#to a different quote that i still think i like more than

[gffa]

Disney, hire me as your Attachment Advisor, I will shove so many George Lucas quotes at your producers and writers, I will shove so many context-laden clips from the movies and TCW at your creatives, I will make powerpoint essays about how it's more Buddhist-aligned, not Attachment Theory-aligned, I will cite literally every time attachment has ever been discussed by Lucas AND in the show itself and show you that it's always aligned with fear, possessive feelings, and selfishness, I will do this work for you for free, I can even literally just point you to my Jedi Citations collection, DISNEY, HIRE ME AS YOUR ATTACHMENT ADVISOR, I CAN HELP YOU.

Everything I saw in the show aligned perfectly with my view of what the Jedi mean by attachment from the movies (especially with Episode II). You fail to understand that George Lucas words outside of the movies mean shit. You cane have the largest collection of words that has come out of Lucas's ass and it still does not change the movies. Look at the poster for AOTC. A Jedi shall not know love. Obi-Wan speaks beautifully about the undercurrent of remorse he feels for not being able to have an attachment with Satine because he lives by the Jedi Code which forbids it.

You people are so delusional.

Hi! You are so right bestie it has been way too long since I've talked about my love for Mace Windu! You are so right to have brought this up and I will meet your challenge! He is the Force's strongest soldier because the absolute nonsense he has to put up with every day, as someone who deals with the rest of the Council being hilarious assholes, who deals with Kenobi and Skywalker's nonsense, who has Yoda as a friend, and yet he seems to genuinely like all of these people?? Even when they're bonkers?? My man is stronger than I could ever be.

Not to mention, he goes on a whole ass mission with Jar-Jar, has to watch him make out with his girlfriend, the queen of the planet who told falsehoods about your family, and you have nothing but patience and kind words to say about them, and you only roll your eyes a little at Jar-Jar's antics, something even Padme does and she's worked with him even longer than you have, and by the end, you're friends with him, you like him and would probably hang out with him again if the chance arose???? Mace Windu is on ANOTHER LEVEL from what I would have done in his position!

And he's a former theater nerd! "The Council's gain was the theater's loss." Jocasta Nu says about how he didn't have time for it anymore after he got so busy with the Council, like can you IMAGINE Mace Windu doing plays? I want to know sooooooo bad how Jedi plays are different from non-Force-sensitive people's plays, I want to know what kind of cool effects they create with the Force, I want to know if they use their psychic empath abilities to literally connect with their audience! I want to know DOES MACE WINDU HELP THE YOUNGLINGS STAGE CUTE LITTLE PLAYS IN THE CRECHE? BECAUSE I BET HE DOES.

Because that man is so good with kids! Remember that Star Wars Adventures comic where he was so gentle and sweet with the little Twi'lek girl? Reaching down to help her up, smiling openly at her, walking with her back to her village to make sure she was safe, talking with her to make sure she understood how important and valuable she was in the galaxy? Because I'm still not over that!

His relationship with Anakin in canon is pretty great, too, like, yeah, Anakin should take a seat and stop borderline pitching a fit about getting a rank he didn't earn, and Mace still offered to believe him, despite that Anakin had accepted Palpatine's forcing the Council to put him on it. He still trusted Anakin to help him in that fight against Palpatine! Plus, oh, man, their banter on the Endurance when they're teaching the cadets? That was such good-natured teasing, that was exactly the kind of banter Anakin would have had with Obi-Wan, and by the end of that whole fiasco (do you ever think about when Anakin was in danger and Mace yelled, "Anakin!" and desperately yanked him to safety, because he was worried about him? because I think about that a lot), Mace complimented Artoo by saying he saw what Anakin saw in him, that he was complimenting Anakin at the same time? Or pretty much EVERY interaction between Mace and Yoda is absolute hilarity, the side-eye they give each other, the teasing Yoda does when Mace is on a mission with Jar-Jar, the way Mace holds his hand out in the comics for Yoda to springboard off of into the middle of a fight? ICONIC FRIENDSHIP, I WOULD TAKE A WHOLE NOVEL ABOUT IT, DISNEY.

Or that time even AT THE END OF THE CLONE WARS, like they are just a MONTH out from Revenge of the Sith, if that, and Mace is STILL trying to get the droids to stand down, that he's destroyed thousands of them, none of them have listened, but he's still trying, offering them a better life away from the war, a purpose again, even if he knows it probably won't work, that man still believed in compassion for anyone and everyone. Like, baby Boba Fett TRIED TO KILL HIM and Mace STILL argued for leniency and rehabilitation, rather than jail, because he saw a young child who was hurting and he wanted better for him. He was direct with Boba, he didn't try to befriend him, Boba would never have accepted that, but he told him, you're going to have to get over your hatred for me, he says this for Boba's sake, not his own, because he knows what poison the desire for revenge is, look at the path it's already leading Boba down.

Or EVERYTHING WITH THE ZILLO BEAST, he tried so hard to rescue that poor creature, he fought the Senate so hard, he was so gentle with the hand he carefully pressed to its face, even when the Zillo beast was dangerous, even when it had attacked them and could so easily kill more, he wanted leniency for it, he wanted to save it because he understood where it was coming from.

Or EVERYTHING WITH PROSSET DIBS, that guy tried to murder him, was ranting about how he would dance on their graves or whatever, and Mace looks at him and says, we need to help him, it's our duty to help him find the light again. And his big punishment is literally just library duty, because when Mace can decide the outcome, that guy always goes for helping people, always goes for the option that would bring them back to the light.

Even as a young Padawan, his greatest struggle was to temper his anger, which was sparked because PEOPLE WERE BEING HURT by the false prophet on Mathas, he was angry because he saw how many people were suffering and the people in charge just let it happen, his heart hangs heavy when he witnesses people in pain, because Mace Windu deeply, deeply cares about the people in the galaxy.

He cared about civilians, he cared about clones, he cared about his fellow Jedi, he didn't have to be bouncy or super smiley to show that, either. It was in every action he took. He cared so much.

And, okay, yeah, he was COOL AS HELL AND WOULD HAVE BEATEN PALPATINE'S WRINKLED ASS IN A FAIR FIGHT.

OR THAT TIME ON RYLOTH THAT WAS LITTERALLY THE COOLEST SCENE THEY EVER ANIMATED, THE SOUND DROP? THE ABSOLUTE BANGER PHYSICAL STUNTS MACE WAS CAPABLE OF? GODDAMN HE WAS SO GOOD.

AND LEST WE FORGET--CUTEST BB YOUNGLING EVER!!!!

#lumi.txt #star wars #mace windu #meta #i make myself laugh and that's all that's important #long post #feral gremlin length post

[mrabubu]

Heya! Ignore this if this is rude, sorry to just dump my opinions in your ask box like this!

About the Leosagi thing, it has a bit of a history in the tmnt fandom, that’s why it’s so popular now with the rise one. I’m not as knowledgeable as some older fans, but the Usagi comic book series and tmnt have been intertwined for a pretty long time. Crossovers and things have been happening almost every iteration, aside from rise. Each crossover tended to focus heavily on the friendship between Usagi and Leo, leading to a big chunk of the fandom shipping them in a bunch of the iterations.

The Usagi chronicles is widely regarded as a middle of the road show. It’s not amazing but it’s great to see the Usagi comic books get a show of their own! (in a, weird, several generations down the line way) The fact that it was released around the same time as rise, and that rise never got to have a Usagi crossover like most of the iterations before it, lead fans into taking the crossover into their own hands. It was tradition at that point, and those leading the charge happened to be the same ones who shipped Leosagi before rise, in 2003 and the like.

Leo being gay or trans has been a popular headcannon for a long time, probably because of the extremely queer fandom. Either way Leo in rise being more flamboyant than any Leo before him reinforced this I suppose. As someone who doesn’t mind the Leosagi ship (and is queer themself), I don’t think just because a guy is flamboyant or confident they’re gay. That’s a pretty small minded take and assuming that a guy can’t be flamboyant in any way without being “outside the norm” is a tale as old as time. But knowing this you can still have fun with flamboyant gay characters. I think some people can find comfort in head-cannoning a character as a confident, charismatic gay man!

But, aside from all of this, everyone should be allowed to do whatever they want with characters forever. People should not feel offended if anyone portrays a character as straight or gay, canon is fandoms personal playground and it doesn’t matter at the end of the day. I think your Y/N stuff is awesome and you should keep doing whatever you find joy in, because that’s what fandom is about. Try not to get too offended at the Leosagi shippers, tmnt has had this tradition long before rise, and it’s just the fandoms history moving forward with the newest iterations. Let the gay people go wild, doesn’t matter who they ship who with, if people are having fun and making art together.

I hope you don’t have to receive any kind of hate for the ship you prefer, you aren’t morally obligated to like anything, and this is your blog, you choose what happens here.

YOU are NOT being rude, anon, don't worry xd

Just in case, yeah, I know about history between TMNT and Usagi, and I know they had crossovers many times.

Again, I have no problems with people who enjoy their headcanons by themselves and don't touch anyone with it. You don't touch me, I don't touch you, simple as that. I'm not a fan of both these headcanons, so I just either keep scrolling or filter/hide them. I don't try to make people stop enjoying something they like because I have no right to do so.

About Leo, there was already a comment that I agree with, and I hope they don't mind if I quote them here:

"There's a difference between being flamboyant and being gay. Being flamboyant does not make you or someone gay. This is a common stereotype that can be harmful to the LGBTQ+ community. Being flamboyant is a way some people express themselves and their identity and trust me, it does not determine their sexual orientation or gender identity."

I have a little personal history with thing that is different, but has the same core, because I'm half-blood. One of my parents was from another country, and because of that some of my actions and personality have been judged based on my ethnicity.

Again, you headcanon Leo as gay? Okay, just please, don't try to make people believe it's canon. Because I've seen cases like this, and there's a whole video where a person basically says that Leo is gay and if you don't agree, "heck, you're wrong! And the fact that you don't agree only proves that it's canon" and a bunch of other "proves" that mostly made out of thin air. Like, wth...? Who gave you right to say something like that? You're not the creator of the show. And because of people like this there are a bunch of those who actually believe this headcanon to be canon.

For me it turns into a problem when people are crossing the line and start shoving their headcanons into your face, trying to prove/make you believe that it's canon, and simply being rude if you don't agree or just say that you don't like it. If a person didn't do anything to you personally, who said you have the right to being rude to them or even harass them?

If this behavior crosses the line of my interests, why do they have the right to be offended by my disagreement, but I have to ignore them if it hurts me?

Not to mention how bad I feel for RIse creators who are still being constantly pressured by people with all this which is NOT okay and shouldn't be okay.

Just in case, all this isn't directed personally to you, anon. I'm sorry for so much text again xd

#abubu ask

[pouletaulait]

"Do you even intend to quit – not really" 🧐

After reading Chapter 58 I thought about this exchange between Yashiro and Kage for a bit:

At first sight this might suggest that Yashiro actually considers staying in the Yakuza. I think based on what we know and how this statement is framed though, I come to the conclusion that this suggests the exact opposite in fact; Yashiro’s reluctance to stay in the Yakuza shines through yet again.

Granted, in the above scene Yashiro does in fact say that he doesn’t really want to quit BUT what he said before that stood out to me. Confronted by Kage about how he’s still affiliated with the Yakuza he first diverts his question by saying „don’t say things as if you’re an ordinary person“; I think this points out that Yashiro doesn’t like to think of himself as that different from Kage (or „civilian“ people in general, probably), he’s sorta putting the two of them onto the same level… outwardly he appears to lower Kage’s „status“ as a law-abiding citizen to his own, but, objectively speaking they both know that Kage is not in fact a shady person (at least from what I can tell, after all, he doesn’t appear to be affiliated with any „shady“ people apart from Yashiro and Kage always complains about Yashiro dragging him into these affairs). So, what this ends up doing is lifting Yashiro’s status up (I hope I’m phrasing this in a way that makes sense). Anyway, I think what this conveys is that Yashiro still looks down on Yakuza members (he’s definitely not proud of being one) and that he’s still not fully comfortable with people viewing him as a member or even acknowledging his Yakuza-status himself. He then goes on to say that it’s not easy to leave. Now, this could suggest a) that it has been on his mind (which we already know to be true) and b) that he feels the need to justify the fact that he’s still affiliated with them. Only when Kage questions him again Yashiro finally says that he doesn’t REALLY want to leave. His way of phrasing it doesn’t sound super convincing and he probably says that to get Kageyama off his case and also because, if he is honest with himself, he still can’t see himself actually taking that step after all. I know I might be reading too much into this but it stood out to me that Yashiro didn’t just throw Kage a snarky comment like „why the hell wouldn’t I still be a member?“, in the same vein as his first comment „what kind of upstanding guy runs a shady illegal casino?“ Instead he is somewhat opening up to Kage in his own way.

Anyway, this conversation is yet another puzzle piece that plays into the theory I’ve had from the beginning, that Yashiro will leave the Yakuza eventually. From all we know so far, Yashiro has never really come to terms with being a Yakuza and has generally a very negative opinion of them. The topic of Yashiro struggling to accept this role and the re-occurring questioning of what makes a Yakuza, who’s a good Yakuza, who’s not fit to be one, etc. strongly suggests to me that this is an integral part of this story as a whole and is most probably gonna be relevant to the conclusion of the story. It’s made clear that Yashiro never wanted to be Yakuza in the first place and he’s still reluctant, like… some 20 long years later 😯. I don't want to include too many quotes here because there are far too many instances that could be mentioned and this post is already getting too loooong, as you'll see 🫣, but there are some I'd like to mention. First I'd like to point to one quote from Yashiro that leads me to believe that to him being a Yakuza is not in fact his real identity but rather a role he is playing. He says to Ryuuzaki in Chapter 5:

He sees himself more as an actor rather than a real Yakuza and interestingly enough, that’s what he had aspired to become as a teenager: (aspire might be too strong of a word here but I think in a way he really did):

Now, I know that I'm arguing that Yashiro is talking about himself here ,even though, he's not just referring to himself in his comment to Ryuuzaki but the fact that he talks about Yakuza being just like actors in general and then further generalizing his statement to „people spend their lives acting“ still plays nicely into Yashiro's perception of his own life which will become relevant in a bit *bear with me*; it suggests that he thinks that people are not really free to be themselves because they have to play their role which emphasizes his passive approach to life in general „I have lived my life accepting it all“ (I reference this quote further down).

Every time Misumi tries to drag him in deeper, Yashiro is acting completely reluctant. We first saw this in the very beginning of the story when Misumi and Yashiro talk about the succession and Misumi says to Yashiro „be mine once more“ (Yashiro doesn’t want to give him an answer), when we learn through Hirata’s secret recordings about the details of another conversation between Misumi and Yashiro in Chapter 14 (Yashiro still doesn’t give a straight answer) and we see it again in Chapter 36 when Misumi basically says to Yashiro „don’t forget what you are“ after the time-skip (Yashiro distracts Misumi from the conversation by provoking him). He doesn't agree to anything but he never outright refuses either (he's completely passive).

His reluctance is further demonstrated by the fact that after the time-skip Yashiro’s not really a full member anymore. He used what happened after Hirata’s attack on him to the best of his abilities in a way to distance himself from the group but he couldn’t take the last step. But this clearly points to Yashiro wanting to get out for good.

I think it’s noteworthy that the only time he completely rejects the idea of quitting (as far as I remember), is in Chapter 27 when he speaks to Ryuuzaki in the back of the police car:

This stands out to me because he says this after he’d made up his mind that he was gonna die. So why keep fighting it at this point? (I’m so glad our cute boy is not in such a dark place anymore 😭)

Yashiro has also tried to keep Doumeki out of this world because he cares so much about him. Unfortunately, he wasn’t successful but the statement Yashiro made about the Yakuza in Chapter 22 becomes relevant again, now that Doumeki got a back tattoo (which as we all know made Yashiro furious beyond belief). Yashiro said something along the lines of „do you have any idea how many upright citizens walk around out there with full body tattoos? And how many Yakuza wear normal business suits?“( I hope this translation is somewhat accurate . I had to take it from the official German translation which is not the most exact at times but the only English translation I could find, didn’t seem to be correct 😅) Basically he’s saying, it’s never too late to quit. This was some unfortunate foreshadowing if you ask me but it gives me hope that Doumeki’s status as a full-fledged member and him getting a tattoo won’t prevent them from leaving the Yakuza world behind.

I just cannot imagine Yoneda-sensei making this aspect such an integral part of Yashiro’s character and bringing this topic up again and again if it isn’t gonna be relevant in the end… I know it might be a red herring but I really doubt it at this point. I read the manga as a story of a traumatized survivor of SA finding happiness in life (yes, I’m very hopeful that both Doumeki and Yashiro are gonna make it out alive because anything else would be too cruel🫣). For Yashiro the Yakuza is a hindrance to his freedom and happiness because it’s not who he truly is as a person and as long as he stays he’s going to be under Misumi’s control and Misumi is gonna try to use him, just like his stepfather and all the other men who SAed him when he was a teenager used him. In a way he’s still this powerless child getting used by others. He was an easy target for Misumi because Yashiro was „completely indifferent about himself“ as Misumi put it. This indifference stems from the abuse he suffered. When Yashiro got shot he remembered the SA and he says: „I have lived my life accepting it all. I’ve felt no sorrow. I’ve blamed no one. My life can’t be said to be anyone else’s fault.“ This expresses exactly what Misumi saw in Yashiro: He’s so broken that he doesn't even feel anger, he is beyond caring about himself, his well-being, his future. Putting it differently; he doesn’t love himself and he doesn’t think that he deserves love or a different, better life. This is why he doesn’t really put up a fight against this fate. He’s still passively accepting everything.

To sum this up, it’s mainly his trauma that prevents him from quitting, just like it keeps him from being able to accept Doumeki’s love. Since I believe this story is about Yashiro overcoming his trauma and finding happiness, I think it would only be fitting that once he’ll be able to accept that he is deserving of love, hope and happiness, he’d finally find the courage to take control of his own fate and break away from the path that he felt forced to follow.

And yes, I'm aware that quitting won't be that easy because of Misumi's obsession over Yashiro BUT even though I don't like Misumi too much and I think he's a creep, he's in his own way quite lenient when it comes to Yashiro, I have to give him that. So, I have high hopes that he actually meant what he said about "caring about Yashiro as a person" and will let him leave without too much trouble.

Of course we don’t know much about Doumeki’s plans for his future but if Yashiro and him end up together (which is what I’m hoping for) he’ll most likely go along with Yashiro’s wishes, I guess 😉 And I know, sweet Nanahara would be disappointed but I bet Yashiro and Doumeki would still find a way to adopt their big baby boy into their little family 😜

maybe they’re gonna open up a beach bar in Hawai’i and Nanahara would flirt with the guests and give away all the drinks for free 🤣

On a more serious note, I hope I didn’t get any of the quotes completely wrong. Nuances tend to get lost in translation so it’s kinda "risky" to base a theory like this solely on translations but most of it comes down to my personal interpretation of the story anyways. And I’m sorry if most of this seemed too obvious but I got the impression that I seem to feel more strongly about the fact that Yashiro might gonna leave his days as a Yakuza behind than others in the fandom and I felt the need to present my case 😉

If you actually made it through my ramblings to down here, you deserve some 🍪🍪🍪 😘

#saezuru chapter 58 #saezuru #saezuru tori wa habatakanai #twittering birds never fly #saezuru analysis #spread your wings and fly away yashiro #fly away far away #spread your little wings and fly away far away #now I can't get that song out of my head #spare me mr mercury #don't stop me now I'm having such a good time I'm having a ball

[thethiefandtheairbender]

Thank you so much for answering my anchor question.

I’m happy to see aro rep but I think I’ll headcanon Myuna to be bi if that’s ok. I hope she ends up with Chen though. I’m a sucker for romance.

I stopped watching the dragon prince after season 4 cause I disliked season 4 so much. I’m afraid of picking up season 5. I loved the first 3 seasons though especially season 3 had lots of rayllum scenes.

Honestly I’m tempted to rewatch the whole thing just to get to the pirate arc. I remember loving Callum and Rayla as a couple in season 3 but again season 4 really wasn’t my cup of tea.

I think she can definitely be a bi oriented aroace (I don't think the gender of her partners would matter to her) so why not both? I'm pan and ace and aro spec myself!

Honestly I loved S4 but that's because I liked what it did with stuff theme / character wise (i.e. love isn't always good and you will do awful things for the people you love), and I always expected Callum and Rayla to begin to have to jump the hurdle of "Rayla's trauma makes her hyperindependent and that's detrimental to her core relationships" so I like that we're finally getting to it cause I'd been waiting for it since like s2. It's not the happiest part of their arc by far but it's absolutely something they've always needed to address. (I also like filler and I think S4 was a great season for Ezran). I know most people (even ones who didn't like S4) LOVE s5 and have it as their favourite or 2nd favourite season (usually with s2 or s3 as their other fave); it's my second favourite as well after s3 and S5 has my favourite Rayllum scenes / development by far.

These are just some of my fave moments from the first two episodes and I don't want to give away more spoilers but like. S5 is so freaking good on like all counts but particularly for these two, and I cannot wait to see where everything goes - it does a great job at offering pay off for S4, developing its own thing, and steering things ahead for S6. Also has some of the most interesting imagery / development for the show thus far in terms of dreams/nightmares, and Kim'Dael is a treat all on her own as an antagonist in the Sunfire elf plot line

Some of my best stuff on AO3 is also just post S4 if you're interested like "older but just never wiser" and "this fall just might kill me" both of which ended up being predictive of S5 in some ways, which is just chef's kiss

#thanks for asking #anonymous #i almost changed their otp tag bc of this season #to a different quote that i still think i like more than #otp: the most amazing person i've ever met #but it's also a parallel in the exact way i was hoping for & i just know s6 will deliver even harder

[whoify]

okay sorry i took the clara lover vs hater quiz again and i just need to talk about this quote bc it’s genuinely the stupidest fucking thing i’ve ever seen

sorry to the person that originally said this but it genuinely makes me laugh. like. what? character switches their job from watching kids (nanny) to watching kids (teacher) and their whole life doesn’t immediately blow up so they must not have anything else going on. spacetime-traveling character’s biggest thing going on ISN’T her career shift? i don’t think this person has ever had a job

#milk post #just like. on a real level nanny and teacher have extremely transferable skills btwn them and someone who has worked with kids could def ge #hired as a teacher once they got the qualifications? #why would anything change 😭 i’ve changed jobs btwn way more fuckin different fields than that and idk dawg my life is p similar still #like. okay so YOU think the only important thing about this character is her job #also i still disagree with several quotes being designated as ‘clara lover’ quotes on that quiz like if you think she was poorly written an #annoying and a mary sue and two dimensional what exactly are you loving 🤨

[mikesbasementbeets]

will in the van scene: i’m different (gay), which sometimes makes me feel like a mistake. but mike makes me feel like i'm not a mistake.

some people: wow... will would be ok with being gay if he wasn't gay for mike :/

will: no no no, i said mike makes me feel better for being different

some people: so tragic :/ gay boy would be ok with gay if only not for gay crush on mike

will: no listen that's the opposite of what i'm saying

some people: poor gay boy :/ so sad :/ let's cry everyone :/

#hi. that post died. it was a bad post the first time it was made. and it’s still a bad post. #loving mike makes will feel like being different is ok actually he explicitly says it. on your screen. in the show. #remember that? #also why do we have to make new posts that just say ‘hey remember this post let me just quote it exactly and make it mine instead’ #idk i just think if you want to claim to understand a character better than other people you should maybe watch the show more than like. One #time total. i think that would help. #anyway sorry byeeeeeeee #(requisite disclaimer I know different in that context is about more than being gay. but for the purpose of this post. yk) #beets posts

[voiceofsword]

Don't ask an enstarrie about their otp worst mistake of your life

The main story. Ouuuugh. Tatsumi just casually complimenting Mayoi or initiating affection.

Tatsumi saying "I think it's a waste you always hide your beautiful face, Mayoi." like the first time these two had a one on one conversation... okay man

Also the main story showing that they both help each other!! Physically and emotionally!!! Tatsumi helped Mayoi when he got sick from being in public and trying to help him with his deprecating thoughts. Tatsumi confides in Mayoi about what happened at reimei before the others and Mayoi carried him when he was tired or in pain. Mayoi says he wants to see the human and dark side of Tatsumi. I'm adding the quote it's so good.

"I hope I will always be the one who understands and accepts him. Including his faults, his dark side – his everything."

SS... screams. The fucking. Line. "Haha. It's okay, Mayoi. You are like a great mother to these kids. Meanwhile, you're also an irreplaceable partner to me." Followed by Mayoi saying "I'm not a mother or a wife, please?!" They're soooo ♡ it's a bit of a debate to alkaloidPs on whether alkaloid should be called a found family and although I'm kind of in the middle I will admit these little interactions are cute. Tatsumi casually assigning Mayoi as a mom friend and him as the dad. Real smooth of you. Side note: I think Tatsumi gets to see another side of Mayoi because later on in the story Tatsumi points out a growth in Mayoi's character and tells him to quiet down after he freaks out about it and Mayoi retaliates by telling him he's the reason he made any noise in the first place. I don't think they'd bicker that much honestly but ♡♡♡ pouty Mayoi could you imagine. Only Tatsumi gets to see it though booooo. There's no lines that really stand out but also Mayoi (+ the juniors) do notice when Tatsumi's health is declining further on in the story. The juniors are more subtle but Mayoi asks when they're on stage. Teehee

They never really get big moments so the rest of what I have are just small little funnier pieces of dialogue... sobs. I'm gonna follow this ask up with one more story though... hehe

THATS SO SWEET... i do remember some of this from main story (especially mayoi carrying tatsumi on his back when his leg pain started to act up again)

its always so ww lovely (lol) when charas constantly go out of their way to help, uplift each other. especially when they make it a point to nurture both their perceived good and bad sides, they can appreciate everything about the other person and feel safe with them regardless 🥺

always being alert for when the other is down so they can pick them up... its one of the reasons i think they mesh well, on account of tatsumi (chronically ill) and mayoi (mayoi) being two people who've both struggled with their health for various reasons, that they can have someone they can openly rely on and eventually not feel like a burden, but that doesnt necessarily mean they will treat each other like glass (i think early on this is more the case but as time advances i can only hope they grow more confident with each other..? pleading emoji again)

but also the. that line kind of just took me out. suethdtgushwergu its so silly. i think while tatsumi is probably completely genuine in some of the things he says that fluster mayoi itd be even funnier to consider him saying stuff like that to fluster him on purpose, considering mayoi makes such a big deal out of it. not to laugh or anything, but because he thinks its cute. arghhghh. holy man who is a little cheeky and little creature who tries his best not to melt in his light. tatsumi seems to be a man that has a lot of affection to give while mayois completely foreign to the concept.

putting this under a read more because it doesnt really pertain to ttmy but more a comment on the found family debate u mentioned, but along the vein of the ss comment

(i personally do think alkaloid could be kind of a found family, but i understand some people's wariness towards it since a lot of the time it just forces the characters into nuclear roles — it's rly easy to forget ur friends can be your family too :').

ofc that line leaves little to the imagination as to what tatsumi means but i think in This Case implying he's the 'dad' of alkaloid is telling of himself for Obbligato Reasons™. putting them in what he considers to be traditional roles and choosing himself as the father figure of the group shows that hes someone who subconsciously takes charge and 'bears the burdens' of the rest of alkaloid. this is ofc not me trying to say that should be the case, fictional or not, but judging by tatsumis past behavior it just makes sense to me that this is a thought pattern he would pick up.

but its also killing me that he cant find another way to express his appreciation towards mayoi than being like You are like the mother to my children. asjhkdsdkjhfkj. can somebody teach this man how to flirt normally!!

that being said, theyre all like.. almost the same age so the assertion is rly funny to me, i love tatsumis old man roleplaying sometimes. i truly do think in his head that he thinks this family dynamic is 100% real. the other 3? not so much)

#mimthinks #FOR THE RECORD in the read more. this is not me being like that quote sucks bc i think it still rules. its still crazy gay #just in a different way. but genuinely i do think tatsumi thinks like that #whereas mayois like (flustered) huh. HUH??? QWAR. what do you MEAN?? #more at the audacity of the statement than anything else... #i will take a look at the other ask later ww i am not who i used to be a year ago.. writing more than 2 sentences takes me OUT

[finniestoncrane]

running around in a circle tugging at my hair and holding back tears: too many things too many things too many things too many things too many thi

#if i could just. focus. for more than 30 seconds at a time #i write one sentence of a fic and then go and check my work emails #but while i'm there i'm like oh wonder if tumblr looks different on the remote desktop internet #it doesn't but i get distracted anyway until i realise and close it down #and then go back to my own desktop to look at tumblr #where i promptly get distracted for minimum ten minutes before i catch sight of the messages i haven't responded to yet #and i type a couple words out and then think oh shit i have messages on discord #so i go there #and get distracted by scrolling through not even new messages #maybe type a few words of a message before i mark it as unread because i'm like #oh i gotta finished writing the next chapter of my thing #and then i'm like hmmm but tempting commission work #and then i go actually i guess if i'm going to take a rbeak i'll do some drawing #so i grab my ipad which is still open on creepshow which i was watching last night #and so i start watching it but i can't focus because there's something else going on #and i realise i'm already watching the simpsons on my phone which explains why i have five different simpsons quotes on repeat in my head #and then i realise that there's a song playing on spotify on my laptop #and amidst those three noises i am also entertaining myself with in my head vocal stims and out loud vocal stims #and my anxiety is like hey... wanna worry about something #AND I JUST WANT TO FOCUS LIKE ONE THING AT A FUCKIN TIME ONE FUCKIN THING #finnie shouts into the void

[kyouka-supremacy]

"#Also rip to the pages that fueled my sskk unrequited love agenda for one years " Oh you're finally done ? Even after you saw the confirmation it was requited I still saw you clinging to it so I'm surprised

Okay I elaborated plenty on my thoughts on unrequited sskk in the last ask but “oh you're finally done with your sskk unrequited love agenda” may as well be the funniest thing anyone has ever said to me. Long story short the anime may have deleted its potential canon basis and the manga may have disproven it in the meantime anyway but I'm taking my unrequited sskk agenda with me to the grave by sheer power of not caring about what canon says

#I feel like people perceive me as a strong unrequited sskk supporter because. #Well I guess it's not that common to ship something but also believe it's unrequited (???) #But jokes aside realistically it's not like I like unrequited sskk more than requited sskk. #I've probably made as much Atsushi loves Akutagawa posts as I did regarding unrequited sskk #I just think. It's a funny concept to explore!! #And I also think reading Atsushi and Akutagawa as if they got together in like chapter 36 is diminishing their complex and multilayered– #relationship and overall just missing out on a lot of fun #But my favorite fics are still domestic sskk happily loving each other in the end it's not that deep ahah #I just have fun pondering over one concept and then the other isn't this what enjoying media is all about #people asks me stuff #On a different note made a typo on a sentence that was later quoted 12 death 62 injured

[dix-rose]

voice acting is such an underrated form of art like I know a lot of people focus on like the big names like Strong, DeLisle, Kenny, just to name a few because they have "range" but thinking about the actual WORK that goes into it?? Incredible.

#I'm gonna talk a lot in the tags as per usual but this time it's important #I say range in quotes because even though they're big name people I feel like at the end of the day they're putting on the same voice #in different pitches #but I might be biased because Strong and DeLisle rub me the wrong way now and in a way it kinda hurts so of course I'm gonna feel strongly #but I'm watching wreck it ralph again and I just wanna say holy SHIT #the emotion in the way they read these lines is INCREDIBLE #and I feel like that's so overlooked #thinking about it you're still ACTING and in a way I feel like it's a different form of difficult #because you're not like in a live action movie where you can physically interact with your cast and get the same effect #like running I assume in a live action movie you would probably be running to get that vocal panting #but unless they send their people on runs before they do their lines #it's just incredible #also I don't want to discredit the big names they are PLENTY talented #like Tom Kenny I *love* him #I just want to appreciate more than just range in pitch

[daz4i]

sometimes bsd reddit can be fun but sometimes i will go on it and see posts like "why do people think dazai is depressed? i don't remember it ever being mentioned, is it just a common fanon thing?"

#ppl in the comments answering seriously and gently are stronger and more patient than i ever could be #this subreddit is such a weird mix of normal reddit behavior (hating gay people) and tiktok (having no reading comprehension) #yet somehow it's still the most normal one. if you ignore the mostly childish humor going on #(i feel like i sound very snooty but. i think most of you would agree with me) #btw the quote in the post isn't real ajdkflhh just embodying the vibes of the things i see sometimes. #it almost feels like i read a different story or know different characters from these people #(i do see an occasional good take. and alternate readings that help my own analysis sometimes too which is nice) #(like the different approach to the story gives another angle. even if i don't agree with it i get why ppl see it that way) #(this is mostly true abt nikolai related stuff lol bc ik i have a very fixed view of him i tend to not budge on :P)

[neverendingford]

.

#contemplating the existence of loving yet uncommitted relationships. relationships of mutual convenience not romantic but still not platonic #tag talk #like. I want intimacy. I want to love and be loved. but the usual understanding of that is that you are committed. you are locked in. #taking a break from a relationship is code for “we're breaking up”. there's is no getting out without destroying the bond #I wonder if the classic Tom Cruise c love a woman but next movie she's dead“ trope could be seen as a version of that. #a socially acceptable way to love someone until you're done and then move on to the next thing. #a lot of my hookups have been a one time deal even though I would have liked to see them again. because they got too attached. #people see love and presume romance. people see openness and presume emotional connection and commitment. #if your friend is having a rough time and needs to disappear for a week. that's okay. but a partner suddenly can't. #there's less permissable distance in a romantic relationship. #why can't I do the classic spaghetti western thing? ride into town. help out and be appreciated for it. and then leave when I feel it's time #cue that magnificent seven quote that's like “cowboys are like the wind and farmers are like the land”. there are different ways to live #and social interaction is a numbers game. meeting people until you finally find someone you're compatible with. #and the more particular or non-standard you are. the more your success pool narrows. or at least that's how it feels #I know the reality is that there's more relationship diversity out there than it seems. because divergence is suppressed and hidden. #but that contributes to it being harder to find. more difficult to seek. more culturally shameful to pursue. #I don't think I've ever seen a fwb relationship in media that's not either played for laughs or turned into a romance eventually #the classic “men want fwbs and women want a committed relationship” ☠️ it's not a concept that gets taken seriously. #I just.. ugh. I feel like I'm pushing against the entire weight of my upbringing because what I innately desire is so far from acceptable #and I've unlearned so much self criticism and policing. but there's so much more to go and I just. ugh. it's so exhausting

[todayisafridaynight]

i think i would have gone loco if jo and aoki got to meet up just once after ichi breaks through to him like. the damage to my psyche id have wouldve been immeasurable, irreparable even

#snap chats #im at the vet waiting for my dog please listen to shit thats been tormenting me for months #finally releasing all of my drafted thoughts im ill and im free #srry i know i talked bout it already in todays ask but im still thinking about it #this is also inspod by one of my twitter mutuals saying aoki’s death was the only foreseeable path for him like girl i thought we were fam #but no 😭 ill stand by forever that him dying was legit so dumb and unnecessary idc idc 😭 #anyway. let me begin. because its not as if aoki wasnt conscious of jo constantly tailing him #take a shot every time i quote the Lost Dog comment its just such a good line and just exposes jo its my everything ok leave me alone #but please just like. in the weird timeline where jo and aoki did get to be cellmates- or at least were in the same cell block right #id throw up and cry if aoki looked at jo differently that day. like it doesnt help that jo’s without all his flash and flair #hes just in slacks and his hairs all tussled and he just looks So Normal. like hes Not a murderer #as soon as that warden bring aoki in i know jo movin to see him with all the love and concern only a father got #aokid never say sorry i just know hed be awkward as hell in jo’s presence now #like if aoki really did take ichis words to heart and starts to actually see jo as his family and as someone who cares about him for him #id kill myself on the spot thats why they had to kill aoki #no id die and throw up if aoki just outright asks jo if he does care about him or something like that #jo gonna need to muster up every ounce of his will to say he does not because he doesnt but because hes Just Like That. hes a hard nut #but he loves his kid more than anything and im gonna tear my organs out thinking about it #jo your kid sucks but ik you still love him thats the worst part #i wanna write or draw somethin with them in jail together so bad but i always get distracted #and again i have comms to do today. #OH BUT SPEAKING OF MY DUMB ASS DOG GOT LYME DISEASE 😭😭😭 #they said he should be fine in like six months if we’re good with meds but still.... this is lame..... #ALSO I FOUND OUT MY POM MIX IS PREDOMINANTLY A PAPILLON..... thats fucked up yo butterfly dog... #ok im gonna go be insane idk how much else i could elaborate on this bye bye

[snekdood]

I feel like the idea of "forgiveness" for people who've hurt you is like... Pretty christian based? Bc ngl. Why tf am i forgiving someone who abused me a lot. If we're talking "mental peace"... Well bud i kinda just gotta not think about it or when i do to work on my emotions around it so i can cope better with my trauma. Literally why am i forgiving people who dont regret hurting me and who would never apologize and how exactly does that bring more "peace"? Bc personally id feel like im ignoring something that bothers me a lot just so i can tolerate being around it when idk. Theres people who i definitely dont need to tolerate being around lol.

#forgiveness #quote unquote #some of these people would actively continue trying to hurt me if i was still around them and literally wtf is the use #of forgiveness then??? #being unfazed by their presence seems to be the better alternative as well as ignoring them..? #or idk. literally fucking leaving the room if they arrive. #'forgiveness' is what christians do towards non christians who fail to fail to be christians. its patronizing. its assumptive. #as if those people are somehow spiritually crying out that theyre sorry. thats how christians are w forgiveness. #how tf is what id be doing if i 'forgive' my abusers any different #its 'forgiveness' with the assumption that some day the person whos hurting you or in this case simply not christian will actually #decide you were right and 'apologize' for going against them #idk about you but i dont want to live in a false reality daydream that my abuser will someday be normal and nice and empathetic #how is that a useful belief at all in the long run. im just convincing myself somethings gonna happen that wont. #i think more ppl should go about the world assuming their abuser doesnt give a fuck and never will bc quite honestly that seems more likely #ive never felt peaceful when i attmept to forgive people knowing inside im still upset with them #however i feel much more peaceful when i embrace the fact they dont care and thus i dont have to care about them either 🤷 #like accepting the current facts brings me more relief than speculating on the future. #idk but i kinda refuse to forgive people who dont regret their actions towards me and who dont give af about me #if getting caught up in resentment is the issue... then you need some therapy of sorts to work on the resentment so you can get to a point #where you dont give a fuck if they do apologize. not assume someday like a pretentious asshole that theyll apologize #literally im nowhere near that important to my abusers for them to do that

[arolesbianism]

hello gamers minor life update I have been doing Real bad lately so I will likely continue to be very inactive, but hey on the bright side I have been fleshing out some eternal gales lore I reworked a while back and I can happily say that Dodie no longer completely contradicts the very nature of reality in eternal gales and the fog tower™ officially has a real reason to exist again so hell yeah to that

#rat rambles #eternal gales #oc posting #this is a piece of lore I technically updated a while ago but I mostly just relocated dodie home to a different piece of worldbuilding #but now Im fleshing things out a bit more and Im so glad that I set myself up such an easy way to jump ship on the old stuff #it also makes my life easier because it means that I have an actual reason for mase to be the first person dodie encounters in person #also an actual reason to trap him at first sorry dude it adds to the suspense #longggggg story short dodie lives in the universe's core of sorts #its where all the other characters are transported to at the beginning of the story due to other stuff #I already had it as a thing that the core attempts to replicate the casts home and food and such to help maintain them #but the fog tower™ had its core echo in place since forever basically #mostly because the narrator wanted to get dodie a home set up in the core instead of having to find a way to house her in notmal society #now the tower wasnt exactly meant to be found but it still had to be real enough to actually get echoed so it was real enough to be found #hense why mase's family lives in the lower half of it #the top half is fully reserved for setting up stuff to be echoed to dodie's tower #this is mostly handled my cup aka dodie's long distance mom figure #but most of that stuff was done before dodie was properly created and as such cup had to fight for their life to figure out how to best get #this child growing up in fucked up situations as happy and stable as they could with limited budget and time #they were also dealing with doing a lot of this behind the backs of mase's parents as the two wanted them to provide just the bare basics #despite this cup managed to sneak in a shit ton more video tapes than they were supposed to and attempted to cover as much as possible #ofc dodie still ended up incredibly unstable and fucked up anways but she still loves her long distance video mom dearly #up til she was like 12 or so those tapes were the only way she could see and hear another person #but yeah in the echoed version the lower half of the tower is mostly consumed by plantlife and the such #hense why dodie avoids the area like the plague she has hashtag issues regarding plants #oh yeah Ive also been thinking abt fydd a lot lately #I have been slowly developing a bit of a side plot for him in my head that Im not 100% sure Im going to commit to but Im mivrowaving it #basically I was thinking abt each of the human casts sort of quote unquote domains are #by that I mean the whole reason they get drawn to the universe core is because theyre all sorta connected to universe functions #fydd is one of the weird ones because his place in the system is the basic software ig would be the best way to put it? #hes connected to the very base of the system that the rest of the functions are built into

[loganlermanstanaccount]

Hello! Could you please write a stubborn, jealous hc for Miguel o'hara? Thank you!!

I had the brainworms, so I hope this is what you were looking for! Thanks for the ask <3

Jealous!Miguel O'Hara Headcanons

(AO3 Mirror), Main Masterlist

pairing: jealous!Miguel O'Hara x reader

summary: stubborn HCs for jealous!Miguel O'Hara. 

a/n: this was meant to be a drabble and i basically wrote a full fic. i have zero self control lmfao

warnings: smut (fingering, f receiving oral, slight brat taming, etc) right at the very end, 18+ from then onwards, the rest is more pg-13

wc: 3.5k ish

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Long story short: he's a stubborn little shit.

Pig-headed as fuck and it shows up in little things. 

Let's say you first met as coworkers, and you were a lab technician at Alchemax. 

Think: unstoppable force meets immovable object. He likes his labs just so, with very specific equipment in a very specific configuration. 

It drives you crazy, regularly having tiffs outside the labs; much to the chagrin of your coworkers. 

"Jesus." Your coworker mutters, wincing at the seemingly heated argument by the water cooler. 

"Ignore it, Maeve." Another coworker rolls their eyes, nudging Mave with a snort. "They're at it again . S'pose they'll tire each other out by the end of the day."

Not that they were wrong. But this time, it wasn't your fault: dealing with O'Hara's bullshit had really taken it's toll. He was insufferable, prone to nitpicking and just plain mean. You could hardly be blamed if you gave him some of your own choice words. 

"My notes were basically paint-by-fucking-numbers!  How could you mess up a simple distillation? When I specify precision glassware , you don't think that's fucking important?" 

"Your notes ," You draw air quotes pointedly at him. "-are illegible, you fucking cretin! Maybe if you didn't write like a goddamn pre-schooler-"

"- preschooler? Oh , fuck you!" 

"Get your nose out of that highschool Chem textbook, O'Hara, this is a fucking job."

"Yeah? Stop using it to wipe your ass and you might learn a thing or two."

"Oh , so that's what we're doing?" You laugh in his face, so angry your hand curls into tight fists. You get close, staring him down as you look upwards through your lashes. His own face is contorted into a grimace; bushy eyebrows furrowed into deep shadows around his eyes. You can feel his steady breathing before he speaks, low and rumbling. 

"I could do this all day, princesa. " 

You scoff, ignoring the way his words weaken your knees. The one time you asked for a break during a long lab and he won't stop calling you a spoilt princess. His laughter then stings in your ears now, the ghost of a smirk on his face as you storm off. Miguel O'Hara: smug bastard. He would be the death of you, you're sure. 

~~~

You spend many a late night with him, unwittingly, and find out he's more than a stubborn little shit. 

You find out he's funny, and shares the same anti-Alchemax tendencies you do: both preyed upon by the company immediately after graduation, young and naive. 

He's kind, even though he'd never admit it, often finishing up the lab notes and doing more than his fair share of work so you can go home at a reasonable time. 

You both still butt heads, but it turns into a tentative friendship - coffees in the morning hidden as blaise convenience, covering for each other at work, and defending the other when office gossip goes too far. 

That's why when he comes back to work after a week-long stint away - something about a blow up with the boss, an issue described as 'miscommunication, promptly smoothed over' by anyone official - you notice… something's different about him. 

You first noticed something was off when he walked in without a snide remark. You left a mug overnight at the counter, something that would usually draw a sarcastic comment at the least , but he gives you… nothing. Blank, glassy eyes as he opens up his workstation - clicking away at the keys without so much as a glance.

"O'Hara?" You call, but he doesn't even look up. You walk to his workstation and knock at the desk. He jumps. God, he looks worse for the wear. Heavy bags under his eyes and a bruise blossoming under his collar. 

"You okay?" 

He rubs his temples, eyes flitting up at you.  "Yeah, just…. just a long week, s'all." 

You put a hand on his shoulder, and you swear he leans into your touch. "We can reschedule, tonight. The calculations can wait, Miguel."

He gives you a weak smile, but a smile nevertheless. "S'okay. Need to make sure you don't fuck it up."

"Don't push your luck, O'Hara."

~~~

As you get closer, you notice just how stubborn he is to admit the growing tension between you two. 

Late nights at the lab turn into takeout at your place, morning coffee turns into a pleasant 20 minutes on the rooftop away from the hustle and bustle - just you and Miguel, talking and joking with a cup of shitty coffee in hand. 

Wholly, he seems more assertive at work, not as quick to roll over. 

It's hot, you have to admit; watching him fight with someone else other than you. 

You're at work drinks with the other technicians and engineers, nursing a watery beer when another colleague makes small talk with you at the bar.

You’ve never been that close to him, and the conversation is amicable enough, but you’re almost bowled over when you see Miguel, in the corner, staring straight at you with a stormy look.

You suppose it's a little pathetic, getting all dressed up for a casual drink. Lips shiny with gloss and gently powdered with makeup, you feel a little out of place. For all your talk at work, actually being here was another thing. Suddenly, your blouse is too tight and your skirt too short. With a manicured finger, you trace the lip of your glass filled with watery beer. You sigh. You don't want to admit it, but you were only here because of Miguel. He said he would come, and now you're sitting on a barstool counting the chips in your glass. 

It was probably for the best. You sink into the absentminded chatter of your colleagues around you, until there's a tap at your shoulder. 

"Is someone-" He clears his throat; a tall man dressed in a sharp suit nodding gracefully towards the empty chair. "-is this seat taken?" 

You shake your head, grateful for the company. He's handsome, sharp features curving into a wry grin as he calls for a drink. 

"...and something other than shitty beer for the pretty girl, too." It makes you laugh, light and lilting in the bustle of the bar. 

He stretches out his hand, and you take it. 

"Eddie Crouch. I work in marketing."

Eddie…. as in… head of the most profitable division of Alchemax? Your eyes widen involuntarily and you try to clamp down your immediate shock, somewhat unsuccessfully. He narrows his eyes as you tumble over your words. 

"Y-Yeah, same! I mean, not same , I just work in the l-labs and I thought it was just for us guys, working behind the curtain, y'know? Not that we're not thrilled to have you here, because we a-are." You spill out, wincing. "....Is this about the performance reviews? Because I know output was down this quarter but our projections are-"

"I'm not here to talk about work." He chuckles. You squint, not convinced. As if to alleviate your concerns, he loosens his tie and undoes his top buttons with a flourish. 

"Can I tell you a secret?" He leans in, and the air becomes thick with expensive perfume. He twirls the signet ring on his finger, a ring probably worth more than your monthly paycheck. 

"Your boss invited me," Discreetly, he stretches a finger at your boss; a man ruddy cheeked and red-faced with alcohol. "Guess he thought it would boost morale. He's a fucking idiot if he thinks having me, the one guy that could fire your entire department without recourse, exchange empty platitudes would boost morale. But, I digress. So here I am, dragging my feet to this bar, thinking I'm gonna get in, read the lines and get out. But then, " He pauses with dramatic effect. "I see the most beautiful person I've ever had the pleasure of laying my eyes on, just sitting by the bar. Like everyone isn't already falling over themselves to talk to you."

The irony is palpable. It's sickly sweet, and a line that wouldn't usually work on you. But usually, you weren't pining over a man so prickly and stubborn, you shouldn't have feelings for. Here you were, bright cocktail in front of you and a moderately attractive man by your side. He wasn't quite Miguel, but in the words of one of the greatest thinkers of the past age: country girls make do. 

And so you make lazy conversation with the man. So lost in a tipsy haze, you barely notice Miguel walk in; dark jacket on his shoulders and deliciously loose slacks. You're drawn to him, his eyes seemingly searching the room, and you sigh into your drink. Technically, he looks like shit: eyes dark-rimmed and sunken, a cut at his brow. You think he is gorgeous, eyes tracing the slope of his nose and plush lips. Like he can sense it, he glances over in your direction and you look away hastily. He's watching , you can feel its burn as you turn, pretending to listen to the man besides you. A little cruelly, you lean into him, not breaking eye contact and curling a hand around his arm to laugh at a stupid joke. Eddie laughs with you, oblivious, as you glance behind him. 

Miguel stands with a drink thrust into his hands, looking straight through him, eyes low and gazing at you. 

~~~

He insists on walking you home, a steady hand on the small of your back as you stumble through the streets of Nueva York.

You make light conversation, tipsy and giggly from the alcohol. Miguel seems a little more put together, but his chest still creaks with rumbling laughter.

He definitely walks on the side of the pavement nearest the street, because he thinks it keeps you safer. 

He walks you up the stairs and by the door of your apartment, like a gentleman. You watch him get nervous suddenly, and he hesitates, stubbornly digging in his heels and pausing you from opening the door and coming in. 

You don't want it to end, opting to take the walk up the stairs as opposed to the lift. It's one of your more questionable decisions as you stumble up the stairs, almost tripping over your own feet. Miguel is quick to catch you even though he was just as drunk. Arm around your waist, he leaves searing touches to your hip. You giggle despite yourself, and he can't help but smile at your clumsiness. 

"If you break your legs I won't carry you, princesa ." A lie and you both know it. He would carry you to the ends of the earth like a blushing bride, if you asked him. 

You both stagger to up the stairs and through the corridor until you reach your front door. You rummage around your bag for your keycard, it's contents click-clacking in the quiet of the hallway. Miguel watches, quieter than he was in the journey. If you looked up now, you would see something else behind his eyes - a storm of apprehension and tension. 

You find your keycard, and look up to find Miguel placing a careful palm on the door. He's surprisingly still, eyes on your lips as he steps closer. You look everywhere but to meet his eyes, tracing the curve of his collarbone, the slope of his exposed forearm, and the tempting juncture of his strong jaw. You watch it tense, as he brings a gentle hand to your chin. His thumb swipes over the fat of your lip. 

"Got somethin' right… there." He mumbles, before tucking his hand away. You can barely breathe. Without thinking you take his hand in yours, lacing your fingers together like a gentle hug. You bring his hand to your waist, and he squeezes, ever so gently. Your hand drops and he moves his slowly, knuckles dragging along the smooth silk of your blouse, and then sending shivers when he reaches your bare neck. 

He has to bite down the plethora of things running through his head - his drunken brain threatening to spill all his thoughts. You are so beautiful and soft it makes him short-circuit, desperate to pull you close. Instead, you do: hand inching up his chest and laying to rest on his shoulders. 

He kisses you, finally ; a little messy and impossibly soft. Like his lips on yours would shatter you both. You deepen the kiss and wrap his arm tighter around you, angling your chin to drink up even more of you. You both come up for air, panting in the heat of one another. Miguel's eyes are full of lust and blown out. 

"Do…do you want to come in?" You whisper. 

Something catches in his throat and his expression changes, like he just woke up from a dream. Do you just want to sleep with him? He's not built for one night stands, can't do just sex, especially if it's you. No matter how much he wants to, he can't, he won't, "....I shouldn't."

The disappointment on your face is palpable. You want to ask why - after he kissed you like that - why doesn't he want you? Instead you nod dejectedly. He gives you a chaste kiss on the forehead, lingering, and a shaky smile. 

You open your door with a buzz, and slam it in his face. 

~~~

It takes Miguel some time to properly put a name to what you two have: not knowing if the kiss was a drunken mistake, animal attraction or something more. 

He's not a grand gestures kind of person, he believes in action rather than words. 

Which is why it takes so long for him to admit just how in love with you he is. 

He steals glances at you all the time at the office, and tries to anticipate  all your needs. 

When you stretch and yawn in the morning, he happens to pass by your favourite coffee place and happens to buy one too many cups of your go-to order. 

So imagine his shock when he arrives from his lunch break, churros and coffee in hand, and there's one of the top brass from the night at the bar perched on your desk - 2 polystyrene cupfuls of something half drunk on the desk. 

He's never been insecure, but he can't help but feel possessive, something tense and tight growing at the base of his stomach. 

"What was it you wanted to talk about?" You step into the equipment cupboard, Miguel close behind you. You rub your temples, anticipating an argument. "O'Hara, if this is about my calibration tests this morning, I swear to God -" 

"No, no , nothing like that." He's quick to say. "They were… okay." He strains. 

You raise an eyebrow. Okay? Since when did Miguel pass up an opportunity for a mindless fight? Your mind races with his actions of the past few days. He has been different since the night at the bar, a little nicer, sure, but nothing this out of the ordinary. 

"That guy you were talking to. I saw him at the bar, and now here. Who is he?" 

Your eyebrows shoot up. "You do not have the right to ask me th-" 

"Are you fucking him?" A pause, and you study his expression, deducing that he is completely fucking serious . 

"Are you insane? You definitely don't have the right to ask me that." You make for the door, and he steps in front of it, blocking it with his body. 

"I need to know. Tell me and then I'll leave you alone, I promise." His voice is low and thick with something. 

You step closer and he wraps his hands around your waist absentmindedly. The pressure feels good, and makes your brain fog up. 

He repeats himself, softer. "Are you fucking him?" 

You look at him for a moment, before shaking your head. His facial expression  is steady, just as unreadable. 

"Do you want to?" 

You hesitate, wanting to be cruel and say yes, just to see his reaction. Perceptive, he sees your hesitance and says something that almost knocks you over. 

"I could fuck you better than he ever could," He kneads your thigh now, lips close to the shell of your ear in the tight space of the cupboard. " Princesa , look at me." 

You look at him, almost whimpering and putty in his hands. He's like a siren and you are lost in the pull of his gaze. It may be the proximity, but you swear you see a tinge of red in his eyes, like deep pools of lust. 

"Will you let me fuck you?" He pulls you closer so the meat of his thigh presses against your clothed cunt. Your stretchy pencil skirt rides up suggestively, and you rock your clit against him, searching for sweet pressure. You nod. 

Miguel titters softly, a hand on your chin pulling your lips to his. You moan into his kiss, body aching. It's hot and heavy like the kiss outside your door, but he swirls his tongue around yours and expertly nips at your lower lip. He guides your hips to rock against his thigh, tensing to make sure it's corded muscle hits the right places. He wants to break you apart, leave you so cock-drunk, you wouldn't think of even glancing at another man. 

You separate and he dips a hand under your skirt. He pulls it up and places a big palm at your pussy, with a well timed slap. You bite into his neck with the pressure. You definitely don't expect it when he rips open your stockings like they were paper. 

"Fuck, Miguel." 

"It's okay, baby, I'll get you new ones." Your eyes roll back as he slips aside the gusset to run a finger through your lower lips. Shamelessly, he slips a finger in, then two, basking in the wet squelch of your heat. You claw at his forearm, as he curls them into that sweet spot. 

You press your forehead to his shoulder, chasing his fingers with your hips. His sharp eyes watch every movement, every stutter and start that his fingers pull from you. He's practical, a man of action, and he is desperate to show you how much he cares. 

"I've thought about you… about this." He hisses as you cover your mouth to dampen your moans. 

"Wanted you for so long, princesa. Want to know how you taste, what this beautiful pussy feels like. What you look like when you cum."

His wrist aches with the back and forth motion but his pace barely faulters. 

" M-Miguel …"

He applies pressure to your clit, and watches in awe as you spasm, nails digging into his forearm. 

" Oh, there it is. Right there, hmm? Does that feel good?" 

You nod frantically with a stifled sob. 

"Not quite, baby. Need to hear you say it. Or I won't let you cum."

"...fuuck you."

" Oh, you'd like that. Still not what I want to hear. Tell me how much you like it when I fuck you with my fingers."

"F-Feels good." You stutter. He stops, wrenching his hand out of your pussy to leave you clenching around nothing.You almost scream.

"You're being a brat, not my princesa , hmm? Only good girls get to cum."

" Miguel , please. I'll do anything." He guides you along his thigh, still lodged between your legs, and licks up your wetness on his other hand. "You m-make me feel so good. So good. And I want you so much it hurts, sometimes. I just want to cum, don't even need your cock. Fuck me with something , please." 

"Miguel? Not asshole? Or fucking idiot, this time?" 

"Please, Miguel ." Your pleas go straight to his cock. He throbs with need, cock rock hard under his slacks. 

He relents, not able to bear your dopey puppy-dog eyes for much longer. He slips three fingers in, without bothering to prep you. He hisses at the tightness of your heat, pounding into you and knuckle deep with his fingers. Shamelessly, you fuck yourself back on them, hips rolling over his thigh. He can't tear himself away from the sight, palming himself through tented trousers. 

You kiss and nip at his neck, as he whispers obscenities at you under his breath. 

"Can you cum for me, princesa? Cum f'me, and I'll take care of you, I promise."

You clamp down on his fingers and moan into a kiss as you ride out your orgasm. It's intense: leg-shaking and leaves you shuddering in the aftermath. You were rusty, sure, hadn't had sex with someone in a while. But Miguel made you cum so hard you saw stars, with only his fingers. Your chest heaves with the thought. 

You thought he would leave you, torn stockings and all, in the little cupboard. But he stays, to sink down to his knees and lap at your folds. You rest a hand on a shelf for purchase, head back in bliss. You cunt is still sensitive, throbbing at the orgasm he's just given you, as you licks you clean. He's taking care of you. You card your hands into his hair, tugging gently as he moans into your pussy. 

He gives your clit a gentle kiss, and swipes up a trailing tear that rolls down your inner thigh. You watch as he pops his fingers into your mouth, cleaning off the cum. Your cum. 

Miguel gives you a lazy grin in the bare bulb of the equipment closet. He seems completely unfazed by the fact his fingers were in you not a moment ago. 

"Are you free after work?" He asks, and it takes a moment for you to process. 

"Uhhh… s-sure. Probably?" 

"Let me take you for dinner, somewhere nice."

All you can do is nod, dumbly, ripped stockings still around your ankles. 

"And then I can fuck you properly, princesa." 

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