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#tmnt doantello
all-that-tmnt-jazz · 6 months
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The Turtles as Things my Fiancée has Said
Alas, I did end up making one of these posts. Most of the things I have written down are chaotic/hectic so I don't think there will be many for Leo tbh.
Here we go.
[Censored Swearing]
Leo:
Is that a cop? No, it's just a Tesla.
What the flip, man?
I can't- I can't! I'm not doing that. I can't.
Raph:
I will literally punch a grandma in the teeth, I swear to god.
Betty White is strong as f*ck.
That man looks like the toothpick that came out of a crackhead's mouth.
I just shot the bartender.
Aaaaaand I don't really care. I really don't care.
Why the f*ck on the wall?
I got that sh*t too. Back to bed.
I can't tell if I dreamed that or not.
Though I concur, you're f*cked.
Donnie:
No Mikey, not f*cking coffee, you f*cking squirrel.
I'm probably gonna get, like, AIDS doing this... Why do it, you ask? It's for science.
I hear you in the trees, f*cker.
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake-
How does Donnie know what's going on? That is an excellent question.
Wait where are my glasses? Oh, I'm too tired for this sh*t.
You don't know anything about anything.
A bit scary, but.
It's okay- eh, f*ck it. Whatever. He said to stop there but whatever.
You see, at this point in evolution, Mother Nature gave up.
I don't need a mental health day, I just need mental health.
Mikey:
You are a Dinkelburg. Shut up.
Wait, are you taking me for a haircut? Why?
Well, good evening.
What do you have? Can I have one?
Hey, look! Hi!
Does God pray to himself or to Jesus?
Ask the Little Einsteins, they're Albert's kids.
Should I stop saying that? Probably, but I won't.
*Looking at a car accident* I think you got something on your car.
Can you no?
Distract him? How am I supposed to do that, be famous?
Try to cook me, I dare you.
13 is... That much too many.
*Looking at a different car accident* You can't park there.
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lotus-duckies · 4 months
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let's talk about the 87 turtles' shell patterns in the intro because girl what
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all-that-tmnt-jazz · 3 years
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I thought of this idea and was curious if you’d be able to do head cannons on it because your writing is amazing— how would the turtles react to having a human S/O that can turn into a mutant whenever they please?
Ooh I like this one!!
Warnings: Swearing.
Incarnation: Bayverse
Extra Info: The mutant the reader can turn into will be different for each turtle- don’t worry, I’ll explain each one.
Leo:
So, your mutation never really came up in conversation
However, it only came up because you had (accidentally) been dragged into a fight with the Foot Clan
You and Leo had been on a date when Donnie had reported Foot Clan activity not far from your apartment
He tried to convince you to lock yourself inside, but you figured it would be a good time to reveal yourself
So, you managed to be dragged into the fight a few blocks away, joined by Raph, Donnie, and Mikey
You watch the boys struggle. You want to help, but you also want to wait for the perfect time
So you wait until you’re being cornered by four Foot Clan soldiers, and the brothers are busy
Perfect.
One of the Foot Clan soldiers tries to throw a small knife at you…
And you caught it.
“Shouldn’t have done that.”
You throw the knife back and hit the soldier
Using the distraction, you turn
The next time the soldiers look at you, wings have sprouted from your back, your eyes have gotten much larger, talons had grown from your fingertips and through your shoes, and your legs had gotten longer to a scary extent.
You are a half-human half-owl mutant.
“It’s showtime.”
You jumped off of the ground and immediately grabbed two of the three soldiers that had tried to attack you
You flew up above the city, not afraid to press your talons into their skin
You unashamedly flung the two Foot Clan soldiers into the Hudson, then watched them struggle as the current pulled them
You went back to the alleyway where the turtles were, watching from far above as they were continuing to fight the Foot Clan soldiers.
It was like they didn’t notice.
You dove down into the alley and pulled up at the last second, grabbing Foot Clan soldiers as you went.
You dropped them into the Hudson as well
You went back to the turtles, who had retreated to the rooftops to converse about what jus happened.
You were able to grab Leo and brought him many, many blocks away, and he was fighting the entire time
You put him down and landed in front of him- it was weird being taller than him for once…
You turned back, and he gasped.
“Y/N… That was… You?”
You nodded.
“I figured I should tell you at some point but it never came up in conversation.”
He just looked at you, unsure of what to think
He pulled you to his plastron and held you, then pulled your chin up gently
“You’re fucking amazing.”
Raph:
Raph always noticed you looking at him
Especially since oftentimes, you would be looking sad
You knew you had to tell him at some point, but it hurt your heart too much
You had gotten cursed and your lifespan became elongated
Also known as semi-immortal
And Raph was not
You’re body has been 18 for years, but you’re actually nearing your 30s
That was why you had been so against getting into a relationship
You denied him every time he asked you, until the day he turned 19- just to be sure
That was three years ago, and you started seeing signs that he wanted to propose
And you were proven right, one night at dinner
It was just you and him at the Lair- he had talked his brothers into leaving him behind while going on patrol this night
Things were going well, yes, but you knew the reason why he wanted to be alone with you
“Y/N, I’ve loved you for years. I want to be your for the rest of my life, if you’ll let me be in the rest of yours.”
You started crying.
He smiled, thinking they were happy tears
“Raph, I… I don’t know.”
His face dropped, but he nodded
“It’s okay, Darling. You aren’t ready, and I shouldn’t-”
“I’m not mortal, Raph.”
There was a long silence between you two
You tried to stop crying
“I’m semi-immortal, Raph. I… I got cursed years ago. I stop aging and will die eventually, just later than you because my life span will be longer… Much longer… Maybe even by centuries, I don’t know…”
He just stared at you, confused, and almost hurt
The only noise was your crying
You didn’t know what to do
Raph kneeled on the ground in front of you, all possible hurt gone from his face
“Y/N, how old are you really?”
“Um… 29. I’ve been physically 18 for-”
“11 years?” Raph asked you, shocked.
You could only nod.
“That’s why you kept saying no- it felt wrong to you.”
You nodded again. 
He hugged you. You tensed, but soon relaxed into him when you realized he wouldn’t be letting go
“Is there anything you can control?”
“I… Just… Yeah.”
“May I ask what it is?”
You hiccupped- you had a bad feeling of where this was going.
“Age manipulation…”
“What?”
“Age manipulation. I can accelerate or reverse the age of organisms and non-living objects…”
You knew the lightbulb went off in his head the moment you said it
He let go of the hug, but remained holding your shoulders
“Raph, I know what your thinking, but no! It can backfire and you-”
“I don’t care-”
“You could forget memories, people, places. You could forget your brothers, even me!”
There’s another long silence
You see the light drain slowly from his eyes
You shrugged his hands from your shoulders and put your face in your hands
“I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have let it come this far…”
He hugged you again, pulling you off of your chair to put you in his lap
“You’re worth that risk, Y/N.”
“Raph, your brothers-”
“I can’t forget them- I have too many scars and too many memories to forget those assholes.”
You chuckled dryly. 
“I’m sorry for not telling you.”
“It’s okay. You were scared… I know it’s easy to be scared when you have such a big secret to hide.”
You nodded against his plastron and snuggled as close as you could
“I love you, Raph,” you tell him. “I really do.”
“I love you forever.”
You smiled- genuinely.
“Then, yes.”
“Yes?” he asked. “What do you mean?”
“To your proposal. I’m saying yes.”
He held you even tighter
Donnie:
Despite loving Donnie with your whole heart, it was hard to be around him while he was in his lab
He had so many thoughts running through his head, it was hard to keep track
So, you often spent your time in the kitchen, talking to you deceased mother
You possess telepathic powers, and you are also a necromancer
You can hear thoughts and speak to the dead after a freak accident you witnessed in your mother’s lab years ago
It was the accident that killed her, but you didn’t know that until your father told you to prepare for her funeral
That was five years before you met Donnie
You were 17 when you met him four years ago, and had been dating for three of them.
You had been able to control it when you were 17, but then when you met Donnie, you had to re-learn
You had never met someone who thinks so much, and so loudly
You can listen to the thoughts of his brothers, too, and you find Leo’s is the most entertaining
(You’ve never heard him physically swear, but his mind is like a sailor)
But Donnie’s is the one who overwhelms you.
“Y/N, you need to tell him,” you mother says to you. “I can tell he’s starting to feel bad- you keep leaving without explanation.”
“I know, Ma. I just-”
“Y/N, who are you talking to?”
You’re heart stopped for a moment. You slowly looked at the doorway, where Donnie loomed
He was totally confused
Thoughts ran through his head
Are they okay? Is something wrong? Maybe they’re just talking to themself. Yeah-
“You’re wrong.” you say to him.
“I didn’t say anything.”
“I know. I still heard what you were thinking.”
“I’m sorry- you heard what I was thinking?”
You glanced at your mother, who had moved to stand next to Donnie
She nodded before disappearing
“I possess telepathic powers, and I’m a necromancer. I was talking to my mom- about telling you, actually.”
Donnie looks at you, shocked
His thoughts were louder than ever and were moving faster than you had ever heard
You covered your ears and closed your eyes- like that would help
He noticed this, and realization
They way I think is like someone screaming in your ear as loud as possible?
He thinks, knowing you were listening
“Yeah. I… I’m sorry,” you whisper, not moving
He approached you, but you didn’t see.
That’s why you leave the lab so suddenly sometimes? It gets overwhelming?
You nod.
He gently removes your hands from your ears and you finally look up at him
He smiles at you, almost guilty
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault, Don. You can’t help it.”
He takes you into his arms and holds you close
“Thank you for telling me, Y/N. Is there anything I can do?”
Mikey:
Okay, your mutation isn’t too spectacular
But it’s a mutation nonetheless
You were a test subject of the first recreation of mutagen that Shredder ordered Sacks and Stockman to make
But the Shredder and Sacks soon realized you wanted to rebel
Besides, your body was having different effects than they had hoped
So, they released you
And you went to the police
But did they believe you? No.
But a few years later, you saw Shredder fall. You saw Sacks get arrested.
Oh, now the NYPD listens
And when the man who “saved New York” was revealed, you immediately could tell he didn’t
“The Falcon” was a fake- you were surprised that everyone believe his story
Then two more years go by, and Shredder escapes prison, and then a “threat from the sky” tried to attack
But it was stopped- supposedly by “The Falcon” again
But this time, you knew it couldn’t have been him
A week after the incident, you saw a police escort heading toward Lower Manhattan
So, you followed.
Well, hitched a ride on the back of one of the trucks- which was easy in your mutant form
You hid when they stopped, then followed the path the officers made to a boat
In your mutant form, they let you onto the boat without question
Then, you saw the things that actually saved the city, proving your point
They were four turtle-human mutants- like yourself, but different animals. Obviously.
As the boat started to leave the docks, you approached the turtles, only you knowing that you shared their status as mutants
The one wearing an orange bandana immediately started cooing at you, picking you up off of the ground
“What a cute kitty… Leo, can we keep it?” he asked the turtle with the blue bandana
“We don’t know where it’s been, Mikey,” Leo had said.
So the one holding me is Mikey…
Mikey holds you the entire boat ride- and you don’t like to mention that you loved the way he pet you
Yup. you are a house cat. Specifically, a calico Turkish Angora
So, you followed Mikey off of the boat, and he kept smiling down at you as he walked
You soon realized you were at the Statue of Liberty
You saw that most- if not the entire police force of New York was gathered, as well as the Falcon, a woman from Channel Six named April, and some Ragamuffin Hockey Player-Turned-Police Officer
Then you saw Chief Vincent standing at a podium as she started speaking about the turtles who stood next to her
She thanked them for their bravery and service to this city and gave them Keys to the City
After a while of talking, she approached them to have a small group conversation for a moment
Then, she let them into the Statue of Liberty, and let them go into the statue’s torch
You followed them, of course
After the turtle’s celebration amongst themselves, you made your presence known by rubbing against Mikey’s leg
He squatted and greeted you, petting you
You soon backed away, though, and walked to the other side of the torch
You knew he followed, so, before he caught up, you turned into your human form
When he saw you, he screamed
The others immediately rushed over, and were shocked
“Hi. I’m the cat you were petting earlier,” you said- rather casually
“How? You’re a- person!” Donatello said- you had heard Chief Vincent say his name
“Yeah, I’m a person who got screwed over by Sacks and Stockman. I got mutated just before he got arrested.”
There was a long silence.
“Prove it,” Raphael demanded.
You turned into your mutant form and sat. You licked your paw, then looked up at Raphael, who had gone pale
All of them had gone pale, really, except Mikey
“Woah- you’re kinda like us, then?” Mikey asked.
You turned back and agreed.
“Awesome, dude!”
That was nearly five years ago now. Now, you and Mikey are dating, and have been for three and a half years
You never knew you’d meet your best friends because of the mutation you had wanted so badly to hate
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