom's are supposed to coddle their children –instead of leaving scratches in their arms when they ask you for hot chocolate at 11pm because they can't sleep (funfact: they can't sleep because you filled their bed with ironed clothes and they barely have space to lay down without finding a new reason to be screamed and beaten up). mom's are supposed to at least try to be there for their children instead of fighting for the kid's "spotlight". mom's are supposed to react when you say you've been abused. mom's ared supposed to abuse you. mom's aren't supposed to make fun of your hair and favorite clothes. mom's are supposed to... mom's are supposed to lay in bed with you when you say you had a nightmare and they are supposed to comb your hair until you calm down because your well being is simply everything to them

but what you did to me? that sour thing you called "selfless love"? no. no, that wasn't love. i can see it now. that was you being intentionally mean and cruel. that was you punishing me for being both your failed plan to keep him here and the reminder that he isn't here –probably one of the reasons he won't ever even want to be here.

#vent #big ass vent #mother issues #toxic mom #toxic mother #mommy issues #toxic childhood #abusive mother #abusive mom #trauma #traumatized #ok to reblog #emotional abuse #physical abuse #bad parenting #sa implied #trigger warning ⚠️ #tw triggers #abuse tw #tw trauma #trauma tw

[daisyrecsthings]

Stan twins fanfic reclist

Faves are italicized!

like they were a perfect fit (oneshot - 4224 words) by hapful - Regarding a certain photograph Stanford carried with him for roughly 30 years.

Untitled (oneshot - 2485 words) by @logicalbookthief - Stan pretends that he hasn’t gotten back his memories of Ford.  

Aftermath (oneshot - 2997 words): Deals with both Stan/memory loss and Ford/seizure (tw: seizure)

A Tale Of Three Stans (oneshot - 12413 words) by Beleriandings - Out adventuring on the Stan ‘O War II, Stan runs into another version of Ford.

Epileptic Ford AU (oneshot - 2352 words) - runs on the idea that Ford might have seizures in the future thanks to being electrocuted. (tw: vomit, injury, blood, seizures) 

Pulse (oneshot - 2474 words) by @miistrals - Bill fatally injures Stan. (tw: descriptions of blood, violence)

Haunt (oneshot - 7211 words) by Witete - Scars, new and old, torture the eldest Pines twins. (tw: siezures, panic attacks, PTSD)

it can’t rain forever (we’re on to better weather) (oneshot - 2098 words) by A_Beautiful_Beast - Stan and Ford hug it out.

Real Men (Don’t) Cry (oneshot - 2051 words) by Nicnac - Stan cries when Ford tells him to take the journal.

Harsh Reminder (oneshot - 3715 words) by @orangeoctopi7 - Post-finale, dealing with the return of Stan’s memories and Ford needing to go to a hospital.

Emergency Contact (oneshot - 3196 words) by madwriter223 - Ford receives news that Stan is in the hospital.

Forgotten Memories (oneshot - 1893 words) by nuttersincorporated - Stan and Ford dealing with Stan’s memory loss.

The Sum of Our Memories (oneshot - 3700 words) by Linelen (Linelenagain) - Stan regaining his memories.

our past ghosts always haunting (oneshot - 1347 words) by anonymousAlchemist - In which Stan never regains his memories.

When Did We Become Old Men? (oneshot - 6648 words) by Inkblot9 - Stan and Ford celebrate their first birthday together in over 40 years.

It’s All the Same (at the end of the day) (oneshot - 4360 words) by raritysdiamonds - Stan and Ford pay a visit to their mother.

Fear of the Dark (twoshot;complete - 7463 words) by @thesnadger - Written before the finale, on the premise that Ford actually would kick Stan out at the end of the summer. (tw: suicide attempt)

Fisherman's Knot (multichapter;incomplete) by @scribefindegil - Stan and Ford, post-series.

Raising Stakes (multichapter;incomplete) by MaryPSue - AU with Stan as a vampire at the time Ford and he reunite.

The Time Wish (mutichapter;complete - 59420 words) by Sarah1281 - a Peggy Sue fic for Stan, in which he goes back to right before he reunites with Ford in 1982.

Cellular Memory (multichapter;complete - 31671 words) by Bgtea - Stan’s memories take a lot longer to return than they did in canon.

A Pound of Flesh (multichapter;complete - 10918 words) by LogicalBookThief - Stan and Ford discover the dark secret of a coastal village, as well as a more personal danger.

Perseverance (multichapter;incomplete) by Foil Candle - Regarding the time Stan spent stuck in the trunk of a car, as well as Stan’s and Ford’s relationship at that time.

Avarice (multichapter;incomplete) by Haberdasher - Transcendence AU AU in which Stan becomes a demon instead of Dipper.

In Search of Antidotes (multichapter;complete - 30200 words) by azhdarchidaen -  Historical AU set in the late 19thcentury.  (tw: violence, injury, blood, anxiety, suicide mention) 

Towards the Sun (multichapter;complete - 88258 words) by @pinesinthewoods and @notthistimespock  - [A now AU take on Bill’s defeat] In which Stan is trapped in the nightmare realm after sacrificing himself to defeat Bill, and Ford follows him.

Blind Faith (multichapter;complete - 21027 words) by pinesinthewoods - In which both Stan and Ford fall through the portal.  (tw: eye trauma)

Two Old Men and the Sea (multichapter;complete - 69409 words) by embulalia - Stan and Ford post-series. 

A Thousand Natural Shocks (multichapter;complete - 53750 words) by WDW - Stanley Pines made a deal; after Bill’s defeat, Ford uncovers the details of his brother’s disappearance.

Mystery Nerds AU (multichapter series;incomplete - 97460+ words) by babyblueavenger - In which Stan is sick when he reunites with Ford in 1982, and Ford reevaluates his treatment of his brother. (tw: mentions of prostitution, suicidal thoughts)

Brand of a Dreamer (multichapter series;incomplete - 54208+ words) by impish_nature - AU of the Weirdmageddon episodes in which Bill traps Stan in the Mindscape, and Ford has to rescue him.

a better place, a better time (multichapter series;incomplete - 49,002+ words) by @tallykale - A Mystery Trio fic in which Stan and Ford reunite while Ford’s at college.  Also includes Fiddauthor (+aromantic Stan!), but has good moments with Stan & Ford. (tw: mental illness, mentions of abuse)

A Little Bit Lost (series of oneshots;incomplete - 48539+ words) by @impishnature - Ford comes back from the portal more jumpy and paranoid than in canon, and has to readjust to his home dimension.

Wrong & Right (series of oneshots;incomplete - 8633 words) by  KarmaKelpie - Ford + self-denial.

Missing Parts - A Reverse Portal AU (series of oneshots;incomplete - 13072+ words) by @that-is-my-jam - An AU in which Stan falls through the portal instead of Ford.  Deals with the events following Stan’s return.

pieces (series of oneshots;incomplete - 22344+ words) by hapful - Stan and Ford reunite not long after Stan is kicked out, but they still have major communication issues. (tw: violence)

Khdo Doo Zrxqgv dqg Qhyhu Edfn Grzq (series of oneshots;complete - 19886  words) by Krasimer - Some missing moments for Stan and Ford, some dealing with Stan being kicked out.  

Other Gravity Falls reclists:  Pines twins Other Pines relationships  Other Gen Pacifica-centric Fiddauthor

#gravity falls #stan twins #stanley pines #stanford pines #pines twins #fic rec #reclist #gen #my recs #siblings #i'm revamping my old fic reclists because i want to avoid reality #and procrastinate a voltron fic i'm writing #i always make minor typos and then notice after the post has over 50 notes