#trans masc maglor

[lordgrimwing]

In Town #03

[for Maedhros and Maglor week, hosted by @maedhrosmaglorweek]

“Hello, Laurë,” Maryann said, seeing the barefooted child holding one of her little brother’s hands as they looked at the tins of hard candies kept behind a glass display case in the general store. 

The girl glanced over at her and turned away without answering, hunching her shoulders like she didn’t want to be noticed. She appeared as dirty and boyish as ever, wearing a patched pair of pants and an old linen shirt that Maryann was sure she’d seen the oldest child in when he was her size. 

The town school teacher sighed. She felt disappointed, seeing yet another daughter in the community saddled with chores and childcare at the expense of an education and the chance to find more in life than a husband to care for and more children. There was very little she could do about it, though. 

Laurë’s family lived in the mountains. From what people said in town, the family lived there for several generations as active members of the community, and it wasn’t until the last ten years or so after most of them moved away that the remaining members became more reclusive. The father was a suspicious man and rumor had it he was mad as a child and probably still was. He cared not one whit about any social pressure Maryann exerted over the continued absence of his children from the schoolhouse. The mother, a strong woman named Nerdanel, was something of a folk-healer who could be convinced to help when a doctor proved useless or unavailable. She tried speaking with her, suspecting she benefited from some formal education herself and hoped that would make her more open to discussion. However, she was met with a similar stony refusal. By now there was little hope of ever seeing the girl in one of her classes.

“He’s Maglor.”

She started at a voice so close behind her, bringing a hand up to her chest. She turned around and looked up at Laurë’s older brother. Though he couldn’t be older than fifteen, he was already as tall and broad as most grown men in town.

He glared down at her, arms occupied by two heavy burlap bags filled with some kind of drygood the family needed. “Don’t call him that again.”

Who? She didn’t think that was one of the children’s names and she was almost positive the little boy was named Curufin. Did he mean his sister? That didn’t make any sense.

“My apologies,” She said, noticing how his hands gripped the sacs, knuckles turning white. Stepping back to disengage from whatever was going on, she bid a hasty farewell and walked away, heading to the clerk to make her purchases.

#maryann could have her own oldtimey tv show #or maybe a camio on something like bananza! #she means well #but maedhros' about to snap #maedhrosmaglorweek #day 3: himring and the gap #tw misgendering #trans masc maglor #maglor #maedhros #curufin #the silmarillion #old gods au #grimwing writes

[carmisse]

Headcanon's on the sexuality/identity of Feanorians.

• Fëanor : He is trans, he confessed it to Finwë when he would have been the equivalent of fourteen human years old during a dinner. His father accepted him and helped him with his transition, he is bisexual as well as an androgynous person, and it doesn't bother him at all to be one.

• Maedhros: Openly bisexual, as well as demisexual, when he told his family, he was really unsure, but it all worked out, they all acted surprised (they weren't, not when they heard him talk about how perfect Fingon was).

• Maglor: Bisexual, his first crush was very intense and it hurt him a lot when it ended. He cried a lot, Fëanor comforted him, Celegorm beat his ex. (He fell in love with a human, even with the knowledge of their short lives, it didn't end well). At some point he married Daeron.

• Celegorm : Antrosexual, he doesn't say it openly because he doesn't give it importance, although during meetings he doesn't mind flirting with whoever catches his eye, he is a heartthrob, although when he falls in love, just as Maedhros talks about how perfect his interest is, Aredhel is a victim of it.

• Caranthir : Trans masc and Omnisexual, he is also demiromantic. He has a hard time expressing his interest in someone, but he tries. (Turgon has been in love with him for who knows how long, everyone notices it except Caranthir).

• Curufin : Bisexual and non-binary, Celegorm taught him how to flirt.(Aredhel corrected him, don't worry.) His first kiss was with Finderato, he will always deny it, he considers it a mistake at best.

• Amrod: Gay, aromatic and asexual. He believed for a long time that something was wrong with him, but Nerdanel quickly explained to him that it was completely normal for him to feel this way.

• Amras : Polyamorous and pansexual, he is very fond of receiving love/attention from his partners or mates, he also gives it to them in return.

#feanorians #house of feanor #the silm fandom #the silmarillion #sons of feanor #feanor #maedhros #maglor #celegorm #caranthir #curufin #amrod #amras #silm headcanons

[lordgrimwing]

Identity #02

[for Maedhros and Maglor week, hosted by @maedhrosmaglorweek]

Maedhros grabbed Maglor’s hand and pulled him up onto the weather-worn boulder. His brother scrambled for purchase on the mossy rock, and he kept his hold on his hand until he was securely settled next to him.

“Wow,” Maglor murmured, wide-eyed.

From atop their perch where the land began to rise steeply up the mountainside again, they could see over the tops of the tops of the trees and all the way across the glen they lived in with their parents and three younger brothers. Chickens, little more than specks from this distance, wandered across the cleared land, occasionally congregating in groups. The goats and sheep occasionally peaked out of the bordering thickets where they were grazing today. Further down the gently sloping glen, almost disappearing behind the trees, horses stood quietly in their large pasture, heads down and tails swishing away flies.

“I can see everything from here!”

Maedhros grinned at him. “Not quite everything.” He turned and pointed up the mountain to a distant stony promontory jutting into the sky. “Pa took me up there once. We really could see everything on this side of the mountain, even the town.”

“Wow,” Maglor repeated. He pushed loose hair out of his eyes. “Do you think he’ll take me up there if I ask?”

Since growing old enough to express an opinion on things, the second-born always wanted to do whatever Maedhros did. That became harder as the years passed and the family grew. Nerdenl began insisting that ‘Laurë’ come with her to learn about herbs, plants, and healing, and spend more time minding the younger children. 

One tear-filled afternoon a few months ago, Maglor confessed that he wasn’t a daughter or sister as everyone said. He begged them not to make him be a girl again. He was Maedhros’ brother, Nerdanel and Fëanor’s son, and he couldn’t pretend to be anything else anymore. The next day, Nerdanel told her two oldest that they were equally responsible for looking after their siblings. A few mornings later, when the sun just started to glimmer around the mountains and through the trees, they held a naming ceremony like they did for babies except this time Fëanor gave Maglor his new name and welcomed him as a son. Maedhros’ eyes were too wet to be sure, but he thought they all cried that morning.

He looked out over the valley again, away from the bright sky that was making his eyes burn. “Probably not ‘til you’re bigger,” He said, blinking away the afterimage of the promontory. “It was a tough climb.”

Maedhros knew he was tall for his age. He towered over all his cousins and could already see over his father’s head when he stood straight. It would probably be several years before Maglor could reach the handholds and ledges they used to scale the rocks. There was no way Pa would take him up there until he was absolutely sure he would succeed. It was a long way back down.

Maglor sighed, disappointed. “I can’t wait until I grow. Maybe I’ll be as tall as you one day!”

Maedhors snorted at the thought. “Maybe as tall as my shoulder.”

The younger boy contemplated this for a minute. “You’re right,” He said. “I don’t want to be as tall as you. I’d hit my head on everything.”

“That was one time!”

Maglor giggled. “Ma said Pa’ll have to make the doors bigger so you can fit inside by next summer if you keep growing.”

They sobered and silence fell around them.

“Thanks for bringing me up here,” Maglor whispered at length, eyes glued to the vastness before them.

Maedhros shrugged. “I think it’ll be fun to have someone to share it with.”

“Thank you, Mae,” He whispered again, even softer.

Maedhros cleared his throat. “We should probably get back before anyone notices we’re gone.” He slid easily down the boulder, dropping the last few inches into the dirt. He turned and reached up for his brother. “Slide down, Maglor. I’ll catch you.”

They walked down to the glen together.

#thank maedhros and maglor week for kicking my butt into doing another fic this weekend #they are precious and they have good childhoods #i am so emo for the naming ceremony #maedhros is the best big brother ever #change my mind #trans masc maglor #maglor #maedhros #maedhrosmaglorweek #day 1: tree light #the silmarillion #old gods au #grimwing writes

[lordgrimwing]

Identity #01

Maglor flicked his wrist, sending another flat stone skipping out across the wide pond. He glared at the ripples in the murky water, then rubbed his lower back. Water lapped at his toes. The sun sat low in the trees still, sunrise not long passed, and the air was still gentle against the skin of his arms and face, though the warming rays promised another hot and humid day. He should head back soon, apologize for running off, and get about his chores, those his brothers hadn’t finished yet.

 He threw another stone, this one sinking with a plonk instead of skipping, and made no move to get up from the mossy log, half submerged in the mud. He didn’t want to go home, not yet, and maybe not for the next several days. 

He was fourteen! He could survive on his own in the forest for a few days. He knew which plants he could eat. He could use his knife to make snares or sharpen sticks to catch fish. It couldn’t be that hard. Besides, his Pa told stories about going on hunting trips all by himself when he was even younger. Maglor could definitely stay out here and not go home until he was ready.

But Ma would worry, and Pa would track him down before sunset, probably before midday if he was being honest with himself. They wouldn’t let him hide out here.

He rubbed his stomach. 

He’d eaten breakfast this morning, though he felt a little sick when he got up—he realized why after taking his turn at the outhouse. Now, his belly felt hollow and empty, almost like he was hungry again, but not quite. He also kind of needed to pee again.

He threw another stone, his supply running low.

The ground around the pond didn’t have many stones, but if he got up, he could probably find a handful more that might work for skipping. He thought about it but heard someone splashing through the shallow, mucky water behind him, the cattails rustling as someone drew near to his hiding spot. He stayed put.

“Figured I’d find you here,” Maedhros said, plopping down on the end of the log, the legs of his overalls wet and spotted with mud and pond debris. “You should really pick a new hiding spot if you don’t want me to find you.”

Maglor sighed.

His brother wrapped an arm around his shoulder but he shrugged it off.

“What’s wrong?”

He hurled another rock. It landed in the vegetation on the far side of the pond.

With a laugh, the older boy reached across him, took one of the stones, and skipped it all the way across the water. He was always so good at everything.

“You should have seen Celegorm and Caranthir trying to milk the goat,” Maedhors chuckled. Maglor usually milked the nanny goat but he hadn’t done it today. “I swear, they can’t do anything together. Cara was in tears by the end, and then the goat put her foot in the milk bucket and splashed it all over him!” 

Maglor forced out a stilted laugh when his brother elbowed him lightly, then grimaced and hunched forward, wrapping his arms around his middle.

Maedhros’ voice quieted, the merriment melting away. “Pa’s worried,” He murmured. “It’s not like you to skip chores.” He reached out again, but this time he rested his hand on the other’s lower back and began to rub.

Maglor still didn’t say anything, but he let him continue.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, listening to the wind rattle in the reeds. 

“Ma wanted me to give this to you,” Maedhros eventually broke the calm, reaching into the big pocket over his chest and pulling out a bundle of large magnolia leaves folded around something. He offered it to his brother.

Hesitating for only a moment, Maglor took it. “Why?” He finally asked, setting the bundle on his lap.

“It’s a salve. She said it’ll help you feel better if you rub it over your belly and back.” He explained simply.

“I feel fine!” Maglor snapped at him, trying to straighten up so he didn’t look so miserable. He grimaced and curled forward again.

Maedhros kept rubbing his back, unphased by the outburst.  

Maglor’s head fell forward, his black hair curtoning around his face. He felt like throwing up or maybe crying. “I don’t like this.” He murmured, a tear sliding off his nose.

“I can help,” Maedhros offered. “We could go back to the shore, or I could help you put it on out here if you don’t want to get up yet.” He stuttered over the last bit, like he’d been about to say something else but changed his mind at the last moment.

He didn’t have the energy to rebuild the thin veneer of stoicism he’d worn, so without further protest, he undid the button on his pants and untucked his shirt. “Thanks,” He said, still unable to straighten up. 

Maedhros stood, sinking a couple inches down into the mud. He squelched around the log. “I’ll do your back first,” He said.

Maglor held up the leaves and felt his brother’s fingers brush his palm as he took them, then the soft sound of the green covering unfolding.

“Oh,” Maedhros said with a little inhale of surprise. “It’s cold.”

Maglor hiked up his shirt, bracing himself. 

The first cool touch of salve was cold but he was in too much discomfort already to care about this latest bother. His brother’s hand, so much larger than his own even though they were only a few years apart, slid across his back, spreading the cool sensation around his flanks and up his spine. He relaxed, just a little, into the feeling.

After a few seconds, the cold spots began to tingle. 

Maedhros splashed around to the front of the log. “Should I do your stomach too?” He asked.

Maglor nodded. His back felt pleasantly warm now, almost as though he were laying on a sun-warmed rock or had a hot waterskin pressed against it. He held his shirt out of the way and sat taller as his muscles unclinched. 

A groan of relief escaped his lips as Maedhros spread the last of the salve over his belly, sliding his fingers under his pants to spread it as far as possible. Embarrassment colored his cheeks.

Maedhros just smiled at him, folding the empty leaves and stuffing them back into his front pocket. “It’s helping?”

“Yeah,” Maglor said shakily as he let go of his shirt and rubbed the last of the wetness away from his eyes. “I feel a lot better.”

“Great,” His brother squatted and rubbed his hands vigorously in the water, coating them in mud before rinsing them off and standing up. “My hands feel so weird.”

Maglor tucked in his shirt and did up his pants. He still felt a little sick, and the spot between his legs continued to ache, but nothing seemed as bad as it did just a few minutes ago. “Thanks,” He said, leaning against his brother when he sat down next to him.

Maedhros tentatively put his arm around him again, then gave a comforting squeeze when he didn’t object to the touch. There were surely chores waiting for them back at the house, but neither of them made any move to get up. 

A duck landed in the middle of the pond with a splash.

“I hate when this happens,” Malgor admitted, gently kicking his feet in the water.

He felt Maedhros rest his chin on his head. “I’d hate it too if I just randomly started bleeding. Though, I’d probably think I was dying and run to Ma rather than out here.”

Maglor tilted his face up and saw his brother turning red with embarrassment at his own words, blushing all the way up his ears. It made him laugh a little. Maedhros didn’t usually get flustered. “Ma says the longer I drink my teas, the less this’ll happen. I keep thinking it’s been long enough…” His voice trailed away.

They sat in silence as the sun steadily rose over the trees. A frog croaked somewhere in the cattails. 

Maedhros looked up at the bright sky. “Should we head home?” He asked.

“You can go.”

He looked at him with concern.

Maglor shoved at his brother’s shoulder lightly. “I’m okay,” He protested weakly. “I just need to be by myself for a bit.”

“Alright, see you later,” Maedhros stood, slowly slipping his arm from the other’s shoulder. He sloshed to the bank, pushing aside the plants growing nearly higher than his head. He looked back once, when he reached the edge, smiled, and then disappeared. 

Maglor sat on the log for several long minutes before standing.  

#sometimes you have to inflict a situation on a blurbo #maglor is going through it right now #and let maedhros be a good big brother #as he always is #trans masc maglor #and of course i had to add that part about Cele and Cara #the silmarillion #maglor #maedhros #old gods au #grimwing writes