#too many sassy atheists | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

asterigos · 1 year

Photo

GENERAL INFORMATION

► FULL NAME: Regan Sloane ► ALIAS: Juliette Maes ► GENDER & PRONOUNS: Cis Woman (She/Her) ► AGE: 32 ► BIRTHDAY: March 6 ► SEXUAL ORIENTATION: Homosexual ► OCCUPATION: Bodyguard / Hired Muscle (for heists)

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

► RELIGION: Atheist ► EDUCATION LEVEL: High School ► ECONOMIC STATUS: Middle-Class ► SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English (fluent), Greek (advanced)

PERSONALITY

► JUNG TYPE: ESFP ► ENNEAGRAM: Type 6w5 ► MORAL ALIGNMENT: True Neutral ► TEMPERAMENT: Choleric ► QUALITIES: Adaptable, Daring, Determined, Outspoken, Reliable ► FLAWS: Defiant, Deflective, Immoral, Provocateur, Sassy

APPEARANCE

► FACE CLAIM: Lyndsy Fonseca ► HEIGHT: 5’5” ► EYE COLOR: Blue ► HAIR COLOR: Brunette ► TATTOOS: Fer-de-lance snake winding around upper right arm, Raven pierced by arrow on lower left arm ► SCARS: ~2 inch scar over left hip from knife wound ► PIERCINGS: Left Earlobe (one); Right Earlobe (one)

BIOGRAPHY

Trigger Warning(s): Death (patricide, threats)

Regan grew up in a house of contradictions: her mother, Meriam, was a police officer and her father, Leonidas, was a mercenary. Two sides of the law under one roof. Her father, however, kept his job a secret and lied to the family about being a “9-5 paper pusher,” as he called it. Not wanting to have to deal with any court hearings or other legal matters that would inconvenience him, when he learned that Meriam was pregnant with twins he begrudgingly accepted to stick around and help raise them while secretly figuring out how to work with his new responsibilities as a parent while also being a mercenary. Meriam, her time being entirely taken up by motherhood and her career, accepted and didn’t often question Leonidas’s more questionable behavior such as his evasiveness when asked personal questions or when he went on abrupt business trips. As both parents were busy with their own lives they never married, which became a topic that both Regan and Kassandra disliked speaking about with others because of how it led to too many invasive questions than they felt like dealing with.

When she was home, Meriam taught Kassandra and Regan about the law with the hope and expectation that they would abide by them. She taught them some self-defense, but she was often too busy or too exhausted to spend much time with her daughters when she was home leaving them to keep themselves preoccupied. Leonidas, on the other hand, taught the girls how to break into and hotwire cars, how to break into buildings and homes, how to pickpocket, and how to fight. This was all under the guise of various excuses he’d give Meriam about how it’d be useful for the twins to know if they were ever in trouble and needed to collect evidence or break out of a situation with brute force.

Regan was much more receptive to their father’s lessons than Kassandra who was skeptical about why they were truly being taught them. With no solid evidence to bring to their mother about his dubious teachings and motives she said nothing at the time. Leonidas, as a result, became more distant with Kassandra and began to focus his attention more on Regan while Kassandra became closer with Meriam and frequently spoke of wanting to follow in her footsteps with stamping out crime and upholding the law. Regan was usually at odds with their mother as she questioned the criminal justice system and unfairness and contradictory ways in which the law was enforced and how those who opposed it were punished.

In time Leonidas revealed to Regan that he was a mercenary. Although initially surprised by the news, his behavior and knowledge of criminal acts made much more sense to her. He swore her to secrecy, which she didn’t mind following, though he had threatened her with death if she were to ever reveal the truth about him to anyone. Kassandra had meant to be out with friends, but due to plans that fell through she stayed home though hadn’t said anything. She overheard the conversation yet rather than leap into action, when she revealed the information to her mother, Meriam brushed it all under the rug as she didn’t want to upend her whole life in order to put Leonidas on trial and behind bars.

The revelation of their father being a mercenary caused a large rift in the relationships between everyone. Leonidas fled from their house in the middle of the night after a heated argument where Meriam and Kassandra were on one side with him on the other and Regan unsure of where she should stand. After his departure, Regan soon followed once she’d finished high school and had no desire to pursue a college degree as she grew weary of the oppressive atmosphere of the house that her mother and sister created out of resentment towards her.

She picked up part-time, odd jobs here and there often in line with criminal activities until she settled with being a bodyguard. On the side she would take up the position of hired muscle for heists after being introduced to the work by coworkers at the security company she worked for. After some time she quit her job and became a freelance bodyguard where she could manage everything herself from her clientele to her prices. Regan remained open for heist jobs as she enjoyed the thrill they provided her whereas her bodyguard work was something to keep her busy between them.

Regan became so absorbed in her own life she had never searched for her father, but learned one day that Kassandra was promoted to police sergeant upon the success of the case where she played a key role in hunting him down. While the goal had been to apprehend and arrest Leonidas, she had instead killed him and fabricated a believable and accepted excuse for his death.

RELATIONSHIPS

► MOTHER: Meriam Sloane (police officer) ► FATHER: Leonidas Aetos (mercenary; deceased) ► SIBLINGS: Kassandra Sloane (police sergeant; fraternal twin) ► OTHER: Luka Griffin (bar owner / fence; friends)

MISC INFORMATION

► At first fascinated by her father’s secret life when she was younger, she’s now frustrated by her father’s influence in her life as she feels like she’d been conditioned by him to become a criminal thus hindering her ability to have ever chosen a different path in life. However, she doubts she would’ve done so. ► Her involvement in the criminal world and the clients she’s taken on as a bodyguard have left her jaded and cynical towards humanity. ► Disillusioned by life and the relationships she prefers to surround herself with other people despite her generally low opinion of them to distract herself from feeling like she’s coasting through life and the emptiness and loneliness she feels from not having had any strong, genuine relationships. Greatly irritated with herself for feeling this way as she also pushes people away. ► Describes herself as untrusting and emotionally unavailable yet tends to offer to listen to others when they’re troubled. She’ll give advice that may be immoral, extreme, harsh, something that the other person doesn’t want to hear yet needs to, or a combination of any of those. Will help out others here and there on occasion.

#*character overview

0 notes

thecharizardfromhell · 3 years

Text

My TotV AU: Changes and things kept

Note- Soneone took down the wiki so I may have to dig through archive sites to find my old CANON sources

What the hell is TotV : Tales of the Valkyr is an original story/fan fiction hybrid with a canon au (Scars) written by Canadian YouTuber Lily Orchard it also has ties to several fictional properties namely Family Guy, MLP:FIM, and WoW.

Why have an AU: I like some of the ideas just not how they were implemented

So if you're at least partially familiar with the source here are my biggest changes

-some characters have been cut from the plot. Namely Elethyn, Mags, Honey Crisp, Ellie, Ascentias's rapist, the cast of mlp, Megsalyn (basically meg from family guy) and Jehovah.

Elethyn-owner wants her to not be tied to the TotV plus I have much darker/more in line with character plans for the Ascentia romance plots. Mags- personal taste honestly I feel like an uwu babu sassy child whose colorful and quirky plot clashes with my themes. Plus I'm not a huge fan of writing this type of character . Honey Crisp-see Mags, Ellie-is it mean to say she's basically a pallette swapped Elethyn with less personality?, Ascentias's Rapist- a plot device that revolves around molestation yeah I'm going dark but I'm not the biggest fan of using that for shock value . The Cast of MLP-there will be unicorns but not these ones I replaced Twilight's being a war bride to Ascentia with a humanoid character however. Megsalyn- because she shouldn't be alone without her creek buddy no actually it's because its such a weird ass plot inclusion that clashes with my vision . Jehovah because that whole plot had super inconsistent holes and was overall a bit like a cringy reddit atheist screed (I say this as an atheist by the way lol )

-characters changes/kept ideas

Valkyr in general-theyre a authoritarian fascist totalitarian government not a monarchy (which they never showed traits of-Lily please fucking research politics ). They like many fascist cultures are obsessed with the idea of purity based on race something I didn't add it's in the original ) but there is a large resistance movement who distrusts Valithra and her ideas and policies . Forced military service is a facet of their society (including to altered prisioners of war), polygamy with war brides/husbands/partners is practiced amongst the "most pure" aka those closest to Valithra but is discouraged among the "commons". Marriage in general is discouraged and outright denied amongst the commons due to Valithra's eugenics mindset. Gay marriage is surprisingly legal but once again more encouraged to the "most pure". Religion is based on the idea of Valithra as a fallen goddess. You can executed on the whims of Valithra and to a lesser degree Ascentia. Most pures have the mysterious ability to regenerate and come back to life (along with bringing others back) Valithra claims it's due to genetic superiority but that seems oddly suspicious doesn't it? (not getting into spoilers), gender identity is only respected amonst the "most pure" sadly . Experimentation on prisoners of war and prisoners is commonplace. They are not Nomads and have several cities nations etc. The Capital of Auralvana (I changed the name) is the head and home of the mysterious ancient Citadel (forbidden to most). Killing and violence is taught in schools . Pro Valithra propaganda is common as Is media suppression. Economy is being worked out (I'll figure that out I swear but it's probably capitalist)

Valithra Ryder-im keeping her iteration as a cis woman to fit her new backstory. I actually brought back the dead wife plot too . I've also made her a bit less openly cruel when manipulating other nations and planets. She's also a bit more calculated instead of all brute to extend her threat level . She now also creates propaganda and has actual opposition amongst her people.

Ascentia-she is still highly treated like a prized baby by her upperclass "most pure" cohorts but fairly feared by the commons for her extremely violent blood lust nature even with violence being normalized . She is extremely beautiful and willingly models and acts for propaganda pieces . Her extreme love of violence was sadly groomed into her from childhood and war became a somewhat religion to her . Despite her brutal nature she's also intelligent and willingly helps Sunatu with her experimentation. She has the most war brides among her social class with a staggering 400. She is abusive towards some . She enjoys living the life of luxury and hates being challenged. She secretly fears the idea of one day being actually hurt by an enemy and thus losing her social status.

Sunatu- no longer Palestinian due to the racist implications of turning her into a demon (especially since she's the only real world POC) so she's just a spooky demon. An "honorary" Valkyr she lives in the squalor zone at the edge of the city but because of her willingness to go hard into the unethical human/humanoid experimentation sciences Valithra gives her a slightly nicer house and guards to kill any squalor dweller planning to off her. Her obsession with these inhumane sciences are what got her exiled from her demon home . Blind due to Valithra ripping her eyes out in rage (a horribly common punishment) but able to be meticulous in her work . Secretly fears Ascentia

Tolrah- defected from Valithra's military and faked her death in order to become a rebellion leader . I stripped her of her numerous bisexual stereotypes and killed the plot point about her neglecting to save Ascentia from her Rapist because of said stereotypes. I also decided that the Hebrew tattoo punishment idea was tasteless as fuck because how the hell did Lily not put two and two together and realize hmm this seems offensive because I reminiscent of the Holocaust . Which despite the Valkyr being race obsessed I won't allude to because actual people died and were tortured . Anyway she's brave intelligent and falls in love with the main character.

Edit: it's Xarlan

Phayaun- toned down her brutal nature. Tolrah's pupil who defects later on after seeing the true extent of Valithra's cruelty .was forced to give up her true love to be a bride for Ascentia (who killed her) so harbors resentment towards Ascentia.

OC shit

Main characters

Xarlan- a Valkyr soldier in training. Starts to question his loyalty towards Valithra after the Earth invasion and witnessing the numerous war crimes

Duskara- took Twilight's role. Former princess of a fairy kingdom sold to Ascentia as a war bride. Seeing her people massacred she formulated a plan to destroy the Valithra regime . Through manipulation and spying she discovers the secret that may even the odds against Valithra.

Eddy-a survivor of the attack on Earth. Eddy and his boyfriend must figure out a way to rally the other survivors and protect what is left and to contact those who were taken

Nightmare/Cait- Former human twisted into the form of a winged unicorn through magical experimentation for one of Ascentia's twisted ideas . When she finds the secret from Duskara she decides to wage war as a new type of monster on the regime

All for now

#lily orchard #tales of the valkyr #au #fan fiction #idea

2 notes · View notes

xnerdiebirdiex · 4 years

Note

How do you imagine your MC? Is it closer to a self insert or an actual character? If a self insert, how do you think being in Devildom would change you?

My MC is a bit of both, tbh. Her looks tend to be more on the OC side, while her traits are more like mine. I imagine my MC, to be taller than I am, around 1.70m. She's curvy, has long brown hair, and blue eyes.

She's quite sassy and chaotic. Always has to have the last word but is also very shy.

And how I would change, personally? That's actually a good question. Giving the fact that I'm an atheist, it would be quite funny, tbh.

"Nah, you can't be demons"

"Why not?"

"I'm an atheist"

I think I would be end up dead, tbh. Too many questions :D

#ask answered #thanks for the ask!

26 notes · View notes

angelhummel · 5 years

Text

I’m just really tired of the Glee hate I always see both inside and outside the fandom. Like there’s a lot of posts making the show into a meme of sorts nowadays, but people seem to forget how much it meant back in the day

I mean where else could the gay kid with a dad like Burt come out and be told that he’s still just as loved, and be supported unconditionally by said father every moment afterwards? How many shows are there like that now?

Where else could the hot cheerleaders make out and it’s not just queer bait or fan service? Where there’s actually a genuine, emotional, heart felt story surrounding it? How many shows do you know like that?

Part of Glee’s whole thing was subverting stereotypes. Yes, you’ve got the sassy black girl, the gay who loves fashion, the bitchy cheerleader, the ditzy blonde, the asshole jock. But those characters are so much more than that. Even though they fell into said stereotypes at times, I think the show spent much more time showing the characters behind the clichés

Mercedes could be vulnerable, and soft, and loving. She didn’t always have to be the Strong Black Woman that didn’t need no man

Kurt could be serious, and tough, and masculine. He didn’t always have to be the sassy gbf

Quinn could be selfless, Brittany could be smart, Puck could be kind.

And right out of the gate, the cast of characters was so diverse. The only main characters that actually fit the bill of a cis, straight, white, able bodied male were Will and Finn. Sam and Ryder were both dyslexic. I guess you could count Mason later on, but even he was on the Cheerios, which I’d argue was a good way to subvert the typical image of masculinity

For six years, we got to meet and fall in love with multiple gay, lesbian, trans, and bi characters. Characters that were black, Asian, Latina, and mixed race. Characters that were Jewish and atheist, as well as several denominations of Christian. Characters with anxiety, OCD, depression, dyslexia, down syndrome, bulimia, paraplegia. And most of the characters can check off multiple boxes

Glee gave us dozens of characters that we would have never found anywhere else. It gave us happy endings for characters that usually don’t receive them

We got to see the big black girl with big dreams get everything she ever wanted. We got to see the broken Cheerio learn to love herself, and let others in, in the process. We got to see a gay and a lesbian couple go through the same highs and lows typically afforded to any average heteronormative high school relationship, and end with the gayest double wedding ever aired on television

You don’t have to preface every shred of positivity about the show with “Glee wasn’t perfect but...”. Every show has its flaws. It’s redundant to keep rehashing that point when there’s other things to talk about. Glee tried harder in 2009 than a lot of shows do now. Glee did more for unheard voices in 2009 than most of the shows out there now

No one is accusing this show of being perfect, trust me. But it tried. Maybe sometimes they tried too hard, or maybe sometimes things got a little crazy. But the heart was always there. People today don’t seem to know, or seem to have forgotten how revolutionary this show was. It changed representation in a big way. And no matter what, I’ll always be grateful for it, and I’ll always love the wonderful characters the show has given us over the years

6K notes · View notes

plucky-elves · 3 years

Photo

Hello I am playing Dragon Age Inquisition for the first time (!!!) after purchasing a console, and I think I did a pretty good job with my first-ever Inquisitor in the character creator.

Meet Adelina Lavellan, First to the Keeper and super reluctant Inquisitor. She’s pretty into being Dalish and not super into the Maker, tbh, but this Corypheus dude seems pretty bad so here we are. She feels like she got dropped into a lot of human nonsense and doesn’t understand most of it. Like this girl fully moved into Skyhold and strung up a bunch of Dalish decor.

(I pretty much just arrived at Skyhold and it was a Very Cool Moment. Now I am overwhelmed with Too Many Sidequests.)

Anyway, she’s sarcastic and skeptical but it’s tempered with this deep need to be liked because of the discrimination elves face. Adelina knows she can’t get away with a fraction of the things humans do and she’s just a teensy bit anxious about the pressure of being an elf, a mage AND the Inquisitor. Especially because she doesn’t even worship the Maker.

(This is one of the key differences between Adelina and my canon Warden, a stabbity city elf who’s a lot angrier and could care less what anyone else thinks of her and is very agnostic if not straight up atheist.)

I’ve been spoiled for some Big Plot Points but still playing as blind as possible because I don’t know exactly how said Big Plot Points are revealed. So yeah, Adelina is fascinated by Solas and I know it’s gonna end badly but I’m excited to find out exactly how we get to Solavellan hell!!

Also not sure if Adelina will be my canon Inquisitor because a) this is my first playthrough and b) I’ve got a female city elf rogue Warden and a female mage Hawke who are both sarcastic and skeptical types so I feel like perhaps Thedas should have some variety in its heroes? What can I say I love a sassy player character.

#my ocs #adelina lavellan #dragon age inquisition #da:i #inquisitor lavellan #dragon age #i have this thing with elves

1 note · View note

psychicreadsgirl · 5 years

Text

Love reading for EXO member: Do Kyungsoo (DO)

How I do my readings: I look at the celebrity’s photo and then share my findings.

Feel free to request for other celebrity readings or for your own reading! Free readings are open!

Do Kyungso (DO) of EXO is a chill, yet stern type of guy. At times he is very easygoing, yet he has a seemingly darker side to him, a mysterious side that many people can’t seem to understand. He’s very much the sort of person that gets lost in his own thoughts and either doesn’t want to share them with others or even when he shares them, people don’t get what he’s saying. It’s not that he’s incoherent. It’s more so they don’t really see eye-to-eye with his viewpoints. He is a very stubborn type of person and likes to be very sassy and sarcastic. A lot of times that makes the situation funny, but he does have many “invisible” enemies that he makes along the way due to his more insensitive way of joking or his dry humor.

He really does like morbid things or horror. He has an interest in murder mystery and crime scenes. He doesn’t reveal it, but he’s very much into the occult. I would not be surprised if he has seen a fortune teller, psychic, or astrologer. He may play it off as if he doesn’t believe in any of this or that he’s atheist, but trust me, deep down he does believe in fate and fortune and feng shui. He needs a partner who also enjoys these sort of interests or else they will clash once they live together. It’s very possible that even during dating he will not reveal that he has these interests due to fear of being judged or laughed at.

As a lover, DO may be seen as boring and too serious. However, he just likes to play it safe. He isn’t into the fancy luxurious fine dining or elaborate dates that some of his members are interested in. Instead, a good meal at a night market is fine with him. He doesn’t care much about fine dining even though he may care about wearing good quality clothing that come at a high price. He’s not so picky with food as long as they’re clean and they fill his stomach. He is a fan of desserts (even though he might not show it on screen due to his image/celebrity weight control dieting), so it’d be good if his partner likes them too.

DO is neither too committed or too unfaithful. He sort of just goes with the flow for relationships. One day he wants to be with his partner then he’ll stay with them. If he finds someone else that attracts him more or is more beneficial to him in terms of career/status/wealth, then he will go towards them. He’s not very picky in terms of looks as long as they are clean and presentable. He is picky about the body type. He does like his partner to be slender, pale, and youthful. As long his partner is docile, gentle, patient and listens to him, then he is fine. He is the type that can marry to increase his wealth or status. To be honest, his career means much more to him than anything else. He can ditch marriage for his career.

I see him marrying in 15 years time, unless he gets the woman pregnant. He has a high chance of impregnating women from now till 2023. He should always wear a condom and not lay his sperm inside his partner during this time frame. If he does marry by 2023, it is a shotgun marriage and it will likely end in divorce 5 - 8 years into the marriage with both parties being unfaithful to one another. I suggest that he wait till 15 years later to get married if he wants to avoid this situation. DO actually has a lot of love karma, so regardless of any relationship he is in, he will suffer either financially or emotionally. I see him suffering more financially to be honest. There’s no way to finish off this karma for this lifetime, so he will just have to learn that love comes with a price tag for him.

35 notes · View notes

realitiesinpurple · 5 years

Text

Entry #1

It’s ridiculous how uneasy I feel writing here again. I have to convince myself this is just a medium, it has no power over me, and all the negative feelings I used to have won’t come back to the surface just because they’re attached to memories of Tumblr.

Because I used to have a Tumblr, I used to have several actually, and used to be here all the time, everyday. It consumed me.

I grew here, healed wounds, understood the world and met myself for the first time in what felt like centuries. I was still a child, and I grew up with the belief each and every one of us seem to have: I am special.

And the truth is that, yes, we are special. All of us. We’re unique and similar in so many ways. We’ve all been broken and judged. We are valid.

I think, in many ways, Tumblr, or the community at least, made me feel like I belonged. Like I wasn’t as messed up as everyone had me believe. But I crossed a line here as well, which is why I left: I allowed myself to believe I couldn’t be held accountable for my misfortunes.

Because it’s so easy to blame that one friend who betrayed you, or the dad that abandoned you, or the boy who broke your heart. It was really comforting to come here and have others validate my victim-hood and tell me that it was okay to continue to self destruct instead of grow up. It was also really easy to ignore those who told me I did, indeed, need to grow up, because a stranger on the internet agreed with me, so I must be right. But if someone criticized me, I was being oppressed, and they didn’t understand because they had never walked a day in my shoes.

And to be completely fair, I needed that. I needed to hate the world to stop hating myself. Sometimes, I still do, because, again, it’s so easy. You see, seeing the bright side is hard. Getting up every day being grateful that you’re alive is hard. But it does get easier with practice.

Before Tumblr, I was under the belief that I was not worthy of love. That all the bad things in my life were my fault and that I sometimes did not even deserve to be alive. My little sister is the age I was when I used to have these thoughts, and the thought of someone so young feeling this way breaks my heart. I look back at my younger self and I want to promise her everything is going to be okay (spoiler alert: everything turns out fine, and she’s happy!). But I suppose, I wouldn’t be where I am today if I hadn’t been that person to begin with. That sad little girl in too much pain for her little body to handle.

Then Tumblr came along and I was... I was real. I don’t know how to explain it, but meeting all of you, reading your stories, watching your shows, laughing at your jokes... I felt alive. Better yet, I felt worthy of being alive. And it wasn’t instantaneous. It took me a while to get there, and look at myself in the mirror and realize I was beautiful. It took some convincing to realize it’s okay to like girls AND boys?? My mind was blown.

But you see, I still had a lot of hatred and a lot of pain and a lot of bitterness. And I had to forbid myself from hating myself if I wanted to survive. So instead I hated all the people who had contributed to my pain. And the people who had contributed to other people’s pain! I had so much hate to share with the world, I bullied complete strangers because they had somehow hurt my friend’s feelings, instead of letting my friend fight her own battles.

And when someone was depressed, like I was, instead of encouraging them to fight through it, to get better, I approved of their self destruction. Sleep deprivation and unhealthy habits were just coping mechanisms, right? It’s funny because we’re all depressed here! Haha!

Because admitting they needed help meant I needed to admit... I needed help.

It was so much better to romanticize the toxicity I shared with the world. Forgiveness and love were weakness. Punching your way through life was the right way to go.

And don’t get me wrong, I needed to punch as hard as I could. I had no agency in my life and I needed to feel something, and if it was anger and resentment, so be it. It was better than being numb or depressed.

But then I grew up. I know, shocking. Suddenly I was an adult. I still can’t believe it. I had to leave Tumblr when I realized not only was I surrounding myself with toxic people. I was a toxic person.

No longer was this a place to empower myself. It was a place to excuse my behavior. It was an open door to hate.

And to be completely honest with y’all, hate is exhausting! No wonder I was tired all the time!

And yes, I still have depression, I’m not neurotypical at all lol

But I’m better. I’m not 100% and I’m not earning gold medals for being the greatest human to ever live. But I apologize when I mess up and I try not to mess up. I’ve found “judgy” friends who call me out on my bullshit and I love them so much for taking care of me in such a sassy way instead of telling me the world needs to revolve around me.

I’ve realized love is not something to be disgusted at or to fear and it’s honestly not as scary as I thought it could be.

I realized I can be funny without hurting others in the process. And that sometimes it’s okay to be a little “offensive”, too. (Yes, little sister, you are correct in saying you shouldn’t have bleached your hair and I’m not gonna tiptoe around the subject trying not to hurt your feelings. If you don’t like it, find a way to fix it. And I agree, I don’t like it neither!)

I also learned that after having a really negative experience with one religion, later becoming a stubborn atheist, and slowly starting to become a little more spiritual, it’s really not that silly to believe in something you can’t see if it makes you happy and helps you get through your day.

I learned to tell the difference between needing a mental health day and being lazy. Yes, I still take mental health days! But I also work my ass off on days when I have the potential to have high energy. I force myself to do one dish and end up cleaning the whole house and feel so proud of myself! But I don’t belittle myself when I can’t get out of bed, because I know that if I really can’t get out of bed, I need to stay in bed and recover, so the next day I can get shit done.

Also I flirt now, which is weird/new. Sometimes just for fun, sometimes with a purpose. Sometimes I flirt with myself, which I highly recommend everyone do because it is incredibly empowering!

I pay my bills on time and I treat myself without feeling guilty. Though to be completely honest with you, I was blessed with a job that I love, that pays me more than enough and rewards my hard work and competitiveness, so I’m always making extra when I earn it. But I know when to stop taking those extra shifts to have a family day, or go out, or simply lie in bed and read. Yes, I don’t have it as hard as most of you. But if I look back at 3 years ago, I was begging for Paypal donations just to survive. So I have to say, it does get better.

I live in an apartment I could have never even dreamed of, and it’s still a little empty, but I get excited over the smallest things. Like getting a new dish rack! Or new purple towels!

And against all odds, I’m actually happy going back where it all started. I visit my family and I tell them that I love them, but I don’t let them hurt me anymore.

I say no when I need to. And encourage myself to say yes to trying new things.

I wear colors now, even if they don’t match, and I wear sneakers on high heel days. I follow a skincare routine, even though I was one of those girls who would judge and envy girls with skincare routines. And I’m trying to eat healthier.

I lost weight and I cook now. I sing at the top of my lungs to the great disappointment of my next door neighbor. And I dance in my underwear even though my other neighbors can see me from the building across the balcony (I still haven’t bought curtains). Seriously, no regrets.

So, Victoria, you may ask, now that you’re doing better, why are you back? Nostalgia? Regret? To rub your stupid happiness in our faces?

To be completely honest, I’m here because it’s where I have to be. It was part of my journey all along. And I owe it to my younger self.

Do y’all remember that famous post about that person saying that when everything was okay, they would bake a cherry pie? And then they posted a photo of the cherry pie?

This is my cherry pie, I guess. This is me telling myself and any of you who may feel the way I used to, that it gets better. And I know younger me used to get so tired of hearing it. “Believe in yourself! It gets better! You’ll get there!” And it sounded like the biggest bullshit in the whole world. I had never actually met anyone who got better, to be honest. All the people who were saying it gets better were people who were just as depressed or worse than I was. We were all just trying to convince each other to believe in something none of us believed in.

Well, you know what? I’m glad you guys told me it would get better. I’m glad you pushed and pushed until I believed it. Because it’s the friggin truth. I’m the living proof that it gets better. And the more you believe that you can somehow tell the universe that you are ready to get better, to be better, to feel better, and that the universe will listen, the more it listens. I kid you not.

And I’m not even done getting better. I’m just getting started...

1 note · View note

shewassoferal · 5 years

Text

about Jemma page for mobile

basic information

FULL NAME: Jemma Anne Simmons ETHNICITY: Jewish ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL ORIENTATION: straight (but demiromantic) and very confused by romance since she hasn't experienced it yet (and has trouble understanding what isn't spelled out to her, feelings-wise). Will be very into hook ups (even if I often fade to black). RELIGION: atheist SPOKEN LANGUAGE: English, British and American Sign Languages, Italian, some Spanish, Latin. (oddly good with accents) OCCUPATION: (genius) biochemist and field agent until the Monolith, then mostly consultant for the lab department and operative.

physical traits

TATTOOS: a small compass on her bikini line, on the left. NOTABLE PHYSICAL TRAITS: after the planet, two very large scars along her stomach and belly (wounds that she had to cauterize), an equally treated long scar around her arm, inches below her wrist. A scar left from a bite on her lower back. Her skin is black around her wrists because of a tentacle plant, she usually wears wristbands to hide it. Several smaller scars on her arms and legs. A scar from scoliosis surgery on her back. More burns on her torso from Giyera. After s4, a scar from a stab wound left by LMD Fitz, a smaller one over her hairline from him as well, and another robot programmed by fear!Doctor shot her other leg. And freckles.

phobias and disorders

PHOBIAS: see her about. MENTAL DISORDERS: PTSD and autism.

biography/about

The most important part to read because I'm very canon divergent, or at least you should read s3 and the effects of the planet and this page, especially if you don't know aos well. Crossovers can always happen and are welcomed (aus with those are in the verse page). After she comes back from Maveth, she'll always wear warmers to hide the scars on her arms or gauntlets and, on missions, when she might be still out at night she has goggles/glasses to see in the dark and not freak out, as well as weapons always hidden all over her clothes. Every now and then she might use more tech we have seen in the show, like a gauntlet that can create a shield (also worn over her arm). Keep in mind that while I tend to give as many flaws as they have qualities, how many weaknesses as they have strengths (you spend time bettering something, something else will be ignored), I write this specific Jemma as still a genius but also a fighter hard to defeat; she gets injured a lot around season 3, she's still learning proper moves, but doesn't let that stop her and in the next seasons she's getting better with training. She's pretty easy to put into lots of "cliché" plots we see on tumblr, where she's the muse who is beyond protective, grumpy at first and soft later, sassy, fighty, gets constantly hurt, takes everything too literally, she doesn't expect to be loved and feels like a bad person but will not make choices for others (she learned from past mistakes) and allow them to be close to her while warning them about the risks. When she melts, she's still extra cute and loving, though. Jemma considers her team a family. Often, but not much during season 3, I write her as a pretty sassy, gruff friend who is, of course, sweet and compassionate to people she loves, but also awkward, not too good at interacting with people appropriately, petty, vindictive, mean to people she doesn't like, cocky, yet full of self-hatred when it comes to her past mistakes, prone to guilt and hiding her problems, and, in a way, ready to be 'taken in' by your character and to form some strong bond in which she's protective and either openly supportive or hiding it behind a bickering exterior. She also lost lots of her impulse control and the filter between thoughts and words. She'll get in constant trouble as always, rush into danger, and scold her friends for doing the same. She'll react to things with her weird brand of humor, but also panic, temporarily lose hope, need comfort, just like an other normal person; she cannot be expected to give people constant hope and be optimistic since she has her own burdens to carry but she'll do her best to help. Season 1 is pretty much the same, bubbly scientist who needs to be reminded of what's creepy and inappropriate and likes following rules as long as she agrees with them, but since she has no medical training I headcanon that she wings it and is very proud of herself for making it work. She's not meant to be a doctor, however, and will be extremely freaked out whenever performing surgery; in season 1 and in every other season she will run away to cry right after. She has no idea that Lorelei did more to Ward than to just use him to find their Bus, or she wouldn't be joking about men being weaker than women. She did NOT have a crush on Grant Ward; she cleaned up her language to avoid an awkward moment with Coulson when interrogated in season 3, but Jemma simply felt sexual attraction for him. (She felt sexual attraction towards many men she met, since they were her type in one way or another). She's also not the extra nice and friendly person as she's usually mistaken for, but she hides mean comments or her cockyness behind a sweet voice. She was already vindictive and ready to fight in s1, as well as overconfident. She is a loving and supportive friend but only to either people she likes or those she just met who need a hand. Season 2 She trained before going undercover and never stopped; driven by PTSD, her vengeful streak, her distance from the team and her self-hatred, Jemma started believing that making hard calls and being the expendable one was her role in the team; that, and to protect her friends not only from threats but from becoming like her. They were the good guys, she was just trying her best. Killing Ward was an obsession that she had a hard time letting go of, and she was ready to give her life for several reasons, but it was still hurtful to be believed capable of hurting Daisy. She had a harder time forgiving Bobbi and Mack, she didn't blame Kara Palamas for her brainwashing - though she definitely still judged the couple Kara-Ward (when she hates someone she'll be biased and petty). From her point of view, Ward was probably using her. Either there was never a love declaration from Fitz or, if you are a Fitz rper, we can plot differently. There will be no Will so either way we'll skip that love triangle. disclaimer for who didn't read the previous pages and jumped to this: crossovers can always happen (aus with those are in the verse page). After she comes back from the planet, she'll always wear warmers to hide the scars on her arms, and on missions when she might be still out at night she has goggles/glasses to see in the dark and not freak out, and weapons hidden all over her clothes. Every now and then she might use more tech we have seen in the show, like a gauntlet that can create a shield (also worn over her arm). Keep in mind that while I tend to give as many flaws as they have qualities, how many weaknesses as they have strengths, I write this specific Jemma as a fighter hard to defeat; she gets injured a lot around season 3, she's still learning proper moves, but doesn't let that stop her and in the next seasons she's getting better with training. On the planet or season 3 Jemma has lived one year in Maveth, while it was six months for people on Earth, and has adapted to the place, responding to the constant threats and violence by turning just as feral as the beasts there. There was a red 'sun' and I have several headcanons on flora and fauna but it's something that can be told by Jemma if she's asked. A tentacle plant left her skin black around her wrists, and she has two large cauterized wounds along her abdomen, another cauterized cut on her arm, and a small bite mark on her back. She found a Kree staff and used it to hunt, becoming much better at fighting, but thinking too much meant hesitating and dying, so she had to rely on instincts and that impulsive behavior became a part of her. She also still talked to her friends as if they were there while aware they were not. After the planet, season 3 or the Big Change It's obvious right away that Jemma isn't herself after Fitz takes her home: her health is terrible, she clings to her closest friends, she hides in her room (a new one she asked upstairs, because windows are vital for her), the hypervigilant and aggressive state she's in. It takes her more than a couple of weeks to come out of her room and start talking again, cautiously at first, and asking for dr. Garner's help. She doesn't share much about the planet unless prompted by her fear of accidentally hurting her friends. Here are some of the most noticeable consequences of what happened: She sleeps in the morning after dawn because is terrified of falling asleep at night. She lost the filter between thoughts and words and between thoughts and actions and is trying to find it again. She cannot stand the smell or sight of meat. It’s not a problem with meat being ‘meat’ itself; if she can hide the smell or make it look different (like salami) she can eat it. But she also has trouble with vivisecting/dissecting human and animal bodies and can’t really see a solution for it. She's violent when startled or grabbed though it gets better with time. Depending on the verse, after some therapy and after more misadventures, she might choose to leave. Her fighting skills are not at 'May' level because she only had the basic training before the planet, but after a year of fighting she has learned how to use her whole body and objects around her as weapons. She became REALLY good at climbing things and at ignoring pain too (however she lacks of natural reflexes connected to self-defense like trying too instinctively avoid blows). Of course she kept training, even if she's more of a biochemistry expert + unofficial op. She's still captured and tortured because of Malick, too scared to go back to that planet herself and ready to die for it; Hive being real is a nightmare coming true, and she tries to stay away from everything related to him. When Lincoln goes to die, however, she tries to take his place but doesn't make it in time, stopped by Mack and Fitz. When Daisy leaves, Jemma can't say she blames her. She'll do her best to earn Mace's trust just like in canon even if not with stellar results, and be equally wary. season 4 goes a lot like in canon, with her working at the lab again as much as that's possible for her, going on missions too, and plotting against Mace. Her emotional health starts getting to a better place, the constant training when she's not supervising lab scientists helps her become an even better fighter, and she has a safehouse just in case things turn south with Mace. Having to kill a LMD that looks just like Fitz brings back all her fears of hurting the team and she's gutted, barely able to keep it together in the Framework, and she's back to bad reflexes and insomnia. In season 5 she's immediately in trouble with Kasius because she's unable to let him touch her without responding aggressively, and because she's scarred instead of 'perfect'. He doesn't kill her right away and enslaves her instead, only because he has a feeling that she might be important (as in a SHIELD member of sorts). He still keeps touching her face, but because of her violence his admirations is more about her resorcefulness in that area, since she failed against Sinara but still attacked them in surprising ways, and for that reason she's not given a light blue tunic like his special - and perfect - servants but a black one, and a collar is put around her neck because Kasius already sees humans as animals and Jemma behaves like one more than any other, so it's a mockery instead of part of the slave outfit we saw in canon. She does cut his throat later, and it's his brother who goes against the rest of her team. She can't handle the situation once back home and spends days locked in her room. It will be plotted how Deke's mother came to life but she will be showing her soft side to him (and possibly, instead of 'the steps you take don't need to be big', it's her speech about laws of thermodynamics and how she'll go on to be a supernova, monkey, fish, the same from the pod, is the one that Deke's mother used to say to people, to comfort them about the constant death in the Lighthouse). But this is where I diverge from canon again, and in this case it can be plotted differently with Fitz and Daisy rpers since it involves them directly, but by default it was Fear!Doctor and Fear!Fitz who operated on Daisy; Jemma gets herself shot trying to help her because she can't hold back, while Fitz has been locked in another room. The team is still divided by this, Fitz has his own issues with what happened (but not a psychotic break), Daisy is hurt, Jemma is afraid and guilty. At the end of the season Fitz doesn't die, cryo!Fitz doesn't need to be awaken because he 'will' wake in the version of the world that has ended and finish the circle that ends the timeloop. Jemma is free to either stay with the team but work on healing again or leave SHIELD for a while. This way I'm free to keep writing Jemma as I want, and with whatever plots I want for her after s5. By now, she became a skilled fighter and won't be losing many fights (but might lose control and kill) but for obvious reasons she needs time to heal again. However, any point in time after season 3 she can leave the team and that encourages crossovers, as well as her working from SHIELD with people from other universes not so differently from canon, or cooperating with other members of the MCU. Not necessary to read to rp.

relationships

PARENTS: Daniel and Grace Simmons. She's emotionally abusive and he's too submissive to help; Jemma was close to him until he started working more and being home less (around the time she was six and her sister Cat was born), and that's when her mother started pushing Jemma to work for them not long after. Her grandmother and the house staff are the people who took care of Jemma the most. SIBLINGS: older brother Marcus, who hates her out of jealously, and younger sister Cat, who initially was raised almost like a daughter by Jemma, then after Jemma left for SHIELD pushed her out of her life because she felt rejected, especially since Jemma lied about why she stayed in the US and told everyone she'd be a party planner; around s3-s4 will learn the truth and be close to Jemma again. BODY ENHANCEMENTS/SCARS: pre academy: -big burn on the right side of her torso, visible under bra, from torture -thick scar from waist to her belly - from surgeries and poking around -tiny scar over her heart - from her brother Marcus -other tiny stab scar on her thigh - same as above -burns and cuts on her back - discipline/teaching her to focus while in pain -replaced spleen - teach Jemma how to perform part of her surgery, also to start replacing parts of her body with tech because it's 'better', more organs will be replaced later on also so that they won't collapse under duress when she's given drugs to be stronger and smarter, and of course because she might need to fight, and her new tech parts will require other organs to be enhanced too. Can't have her dying of heart attack because her heart couldn't take what she just did with her 'enhanced' body -tiny explosive tech in her brain hard to remove -two scars, one for each side of her head, where there has been some poking around. -for now her heartbeat is faster than it should be, and blood pressure is high instead of her usually low one. PLANNED, SOON: -artificial eye and arm -two metal plates on her calfs, work in progress, so she'll have enhanced lower limbs too at the end -heart is going to be 'enhanced' soon. BACKSTORY: Jemma is the daughter of the CEO of Roxxon, Daniel Simmons, but it's her mother, Grace, who is the real pupper master, on the board of command and feared by everyone for her power and lack of soul. With Roxxon being the richest multicompany who owns more or less anything and has financed every evil activity in the past decades around the world, Grace considers herself already victorious, but she's not done: she wants to turn her genius daughter Jemma into a perfect version of herself, with no feelings getting in the way of what she wants but still the same intelligence and creativity, which means that simply operating on her brain to remove her ability to feel guilt and love would be impossible due to complication that would likely make Jemma 'less efficient'. Jemma has to keep her mind, but said mind should be exactly the way Grace wants it to be. So while she looks for a solution and she has been working on thoroughly breaking her daughter, Grace has started to at least perfection Jemma's body with surgeries, of making Jemma herself perform them. After years of experimentation, using her youngest daughter Cat, that Grace had Jemma raise, as leverage (every year Jemma had to choose if still be experimented on or let her sister be the new victim, and every year Jemma chose herself), SHIELD found Jemma; back then Grace's role in Roxxon was more hidden, but after Jemma's rescue it was clear that while her daughter felt no loyalty towards Roxxon, they didn't have the power to destroy the whole organization, much less take down the Simmons family, and SHIELD had to decide what to do with the sixteen years old. Fury felt pity for the girl, but also saw the potential, and since Grace had clearly no interest in SHIELD, not considering it a threat, they kept Jemma as their agent, hiding of course classified information from her. Grace allowed Jemma to be in SHIELD, not needing her home anymore and well aware that she could ask Jemma to do anything for her sister, and that her daughter believes her to be invincible and has no hope when it comes to her. Jemma didn't even know about Roxxon itself, she simply thought her mother and father worked for some evil laboratory, and that was why she accepted SHIELD's deal not to tell anyone about her situation, just try to leave a normal life while she still could. Her friendship with Fitz was an unexpected source of strength that her mother didn't see coming, since she doesn't understand the power of human relationships, she simply knows it and finds ways to use it, but Jemma kept the secret because she believed Fitz wouldn't be in danger even if he was her friend. She'd say she trusted SHIELD to finish the job some day, when possible, and that if they hadn't yet it's probably because her family is so rich and powerful that it's impossible to win in court, but deep down she already feels there is something very wrong going on and that there is no hope. In season 2 that Coulson got the toolbox and found out what Fury and May already knew, Jemma's past abuse and situation, but also the intel they have on Roxxon, how her mother can't be brought down yet because if she dies, as a failsafe bombs will go off all over the country, how she has illimited intel on everyone and everything and won't hesitate going after people's families, or talking people into doing things that will leave them destroyed, and he had to warn Jemma about all of this, since with the fall of SHIELD and the rise of Hydra everything was now up in the air and Jemma had to choose for herself. Jemma couldn't go undercover in Hydra because of this or she'd be too noticeable, as the daughter of Grace, and since she wanted to stay away from Fitz, for more than a reason, she started training to be an operative and went on missions as much as possible but also tried to find the right moment and way to explain the truth about her past and make sure he wouldn't endanger himself for her anymore. Depending on the verse/situation, since she obsessed over Ward and tried to find everything on his backstory, she can either hate him even more out of fear that in her future she'll betray the team just like him and end up in the same vault, or feel empathy and like she can relate. It's also up to her if to tell her team about her family or not, and how. To her, it still seems safer to not say anything unless she has to, so no one will try to be a hero and fight them for her, which would result in their deaths or worse. She's aware that one day, any day, her mother might call her and ask her to do something she can't refuse, or simply take her back home for more experiments and 'enhancements'. That also definitely put a 'nothing can ever happen' label on all romantic relationships, which was there even before she knew about Roxxon, and after finding out just how powerful her family is, and not only a problem for her but for everybody, she's not sure friendship should be in her future either, but at the same time she feels she owes people the truth and yet that she has to protect them from it. Potential Deathlok Jemma in s2 or at least she'll be in need of prosthetics at some points. Potential 'attempt to offer Jemma to Hive' in s3 Potential Evil LMD Jemma after s4, who will be given to her mother by Ivanov and be the closest thing to a 'perfect' Roxxon Jemma, ruthless, partly detached from reality, sadistic, wants to win at everything, feels no care for anything whatsoever except her mother.

#about jemma page #about jemma page for mobile #about page for mobile #about page

2 notes · View notes

humangods · 2 years

Photo

GENERAL INFORMATION

BACKGROUND INFORMATION

► RELIGION: Atheist ► EDUCATION LEVEL: High School ► ECONOMIC STATUS: Middle-Class ► SPOKEN LANGUAGES: English (fluent), Greek (advanced)

PERSONALITY

APPEARANCE

BIOGRAPHY

Trigger Warning(s): Death (patricide, threats)

RELATIONSHIPS

MISC INFORMATION

#c: regan sloane #bio: regan sloane #*character overview #hc: regan sloane #someday i'll get to use you

0 notes

babytoro · 6 years

Text

hey i did some more outsiders au headcanons

PEOPLE

gerard way

has dyed his hair every color of the rainbow (red, orange, blonde, green, blue, purple, black, white and pink)

usually spends at least an hour doing his hair and makeup every morning

gerard spends a lot of time picking out his outfits

gerard is the unofficial leader of the greasers

gerard is a graffiti artist, and often makes murals on abandoned buildings

has filled almost 100 sketchbooks and has kept all of them

gerard works at a comic book store

gerard is a closeted star wars and batman geek

gerard likes flirting with random guys in bars and gas stations

gerard loves david bowie, morrissey, the misfits and joan jett

gerard’s parents died when he was fourteen, so he had to step up and take care of mikey at a very young age

aspires to be an artist or a singer

is usually very kind and sweet but becomes violent and aggressive when the greasers are threatened

he treats the greasers like a second family

dropped out of school when he was fourteen so he could take care of mikey

although he dropped out of school in freshman year, he is quite smart

gerard loves going to parties

if you mess with frank, you mess with gerard. they’re best friends

gerard wears eyeliner and occasionally eyeshadow

gerard used to dress in drag when he was in middle school

gerard sees lindsey as the sister he never had

gerard and mikey have a very close relationship and are very protective of one another

gerard loves frank with all his heart and acts excessively violent and aggressive towards socs who try to hurt him

he is terrified of needles and won’t let anyone get near him with one

gerard is very flamboyant and sassy

frank iero

frank is the second smallest greaser (5’4”)

cuts his own hair like the rest of the greasers

little punk bitch who has a kink for the misfits

frank is an atheist

his parents are divorced and have gotten into very violent fights in front of him in the past

frank has 1cm ear gauges

he also has a lip ring and a nose ring, and once had an eyebrow piercing that got infected

frank gets tattoos from sketchy artists in alleyways and has to try and not get caught by the police while he gets them

he doesn’t see his mother very often because she lives across the state

his father is always working so he doesn’t see him much either

frank dropped out of catholic school in freshman year because he was tired of all the religious preaching and bullying

frank, despite his small size, has an unlimited amount of energy

frank is extremely jumpy and will sometimes tackle the other greasers or pick a fight with a soc just to get some energy out of his system

frank has four dogs

he takes his dog sweet pea with him almost everywhere. she attacks the socs when the greasers are threatened.

frank is usually the loudest of the greasers (he’s second loudest when mikey’s mad and starts yelling)

frank is very protective of gerard

frank screams a lot

frank likes to embarrass the other greasers

frank can be extremely annoying at times

frank is one of the funniest people you will ever meet, and always has a sarcastic and witty comeback ready

almost all of frank’s clothes are hand-me-downs from his father from when he was a teenager

frank is very patriotic about new jersey

mikey way

mikey has a terrifying amount of strength

mikey has been arrested so many times the police know him by name

mikey’s parents died when he was twelve, so he’s terrified of losing people he loves and is very protective of them

mikey has a nose ring

he is second in command of the greasers. if something were to happen to gerard, mikey would become the new leader

mikey has bipolar disorder and anger issues

when gerard started working so that they could keep their house, mikey would steal money to try and help his brother

mikey’s criminal record includes things such as burglary, breaking and entering, assault, assault with a deadly weapon and resisting arrest

mikey often bribes the police so they will let him or other greasers out of custody

mikey loves cats

mikey has frequent mood swings and can go from being happy to extremely angry within a 30-second time span

mikey has broken the walls in his house by punching them and throwing things at him

mikey has bleached blonde hair and he cuts it himself because he doesn’t trust barbers

mikey has a lot of hatred towards people, especially socs

frank annoys mikey to no end, but since he’s gerard’s best friend mikey tries to be nice to him

mikey is extremely protective of ray and will get aggressive towards anyone who so much as looked at him weirdly

mikey likes reading comic books and horror novels

mikey has probably done every drug known to man

mikey parties with his greaser friends every weekend and gets completely wasted

mikey and ray have known each other for more than ten years and are best friends

mikey swears a lot

mikey once had a motorcycle, but crashed it into bob’s expensive car after he betrayed the greasers and became a soc

mikey has a very unique fashion style

mikey wants to get tattoos but doesn’t have enough money to get one from a professional

gerard and ray are the two most important people in mikey’s life and he loves them more than anything

mikey has very warm hands

mikey loves heavy metal music

when he and ray argue they sound like an old married couple

ray toro

ray is small for a guy his age (5’7”)

ray wears boots that add an extra two inches to his height

ray has slightly darker skin than the rest of the greasers

ray has dark freckles all over his body and slightly chubby arms

everything ray wears is too big for him

ray’s parents are very abusive towards him, especially his father, who takes out all his anger on him

ray is a very talented singer and guitarist, but is too shy to ever perform

ray was beaten horribly by the socs four months prior to the fic’s beginning and now has a scar across his cheek

ray’s scars fade into black lines when they heal. he has a lot of them

ray has a very gentle and calming voice and almost never yells

ray is a very sweet person who loves showing affection for the other greasers. he considers them family

ray is very insecure about himself and doesn’t really like who he is

ray loves queen, david bowie, elton john, the misfits, metallica, alice cooper, the cure, joy division, and the smiths more than any other musicians

ray loves it when people hug him

ray gets cold very easily

ray hates it when people pull his hair and kicks them when they do

ray has dark circles around his eyes from lack of sleep. he has insomnia and only gets about two or three hours of sleep a night at most

ray loves tiny dogs and birds

ray is very shy and usually won’t say what he wants to

ray is usually able to calm mikey down when he’s angry by talking to him in a calm voice

ray has major anxiety and often has panic attacks

ray cares about mikey more than anything

ray is usually very quiet and reserved but can be loud and sassy if he wants to

ray didn’t have a very good childhood which is why he’s sort of fucked up now

ray often borrows / steals clothes from the other greasers because he barely has any

ray is targeted by the socs because he isn’t as strong as the other greasers, so he is often ganged up on by them

lindsey ballato

lindsey’s parents abandoned her when she was thirteen, which forced her to start fending for herself

lindsey is an artist and sells paintings for a living

lindsey also works with gerard at the comic book store

lindsey lives in an abandoned house on the outskirts of belleville so she won’t have to pay rent or bills

lindsey has long hair that reaches down to almost her waist

lindsey’s style can change three times in one week. she can be goth one day, a joan-jett look-alike the next and a punk the next

lindsey is often underestimated by the socs. she can knock one out in a single punch.

lindsey has dyed her hair every color imaginable

lindsey loves girl punk and rock bands

lindsey has a full tattoo sleeve and a wrist tattoo that was done by frank

she also has three piercings in her ear and a nose ring

lindsey loves horror movies, especially gory ones

lindsey and gerard are very close friends and do everything together

lindsey has a pet kitten named Chantal

lindsey and gerard wear each other’s clothes

people often make fun of lindsey for being a girl greaser, but she doesn’t care whatsoever

lindsey dropped out of school in eighth grade when her parents abandoned her and educated herself

lindsey drives a black car with gothic additions that she bought for $300 at an auction

lindsey often shops at thrift stores

lindsey acts as if ray is her son and is very protective of him

PLACES

belleville, new jersey

one of the most dangerous places in new jersey

there are a ton of crack houses and drug dealers around

no matter where you go, you will most likely witness a street brawl

dead bodies appeared in the lake right by the town’s entrance

you’ll be lucky if you don’t get shot there

the police are incredibly corrupt and often accept bribes

there are many criminals around that should be in jail

there are many kidnappings throughout the year

most of the town’s population is very poor, but there is a small, very wealthy population

the brick shithouse

greaser bar that is actually named “rusty’s”

made of bricks and is a pretty shitty bar, hence the nickname

usually full of druggies and angry drunks

there are always fights going on, usually with switchblades

brian is the bartender

serve drinks that aren’t legal in the united states

if a soc even looks at the brick shithouse, the greasers chase them away and throw rocks at them

the brick shithouse has a top floor where brian lives

there is usually loud heavy metal or punk music blasting through the brick shithouse’s walls

the police show up to the bar at least three times a week

cherry hill, new jersey

more wealthy than belleville

is a pretty nice area, except for the outskirts

has a lot of bars and clubs, so there are a lot of neon lights

many people there dress the same, so greasers would stand out

has a lot of pretty scenery and nature

abandoned church and field

the church was abandoned in the early 70s

nobody ever goes to the church. most people don’t even know it exists

there is a beautiful view of the sunset from the field

there are a lot of trees surrounding the church

#i dont know why i added places but it helped me imagine the setting so who cares #also brian is the bartender now and jimmys the only record store bitch #anyway support my au so i can make fun of bob asiduygdnj #corey.txt #outsiders au

52 notes · View notes

ask-despairsdisease · 6 years

Text

Meet the Ultimates #3!

Allyson Akanashi - Ultimate Cowgirl

“Y’all folks should oughta lean back and let me take care of the guardin’ y’hear? I don’t need no investigatin’ duty”

The title is actually considered by many to have a double meaning, as not only is her skill at rodeos and horse shows almost impossible to match, but she is also quite…..gifted. Daughter of a Japanese waitress and a Texan businessman. While she’s perfectly capable of detecting, and defending against, any perverted approach, she seems extremely gullible. A lesser feat is being taught Karate as a self-defense art by her mother when she was young, which she’ll use arbitrarily. She also apparently knows a small bit of cooking, repairing simple machinery, theatrics and marksmanship, although asking her about the theory of any of these will prove incredibly futile.

V.A: yugirl

Shinju Akashiro - Ultimate Bounty Hunter

“Excuse me? Ew ew ew! Don’t touch me you lunatic!”

A master of traps and her preferred weapons, a vigilante of sorts, with a really vague sense of morale

Distinguishing trait is extreme men hate. Due this, she will never believe or trust information told to her by men, but become completely gullible to anything told to her by women (even if they both told her the same thing). She’s shown to have little thought in her actions, guiding herself more by guttural instinct and impulse, which usually ends in a tougher situation than before, which she somehow escapes.

Tsubasa Ishiuchi - Ultimate Exorcist

“If i'm gonna have to spend the rest of my days with that weirdo, i'll jump into a volcano first chance I have"

He has the uncanny ability of talking to ghosts, and manages to bond with all of them easily. People usually think he’s talking to himself due to some of his ‘special’ friends being quite persistent to communicate with him. As ironic as it sounds, he’s an atheist.

He seems overly relaxed about the situation, possibly even unfazed by it, but is constantly and silently questioning and plotting for a solution. He will always be righteous, doing what he deems right no matter what the odds are, and won’t stay silent against something he deems unfair. Not wanting anyone to get too close, however, he can be quite a sassy little bugger if nobody sets a stopping point

V.A: nemuttai

Daisuke Aguni - Ultimate Cult Leader

“You can’t go around being reckless in life. That’s what I believe. Either you choose your path, or you will never fulfill your person”

With an uncanny ability to convince people with his words, comforting others and manipulating the rest, leader of a huge cult.

His personal beliefs are that everyone should follow what they wish, without influence from an external party. He also holds an immense amount of resent towards his parents for their actions towards him, as he feels he doesn’t matter to them outside monetary income, however, his honorific personality doesn’t allow him to simply leave them, as he believes that isn’t what a man of honor would do.

#danganronpa #dangan ronpa #fangan ronpa #fanganronpa #danganronpa fanfiction #dr oc #dr ocs #dangan ronpa original characters #danganronpa oc #danganronpa original character #ddp #danganronpa ddp #despair's disease #despair's disease project

3 notes · View notes

thecrookedgavel · 4 years

Text

The Black Box Readings - Ep 2 Transcript

Here’s the transcript for episode 2 of The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down.

See Other Episodes

An: Hey, all! And welcome back to The Black Box Readings, the podcast where I read to you the backup of queer blogs that have gone down! I’m your host, An Capuano. I want to start off by thanking you for coming back for episode 2. It means a great deal to me. Last time we were introduced to Emmy and started getting into her story. But also, we got into some personal anecdotes from me… Some very personal anecdotes, actually. So a little peek behind the curtain, I’m recording this before the release of episode 1, but I showed an unmastered version to some of my friends and they all thought my little stories really added something to the episode. Which is good, because I felt really empowered by it, even if I didn’t really plan on sharing so much about me.

If you haven’t heard episode 1 yet, I would really recommend taking the time to do so before continuing, but here’s a brief summary of what was covered:

Let’s see, we met our hero Emmy, and we learned that she’s a visual artist, and learned a bit about her being bi-polar and deaf. We also saw some hints of her being a trans lesbian. We come back into the swing of things with a frequently asked questions post as a response to the messages she received after her last post, titled:

“(Unfortunately) FAQ

Thank you for your attempts at cheering me up. I appreciate it, even though some things that were said were not helpful at all. Rather than replying to each of you individually, I decided to make a FAQ. Let’s get into them, shall we?

-You’re deaf? Why don’t you wear hearing aids?

Sorry, it’s not that simple. With the amount of deaf I am, I still can’t understand speech, even with hearing aids. So they’re basically pointless.

-Why don’t you get cochlear implants? Isn’t that the cure for being deaf?

There’s no easy fix for being deaf. Even with cochlear implants, you “hear” in a totally different way, and it’s taxing and torture from what I hear. Plus, my dad says we can’t afford them. I don’t know if I would want to have them if we could tbh. It all seems pretty scary if you ask me.

-Do you have a deaf accent when you talk? I know what you mean, but please don’t call it that. I’m not from the country of “Deaf”, so I wouldn’t call it an accent. But yeah, I talk funny, if that’s what you’re asking

-Are you able to lip read?

Yeah, I can. I’m ok at it, but I can really only follow one on one conversations. Any more than that, and I get lost easily. I understand the most when someone articulates and talks slowly for me.

-Wow, you’re really brave! I would kill myself if I couldn’t listen to music.

Gee, thanks. I’m glad you think my life isn’t worth living. There’s nothing brave about it, I just do what I can, and try not to beat myself up too badly.

-Why not take medication for being bi-polar?

Honestly, it’s complicated. Being on tumblr is what made me realize that I’m bi-polar, not a doctor or anything. So there’s no one I can get meds from. Legally, at least, lol. My dad refuses to accept what I’m going through is a mental illness, he just thinks that I have behavioral problems. That I’m just doing all this to spite him or something. So I’m sort of stuck without meds for the time being. “

She can be very sassy, can’t she? There’s a bit of cleverness to her responses. No swearing or name calling, those things are just implied. It’s nice that she calls out the ableist rhetoric that disabled people are better off dead. It was heartwarming to see, when I originally read this post, that she does believe she has value as a person, even if it is sort of buried at the moment under the doom and gloom of her previous post.

She also talks about how her Dad can’t pay, or maybe even won’t pay for cochlear implants, and refuses to get her psychiatric medication. I’m not the biggest fan of her Dad, to be honest, and why will become clearer as we progress through Emmy’s blog. In fact, our next post is about an interaction between the two of them.

“Got mad at my Dad today

God, I’m so PISSED OFF, you don’t even know. My Dad is being his usual tyrannical self again. He never lets me do anything! Ok, so I just wanted to go to the corner store and pick up a few things we were missing around the house, nothing major, right? I wanted to be helpful, you know? But as I walk out the door, he grabs my shoulder and pulls me back into the house. He YELLS at me, even though he KNOWS I can’t understand him when he does that. After a while of telling him to stop yelling, he finally starts talking slowly for me. He told me that it’s not safe for me to leave the house on my own. That I might get hurt, kidnapped, or worse. I told him that I’d be fine, and that he needs to stop being so controlling all the time. Then he started quoting the Bible at me, I hate it when he does that. Something about the 10 commandments and how I’m supposed to honor him, idk. I know I’m supposed to believe it all, being I’m the son of a pastor, and all that. But I’m seriously an atheist, ok? I just don’t believe in God, fate, or any of it. Anyway, I hate to admit it, but he’s probably right. Not being able to hear a car coming does scare me a lot. Thanks for reading, rant over. “

This is one of many rants that made their way onto Emmy’s blog. I think she was able to use it to feel better about the negative things in her life. You can see at the end that she’s much calmer than she was at the beginning of the post, even going so far as to actually agree with her Dad. Though I get not wanting your child to get hurt, I don’t think he should have pulled her back into the house physically like that. And yelling on top of that? It all rubs me the wrong way. Though they’re not the reasons I truly dislike him. Unfortunately, those will come by in full force later on.

Oh, I realize I haven’t given an anecdote yet, sorry about that. Let’s see… umm… I guess I can really relate with the struggle of wanting to be independent. I’ve been really sick for more than 10 years now, and we had a lot of trouble getting a diagnosis. It’s looking like it’s all due to a concussion I had in my teens. I’m getting treated now, and things are looking up, actually! There’s a lot of hope with me.

But before that, I actually had the opposite dynamic as Emmy. My parents would really push me to be independent, but I had sort of accepted where I was with my level of dependency. I couldn’t do things like exercise, laundry, or even make my own food, even on my best days, without feeling absolutely terrible afterwards. Certain movements would basically knock me out for the rest of the day. This lead to terrible sleep cycles, and my parents would get really upset with me for not appearing “normal.” I think it looked to them like I wasn’t making an effort, when in truth, I wasn’t normal and I was doing exactly what I could every day. It sort of came to a boiling point with them not understanding, and I sort of had to move out and get my own place to stop it from getting truly awful, honestly. It was hard, for a lot of reasons, including money reasons, but that’s a story for another time, I think.

But back to Emmy herself, I guess we really haven’t talked about her religious views yet. She went into a bit of detail in an earlier post, but in the end, I decided to omit it from the podcast. Mostly because the core of it is present here. She doesn’t believe in God or predeterminism, and she has a real disdain for The Bible. It’s probably from oversaturation, to be honest? Like, grow up with a super religious parent, and you’re bound to want to rebel as a teen. Though I find it kind of funny that she says she doesn’t believe in fate, it’s not strictly a religious concept, and bit of a spoiler, but she ends up changing her mind on that front later on.

Next up is a post where Emmy talks about her aspirations and future goals. She wants to be a full time artist, and take the steps necessary to get there. She wants something more out of life, which is pretty natural for a teen. It’s why the “princess wanting more” story is told time and time again. Anyways, the post is titled:

“I Want To Do Art

I’ve been thinking a lot about the future recently, and I’ve been feeling pretty bored just sitting around doing whatever lately. I want to work for a living, but I know I can’t really do that without leaving the house. I want to be an artist. Like an animator or an illustrator. Something like that. It’s something I’m perfectly capable of doing, even if I can’t hear. I know my art needs work before I can make a job out of it, but I think that’s what I want out of life.

I passed high school last year, even if I was homeschooled, it still counts! I don’t know what kind of art school would take me, and I understand that I’m disabled, but my Dad won’t even let me look for an art school. He just won’t fucking listen to me! He thinks I’m just going to sit at home and do nothing for the rest of my life, like some sort of fucking pet! I’m so sick of him! He’s so goddamn controlling and I fucking hate him for it! I don’t know what to live for if I can’t be an artist, tbh…”

Honestly, this is an upsetting post to me, for a number of reasons. It sort of gives me a flashback to high school, which never sounds good, but bear with me. I was told by someone I really looked up to, my acting teacher, that I’d never make it as an actor because of my hearing loss. He encouraged me that I could still work in theater, like being a stage manager, but the damage was kind of done. I always thought that he believed in me, he would give me opportunities like assistant director on several projects. I got a good amount of experience working with him. Maybe he believed I was better suited to being a director, which is something I have been doing, directing my own projects, like The Crooked Gavel. But I also have been voice acting, which is acting, right? Actually, talking through this has made me realize that he would be proud of me. I think he would be happy to have been proven wrong. I actually feel a lot better now. Interesting.

Anyways, where were we? *light chuckle* Right, so I think Emmy has the right to resent her Dad in this case. It sounds like he’s not trying to meet her halfway, not even trying to look into an art school for the disabled. To me, it seems like he just doesn’t want to let go of the idea of Emmy as his child. She’s growing up, and he’s kind of refusing to see it. There’s also the aspect that he might be embarrassed of her, which… *sigh* more on that later.

---

Moving on, here’s another post accompanied by a piece of art. It’s… well it’s part of the reason why her previous post upsets me. Because I remember this post along side of it. If I had a copy of the picture, I’d probably have to warn you first. It was really dark. So, onto the post, titled:

“Here’s how I feel

I feel so trapped and small”

*Sigh* And I’ll try my best to give you a description from memory. I stared at it for a long time, I recall. I remember a figure wrapped in chains. The art style had a very dream-like quality to it, the colours all dark and texture sort of… messy? *Sigh* Anyway, the person in chains had tears streaming from her eyes, and no mouth. The chains lead upwards into puppet strings to those marionette-style crosses. It was good art, but knowing who was behind it, it really scared me. Especially since she hinted in her previous post that she might not see anything to live for. She felt so trapped and like she didn’t have a voice. So I thought it over, and I decided to message her words of encouragement. This was our first interaction.

I told her that I loved looking at her art, and that it brought me a lot of joy when she came up on my dashboard. That I was half deaf, and although I couldn’t get the full picture, I got some of her struggle. I encouraged her that her art was already good enough for commissions without art school.

I’m sure she got a lot of messages like mine, because she never responded directly. Instead, she posted this message on her blog the next day.

“Got a lot of messages

A ton of people messaged me to give me words of encouragement after my post yesterday. I’m sorry I worried everyone, I just needed an outlet to express myself, you know? But people also messaged me to tell me that I’m good enough already to do commissions without art school. I don’t think you’re right, but I’ll think about setting something up. My Dad probably won’t let me make a paypal, but maybe you can pay me in Steam games or something, idk?”

A little later, she reblogged the post and said: “Everyone sending me messages and words of encouragement, thank you! It really means a lot”

I was really happy that I reached out to her, and due to what she posted, It felt more or less like she was thanking me directly. By this point, I was invested in her struggle, and I made sure I’d always message her again if she needed me to.

Alright, we’ve made it to the last post of the episode. It’s kind of exciting, because it’s the mark of a really good thing happening in Emmy’s life. It’s well deserved, and I remember being very happy for her whenever a post of this type came up. I don’t want to spoil it, but I guess the title kind of does that for me, *chuckle* It’s titled:

“I Think I Met Someone

I was playing a lot of Overwatch today, what else is new? LOL. It was the first comp game of the day, and we got Anubis. So I instalocked Mercy like I always do. Anyway, me and the Dva player, her name was EmeraldSkies, were wrecking face together. It was pretty great, actually! Obviously I wasn’t in voice chat, as that would be a whole lot of useless. People usually get mad at me for it, and try and force me to join, but she was chill about it. After the game ended (in a win for us, of course) I got a friend request from her, so I accepted. We ended up chatting for a bit, and then we ended up duoing for a while. I really liked playing with her, and she didn’t pressure me at all to join chat, even if my excuse for why I couldn’t was half assed.

I had to go eat lunch after a while, I gave her my discord and she actually accepted! After I got back online, we talked for a bit, and it was really fun! Idk, she’s just so upbeat and seems so deep. Plus she’s totally not at all judgemental. I really really like her already, is that weird?”

See, I told you it would be exciting! I’m personally a big fan of instant connections. *Sigh* I’ve had a few really intense ones in my life, and they’re always something else. I choose to think of this interaction between her and EmeraldSkies as one of those instant connections, rather than Emmy jumping the gun about developing feelings. There’s just so many people in Overwatch at any given time that running into any given person is pretty rare. She doesn’t talk about it yet, but this may be the point where she starts to question whether or not she believes in fate. Though, I’m sure that’ll be something we talk about later on.

Thank you for listening to this episode of The Black Box Readings! Again, I have no idea what sort of reception the first episode received, since I’m recording this before it releases. I tried to match the energy of the first episode today, and I hope my personal rants mix well with the readings. Follow me on Twitter at TheCrookedGavel to stay up to date on this and other queer podcasts. Feel free to contact me there as well. This is An Capuano, signing off!

0 notes