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land-under-wave · 3 years

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As promised, here’s the complete draft of the weird Scott Pilgrim Red/Green fic in its current state. For information about what’s going on with this fic, please see this post. If you’d only like to read completed sections, please start here and keep following the links.

This is very much a rough draft. Aside from simply incomplete sections, there were a lot of things that needed to be revised, such as: awkward tone shift, two sections being too similar to others, a lot of transitions I didn’t like, a really just inadequate Misty section, bad wording choices, etc. I would estimate it was about 85% done.

Content warnings: some amount of creepy old man behavior which I did my best to mitigate but was somewhat unavoidable given the premise. For section-specific warnings, in the first part, Green gets close to panic attack territory, and the ending contains physical slapstick comedy and a few references to Officer Jenny I was trying to edit out. A more detailed warning (which touches on ending spoilers and explains how I tried to handle the creepy behavior) can be found here, and the full spoilers with all the details can be found in this post (also linked above).

A year after Red finally comes down from Mt. Silver, Green gets his head out of his ass long enough to ask Red out on a date.

Surprisingly, Red agrees. Even more surprisingly, the first date is actually a resounding success. Sure, Green panics for half an hour about what to wear, and it gets off to an incredibly awkward start — Red’s mother is hovering anxiously in a corner because he insisted that it be at his mother’s diner, the douchebag, so they spend twenty minutes in stilted conversation while Green makes attempts at small talk and Red gives monosyllabic answers — has he mentioned that Red is a total douchebag? But then Green loses his temper and starts shouting, which gets Red fired up at last, so they start bickering over training regimens, Green’s childhood dickishness, and that time Red vanished up a mountain for four years, and by the end of the meal, they’ve hashed out most of their issues.

On impulse, he grabs Red’s hand on the way out, and Red lets him. His fingers curl around Green’s in response, and it sends a jolt of electricity right up to his spine.

This is . . . good. It’s new and unfamiliar and a little terrifying, and sometimes Green just wants to bury his head into a pillow and scream angrily to deal with the confused tornado raging in his chest, because what the hell are emotions, but it’s good.

A month after they make it official, Green brings Red to a gym leader meeting. Red gets a couple of surprised looks when he walks in, but it fades quickly, and Misty waves him over to the usual corner where she, Brock, and Green sit. If anyone asks, Green is prepared to point out that Red’s still technically champion, but no one does. Everyone must like him enough that it doesn’t matter.

They wait till after the meeting, when everyone’s milling about and talking to each other, in order to announce that they’re dating. That’s when all hell breaks loose.

“What? Green?” Misty shrieks, while Sabrina looks at him with silently judging disapproval.

“Oh my,” Erika says delicately, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth.

“Red, no!” Brock wails.

Green is pretty sure he should be offended. These are his colleagues, after all. He’s been working with them for half a decade — when’s the last time Red even talked to any of these people? Why are they all on his side?

Surge snorts, arms folded. Just when Green thinks he might restore some sanity to the proceedings, he declares, “Think again, boy. You’re not tough enough to make the cut.”

Green bristles immediately. He and Surge have always had a slightly contentious relationship, because Surge is all hard-nosed discipline and Green is — well, he can admit that he’s a cocky bastard. “And why do I need your approval to date Red anyways?” he sneers, with the full disdainful force of all his teenage attitude. The contempt is not hard to muster up. Nobody here is related to them, and even if they were, he and Red are both adults who can make their own decisions.

As expected, Surge stiffens at the implicit taunt in his voice, but just as the tension is about to boil over into an argument, Erika steps in with a raised hand and a warning glare to silence him. “Surge,” she says, and that one word is all she needs to restore order.

Before Green can feel grateful for their calm, sensible supervisor, she turns to him and resumes the thread of conversation. “We have a league,” Erika informs him, serene. “You may not date Red until you defeat all of us.”

Green’s jaw drops open. “Are you serious,” he says, and looks to Red, who just shrugs.

Great. Big load of help he is.

“I’m afraid not, my boy. And I’m afraid you’re no match for me,” Blaine says, before laughing at his own stupid pun.

“Why the hell are you so concerned about Red’s love life anyways? What are you, his possessive loser exes?” Green demands.

He’s expecting a response like, “Don’t be ridiculous,” but instead, to his horror, Erika merely smiles. “What do you think?” she says.

Silence.

Green stares at his colleagues, the seven elite trainers who have been charged with safeguarding all of Kanto, and wonders if he’s losing his mind. Has his hearing gone? He doesn’t think he’s that old, but maybe it’s hereditary. God knows how many times Gramps has misheard his name.

He knows Misty had a crush on Red at one point, but all of them? How the hell did that happen? Red’s never exactly been Kid Casanova here — some days, Green can barely believe Red seduced him — and when did he even have the time for that? He’s spent most of the years since he’s met them alone on a mountain! And hold on a second, Blaine is at least four decades older than him! For that matter, how old is Surge?

Green is about to have an aneurysm.

He holds his head in both hands as he struggles to wrap his mind around the concept. “Okay. So you’re saying all of you have dated Red, and now I need to defeat you to date him,” he says slowly, hoping that saying it out loud will make things sound more reasonable. It doesn’t. It just makes his head hurt even more.

What’s worse, Erika doesn’t correct anything he said. She just smiles and nods. “That’s right,” she says, and as if that’s a cue, the others fall in line behind her in a perfect V formation, sliding into battle-ready stances with smiles just shading into predatory. All traces of friendliness have evaporated, turning them into consummate professionals. Even Brock has dropped the doofy attitude for something serious. Surge’s grin is a little too maniacal for comfort, exposing both gums and teeth, and combined with the glint in his eyes, it’s downright feral.

Green takes a step back, almost involuntarily, and sees Surge’s smile widen in response. Out of spite, Green squares his shoulders and moves back in place, pretending he’s not as uneasy as he actually feels. He scans the seven faces before him, hoping to see a sign of their normal collegial acceptance, but their faces are as solid as stone.

He can’t say he really expected anything else from them. This pose is familiar and well-rehearsed, and they’re all beyond the point where they let the mask slip during official business. Still, Green was hoping that there would be some sign that things would be different for him. After all, this isn’t official business, and in any other situation, Green would be there too, flashing one of his trademark smirks while staring down whatever poor schmuck who Erika decided had earned their ire. But this time, it’s not some hapless criminal or an interfering bureaucrat. He’s the schmuck, and for once in his life, he’s feeling the part.

Green knows he shouldn’t feel this rattled by a battle stance. As a fellow gym leader, it’s easy to notice all the work that went into constructing it, and the flash of eyes and tilt of head that Erika used as a signal is all too familiar. But it gnaws at his stomach anyways, and it’s not even because all his colleagues have turned against him at the drop of a hat. It’s the space. Or the lack of it. Because the spot where he would be standing has already been taken up. Misty and Brock closed the gap without so much as an exchanged look, and in doing so, they’ve erased his years as Viridian Gym Leader like it was nothing.

He didn’t think it would be so easy to replace him.

Green looks at the inch-wide gap between them and swallows, hoping he can swallow down the uncomfortable lump at the bottom of his chest along with it. He’s always tried to ignore it, but sometimes, he gets this sneaking suspicion that they haven’t fully accepted him as one of their own. They’re civil, of course, and sometimes even kind. But kind is different from warm, and that’s what he thinks they lack.

He can’t nail down exactly what it is that separates him from the rest — in terms of join date, Janine’s less than a year his senior, and he doesn’t think any of them except Surge would hold his old, immature attitude against him, since he was mostly grown out of his bratty stage by the time he took over Viridian. But none of that has banished the [sinking feeling] that he’s on the outside, just a little.

So he’s kept his head down like an animal exposing its belly, and every time the doubt rears its ugly head, he redoubles his efforts to earn his way in. He had a hard road from the start, with the stain of Giovanni’s legacy seeped into his gym’s very foundations, but over the years, he’s earned fantastic evaluations, the loyalty of a cohort of talented trainers, and an official commendation here and there. He’s even got a sickeningly gushy page in the Viridian guidebook that made Red laugh at him for twenty minutes straight after one of his challengers showed it to him. When you’re on a mountain with bad reception, those twenty minutes count for a lot.

Green carries all his accomplishments with him, close to his chest, but they don’t do much to dispel the doubts that hang like ghosts in the back of his head. And he thinks that if he stays quiet and still for too long, they might eat him away until he’s nothing.

He sucks in a breath, but his lungs don’t feel like they’re absorbing air. He presses his hands against his thighs, but that doesn’t do anything to ease the trembling. He tries to count in his head. One. Two.

“Wow,” says Red’s voice from behind him. “I didn’t know that all it took to defeat the great Green Oak was dramatic posing.”

The sound of that innocent tone sends Green whirling around on instinct. “Oh, shut up, like you can talk!” he shouts, and it comes out as easy as breathing, so easy that he doesn’t notice how much lighter he feels at first. “All it took to defeat you was realizing Mt. Silver would never return your love!”

“The mountain and I have something special. You’ll never understand, Green,” Red says, very seriously. If it were anyone but Green, they might’ve believed he meant it, but you don’t grow up with someone and not know when they’re just yanking your chain.

“You know, the only thing I got out of being your childhood friend is the ability to tell when you’re being a dick,” Green tells him sourly.

“Love you too,” Red croons, and okay, he’s definitely doing that on purpose. But if he’s doing it to be a distraction, it’s working.

He brushes his hand against Red’s. “Thanks,” he says, low enough so that only Red can hear it. Red curls his fingers around the palm of his hand and looks him in the eye, unspoken question burning in his gaze.

In response, Green draws a breath, takes one final glance at his erstwhile colleagues, and nods.

He can do this.

What he might not be able to do, Green reflects as he starts his first match, is endure any more of Brock’s stupid rock references.

“My Pokemon and I are all rock-hard,” Brock declares proudly. He’s always been cheesy and goofy — probably because of all those younger siblings — but his horrible battle introductions have always taken the cake. And does he realize that by doing this, he’s also teaching his siblings about innuendo? Maybe that’s why they giggle at him all the time.

In all honesty, once you get past all the quirks, Brock is kind of an admirable person. You don’t raise nine kids without earning some respect from Green Oak, and he knows all too well about growing up with absent father figures. But unlike Green, Brock didn’t let that hurt define him growing up. Instead, Brock took on that responsibility without reserve and without complaint, and he grew with it to become a good man. A lot of kind, loving people would’ve broken with it. In comparison, really awful puns and a tendency to hit on every girl in the room aren’t that bad. At least he’s sincere about it instead of just being a sleaze.

But Brock makes it really goddamn hard to get past those quirks. And when he starts urging Onix to use Harden, that only proves his point.

Things go downhill from there.

With the proximity of their gyms, it’s convenient for Green and Brock to have practice matches together, and he uses the knowledge he’s gleaned from those to plow him down in their fastest match yet, one eye twitching the entire time. There’s no way Brock could be making that many hardness references by accident. “I took you for granted, and so I lost,” Brock says glumly. Then he looks in Red’s direction and cries, “Red, my love, I have failed you!” throwing an arm across his face theatrically. Geez, get a grip. Or a life. Or both.

But instead of treating him with the contempt Brock deserves for this patheticness, his traitor boyfriend pats him on the back sympathetically. Ugh, why is he even dating this jerk?

At any rate, at least this catastrophe is over. “Loser,” Green scoffs, and heads out to schedule his next match. He catches Red giving Brock a shrug before following after him.

He never thought he’d say this, but thank god Misty is the Water type Gym Leader. After rocks, they have the most potential for innuendo, but Misty has too much angry dignity to be caught dead like that. If someone tried, steam would come out of her ears and she’d probably yell something about disrespecting the beauty of water types. This shouldn’t be an issue again until Blaine.

Misty might not be a fan of innuendo, but she makes up for it with determination and skill. There’s something different about her this time, a strength in her stance that didn’t used to be there, and it centers Misty too much for him to rattle her.

The first time they fought, she was fourteen years old to Green’s thirteen, a skinny kid who bristled with her inferiority complex and hated anything to do with flowers. Provoking her was a piece of cake, and any suggestion of her inadequacy could send her into a spiral of rage or just as easily send her collapsing in tears.

In hindsight, it is funny how Misty rejected her famous family while Green embraced his too much, opposite ends of the same spectrum. Green dealt with his issues with his cockiness, Misty with her anger.

This Misty is fully in control. She holds the reins to her anger and reels it in, harnessing it as fuel instead of distraction. She’s ruling her emotions instead of letting them rule her, and in doing so, she’s taken on a bright, focused zeal he’s never seen from her before.

She’s growing into herself, he thinks, and out of her sisters’ shadows.

He’d be proud of her if she wasn’t giving him such a hard time right now.

“You definitely weren’t this hard to beat the first time around!” Green growls, sending out his Scizor.

“Oh, that was just business,” Misty says, rather cheerfully, enough so that Green wants to wring her neck. Her smile widens to just this side of menacing. “This is personal.”

Green gets out of it with his dignity intact, but it’s a close one. Not for the first time, he rues having taken over an Earth-based gym, because it means he has to keep at least a respectable amount of Ground types in his regular training rota and he’s a far less flexible trainer now.

“About time you showed up,” Surge says, arms folded, boots planted shoulder width apart. Green looks at the severe military cut and the stern expression and wonders what Red ever saw in him. It can’t be a thing for older men, everyone but Surge and Blaine are within a few years of Red. It can’t even be a thing for men. The league is half women, after all.

“Why did you date him anyways?” he hisses to his boyfriend, low enough that Surge won’t hear.

Red shrugs. “We both like Pikachu,” he said.

The utter loser.

“I can’t believe you,” Green mutters in disgust. “And people think I’m shallow.”

“It was only once or twice,” Red says, in what sounds suspiciously like a consoling tone. He pats Green on the shoulder a few times.

He stares at him in confusion until the dots connect. “What the — I’m not jealous!” Green cries indignantly. He’s just perplexed, and that’s a very different thing. Green Oak is above such petty things as jealousy.

Red just pats him on the shoulder some more.

Green Oak also does not need such things as consoling, so before his boyfriend can be even more of a passive aggressive dick, he turns to Surge. “Let’s just get this over with.” And maybe it’s sheer frustration or his natural tendency to be a brat to Surge, or maybe it’s just type advantage finally being on his side for once, but for some reason, this time the victory comes easier than all the previous.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Green?” Erika asks. She cocks her head to the side, and for the first time since he accepted this stupid challenge, Green feels a sense of trepidation. Erika is, after all, kind of his boss, and she’s also one of the most terrifying people he’s ever met.

You wouldn’t think it to look at her. Most of the people in Kanto never get the chance to see anything more than a sweet woman who likes gardening and flower arrangements. Her colleagues, on the other hand, experience a whole different side of her, with all the talents that got her appointed as Kanto supervisor. Things like her ability to calmly reason with anyone, her backbone of steel, and a carefully hidden serial killer crazy that can outstrip Surge at his worst.

He breaks out into a cold sweat. Is he ready for this? Sure, he’s beaten her before, but the first time he battled her, he was still stupid enough to think Erika was soft and beating her would be easy, and weirdly enough, that stupidity gave him the reckless brilliance he needed to take her down instead of causing his downfall. He might’ve become a better battler in the meantime, but now he’s too cautious to use those same crazy strategies and he also knows that she was taking it easy on him — all gym leaders adjust their level to their opponent’s in official matches.

More than ever, Green is acutely aware of the differences between him and his thirteen year old self. There was a kind of fearlessness that came with being young and feeling like the world was at your fingertips. He spent pretty much his entire Pokemon journey swaggering around like being thirteen meant he was now a real adult and the world would just fall at his feet, and even losing the championship to Red didn’t quite jolt him out of it. Green’s only eighteen now, but he feels unbearably older, more off balance, uncertain of everything he needs to do. It’s funny how he couldn’t wait to get older when he first set out from Pallet Town, but now he just wants the carefree bravado of thirteen again. Why did he decide to grow up? Who told him it was a good idea?

“Backing out now, Green?” says a dry, challenging voice, and all the air goes out of his lungs. But in a good way.

He didn’t have this at thirteen.

Now that he’s back in reality, Green pulls up his disdain like a barrier against his fear. “As if,” he sneers.

“Good. After all, you still have to win me,” Red says. He bats his eyelashes, and the sight is so horrifying that it wipes all thoughts of Erika from his head immediately. “Your princess awaits inside the castle.”

“Princess? Yeah, right. You’d never be able to pull off the dress,” he shoots back automatically. He feels himself ease, the seas inside him settling down as he sinks into the rhythm of the familiar. He even lifts his chin and smirks as he says, “You know what, I think I change my mind. Let’s call the whole thing off, I need someone who’s better-looking than you.”

“Aw, but nothing’s as ugly as your personality,” Red says, and that tone would sound sweet if it weren’t coming from someone who’s halfway allergic to sincerity. But at the same time, he covers Green’s hand with his and gives him a smile like a secret. “You can do it,” he says, with an iron, quiet faith.

Green breathes out, long and slow. “You’re right, I can,” he says, turning back to Erika. He flashes her a smirk full of confidence that he’s actually starting to feel and declares, “I won’t back down.” It comes out as an oath, and he’s not sure if it’s to himself or to Red, but he knows he won’t lose.

She shrugs elegantly, but it doesn’t feel like as much of a threat this time. She’s just an ordinary woman now. “Very well,” she says, and sends out Tangela.

Throughout the battle, Red doesn’t let go of his hand.

Sabrina’s waiting at the door of her gym when Green and Red walk up to the entrance. “You’ve arrived, as I predicted,” she says.

“Uh, yeah, we scheduled the match in advance,” Green points out. Beside him, he can hear Red muffling already-quiet laughter. Why does he enjoy Green’s discomfort? Is he just a sadist?

“We did not arrange that you would arrive twenty minutes early,” Sabrina responds, and turns around to lead him inside before Green can get the last word.

Green fights the urge to make a rude gesture at her back out of sheer spite. He and Sabrina have never been that close. They have a shared interest in freaking people out for fun and games, but Sabrina does it by being sinister and cryptic, while Green prefers sheer power with a dash of douchebaggery instead of mind screws. Even though he knows he’s still a total dick, being around Sabrina makes him feel weirdly benevolent in comparison.

In that regard, she’s a little more like Red—they’re both closed-mouthed and hold their cards close to their chest until something makes them give them away. But it’s weird to think that Sabrina is anything like his boyfriend, so Green shuts off that train of thought as fast as he can. He can’t really explain why he likes Red so much more than Sabrina. It’s not just shared history, there’s something deeper there between them that he can’t quantify. Maybe it’s just that the things Red holds to his chest align with Green’s own brand of awfulness, maybe it’s just that Sabrina somehow manages to be even weirder than Red.

Whatever the case, Sabrina’s tactics might have a point. This battle feels like the worst one yet, not because of the difficulty, but because of the tense, hard air in the gym, Sabrina’s ever-present smile like another ghost skulking in the background. This battle doesn’t excite him, it just exhausts him. He just wants it to be over, and in his haste, he makes mistakes. Sloppy ones, like trying to use Tackle against Gengar even though he’s grown up knowing Normal type moves don’t work on Ghost types. It doesn’t help that the mere presence of Gengar in the Psychic gym had thrown him off to begin with.

Sabrina seems to be sensing his discomfort, because the funny little grin on her face widens with his growing unease. For the first time, he truly sees what a formidable opponent she is, wielding both psychic powers and psychology against her challengers to damage them physically and mentally. It was another thing that his complete and utter self-confidence had made him immune to the first time.

Idly, he wonders if that was the point of this, one big scheme to make him appreciate his colleagues more as trainers. If so, it worked. But was he really that bad before? Maybe he’d ask Erika once this awful quest was over.

If that is the case, though, ironically, it’s also her undoing, because as the match goes on, Green also starts to see the woman he knows inside the mysterious figure at the other end of the gym, and focusing on that familiarity helps combat the unease. In the end, Green can’t really say that it’s his skill that wins the day. It feels more like luck, just a game of who can outlast the other and he happened to draw the winning card. But when Alakazam falls, it seems to break the spell over the room. The lingering tension dissipates, just as ghostly as the atmosphere that had created it, and the world comes back into focus.

Sabrina looks at her fallen Pokemon and, bizarrely, smiles as she recalls it back into its Pokeball. “Your love for Red overwhelmed my psychic power . . . The power of love, I think, is also a kind of psychic power . . .” Sabrina intones.

“Okay?” Green says. Even ignoring the psychic powers, Sabrina has always been a weirdo.

Sabrina says something else, but he’s not really paying attention. Instead, he grabs his boyfriend’s wrist. “Red, let’s get out of here,” he says. He’s ready to blow this joint, and if he has to be in this creepy gym much longer, he’s going to make that literal.

Out of all the other Gym Leaders, Green thinks Janine might be his polar opposite. Sure, they’re around the same age and their names kind of rhyme, but Green is brash and confident and walks like he owns the place, while Janine . . . well, Janine is naive and enthusiastic to the point where she’s pretty much tripping over her own feet. She seems too young for her authority, while Green wields his so easily that people are startled when they find out his actual age.

It’s weird to think that Red could date two such different people. Heck, it’s weird to think that he could get two such different people to date him. Maybe he realized he didn’t like that type and that’s why he’s dating Green now, he muses.

That still doesn’t explain why both Janine and Green agreed to date him. Insanity? That must be it, because it also explains why he’s fighting all of his colleagues over his dick of a childhood friend.

But the biggest difference between them, Green thinks, is that Janine has never gotten over her yearning for her absent father. She still desperately wants to make Koga proud. Even now, he sees in the way she forms her stance that she’s trying to follow his teachings.

Still, in spite of their [different] reactions, struggling to cope with the fame of their family line and its looming shadow over their entire lives is something they have in common. Someday, she’ll have to figure out how she wants to be a gym leader, separate from her father’s legacy. Someday, she’ll have to make a name for herself as Janine, Gym Leader of Fuschia City and not Janine, daughter of Koga. No one will ever respect her if she doesn’t — Green’s learned that the hard way.

Someday, she will have to walk her own path. But that day is not today.

“Are you ready, Green? Cause I’m not going to wait for you to catch up!” Janine calls, sounding very un-ninja-like. Green briefly mourns the loss of the mystique. He used to think ninjas were cool.

“It’s my duty to defeat you on the behalf of all evil exes everywhere!”

“You can’t be serious,” Green says.

“Sure, I am!” Janine says. She pulls out a small, colorful rectangle from somewhere with her magical ninja arts and waves it around. “After all, I’m a card-carrying member of Red’s League of Evil Exes!”

There are cards now. Green looks at his boyfriend and says, “Red, what did you do to them?”

Red just looks at them and shrugs, looking mildly confused himself. But not confused enough that he’ll actually do something about it, Green notes sourly.

Cinnabar’s volcanoes are as fascinating as always, but Green is too busy stewing to enjoy it. He marches past all the ads for hot spring resorts and into the Gym, braced for what lies ahead of him. Blaine is waiting for him inside. “You’ve made it, my boy,” he said, and the expression on his face is almost like a proud parent.

Green scowls. He used to respect Blaine. He is, after all, one of the finest scientific minds in all of Kanto, and while Green isn’t a scientist, Gramps has instilled him with a healthy respect for their work. Even the punning had been bearable. He had earned the right for a quirk.

But this? This was going too far.

Blaine at least has the decency to wait until they’re all set up for battle before he springs the next part of his awful sense of humor on him. “And now, a quiz! What makes you worthy to date Red?” Blaine asks.

“What made you worthy? You’re an old man! Red was a teenager!” Green shoots back. He’s pretty fuzzy on the timeline of Red’s awful lovelife, but there’s no way Red was any older than fifteen whenever the hell they dated. He’s pretty sure Red wasn’t in some demented long distance relationship while still on that goddamn mountain.

Blaine gives him a creaky shrug. “What can I say? Red really lights a fire in my heart,” he chuckles.

“I’m reporting you to Officer Jenny when this is over,” Green informs him. Gym leader or not, perverted old creeps shouldn’t be allowed in society. Especially not the punning ones.

But reporting him to the officer and letting her punish him for his sins would be cheating if Green does it before he beats Blaine fair and square. He doubts the rest of this stupid league would accept that as defeating Blaine and their ridiculous challenge, so he sends out Rhydon and prepares for a fight.

After an excruciating moment, Arcanine falls.

“Oh,” says Red’s voice. Green looks over his shoulder to see him standing along the wall of the gym, near the entrance. It’s completely like the sneaky bastard to come in secret and Green can’t even be mad at him as he looks at the battlefield and asks, “Is it over?”

For a moment, Green doesn’t know how to answer him. He doesn’t even know how to speak. He just breathes, as the adrenaline drains out of his lungs and euphoria replaces it. His shoulders slump. He looks at the ceiling. It’s over. This ridiculous journey is finally over. He can now date Red in peace.

And then the applause starts.

Erika is the first one to emerge, from behind one of the outcroppings of rock near the back of the gym. Brock is next, followed by Misty, while Surge, Janine, and Sabrina come out from the other side. They form a line at the head of the gym, and bizarrely, every single one of them is clapping, even Surge, though he looks like he’s been forced into it. While Green looks at them, too stunned to react, Blaine moves back to take a spot next to Sabrina.

“Congratulations, Green,” Erika says, smiling. She looks genuinely happy for him, as does Janine, but Surge still looks vaguely murderous and Brock looks like he might cry with happiness.

“What’s going on?” Green demands. On closer inspection, Brock’s “about to cry” face is more like a father watching his child leaving on a Pokemon journey, so proud that it’s spilled over to sad. It worsens the distinct feeling that something’s been going on in the background that he doesn’t know about.

Erika coughs delicately. “I’m afraid we must admit to a deception,” she says, serene as ever. “We are not actually a league of Red’s exes.”

If Green gets any more revelations in the next week, he’s going to have a stroke.

After a beat of frozen silence, he splutters out, “You’re not?” in a tone that’s half confusion, half demand for an explanation. He looks all around him and then waves his hand at the entire gym, a gesture which turns sharp and wild with his anger. “Then what was all of this for?”

“Well, we’re not a league of Red’s exes, but we are all members of ‘Red’s League of Allies Against His Evil Ex-Best Friend Who Broke His Heart,’” Misty explains. She frowns at him. “He was pretty torn up over you during his Pokemon journey, you know.”

Dumbfounded, all Green can manage is, “You can’t be serious.”

“But we are,” Janine says earnestly. She produces her card out of nowhere again and hands it over to Green, who’s now close enough to read the letters embossed on the front. It does, as she’s claimed, state Gym Leader Janine of Fuschia City to be a member of Red’s League of Allies Against His Evil Ex-Best Friend Who Broke His Heart. It’s even made out of red plastic.

Well. One part of him is touched to know that Red had valued their friendship so deeply. You wouldn’t know it to look at him, with his stoic man of mystery act.

The other part is just plain indignant. “That was over five years ago!” Green screeches. They started their journeys when they were thirteen, for God’s sake!

A new thought occurs to him. “And if this was all fake, why was Brock going on about his love and hardening?”

“Did he? Oh, that scenery-chewing ham! I knew he would get carried away!” Misty says in disgust.

“I was trying to go for realism!” Brock protests

“That’s only realism for you, you sleazy flirt!” she snaps, and yanks at his ear.

“Ow, ow, ow!” he yelps.

While Misty’s handling that headache, Green tries to replay the conversation where this all started. “I was the one who first brought up the idea that you were exes,” he mumbles, a little horrified.

“Once you made the assumption, I thought it might work to our advantage,” Erika explains calmly. “A test of your reaction to his supposedly storied history, so to speak.”

“So you just made it up on the spot?” Green says, nearly speechless. How on earth had he fallen for a hastily thrown together scheme? What had it even been centered around, seeing if he was the kind of douchebag who’d storm off and call Red a slut? He’s Green Oak. You don’t get to be one of the top trainers in Kanto by the time you’re fifteen without being a good strategist.

Then again, clearly, all of his colleagues are absolutely insane. No one ever taught Green how to anticipate that.

Erika smiles apologetically. “Please do forgive us, Green, but we had to make sure you two were serious about this. Your friendship ended so badly, and we didn’t want this to end the same way. After all, the poor boy was so heartbroken that he went up a mountain to get away from you.”

Green’s jaw drops. “Okay, that one was not my fault!” He’s willing to accept the blame for being a dick, for being generally unhelpful with Team Rocket, and a lot of other things, but he draws the line at the goddamn mountain.

“Sabrina?” asks Janine curiously.

The psychic in question is studying her nails, looking bored. “My powers aren’t meant to be used for answering this sort of nonsense,” she says. “Ask him yourself.”

“Hold up!” Green shouts, before they can get too off topic. “How was this supposed to make sure I was serious about him?”

“You can be a fickle, capricious sort of person, Green,” Erika explains. “So we thought that, with a series of challenges in your way, if this was some kind of idle whim, you would abandon your quest.”

Green tries to wrap his head around that logic and fails. “How was that supposed to work?” he demands. “What if I was just in it for the challenge of beating the entire Kanto League again and not for Red?”

Erika just smiles. “You don’t have enough of a death wish for that,” she says, like she’s sentencing someone to execution.

Green freezes and feels his spine go rigidly straight at the sound of her tone. That smile looks sweet at first glance, but it’s just a little too perfect, a little too gentle, carefully controlled in a way that says she could easily let that control snap at a moment’s notice. It’s the kind of smile that might be the last thing you see before you die.

Holy Arceus, there are no words in the universe to describe how terrifying Erika is.

Green breaks eye contact as soon as he can and shakes his head a few times, just to get out the lingering feeling of dread. He quickly turns his mind to another topic. “Okay, so who really has dated Red?” he asks, just to get everything straightened out once and for all.

“None of us. Particularly not me,” Blaine answers. “You young whippersnappers are practically infants.”

“Misty did ask him out once, but he turned her down,” Brock chips in.

“Hey! That was years ago, and I’m over him anyways!” Misty splutters, cheeks bright red. She shoulders him hard in the chest and snarls, “Stop bringing that up!” still blushing furiously.

“Ow, that hurts!” Brock yelps.

“You deserve it!” Misty hollers back, and the two of them start arguing again.

You know what, maybe Green doesn’t need to get revenge for all the innuendo after all. Misty’s been doing a pretty good job of enacting it for the both of them.

Misty stomps on Brook’s foot, and Blaine winces. “Please don’t call Officer Jenny,” he says.

In the chaos, Green realizes there’s one party they’ve forgotten about entirely. “And you!” He whirls around and points at his erstwhile boyfriend, whose expression is blankly nonchalant. To a stranger, he might’ve even looked innocent. “There’s no way they could’ve gotten away with it unless you played along! But you haven’t dated any of them!”

“Nope,” he confirms, wearing a funny little smile on his face. He’s clearly enjoying himself, and the smugness of his expression only increases as he coos out, “You’re my one and only.”

That tone he’s using is the stuff of nightmares, and Green blanches, reeling back on instinct. He can hear Red laughing at him inside his head. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he demands, refusing to let that deter him.

“It was funny,” Red says, and then, in a perfect deadpan, “Besides, it was a nice revenge. You drove me up a mountain, after all.”

Green is at least seventy-five percent certain that isn’t true and Red’s just playing along to be a douchebag. “Why, you—!” he growls, and instinct born of ten years of childhood games takes over. He tackles him to the ground, fisting his hands into his shirt so he can drag him up by the collar. He hears someone shout behind him, and it’s probably because they’re a little too old for roughhousing, but Red, Red understands him. Red doesn’t panic or protest. Red just lifts his head to meet his glare with a smirk, and then leans up, grabs his head, and kisses him.

There’s still noise in the background, but it fades away as the world becomes nothing but Red.

Later, while they’re falling asleep, Green asks, “You didn’t really go up the mountain because I broke your heart, did you?”

“No,” Red answers, but before Green can let out a breath of relief, he says, “I went up there cause you were so annoying that I wanted a break from you.”

In a display of supreme maturity, Green kicks Red in the shins. Some things never change.

#Fanfiction #Pokemon #OriginalShipping #Green Oak #Red #Crack #Scott Pilgrim AU #At Last I Am Rid of the Albatross

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freewheelshippin · 3 years

Text

Major insomnia and heartache in this chili’s tonight (this morning), so here we are with a quick little fic about two dum dums learning how to share heartache.(SFW, no major content warnings I can think of.)

next day edits: well, now that it’s not ass o’clock, i went back in and tidied this up and added a fair amount more!! (much more satisfying ending instead of something so abrupt, haha.) doesn’t add any further content warnings, tho!

Maybe he shouldn’t have pushed her, he thought as she tensed and her demeanor changed entirely.

“I want to know,” he continued, resolutely.

“Everyone says that,” she spat. “And nobody actually does.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” Ranmaru barked. “You heard me out when I told you about everything. Were you lying all those times you listened? Pretending to care just long enough I get over myself and shut up and move on?!” He knew, in his heart of hearts, of course she wasn’t, but the way she said it insulted him so badly he could practically taste the bitterness.

She paused, looking to the side ruefully, shamefully. He had a feeling she’d struggle with eye contact this conversation, and he slouched his arms together, dropping back onto the couch with an irritated sigh, out of her line of sight.

“....No. Absolutely not. Look, this … is different.”

“How,” he growled. “You want to fucking talk about it. I tell you I’ll listen, it’s the least I owe you, and you say ‘no.’ You think I’m not gonna say ‘why’ after you shit all over my answer like that?”

She took a longer time than usual to find words, so just a few empty seconds where he waited, frustrated and somewhat furious at the disconnect.

“...You’re right that I shouldn’t have put it like that. That was shitty, and I’m sorry. But there’s...just...some kinds of life experiences that I’ve found nobody has any reason to learn to understand if it doesn’t happen to them. And...nobody’s prepared to deal with it -- meaningfully, anyways -- even secondhand.”

“Are you just looking for excuses to run away from--” He nearly hesitated over the words, realizing what they were almost a second too late, but marching forward with them anyway. “--trusting me?”

Another pause. “....I don’t know. I...can’t think of a time I’ve talked about it and….it hasn’t been taken from me.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

“It means....” She lingered long enough that Ranmaru worried, rousing himself a bit from staring blankly at the ceiling as he sprawled on the couch. She hadn’t moved from where she had been standing, but she looked at a far-off bare wall with nothing on it. “...that...the way people aren’t,” Another pause, as she searched for the word, “magically equipped with how to deal with it. It...turns me from a person into….anything else.”

“Like what.”

“An after-school lesson. Entertainment. A new toy. A pet. A messiah to burn later, if I’m being really dramatic and cynical. I don’t know, it depends on what flavor of asshole feels like coming out, and it’s never anything good.”

“Then tell them they’re being an asshole -- tell me I’m being an asshole -- and don’t quit until you get what you want out of them!”

“Look!” She finally lost that last twinge of polite restraint, of saying things more nicely than Ranmaru thought was worth bothering with. “What if I didn’t know how to do that, ‘cause how could I?! And what if I don’t want to have to fight every fucking time? What if I just want to be important enough to get it right on to begin with?! And-- don’t give me that shit about being so strong, you’ll survive the mistakes, blah blah -- fuck that! I’m tired of it! I’m not a crash-test dummy! So fucking crucify me for not buckling in to crash myself into who fuckin’ knows what just ‘cuz you got it in your head this is how you’ll repay this stupid friend debt you think you’re in -- you’re not! Just---” she grunted exasperatedly, her uncharacteristic stillness disappearing as she felt less cornered.

“I don’t care if you think I don’t owe you!” Ranmaru shot back. “I do! I want to even the score! If you did right by me, then I gotta do right by you! It’s how I do things, and I’m not about to just forget and let you keep diggin’ yourself into this hole--” (this hole I know very well, Ranmaru thought) “-- where you get so hellbent on doin’ it on your own you cut down all your vision, ‘n your potential, ‘n all the ways you reach it, ‘cuz you keep having to re-invent the wheel just to take a step forward with all the shit you’re carrying!”

“Will you stop trying to quantify this!?”

“I’m not! I’m just tellin’ you what I think, and I’m right!” (I know I’m right because of y--)

“Okay! Maybe you are! About the hole thing -- not the whole thing, the -- the fuckin pit, not the whole-- ah, fuck it, you know what I mean! But I still think this debt system you keep putting basic acts of friendship into is dumb as shit!”

Ranmaru could already feel the point of this argument slipping away from them. “Are you gonna tell me what’s eating at you so bad or not?!”

She froze again. “---I’m. ….No. I’m not. I...my heart’s not ready, if things....go badly again.”

“Fine,” Ranmaru said, resolutely. He was hurt, in a small way, but he felt better that she was at least being truthful, and least acting out of her best interest, not some idiotic idea of useless martyrdom. H couldn’t fault her for protecting her heart. He, of all people, couldn’t possibly do that.

“...then I’ll work to be someone worthy of the trust you deserve,” he murmured, somewhat less resolutely.

The words just came out of him before he could think better of it, so Ranmaru hadn’t considered any reaction to expect. But stunned silence, then sniffling tears, that was probably the reaction he’d been least prepared to deal with.

“Oi-- don’t---” Ranmaru leapt to his feet, like he were a startled prey animal. “Don’t cry!”

“Don’t tell me what to do!” she huffed through a miserable, contorted, crying face. “Come here, you stupid bastard!” She came towards him with arms outstretched, only just enough warning for Ranmaru to open his own and receive the gesture, an awkward stalwartness to him as he stiffly supported her while the tears ran their course.

“I think it’s amazing how when you say shit like that,” she murmured, her arms tight around his chest. “I really do believe you mean it.”

“....’cause I do,” Ranmaru grumbled, realizing his face burned just a little as she squeezed tighter, and he felt just a little colder when she let go.

“...It’s not about you changing yourself, you know,” she continued, busying herself with cleaning up her tears and snot. “It’s not about you not being enough. You know that, right?”

“...I don’t care if it is. I’d want to do it. I know you don’t expect people to be anyone but who they are. Whatever change I’d have to make was one I should be working on, anyway.”

“Oh, god,” she sighed, stepping away to the nearest sink to wash her face, but there was a smile on her voice. “I really can’t underestimate how seriously you take everything.”

“I told you. I’m always serious about what I do,” he muttered, a little sourly, as the faucet ran.

“Charm point~!” she called from the bathroom in such a silly, mocking voice Ranmaru could hardly believe she’d been crying like she had just a bit ago.

“Shut up! Stop saying weird shit like Reiji!”

“Oh.” She came back with an ominous smile, a little at odds with her puffy eyes and smudged eyeliner. “Well, that’s how I know I really hit the nail on the head.”

“What’s so charming about taking things seriously,” he bristled. “It’s just what people should do!”

She laughed, so genuinely, so warmly, Ranmaru felt a twinge in his stomach. Maybe it was pride, maybe something else he didn’t want to unpack just yet.

“C’mere,” she said again, despite going right to him, wrapping her arms around his waist tightly before leaning back, hoisting him higher until his toes dragged against the floor. Ranmaru let it happen, feeling his weight shift onto hers as she growled into the effort of getting him into the air, even with his extra height on her. He complained about these kinds of hugs, once, but had since grown so used to them, there was something about them he could admit to liking.

“...Alright, alright. Put me down. Oi. Don’t swing me around, put me down!” The cats had gathered around, looking ready to pounce at his toes and pant legs as they waved through the air.

“Is big baby scared of heights,” she said with that facetious tone that always got him.

“Who said anything about that!? Put me down before the cats get on me -- like -- damn it, exactly like that!” One took a flying leap, batting at his legs until her claws her tangled into his pant leg. He could feel her grin into his shoulder as she obliged, slowly enough that the cats could get out of the way.

“It absolutely is what people should do,” she murmured, flopping back around him after he freed the the paw from its fabric prison (and his pants from any more catscratches). “You’ve just got the big stupid, stubborn heart to follow through with it. With literally everything you do.”

“...Tch.” Ranmaru wrapped his arms around her then while he felt his cheeks, the tips of his ears prick with heat. “Of course you’d make it about heart. It’s not, it’s about the ways souls burn when you give ‘em the right passion and drive....”

“Mmhmm,” she said, squeezing one last time before she released again. “Heart. It’s very rock of you.” She patted him on the back as she slipped out from his arms. “I’m gonna get myself a glass of water, you want one?”

“...Oi. It’s not --” He sighed. “Whatever. Yeah, I’ll take one,” he replied, stretching back over the couch.

She disappeared, and ice and water clinked into glasses. Ranmaru, for a stolen moment, rested his right hand over his chest, quietly lingering at how open and warm it felt beneath all the skin, muscle, and bone.

Even if she didn’t like the idea of it being a debt, Ranmaru swore to himself that he would’t let this sort of favor go unreturned. It was how he did things, after all.

#iron maiden & rocka rolla #scribblings

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phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess · 7 years

Note

1-100

…are you joking

no one on this earth wants to know that much about me

you asked for it:

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

The intention is always more cereal than milk, and yet… it always ends up being the opposite.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

…as an Australian, NO

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

Heh, what DON’t I use?

Receipts, assignments, old documents, letters, other books, string, anything i can lean it against and hold it open with, etc.

even the odd obliging cat’s paw for a few minutes

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

~I drink neither, I am boring like that~

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

Yeah, I’m aware of how fucking ridiculous I look when I smile, and my non-perfect teeth.

6: do you keep plants?

not currently, but I used to have sunflowers and such

7: do you name your plants?

not usually, which is odd bc i name literally everything else

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

~writing~

words are easy

have tried painting and drawing but i’m just so shithouse at it

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Y~E~S

all the time

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

All, depends on the day really.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

Well, a few years back for some reason some irl friends and I would randomly start singing the Narwhals Narwhals song, or reply ‘the dirt is gone!’ after anyone said ‘Bam!’

but recently? online? uhhhhhhh… well, i send shitty mouse-drawn-in-Paint pics to the ever-patient camiluna27 and she finds polite things to say about them… which is our little joke

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Like my favourite Sailor Scout, it’s Jupiter.

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

Our foster puppy is coming today

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

it wouldn’t matter what it looked like, we’d make it work even if our only furniture was a minifridge and a beanbag… sharing the chores, watching stupid shit at night, complaining or joking with each other, etc.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

It takes 230 million years for our solar system to make a single orbit around the Milky Way.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

Tuna Mornay (? never been sure how it’s spelled tbh)

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

BLUE

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

my brain is blanking, and yet last night i know i was recalling something really stupid…

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

Nah, i just shitpost my angst or delight onto this site…

20: what’s your favourite eye color?

I have no preference for eye colour.

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

Oh, I got this shoulder bag thing from The Harry Potter Experience when it came to Australia… it’s half-covered in an ever-changing bunch of badges (keep losing and finding them/getting new ones). it’s been left in the sun, saturated, pelted with hail as i ran for cover, etc.

22: are you a morning person?

I never used to be… but since the antidepressants, i’m finding mornings way easier.

23: what’s your favourite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

mess about on the computer, usually

video games or writing something, or chatting with people i can no longer see physically/it would be super expensive to meet irl

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

yeah, a few

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

???? who in the hell is breaking into enough places to have a top ten list?

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

Heh, I just have a handful of cheap-ass shoes I got from Big W a few years ago and I get cheap insert things to keep them alive. I randomly put on any pair i can find, whether they match the outfit or not… what other choice do you have with big lady feet and soft skin?

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

Fruity

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset.

Sunrise means I’ve been awake too long and have Fucked Up ™

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

not to bring her up consistently, but camiluna27 literally drew fanart of one of my fanfics (the first ever??? holy shit) and I was so goddamn flattered I almost couldn’t believe it… someone liked my trash and DREW SOMETHING?

such talent. much love. so excite. wow.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Pfft, yeah, probably.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

Socks are good.

I am making a sock right now, in viking fashion, it looks ridiculous.

Sleep? In winter, sometimes.

MISMATCHED SOCKS WERE A GODDAMN FASHION STATEMENT AT SCHOOL HELL YEAH

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

Well there were two funny things.

the first one was this massive sleepover party, and the minute the lights went off with all these adolescents sardined on the floor (teens but like, everyone was just chilling nothing nsfw happening), the marshmallow war began

it’s 3am and people are being PELTED with the goddamn things in the dark it was chaos.

the other time, i’d gone to a party thing, put up a tent to stay over like the others and this other girl at the party i’d just befriended (along with her highly anxious friend i managed to calm down) was not sure how to get home and i’m like… stay in my tent i have space it’s chill

we’re sleeping in jeans bc that seemed like a good idea at the time (it was NOT)

everyone’s STARVING. like, no real FOOD was at this party (New Years party?) we had chips and softdrink and that was it… and i dunno if you know this, but no amount of like, chicken-flavoured chips will fill up the aching hollow in your stomach for Real Food

so we’re talking bc we’re awake, relative strangers who are starving together in a tent they’re intending to share the night in, and we get on to SUPERNATURAL

i loved the show still it wasn’t the disaster it became, yet… and she admits that the S1 episode with the Wendigo freaked her out… and i’m like, hah, yeah, glad we’re not in a tent with woods around, huh? bc i am an asshole… that was pretty much where we were

and around the same time, the free-roaming chickens on the property are slowly moving past and making satanic noises, freaking her out more so i changed the topic to calm things down… but then, later on (waaaaaaaaay too early in the morning bc some of us had to pee early and it was Effort™ ) i get back to the tent to find a Chicken. In. The Tent.

looking at me like *I* was being the asshole here for intruding on her rest.

the other chick-a-dee is sleeping and im thinking ‘well fuck she’ll freak if the chicken’s randomly there when she wakes… and i try to subtly get the chicken out, and if you know chickens… you can understand how i failed

it was hilarious, and disastrous.

33: what’s your fave pastry?

don’t know, really

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

Oh! I still have them.

There’s two, one called (creatively) Teddy, who wore a yellow onesie the Parental Unit made for him. My fondest memory of him was this time in kindy where we took our teddies in bc it was ‘Teddy Bear Picnic Day’, and during naptime, the teachers took the teddies and hid them around the playground…

We had to find them when we woke up.

Teddy had one foot in the top of the fence and looked like he was trying to leave/escape… i told the Parental Unit this story a thousand times over the years, the poor bugger.

The other one was made for me, after Parental Unit had a dream i’d be a girl. Her name is Heidi (you know, after the song? ‘Heidi, Heidi, Heidi ho, the elephant walks oh so slow’), she’s a pink elephant in a tutu and lovely and she and ted are hella safe for now.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I do like them, and when i get a special pen i use it for EVERYTHING, then flounder to find a basic pen when it runs dry

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

I don’t know, i’m not really feeling anything.

What’s that song that’s just 3 minutes of silence?

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

>.> Messy

When it’s clean, it’s Clean ™

But when it’s messy… >.>

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

*unfurls list*

people who stand in the way and block entire corridors to chat with someone and there’s a public bench RIGHT THERE

capitalism

i can’t remember any others right now but i know there’s LOTS…

39: what colour do you wear the most?

Most of my outfits have black in them. We can pretend it’s slimming.

40: think of a piece of jewellery you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have a dragon ring, my estranged godmother bought it for me from this massive local market we once went to, back in like 2007/2008?

I love it so much for some reason (not so much th godmother tbh, she’s a pain) and it’s mass-produced, but i love it… wear it almost everywhere

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

Out of the Black Land by Kerry Greenwood

42: do you have a favourite coffee shop? describe it!

~nope~

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Well, I looked up at them on the way inside the other night and pointed them out to the Parental Unit. They’re pretty stunning here, without city lights to obscure them.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

??????????????????? that’s a thing?

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

Perpetually, always.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I can’t, you’ll punish me.

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

that mayonnaise-peas pizza thing i just saw, WHY

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I feared the wild animals in the dark when i was locked outside, and also feared Huntsman Spiders.

Today? the spiders and anything in the dark can square the fuck up, and fight my fear of disappointing everyone/failing

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

used to, but the CD player in the car broke… so now i just use the ipod/itunes

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

…monster high dolls, hardy boys books, comic books

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh mind blank

52: what are your favourite memes of the year so far?

Cask of Amontillado and Joe Biden memes have been awesome

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

Rocky Horror? Good, interesting.

heathers? pulp fiction? no

beetlejuice? seemed a lot more exciting when i was little

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

our puppy

she’s learned the exact sad face to make when she wants someone to go outside and play ball

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

can’t think of anything overtly, honestly

unless you count ‘yeah i can use a swivel chair instead of a ladder’ and the inevitable falling through a bookcase

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

Honesty, Humour, Excitement and Communication/Connection, Creativity

When they energise, not drain

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

it has always been interesting, and it makes you feel dramatic…

i can neither confirm nor deny…

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

no idea

59: what’s your favourite myth?

define myth

like ‘mermaids are a thing’, or ‘that time a god did _____’ or like, ‘swimming right after eating can give you stomach cramps’?

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

used to

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

uhhhhhhhh literally any fanfic i give as a gift, is stupid

i got two little plastic dicks as a joke gift from someone as a secret santa thing (another time i got a $2 piece of trash bag thing the size of my hand that broke the second i touched it, and i was rather upset)

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

no, but my fave juice is apple blackcurrant or tropical

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

well, depends, i try to keep the series together and stuff, but mostly it’s ‘if it fits, it sits’ in the bookshelf

64: what colour is the sky where you are right now?

obscenely blue, like, you’d think it was computer generated blue

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

Yeah

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

…something with blue flowers, but let’s be real, the chance to wear a flower crown would be amazing even if they were all corpse flowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

they are otherworldy and beautiful, they have a different energy to sunny days

68: what’s winter like where you live?

Cold. Stubbornly wearing shorts and tank tops claiming you’re not cold. putting four layers on the bed bc what. the. FUCK.

69: what are your favourite board games?

Cluedo, Monopoly

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

Nah, that seems like a terrible idea. I refuse to be That White Girl™ who invites demons in…

71: what’s your favourite kind of tea?

Mortali-tea

Nah, none, i don’t drink tea or coffee, i am BORING.

I am the Beige of people, beverage-wise.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

Sometimes. Esp. recently, I find noting it down helps, but usually I remember more than i assume i will.

73: what are some of your worst habits?

Lazy/procrastinate, eats stupid shit I SHOULD NOT BC I AM FAT AS FUCK, overthinks, boring.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

amazingly talented, fun, incredibly aesthetically pleasing, open, understanding, brilliant and a pleasure to interact with.

75: tell us about your pets!

Okay, so we have four cats and a doggo.

The two oldest cats are sisters, aged 11; very loving but also tiny murder machines so they’re inside mostly.

Two youngest half-siblings, aged 7; one is the perpetual kitten who loves affection, the other is a slinky boi who comes to you if he wants love, and not before (adores my sibling tho, their bond is strong).

Doggo is the baby, she’s 3 i think? Always energetic.

+ a foster puppy we just got today, just now, and she’s fuckin’ adorable but like, a massive ball of energy.

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

cleaning

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

PINK hell yeah

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

HATE

i will fight ALL of them to the DEATH

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

Listened to me complaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaain

Also drew me art for no reason i mean, c’mon that’s so cute

80: what colour are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

Light blue, yep. loved it, and also it went with the underwater theme the family did

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

Amazing as orbs go.

82: are/were you good in school?

generally, shit at chemistry though (but then, if an entire class fails an exam, you don’t ask the students whose fault it is)

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

uhhhh not sure

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

maybe dunno

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

my dude, so many.

Batman, Nightwing, Wonder Woman, Teen Titans, The Titans, ElfQuest, Avengers, New Avengers, Saga, Hawkeye, uhhhhhhhhh, like, i have HEAPS...

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i have no idea what that is

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

St Trinians, love that movie...

AVATAR

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

...good question, i have no idea what you’re asking

89: are you close to your parents?

The Parental Unit literally knows every facet of my being bc i can discuss anything with them. Even if we clash on ideologies or whatevs.

The Other One’s a violent stalker, so no, not that one.

90: talk about your one of you favourite cities.

I have been to like, Brisbane and Sydney... not a huge pool of cities to compare from. Uh, I like that there are so many comic book shops in brisbane tbh...

91: where do you plan on travelling this year?

Probs Brisbane.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

Depends on the type of pasta, really.

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

Plaits. Keeps it out of the way.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

Sibling. I went all out with their gifts and am barely making it to monday... but it was worth it.

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

>get foster puppy

>chill/be boring bc you are the human equivalent of the colour beige

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

Procrastinate, mostly. ‘Restart required’ lol nope, you can wait...

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

ENTP, Gemini, Gryffindor

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

oh god no. Grade 9 they had this youth action program... sent us orienteering in the bush... up a mountain, down a moutain, through the fucking lantana six times because the boys in the class have the map and can’t fucking read it right but ‘girls can’t read maps so why would we give it to you’...

it was a goddamn disaster, but we survived. hated it, so much

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Sia’s ‘The Greatest’, ‘Move Your Body’ and ‘Unstoppable’

‘This is Gospel’, ‘Emperor’s New Clothes’, ‘Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time’, and ‘Golden Days’ by Panic! at the Disco

‘Never Coming Back to Earth’ by Steve Aoki & Fall Out Boy

Most of the songs by Lindsey Stirling

‘Heroes’ by Generdyn

‘I Hope You Die In A Fire’

‘Wait For It’ and ‘History Has Its Eyes On You’ from HAMILTON

‘Assassin, Murder, Monster’ and ‘Chase the Morning’ from REPO! the Genetic Opera

‘The Beauty Underneath’ from Love Never Dies

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I’d slam both at once and launch myself into a temporal paradox so i simultaneously never existed and also always existed therefore becoming a GOD...

#Anonymous

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