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#truly slapped this together
rare-prism-s · 10 months
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(insp)
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bike-wheeler · 2 years
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steddie is getting me ... the rival parents to co-parents pipeline 
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mieldehielo · 9 months
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The new chapter really solidifies mo guan shan and the perfect tsundere
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gorillaz-girl · 1 year
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lmao what would they do without her
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bigkickguy · 2 months
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sagittariangirl27 · 4 months
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This reminds me of one of my first tumblrs. I started with erotic art, and ended up finding myself. I will be back here soon.
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shiftythrifting · 1 year
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Bored on the terlet? We have a monthly newsletter now!
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transkang · 2 years
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trying to figure out how to draw ‘em + some mc stuff (harper is there because i drew her & dev wayyy back in december, before i knew she was out of commission)
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koishua · 2 months
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shining solo ep 8. my reaction rn 😐😐 took it a bit hard lmao
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#tp#very mixed feelings. as someone who associates herself with jeongwoo and having very similar personalities... this ep hurt a lot#idk idk#i mean i get it but i also absolutely do not get it#so many thoughts im taking this very personally what the heck#i cant really warm up to half of this part's girlies im sorry#i loved everyone on part one#as someone who also struggles with managing my social energy lvls... this was a slap in the face#bc my boy jeongwoo truly gave it his ALL the whole day and even managed to perform a couple songs for the girls#despite already having spent the whole day together#and his energy must have been SPENT already and then they pick him as MVP of the day and he has that 1:5 date with all of the girls#by himself!! which is so terrifying imagine being the one person who everyone's attention is on and you have to interact with these ppl#that you arent very comfortable with but you still try your best to give them a good time#AND THEN!! they give you NOTHING in return?? not even a recorder?? no jewel no recording nothing. just ignored like that by everyone#and i get that the girls dont know who's voting for who so they might have believed someone else was gonna give him a jewel or sth#but no one gives him anything (positive OR negative)#and yeah. he was absolutely shocked at the empty safe. i would have been too.#and why did they not give him a jewel y'all might ask??? IT WAS BC HE FELL SILENT DURING THE LAST BIT: THE DINNER#my gosh that's the part that i take offense to personally bc it's really really really difficult to always engage in convos with ppl#after spending the whole day with them already?? and your social battery is down so you quietly enjoy a simple meal??#and then all the girlies threw him away like that??#i mean yeah you're surrounded by sweet men who spend the day appealing themselves to you but come on??#i would have been so impressed by jeongwoo and thankful that he put that much effort in and would understand how difficult it is to#maintain it till the very end because not everyone has hyunsuk's boundless social energy#no offense hyunsuk i love you dearly#and also??? what's up with admitting that you lack some confidence upfront??#the girl's reasoning for giving yoshi the voice recorder was that he said he holds himself to a high standard and lacks confidence sometimes#and i get it. being confident is more attractive than someone who's always insecure and puts themselves down#(and makes the other person uncomfortable) but they were having an honest and deep convo when the thing he said in that convo was used#against him in the end? i would feel kind of betrayed too bc being able to admit that you feel insecure sometimes is a v brave thing to do!!
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angel-starr · 1 year
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I love how heavily they tried to market Athena being the new strong female protagonist of the series for years then not only delegated her to the distressed damsel role in her debut game but shafted her to a filler case in the 6th game and now even "her" game has been titled after two male characters who continuously get more screentime and actuation than her.
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uniformbravo · 2 years
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bocchi the rock going the extra mile to mess w one of their songs so the drums are off beat and the vocals are off key so the characters' flubbed performance actually sounds rough 👌👌👌👌👌👀💯✔✔👀👌👀💯🔥🔥🔥
#low bar but ive watched a lot of music anime where they just play the song as is every time#so i rly appreciate when they commit to this level of detail#fuckign watch bocchi the rock !!!!! it slaps!!!!!! super hard!!!!!! and the songs are Peak kisses fingers#retag later#ani blogging#the only music anime ive ever felt truly blown away by in terms of story-driven details in the music#is those snow white notes#it involves a lot of the same song being played over and over again and u can genuinely hear the differences every time#esp w an instrument i knew almost nothing about (shamisen) going into it like. it's insane#the first time the prestigious pro comes in and u hear him play and all the characters are blown away by the quality of his sound#u can /genuinely/ hear what they mean theres such a strong clear quality to his playing and it fucking RULES#when the main character is messing up and his notes are getting muddy u can hear the difference#when theyre struggling to play together as a unit it's v clear theyre all off like. again: It's Insane#dont get me started on the competition and all the distinct versions of the same fucking song#how flashy the other schools' arrangements are and how plain and simple the protag's group is in comparison#GOD it's so fucking good they went balls to the fuckin walls with that anime and it pays tf off!!!!!#(now s2 when 😔)#also correction: i forgot abt hibike euphonium 👌👌👌💯💯💯/10#reina's solo in s1 compared to that 3rd year's version of the same solo OOOOOOOG#i gotta rewatch that anime again ITS TIME.........
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spiritofjustice · 1 year
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dark dragon vers of magicant 👀
(In response to the tags of this post)
Anyways, yeah! It's interesting that Magicant doesn't really appear in Mother 3. It feels like such a cool and interesting part of being a PSI user in the Mother series, but whatever. I imagine a being as powerful as the Dark Dragon, who in my view is a being made of the Earth's Power, has to have a Magicant. I imagine Magicants, though large, do have limits to their size. The world can only exist inside one's head, so it is usually contained to one town and a surrounding area, whereas I think that the Dark Dragon's Magicant is significantly larger than that.
It's probably impossible to explore the entire thing, considering that. It kind of grows infinitely as necessary and is sprawling. It's sort of why travel works weirdly in Her Magicant; because it'd take too long to get anywhere if travel worked the way it did in reality. You sort of just inevitably appear in one place or another, the path in front of you stretching and squishing down to what is necessary for you. It's a lot of natural space, but there are some different settlement-type areas around.
I'm sure there are Denizens of this Magicant that were created of Her mind for Her mind, but I haven't developed that much. Who else is contained in there, though, includes the Magifolk; Magicant is already shell-themed, as are the homes of the Magifolk, so to me it feels like that perhaps they are a creation of the Dark Dragon. They get to have a big, shell-themed castle. So they disappeared, but they still exist in some form in Magicant.
In terms of other things, I talked extensively about "forest gods" in Jonel's chapter that are just splinters of the Dragon that carry out Her will and watch over different areas of Nowhere on Her behalf. The stag and the Drago appear in that chapter. There are some others, but the only other one I developed was a dog one, but anyways. The difference between how those forest gods appear in reality vs. Magicant is sort of interesting; in reality, they're just vague shadowy shapes, whereas in Magicant they are actual, physical black animals. They also talk, whether flat out being the vessel for the Dragon to speak with, or with their own voices.
They sort of act as guides around Magicant in the same way that they are guides in reality. They're wise, and want to help someone who visits-- because it is possible, though very rare and would be up to the Dragon's discretion. Per Kumatora's chapter, she was selected to enter because she is connected to the Magifolk and needed to speak with them. In addition, the proof of concept chapter I mentioned starred Lucas visiting, and this is something he's done many times, although this was the first time he was allowed to explore it.
I digress. The last set of pre-existing denizens in Magicant would be Chosen Ones relating to the Dragon. Anybody who has been connected to Her still has a copy of themselves living within this Magicant. To keep it short, prior to Her being sealed away, the Chosen Ones were all in one long familial line, until the last one decided to betray Her and attempt to control the Dragon, which wound up with Her being sealed away because she attempted to kill off humans for it. Not that She could act all that rationally when he was the one controlling Her heart anyways, so She had to be sealed away until She could be revived and controlled by another again.
So, there's a long line of people who all worked alongside Her, and now exist as copies in Magicant. It isn't the real version of that person, just an imitation of them. Even the one that betrayed Her is probably still in there somewhere, just hidden deep away forever, separate from the others. There's a copy for Lucas already, and it's very eerie on both ends-- both the real version and the Magicant version-- to know that one of you is just a mere copy of somebody who is real. Lucas found it deeply unsettling, and so did his counterpart. But they all live there, peacefully given a sort of afterlife within Magicant with Her.
Magicant similarly also is where the Dragon exists, since Her size makes it difficult for Her to exist on the same plane as reality. I mean, She can, She just generally chooses not to because it interferes with Nowhere and the creatures living on it. Essentially, you have to contact Her via the Prayer Sanctuary-- I guess you could do it anywhere, but that's the best option-- in order to see Her. Even then, there's no guarantee you will. Jonel saw a small portion of the Dragon's Magicant, and saw part of Her true form, but he isn't really capable or allowed to see Her as She really is.
I imagine She really does just look like a dragon, ginormous, pitch-black, the big, white moon eyes I always mention. Though with Magicant, She can also squish Her form down to something smaller as necessary, it's just not Her true form, and therefore not preferable to Her. The Dragon could take many forms, such as the forest gods, though I think She can also take the form of a human if She'd so like. Either She would imitate one of Her Chosen Ones (-Dragon pointing at Lucas- this is the ideal human body. you may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like) or just take on Her own unique form.
I think the Dragon could also squish Her form in reality, it's just easier to not exist there at all. If She needs to make an appearance, then She will, but overall, the Dragon really tries not to interfere with human lives unless absolutely necessary to avoid them becoming reliant upon Her. But if you really need advice, and you really need to ask Her for help, trying to contact Her in the sanctuary, as mentioned, is a good bet. The Magicant is also Her reception area for people basically GRHF. You can get a good chat there.
And that's basically it, far as I can remember. It's a way less wacky version of Magicant compared to Ness's, and is more structured the way Maria's is. I think the more powerful you are, plus perhaps the older you are, the more stable Magicant becomes. It's still an odd, eerie place, but it's like a fantasy world more than a bizarre dream. Time doesn’t work right, it’s always bright, so on.  It's a world unlike any other, and would be the most unique Magicant anybody could possibly visit. After all, I think a god's Magicant is something pretty damn special and significant.
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ambreiiigns · 2 years
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so i actually moved out and started uni. and i still feel like it's unreal. and actually i'm having the best time
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cockaiine · 1 month
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You used to think that satoru would be detached and annoying in a relationship.
Well, he is annoying, at least you got that much right. A pest, at that.
“Babyyyy…” his whine is long. You really don’t know what’s with him today, he’s so… absurd. He’s always preposterous but today? It’s bad. And it doesn’t help that you had little to no sleep the night before either. “Come onnnnn”
You chuckle softly, unclasping his hands from around you so you can move. He really couldn’t bring this up any other time, it had to be while you’re cooking.
Well, to be fair to him, he’s been bringing it up all last wek.
 “Are you crazy? ‘Toru, we barely just got engaged and–”
“And I don't care,” he rolls his eyes with another huf, lips set in a pout. You think that if he kept that face he’d get wrinkles. And you’re not exactly opposed to the idea; Satoru growing older doesn’t sound too bad at all. “Did you see them? They were so cute!”
“Babe… that was a brand’s advertisement… not a baby advertisement..” you cock your head as you speak; thinking that hopefully, he’s not serious. There’s truly no telling when it comes to your snow-haired lover. “They weren’t trying to convince us to get a baby.”
Cerulean eyes look away, finding reason in your words… much to his dismay.
“But that doesn’t make it any less convincing–!” At this point, you’ve given up on getting any sense in him. 
You don’t respond, simply turning back to the counter, chopping vegetables for dinner. Your wrist moves at professional speed, always stopping right before it slices your finger too.
But in a sudden movement, your wrist slips and you nearly hurt yourself with the sharp knife at the feeling of arms caging your frame. “Satoru–!” your brows knit in the space between, trying to ignore the feeling of giddiness clouding you when his fingers ghost over your stomach.
“I want a baby,” he hums again, pressing his face in the crook of your neck. Your heart throbs, feeling the moist warmth of his breathing. He doesn’t kiss you yet, deliberately agitating you, leaving you hanging on the thread of anticipation of contact that never happens.
“We have to think it through,” you mumble coherently, wiping your hand off on the apron. “We’re not even married yet.”
“You know that’s not a problem for me,” Satoru argues, bringing you closer to him, deeper into his warmth. He will be the end of you. “We have time, it’s not like you’d get pregnant on the spot..”
“But..” You sigh. You want it, you really do. But you’re not certain it’s an appropriate idea… It’s a good thing Satoru is the one insisting, a telltale sign of his desire to build a family with you. To grow together, that’s what he always says. “Are you sure?”
“Have some faith in me,” it’s a plead, interrupted by a comforting kiss under your ear. “I know we can do it. We can only be so ready.”
Your teeth chew on the inside of your cheek, thinking your options through.
“Okay,” you breathe, barely audible. 
“What??” He gasps like a little girl, face glowing with glee. “Are you serious? Please say you are. You’re not messing around with me, are you?”
“No, I’m n–WOAAH!”
He hoists you over his shoulder, landing a soft slap against your ass. “Finally I can put a baby in you.”
“Satoru!” You half-gasp, chuckling at his words. “I can walk”
“Ohhh yeah… that’ not lasting for long baby.”
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opalici0us · 4 months
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I Dare You || Ryomen Sukuna
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| pairings- Sukuna x fem!reader
synopsis- Two weeks of no sex is too much for poor Sukuna.
content- 18+ MNDI, smut, mean Sukuna, unrealistic car sex (classic handprint), unprotected sex, p in v, MAKEUP SEX, Sukuna is a bit rough, spit, soft Sukuna at the end, fingering, pet names (babe, pretty, my girl), established relationship
wc-2.1k
a/n: I am a whore for Sukuna :(((
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Sukuna knew you were stubborn when you first started dating. You hated backing down and always had to have the last word. Sukuna thought it was hot for the most part until you guys got into a fight that has lasted almost two weeks. Two weeks of sleeping on the couch in your shared home, two weeks of non-stop belittling and snarky comments, and most importantly two weeks of no sex. 
To many people, Sukuna's desperation sounded ridiculous but they didn’t get it. You two were extremely sexually active, almost fucking every day. Sukuna felt like he was going crazy, not only was he pissed and hurt but he was extremely horny. No amount of jerking off and porn can live up to your warm n’ tight little cunt. 
When he’d see you in nothing but one of his t-shirts, or those cute sundresses he bought you, and especially those damn short skirts, he wanted nothing more than just to back down and apologize first so he could be balls deep inside you. It wasn’t that easy. Anytime he’d try you’d stop him. 
“What are you doing…?” You immediately paused as you felt Sukuna wrap his arms around your waist, not even trying to be subtle about the massive problem currently pressed right against you. You felt him grind his massive erection right against you, a low not-so-subtle grunt escaping from his throat.
 “Nothin’, you just look so fuckin’ sexy in this dress. This is the one I got ya’, right?” He whispered right against your ear, making chills go up your spine. It took everything in your body not to give in to him. His tongue ventured out, licking the lobe of your ear. A soft puff of frustration left your lips.
 “You gonna apologize, hmm?” Your tone was fiery as ever. Sukuna stopped his tormenting and rolled his eyes. “Now go away, I’m trying to do the dishes.” You ripped his arms off of you. Trying your best to ignore the arousal pooling in your panties. 
“God, you’re so stubborn, I don’t even know what I have to apologize for! I’ll just go fuck myself then!” Sukuna spat and stormed off to the bathroom, making sure to slam the door behind him, rattling the house. 
Rolling your eyes at him, really wishing he was making your eyes roll back from his cock. You went back to your original task. As you were finally back in the zone with no thoughts in mind, loud groans could be heard…coming from the bathroom.
You drop the plate you were washing back into the sink. As if your feet had a mind of their own, you made your way to the bathroom, placing your ear against the cold door. “Mmm fuuuck, just like Y/N, wanna make a mess on your face.” You heard your boyfriend's muffled groans, the bastard was doing it on purpose. 
You scoff silently, as much as you wanted to ignore him but you couldn’t ignore the heartbeat felt down there. Sighing in frustration, you squeeze your thighs together to bring some relief to your poor untouched clit. Sukuna continued his sultry groans, babbling out “Lemme fill you up baby.” and “You’re so fuckin’ tight.”
Of course, when he came out he had that damn smirk on his face. The kind you wanted to slap off his face, Sukuna was truly going to drive you insane.
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The two of you were currently standing inside Yuuji's place for a housewarming party. The smell of cheap liquor and weed filled the air, the scent mixed was almost sickening. Though you and Sukuna couldn’t bother to care. 
“We are not doing this here, Sukuna.” You spat at him. It was barely 10 minutes of being here and you and Sukuna were already fighting in the corner of the living room. His large frame, cornering you against the wall. 
“Doing what Y/N?” He spoke sarcastically, a smirk etched onto his lips.
 “I mean it, I refuse to fight with you in front of your brother and his friends.” You tried to move but he leaned in, successfully trapping you. 
“I’m just saying, I would have preferred if you didn’t wear this skirt here.” He said, lowly. 
“Are we really going to argue about this right now?” You scoffed, an amused smile adorned your face.
“Don’t play dumb with me right now,” He grabbed your chin. “This skirt is so damn short, you could bend over and everyone could see your fucking pussy,” Sukuna furrowed his eyebrows together. “It’s like you wore it on purpose, fuckin’ attention whore, you’re embarrassing me,” He bit his tongue back realizing the words that just came from his mouth, especially seeing the look on your face. Your mouth was opened slightly, and your eyes widened. That familiar lump forming in your throat. You swiftly pushed past him and walked out of the house, Sukuna was close behind on your heels.
“Y/N, c’mon babe! I didn’t mean it like that.” He held onto your arm.
 “Then what did you mean it like then?” You ripped your arm from his grasp, turning around to face him as you two stood under the street lights.
 “We haven’t had sex in two weeks Y/N! We can’t even be in a room together without fighting! Can you blame me? You’re beautiful and everyone can see that, are you even attracted to me anymore?!” Sukuna berated you, raising his voice. 
“Of course, I’m still attracted to you!” You defended yourself, trying to reassure him. 
“Sure, doesn’t feel like it, Y/N,” Sukuna rubbed his face. You could see the frustration written in bold in his expression. “I don’t even know why we are fighting… Are you trying to push me away? Break up with me?” Sukuna looked down, not wanting you to see him look so weak.
“No! Sukuna…I don’t want to break up.” You hesitantly reached out to him, only for him to back away. 
“Then why are you acting like such a bitch?!” Sukuna finally broke, his sadness turning into rage.
 “Excuse me? You have no room to talk! You’re such a dick Sukuna!” You yelled back at him, feeling tears brim your eyes. “You can’t even apologize!” You looked up at him, fighting the urge to break down in front of him.
“What am I supposed to apologize for?” Sukuna stepped towards you, getting into your face. 
“You’re so insufferable,” You spat at him. “Maybe I do want to break up.” You said looking straight into his eyes. 
“Yeah? Then fuckin’ do it, I dare you.” Sukuna inched closer to your face, you could feel his hot breath.
“Fuck you, Sukuna.” 
In a matter of seconds, your lips were smashed together, his tongue invading your mouth while your hands held onto his shoulders for dear life. His hands tangled in your hair. You bit down on his bottom lip, a growl escaping from his mouth. He removed his hands from your head to your waist, trying to be as close to you as possible. You felt his hard cock pressing against you, making you moan, instinctively you brought your hand down to palm him through his jeans.
“Oh fuck!” He groaned. “Want me fuck ya? Hmm?” He smacked your ass, giving it a firm squeeze. “Get in the car.” He demanded and pulled the keys out to unlock it. He crawled into the passenger seat, scooting and leaning the seat back as far as he could get it. 
 “C’mere pretty,” Sukuna pulled you onto his lap, making you straddle him. He slammed the car door shut, maintaining eye contact with you. His hands dipped between your legs, rubbing your mound through your panties. “You soaked through your panties, ha-ah!”
He pulled your panties to the side running his fingers between your folds. You moan loudly, his rough skin sending tingles throughout your body. He started to teasingly rub your clit, barely giving it any stimulation. He moved down your slit once again, probing your tight little entrance. Slipping two fingers inside, thrusting in n’ out at a painfully slow speed.
“P-please Kuna, feel s’ good, w-want more.” Desperate whimpers spilling from your mouth. Your hands clinging onto his biceps to keep your upper body stable. Sukuna's fingers pick up speed, creating loud ‘squelch’ sounds from your wet cunt. 
“Fuckin’ pathetic, got this pussy so sloppy just from kissing.” He said cockily, acting like his dick wasn’t about to burst through the zipper of his jeans. 
“S-shut up, I see t-the wet spot on your jeans.” You smirked and motioned to the spot of pre-cum, seeping through his boxers onto his jeans. 
A scowl formed on Sukunas face, he pulled his hand back and swiftly smacked your pussy, making you yelp. “Yeah? You like pissin’ me off, don’t you?” He landed another harsh smack before, shoving two fingers into your tight hole. You gasped loudly at the feeling, his fingers curling into your sensitive spot, over and over again.
“I…I’m g-gonna cum nngh, if you k-keep doing t-that.” Your legs were trembling with pleasure, a knot forming in your stomach. Your orgasm was so close. Then he stopped…
“I don’t think so,” He chuckled and removed his fingers from your wet warmth. “Want you to cum on my cock, can you do that for me, ride this cock?” His tone was menacing, hiding the desperation in his words. 
“Yes please, wanna feel you inside me.” A little pout on your lips. He chuckled and started to unbutton his jeans, your mouth watering at the sight of his hard length, hidden underneath his boxers. What you’ve been craving for two weeks now. 
Impatiently you reached down to help him, hands fumbling with the waistband. “Impatient? Huh?” Sukuna chuckled, a smirk on his face. His massive member finally free. “Want you to ride me, you know how I like it.” He demanded and helped you guide your hips onto his length. Pulling your skirt up to your waist to watch your bodies connect.
“Shittt, s’ big Kuna.” You squeezed your eyes shut. Never getting used to his size.
“Tsk, this slutty pussy seems to take me fine all those other times, don’t lie to me now.” Sukuna shook his head, pretending to be disappointed. There was an undertone in his words. With no warnings, he thrusted up into you. 
“Oh fuck!” You yelped, his cockhead kissing your cervix perfectly. “D-don’t do that!” You were unable to protest, despite Sukuna saying he wanted YOU to ride him; he's doing all the work.
“Fuck! Always so tight….shittt!” He babbled on and on. His hands dug into your waist, holding you in place so he could violently pound his cock into you with no mercy. His tip was brushing against the bundle of nerves that makes you go crazy. “Yesyesyes, ohmy- Sukuna!” Your screams of pleasure only flued him more.
“Just w-wanna fuck you good, show how I missed fuckin’ my girl.” He groaned loudly. Unable to comprehend anything but the pleasure you’re feeling, your mouth falls open, the drool spilling out, dripping down your chin. Sukuna leans up, his tongue coming out to lick the liquid up.
“Y-you’re s-so sick.” You managed to choke out. Sukuna pulled you down with him, wrapping his arms around your waist. The pace of his thrust never died down, if anything they picked up. The sudden new intensity made him much deeper than before. “So f-fuckin deep Kuna.�� 
Your hand slammed against the foggy window, creating a nice hand print. 
“I’m sorry Y/N…m’ really sorry baby.” He suddenly slowed his pace down. His rough grip loosened, hands migrated down to your hips, encouraging you to take over.
Silently you complied, moving against him in circular motions. “N-no I’m sorry, mmph, baby.” You whimpered and pressed your forehead against his. “I s-should have just talked…t-to you.” Your body began to shake again. Your orgasm was creeping up.
“I don’t wanna b-break up.” He admits, his red eyes gazing into yours. “I love you.” He slowly began to thrust back into you, meeting your hips halfway. “Don’t wanna fight with you anymore.” He sounded so desperate.
“I love you too.” Your lips met his for a soft kiss, humming at the feeling. Your release was so close, your walls started to pulse around him. “M’ gonna cum.” Sukuna's ears perked up, he almost came just from hearing your words and feeling the way you squeezed so tightly around him. 
“Yeah? Me too, cum with me baby,” He picked up the pace once again. “Milk this cock.” Heavy groans coming from him. His cum painting your tight walls, your own orgasm hitting you. Pulsating around him, milking every drop of his release. “So good baby, that’s it…” He cooed, rubbing soothing circles on your hips. 
“I forgive you by the way…” You kissed his forehead. 
“Let me eat that pretty pussy first and I’ll forgive you too.”
“Sukuna!”
“Just kidding…”
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insanechayne · 11 months
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~ ~ ~
#today is my ex-best friend’s birthday#a day I can’t ever forget because it used to be so important#and it’s just depressing to think back on all the fun we used to have and how I tried to always make her birthday special#we used to be so close and then she decides to end the friendship after 13 fucking years#we damn near grew up together like all through high school and into adulthood#I used to think we could communicate enough to work through anything and nothing would ruin our friendship#and probably it was a lot of little things building up over time#but the reason she gave me was so stupid and minimal and it felt like a joke or a slap in the face#and she got to move on meanwhile I’m stuck alone and lonely#I’m trying to branch out and make friends but nobody connects with me the same way she did#and I wonder if I’ll never truly find a best friend again#I mean ok I do have another best friend kinda and I love him dearly but it’s long distance and it’s not like we can hang out or anything#and we have a weird complicated relationship as it is so it’s just not quite the same thing#it seems no one’s ever going to understand me and know me the way she did#how do you move on from 13 years of life with someone?#how do you just pack up all the memories and move forward without it affecting you?#she didn’t even care that I was moving to a whole other state#there was no good closure or way to say goodbye or have that final conversation that I feel like I really needed#and I’m trapped in the trauma because if she could just leave me then so can everyone else#and now every friendship I have I feel like is on shaky ground and I’ll fuck up and push them away and be alone again#and it never stops I’m always bombarded with these feelings of not being good enough for the people in my life#I can’t even bring myself to delete our pics together because even that feels too final#I have to cling to this little bit of her that I have left#I still have some shred of hope that she’ll come back to me one day and we’ll fix things and be friends again#even though I know that won’t actually happen#it just felt like she was supposed to be in my life forever and now who else is going to fill that void?#I feel so alone all the time and I’m tired of being lonely and I just want to cry#I just wish I could move on as easily as she did#she had a new best friend before she ever even told me she wanted to end things so I guess I didn’t matter much after all#personal
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