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#try some etho next!
wantonlywindswept · 2 years
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hermitcraft anon - i thought you should know this since you introduced me to them; I have now managed to binge watch *ALL* of docm77's hermitcraft content and much of his non-hermitcraft specific stuff since i last messaged you. My head may be aching but my satisfaction at completing watching stuff is incredibly high!
anon if you could hear the unholy cackling that came out of my mouth
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Hermittober day 14: Clash
YIPPEEE!!!! IM ACTUALLY POSTING ON TIME!!! It’s when Gem was pvping Etho and he kept losing to the point where she had, like, 40 heads from him. One of my fav moments from Gem during season 9. It’s really rough cus I was procrastinating doing it, and also was really busy
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rosaacicularis · 1 year
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which was more culturally significant, the renaissance or hermitgang
#it all started when grian touched my redstone he played himself like a xylophone set on automatic doc monster is a savage with technical#skills and crazy vocal acrobatics i’m a legend of the nho with etho beef and double o docmc is coming for you seven fold i got rendog and#other firemen to douce the flames that you shoot at this leviathan iskall can try again you think i’m in hiding i’m just biding my time#putting pen to paper coming up with rhymes were the star studded group got together just to crush you once we start something you know were#going to see it through i’m the knight the soldier who brings the fight at first light y’all had to incite so now i gotta indict you’re#guilty of getting murdered with words y’all are outgunned go home nerds hermitgangx16 if you think you can stop the symmetry that’s false#gteam is dialling for help but i’m in ignoring their calls and when their bodies dissolve you know that false’s on a killing spree try to#stop my pvp and perish painfully i’m the queen of hearts heads and body parts your diamond armour can’t compare to my martial arts i’ll#send a poison dart to make you breath your final breath gteams name will be the only thing left caffeinated animated redstone innovator my#behaviour’s crazy can’t phase me impulse is never lazy tango why would you betray now my scope is aiming better run from cover from all the#ghast balls that i be taming without a sound without no hesitation my creations are amazing better watch your step or the gteam will end up#blazing whos the better team there is no controversy but before it’s said and done y’all be begging us for mercy hermitgangx16 x gone give#it to ya i’m gone give it to ya x gone give it to ya what lyrical boxing dropping blows on all my foes and the gteam they’re looking#unclean needing some sunscreen burnt by words this herd of nerds it’s ubsurd how my rhymes got them injured danger danger i got lasers to#cut them up like razors it’s flexing season and i got flavour their weak defenses like trenches and fences that these dense heads are#presenting they’re presenting them alright they’re not very good i could walk over them i could jump over them i could use an ender pearl i#could use my elytra come one gteam geez hermitgangx16 now i’m back and i got some things i wanna say what’s the letter that starts the#alphabet a ladies get it line the diggity be on the way cleo don’t know who she freaking with all the signs say to notify her next of kin#this digitty dog be dropping bombs nothing but hits spit that line again brrr cause the message is i could mumble rap and still be the best#there is hermitgangx16 oh you wanted me to do a verse i’ll have to check with gteam i mean i’ll have to check my schedule to see if i can#see if i’m able to do that sort of thing busy guy lots of things to do oh do averse bananas do a verse bananas i just don’t know if it’s a#good idea for me to a part of this song really#i just typed all of that out from memory im a little bit insane i think
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vapemaster42069 · 2 years
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I’ve been in the Hermitcraft fandom for approximately 2 weeks, here are my impressions (but just the ones I’ve seen a lot lols):
- Etho: funky canadian ninja who totally does not have a shopping addiction, used to be a good pvper? but not much anymore. still has a reputation for it tho lol. Pretty good at redstone, usually bases w someone
-GTWS: clumsy megabuilder with incredible charisma, likes to ramble, how dID HE BUILD A MOUNTAIN IN A SIBGLE DAY, good singer, is he the only american? i stg I keep thinking ppl are americans, then they drop a Canadian-ism like “tomoahrrow” man. Bonus points bc he’s from Seattle, and I was born there so. ye
-Grian: chaos-loving businessman, elytra, loves to fuck with Mumbo, i have never seen this man in headphones. i’m not kidding. not a single video or picture i have ever seen of this dude contains him in headphones. not even clips of him playing minecraft irl. i’m convinced he just plays with the PC volume out loud
-Bdubs: fun moss man, likes to shoot the shit, uhh. haven’t seen a lot of him lols. I like his cadence tho
-Doc: redstone? haven’t seen him much, yet. maker of conflict. pranks?
-PearlescentMoon: force to be reckoned with, extremely funny, good builder, I plan to watch more of her but I’ve mostly seen the clips from Boatem meetings as I’ve started w Grian’s pov. :3
-MumboJumbo: “it’s really quite simple” no. no it is not. potato man. incredibly smart and also a dumbass. does not ever know what he’s doing, but has an incredible awareness of how things work. banter. terrible businessman. makes. so many sales. mustache.
-Impulse: i just really like this dude’s voice. like i could listen to him talk abt nothing for hours, it’s great. uhh. giant builds (not like Scar, but Scar is. Scar)
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darkclouud9 · 1 year
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m glad m not the only one getting a lil frustrated over the sexyman polls.
it's rly more of a popularity contest anyway.
also wtf how is Scott losing to Etho?? Scott is so ??? Etho's a wet cat what is this
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Etho cannot deny that in some way, the ocean is messing with his friends, and that he noticed far too late.
It targets Gem first, long before it goes after anyone else, so subtly it’s almost undetectable. Here’s the way he notices: her little boat is cute, but the mangrove wood on the trim seems old and rotten in some places, murky river water staining the paint that coats the sides. The lighthouse, when built, seems washed out, as if the color has been sucked from the stone that forms it. Etho finds this strange, but refuses to jump to conclusions- Gem is still his little sibling with the same warm smile, so he lets it be for now.
It’s really when the fishing craze begins where Etho starts having doubts about the normalcy of things. Grian is in no way an average person most of the time, but this level of dedication is new and sort of suspicious. It starts with the mending book, which is fine, since he’s decided to avoid villager trading this season. Etho comes over sometimes and jokes about the luck of the sea. Here is where it gets weird, though: when he comes over to make that joke again, Grian turns his head, oh so slowly, expression serious and eyes blank as he replies.
“The ocean will provide the book. It’s the next one, I know it.”
It takes a little more effort than it should for Etho to not turn tail and run. The tambre of his friend’s voice is off-kilter and strange, almost hollow in the way it echoes. And it’s the way he doesn’t say mending, he just says the book- Etho can’t help but feel like he isn’t fishing for enchantments anymore. The air smells of rot and slime. He swallows bile, gives a little uh-huh as a reply, and leaves as soon as he can.
Then there’s Pearl and Beef, obsessed with salmon, of all things. Pearl’s thing seems like a one-off, but Doc tells him that Beef has taken the joke about “big salmon” a little too far, claiming he’s gotten emails from them that have threatened the goat directly. Etho doesn’t really know what to make of that, or Pearl’s salmon head, or the continuous slapping of fish on noteblocks that’s driving him insane.
But he knows this: he’s never really liked fishing before, not for its intended use, anyway. It’s good to have in a death game, but not once has Etho found the monotonous motions of fishing appealing. Grian said it best himself: he used to think fishing was lame. And he did. Does. He thinks it’s lame. He thinks all of this stuff about the river and the boats and the ocean and the salmon and the rot is all really weird and not at all cool. He’s only here to make sure his friends are okay. Not to fish, because he doesn’t want to, just to keep Magic Mountain in line.
But Grian says it again: Etho walked up here and was like ‘this is lame’, now look at him! Etho, in turn, looks at his hands. When did he start fishing? Was the sun always that high in the sky? Did the ocean always sing like that? Was there always a magnetic force to the waves at the shore, pulling him closer with every lap of sea foam? Was the lighthouse always this beautiful?
No, no it wasn’t. He knows this. Something is very, very wrong. There’s something in the water that’s making his friends lose it, and there’s something supernatural that’s trying to pull him in. He needs to get out of here, back to the jungle, with its nice green grass and earthy smells-
To his right, Etho hears his death call. The bell rings, the swan sings, and the water keeps lapping at his feet. It’s too late, he knows it, in the way that his hands are gripping the fishing pole with white knuckles, in the way the lilypads seem to grow under his feet to get him closer to the great deep blue. The music continues, the serenade settling into his bones, giving him an eerie sense of calm.
In the magnetic pull of the moment, he doesn’t even realize he’s crying.
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stareaterau · 2 months
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Chapter 1 episode 4
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Time for some new characters perhaps?
CW: description of pain
Read below↓
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Etho is relieved to finally have a moment of peace from that incessant beeping. It’s been driving him insane from the moment he woke up, surrounded by heaps of twisted and mangled space debris. Impact crates sat all around him, filled in and covered with the – barely recognisable – remains of old battleships. With some smug satisfaction, he’d spotted what was left of countless Vindicator insignias. They were marked on their dented hulls and scattered supply crates, their paint scraped away over time. The beeping had been increasing steadily, as Etho traipsed across the sand-swept wreckage, reverberating around his head in a way that made him worried that he’d suddenly developed a strange form of tinnitus… not that he hadn’t already been developing it for years thanks to his constant exposure to loud machinery. But now – as he approaches the rusting wreckage of a massive spaceship that rests, standing like a beacon, nestled atop a mound of its mangled brethren, its form surprisingly intact save for the side of its hull, the once sturdy metal gored open – the silence is deafening. After having grown accustomed to the constant beeps, the absence of noise is almost overwhelming.
Etho hoists himself up and over the mangled opening in the ship, grateful that his gloves prove to be enough protection against the likely scalding metal. He breathes a sigh of relief as his heavy boots thud onto the dusty metal flooring inside the wreckage. The cooler air hitting him immediately. The insulated walls and dim metal halls of the ship create a welcome reprieve after the blazing heat of the desert outside. Etho is not dressed for this sun, since the dark fabric and fluffy interior of his jacket are more suitable for the chill of space. Maybe if he’d known that he’d find himself waking up in a strange desert, he’d have actually dressed for the occasion. He pulls his hood down, shaking the sand from his clothes, finally protected from the wind as it peppers the landscape outside with sand.
Etho stretches, his long limbs cracking. With a sigh, he looks around the room he climbed into. It looks like some kind of barrack. Uncomfortable uniform beds line the walls and old, musty bedding lays strewn about the room. He grimaces. Those blankets look scratchy as hell. Despite his initial disgust, Etho would probably be tempted to pick one of the beds and not get up for days if they weren’t also covered in sand that had blown in through the fissures in the ship's wall caused by its crash landing, years ago. He assumes it was years ago, at least, considering the rust and the sand that has made itself home in every possible corner.
He walks out into the corridor, brightened by long strips of broken lights stretching down the hall in either direction. Tangled and fraying wiring hangs down from the ceiling, the panelling that was meant to hide them likely thrown and forgotten somewhere during the ship's rough descent. A ship like this should have plenty of rooms that could prove far more useful than a dusty dorm room. If he’s lucky it may even have a stocked storage room. The ship's crew certainly wouldn’t have run out of rations before their unexpected demise.
Etho turns right, padding down the hallway, periodically peering through the occasional unlocked door as he passes by, each one leading into increasingly dark and dingy rooms.The corridor leads him deeper into the belly of the ship, further away from the blazing sun’s reach. The interiors sit dusty, undisturbed and utterly useless. Not a single one appears to contain anything of use to Etho unless he wants to try and sleep on some of the sandiest beds he’s ever seen. He just woke up not even an hour ago, sleeping right now might be a bit overkill… and not all that useful. He needs supplies, food, anything. A weapon of some sort would be nice too, he doesn’t trust this dump to be as empty and dead as it looks on the surface. A planet with breathable air like this would surely have some inhabitants, no matter how harsh the living conditions. Hell, a blaze would probably thrive in this heat. Their dense fur and high body temperature would protect them from the worst the desert has to offer.
The thumps of heavy boots against the grated metal echo down the corridor. Etho’s careful steps do little to lessen the noise as the rusted hull groans in response to his presence. His tail drags behind him, through the sand and dust that litters the hall, pale white scales and grey-tinged fur drawing lines on the ground as he roams the winding halls.
He comes up to a split in the path… or well, it’s not much of a split. The corridor that should veer off to the right comes to a quick end, its flooring having collapsed in on itself, broken pipes and tangled wires hanging down from the ceiling. The floor is caved in on itself, twisted metal sloping down into the pitch-black pit that is the lower floors. Etho cringes at the creaking sound of metal that echos out of the hole. He doesn’t want to think about the strain the weight of the crashed vessel is causing on its fractured hull. The last thing he wants is to be trapped in this hunk of junk if its supports give way.
Deciding he’d rather not risk catching himself on the jagged metal… or falling void-knows how far down the dark pit. Etho, instead, turns left and ventures down the more intact corridor. At least there’s far less sand this way. Although Etho suspects the damage has already been done, he’ll be finding those persistent grains for months. Years, even. The lights above flicker sporadically – or at least the few that managed to survive the years in one piece – combating the increasing darkness with their cold, dim fluorescence.
Etho pauses, reaching up to flick one of the long bulbs as it fades out, causing it to sputter back to life for just a moment before dying out once again. Etho realises with a start that the ship must still have a functioning power source somewhere, Etho realises. It might not have much life left in it if these half-dead lights are anything to go off, but it’s better than nothing. This ship might still have some useful parts lying around. Etho could try fashioning… something from the scraps. Something that could help him get off this dead planet, or at least send some kind of distress signal, with the hopes that someone, anyone is close enough to hear it.
He’ll take anything that might prove useful while he figures out where he is. It’s better than his current lack of possessions. He’d had nothing on him when he woke up, which, concerningly, was not how he’d been before. Etho never left home without at least a knife or two, preferably a gun too. He’s not stupid. The last thing he wants is to be cornered by some Vindicator grunt without any means of defending himself. He’d never hear the end of it.
But, for now, it’ll probably just be nice to have shelter with some shoddy lights. While sleeping under the stars doesn’t sound too unpleasant, sleeping on trash in a sandstorm definitely does.
Etho picks up his pace. He can at least assess the damage to the ship's redstone if he can find the engine room. Until he knows what supplies he’s working with he can’t properly plan his next move. The thought makes him shudder. Being stranded in the middle of nowhere, with no clue where he is, no memory of how he got here, and no plan sounds like, quite possibly, the worst combination. Hell, graveyard planets aren’t typically in inhabited solar systems…if he’s really that far from civilisation, he’s fucked. The sooner he can figure out a plan of action the better.
Rounding a corner, the corridor quickly comes to an end. Standing in front of him is exactly what he had been hoping for. Another doorway the door itself, thankfully, resting mostly open. Albeit disconnected from the track that would usually enable its closure. Beyond its frame, flickering lights illuminate a room lined with control panels and overturned chairs. Lights pulse faintly behind dusty buttons and screens and wires stretch across the floor, twisting over and tangling with one another. He’s found the cockpit.
Etho grins behind his mask, the slight crinkle of his eyes the only sliver of emotion displayed for the lonely wreck. He cracks his knuckles before making his way over to the closest control panel.
He pauses for a moment, eyes narrowed in thought and hands hovering over the rusted controls. He never actually checked if he’s truly alone in this place. Glancing around the room again shows no more signs of life than his first inspection. He hadn’t noticed footprints at any point in his journey so far. Void knows there’s enough sand everywhere for them to show up. He’s well and truly alone.
Giving in to curiosity, he cracks open the console, prying off the loose screen, exposing the guts of the ship inside. Looking through the rusty parts, he investigates the state they’re in, hoping that any of the individual parts can prove useful. Who knows, maybe he can get the engine up and running and get out of here… it doesn’t look like it though. Holding up a particularly rusted part, Etho scowls, tossing it onto the metal flooring behind him with a loud clang. He continues to rummage through the mechanisms of the ship, anything unusable – which proves to be most of it – getting tossed, carelessly to the side with a loud clunk.
“...Oh, what the heck?”
Etho jolts at the voice behind him. Dropping the rusted redstone comparator he had been holding, in surprise. Spinning on his heels, Etho’s eyes land on a figure standing in the doorway, their face scrunched up in a frustrated scowl. They look like some sort of glare-blaze hybrid, judging by the green feathers scattering the right side of their face and the brown markings that tint their brow and the tips of their ears. The tips of their fingers are coated in that same brown, the point where the markings merge back into their paler skin tone hidden behind a pair of padded fingerless gloves. Etho notes, however, the figure's distinct lack of a tail, his own flicking to the side subconsciously. They’re dressed in a cuffed t-shirt and baggy, padded trousers. A singular grey knee pad is strapped to their right leg, though how much that would help them if they fell onto their other knee Etho is not sure. Their deep, dark eyes lock onto Etho. Huge, pure-black pupils boaring into him.
“Uhhh-” Etho stares, dumbstruck at his unexpected visitor. He'd been so sure that he was alone here. The metal dunes outside had betrayed no signs of life. All the ships look like they’d crashed into the planet, their hulls cracked and bent from the impact. It’s unlikely that any of their passengers survived.
“Who the hell are you?” The glare furrows his brow further, pointing an accusatory finger towards Etho. “What are you doing to my ship?”
“...Your ship?”
The stranger scoffs, seemingly offended at the insinuation that this mangled spaceship isn’t clearly his. “Yes, my ship! I found it first!”
Etho rolls his eyes at the childish nature of the argument, there’s no way of knowing who had actually seen it first. It's not exactly hard to spot. The massive ship stands like a beacon atop the mounds of twisted metal, it could probably be seen for miles across the ship graveyard.
“I saw it the second I woke up here,” Etho counters, throwing out a bit more information than he’d usually feel comfortable with, testing the glare's response. They don’t react.
Their brows remain just as furrowed, eyes just as piercing. A couple of seconds pass before their mouth contorts into an annoyed snarl. A small scar cuts across their lip, a gap in their teeth replacing the fang that should rest just behind it… Huh.
Etho runs a hand down his mask. He hadn’t realised that the stranger isn’t wearing one, nor a helmet. The air here must be safe to breathe. He decides against removing it for now, though. Maybe they just hadn’t dropped dead yet.
“Yeah, me too! You’re not special!” The other replies, crossing his arms. Etho frowns, the two sides of his split jaw grinding together slightly, behind his mask, in thought. So they had woken up here too, he concludes. They’re probably just as in the dark as he is, lashing out due to the fear of being lost on some graveyard planet with no idea how they got here… Or maybe they’re just like this.
“...I’m the one in the cockpit though.”
“You’re tearing the cockpit apart!” The stranger complains, striding over to a broken comparator, one of the many engine components Etho had scattered across the cockpit floor. They pick it up and twirl it in their hand, glowering at the state of it. Rust rubbing off the metal, staining their fingertips a ruddy orange.
Their dark eyes turn back to Etho, scrutinising him with their gaze. A mischievous glint crosses their face. They give the engine piece one last spin in their hand, before tossing it right at Etho. Hitting him square in the shoulder, the rusted metal cracking as it clatters back onto the ground by Etho's feet. “Ow- Thanks…” he murmurs
“It’s not gonna fly anyway,” he adds, brushing away a spot of rust from where the metal had bounced off his padded jacket.
“I can make it work!”
“Can you?” Etho raises a brow, he’s sceptical anyone would be able to fix a ship in this much disrepair, especially not this guy. They look like they’re more likely to blow up a ship than they are to fix one. The only thing this wreck is good for is shelter and spare parts.
“YES!” the stranger argues, their face contorted into an offended scoff. “GET OUT! FIND YOUR OWN SHIP!”
Etho stands up from where he knelt, hunched over the control panel. He wipes his hands on his trousers, leaving a smear of oil and rust behind on the green fabric. "…Fine, ‘s nothin’ useful here anyway. It’s a rusty mess.”
That only seems to rile the glare up further. Their green feathers bristle, standing on end, and a slight puff of smoke spills from their mouth as they huff angrily.
“IT’S NOT A RUSTY MESS! IT’S MY SHIP!”
Etho, paying their outburst no mind, strides over to where the glare still stands, blocking the doorway with their broad frame. Etho tilts his head, as he looks them up and down, sizing up the shorter, angrier man. They just glare back up at him in response. He snorts.
“Mhm, sure,” Etho finally responds, a sarcastic drawl to his voice. He pushes past them, knocking the stranger out of the way with his shoulder. They stumble to the side, letting out an offended squawk as Etho heads back down the dark corridor of the ship. He smirks at their reaction. Void that guy is full of themself.
If they want this ship so bad they can have it, it's not worth fighting over.
Maybe if he’s quick, Etho can find another, mostly, intact ship to seek shelter in before the sun sets. Preferably one where he won’t have to share with some obnoxious blaze-glare hybrid.
The gash in the ship wall he had climbed through proves easy to find again, thanks to the way it tears through room after room. He picks a door and makes his way through what looks like the remains of a small botany nursery. The plants that had once grown here would’ve helped to generate for the ship's crew back when it was still being maintained, but now it sits in disrepair. Its foliage withered and dry from neglect, the glass of their terrariums shattered and scattered across the ground. The only sign of life this room has to offer now comes in the form of a tiny, sandy rat, no bigger than Etho’s palm, sitting in a dusty plant pot. Though, it seems mostly unbothered by the enderian's sudden appearance, the shrivelled stick of a plant that it's digging its teeth into is clearly more important. Beady eyes follow as he picks his way through the overturned interior, careful to avoid the sharp shards of glass, even if it’s unlikely it would be able to puncture his boot's thick soles.
He doesn’t even need to climb over the jagged metal this time, the whole exterior wall is ripped out from top to bottom. The gnarled, torn edges of the floor and remaining walls the only evidence such a wall ever existed in the first place. Instead, he lowers himself and jumps down, landing with a clatter on the scrap metal ground outside.
The sun still beats down on the metal mounds surrounding him, the old wrecks sizzling from the heat. The topography shifts and ripples behind the torrid air. Etho blinks and holds his hand up to shelter his eyes as the metallic landscape reflects the bright light at him from every direction. He had not missed this, the ship had been stuffy, but it was at least sheltered from the worst of the heat. Etho had better find another shelter soon, he decides. Especially as the sun has now dipped far lower in the sky than it was before. He’d rather not be wandering the wasteland at night, at least not until he can assess how safe this planet really is.
Etho readjusts his mask – breathing in dust cloud after dust cloud probably won’t be great for his lungs – before beginning his descent down the mound. His pace is slow and careful as the scrap below his feet shifts and dislodges from its capricious position. Each step sends small waves of metal debris scattering down the hill ahead of him. It’s not the quietest of descents, but Etho can’t bring it in himself to care. Not when he’s already met and fallen out with, who is likely, the only person for miles.
He takes a deep breath before continuing.
The whistle of wind rushing through the trash peaks almost disguises a building ringing in his ears, the constant note mostly fading out into the background when he pays it no heed. Shaking his head, Etho groans. He almost misses the beeping.
He really should look into what had caused that… as soon as he finds himself somewhere safe to settle for the night. It’s far too risky to stay out in the open with the sun rapidly sinking in the sky. Not while he doesn’t know what kinds of wildlife might call this place home, and going back to the security of that ship is clearly a no-go.
The hairs on the back of his on the back of his neck stand up as a staticky sensation dances across his skin. Etho furrows his brow. That’s just another reason to find shelter. The last thing he wants is to get caught out in a thunderstorm. But, as he glances at the vast, cloudless sky, it holds no sign of a coming storm
Etho reaches the bottom of the metal mound, luckily only almost losing his footing once or twice. The moment his boot meets the sandy ground the ringing solidifies into something real, something vicious and sharp. He stumbles. It feels like hands are reaching into the deepest parts of his soul and wrapping their hands around his heart.
With another step electricity surges through his body. Etho buckles over, every nerve set alight in white-hot pain. A hook is driven through his heart. Etho bites his tongue. The hands pull.
His vision turns white.
Then red.
Etho keels over. His mind struggles for coherency as he clutches his chest.
He rips his mask off, struggling for breath as a haze settles over the world. Thick and suffocating. Shrouding the landscape around him until all he can see is his own shaking hands and the shipwreck, looming above him, mockingly.
A desperate resolve washes over him.
He needs to get back. It hurts to breathe and he needs to get back.
The ship is safe. It’s walls and shelter and shade and it’s safe. And there is absolutely room for two. Despite that glare’s adamant claims.
They don't need all that space.
Etho found it too.
They can share.
It’s massive.
He can easily stay there without even running into them once.
And it hurts.
And it hurts.
And he can't think.
And the world is spinning.
And he's clambering back over the gnarled ship wall. His clothes snagging on the jagged edge. The thud of his knees, connecting hard with the floor, echoing through his bones.
Relief washes over him. The strain on his heart easing slowly as he staggers back into the welcoming shade. With a huff, he slumps down in the ship's corridor as colours aside from the ruddy hue bleed back into the world.
Etho’s not sure how long he sits there, on the hard floor of the ship corridor, gathering his breath. The cool metal of the ship wall presses against his back, grounding him as his head slowly stops spinning.
But he’s not alone as he gathers his thoughts. Movement catches his eye as, across the hall, that small rat scurries into view, its dried-up twig abandoned. Beady eyes meet his own, unblinking as Etho stills, not wanting to scare the critter away. It’s nice to have some company that won’t attack him for daring to breathe the same air… hopefully.
Its pale, sandy fur stands out in stark contrast against the dark, grey colouration of the ship. He’s caught similar vermin hiding in the dark corners of his own ship before, but they had looked different. Their ears had been shorter and stubbier, their fur dull and grey to match their surroundings. Etho’s not exactly an expert on alien fauna, but if this planet is as uninhabited as it looks then the small rodent might actually be undiscovered. He watches as it slowly relaxes and begins to clean its long whiskers with its paws. It’s kind of cute. Maybe if he captures it and makes it off this forsaken planet he’ll be able to name the species. He’ll probably name it something scary. Like taxes.
Not that aiding scientific exploration should be his priority right now. He’s more likely to cook up and eat the rodent if he actually catches it. Food will probably be scarce in this desert junkyard, and Etho is awfully fond of not starving to death… besides, he’s probably eaten worse.
“You coulda leant a hand y’know.” Great, now he’s talking to a weird rat.
He drops his head back against the wall, inhaling sharply as the impact sends a jolt of pain reverberating around his, already aching, skull. Closing his eyes, he digs the palms of his hands into them. Today is going great so far. At least the beeping still hasn’t come back, hopefully, it’s gone for good now. Etho doesn’t want to imagine trying to think with both the beeping and fuzzy disorientation from whatever the hell that was, overwhelming his brain.
The only sound is the wind outside as it whistles through the cracks marring the ship's hull. It blows roughly through the rooms that are unlucky enough to share that exterior wall, creating a dull, rhythmic thrum, slowly getting louder as it echoes through the halls and – oh, that’s footsteps, Etho realises. Great.
The glare rounds the corner, dark eyes immediately landing on Etho. A scowl crosses their face. They’re clearly just as pleased to see Etho as he is to see them. Taxes scampers off, diving through a grate in the wall, at the sight of the other figure. Etho’s never wished he could follow a rodent quite as much as he does now.
“I thought you were leaving.” They plant their hands on their hips, eyes narrowing as they scowl down at Etho.
“Mm, I tried. Didn’t go so well.” Etho frowns, tearing his eyes away from the hole the rodent had vanished into.
He takes in the glare’s appearance. They look scruffier than before. Their hair is unkempt – well, more unkempt – it falls over their face in messy strands, green and brown mixing together in a muddy tangle. The green feathers scattered across their face are puffed up and dishevelled and their breathing is heavy. What had they been doing after Etho left?
“Huh? What do you mean you ‘tried’?” They ask, making quotation marks with their fingers to emphasise their point. An incredulous tone laces their voice. “Just walk away and find your own ship. It’s not hard!”
Just to complete their point, the glare strides forward in a mock impersonation of Etho’s own pace, coming to a stop in front of the enderian. They scowl down at him, not even trying to hide their distaste. If anything they’re exaggerating it. They place their hands on their hips in, what looks to be, an authoritative manner.
Etho rolls his eyes. It’s nice to know he’s stuck in this place with someone mature. “You try if you think it’s so easy.”
A childish part of Etho, that he’s not so proud of, hopes that the same thing will happen to the glare if they leave the ship. But then again, if that… sensation was indeed a product of trying to leave the wreck, instead of just a freak incident, that might mean he’s stuck with this guy. A thought that fills Etho with dread… It would be worth it to get back at them for taunting him, though.
“To… walk out the door?” They narrow their eyes, trying to figure out just what Etho’s playing at. Ethos face betrays no ulterior motives, though. Even with his mask discarded on the ground, his expressions exposed.
Etho nods. “Mhm. Bet you can’t do it.”
“Bet I can!”
That was easy… they’re way too eager to be right.
Etho pauses to think. If the beeping stopped when he reached this ship then this is clearly where it had been leading him. Etho wouldn’t be surprised if someone had put a chip of some sort in him before abandoning him in this wasteland… it wouldn’t actually be the first time. That could explain the beeping. It might even be the reason for what he just felt too. If that is the case, the glare is probably here for the same reason. Etho’s willing to bet they’ll feel the exact same thing. He’s also willing to bet that they wouldn’t believe him if he tried to tell them.
“How about this? You get the ship to yourself if you can get, mmm, 10 yards from it- the bottom of the mound. If you can’t,” He looks the glare directly in the eye, the inky voids returning an increasingly confused stare. ”It’s mine to scavenge for parts.”
They narrow their eyes, trying to parse Ethos logic. That’s not exactly a hard ask. “You’ll… leave me and this ship alone if I… walk… down a hill.”
“Mhm,” he nods.
The glare pauses. The last thing they want is their ‘beautiful’ ship torn to pieces for parts. What’s the point in finding shelter if you don’t pick the grandest option there is, damn it. This wager is objectively the stupidest thing they’ve ever heard, there’s no feasible way to actually lose it. They smirk.
“Your loss. Easiest bet I’ve ever made! Watch and learn!”
The glare turns on his heels, marching out of the hall with purpose. The sound of their footsteps echoing, loudly down the halls of the ship.
Etho relaxes slightly as the glare disappears from view. He leans back against the wall, mind still buzzing. The cool metal grounding him in place.
He waits. Anticipation slowly building.
The faint sound of metal sliding and clattering from the glare’s heavy steps meets his ears. Etho chuckles. They’re clearly not the stealthy type.
Etho’s amusement quickly dies down as a familiar tightness settles in his chest. He grimaces and steadies himself as he braces for round two as the ringing takes hold and the world falls to red.
He really hopes this isn’t going to be a recurring condition.
A distant yelp echos through the ship – shrill and startled – as the glare concedes their bet.
Etho breathes in a sharp breath as his heart tugs on its bindings. Vindication bleeding into his mind, through the gaps of his thoughts and pain.
He should leave the ship. Meet the glare on their ascent back up the shrapnel hill.
They might need help.
No.
They’ll come to him.
Etho waits. His mind slowly returning to its usual state.
He hears them before he sees them, their angry grumbles and stomps telling Etho all he needs to know about how they’re feeling.
They storm back into the corridor. Stumbling slightly as they steady themselves with a hand on the wall.
Wild eyes lock onto Etho. A fire burns deep inside, shining brightly through their pupils like a feral animal reflecting light in the night.
“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?”
Their face contorts in a furious expression, as even more smoke billows out of their mouth than earlier. Etho wonders how much he can get them to do that.
“Told you.” A smug expression crosses Etho’s face.
“TOLD M- WHA- HUH- WHAT THE HECK?” The glare splutters, more smoke spills out of their mouth with each rapid breath.
“Just walk away, it's not hard,” Etho taunts, doing a poor imitation of the other, smirking as their face scrunches up in annoyance.
“...I’m gonna kill you,” they spit, marching up to Etho, their fists balled stiffly at their sides,
“You can tr- ohHH ACK HEY!”
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theminecraftbee · 5 months
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"What do you think happens after we die?"
Cleo glances up from where she'd been sorting through all their weaponry for the day to come. She looks at Etho, who looks just as confused as her, and then she looks to Grian.
"Uh, you're sort of asking the wrong people," Etho says slowly.
"I didn't know you were a philosopher, Grian," agrees Cleo.
"No, I mean--listen, this is important," Grian says. "What do you think happens after we die?"
Cleo stares at Grian. He has an extremely intent expression on his face. Twisted. Almost concerned. They... don't like it, actually. The question about being a philosopher had been sarcastic, sure, but true. Grian doesn't normally dwell on questions like this.
"Alright, then," they say. "If you have to know, I don't think there's anything."
"Wait, really?" says Etho.
"I mean, yeah. There's probably--or, well, whatever there is, it's not worth worrying about. Why do you think I'm undead and not just dead? Or, well, normally undead, I guess? I'm not undead right now, whatever happened that made me all alive and stuff happened, but like... The point is that I still have things to do. Then, when I'm done doing my things, I think there's nothing, at least not until the next one of these stupid games they raise me from the dead for."
Etho blinks. "Huh. You know, I always thought that if anyone could give us an answer, it'd be you, so--nothing?"
"Yeah, that's what I said."
Grian coughs. Cleo looks at him again. He's pale. Very, very pale. Like he's seen a ghost, or is very sick. She frowns, but before she can ask, he's saying: "You really think there's nothing?"
"I didn't think you'd both be so upset by it," Cleo says.
"I'm not really upset," Etho says slowly. "I don't know. I sort of hoped there was something, but it's not worth relying on, right? There's not a second chance out there for us. Not except for the next game. I think I just hoped that maybe, some people got something... nicer?"
"Don't you think we'd remember if there was?" Cleo says.
"I mean--you're the undead one. I thought that if anyone would know--"
"You really think there's nothing," Grian says, and he sounds so horrified that Cleo and Etho stop arguing immediately.
"Grian?" Cleo says.
"You think there's nothing. Gods, you think there's nothing," Grian says. "And Timmy said--Timmy said the thing they get is to Watch."
Cleo frowns. "Jimmy? When'd he say that to you?"
"An hour ago," Grian says.
"What?" Cleo says.
"I was--no wonder you wouldn't have guessed. No wonder he was also so--you think there's nothing. Why do you think there's nothing?" Grian says, horrified and pale-faced and trembling.
"Uh, buddy, I hate to break it to you, but Jimmy's been dead for days. He couldn't have been talking to you."
"He's spectating!" Grian says, throwing his hands up.
"He's a ghost?" Etho asks.
"I mean, yeah, but that's not even what I mean. I mean--what do you think comes between the games?"
"I told you, right?" Cleo says, and Etho shrugs.
Grian sits down on the ground, hard. "Oh," he says.
"If it helps I also didn't know there were ghosts until you just told me," Cleo says hesitantly. "That's--kind of strange, isn't it? That there are ghosts? Guess it checks out, given all of our unfinished business, but you'd think I'd have known that. Would remember something proper of it, right?"
"Yeah, I really thought you would have," Grian whispers.
"Was, uh--being contacted from beyond the grave fun?" Etho asks.
"Etho," Cleo says.
"What!" Etho says.
"I have made a grave mistake," Grian says.
"...Grian?" Cleo asks, but he doesn't elaborate, and refuses to. He sits there, pale on the ground, until Etho and Cleo sit next to him and start arguing over his head about who they'd haunt as ghosts. To tell the truth, Cleo's heart isn't really in it. They probably wouldn't do much haunting, is the thing. If they were a ghost, they'd probably just try to reunite with these two again. Yeah, reuniting with family--that seems like the kind of thing Cleo would do as a ghost.
They wonder if Jimmy was trying to do that too, and that's why Grian's so upset.
They also wonder if it's something else, but for the life of them, they cannot begin to guess what.
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martuzzio · 4 months
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HERMITCRAFT CATCHPHRASES
Hi, here's a (hopefully comprehensive) reference list of hermit catchphrases! The main goal here is to help writers and artists who (like me) might struggle with getting the characterization of some hermits right. Check out more info at the end of the post!
Note: this list updates a lot whenever I get new suggestions, which means reblogs aren't always fully accurate. I've linked this post to the top of my blog so it's easy to access the most recent version :)
Bdubs Shreep / uh-oh, gotta shreep! Crastle I love ya to death It’s gorgee Beyootiful Uh oh! Hell’s blazes! Hawsies YOU'LL SPEAK WHEN SPOKEN TO! Shuddup! Judas priest! Bdubs' PERFECT REDSTONE!! What in the world! Holy cow! Nuh-uh! Hoimycraaaaaf Whimsy Trying my heart out
Beef EEskall That was my nickname in college! Nailed it! Dangit! Beefy Tunes Smelly Etho Opulent Etho? Oh, yeah, I own him Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Beef taught Etho about redstone Oh my goodness! Oh boy! What the heck Oh, baby! Quote unquote A ton of __
Cleo Class dismissed! I don’t need your stinky torches I will break your legs Trash is fish The answer to everything is leather pants Not because it’s the sand castle you deserve, but it’s the sand castle I need! What did you do, Joe…. It's FINE, everything's FINE Lovely Silly I mean... Not gonna lie... To be fair...
Cub DA CREAMADA CROP Alright guys Nice, nice Ladies and gentlemen / ladies and gentlemen, we got ‘em Eeeeasy money Beautiful, absolutely beautiful Mmmmmhmmmmmm Holy smokes Let's goooo! Sweet Oh, baby! Man, oh man Without further ado Peace out Cheers / cheers, man There's some heat coming off that thing
Doc Are you kidding me now? Alright guys Can’t touch this The G.O.A.T. Etho, get to the damn land man! It all started when Grian touched my redstone… Epic
Etho Uh-huh Like-a so Oh snap Get your snacks! Holy smokes! Take care, have a good day, bye bye Aww snappers! Aww yeah Von Sway I barely know ‘er! Speaking of llamas Bright blue bamboo E. to the T. to the your mum Beefaroni / Beefers Speaking of llamas… That’s what she said! Free glass Eyy, I go up and I go down. Ladders! / Eyy, ladders! Suckerrrr! Check it out
False Blimey Awh dude Frick False Supremacy Oh my goodness I don't know about you guys, but... Props to __ I'm not gonna lie...
Gem Gem is great Her [name] is [adjective]! Gem will __ ("Gem will watch Impulse") Perfect! Epic It's true, I swear! Not gonna lie... Oh gosh! Trust the process Nailed it!
Grian Hello! My name is Grian Good… byeeeee! Pesky bird My heart! My little heart! Mumbo Mumbo you are AFK Can we just agree that Mumbo loses? What in Queen Elizabeth’s shiny crown was that? It wasn't me, it was the man in the chicken costume! SaAaaaAaAnd Chobblesome SCAR NO— / NO SCAR— In theory… Electric boogalooo What does this button do? What on earth? This is in shambles Get outta here! Hear me out... We don't have __. What we DO have is __ Just straight up Without further ado Crack on Bingo bango Yes. 100%
Hypno Right, right Mmhmm You guys Dang guy
Impulse What’s goin on everyone? Shovel Shuffle BEHIND YOU GEM! Peeps Geez Let's goooo! Are you kidding me? Oh, man Now we're talkin'! Holy smokes Oh my gosh How cool is that? Jeez! Dang it! Buddy Presi (for present) You bet!
Iskall Hallo -skall ("richskall") That’s mega / that’s looking absolutely mega Omega “Excuse me? Sir?” __ of doom Okay, lol And I will see you dudes in the next episode I’ve had a realization Oh for goodness sake! It’s not fat, it’s big-boned Not gonna lie SaAaaaAaAnd Very fine Great success! Bird poop Bumbo Cactoni Do you even bust? / Do you even bust bro E Pag
Jevin Hypno smells! Oh my god Sucker What the heck Dude Man I swear
Joe Howdy y’all! That’s the Joe Hills difference! I will now say a poem of my own devising Core concept Keep adventurin’! Time skip! Who’s the guy who conquers death? That’s Joe Hills No not rage quitting I have to pick up my daughter from school or my wife will rage quit me! Grow Hills / Expand Joe Joepacity / Jhost
Keralis Look into my eyes and nothing but my eyes Wanna buy a book? Spank you very much Just sit back, relax, and enjoy Like this, like that I can see my house from here! Bubbles, Shashwammy, Sweetface, Princess Lookie lookie at my cookie / lookie lookie at my cookie… no, please don’t Like-a so I love your face I’m a real boy! I don’t k-nove (know) Not like this! Booshes Clever girl But first… lemme take a selfie I’m sinking… mayday mayday we’re sinking! Hallo yes dis is de German coast guard what are you sinking about? Scary harry larry I’m alayve! Breathtaking — no you’re breathtaking Mm-kay Oh behave I’m a simple man MeOOOow Welcome to my humble abod-ee Not too shabby My face! My palms are sweaty, mom’s spaghetti Tag 2 Booga Booga Stiffy nipples Batman! First I was afraid, I was petrified...
Mumbo I worry about myself sometimes I'm not really quite sure if I like that or not Yeah… yeah that's looking good… I guess… Dude! Chuffed to bits It’s a bit pants I’m such a spoon Oh my word It’s quite simple, really / it’s actually quite simple Bonkers I’ll catch you in the next one. See ya Off you pop Oh goodness me! Hermit challenges — initiation! All done and dusted To be frankly honest Seriously seriously cool Absolutely nuts I don’t even know what to say Iskall I feel sick Peace, love, and plants Moon’s big Mumbo for Mayor Quite simple
Pearl Lovely Bonkers At this point... Cheeky / you cheeky What's this? Mate
Ren Now we’re cooking with gas / we be cooking with gas today Ladies, get in line! / ladies, gentlemen, everybody get in line! You picking up what I’m putting down My dudes Y’know what I’m sayin’ Coming atcha frommmmmm Dude Coming from left, right, and center Greetings cyberdogs and citizens of the Interwebs, this is Ren-diggity-dog comin at ya in another episode from the Hermitcraft server (ey!) Automagically Jazztastic Janktastic Oh baby Like nobody’s business Looking absolutely magnificent Anyhoozle Twaddle Renstone The Octagon is a well-oiled machine! [word]-age [word]-ation [word]-i (to make things plural You love / hate to see it I'm just sayin' / if you know what I'm sayin' Professional __ Jazz Anyhoozle Exqueeze me? Freakin' Some serious __ What's happenin', baby? Chesticles
Scar Scarred for life Woah, what in the world! It’s gonna be am-ay-zing LOOK at the siiiiize of that Well, hello there my fellow miners and crafters, GoodTimesWithScar here. Welcome back to the wonderful world of Hermits and crafting Don’t forget to subscribe or you might just become scarrrred for life! Looking super fancy Let’s hit super fast build mode! Look at the size of that Appreciate ya Hotguy! Operation: Aquathunder! That’s what she said! Rapscallion You silly goose Oh, sweet baby Jellie! Bayum! / Bam! The bee's knees Easy peasy, orangey squeezy
Stress Are you havin’ a giggle? / are you takin the mic? Mate Oh my god / oh my gosh / oh my good gordons Gorgeous Plonker Geezer Ohhhhh nooooo! Yeeeesshhh I legged it Such a pro / I'm such a pro Proper __ Cheeky Bloke Thingamajig Ain't [word]-age [word]-ies
Tango Happy fun sauce -ificator, -inator, -ness, -tastic Skadoodle Fearsome bunny slippers Noob juice So here’s the deal Holding shift Shwoop Flim flam Poop came out Extra dumb with dumb sauce / __ of extra dumb Flee with extra flee! / fleeing with terror! Boom booms Gah! The dungeon is ready for its next victim Behold! Results may vary! I think my math is correct, but it’s been known to be wrong This is the worst timeline. I hate everything Big no! You— you freak of nature! Jerkface Jerkbutt Excellent How embarassing This is true Zombert Bits This I gotta see! Right in the face! [word] is happening Yeah baby! Stupid jerks Boop This is the best / worst thing ever! Niner niner niner [general unintelligible noises]
TFC What in tarnation! Crap-tacular Humongous Butt-ugly Ugly as sin Oh, goody Ender-twits Bugger Oh, fart For crying out loud
Wels Words are hard If you will Super __
xB Aww yeah Mmkay Son of a biscuit Pretty frickin' __ Man Get frickin' wrecked! Chestacle Dang it Staaph it Oy vey Crap on a cracker Dang it, Bobby! Dang guy
Xisuma Oh goodness me Oh dangit Geez Peeps I’m such a derp Oh my days Chooturial Issooma Allo Woa’ah Brought (instead of bought) My dude Achacha
Zed Hello hello hello A-good a-bye Muckin' about I lied TaaaAAnnGoOOooooOOOo Hu-jah! Pretty darn __ Certainly Rubbish I'm [word]-ing [word] me [word]-iness What happens is... Get kersplatted! Epic Oh my goodness!
More Info
So I'm currently writing a HC fic and realized how little I know about some of the hermits (I unfortunately don't have time to watch all of them), which made it really difficult to depict them properly in my writing. I'm assuming at least some of you might also struggle with this, so, here we are!
If you know of a catchphrase from any hermit from any season, comment, reblog, send me a an ask or dm, dm me on discord, whatever works the best :D
Note: when I say "catchphrase," I mean anything a hermit repeats over an extended period of time. It can be something said during a single season (like "You'll speak when spoken to!" or "Hermit Challenges!"), or something that spans their entire careers (like "Aww snappers!" or "Plonker"). I'm not looking for one-off quotes that are never bought up again — there's some great sources (like @hermitcraft-correct-quotes) for that already :)
Sources (which will hopefully expand with time): This reddit post from four years ago This other reddit post also from four years ago Reddit from three years ago This cute diagram A more up to date source Another Xisuma's dictionary on his website HC character tv tropes page This incredible google doc
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Work
“Good moring~!” Pearl started as she crossed the DHP parking lot with a pep in her step. It was a beautiful day, she had been up since the crack of dawn riding around the Server on Donkey (who is a mule) to deliver all sorts of letters and parcels. While Tango and Etho were still busy getting the entire mailing system online, she was happy to deliver more by hand.
Recently, the DHP had gotten an influx in mail having to be delivered to them and Pearl had made friends with the somewhat grumpy clerk that was sometimes maybe around. Today he was, for which Pearl was happy because that meant she could give him the mail personally instead of trying to get it into the building by shoving it under the broken door. The office was still under construction, so Pearl could forgive them for not even having a small mailbox.
“We’re closed,” Grian said. He was lounging outside, sitting against the white wall of the building and taking in the sun that crested just over the trees. He looked like he could use a bit more of that sun, but not everybody was as blessed as Pearl to have the best job in the world as a Postmaster and be outside all the time.
“Oh, I’m just delivering the mail,” Pearl answered cheerfully as she dug into her postbag. Everything was perfectly organized so it didn’t take long for her to grab out a stack with at least ten letters bundled together. “There you go, mister Grian, it’s always such a pleasure coming out here!”
When Grian didn’t take the bundle Pearl handed out to him, she just but the them carefully on the pavement next to him. He looked at them like they had said something foul to him, which he wouldn’t know until he actually opened them. Then, Grian looked up again to Pearl and a frown appeared on his face.
“Why are you still here?” he asked, rather rudely.
“It’s just that we barely have the chance to properly have a chat,” Pearl simply explained. “I’m not actually sure if the mailing system will be operational this far out, so I might have to keep coming here myself. Isn’t that great?”
“You really don’t have to,” Grian argued weakly, as he grabbed a paper cup with a steaming liquid from his side and set it to his lips to take a little sip. He pulled a face as if he didn’t much like the beverage, but didn’t say anything about it.
“Oh, don’t worry about it, it’s my job and I do it with pleasure,” Pearl assured him with a smile. “Isn’t it just great how a job can be a calling?”
“Can’t say I share that sentiment,” Grian sighed. He had to squint against the light of the sun to look at Pearl. “Look, if there is anything you want from me you’re going to have to come back when we’re opened.”
“Oh, no, don’t you worry your little cotton socks,” Pearl answered, waving her hand. “That is the beauty of mail, you can tend to it whenever you have the time! You can do it first thing when you open again, some work to look forward to!”
Grian opened his mouth as if he wanted to say something but ended up just shaking his head slowly. He must’ve had a rather bad night of sleep to be in such a mellow mood, Pearl assumed. She couldn’t imagine moping around at her job like this, it was way to wonderful to waste a day with a bad mood.
“So… do you have any mail to send?” she continued when Grian wasn’t pushing his conversation forward. “Any replies you need to send out from the letters I’ve brought you last week?”
“Haven’t gotten to them yet,” Grian answered dryly. “We were closed.”
“Oh,” Pearl was caught of guard by that but regrouped quickly. “Well, just know that you can count on the Hermit Post & Co to deliver anything you need. I can even deliver important documents if you want, with signed handover and everything. I’ll give it my extra secure, personal attention.”
“Great,” Grian answered with a sigh. “Don’t you have more mail to deliver? I was kind of in the middle of something.”
He took another sip from his drink, which seemed to be the ‘something’ he was in the middle of doing.
“Nope,” Pearl answered cheerful, shifting to sit next to Grian with her face turned towards the sun. “But I can enjoy this wonderful sunlight together with you. Isn’t that great?”
“… I don’t get paid enough for this.”   
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salemoleander · 1 year
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"My teeth hurt," Martyn says.
He and Scott are on the deck, enjoying the morning sun before it has the chance to get humid; Scott is busy crafting sugarcane into paper while Martyn is (ostensibly) trying to carve a bowl.
"What, like- cavities? We've only been here for a few days, and I know you're eating the same fish and dried kelp as me." Scott pauses, holding a fresh sheaf of paper. "-and if you're not, and you've been holding sweets out on me, I'll be pissed."
Martyn huffs a laugh, then grimaces when pain shoots up through his sinuses. Ambling over to the table, he half-sits, half-leans on the back of one of their deck chairs.
"Nah, same food as you. Man, I don't know what I did. TNT to the face carry over, d'you reckon?"
He grins, and Scott blanches. Well, shit.
"Alright, what's wrong with my mouth?" Martyn asks, stress rising when Scott doesn't answer. "I've still got teeth, right?"
Scott nods sharply. He wavers on an answer for a moment before sighing. "Yeah. You've just got some new ones, seems like."
‐---------------------------------------------------------------------
The hard part of suddenly having shark teeth, Martyn quickly discovers, is that they are not particularly designed for beings with lips, and certainly not ones that talk.
He tells Scott this, nursing several sore spots on his lips and tongue.
"Have you considered talking less?"
"Oh, screw you."
Scott rolls his eyes, and they go back to sorting through chests in companionable silence. Waves gently lap against the edge of their island, while bamboo canes creak and shift. After a few minutes Scott says, "In the- last time. I remember being relieved, a bit, that even though Cleo and I chose each other-"
"Exactly the conversation I wanted to have," Martyn deadpans.
"Would you shut up? Honestly." Scott smiles, but his jaw flexes as he does and Martyn resolves to shut up and let him say this, whatever it is. At least for the next ten or fifteen seconds. Probably.
"Anyways. I was a tiny bit relieved that I was paired with Pearl, because she was human. And I'd seen how it was for BigB getting canine features and Joel getting whatever the hell from Etho, and you, y'know..."
"Rotting?"
"Eugh. Yeah." Scott looks through their fence-lattice walls and out to the water. "But Pearl didn't stay human."
Martyn raises an eyebrow. (For effect. If Scott is doing a dramatic monologue towards the ocean, Martyn at least gets to make faces, whether or not Scott sees him. Them's the rules.)
"She got kind of... wolf-y? Or more accurately, the game made her wolfy. Not like Ren, not nearly that elegant a combination."
Scott's voice is bitter, an edge to it that Martyn associates with fireworks going off too-close by. "I woke up one morning and my teeth were sharp and there were too many for my mouth. And it hurt, and the worst part was knowing this wouldn't be happening if we'd just done what the game wanted."
Blinking, Martyn says, "Oh." Brilliant. Nailed the response, there.
"I just wanted to tell you. That it might- those might be my fault, because it seems like whatever runs this game doesn't like me very much. There's a reason I set up alone out here."
Martyn- ignoring the ache from his jaw and the kernel of self-interest that tells him to get while the getting is good- scoffs. "None of that, thank you! I don't care if bloody Herobrine has it out for you, we're sticking together."
Relief washes over Scott's face. Martyn adds, "If whoever runs this circus thinks unlimited knives for teeth is a punishment, they're mad."
"Clearly! You were already enough of a menace." Released from whatever tension kept him still, Scott reaches over to flip another chest lid up and starts rifling through. "It's like trying to annoy Joel by giving him too many TNT minecarts."
Martyn snorts. "Right! Once my mouth gets the memo about where everything is now I'll be doing fine- probably better than I was before! A supernatural entity trying to tell me who I can be friends with? C'mon, nothing that stupid is busting the Mean Gills up."
He almost believes it.
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bao3bei4 · 5 months
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why zines? how zines?
i was on a panel at fanworks con 2023 about zines today. it was a lot of fun! i decided to turn my portion of the talk into a post for my friends who couldn’t make it to the panel. 
this post includes my thoughts on: 
why make a zine
how to generate ideas for zines
how to finish your zines
how to build an audience for your zines
so why zines? what are they? [ZEENS, rhymes with beans], pronounced that way because it’s a shortened form of the word magazine, are basically just that: self published magazines. but why make a zine over, say, a blog post? or any other piece of art. 
i have basically three reasons. the first is that making little books is cool. it’s genuinely awesome to make physical zines and have the product of your labor in your hand. it’s a great feeling to finish a project and feel a concrete reward, and a lot of times we don’t get that in our lives.
the second reason is that zines give you absolute editorial control. you can put anything you want on a page. whatever layout, whatever order, whatever fold, whatever content. you name it, you can do it. this is something other venues rarely give you. for artists, it’s phenomenal. and for the rest of us, it gives us the ability to become artists for a little bit, as we lay things out.
the third reason is that zines can be absolute shit. in fact, the more shit they are, the more diy and punk they are. they have an incredible lineage of stolen copy paper and anarchist politics. all that to say, is that there are no standards. the zine ethos is say what you wanna say. it’s tremendously freeing to go fuck polish and respectability, i’m making my project.
because of these three reasons, i want to encourage you to get started making zines by describing common challenges and worries and giving you several practical tips for each on working past them. so, in order, they’re “i don’t know what to make a zine about,” “i struggle to finish projects,” and “no one will read my zines.” let’s get into it.
first up, “i don’t know what to make a zine about.” i think this one is pretty common, even for experienced zine creators. sometimes you’re in the mood to make things but you have no clue what. a lot of people suggest to just go with random words or whatever pops into your head, but i’m picky! i find that unsatisfying! so here are some tips for people in the same boat. 
ONE: what’s distracting you? work with it. because anything can be a zine, let the things you’ve already done serve as inspiration. photos you’ve taken can be formatted into a zine. is there a game sucking up your attention? make a zine about it. the song stuck in your head can turn into a lyricbook, forgotten works in progress or sketches can be resurrected, cannibalized, or even published as incomplete zines. if you’ve been busy with real life, maybe the recipes you’ve been making—even if, especially if, they’re struggle meals, can turn into zines. interview your most interesting friend. summarize a book you read recently. even if you’ve just been doomscrolling, that’s a zine too! i got a zine last weekend called bay area newsreel which was collecting recent articles about local news from leftist perspectives gathered up into a handy volume. your attention is a gift, so look at what zine fodder it’s accumulated for you naturally. 
SECOND: add a twist. sometimes i have an idea but it isn’t quite right. it just seems too straightforward. so i try to develop along a single axis of content or form. what this means is basically go against your instincts, or rather, your first impulse. that first idea is very hard to walk away from, but doing so often gives you an idea that gets you unstuck. so for content, add a different perspective. for me this is often a theoretical approach. when i was stuck on my scum villain zine, turning it into freud zine let the words start flowing. next, on form: present it differently than your first instinct is to. if my first thought is “essay,” i try to figure out how to chunk out the information into modules or how to add interactivity or what kind of illustrations to add. if my first thought is “this could be a fic or comic,” i try turning it into an essay. saying things a different way often gives you a new perspective on the content as well. 
THIRD: copy! make your take on the same thing as someone else. it’s not stealing—well, ideally it isn’t. make your original take and give credit where credit is due and ask permission if necessary. but engage with the medium!!! making zines without reading zines is the same thing as trying to write a paper without citing sources, or a novel without reading your contemporaries. that is, you can do it, but it’s hard. zines are a genre into themselves so figure out how to situate yourself in their ongoing dialogue. an example of this from my own practice is that i own a zine about queer gods and mythological creatures from chinese history. reading it i was like. why don’t they talk about this. why don’t they talk about that. and that became the basis for my own zine, guaitai the strange and the queer which focused on queer chinese history and literature instead. different zine, same inspiration. 
all of my ideas suppose you have SOMETHING going on. what if you truly have nothing. my advice? adapted from my “how to write an essay” blog post, is to read a book. read an article. read something. and then post about it. and then turn your posts into a zine. don’t start entirely from scratch — give yourself a scaffolding. so first. read something and tell someone about it. i wasn’t lying about calling myself a consummate poster. it’s a big part of my thought process. 
second up, what if “i struggle to finish projects.” i’m no stranger to having a bunch of half finished half started projects lying around. but here are some zine-specific tips i have for addressing that.
FIRST! go smaller; go shittier. reduce the scope of your projects. make one pagers, lists. once when i was feeling stymied, i made a physical zine about movies i’d watched that month, just listing them with a couple bullet points on each film. i eventually turned it into a bigger digital zine where i listed movies i’d watched over the past several months with more thoughts on them, and nicely formatted. but that was something that came out of reducing my scope from “i need to write a manifesto on a movie i’ve watched recently” to “well i can just tell people about it” to “i can say two things about it.” and something actually got finished.
SECOND. your friends are a great tool for accountability. something i like to do is zine jams with my friends. nothing fancy, it’s just we’ll sit down for an hour and go we’re going to make something in this hour. or, for a bigger scope, we might work separately but commit to making a zine that weekend. it’s nice to have community and it’s nice to feel a little bit of a friendly deadline. i recommend this even if you DON’T have problems finishing zines. it’s a good time. 
THIRD. a lot of times if the words aren’t coming easily, it’s because i’m not trying to say the right thing. keep in mind that your zines don’t have to be “content.” this little paper zine i made about movies wasn’t made to share online; in fact, it’s not available online. i didn’t make it according to what other people would see or be interested in. you can and will burn out on making “marketable” content. corollary to this: sometimes what i have to say is something i DON’T want to share online. it might not be that it’s boring, it might be that it’s too personal. and i share a lot online, i write personal essays after all. but some projects i stall on because they’re really just for me, and i’m again, focused on making content. so this piece of advice is about rejecting the tyranny of the imaginary audience. 
and the next challenge is about embracing that audience! what if no one reads your zines, something that’s entirely possible. well there’s plenty you can do about that.
FIRST. cultivate zine community. read other people’s zines! talk to them about their zines! this greatly increases the chance that they will do the same for you. don’t go in expecting reciprocity; do it for its own sake, but it’s a great place to start. try asking people at zine fests if they’d be willing to trade with you, for instance. 
SECOND. write for yourself. it’s cheesy but it’s true. you really have to. if you’re not proud and happy with what you’re making on its own merits, what’s the point. now because this is a cop out tip, i’m not counting it as a tip on its own. 
so SECOND PART TWO. make your zines more accessible. if they’re not free, make them free—yes, you deserve to be compensated for your work, but it’s up to you to decide if you want a bigger audience first. if your zines aren’t short, make them shorter. make them short enough that you can post their entirety on social media or something else easy for your audience to consume. it’s a big ask sometimes to get someone to download your pdf! if they’re physical, hand them out to people you meet. remove all the barriers to entry.
THIRD. related to this, change medium. if you’re not making physical zines, try printing them out. if you’re not making digital zines, try digitizing them. both of these offer access to new audiences and new people who might be more interested in one form than another. 
i hope these thoughts encourage you to make a zine! if you do, please let me see it. i love reading zines. 
#x
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tybalt-you-saucy-boi · 5 months
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Let's talk about what Winner's Theory means for the next season of Life SMP, and what we could see depending on who wins Secret Life.
Disclaimer: I know this is just a theory and they don't actually base the new games off of the winners of the previous season, but that's the fun of theorizing.
Etho - Underselling himself, no longer the best at PVP, but with a long legacy of obliterating all competition in death games. Loyal to a fault to his team, with no expectations from them in return. A bit similar to how Scott plays in terms of his alliances, but more likely to be hostile towards others outside of his group. We could see another season similar to Double Life, with game-mechanic incentive to keep your teammates safe at all cost.
Cleo - Similar to Etho, but with a lot more arson. She's also loyal to her team, but if anyone crosses her they will be her biggest target, regardless of a previous alliance. You cannot betray Cleo without life altering consequences. You get one chance and then it's over. I would expect something that will be ruthless and unforgiving if you make the wrong move. Something that feels like stepping on eggshells.
Sidenote: Cleo is the only member of the Divorce Quartet without a win so far, and it would really tickle me if this was her season.
Joel - He's a leader, but also distant from his pack. Only one in his alliance to live outside their walls. First one on yellow. Started a cult. He's with them but he's also with himself. His game is vengeance, for Lizzie, for Jimmy, for Mumbo. His season will be brutal. It will start out brutal and it will end brutally. Players will be picking themselves up from the floor the minute they spawn in. Imagine a season where everyone starts in the Nether. That's Joel's revenge.
Bigb - You thought Cleo was gaslight? This man can pack some fire in his words. And what a season for it! His alliance is pretty much doomed, trying to pull themselves out of the wreckage, but he's got plans that go beyond Skizz and Tango. Right from the get-go with his first task he's marked as the odd one out. He gives out lies like they're candy, and not just for his own preservation, but for FUN. His winner's season will be built on chaos, not knowing where you stand among everyone else, and rewarded for tricking and betraying others. This will be the return of the Boogeyman.
Gem - Big risks, big rewards, bigger fury. The newest member of the series and defying all odds to earn her place in victory, in her season players will face challenges they've never seen before, but will be stronger beyond measure if they come out alive on the other end. Regardless of which life you're on, you'll have just as much chance of winning right up to the end, but the victor must be prepared to risk it all for their spot of glory. This will not be a season to shrink back from and make logical plans before acting. One must have quick feet.
Impulse - Almost the opposite of Gem, Impulse has taken his time, patience is his virtue. He's been so close to winning, but he'll know when the time is right to strike. He'll do whatever it takes, but it will be intentional and planned. I anticipate his season will be one with rough terrain, similar to the big rift in the middle of the Double Life map dividing everyone across a chasm. Reaching other players will be treacherous by foot, but ripe for planning elaborate traps and schemes to secure the win. Most certainly players will need to work hard for it.
Scar - Lone wolves roam free! He's been forced to work for himself alone this season, and so far he's reaped plenty rewards! The next season will give players a motive to work alone, and they will have to build themselves up using their own ingenuity and wits. Making yourself look like an underdog will be vital, stealing will be even more necessary, and the world will be ripe for monopolies. It's a real war out there, and you can't trust anyone.
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jellieland · 5 months
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This is somewhat inspired by some of the fics @theminecraftbee has written.
---
Two figures watch, from a nebulous nowhere, as Scar stands, alone, in the remains of his destroyed shop.
"I'm sorry," he says, mournfully, to no one.
"You Know," says the first figure, "I Really Wasn't Convinced When You Pitched This One."
Scar does not react. He cannot hear them.
"Yes," says the second, with an air of long-suffering patience. "I Do Know. You Were Very Vocal About It."
"...I really wanted to try and make some friends, this time." Scar, simultaneously right in front of them and a great distance away, sighs and looks up at the sky. "Oh, well. Nothing to be done about it now!"
"I Have Come Around To It," says the first.
"Good," says the second. "I Knew You Would."
They watch Scar start to sort through the mess.
"They Forget They Have A Choice," says the first. "It Is Fascinating."
They move on.
The move on to ash.
Skizz and Tango and Bigb stand right in the thick of it, quiet.
"You try to do one nice thing," says Skizz.
His hands curl into fists. He glares at the smoldering remains of the heart in front of him.
"You try to do ONE nice thing!" he yells, and punches one of the last remaining bits of wood.
Brittle from the fire, it breaks.
"Yeah, well! I guess this is why we don't," says Tango, resigned.
"It was always gonna happen eventually," says Bigb, voice level.
"They Always Try," says the first. "They Always Keep Trying."
"Yes," says the second. "They Chase Each Other In Circles Until All Of Them Are Dead. They Give Themselves Their Own Tasks."
"That Is Not What I Meant," says the first. "But That Is Also True."
They watch the three members of the Heart Foundation stand, for a while, in silence.
And they move on.
They move over to the mesa.
Martyn is standing inside his house, that used to be Jimmy's house too, facing the three chests on the wall labelled "TIMMY", "MUMBO" and "MARTYN".
He is talking animatedly, and gesturing. "-and I kept trying to get them to follow me there, but nobody was taking the bait. Honestly, you guys would've laughed at me. But it-"
They let the rambling fade into the background.
"A Good Dog," says the first.
"Yes," says the second. "He Does As He Is Told."
"-and I've honestly been feeling a bit left out today, isn't that funny? But- Bdubs said, he said he would join me next week, so-"
They move on.
They move to the cobblestone castle, in the side of the hill.
Grian is cooing over a small magma cube named Etho's Dishwasher.
Cleo and Etho are leaning against the staircase watching him.
"Are you both alright?" asks Cleo.
"Sure, I'm fine," says Etho.
"Me?" says Grian, turning around. "Oh, I'm good, I was being a total coward. I just hung around at the top of that tower by the Secret Keeper for ages and none of them ever thought to look up."
"Really?" asks Cleo, amused. "Some of them I would expect that of, but I'd think Gem would be a bit more on the ball."
"Well, apparently not," says Grian.
He turns back to the magma cube, and they settle into quiet.
"I Would Have Expected More Of The Alliances To Have Fallen Apart, By Now," says the first.
"Loyalty Is At Its Most Interesting When It Is Stretched," says the second. "These Three Know It Will Never Last. They Know That All Of Them Are Aware Of This. That Is Why They Are Still Here. They Know How Much They Can Care Without It Being A Lie. And Then Privately, They Care More Than That Anyway."
Eventually, Etho sighs. He looks tired.
He glances from Cleo, to Grian, and back, and after a moment of hesitation, speaks. "I, uh. I'm glad you two survived." He shifts awkwardly, and continues before they can respond. "I thought they were going to try and make me kill you, at one point, and- Grian, I don't know if you know this, but Cleo is scary when she's getting revenge. I did not want to have to worry about that."
Cleo laughs, slightly, and gives Etho a look of the deepest affection. "Well, I did die, is the thing, so thanks for reminding me of that."
"No, no, you knew what I meant! See, Grian? See what it's like?"
"Uh huh," says Grian, raising an eyebrow. "Well, thanks for not killing us."
Cleo frowns at him, suddenly curious. "Grian?" they ask. "Are you the only one who didn't die today?"
Grian opens his mouth, then stops to consider it.
"Or- no, wait. Martyn." says Cleo. "Well. Well done either way."
They watch the trio for a little longer, and then they move on.
They move to Scott.
He is alone, in a forest somewhere.
He is leant up against a cliff face, staring down at the floor.
"None Of Them Even Died, This Time," says the first. "Not Permanently."
"No," says the second. "It Was Controlled. Directed. There To Even The Playing Field. We Can Just Ask Them To Do That, Now, And They Will."
Scott draws his knees up to his chest, and rests his head on his arms.
He doesn't move, or shout, or cry.
He just stays there, quiet.
Eventually, they move on.
They move to the Secret Keeper.
Gem is standing there.
She is looking at it.
"If She Had Decided To Fail At The Start," says the first, "She Most Likely Would Have Lived. She Lost So Much More, Taking Things From Other People, Than The Nothing She Would Have Lost In Failure."
"Yes," says the second. "That Is My Favourite Part."
They watch her.
"Anyway," says the second, "She Would Not Do That."
"She Wouldn't?" asks the first.
"No," says the second. "She Understands Why It Is My Favourite Part."
Gem smiles.
"Thank you!" she says to the Secret Keeper. "That was a lot of fun!"
"You Are Welcome," says the second.
Blood on her hands, Gem turns and leaves, grin as bright as the sun.
They watch her go.
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svtdarlingbby · 3 months
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"He's just a fuck-boy-frat-bro" Fratboy!Bang Chan x fem!Reader
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pairing: Frat boy! Bang Chan x fem!Reader; featuring stray kids, '97 liners in Kpop, TXT genre: college au - enemies to lovers - slight angst but mostly fun! warnings: cursing, mentions of alcohol, reader is kinda mean but so is Chan, one mention of blood, slightly suggestive word count: 8904
Y/N's POV
Whoever declared the false dichotomy that studying English was “easy” did not know the amount of work that went into it. Sure, writing has always been one of my favorite hobbies, but perhaps analyzing the arguments that came into play when it comes to creating effective writing is where my passion lies. 
“You know, it would be more effective if you cut out some of the background information. No one wants to read all of that.”
Speaking of arguments.
“Chan, can you just shut the fuck up and finish the peer review?” I rolled my eyes. Workshop days were usually pretty helpful especially since I tend to procrastinate while being a perfectionist about my writing. However, the professor just had to assign us pairs today and of course, she paired me with Christopher Bahng. Or as he liked to call himself, Bang Chan. Maybe I’m exaggerating, but he’s such a fuck boy. He’s a part of some frat, a string of Greek letters I don’t care to remember. He’s always out partying too with his group of friends. They were so loud when I had the displeasure of meeting them when they sat near me at the library during undergrad as I was trying to write a paper. Let’s just say that I didn’t stay in that area for too long. To put it simply, I did not like Chan, nor did he like me. 
“I’m just saying” he began in a sing-songy voice, “Can’t you just assume your audience understands the background context?” 
He knew how to get on my nerves. “First of all Chan, yes. You’re right. The audience is academic so they probably know what I’m talking about,” I began as he smirked. “However, I only included that much background info to strengthen my credibility. That’s called appealing to ethos. Remember that?”
Chan rolled his eyes as the smirk that was plastered on his chiseled face vanished, “Yeah, whatever,” he groaned as he started to read the rest of my paper. 
I suppressed my laughter and looked back at my laptop screen, which displayed the work Chan had for peer review day. As expected, he came in with only an outline for his paper. Probably couldn’t get anything down because he was out with the boys, I thought as I began to scan his outline.
I hate to admit it, but as I read further through Chan’s outline, the more I began to see his vision. He was researching the shift in attitude toward mental health in the 21st century and the language behind that, and honestly, it was a great idea for his thesis. The thing about Chan is that he is intelligent. Despite his annoying attitude and lifestyle, he knows how to write a pretty damn good paper about something he’s passionate about. Maybe that’s why he also found himself in grad school for English with me. I was hoping that he’d go to another university after undergrad, but like me, he stayed for grad school. Just my luck. It didn’t help that we were one of the few students who stayed at our school for grad school with the rest of the cohort coming from other universities. Essentially, I was the only person he was familiar with so Chan always found his way to sit near or even next to me in all four classes we shared. Even during our training sessions, he found his way near me. I just couldn’t get rid of this guy, but at least I can get somewhat authentic writing advice from him.
“Hey Y/N,” said Chan, a suspicious smile growing on his face.
“What?” I said, trying to keep my eyes on my laptop.
“You forgot a comma here,” he said and began to giggle.
I swear if my eyes weren’t permanently rolled into the back of my head by now. “Ha-ha, very funny Chan. Ever take a look at Bean’s hierarchy like we did in training?”
“Yeah, that’s the joke. Or was that too advanced for someone as uptight as you?” he retorted, the smirk back on his face. 
“Uptight? I can take a joke,” I said, trying to sound confident. 
“Yes, you’re uptight. I’ve never seen you at a party before. You should come with me this weekend,” he said, trying to act suave.
“Now why would I want to go to a party with you?” I said, fully looking Chan into his eyes. 
“Everyone in this room knows that you have an ass, why not put it to good use?” he spoke lowly and smirked, not breaking the eye contact as I began to feel myself blush. 
“What is fucking wrong with you?” I said, trying to sound angry but it came out more flustered and whiny. I won’t admit it to Chan but wow, does my ass look that good?
“I’m just kidding, we all know I’ve got more ass than you,” he laughed as he went back to reading my paper. 
“You know damn well that’s a lie,” I blurted out, still staring at him rather than my laptop.
“Oh? Would you like to prove it to me?” replied Chan, almost a little too quickly. He seemed almost taken aback by how quickly he responded yet still smirked. 
“I-” Before I could respond, I was interrupted by a notification from my phone. It was a text from my friend Rosé, who swears Chan and I are soulmates because she thinks we are so similar. Thankfully Chan notices me get distracted by my phone and uses that as an excuse to drop his absurd question and continue reading my paper. I couldn’t wait to tell Rosé about what Chan just said.
Rosé: ok i know we’re both not into frat parties and stuff but Jaehyun is being dragged to that frat party on saturday by jungkook and mingyu and he wants me to come. You don’t have to but do you think you could come with me?
Oh god, she had to be referring to the party Chan mentioned earlier. I thought about it. The worst thing that could happen is Jaehyun getting caught up with his friends and losing Rosé, which I doubt. Jaehyun was truly a gentleman and he was also a part of the English program with Rosé and me. He wouldn’t do that to her. But at the same time, these frat parties were unpredictable and what kind of friend would I be to leave my friend in that kind of situation? 
Y/N: yeah i heard about that party. Don’t worry, I’ll come with. But you’re promising me that we are avoiding frat guys especially Chan
Rosé: of course! We’ll just stay with Jaehyun who would prob want to leave early anyway.  
Rosé: but
Rosé: it’ll be hard to avoid frat guys especially Chan with your ass 🤭
Rosé: and his ass honestly. You guys are both hot so…
Y/N: Rosé i swear I’m not going to the party now
Rosé: NO i was jk. But fr ur hot
Y/N: thank you 😇send me the details of the party when you get them. Also what you’re gonna be wearing!
Y/N: OMG speaking of, guess what Chan said
Rosé: omg what
Y/N: he was trying to invite me to the party actually and he said something about me having an ass yet his was still bigger and so I called him out on that statement and he basically asked me to prove to him that my ass was fatter 🤢
Rosé: HELP OMG now why would he say that 😭
Y/N: cuz he’s a typical fuck boi
I put my phone down because I suddenly remembered I had to finish up Chan’s peer review. Just as I was about to focus my attention back to my laptop, Chan’s annoying voice spoke up.
“Who were you texting?” he asked, so nosy. 
“None of your business,” I responded, still looking at my screen.
“Is it a guy?” he asked, before looking up. “I saw the way you were smiling.”
“Oh my god, it was just Rosé. Why are you so concerned?” I snapped, regaining eye contact with Chan who smirked once again. 
Chan’s POV:
My plan is working, thank god Rosé’s dragging Y/N along to that party. God, she’s so fucking hot when she’s mad, especially at me. She’s so funny, all of my friends, her friends, and even everyone in our cohort know that she finds me attractive yet chooses to hate me. It’s crazy, she’s the smartest girl I know but she’s so stupid, denying her feelings. I just pretend to hate her to keep the game going, and it’s been going on since like freshman year. I feel like if she truly hated me, she probably would’ve reported me or something. Not that I’d do anything creepy, no, I have boundaries. I just love to mess with her. And perhaps I might also love her. 
I don’t know why I ever admitted that. The boys made fun of me so much. 
“Wait, I know you love to mess with her, but you think you love her?” laughed Changbin among the boys. 
“Well, I-” I stammered, before being interrupted. 
“Bro, how? She hates your guts!” laughed Jeongin.
“Okay but-”
“I don’t think Y/N hates him. She would’ve blocked and maybe gotten his ass kicked out of here by now if she truly hated him,” said Minho, a matter of factly. 
“And even though neither of them would admit it, they seem like friends. I mean, they’ve had classes together for five years now. And I’ve seen Y/N willingly sit next to Chan all the time. They’ve even had lunch together a few times! If she hated him, she would’ve moved seats and ignored him all these years,” added Felix optimistically. 
“Oh my god, are you saying Y/N probably loves Chan?” asked Seungmin, wide-eyed. 
“YES! I’ve known it all these years. I’ve seen the way she looks at you, all that tension from denying her true feelings. This confused girl loves you!” mused Jisung. 
“Yeah, honestly, if she wasn’t in the grad program, I might not have pursued grad school. If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is,” I admitted, feeling flustered in front of the guys. 
“Okay, so how are you going to tell her?” interrogated Jisung. Of course, he wants me to do something about it. 
“I really don’t know. I never really planned on it honestly,” I revealed, earning a few dramatic gasps from my friends. 
“How about at the party on Saturday?” asked Hyunjin.
“No, she hates frat parties. But I’ve also heard from Rosé that Y/N can party so I don’t know,” I answered, feeling almost hopeless. 
“Wait, Chan,” began Minho, a smirk arising on his features, “What if we make Y/N go to that party?”
“Dude, no. As much as I like messing with her, I won’t force her to go somewhere she’s uncomfortable,” I replied somewhat urgently. 
“No, not like that. You know Rosé, right? Those two are like best friends. She’s dating Jaehyun, right? He’s in the frat and I know his buddies Jungkook and Mingyu are going to drag his ass there,” explained Minho. “So how about we use Rosé to bring Y/N to the party?”
“Damn Minho, why do you have this elaborate plan?” chuckled Hyunjin.
“I still haven’t gotten back at her for that one time she went out with Jisung,” spoke Minho lowly, “If this plan doesn’t work, at least she gets to see me all up on Jisung.”
“Whoa calm down Minho, it was one date remember? Before we were a thing? I ghosted her after that!” laughed Jisung. 
God, I remember that. I was so angry when I found out Jisung’s Bumble date all those years ago was Y/N. Granted, that was freshman year, but still! I shouldn’t be jealous, but Jisung’s one of my bros even though he has clearly moved on. I’m sure Y/N has moved on, God, I hope so. 
“Anyways,” I began, “What exactly is going to happen at the party once she’s there?”
“OH! Rosé should totally abandon her! And then you can swoop in and not act like a pretentious asshole for once!” chirped Hyunjin. “And you’ll be surrounded by all the frat guys, who are going to be acting like that and maybe she’ll see that you’re different than the rest!”
The room erupted in agreement from the guys and I began to feel myself warm up to their elaborate plan. “You know what, I think you guys are onto something,” I nodded in agreement as the guys cheered. “I’m going to text Rosé, I know she’d love to set her bestie up.”
Chan: Sup Rosé
Rosé; oh god what do you want
Chan: ok I’m being fr rn. But I have feelings for Y/N
Rosé: that’s the big news? 😭come on, we all knew that. 
Rosé: I mean, everyone but Y/N she thinks she hates you but we all know that’s a lie
Chan: wait-
Chan: what do you mean???
Rosé: oh um
Rosé: Y/N is literally going to murder me but
Rosé: at our last girls party, I don’t know what she was on but she admitted that she finds you hot 😭
Wait. What. Y/N thinks I’m hot? Oh my god!
“GUYS Y/N THINKS I’M HOT!” I blurted out to the guys who all cheered in response.
“YES CHAN’S GONNA GET IT!” screamed Changbin as he smacked my back rather harshly. 
“OUCH!”
“Sorry bro, the gains, you know?”
I ended up telling Rosé the plan and surprisingly she agreed on the condition that nothing bad happens to Y/N and that she won’t stop her from leaving if she gets uncomfortable. Okay, fair. And I know Y/N. She’s super loyal to her friends so she’ll be at that party either way. God, I’m so excited but nervous. She’s going to look so hot too, I wonder what she looks like outside of her school clothes. 
Y/N’s POV
Thank god class was almost over, but why was Chan so concerned with who I was texting? I brushed him off and finished peer-reviewing his outline. Surprisingly, I left a lot of positive feedback but made sure to sneak in some snarky comments. And I corrected his grammar just to be petty. How are you in grad school but can’t differentiate between a dependent and independent clause? 
“Here, damn,” I groaned as I hit send on the email where the peer-review was attached. 
“Aw, you liked my outline!” rejoiced Chan in that annoying voice of his as he opened the attachment. 
“You should be lucky that you’re receiving my feedback. I’m the only one here that would tell you that you suck to your face,” I said as I began to pack up my laptop into my bag. 
“Well honey, from the looks of it, you found a lot more positive things about my outline than negative,” laughed Chan. 
“Whatever,” I groaned, “Have you even finished peer-reviewing my draft by the way?”
“Almost done, I’ll send it to you in a bit,” he said as he started typing once again. 
“Thanks, I guess,” I muttered as I left the classroom. 
What I didn’t know was that my half-hearted “thanks” caused Chan’s heart to skip a beat. 
The day of the frat party came by faster than expected. Honestly, this whole week was a whirlwind. Thanks to Chan’s surprisingly helpful feedback, I was able to finish the essay before the weekend. I usually don’t drink, but, even being around alcohol can get hungover somehow and I wasn’t going to let a stupid frat party be the demise of my grade. Plus, I had to drive back home. 
Usually, I partied with my close friends and attended quite a few parties during my college career. I wonder how it’s going to be to go to a “real” college party, especially as a grad student no less. Maybe Chan was right. Maybe I am uptight. Whatever. I know his dumbass is going to be at that party. I might as well show him what “uptight” is. 
With that, I had a fun time choosing my outfit! I’ll admit, it was kinda low-cut. Okay, it was really low-cut but it flattered my good in every way. I haven’t worn it in a while but the black blouse was flirty and fun, with the dotted fabric of the arms sheer and the cropped nature of the shirt sitting right at my waist. I’d pair it with some nice jeans that flattered me. The outfit was far from uptight. And I could tell it would be a real crowd-pleaser based on Rosé’s enthusiastic reaction.
Rosé: WAIT DAMNNN OKAY
Rosé: CAN CHAN FIGHT????
Y/N: LMAO thanks but prob not!! 
Y/N: I’d rather be all yours anyways 🙄
Rosé: awww
Rosé: I wonder if Chan’s fave color is black 🤭
Y/N: OH GOD why would you say that 😭 i hope not 🤢
Rosé: LMAO I’m kidding lol butttt he is gonna see you like that just saying
Y/N: okay and? Not my problem
Rosé: yeah sureeee anyways are you almost at my apartment so we could head on over?
Y/N: Yeah, just found a parking spot. Heading over!
Flipping my hair out of my face, I headed toward Rosé’s apartment. Honestly, I was feeling kind of nervous going to this party. What if something bad happens? 
Outside the apartment building, I saw none other than Rosé accompanied by her boyfriend Jaehyun. Ugh, they looked perfect together, hand in hand and conversing about something they both could only hear. Until I interrupted.
“Rosé!” I yelled, quickening my pace.
“Y/N! You’re here!” she exclaimed, letting go of Jaehyun’s hand as we hugged each other and flooded one another with compliments of how we looked. 
“Damn Rosé, that ass of yours in those jeans?” I swooned, fanning myself. 
“Ahem.”
“Oh! Hey Jaehyun!” I exclaimed, caught off guard by Rosé’s quiet boyfriend.
“Hey Y/N!” he laughed as Rosé joined him, presumably at my flustered state.
“Listen! I wasn’t trying to take Rosé away from you! I would never!” I tried to explain, “Even though she was my friend first,” I mumbled that last part under my breath.
“It’s all good! Should we head over now?” asked Rosé as we began to walk toward the frat houses. 
The walk over to the frat house was longer than we thought it would be, but thankfully we all wore sneakers. The chill of the fall air blew as Jaehyun draped his sweater over Rosé’s shoulders. God, they were so cute. I can’t believe someone like Jaehyun was technically a frat dude. Come to think of it, Rosé was also in a sorority. I’m sure they knew their way around these parties. 
We opened the door just to be met with some frat bro who I quickly recognized as one of Chan’s friends. 
“Sup Jaehyun, I see you’re in ratio” he smirked as he let us in.
“Thanks, Hyunjin” laughed Jaehyun as he fist-bumped his brother as Rosé and I followed him inside. 
“Ratio?” I asked, perplexed. 
“Oh some frats have this thing where a guy should bring two girls with him to be let into a party,” Rosé explained as I quickly understood despite an even more confused expression gracing my features. I chose not to dwell on it as I took in my surroundings. Of course, red solo cups are in the hands of every attendee. Some of Chan’s friends were setting up some music. Sports were playing on the flatscreen TV. So far, so good.
“Hey, Jaehyun!” yelled Jungkook, who seemingly popped out of nowhere.
“Jaehyun!” yelled Mingyu, following behind the older one. God, Kim Mingyu and Jeon Jungkook. I’ve always thought they were so hot; I couldn’t help but feel a little shy as I scooted closer to Rosé.
Jaehyun greeted his friends as they all clapped hands, hugged each other, and made small talk. I felt kind of awkward just watching them honestly, so I turned to Rosé.
“I’m not drinking tonight, but did you wanna get a drink?” I asked.
“Sure, why not? Oh my god you know what I just realized?” she said, eyes brightening.
“What?” I asked, ever amused by her.
“You might actually see me drunk in person instead of over text!” she laughed.
“Wait, oh my gosh that’s so true!” I exclaimed with excitement as she grabbed a drink, making our way back to Jaehyun and his handsome friends. 
“Oh there you are,” said Jaehyun as he turned around, his eyes lighting up when he saw his girlfriend. 
Before any of us could respond, the house suddenly boomed with music and a certain boisterous voice made himself apparent.
“HELLO ABΩ! IT’S YOUR BOY BANG CHAN HERE!” 
Oh no. I expected him to be here but outside of school, he’s going to be ten times more annoying. I sighed and rolled my eyes as I sipped on some water. 
“The party is just getting started, my boy Jeongin made this fire playlist. Let loose, enjoy yourself, and remember, tag me and follow me on Instagram @gnabnahc!” he smiled into the microphone. All the frat guys began to cheer, encouraging him. I exhaled, just staring at how ridiculous Chan looked, with his white tee shirt, fitted so perfectly against his sculpted muscles. And his black jeans, emphasizing that dumptruck of his. Of course, he was wearing a cap too.   “Let’s have a great night! And-” Suddenly he stopped, creating an awkward silence despite the booming music. 
And then I realized. He was staring right into my eyes. I blinked a few times before looking away, feeling Rosé nudge me as she stifled a laugh. 
“I lost my train of thought!” Chan laughed, shifting the mood back to the energetic one he had created mere seconds before. “Anyways play some beer pong, dance, have fun!” And once again, all of the frat bros cheered as the party began.
I still felt flustered and annoyed, but also powerful at the same time. Did me just standing there make the cocky and confident Bang Chan flustered to the point of freezing up in front of the boys at a party no less? I smirked, though my cheeks still felt warm as I saw Changbin laughing and smacking Chan’s shoulder. 
“Y/N! Did you hear me? Or were you too busy staring back at Chan?” smirked Rosé as she waved her hand in front of my face. 
“Wait what?” I blinked as she and Jaehyun began to laugh. 
“I was saying you and Chan had a little moment right there! Locking eyes, the world disappearing around you two?” laughed Rosé.
“Very Jane Austen” added Jaehyun in agreement.
“Jane Austen would never write about a frat guy at a frat party no less,” I scoffed, crossing my arms as the couple in front of me shared knowing glances. 
Chan’s POV
I will never hear the end of this. Changbin is still smacking my shoulder with his sheer strength and keeps laughing at how I got distracted. 
“Oh my god, my abs. I’m not gonna have to train them anymore because of you!” laughed Changbin.
“Will you quit?” I rolled my eyes at his antics. “Very funny, I got distracted.”
“It’s not even that you got distracted! It’s who made you distracted! Tell me, what was it about Y/N that made you practically drool in front of everyone? Was it her hair? Maybe her eyes? Or was it her tits- OW!” 
“Not now Changbin,” I muttered after I smacked him. God, I need a beer. I left Changbin behind to find Minho handling the drinks. 
“We all saw that, dude,” said Minho somewhat apologetically as he handed me a drink. 
“Yeah, whatever,” I said, drinking from the cup rather quickly.
“So, the plan?” asked Minho expectantly. 
Right. The elaborate plan of the night. Initially, it seemed easy enough but I didn’t realize just how flustered by Y/N I would be. God, how does she get hotter every time I see her? 
“I was gonna wait a little later into the night to tell Rosé to abandon Y/N,” I explained to Minho who nodded. 
“Why don’t you go ahead and break the ice with Y/N? I think you acknowledging her early on will show her you have some decency,” suggested Minho. 
“That’s not a bad idea,” I replied as I glanced over at Y/N across the crowd before making my way toward her. 
Y/N’s POV:
Rosé was too busy talking to Jaehyun as I took in my surroundings once again. The party was beginning to get lively with more people dancing, especially Hyunjin, who was already surrounded by several guys and girls alike. Dancing would be fun honestly, but it would be awkward going up there and not knowing anyone. Just as I took my eyes off the dance floor, I met the gaze of none other than Chan. 
“Oh god, what do you want,” I muttered unenthusiastically as he walked toward me. 
“So, you made it? I knew you weren’t as uptight as you let on,” smirked Chan as he leaned against the wall, drink in hand.
“Don’t you have a paper to write?” I asked, trying not to take in how attractive he looked at that moment. Maybe all that alcohol around me was starting to intoxicate me somehow. He never looks good.
“Well someone provided me with some extra good feedback on my outline the other day,” he began, smiling, “Let’s just say that was an easy paper to write.”
I scoffed, “No way you wrote twenty-five pages in two days, weekdays no less.”
“Oh, but I did. I know you think I’m just a typical frat bro but I do care about the mental health movement,” he said, cocking an eyebrow up as his gaze bore into my soul. 
“Whatever,” I said, breaking eye contact and feeling a bit flustered. 
“Anyways,” began Chan, “It’s nice seeing you here. Nice to see you outside of class, I mean,” he stumbled as his eyes scanned my outfit. 
It was my turn to make him flustered. “Are you talking about me, or my tits?” I smirked, standing up straighter as he shuffled. 
“Well, I-” he began, before regaining his composure, “I expected to see your ass, not your tits today.”
“CHAN!” I yelled as he laughed, “Well, at least mine are bigger than yours!”
“That I can agree with,” Chan laughed, causing me to chuckle and playfully smack his arm. 
“We can finally agree on something,” I admitted as I playfully rolled my eyes and he nodded in response. 
“I’d say we’re finally on the same level of debate,” Chan winked as he referenced our TA curriculum. 
“Yeah, I would say that we passed conjecture so we’re definitely on definition right now,” I said as I dramatically furrowed my brows, pretending to be a teacher. 
“God, I’m so glad we’re actually applying what we’ve learned to the real world!” Chan exclaimed, dramatically opening his arms and gesturing to the “real world” that was the frat party before him. I hate to admit it, but Chan was actually funny. He knew how to appeal to my sense of humor. As hard as grad school is, these little jokes make me feel like I’m not alone. As we were laughing, I could just feel the stares of several people burning through the bubble Chan and I created. He could feel it too. In the corner of my eye, I could see Rosé giggling at us. Oh god, she probably took some pictures too. I also felt the knowing stares of Chan’s friends, even Hyunjin who was surrounded by guys and girls had his gaze fixated on Chan and me. Also, did I see Jisung, that one guy I had that awkward date with freshman year, stop making out with Chan’s other friend Minho just for them to look in our direction? What was going on?
Chan’s POV
I’m glad Y/N is warming up to me, she’s honestly not uptight at all! As awkward as my first glance, well, stare, at her today was, I’m so glad she didn’t bring that up. Speaking of staring, what is wrong with me? She saw me staring at her tits god I want to die. I mean, she didn’t murder me! That’s a good sign, right? As fun and lighthearted as our conversation was, how come the guys and Rosé had to be so fucking obvious? I thought this plan was supposed to be low-key, not “everyone-stare-at-Chan-to-see-if-he-finally-asks-Y/N-out.” I think Y/N is catching on, I mean, I practically feel everyone’s staring at us. I need to find a distraction, quickly. 
“Ahem” I cleared my throat, “Do you want another drink?” 
“Oh, um, yeah sure,” she replied as I snapped her out of her thoughts as we made our way to the drink table. 
I don’t know why I was reacting so quickly but as Y/N reached for a water bottle, something in me told me to grab it for her. It wasn’t until our hands met on the same water bottle that I snapped out of my actions.
“Oh-”
“Sorry!”
“Here, I’ll grab it for you,” I said, handing her the water bottle.
“Thanks,” she replied, looking down. Oh god, am I screwing this up? Did I make it awkward? From the corner of my eye, Felix gave me an apologetic smile as I wearily shook my head. I had to fix this. 
“So, you’re not drinking tonight?” I asked, breaking the ice. 
“Nope. I’ve gotta drive home but being drunk would be fun,” chuckled Y/N before taking a sip. “Yeah? How’s ‘drunk’ Y/N?” I asked using air quotations.
“I don’t remember,” laughed Y/N, “The videos I’ve seen of me in that state are hilarious though. I get cocky, witty, and flirty, so kind of like you on a regular basis. So yeah, I turn into a fuck boy.”
“That does sound like me,” I chuckled as we sat down on the couch. “We’re pretty similar, don’t you think?”
Y/N grimaced. “Rosé thinks so.”
“Oh yeah?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 
“Yeah, and it’s so far from the truth!” she exclaimed dramatically, “Rosé, come here!” she yelled over the couch for her friend. Ugh. Just when I thought I could get her alone without Rosé having to completely abandon her friend. 
“Yes?” asked Rosé, another drink in hand.
“Come on, sit down and tell Chan about your delusions. About how you think we’re the same person,” said Y/N who scooted away from me, gesturing for Rosé to sit between her and me. I swear if Rosé cockblocks me…
Fortunately for me, Rosé takes a seat on Y/N’s other side. “You two are so similar oh my god, Chan you don’t even know the full extent,” giggled Rosé as she leaned into Y/N. Ugh. That should be me. 
“Yeah? How are we so similar?” I said glancing between the two women expectedly. 
“You both are studying English!,” laughed Rosé.
“Oh yeah, I didn’t know that!” scoffed Y/N sarcastically as I chuckled.
“Oh, oh! Your zodiac signs are compatible!” Rosé smirked as she raised her eyebrows. 
“Oh yeah, you’re a Libra right? October 3rd?” asked Y/N expectantly and I nodded. She knows my birthday?! I don’t know why my heart began to race at this fact. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every zodiac sign is compatible with Libra lol!)
“Oh- and don’t forget, your MBTIs are super compatible too!” exclaimed Rosé.
“I’m an ENFJ, what are you?” I asked as Y/N looked away and replied (your MBTI). Oh my gosh, ENFJ and (your MBTI) are like, supposed to be soulmates. (A/N- guys for the sake of the story let’s pretend every MBTI is compatible with ENFJ lol)
“Oh- and also! Remember the blood drive for the frats and sororities? You’re type O Chan!” chimed Rosé.
“How did you remember that?” I chuckled looking between the clearly intoxicated Rosé and Y/N. 
“I’ll let Y/N explain that one!” exclaimed Rosé as she darted her eyes between Y/N and I. 
“Ugh, unfortunately, that means your blood type can be accepted by any other blood type, Chan. So your blood would be accepted by mine,” gagged Y/N, “I’d rather die at that point,” she deadpanned, causing both Rosé and I to laugh. 
“Really? You’d rather die than receive my thick, juicy, red blood from these veins?” I asked, making a fist so the veins on my arms would appear. Y/N bit her lip and exhaled as Rosé laughed even harder. 
“Yeah Y/N, I thought you had an arm kink?” blurted out Rosé, who was probably drunk by now.
“Rosé!” yelled Y/N, getting more flustered and looking away from me. I only laughed harder and felt my ego rise exponentially. She’s an arm girl? Noted. I’ll have to wear tank tops more often. 
“Like what you see?” I whispered to Y/N, flexing my biceps. She didn’t respond, but I saw the way her eyes lingered. 
“Yeah Y/N! You should feel his muscles” laughed Rosé as she grabbed Y/N’s hand suddenly and placed it on top of my bicep
“Rosé!” yelled Y/N as her hand retracted quickly from my bicep. God, if only she knew how flustered I was feeling right now. Before I knew it, I blurted out “I don’t bite. Go for it.” 
“Oh, um. Okay,” replied Y/N as she leaned over and felt my muscles. I tried not to act flustered as she leaned toward me, that blouse of her’s making it hard to focus on her hand on my arm. I swear her skin on mine was something I had been craving for years. “Neat,” she said, retracting her arm but I could see the redness gathering on her cheeks. 
“Whoa, save some room for Jesus!” blurted out a boy with long, dark brown hair. Behind him was a taller boy who looked somewhat flustered.
“Beomgyu? Soobin? What are you guys doing here?” Y/N’s eyes lit up instantly at the sight of them. I could feel my blood begin to boil but I had to maintain my composure. I can’t let something like jealousy ruin the plan. 
“You guys aren’t even in this frat!” laughed Rosé, causing the two guys to chuckle. 
“Yeah and? We’re here for a good time, right Soob?” laughed Beomgyu as he smacked Soobin in the chest.
“Oh- Uh, yeah! How are you, Y/N?” asked Soobin shyly. Why was he asking about her specifically? I kept my mouth shut as I glanced at Y/N, who looked somewhat flustered herself. 
“I didn’t think I’d be here but this one dragged me here,” explained Y/N as she glanced over at Rosé. 
“Okay and? You’re having a good time?” stated Rosé like it was the most obvious thing. 
Everyone chuckled but me, but I tried to play it cool and forced myself to smile at their small talk. Ugh, I just wish these cockblockers would go away!
“Oh my god, they’re playing Rodeo! Soobin, you like that song don’t you?” boomed Beomgyu as he gestured toward Soobin. “Let’s get up there!” he exclaimed as he gestured toward Y/N and pulled her from the couch.
“Wait this song is so funny!” laughed Y/N as she enthusiastically made her way to the dance floor with Soobin and Beomgyu. 
And just like that, my jaw was on the floor. How did these two random guys, who aren’t even in my frat by the way, just snatch Y/N away from me like that? 
“Ouch,” muttered Rosé as I stared at the dance floor in disbelief. 
“Bro did that just actually happen?” I heard Seungmin say as he took Y/N’s vacant spot.
“Man, I’m sorry,” I heard Felix’s deep voice behind the couch as he leaned over to pat my shoulder comfortingly. 
“How- She just- I just-” I stammered, still in disbelief at what just happened. 
“So um, Beomgyu and Soobin know Y/N from biology class during undergrad,” explained Rosé, trying to help me make sense of this. “Soobin was her lab partner.” Honestly, that didn’t really help as I just sighed in response. To be honest, I knew getting Y/N wasn’t going to be this easy. If I have competition, so be it. 
“Give me a minute,” I muttered as I stood up to get another drink. I felt their apologetic stares burn into my back as I made my way to the drinks. I glanced at the dance floor, and of course, Y/N was having the time of her life. God, she looked so hot dancing. Putting that ass to good use like I had said earlier. Just as I was about to look away, an unsightly scene unfolded before me on the dance floor. Why were Soobin and Y/N practically grinding on one another like that? My blood was already boiling, but now it was evaporated by how angry and jealous I felt. I know my face showed that as I made eye contact with Y/N as she smirked. 
Y/N’s POV
Ah Soobin, my old lab partner. My old crush. It didn’t end up working out between us back in undergrad, Soobin claiming that while he did like me, he just couldn’t devote enough time to a relationship. He was a part of many biology related clubs and even president of one. He also had a job on top of all that. Honestly, that was understandable and I quickly moved past those feelings. However, for Soobin I could definitely tell those feelings never went away. Maybe it’s a good thing Soobin studied biology; he couldn’t analyze situations like I could. Let’s face it, Chan was being extra good and not annoying today. That’s really suspicious, and frankly, I don’t know how to react to his good behavior. Admittedly, yes, I was flustered by our interactions throughout today. But he’s just a fuck boy frat bro. He’s always going to be flirting around, probably in hopes of getting laid. I don’t want to be just another one of those girls he fucks for the sake of it. I thought he knew that by now that I’m not into hookup culture. When Beomgyu and Soobin appeared, it was a perfect opportunity to test out my hypothesis: if Bang Chan wasn’t attracted to me like that, then he’d have no problem seeing me dance with another guy. I also just wanted to dance really badly. 
Also, “Rodeo” by Lah Pat and Flo Milli? The song used in every fuck boy thirst trap and slutty TikTok edits? How could I pass the opportunity to not make Chan jealous with such an explicit song about fucking?
“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang, eyeing Soobin while swaying my hips as some girls hyped me up on the dance floor. 
“Go Y/N!” cheered Beomgyu as he pulled out some smooth moves. 
It seemed like Soobin was getting out of his shell as he suddenly busted out some killer dance moves, slowly closing the distance between us. “Like a rodeo babe!” he winked. I forgot how fun it was to dance, especially with such a supportive crowd. I wonder if someone was watching. I could practically feel Soobin’s warmth behind me as we danced when I locked eyes with Chan who was heading toward the drinks. I could tell he was fuming as his gaze bore into mine. 
“I wanna feel your body on top of mine!” I sang again, trying to be as seductive as possible in the way I moved, never breaking eye contact with Chan. I don’t know where this surge of confidence came from, but god I felt powerful. Maybe this is how Chan usually feels.
Chan blinked back, seemingly flustered and even angry as he looked away and got another drink. He walked out of the front door dejectedly. I laughed as Beomgyu shot me a confused glance but I just waved him off as he continued dancing. As I was dancing with Soobin though, I began to feel guilty. Why the hell did I feel bad for Chan? He didn’t own me, in fact, he always went out of his way to make me angry and annoyed. Okay, he never went this far but still. And I practically just used Soobin to make Chan jealous knowing that Soobin still probably had feelings for me. I’ve always chided Chan for being a fuck boy, but here I was playing with his feelings and even bringing another guy into this mess by using him. Maybe I’m the fuck boy. 
The next song began to play, and I knew I needed to make things right before they got worse. 
“Hey, Soobin?” I asked over the blaring music as I gestured for him to follow me away from the dance floor.
“Yes, Y/N?” replied Soobin as he leaned down to my height so he could hear me. 
“Thank you for the dance, but sorry. I didn’t mean to get all up on you. I don’t want to lead you on, because I’ve moved on since undergrad. I should’ve considered your feelings before I did that, I’m sorry,” I rambled my apology, not really knowing what to say and hoping the damage wasn’t already done. 
“Oh,” paused Soobin as he looked down, “It’s okay, I just… I just wish I hadn’t been a coward and made excuses back then.”
“What are you talking about Soobin?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 
“Well, you clearly moved on. I always see you with Chan especially since you started grad school. Even at this party, you were with him when I walked in. Beomgyu just tried to convince me to take a chance and try to get you back, but I can see I missed my chance,” smiled Soobin wistfully. “I could tell you were trying to make Chan jealous when you danced with me.”
Well, maybe I was wrong. Soobin read my plan like a book. Why wasn’t he in the English program?
“Was I that obvious,” I muttered, looking away from Soobin as he chuckled. 
“I knew it was too good to be true when you were moving like that. Like you had a point to prove,” chuckled Soobin. 
“Ugh, I’m sorry Soobin,” I apologized once again.
“It’s okay, I know you’re an asshole now,” he laughed dryly before gesturing to the door, “Now go get Chan. I’ll be okay. I’ve gotta take care of Beomgyu.”
I glanced at the dance floor and Beomgyu was clearly very drunk and happily dancing. Soobin gave me a reassuring smile.
“Thanks Soob. Take care,” I smiled back before making my way out of the frat house through the door Chan left from. 
Chan’s POV:
I shivered as the cool autumn breeze hit me, the hand holding my drink becoming disproportionately colder than the rest of my body as a result of the sudden temperature change. God, why did Y/N dancing with another guy bother me so much? Everything was going perfectly until Soobin showed up. I know she’s not technically mine but why does the thought of her being with someone who isn’t me hurt so much? I get so angry when things don’t go my way. What should I do!? I blinked back a few tears as I paced along the sidewalk near the building. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and saw the concerned texts from some of the guys in our group chat. 
Felix: hey Chan, are you okay? I’m here if you need anything
Jeongin: what happened to Chan?
Hyunjin: his genius plan isn’t working *insert video of Y/N and Soobin on the dance floor*
Minho: oh my god that bitch
Jisung: okay maybe I was right to ghost her!
Seungmin: yeahhh it was pitiful 
Changbin: damn I’m sorry bro
I sighed, not bothering to reply. I just needed some space to process the fact that Y/N is probably going to leave the party with another guy. Someone who isn’t me. Maybe I shouldn’t have messed with her as much as I did. I’m sure it must have gotten old pretty quickly. I should’ve just been honest with her from the beginning. But no, I just had to maintain my frat boy image. I don’t know why, or how, I could be this stupid. I just fucked up my chances of being with the prettiest, funniest, and smartest girl I know. Just as I reached to wipe my tears, I heard a familiar voice. 
“Chan!”
I turned around and was faced with none other than Y/N. Concern and regret painted her features as she gazed into my teary eyes. 
“Chan,” she spoke softly, inching closer to me. “I’m sorry. I was an asshole. I shouldn’t have left you like that just to make you jealous on purpose. I’m really sorry.”
I quickly blinked back any tears that remained and wiped the rest off my face. “Y/N, you came to find me?”
Y/N blinked a few times before replying, “Of course. I wanted to mess with you but I could tell that you were hurt. I couldn’t just leave you alone.”
I swallowed before speaking, gently taking ahold of her hand. “Y/N, I need to come clean. I like, no, I love you. I have loved you for a long time. Since like, freshman year. I only pretended to hate you just to mess with you. I don’t know why, I’m so stupid, I just, I thought that was just how a frat guy should act. Clearly not, I just annoyed you and I don’t blame you if you don’t return my feelings. I’ve been an asshole to you for a long time, and I’m sorry,” I rambled, feeling her grip on my hand tighten as I felt myself begin to shake. 
“Chan…” muttered Y/N as she looked into my eyes. God, I’m so embarrassed. 
Y/N’s POV:
I just felt so guilty, and I’m glad I apologized. It’s the least I could do. I know Chan loves to mess with me but he has never gone out of his way to hurt me like I just did to him. However, he really did just drop a bomb out of nowhere. Chan loves me? 
“Chan,” I said, squeezing his hand once again to get him to look at me. It works. “I honestly didn’t realize you felt that way. Wow,”
“Listen, I don’t want to pressure you at all to say yes. I just think you deserve to know how I truly feel,” admitted Chan. 
“No, it’s not that. I just think that you helped me describe what I’ve been feeling,” I admitted. “I always thought I hated you, but I’ve always been drawn to you. It’s not the same if you’re away. And I’m actually kind of glad you didn’t go away for grad school because you’re such a constant in my life. Like, I couldn’t imagine not going to school with you.”
Chan began to laugh. “What’s so funny?” I asked, bracing myself for Chan to probably admit this was a whole prank or something.
“It’s just, I only chose to go to grad school in the first place because you were doing it. And you just so happened to be staying here so I followed you,” laughed Chan, squeezing my hand gingerly. 
My eyes widened, “Well this is news to me!”
“When I told the guys this, they insisted I asked you out. So we made this whole elaborate plan to get you to this party but the plan didn’t really go as planned,” confessed Chan.
“Oh Chan,” I laughed, “Did you guys think you could really fool me?”
“Yeah. So did Rosé,” smirked Chan.
“She what?” I asked, shocked that Rosé was plotting with Chan.
“She’s gonna kill me for telling you but yes, I asked her to bring you here.”
“Oh my god, that’s why her text about the party conveniently came during peer review!” everything began to click as Chan smiled. “I mean, that explains everyone staring at us this whole night.”
“There’s the smart Y/N I know,” laughed Chan, staring at me with adoration which made me flustered. 
“I should’ve known,” I laughed dryly, “But Chan, seriously, I did have a great time with you tonight. And I don’t want that to end so, yes, I’ll be your girlfriend I guess.”
“You what!?” Chan’s jaw dropped as his eyes brightened.
“Don’t make me repeat myself,” I rolled my eyes as I pulled him into a kiss. His plush lips I used to despise returned the kiss as he fought back a smile, putting his hands on my waist to draw me closer. We pulled back from one another because we couldn’t stop smiling. 
“God, Y/N. You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” mused Chan as a genuine smile graced his features as he put an arm around my waist. 
“Yeah it took you long enough,” I rolled my eyes playfully and leaned into his embrace. “Now do you wanna go back inside to party?”
“I’m happy wherever you are, Y/N.”
Chan’s POV
YESSSS I DID IT!!! Y/N IS MINE NOW! Oh my god, oh my god. All it took was for me to word-vomit everything I had felt about her with a pinch of jealousy to make her my girlfriend. I don’t even remember the initial plan because this outcome is so much better. I smiled at the girl in my arms, the one I spent years annoying because I couldn’t communicate my feelings. This is what bliss is. 
Suddenly, my phone began to vibrate like crazy once again. 
“Hold on, I think the guys are texting me,” I tell Y/N as I bring out my phone. I gasp as my eyes widen.
Felix: So uh, I went outside to find Chan and this is what I saw 😳 *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*
Hyunjin: omg how the turns have tabled
Jisung: WHAT!! The switch up is crazyyyyy
Jeongin: oh god my eyesssss (nice job Chan)
Seungmin: phew Chan is okay lol
A message was deleted by Minho
Minho: Aw finally! (I didn’t call Y/N a bitch earlier nooo)
Changbin: CHAN’S GETTING IT AYYY
“What’s wrong Chan?” asked Y/N as she fished out her phone which was also buzzing with notifications. 
“Just check your phone,” I muttered in disbelief, but I couldn’t help but hold back a smile. 
Y/N’s POV
I took Chan’s advice and checked my phone. Maybe something had happened at the party while we were gone? Instead, I found like a hundred notifications from Rosé.
Rosé: AHFEWFEJ WHAT JUST HAPPENED
Rosé: I know you liked Soobin at one point but like
Rosé: omg Chan is actually sad
Rosé: check your phoneee even Jaehyun agrees
Rosé: wait omg
Rosé: *insert pic of Chan and Y/N kissing*
Rosé: care to explain? 🤭
“Oh my god Rosé!” I yelled.
Chan POV:
“Actually it was Felix who took that pic,” I laughed at her flustered state. Honestly, I love that the picture exists. My first kiss with Y/N. How precious!  
“Wanna go kill them?” asked Y/N, rolling up her sleeves. God she’s so hot when she’s mad, even hotter when she’s mad at other people. 
“Gladly, but first, you never answered my question,” I began, smirking at her once again. 
“What question?” She replied, tilting her head in confusion. 
“Can you prove to me that your ass is actually bigger than mine?” I asked, cocking an eyebrow as I eyed her behind and began to laugh at her further flustered state. She paused before suddenly moving closer to me.
“After I get finished with them,” she muttered, gesturing to our friends in the frat house, “Is when I’ll get started with this.” I yelped from the sudden smack on my butt as Y/N eyed me dangerously, smirking. 
“Oh I can’t wait!”
Epilogue:
Y/N’s POV
Even though I hadn’t had a sip of alcohol, I still woke up hungover the next morning in my bed. I groaned at the slew of notifications that had woken me up from my slumber. I can’t believe that I woke up as the girlfriend of Bang Chan, the frat guy who had a notorious reputation for also being a fuck boy. I blinked a few times as I opened Instagram only to find the picture of me kissing Bang Chan to be the first post I saw. 
@gnabnahc last night was crazyyy 🥶💯😳
Comments: 
@yong.lixx: photo creds? 📸 jk so happy for you man
@i.2.n.8: mommy & daddy 😳
@miniverse.__: lookin gr8 bro 
@jutdwae: Ayyyy bro is hard launching rn!
@hynjinnnn: now this is art
@minho_knows: you’re welcome
@han_jisung: yeah she’s much better with you 🤭
@roses_are_rosie: so the plan worked! 😁
@page.soobin: congrats 🥲
⎿ @bamgyuuuu: it’s ok u tried bro 😤
Ok this was my first ever attempt at writing a stray kids fic! I hope you enjoyed! I had a lot of fun writing this! I know Chan would never be a fuck boy irl but as you can see it would be fun to imagine what that might look like!
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piglinmyfeet · 3 months
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I need to say something about how Joel never gets final kills, I need to, I just don't know what
The first two final kills he did were in Last Life, and they were in the finale. Compare that to some of the other finalists, Scott killed Impulse, Ren killed Skizz and Scar, Cleo killed BigB, and Grian killed Jimmy Mumbo and Bdubs (granted Joel did try to kill Bdubs too but shhh) (the other people without a final kill by this point were Etho, Martyn and Pearl)
It really goes to show how Joel was genuinely loyal to the reds, he didn't even consider killing another red at any point, he didn't want to be alone, and he never killed another person on their last life for the next two seasons
Until Secret Life. In the finale, he's desperate for a kill. He has so few hearts left and he kills Skizz for it, but it's not his initial choice. It's not personal and it's a recommendation from Scar of all people, the person he failed to team with in Last Life.
There's something significant here I know it.
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