#tlou imagines

[heartpascal]

Pls tell me there's a part two for "if the door wasn't shut". I need Joel and Ellie to come back and reader avoiding them and not speaking to them and just walking away when they try to talk to her. Ofc happy ending but make them work for that forgiveness

i would let you in

▹ — joel miller x platonic!f!reader

▹ — summary: part two of if the door wasnt shut — after being abandoned in jackson, tommy and maria take care of you. joel and ellie’s return hurts far more than their departure.

▹ — a/n: i have no idea how the timeline is gonna work out in the show so ignore that!!! i went off on a bit of a tangent in this one… oops. anyways. let me know if you guys do want a part three!!!

▹ — warnings: angst!!!! AND MORE ANGST!!! oh yeah and a bit of angst too. father figure joel (except he’s failed that role for reader), arguments, throwing of objects, general hopeless feelings, sadness, not proofread, also you WILL like pottery and ceramics sorry!! almost father figure tommy….

▹ — tags: @faceache111 @viknowsbest @inkiqayo @wrcn9fvlcver @pedropascalsrealgf @httpjiikook @issybee0611 @liableperfections @dksjskx @canpillowscry @beeblisss @lizzylynch1 @randomstory56 @hiphopdancer101universe (once again just tagged everyone who asked for pt 2! pls let me know if you want the tag removed<;3)

masterlist | PART THREE

howl’s song associations!

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Everything in this world felt empty. It all felt so… weightless. Like you could pick something up, and it would have no meaning. Sometimes, you felt that way, too.

You couldn’t help it.

It was like everything you felt had drained from your very being, leaving your deflated and aching and empty.

But the emptiness sometimes masked as rage, and then you were throwing all of these meaningless things at meaningless walls, sick to death of hearing yourself yell about things that didn’t matter, that held no weight.

It didn’t matter what it was, it just gave you the shortest reprieve of feeling something, of feeling angry. It burned hot in your veins, and for a moment, you were full of fire. Until your oxygen ran out, and the fire spluttered before it died away, leaving you panting and exhausted and empty once more.

You knew it concerned Maria. Knew that she didn’t need this, the stress of having some kid that lacked the ability to even feel remorseful for breaking the plate that she had only just given you. She should’ve been focusing on the impending arrival of her actual kid, not feeling responsible for the one her brother-in-law had practically dumped on her doorstep.

But you didn’t ask for this either, did you?

Even when you had tried to leave, tried to get a horse out of its stall in the stable, tried to follow the only people you believed you could trust, you couldn’t.

You just about remember the way Tommy had pulled you back from where you had been frantic, trying to untie the horse in a frenzy as your chest heaved, the abandonment trying to deep into your bones. You had coughed and gasped, doing everything you could to try and get this feeling out of you, but nothing had worked.

Then, you had woken up on Tommy and Maria’s couch, the two of them beginning to doze off as the night crept up on them. It had been Maria who had jolted awake first, even when you just rustled the blanket they’d placed over you.

You didn’t want her pity then, had outright refused it. The two adults had tried to comfort you, but you had made it so difficult — because why should you make it easy? Your trust had been burnt up, your tether had reached its end, and you felt… hopeless.

There was nobody left for you in this world — and you wouldn’t let Maria or Tommy try to change that, even with their consistent attempts at being there for you.

They had relented to letting you remain in the house across the road, despite wanting you to remain in their home. They brought over meals every day, whether it be from the pub in town, or from their own kitchen.

Luckily for you, they hadn’t mentioned the cuts to your hand, the ones you had gotten from scraping up shards of ceramic off of the floor, after yet another one of your meltdowns. Sometimes, the only way you could actually feel that anger, was to let it out. And considering they hadn’t given you any of your weapons back, throwing plates and bowls and cups against all available surfaces had to suffice.

It had been weeks — you were sure of it. As much as you tried not to take count, the absence of the only people you had left made the days and nights pass slowly, so slowly that it was just a matter of how many days had you been throwing things? Or how many nights had remained restless?

It was on the twenty-sixth day that Maria had enough, seeing the remains of yet another plate in the garbage around the back of your house.

“Okay, if you’re gonna keep breaking these, you’re gonna have to start replacing them.” Maria told you, voice sterner than it had been in a long time. She’d tried the gentle approach, tried being soft, tried letting you heal in your own way, but it didn’t seem to be working. So strict Maria it would have to be. “Come with me.”

You followed her, with some reluctance, but you knew you didn’t have much of a choice. After all, as much as you hated to admit it, you relied on her. Without her, you were screwed.

So, you shrugged on your coat, and followed her as the snow crunched underneath your boots. She took turns so quickly, with so little hesitation, that you were almost surprised. You’d been in Jackson for a few weeks, and this didn’t feel familiar to you.

She tugged open a shop door, coughing away the dust that shot up at her, and felt the wall for a light switch, humming in victory when the store lit up.

You looked around, confused. You didn’t have money to buy new plates… and this place looked empty. You turned to Maria, watching as she wiped the dust off of a circular… machine?

“Well, it’s not the cleanest,” She acknowledged, “But there’s some supplies left out back, and the boys know where to get more clay.”

“Clay? What— Maria, what is this place?” You asked, running your finger against the dusty grooves of a wooden table, feeling bumps of dried something, and leaning forward to inspect the tools that had been abandoned on the table.

“Old ceramics shop,” She told you, opening the door to the back section of the shop and opening a window to let the air breathe. “Hasn’t been a big priority, really. Came in to get some plates when some of the houses had none, but nobody’s been all to bothered ‘bout fixing it up.”

“So, why am I here?” You raised your eyebrows, starting to get annoyed.

“Because, you’re gonna fix it up. If you’re gonna keep breaking all my damn plates, you’re gonna have to replace ‘em.” Maria replied, opening the windows at the front of the shop, and twisting the sign on the door from open, to closed.

“I… I don’t know shit about making plates.” You offered up quietly, fingers picking at your nails as you tried to get out of this. You did feel… almost guilty, about her plates, but at the same time, it was all you could do.

“Well, no better time to learn. Got some books around here, that’ll help, I’m sure. You can figure this out.” Maria said, your name falling softly from her lips, and you missed the other thing she was doing, which would be giving you something to do, giving you a purpose.

You huffed, feeling something nervous brewing in your stomach, but nodded at Maria before she left. You looked around the shop, eyebrows creasing as you realised you had a lot of work to do.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Tommy’s face was a sight, the first time he walked into the old ceramics shop.

When Maria had come to him, nearing tears in her excitement, telling him that you had finally done the ceramics shop some good, he hadn’t known exactly what to expect. He was well aware how much time you spent in that old place, and he had scolded you over it numerous times, saying the dust would do you no favours… or whatever.

The two of them knew that really, the ceramics shop had done you some good, but Tommy didn’t quite realise how much effort you had really put into it. Sure, it had been more than a few weeks now, but you were on your own in fixing it up.

So when you opened the door, something so close to a smile on your face, he was surprised. Shocked, even.

The surfaces were clean, for a start, which was nothing short of a miracle in his eyes. The furniture had been put back into place, not counting the pile of rotted wood that was outside, unsalvageable. Old ceramic work had been cleaned and put on display, alongside two names — the artists who made them, Tommy realised quickly.

And then there were the plates sat on the counter. New, slightly misshapen, and there was a box next to them, already filled with old newspaper.

“To replace the ones I broke.” You told him, when he looked at you, eyebrows furrowed. Tommy couldn’t help the smile that grew on him, something proud in his chest.

He hadn’t known you for nearly as long as Joel had, but god, he could recognise it in you immediately. The resemblance to his niece, just barely peeking out when you didn’t bury that part of you. He could see why Joel had gotten so… attached. Even if you didn’t resemble Sarah within your mannerisms in a way that was uncanny, you were a good kid.

Despite all the plate-throwing, name-calling, yelling and tears he’d seen from you, he knew you were good. He couldn’t blame you for your reactions, not with the way you had been left behind. And Tommy — he could understand why Joel did it, far more than you could, at least, but he recognised the pain in you.

Even if Joel did it as a result of his need to protect you, it didn’t come across like that in your eyes. From your view, he had taken the girl he knew for a couple months, and dumped you with his younger brother. He didn’t want you, didn’t care about you. It hurt. It hurt and it burnt your chest when you thought of it, and the only thing that made you feel a different kind of fire was creating your own destruction.

But this, this was different.

Tommy could see it in your face. This was such a drastic change from the girl who did everything she could to destroy what she got her hands on. This was a girl who finally got to create.

And sure, in a box in the corner of the room, there were the shattered remains of your failed attempts, but it hadn’t felt quite the same.

You thought of it this way; by throwing his and Maria’s dinnerware, you were destroying something that belonged to someone else. It was familiar to you. Trying to create the pain that caved your chest in, within another person. And yes, it was wrong, on so many levels, but you couldn’t help it. You just wanted somebody to understand.

When you had taken that first circular sculpture out of the kiln, and thrown it as hard as you could, it almost… hurt. These things were an extension of you. You had shaped these with your own hands, folded them into what you saw fit, so why should you destroy them? How could you? You made them this way.

So you had hidden the rest of the failed attempts, shoved into a cupboard in the back section of the shop, and had piled up your best attempts for Tommy and Maria to take home.

“You’ve been busy,” Tommy said, his eyebrows raised as he walked his way around the old shop, noticing you had even cleaned the two-decades worth of grime from the windows. “These are good, you been working on anythin’ else?”

“Tried a mug,” You offered, shrugging, “Didn’t really go so well. Neither did the bowl.”

“Work in progress,” Tommy replied, knocking your shoulder with his elbow. “Thanks, kid. You didn’t have to.”

“Actually, Maria’s instructions.” You said, but amusement was taking over your voice as you said the words. It was true — she had told you to replace what you had broken. But you hadn’t expected to enjoy it so much.

Tommy laughed, picking up the pile and placing it in the box you’d prepared, three layers of duct tape going either way across the bottom of it. “Well, it’s appreciated, anyway. You ‘round for dinner tonight?”

You shrugged again, making your way behind the counter to shuffle through some things in the back room absentmindedly, rolling your eyes when Tommy followed. You didn’t mind him or Maria hanging around as much as you used to, but you kept them at a distance.

“Come ‘round.” Tommy said then, instead, no longer posing it as a question. They’d tried to get you to move in, take up the spare room that would eventually go to their unborn child, but you’d strongly disagreed.

“You cooking? Or Maria?” You asked him, eyebrow raised as you turned to look at him, leaning back against the counter.

“Maria,” Tommy answered, rolling his eyes at your snicker of amusement. “She tries not to let me within ten feet of the damn oven.”

You couldn’t blame her. On the days that Tommy had brought food over to that big empty house opposite their own, it had been… an experience. Luckily for the two of you, Maria had agreed to go out on less patrols as the weeks passed by, sharing some of Tommy’s nervousness for what could happen.

“Not surprised.” You commented, a small grin on your face. You looked around the room, picking at your fingernails before you spoke up. “Hey, I was thinkin’—”

“That’s dangerous.”

You ignored him, only responding with yet another eye roll, “Get a bed in here, some drawers… could be a good spot for me.”

“Somethin’ wrong with Rancher Street?” He asked, concerned as he stood up straighter, looking around the room, not quite sure why you’d want to leave the house that provided you with plenty of space, warmth, and running water.

“No— No, there’s nothing wrong with it. Just… pretty big space for just one person, y’know?” You said, and gestured towards the door at the other side of the room, “This place has got a bathroom, anyway, so. And I mean, I always eat at yours or at the hall.”

Tommy frowned, contemplating.

Though they would’ve preferred you to have stayed in their home, Tommy and Maria relented when you had insisted on staying in that house. In the end, they had figured, what’s the harm? After all, once Joel and Ellie returned — which Tommy was sure would come, eventually, — they’d be living in that house, too.

That was the point. The house on Rancher Street was reserved for the three of you. Tommy had hoped, secretly, that you staying there, meant you wanted to fix things up, once the others returned.

You looked to him, when he was quiet for a moment too long, and he cleared his throat. “‘Spose it wouldn’t hurt. Bit of a trek from here, to ours, though.”

“Tommy, when I was…” You trailed, looking away, “I used to walk miles in a day. This short walk won’t hurt me.”

“You got a point,” He acknowledged, tipping his head forward, and ignoring your unfinished sentence. “But man, Maria’s not gonna be happy.” He thought of his wife, waddling her way over when she was near-ready to burst, and shook his head with a grin. “For you, I guess she’ll get on with it.”

“Shut up,” You said, amusement clear in your tone. “Now get outta here. I got some more fixin’ up to do.”

Tommy put his hands up in surrender, before slipping the box of plates into his hands, yelling out a, “See you later!” As he left.

You shook your head, rolling your eyes with a begrudgingly fond expression as you took another look around. There was a table that wouldn’t do you any good, too big, so that’d have to go. You wiped your hands against your tattered trousers, and sighed.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

The lights in Jackson were warm, and filled the streets you walked through as the night slowly took over the day. It was nice, being able to see in front of you as the sky darkened. You tried not to get used to it, but knew you were settling.

It was hard not to — especially after Maria had officially declared that the shop was yours, for whatever you wanted to do with it.

You tried not to think of Boston, usually, but the last time you had had something that was truly yours, was there. It was hard to forget the things you had stashed away, hidden underneath floorboards that were concealed by the only half-decent mattress that Tess and Joel could find.

Thinking of that life was painful, especially when realising that it was unreachable. You hadn’t known it, when you’d left Boston QZ, but you would never get to return to that home that you’d built. To those things you had owned. To the family that had grown its roots in that crappy old apartment.

It was something strange, really. To think that all you had, perhaps all you ever would have, belonged to this town. You were reliant on its walls keeping you safe. At least that much was similar to life in Boston.

People were happier here, though.

You probably couldn’t include yourself in that statement, but for the most part, it was true. The streets remained lit through the dark nights, and you could go out for a walk at any time of the day, with no consequences. Which was a bit of luck, considering that Tommy and Maria always ate late on in the day.

Turning on to their street, you frowned, because the lights in the house opposite Tommy and Maria’s — the one you had yet to move out of — were turned on. And you always turned them off before you left.

You hurried into Tommy and Maria’s, shutting the door tightly behind you and kicking your shoes off in the doorway. “Guys?” You called out, hanging your coat beside the doorway and making your way toward where you heard their responding shouts in the kitchen. “What’s going on?” You asked, upon entering the room.

The glance they shared did not go unnoticed by you.

You raised your eyebrows as they looked to you, seeming almost… nervous. “Did you already tell her?” You asked Tommy, and saw the way Maria’s face immediately flashed with confusion.

“Tell me what?” She asked, turning to Tommy whilst being conscious to continue stirring whatever it was that she was cooking.

“I didn’t—”

“Then who’s in the house?” You interrupted, feeling like your stomach was sinking. You’d thought it would be strange for them to immediately place new people in the house, given that you hadn’t quite packed up the few things you had left there, and the shop wasn’t quite ready. But what other explanation was there?

“Okay, let’s just press pause for a second.” Maria said, shaking her head and looking to her husband. “What haven’t you told me?”

“Well,” He began, scratching the back of his neck, and gesturing towards you, “The shop’s lookin’ real good. And she was hoping she could, y’know, get a bed in there, and stay there.”

“So you haven’t moved new people into the house?” You asked her, feeling your stomach swoop down further as you spoke, and your mouth was going dry. “Then, does that mean—”

Tommy held a placating hand toward you, and it just told you all you needed to know.

“When?” You asked, feeling like your fingertips were burning and your chest was going to explode with how tightly it had constricted. They hesitated, so you repeated, more forcefully, “When?”

“No more than a couple hours ago.” Maria said, putting her spoon down on the counter and stepping forward, frowning when you turned away from her. “The guys on the gate spotted ‘em. Pretty banged up, but they’ll be okay. Sent them in to get some rest.”

“And you didn’t come and tell me?” You demanded, though your voice was weak and you had to hold your hand against your chest to try and steady your breathing.

“Kid, we—”

“Don’t call me that!” You snapped, immediately. Tommy sighed through his nose, nodding his head in something close to defeat. “I don’t want to see either of them. I’m not going in there.”

“You don’t have to do anything right now,” Maria said, frowning at your expression. “You can stay here, tonight, and we can sort the shop out for you tomorrow, but…”

Tommy placed a hand against Maria’s shoulder as she trailed off, “We were thinkin’, maybe you guys could talk it out. It’s been a couple months, now.”

“What’s there to talk about?” You questioned, voice sharp and paining your throat as you spoke. “They left me behind. Think that says everything, doesn’t it?”

It was all over their faces, the fact that they wanted to say more, wanted to say something in some kind of defence of the other Miller man, but they knew you. The married couple were more than aware that anything they said would mean nothing to you. You were like Joel, in that way, Tommy had said before. Stubborn.

They nodded, almost in sync, and Maria turned back to the stove, to continue cooking as she had been before.

“Would you get my stuff for me? When you get the chance?” You asked Tommy, who nodded his head, a frown prominent on his face.

“I’ll go first thing.” He replied, secretly hoping that come morning, you’d magically want to make amends with his brother. He knew it wasn’t likely.

“Thank you.” You said, feeling like heat was crawling up your neck the longer you stood there. The fire in your stomach was fading away, just leaving you feeling uncomfortably warm as you stood in the room. “I’m gonna go get some fresh air.” You nodded to the back door, and headed out once they acknowledged your words.

You stepped out, feeling the muggy air cool your lungs. It was colder than you’d expected, especially considering the way heat seemed to cling to everything in these parts, and you had to grind your teeth to stop the shiver that went down your spine.

It was only when Maria called to tell you dinner was ready that you stepped back inside, rubbing your hands against your arms to try and rid your skin of goosebumps.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Tommy had moved you into the shop the very next day, constructing a makeshift bed frame from whatever wood the town could spare, and bringing a mattress from an out-of-use house. You could tell he had wanted to say something, but he held himself back.

Now, it had been almost two weeks since they had returned to Jackson. And you’d been doing a fantastic job of avoiding any sight of them.

It hadn’t been difficult, in the beginning, with them taking time to rest and recover from their journey — or so Maria had told you. But it got harder as the days went on. They were beginning to explore the town, to join in on jobs, to eat where you would usually eat. It was getting annoying.

For the past few months, you’d found it so hard to live without them, but now, you realised it was much harder to live with them around. Hell, you’d even had to avoid Tommy and Maria’s on occasion, because you’d catch yourself starving before being in a room with the two of them, willingly.

Tommy had mentioned that they’d asked about you, that they’d been wondering where you were, but you didn’t need to say much for him to realise that you didn’t want them privy to any information about you. After all, they’d lost that right when they’d abandoned you here, in a town full of strangers, with no concern of what it might do to you.

You were getting angry, the longer it went on, the suspense of when you’d finally catch glimpse of them was eating you up inside. It was like life before Jackson, that feeling of being constantly on edge, of checking behind your shoulder consistently as time passed by.

It was safe to say that you weren’t happy.

You’d tried to keep yourself busy in the shop, in the little safe space in Jackson that was tucked away, belonging only to you, but things seemed tense outside of Jackson, and with Tommy taking on more patrols, Maria had been left alone an awful lot.

Tommy had asked you not to tell her, and you had absolutely no plans to, but he had asked you to hang around with her a bit more.

Partly for her own good, and mostly for his peace of mind. A little part, which he refused to tell you, was that it was also for your own good. Taking your mind off of Joel and Ellie was the best he could do for you, and this was the only way he knew how.

So, you had spent more time than you could’ve imagined at their house. Ending up falling asleep on their couch more times than you could count, with Maria insisting on waiting for Tommy to get home from his late-night patrols. He often came home to the two of you soundly asleep against the couch cushions, and you often woke up in a different position to what you fell asleep in, a blanket covering you and keeping away the slight chill.

It was one of those mornings, and you were in desperate need for a shower and some fresh clothes. You wrote a note for the two of them, knowing it was far too early for them to be up, given the way the sun was only just rising, to let them know you were going back to the shop.

Your feet were dragging with every step you took, and shuffling your jacket around your shoulders took more effort than you had expected. It was definitely going to be a long day, especially since you had promised Maria that you’d help her cook dinner later, considering she was still very against letting Tommy near the stove.

The morning air woke you up the slightest bit, but the chill of the breeze had you rubbing your hands together, regretting not bringing gloves, though you knew that later on it’d be far too warm for them.

You heard your name, and froze where you stood, hands clutched together, one foot in front of the other.

It was like your heart stopped the second you heard it, like it was being squeezed so tightly it couldn’t beat. The sensation made your chest ache, and you grit your teeth to move past the pain that had become all too familiar.

You heard him stop, his footsteps pausing as he hesitated behind you. You stood still for a moment more, before stepping away as he made a move to continue. He said your name again, trying to call you to a stop once more, but you hurried your pace, checking behind you after you had turned the corner, lucky enough to find nothing there.

A sigh escaped you, relaxing your tense shoulders just a fraction as you made a quick journey back to the shop.

You tried not to notice the anxiety balled in your chest when you finally made it. The way it was twisting up, pulling tighter on your lungs and leaving you feeling breathless as you thought too long on the slightest of interactions.

Despite not seeing his face, hearing Joel’s voice made their presence all too real, and you felt… overwhelmed. Nervous. Scared, maybe.

It was too much.

Why did they have to come back? Especially when you knew they hadn’t come back for you, but for the comforts of Jackson.

This was the only place that resembled the world before, the only place where you could feel something close to safe, and you could be comfortable. This town was a place for family, and it was clear that you didn’t have that, anymore.

Joel and Ellie had returned, but they weren’t your family. They had left you behind, to find your own way, whilst they went on an adventure of their own, creating a network of roots to settle in something close to a family of their own. You wondered if Ellie reminded Joel of his daughter, but tried to put the thought to rest as quickly as it arose.

You stepped into the shower, and tried to let the water wash away all thoughts of Joel and Ellie and family.

Later, when you stood at Maria’s side, stirring a pot on the stove as she took a moment to rest, complaining of the way her child was making her back ache. She told you about how it made her feel incredibly old, but you could see the fact that she appreciated it, as something of a reminder of the fact she was still here.

You had hummed along with her tangent, paying attention to her words but not feeling up to speaking all too much. Of course, Maria had noticed. She certainly prided herself on her observation skills.

“What’s up?” She asked softly, a strange contrast the the harsh voice she had just been speaking with as she had criticised her body for the pain it felt. Her hand was placed against the bump that has grown significantly, and you knew she was feeling maternal once again.

“It’s nothing.” You told her, because it was, wasn’t it? Joel and Ellie didn’t care about you, so why would you care about them?

“Mhm,” She hummed, raising her brows at you, “Sure it is. Got nothing to do with the two living across the street?”

You shook your head, continuing to stir the food, and tried your best to let out the sigh in your chest as a normal breath. It didn’t work, and Maria rolled her eyes at your denial of something that was so obvious. You didn’t say anything else on the matter, and couldn’t help but feel relieved when she finally let it rest. The two of you finished cooking, with you doing most of the work, and her giving all of the instructions.

But hey, you were much better than Tommy was, despite your inexperience.

It was when the door was knocked whilst you and Maria sat in their living room that you felt that tightening of your chest once again. She glanced to you, taking in the way your limbs had immediately tensed, all of your muscles straining like you weren’t sure whether to bolt, or stay completely still.

She raised a hand, telling you to wait where you were, and made her way to the front door after much groaning in her attempts to get up from the sofa cushions. You refrained from telling her that you were surprised she could manage it on her own, considering the size of her baby bump.

“Hey, Maria.” A familiar voice spoke, and your hands clenched into fists against your thighs, “Tommy in?” Joel asked, remaining outside the house.

“No, uh— he’s on a late patrol, today.” Maria responded, her voice much lighter when she spoke to Joel than it had been when the three of you had first arrived to Jackson.

“Ah,” Joel sighed, and you could hear him taking a step back on the porch, disappointment lacing his tone. It was too familiar. “Mind if I pop by, later on?” He asked, far more hopeful than you had ever heard him.

“Uh…” Maria trailed, and you knew she was looking back in the hallway, unsure if you’d be staying overnight. The wooden floorboards of the porch creaked as Joel stepped forward again, and you heard Maria shushing him as you clenched your teeth together. “Not now, Joel. It’s not a good time. I’ll tell Tommy to stop by yours.”

He sighed, and it was like you were back in Boston, with how heavy he sounded.

It was the same way he would sigh when you got too excited over something, like he was disappointed. Back then, you had thought it had been because he couldn’t guarantee anything for you. Now, you had no idea. You had always believed you had known him and Tess almost too well, but over the past few months, you realised just how wrong you were. Back in Boston, if someone had told them what would happen when you arrived in Jackson, you would’ve laughed in their face. Would’ve been so certain that Joel would never leave your side. You had no idea how wrong you were.

You swallowed, your throat feeling tight, and your tongue feeling like it was too big for your mouth as you heard the door shut, and Maria rounded the corner with a tight smile on her face.

With your heart pounding, you looked at her where she stood, and stopped her just before she could sit down, blurting: “Can you cut my hair?”

Her surprise was evident, but Maria nodded her head, and you tried to breathe through the pain in your lungs as you followed her to the kitchen.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

It was week four, and Joel was getting antsy.

Every time he sat down, he found his fingers tapping an unknown rhythm against his trousers, his legs bouncing up and down as he nervously scanned the room, as though you’d appear from around the corner at any second. Of course, it never happened.

Each time he arrived back to the house on Rancher Street, Ellie’s head perked up, the most hopeful he’d seen her since before winter, and he had to shake his head. Had to watch her expression fall.

When he had seen you leaving Tommy and Maria’s, far too early in the morning for anyone to be awake, something had risen in his chest. He knew it was stupid, that he was a fool for thinking you might speak to him after what he did, but he had hoped so badly that you might just understand.

It was the closest he had been to you in weeks, and he hadn’t even managed to see your face up close, had only just about seen a glimpse of it when you had dragged yourself from Tommy’s porch. The moment he had gotten close enough to reach for you, you had bolted, leaving his hand halfway raised into the air as he stared after you, wondering if he should follow you, or let you go.

When he’d arrived at Tommy and Maria’s one evening, hoping to talk to Tommy about his anxieties, he’d found something else. They were shielding you.

And yes, he had asked them to protect you, had trusted them with something he had never even fully trusted himself with, but god. Joel had never expected that they would protect you from him.

But now, here he was, standing in front of an old shop that had likely seen better days, two decades ago. Ellie was by his side, her hand gripping the sleeve of his coat tightly, before she released it to knock loudly against the shop door.

He had half-expected for you to not answer.

Seeing your face, properly, for the first time in months was not the moment Joel had hoped for it to be. Not when your expression had immediately fallen from something of confusion to anger, to something defensive.

“Hi.” Joel breathed, feeling like he should really kick himself for the pathetic attempt at a greeting. Ellie was close to trembling at his side, trying to stay indifferent, but even from the corner of his eye he could see that hope rising in her expression.

“What do you want?” You snapped at them, wanting nothing more than to close the door in their faces, to slam it shut and lock it, to never open it again. But you refrained, something in your chest balling tighter, but you couldn’t help the desire that arose for something. An explanation, maybe. A good enough reason for you to forgive them, perhaps.

Joel jumped in before Ellie could, saying, “Plates!” He saw Ellie’s head whip towards him, a dumbfounded expression painted across her face. He watched you blink in surprise, and saw your expression go towards indifference as you huffed, and moved away from the door, allowing him to push it open a bit more, pulling Ellie in with him. She closed it behind her.

The silence lingers as you busy yourself with fortifying a box, feeling bitterness creeping up your throat. You thought about why they needed plates, and could not grind your teeth together, somewhat hoping that the scratches and dents in the kitchen counters couldn’t be fixed.

“Listen,” Your head snapped up to him, knowing what came next, and saw the way he backed down, the word kid dying on his lips. He cleared his throat as you went back to taping the cardboard box. “We were hopin’… that, uh, we could all have a talk. Clear things up.”

“I don’t know, Joel,” You began, the bitterness falling off of your tongue with every word, “You guys leaving seemed clear enough to me.”

He hated how much older you sounded.

“We left because we had to, not because we wanted to.” Joel defended, immediately, feeling the hope that had been flickering in his chest for the past four weeks sputter out.

“I remember trying to come with you,” You said offhandedly, keeping your eyes on the cardboard box as you put the final third piece of duct tape across the bottom. “You said: ‘me and Ellie. Not you.’ Remember?”

Ellie’s expression fell further, somehow, and Joel gaped for a moment, flashing back to the way your own face had fallen at his words.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” He said your name, almost like a plead, and frowned when you just turned to go towards the back side of the room, beside a closed door. You ignored it, collecting some of the better looking plates that had been stacked up there. “I didn’t want you to get hurt. I know you never asked for any of this.”

“You’re right, I didn’t. I wanted to stay with you. That’s what I wanted. No matter what might’ve happened, I just wanted to be with you two. You took that from me.” You said, voice harsher than Joel had ever heard it, even from when he and Tess had first taken you in. Remembering that version of you was painful, because he saw no resemblance within the you that stood before him.

Ellie spoke up then, her eyebrows furrowed inwards as she became something far too close to angry as she said your name, “You have no idea what we’ve been through—”

“You’re right.” You cut her off, placing the stack of plates in the cardboard box with a loud thud, “I don’t. And who’s fault is that?”

You looked between the two of them, as if you were expecting the answer, but Joel couldn’t bring himself to say it. You were so grown up, and he couldn’t understand it. It had only been a few months.

At their silence, you scoffed, and shoved the box towards them, watching as Joel instinctively shot his hand out to prevent it from falling off of the edge of the counter. He took the box, feeling like it was far too heavy for what it was, but perhaps that was just the conversation.

“I want you guys to go now.” You said, firm, despite the way your voice tried to shake. You wouldn’t let your voice tremor, not in front of them. Not when they didn’t deserve your devastation.

Joel’s face fell, a common theme in each of your recent interactions, and couldn’t help the way he felt sick to his stomach. All those months ago, you had been asking to leave with them, and now here you were, looking at him with eyes that he didn’t recognise, telling him to leave.

“Come on, Ellie.” He said reluctantly, turning away from where you stood, chin held high.

“No!” Ellie replied loudly, her lip trembling as she looked between you and Joel, like she was expecting something to magically repair the rift between you. Unfortunately, this world was real, and it was ugly, and you weren’t sure that fixing things was even possible. “We— We can’t just give up.” She said, pleadingly, looking to Joel to fix things, like she was so used to him doing.

But Joel knew that this was something he couldn’t fix so easily. “We’re not giving up.” He responded then, training his gaze on you, where your eyebrows had furrowed and you had turned your face away from them.

“You should.” You told him, your own trembling lip matching Ellie’s, before you turned away fully, making the short few steps and entering the back room, shutting the door tightly behind you.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

“You asshole!” You yelled, the moment you saw Tommy stood in the kitchen doorway of his home, with him having turned to face you at the sound of his front door slamming open. He looked confused, but you didn’t fall for that expression, even as he said your name in an even more confused tone.

You stormed over to him, pushing your hands against his chest and feeling him take a bracing step back, not stopping you. He held his hands up by his side, surrendering once again, and you couldn’t stop your eyes from stinging with tears.

“How could you fucking do that to me?” You asked almost desperately, pushing your palm against his shoulder again, and then you felt Maria step around him, place a hand toward you that you flinched back from.

“Do what?” Tommy questioned, dumbfounded, and holding a hand up toward Maria, who backed off at your blatant dismissal of comfort.

“Tell them about my shop!”

Tommy’s face became one of realisation, and Maria whacked a hand against his chest. He immediately looked guilty a moment after the realisation, and held his hands out towards you.

“I let it slip, I know, but I didn’t realise he’d noticed. I swear, I wouldn’t tell him that purposely. He came ‘round?” Tommy spoke, frowning when you took a step away from his hands as they reached for you. He couldn’t help but feel like Joel had unravelled all the trust he had built with you, and his frustration grew at the second realisation of the evening. You could only nod in response, your expression a mixture of anger and devastation. “I’m sorry, kiddo, I didn’t mean for that. Joel wants to fix things up, yeah, but—”

“Fix things? Tommy, how could he fix things?” You asked, your volume raising immediately as you cut him off. “Joel— He knew everything about me, and he chose to leave. He left me willingly! That isn’t… every time I see myself, I see those parts that he rejected. How do you fix that? Tell me how you fix that, and I’ll fucking do it, Tommy, but I can’t figure it out. How can you fix that? How can you forgive that?”

You were yelling, you knew you were, but you couldn’t stop yourself. Everything you had built in Jackson was shattering like those stupid plates in that stupid kitchen. Tears were falling down your face, and Tommy blurred away as your eyes continued to fill with them. It felt never ending, this whole situation did. How did you fix this? Could you?

“I don’t know.” Tommy admitted, feeling like his heart could tear from his chest as he looked at you, your breaths shaking as you tried to get through sobs, your face covered in tears, chest heaving. “But we’re going to figure this out. We’ve got you.”

He moved towards you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders when he realised you’d let him. He felt your arms tremble as they wrapped around him, and he stared past your head as he took notice of Joel frowning in the still-open doorway. They shared a look, and Tommy gave Joel an all too familiar expression, one that he used to give when Sarah would be upset. Too upset for anybody else but Joel to be present.

It felt strange, to Joel, not only to be on the receiving end of the look, but because it was concerning you. But what was he meant to do? How could he fix it?

Joel frowned, nodding at his younger brother, and closed their front door as he turned away, breathing out a sigh that felt far too heavy. He needed to figure this out.

“Come on,” Tommy said, after a few moments, when he was certain you hadn’t noticed Joel closing the door. He led you over to the sofa where Maria was waiting, and when you collapsed next to her, they held you between them until you fell asleep, face still wet from tears. “It’ll be okay.” He spoke, quietly, despite knowing you were asleep. He was half saying it to himself and Maria, too. They needed the reassurance just as much as you did.

Tommy decided then, that when you woke up in the morning, he would do his best to help you figure everything out. And as he shared a look with Maria, he knew that she’d be there, helping right at his side.

PART THREE

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller angst #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #joel miller father figure #tommy miller x reader #tommy miller x you #tommy miller angst #tommy miller father figure #tlou imagines #tlou one shot #tlou imagine #tlou angst #pedro pascal angst #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal one shot #heartpascal writes

[cassyxox]

𝒞𝒽ℯ𝓇𝓇𝓎.

𝗲𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗲 𝘅 𝗳𝗲𝗺 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝖻𝖾𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝘢 𝗇𝖾𝖾𝖽𝗒 𝘮𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖼𝗋𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝖺𝗍𝗍𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗂𝗈𝗇. 𝘴𝘩𝘦'𝘭𝘭 𝘥𝘰 𝘢𝘯𝘺𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 ..𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘱𝘶𝘣𝘭𝘪𝘤．

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: 𝘣𝘳𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘬𝘪𝘯𝘬！, 𝘯𝘦𝘦𝘥𝘺 𝘳！,

(𝘳！𝘳𝘦𝘤𝘦𝘪𝘷𝘪𝘯𝘨/𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨), 𝘤𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨, 𝟭𝟴+𝗺𝗱𝗻𝗶.

u could say u were in a very glum mood. getting all dressed up for your girlfriend to not even notice—or compliment you.

but instead here she was stuffing her face with her third—no fourth chocolate muffin..you had made them for her..well for you both.

You glanced over at her. watching the way the crumbs fell from her mouth. so messy. and she wouldn’t stop groaning.

𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗺𝘆 𝗺𝘂𝗳𝗳𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱?…

just as she was reading ur mind. mumbling out a small “god..” before finishing off the rest of the tasty batter.

“babe I swear..you always make the best deserts f’me—never fuckin’ miss.” she gritted. licking the chocolate off her lips. 𝗼𝗵.

offering her a small smile u nodded—“mhm..”

you couldn’t help but stare at the way her tongue flattened against her lips.

𝗴𝗼𝗱 𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝘀𝗵 𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗴𝘂𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿—

“babe?..” her voice pulling u out of the nasty daydream.

“yeah el?—sorry.” u spoke. hoping she didn’t sense the way u were shifting around on the small cloth.

she gazed a look down at ur wrists..watching as they hugged the cloth so tight. she could see the grass peeking through.

she brought her hand to ur thigh. slowly rubbing up and down. “what’s wrong babe?..”

u sighed lowly. not meeting her eyes.

“uhh—nothin’..”

𝘀𝗵𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻𝘁 𝗯𝘂𝘆𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘁.

“(y/n)..” she squeezed ur thigh ever so gently.

“nothing el—it’s 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙜..” u frowned.

how were u supposed to explain she was getting u all needy and tense just by eating a muffin.

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙤 𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙮.

“yea ok.” she huffed. letting go of ur thigh. reaching for the picnic basket.

“fine you don’t wanna tell me cool—I’ll just eat another muffin.”

u tensed. watching as she grabbed her fifth one?! 𝙟𝙚𝙨𝙪𝙨.

“I hate you..” u quietly muttered—well u thought u did.

next thing u know u heard a plate rumble and 𝙮𝙤𝙪𝙧 𝙢𝙪𝙛𝙛𝙞𝙣 fumble onto the ground. a very angry ellie moving her way into ur space—𝙤𝙝.

“what’d u say?” her voice was low. 𝙖𝙡𝙢𝙤𝙨𝙩 𝙨𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙮. her eyes a dark fade. glaring into ur closed ones.

“huh?—open ur eyes and look at me” your eyes widened. only because her voice sounded so stern?—no.

“see?..wasn’t so hard was it?” u gulped. shaking ur head. ur panties felt too tight..𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙝𝙚𝙧.

her ragged hands reached ur face gripping ur cheeks tightly.

“now u wanna tell me why ur acting like a baby—hm?..”

“I’m not..” u mutter. playing with the bracelet on ur wrist.

𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙚’𝙨 𝙞𝙣𝙞𝙩𝙞𝙖𝙡 𝙘𝙖𝙧𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙤 𝙞𝙩 𝙤𝙛𝙘.

“not what?” 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙨𝙤 𝙗𝙖𝙙𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙚𝙡𝙡 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜.

“not being a baby..your one to talk tho—you’ve been teasing me since we got here ellie.” u admitted.

u watched as a little smirk came upon her face.

pushing her hands away. “it’s not funny at all..”

𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨𝙣𝙩 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙛𝙪𝙣 𝙤𝙛 𝙮𝙤𝙪. 𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙪 𝙩𝙤𝙤 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙖𝙧 𝙤𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙩𝙤 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙠. 𝙎𝙝𝙚 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖 𝙗𝙤𝙬𝙡 𝙤𝙛 𝙘𝙝𝙚𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙤𝙥𝙚𝙣 𝙞𝙣 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙡𝙖𝙥. 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙡𝙚𝙬𝙙 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙣𝙙𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙨𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙪 𝙩𝙪𝙧𝙣 𝙩𝙤 𝙬𝙖𝙩𝙘𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙣𝙙𝙤𝙬. 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙛𝙞𝙧𝙨𝙩 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚.

she was in mere thought before she spoke. a small shrug appearing.

“not my fault u can’t control yourself around me when i eat.” u froze.

𝙚𝙭𝙘𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙚? 𝙞 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙝𝙚'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩 𝙬𝙧𝙤𝙣𝙜 𝙗𝙪𝙩..

“ellie it’s literally all ur fault…my panties are so wet just from watching you eat a—fuckin’ muffin..”

she tried to hold in her laughter from ur weird confession. attempting to get ahold of herself. 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙞𝙩 𝙨𝙤 𝙛𝙪𝙣𝙣𝙮?

“..you done?” u paused waiting on her response. she glanced at you again. not even two seconds later a startled laughter filled the air.

“ugh—el s’not that funny!…seriously” u whined. pushing her back onto the soft cloth. she had grabbed ur arms pulling u with her.

letting out a small “𝙢𝙥𝙝..” landing right on her chest.—𝙤𝙝.

pushing urself up. u were met with a cheesy faced ellie. her hands came up to grip the back of ur leg under ur shorts.

“well isn’t this a sight..” she squeezed the fat. 𝙨𝙤 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙩𝙤 𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙤𝙩𝙩𝙤𝙢. “—mhm..” u softly groan.

𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙙 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚.

Ellie was just teasing u even more. she didn’t move an inch. except for her 𝙨𝙣𝙚𝙖𝙠𝙮 hand. reaching up under ur shorts to feel the outline of ur cunt—through ur 𝙥𝙖𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙚𝙨.

“ellie..” u whined. gaining her attention. “hm?” her fingers now rested on ur behind.

“want more please” u pleaded with her. the way she wasn’t even touching on ur cunt anymore. but she still had u 𝙛𝙡𝙪𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙚𝙙 was insane.

𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙠𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩.

“yea?..my baby wants s’more?” she spoke. ghosting her fingers 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 over ur outlined cunt.

u nodded letting out a small—“𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚𝙥𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚.“

she leaned up. ur weight being pushed into her lower lap. “lay back for me—and take ur panties off.”

u swiftly turned over getting ready to pull ur shorts down—“ellie what if somebody see’s us?” she smirked. pulling ur shorts the rest of the way down ur ankles. “let them.”

𝙞 𝙢𝙚𝙖𝙣 𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙘𝙖𝙡 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙠.

she had u on ur 𝙗𝙖𝙘𝙠 now. thighs parted as her fingers were abusing ur cunt so good. u had 𝙘𝙪𝙢 2 times already..𝙜𝙤𝙨𝙝.

pulling her fingers out she had took notice of ur wet slickness glistening with a little 𝙬𝙝𝙞𝙩𝙚— glow. “such a pretty sight—your so pretty.” she rubbed at ur folds wetting them up even more. “god just…look at it—it’s so greedy for me..look.” she gripped ur neck with her unattended hand. pulling u up to make u watch as she rubbed her fingers through ur folds. letting out a low chuckle as her fingers accidentally slipped back inside u from how wet you were. “so wet I love it..”

u were a moaning mess. and a nervous wreck. 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙬𝙚𝙧𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙖 𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙠 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙜𝙤𝙙 𝙨𝙖𝙠𝙚! anybody could walk by seeing the image of Ellie’s hand 𝙙𝙞𝙨𝙖𝙥𝙥𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 between ur upper thighs. 𝙬𝙤𝙣𝙙𝙚𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙨 𝙙𝙤𝙞𝙣𝙜.

“wish I had my strap on me..𝙝𝙢 ur so lucky.” she growled. “I need to actually tear this perfect cunt apart” u whimpered from her words. gripping her wrist. “el—please put them back in me..”

𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙨𝙖𝙮 𝙣𝙤 𝙩𝙤 𝙪𝙧 𝙤𝙗𝙫𝙞𝙤𝙪𝙨 𝙣𝙚𝙚𝙙 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙙𝙞𝙧𝙚 𝙨𝙞𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙩𝙞𝙤𝙣. 𝙪 𝙟𝙪𝙨𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠𝙚𝙙 𝙨𝙤 𝙘𝙪𝙩𝙚 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙘𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙚 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙬𝙚𝙚𝙣 𝙪𝙧 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙨..𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙩𝙡𝙚 𝙛𝙧𝙤𝙬𝙣 𝙤𝙣 𝙪𝙧 𝙛𝙖𝙘𝙚.

“keep ur eyes on me—wanna see when I..” she paused with a falter. as she buried her middle and ring finger back inside you.

“oh my—el!” u were humping into her hand. the pace of her fingers adding to ur despair.

“yea?..feels s’good?” she hummed. ur warm walls making a mess around her. 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙧𝙙 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚.

“god—𝙢𝙥𝙝 ‘think i can feel ur little cunt breaking my fingers..”

𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙪 𝙨𝙦𝙪𝙚𝙚𝙯𝙚𝙙 𝙝𝙚𝙧. 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙘𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙙 𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙪𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙞𝙩 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙝𝙚𝙧 𝙝𝙖𝙣𝙙𝙨.

“she’s so greedy” u heard her chuckle. “wish I could put a baby in you—I swear to god.” a low whine left ur lips. 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙚𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙚 𝙥𝙪𝙩𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙖 𝙗𝙖𝙗𝙮 𝙞𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙙𝙚 𝙮𝙤𝙪..𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙪 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙧.

“els—𝙖𝙝𝙝𝙝” she pushed her hand down on ur stomach. “yea..would be right here.” she mentioned with a slight push of ur belly. the feeling made u clench roughly around her.

“please..𝙢𝙢..-wanna have ur baby s’bad..” crying out. u squeezed ur thighs around ellie’s wrist.

u were so into the feeling not even noticing ellie humping the fuckin’ ground. her jeans getting covered in the moss from the dark grass. her boxers were damp. so wet with her slick.

“yea gonna get you pregnant babe..”

“wanna 𝙘𝙪𝙢 inside you so bad..” she kept muttering lowly. voicing her desperation to 𝙗𝙧𝙚𝙚𝙙 you.

she was close. u were close.

“ellie it’s coming again—𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠—𝙣𝙜𝙝..”

𝙨𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙖 𝙞𝙙𝙚𝙖.

she reached over into the basket full of snacks. pulling out the box of cherries from earlier.

“don’t let go yet..” she warned. pulling her fingers out. a yearning ache filled you.

“ellie what are you—“ “-open ur mouth.”

you were confused. why does she have a cherry in her hand? 𝙗𝙪𝙩 𝙪 𝙡𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙚𝙙, opening ur mouth.

“chew it you better not swallow it.”

“but els..” she narrowed her brows. causing u to silence urself. “good girl.” she put the cherry inside ur mouth. her fingers rested on ur tongue for a couple seconds. u bit down on the tasty fruit. the juice swallowed down by your throat.

u let out a soft hum at the taste.

“yummy right?” u looked up at ellie. her gaze connected to ur lips. watching the way they moved as u chewed on the sweet cherry.

you nodded. Ellie’s hands spread ur legs open once more. being met with ur inner thighs covered in slick..you looked away. dripping in arousal.

“so sweet baby..I bet it tastes better than you..” she muttered bringing her thumb to rub at ur cunt softly. watching as she leaned into you.

“I wanna kiss.” she gripped the back of ur neck. squeezing rather roughly. her other hand sliding her way down 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣. u gasped. giving ellie a view of the half bitten cherry. “thought u swallowed it—𝙝𝙖𝙖..” u shook ur head. “wanna be a good girl..”

“yea?” “mhm.”

in mere seconds her lips were on ur’s. it felt like heaven. the taste of ellie and the cherry inside ur mouth made ur eyes roll back. and the way ellie’s fingers were 𝙣𝙤𝙬 —digging in ur cunt.

𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣 𝙖𝙜𝙖𝙞𝙣.

u relished in the kiss. not wanting ellie to pull away but she did. “fuck—𝙪𝙝𝙝𝙝..that is sweet..might be sweeter than you.” she bit out. licking at her lower lip.

u shook ur head. the chewy fruit still nessled behind ur lips.

“oh?..you don’t think so?—“ “-I’m sweeter..” u mumbled. desperately trying to catch the rhythm of ellie’s fingers but she was going so 𝙨𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙧𝙤𝙪𝙜𝙝. 𝙩𝙚𝙖𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙢𝙤𝙧𝙚.

“hm—well maybe we should put it to the test..bend over for me.”

#cassy’s nav #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams smut #the last of us #tlou imagines #ellie tlou #ellie x you #tlou2 #ellie williams imagine #ellie smut #ellie the last of us #ellie x dina #tlou fanfiction #tlou x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams drabble #tlou part 2 #the last of us part 2 #ellie williams x yn #ellie x yn #tlou fic #ellie x fem reader #lesbian

[cammys-imagines24]

°•NSFW Abby Headcanons•°

Abby likes when you yank on her braid. Either to pull her down to your height for a kiss or when she's eating you out, how you tug on her hair as if it were a horses reins, guiding her to exactly where you need her.

Size kink. This woman gets off on the fact that she's so much bigger than you. How, if she wanted to have her way with you, there's absolutely nothing you could do to fight her off.

Her whole body was practically made to dominate you and make you suffer (in a good way.) From her big, calloused hands, to her meaty thighs, her thick, buff arms and substantial height.

Just the thought of her being able to easily maneuver your body and use you in anyway she pleases gets her so, so wet.

How she could deny you your own pleasure and you couldn't fight her off... but, she's much too giving to deny you for too long. Unless you're being a brat of course.

Not into choking per say, however... Abby's hands just look so nice around your pretty, little neck. She'll place her palm around your throat to guide you to where she wants and so your eyes stay on hers, but never will she squeeze. She doesn't want to accidentally hurt you.

Loves to stretch you out with her thick fingers. The sight of her fingers disappearing in your tight hole does something feral to her and with every digit she adds, she can't help but growl.

Heavily into marking and by that I mean, you marking her. There's just something about how when she's pounding into you with her strap, the way you claw into her back...

Your nails dragging angry, red lines down her shoulder muscles and the curve of her spine to find purchase as you scream her name.

She'll admire those scratches in the mirror the morning after endlessly. Smirking at the memories of you two that flash in her mind.

Obsessed with how soft you are compared to her. Your breasts and ass, the malleable flesh she can grab on your tummy and your squeezable hips. There are times where she will be walking by you and just have to slap your ass just to see it jiggle nicely for her.

Sit on her face. It's one of Abby's favorite things and don't pull that hovering bullshit.

She will force you down onto her mouth and nose with her herculean arms and keep you there even if you protest.

Her nose bumping against your clit, her tongue expertly moving in between your folds, her hands leaving imprints upon your thighs from how hard she's forcing you to stay still on top of her.

The type to say the most sugar sweet praises while she's absolutely pounding you into the mattress.

"I love you, you know that? You're so good, so good for me, hon. Taking me so well."

Your cheek pressed against the sheets, her big arms caging around you, thick fingers kneading bruises into your hips. A handprint on your ass.

"Love you, baby. You're the best. All pretty for me, huh? So beautiful when I'm fucking you."

If she could get you pregnant, she would 100%. There's just something primal that clicks in her head when she's using her strap on you. She wishes it were a real cock and she could really fill you up.

Abby's thought about you two having kids more than she'd like to admit.

The type to have the softest aftercare ever, all traces or her dominance stripped bare.

Abby may have used you until you thought you'd pass out, never relenting despite how much you begged for a break, given you so many orgasms you thought you couldn't breathe and you saw stars in your tired, teary eyes...

But, as quick as the snap of a finger, she turns into sweet, caring Abby once more.

She'll wash you clean, smirking at how you whimper from being still so sensitive and run the calloused pads of her fingers along the bruises she left from manhandling you.

You won't be leaving her arms anytime soon. She'll engulf you in her warmth, kissing the love bites she left on your neck and whispering how much she loves you.

"My pretty girl, always so perfect. Rest up, yeah?"

She'll say in a low rasp, lips against your skin and your body encompassed by hers.

#the last of us #tlou #abby anderson #tlou abby x reader #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x reader smut #abby anderson headcanons #abby anderson headcanon #abby anderson imagines #abby anderson imagine #tlou x reader #tlou headcanons #tlou imagines #tlou fanfic

[luvsellie]

MASC ON [e. williams]

pairing high school au!ellie x fem!reader

summary being the new girl in school meant walking in to projects smack-dab in the middle of the year. but when you get assigned to work with the masc girl who sits next to you, there’s no hiding your blatant attraction toward her…and maybe she can’t hide her’s either.

warnings ellie and reader are 18 here (seniors in high school) !! kissing, pining (this is literally just fluff and i wanted an excuse to write for flashback el)

wc 3.9k

note this is incredibly self-indulgent and took me an embarrassing long amount of time to actually write i apologize (title inspiration from the song mask off by future)

“this is so stupid.”

ellie’s complaint compelled you to roll your eyes, a redundant sigh escaping you. “i heard you the last three times you said it.”

your deskmate slumped against the side of her bed, nimble fingers fidgeting with a slightly chewed pen as she watched you create a rough outline of the halle comet on a large poster board—she thought it was more entertaining than trying to gather the essential information your teacher had required to be provided. you could feel her eyes observing every flick and stroke of your pencil as you struggled to copy the image from your laptop.

the task had deemed itself to be more complicated than you thought, and after one more final attempt, you tossed the writing utensil to the side in frustration. “this is so stupid.”

snorting at your disgruntled attitude, ellie reached for the pencil. “how about this; i’ll draw and you get the stats. i’m dying of boredom over here.” she shuffled closer before you could object, shoving her textbook your way.

not bothering to argue, you grabbed your backpack and started to sift through the supplies you had brought along to her house. markers, pens, pencils, scissors, binder…

removing your binder from your bag you flipped it open, only to be met with other assignments and notes from varying classes. groaning, you said over a shoulder, “ellie do you have notebook paper?”

“yeah—top drawer of my desk,” she answered without looking in your direction, her short hair falling to cover the side of her face.

nodding to yourself, you shoved your things back in your bag and stood, making your way toward her desk. it was rather cluttered, which didn’t shock you in the least, but still organized in probably a way only ellie would understand.

you grabbed the first drawer’s handle and gently pulled, exposing the mess that was inside. grumbling to yourself about how ellie couldn’t possibly be able to find anything in this chaos, you began to poke through her things. managing to spot a spare journal—which you noted was not looseleaf paper like you had asked—you carefully maneuvered the notebook out from underneath all of her art supplies.

hip-thrusting the drawer shut, you flipped the journal open, eager to get on with the research you did not want to do, simply to get this project over with. but as you overturned lined pages, you came to realize this was a sketchbook—and you were the starring subject.

“ellie,” you called, eyes trained on a drawing of you slumped over a book in the school library (you recalled this day rather vividly).

the auburn-haired girl finally looked up from her spot on the carpeted floor. she quickly realized what was in your hands. “shit,” she couldn’t help but mutter in panic. ellie rushed to her feet, already reaching to take the sketchbook from you. “sorry, you weren’t supposed to-”

you said her name again, interrupting her explanation with “you would’ve saved me a lot of time had you been the one to draw that ridiculous comet from the get-go.”

ellie’s arm fell to her side, and she tried to calm her racing heart with a deep inhale. she scratched the back of her neck sheepishly, invisible strings tugging on the corners of her mouth when she realized you weren’t pissed at her. “yeah, i guess you’re right.” she paused before adding, “you’re a really shitty artist.”

your eyes flickered to hers immediately, and you snapped the journal shut before smacking her left upper arm with it. “hey! i tried my best, okay? we can’t all be as talented as you.”

“got that right,” ellie mused, her familiar easygoingness making a return. she stuck a hand out. “can i please have my sketchbook back?”

you kissed the back of your teeth, giving her a look of contemplation as you hugged the object in your hand a little closer to your chest. “mm, i don’t know. i was thinking about going through it some more. i mean, i barely got to see anything.”

ellie’s eyebrows shot up. “seriously?”

“seriously,” you told her with a nod, taking a step closer to the desk behind you.

her hand dropped, and you swore that something flashed across her face, but before you could identify what it had disappeared. maybe i’m pushing it, you thought suddenly, growing aware of the way you were holding onto something that she probably poured her heart and soul into.

across from you, ellie adjusted her stance before shrugging. “alright. have fun, i guess. i just need it back tomorrow by 6th period.”

you blinked at her words, dumbfounded by her compliance. watching her return to the poster board on the floor, you held the little journal closer, already making note of what you would be doing later when you returned home.

ellie liked to draw you. she supposed it was rather obvious, but seeing the way your eyes widened as you observed her drawings made her second guess. had she really not been that apparent? she guessed not. and while she was excited to let you take her sketchbook home, she was more nervous.

it was very hard to sleep that night, and only when the small illuminated numbers on her alarm clock struck two a.m. did she finally manage to doze off.

“you look a little…rough,” dina said, cringing at her own word choice.

ellie ran a hand through her hair as she walked beside the shorter girl. “thanks. i hadn’t noticed.”

dina ignored the jab. “i can’t believe you actually gave it to her. hell, you never even let me touch that thing…and you’ve only known her for, like, two weeks! i am feeling a little betrayed, but it’s whatever.”

“letting her look at it just…felt right? i don’t know how to explain it. she doesn’t seem like someone who’d become suddenly disgusted by me drawing her way before we ever started talking,” ellie confessed, spotting the door to her earth and space class.

“ouch.” dina grabbed ellie’s arm, pulling her to an empty wall. “first of all, i wouldn’t be disgusted by you if i was her. secondly, stop being nervous. there’s no need for all of that.”

“i’m not nervous,” she objected immediately.

the brown-eyed girl stared blankly at her. “yes, you are. you’re more fidgety than normal. just go in there, sit down, and wait for her to walk in. you said she normally gets to class practically right before the bell rings?”

“yeah, she comes from the other side of the building.”

“perfect! now go.” dina shoved her friend in the direction of the classroom, waving her off with a smile.

sighing through her nose, ellie entered the room, greeted her teacher, and visibly sagged when she noticed you weren’t in your seat yet. there’s still some time, she thought to herself, not realizing that you had walked in behind her until you said: 

“hey, el, you’re kinda in the way.”

you watched as ellie turned to face you, her eyes wide as she whirled. “you got here fast,” she stated bluntly.

shrugging, you moved past her to walk toward your desk. as you sat you said, “class was in the library today since they were using our room for testing.”

ellie nodded from in front of you, still standing. you noticed how aloof she was acting. “are you gonna sit?” you asked, gesturing to the desk beside you.

“yes,” she said hastily, pulling back her chair. she landed with a thud. slouching against the back of her seat, she looked at you and continued, “you brought the poster in, right? this morning?”

your mouth pressed into a thin line. “yes, ellie, i brought the poster in. but we’re not presenting today anyway, so had i forgotten, we’d still be okay.”

“god, that is such a relief,” she sighed, leaning her head back to stare at the speckled tile ceiling and roll her tense shoulders.

“agreed,” you breathed while hauling your bag into your lap. unzipping it, you pulled out the familiar brown journal. “here. back to you before 6th period. just like you said.”

ellie took her notebook cautiously, setting it on her desk as she glanced at you.

“why’re you looking at me like that?” you asked skeptically, lowering your voice to a whisper as your teacher started class at the front of the room. “if you didn’t want me to take it then why did you give it to me in the first place?”

the girl beside you shook her head, leaning her body closer. you stared at the outline of her tattoo as she said, “i wanted you to take it. i’m just nervous that you look at me differently now.” 

your eyebrows shot upward, both taken back and confused by her answer. “why would i even-” you turned to face her. “ellie, i don’t look at you ‘differently’ because you draw me. i think it’s rather sweet, actually.”

ellie was bewildered by your words, recalling what dina had said earlier about how she would have loved it if she were drawing her. maybe she had been right. licking her chapped lips, she shifted in her seat, as if she were going to say something, but snapped her head to the front when the teacher said her name sternly.

“miss williams i need you to pay attention, please. this has to do with the project, and i will not be happy when you decide to ask me something i already explained to the class,” the man up front lectured, making both you and ellie sit a little straighter in your seats.

you sent ellie an apologetic look when she glimpsed in your direction. as your teacher moved on from his scolding, you grabbed her sketchbook from her desk and flipped it open to a clean page, pen in hand.

meet me at my locker after school? you wrote quickly, pushing it over for her to see.

ellie grabbed the writing utensil you gave her. i have basketball practice after school :(

frowning, you exaggerated a sigh, shooting a playful eye roll her way as you scribbled out a reply. then i’ll come by the locker room after practice. there—problem solved.

problem solved. ellie wrote back with a grin, nodding at your solution.

“i am incredibly stupid. what was i even thinking?”

jesse was quick to shoot down your self-loathing, his shoulder brushing up against yours as he walked you in the direction of the girl's locker room. “no, you’re not. you were bold. there’s a difference.”

you pressed your lips into a thin line, cheeks slightly puffing out before you kissed the back of your teeth. anxiously running a hand over your face, you said, “well…is there really?”

“yes,” your friend quipped.

rolling your eyes, you shoved jesse jokingly as someone came walking out of the locker room. you instantly recognized dina in her cheerleading outfit, a knowing smile making its way onto your lips. the girl from your history class had always been super friendly.

“dina!” you called, earning a low groan from jesse.

the cheerleader grinned immediately, though you recognized its falter when she spotted her ex by your side. “hey! what’re you doing in the athletic building?” she made a show of not acknowledging jesse.

“i’m here for ellie!” you told her with a toothy smile, fidgeting with the straps of your backpack.

dina’s eyes widened with realization, but her bubbly appearance didn’t feign. she pointed a thumb toward the door she had come out of. “oh! she’s the last one still in the locker room, which i suppose you might’ve already known?”

shaking your head, you said, “yeah, i told her i’d meet her after basketball practice had finished.”

“well don’t let me keep you here then,” dina exclaimed, stepping out of the way to the door with the tiny woman’s symbol on it.

you nodded as you stepped past her, only looking over your shoulder to say, “i’ll see you guys tomorrow!”

“yep!” dina confirmed.

jesse shot you a reassuring grin as you disappeared into the dimly lit hallway that hosted the coaches’ offices.

heart beginning to race, you pulled the door handle to the locker room and forced your legs to move. the fluorescent lights were harsh against your eyes, your chest constricting with nerves as you walked past bathroom stalls, sinks, and floor-length mirrors. you couldn't remember the last time you had been in a locker room.

finally coming up on the athletic lockers (they were on a completely separate wall from the regular physical education lockers), you started to hear shuffling.

“ellie?” you called out, trying your best to not sound like you wanted to abandon this idea entirely.

as you passed a few more of the athletic cages, you spotted the girl you were searching for. her lack of a shirt made you balk.

turned toward the lockers, ellie passed a towel through her wet hair, arms tense with movement. you admired the taunt muscles of her back, her damp skin littered with small, but visible, freckles.

she hadn’t noticed your presence.

you cleared your throat promptly, offering her a smile when she turned around. trying not to be distracted by her toned arms and abdomen, you said, “hi ellie. hope i didn’t catch you at a bad time?”

she shook her head, mouth curling into something between a genuine grin and a satisfied smirk. “hey…and no, you caught me at a really good time, actually. practice ended about 45 minutes ago.”

nodding, you took a few steps closer. “yeah, i know. i asked a friend when practices normally end. figured me being a little ‘late’ would benefit. didn’t want to catch you before you had time to shower.”

“ouch,” she said, reaching to grab for her dirty practice t-shirt in her locker. ellie looked over her shoulder as you halted.

something about the way her eyes glinted made you deadpan, “if you throw that at me i will turn around and leave right now.”

chuckling to herself, ellie shook her head. “calm down, i’m not throwing anything at anyone.” she dramatically put the shirt and a pair of folded athletic shorts in a drawstring backpack before shoving it back into the locker.

“you are so annoying,” you snapped at her, moving to sit on the wooden bench placed directly in the middle nook of lockers. as you sat, you caught a whiff of sharp mahogany and cheap cologne.

ellie’s eyebrows raised, her shoulders leaning to press against the cool metal behind her. “and yet here you are, going out of your way to meet me in the back of the locker room after school.”

part of you was certain she made emphasis on the phrase ‘back of the locker room.’

shooting her a glare, though, you straightened as you said, “i said you were annoying, not that i didn’t like you.” there was a pregnant silence before you added, “besides, i wanted to ask if you wanted to go get coffee with me.” you watched ellie’s lips pull back in disgust, your heart dropping in an instant. “or not. sorry, i didn’t-”

“how about we go get dinner instead?” she interrupted. “coffee’s disgusting and i’m starving.”

blinking at her words, you licked your lips. “yeah. yes. that works.” it took you a moment to regain your composure. shit, i almost blew that. “i didn’t know you hated coffee.”

ellie turned and grabbed a hair tie. as she put half of her hair up—somehow in the most attractive way you might add—she said, “oh, yeah. that shit is gross.”

“um, have you even tried it?” you asked doubtfully, mouth forming into a frown. when the auburn-haired girl stayed quiet and instead clasped a thin silver chain around her neck you guessed her answer was clean no. 

you scoffed as you nudged her sock-covered foot. “i’m going to force you to try mine the next time i bring some.”

“sounds great,” ellie said sarcastically, a grin tugging on her lips. her smile sent chills sprawling down your spine.

shrugging off your backpack, you set it by your feet, muttering out a barely audible, “fuck.” you had no idea where this conversation was going, and your attempt at asking her out on a date had been a bust…sort of?

ellie had declined coffee and suggested dinner, but it still sounded like it fit more under the category of  ‘hangout as friends.’ talking to her was sometimes like talking to a brick wall. masc’s are so fucking clueless, you thought, releasing a heavy sigh through your nose. or maybe i’m not being obvious enough?

“what?” she asked at your suddenly agitated (as she’d describe it) attitude, wetting her chapped lips as she went to sit next to you. lifting a leg over the bench, she sat, body facing yours as she man-spreaded for comfort—her proximity and stature reminded you that she was still very much shirtless…and somehow way better at this (you weren’t sure what this even entitled) than you were.

goosebumps spread across the skin of your upper arms. you shifted, pulling up a knee to rest on the wood as you trailed off, eyes avoiding hers, “you’re just so…”

her head tilted, eyes narrowing as she leaned closer. there was no way she didn’t notice the way you sucked in a breath. “i’m so what? look at me when you talk,” she said.

your gaze snapped toward hers, but first flickered to the swell of her mouth.

“i’m so what?” she repeated, her voice lowering an octave. when you said nothing, she added, “cat got your tongue?”

between her teasing and the adrenaline coursing through your body, you were compelled to do the only thing you could think of to shut her up—to make her drop the questions. swallowing the lump building in your throat, you grabbed her face, thumbs pressing against her warm cheeks, and kissed her with unmistakable want.

although ellie hadn’t expected for you to be so physically direct, she did not mind it at all. following the rough pace you had set, she kissed you back with just as much ferocity, her fingers slipping into the belt loops of your jeans to slide herself forward and you closer.

you mewled at her movement, the pressure between your thighs growing as intensely as you were kissing her. she was quick to regain control of the situation you had thrust upon her.

“ellie,” you mumbled against her mouth, your eyes half-shut as she tugged on your jeans a second time.

“come here,” she told you hastily, lips trailing toward your left ear. “sit on my lap.” she kissed your temple. “please.”

shuddering at her request, you wasted no time in pulling away, pushing yourself off the bench, and situating your legs over hers in a straddle position.

the heat from ellie’s skin seeped through the fabric of your shirt, her hands slipping past the hem. you found yourself arching instinctively to her venturing touch, your stomach twisting into tight knots.

“you are going to make me go insane,” she confessed, her words coming out in a whisper, leaning in to kiss you again. her lips were gentler against yours, eager to savor the moment.

in turn, you indulged in letting your palms trace the sculpted muscles of her arms, fingers trailing every dip and curve from her years of work in the weight room. “you are so beautiful,” you told her delicately, relishing the way her skin burned under yours.

ellie followed the compliment, her hands finding your face and forcing you to look at her. green eyes etched with something between lust and admiration, she thumbed a corner of your mouth. “do you have any idea what you do to me?” she whispered. “from the moment you walked into that classroom…”

her words died in her throat and she swallowed thickly as you shook your head. “don’t do that. not here.”

“do what?” she questioned, adjusting her position on the bench.

the friction between your legs forced you to release a shaky breath, and you licked your lips in an attempt to focus on bringing your thoughts into coherent sentences. she was making it extremely hard. “i want to talk about this over dinner,” you told her hoarsely. “about what we are now. about what you want us to be.”

“are you saying you want to go on a date?” she asked quietly.

you couldn’t help your sudden smile. “i asked you earlier when i mentioned coffee, but you instantly shut that idea down.”

ellie rolled her eyes, though you could sense her pang of guilt. “you weren’t very clear on the date part. otherwise, i would’ve said yes immediately.”

surprise feigned your features. “you? saying yes to a coffee date?”

“oh, ha-ha.” she exaggerated the fake laugh. “and yes, had i known you were asking me out i would've sacrificed my comfort for your enjoyment. honestly, i think i do that quite often—as of right now i think my tailbone is being bruised.”

you sucked in harshly, moving off her with urgency as you shoved her shoulder with a hand. “why didn’t you say anything?!”

“and risk not feeling you up? yeah, no thanks.” her tone was definite.

your jaw fell slack as you crossed your arms over your chest, confounded by her response. “you can still feel me up without me in your lap, dummy.”

“yeah, but that sounds less fun,” ellie teased, holding up her hands in defense. she stood from her seat, reaching around you to grab her baseball t-shirt from earlier. as she put her arms through the sleeves she said, “i have a game tomorrow. you should come watch.”

you scrunched your nose jokingly, deciding to use her words against her. “and see you all sweaty? yeah, no thanks.”

ellie straightened out her shirt, shooting you a rather bemused look in the process. “how do you know you won’t like seeing me all sweaty and worn out?”

as she hunched down to pull on her converse, you exhaled heavily, unable to come up with something witty. mainly because she was right. you would totally like to see her all sweaty and worn out. so, with a slight bruise to your ego, you itched your nape, mumbling out, “i never said i wouldn’t like that. you always assume shit about me.”

“and you always assume shit about me, so we’re even,” ellie shot back, standing back up. she grabbed her backpack from inside the locker before changing the subject. “where do you wanna go for dinner?”

you shrugged, reaching down for your own bag. swinging it over a should, you said, “i don’t know. whatever you want. and you’re right, i do assume shit about you. like right now, for instance, i’m assuming you’re a picky eater.”

“i am not a picky eater.” she shut down your claim with a light kick to your shoe. “and fine, i’ll pick something and surprise you. did you drive to school today?”

you shook your head. “no.”

“great, looks like you’re sticking with me then.” she tried and failed to hide her cheeky smile. closing her locker, she grabbed your hand, hastily leading you toward the main hallway of the locker room. “come on.”

trailing after her, you felt your cheeks heat with the prompt realization of your reality. maybe you’d have to thank your earth and space teacher for assigning that stupid comet project. the steady growth of your relationship with ellie made your insides twist with pure excitement, and as she rambled about how much you would enjoy her restaurant of choice, you couldn't help but succumb to the feeling of pure bliss.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #tlou x reader #tlou #tlou2 #tlou ellie #tlou imagines #ellie williams tlou #ellie tlou #ellie williams x female reader #the last of us x reader #the last of us #the last of us part two #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part ii #wlw #sapphic #the last of us ellie #the last of us oneshot

[elliescrybaby]

dealer! ellie x sensitive!fem! reader

she’d be so soft, not only because you are sensetive, generally she would be soft to you and only you.

“gosh you are so cute, c’mere baby. Missed me? Yeah? i missed you too, sweet girl. s’much.”

she’d know when you’re anxious, she’ll stop everything to calm you down, deals, hang outs, when i say every fucking thing i mean it

“yeah, hey, hey. Look, m’here, m’here. Can i hug you?there you go, just like that. Look at me, pretty, you’re okay, i’ve got you.”

crying cause you’re feeling insecure? HHAHAH, no.

“look at you, such a pretty girl. Ugh, i’m jealous, your eyes are so pretty. In fact you are gorgeous, my gorgeous girl…”

when you get into a fight, and you start crying she’d feel her heart clench.

“It’s my fucking job to sell drugs, not to stay with you all the fucking time.” she said that without thinking, and the second she heard your sniffles she was teleported back to reality

realizing who she said it to, realizing that her mouth had a brain of it’s own, cause she certainly didn’t think that.

“no, no, no. M’sorry, m’sorry. Don’t cry because of me, doll. M’ fucking stupid, so so stupid.”

when you’re tierd, her chest is basically a pillow to you

“pretty girls need beauty sleep, c’mon. Close your pretty eyes, i’ll be here when you wake up. No need to worry, princess.”

calling you her sleepy girl, or her crybaby in an affectionate way ofc

“oh, my sleepy girl. Had a rough day, huh?”

“nothing wrong with being sensitive. i find it cute, actually. My little crybaby”

#the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams is my girlfirend. #ellie williams x fem reader #ellie tlou #tlou imagine #ellie williams hcs #ellie williams headcanons #shy reader #tlou #tlou imagines #dealer!ellie williams #dealer!ellie #crybaby

[nev3rfound]

here with you : j.m

something a bit different, my love for pedro is only growing and this series is breaking my heart.

sweet night in with joel, pre apocolypse. (established relationship between joel x fem reader) 1.2k

lotta fluff (cause this man deserves it), implied smut but not explicit, no spoilers for tlou. 

Sitting on the sofa, your eyes wandered over to the clock. It’s already gone 8.

With a sigh, you rearrange the couch cushions, nestling yourself in as you change the channels knowing you’re in for a late one tonight.

A few hours pass by the time you hear his truck pull up outside, catching the reflection of the headlights dimming in the glass frames of photos lining the wall.

The door quietly opens and closes, of course, he’d be conscious of waking you, hell, he’s had plenty of practice. “Wondered where you got to.” You call out, letting him know he doesn’t have to pace around silently or attempt to.

Joel chuckles to himself, hanging his jacket up on the crooked hook, and watches it slip off once again before trying to straighten the hook. "I gotta fix that damn thing."

Lifting your head up from the warm spot you formed on the sofa, a tired smile graces your lips. “You’re home.” With a sleep heavy voice, you lift your arms up, motioning for him to join.

"I told you not to be waiting up on me." Joel begins to walk toward you, each step heavier than the last which you can’t help but note. His eyes barely manage to remain open, and his usual half smile sinks.

“Come ere.” Tugging on his top, he almost collapses into you, muttering an exhausted apology. "What kept you this time then?" You ask, glancing down as you run your fingers through his greying brown tufts.

Joel groans under his breath, shuffling you both so you lay on your side, his hand cradles your back to keep you both on the sofa. "Tommy got the wrong part, had to fix three hours of framin'."

Chuckling under your breath, Joel furrows his brows at your response. "You really blaming your brother? Again?" You nudge him lightly, weening a hint of a grin from the man. "Anyway, Sarah rang whilst you were out."

You can feel Joel's grasp on you tense and explain. "She rang to say how much fun she was having, surprisin, I know. Half expected her to ring telling me she upset the poor girl for her stance on the new Britney album or something." Resting your hand on Joel's your fingers glide along the back of his hand, feeling the rough skin and splinters.

"Sounds like Sarah alright." Joel mumbles, tiredness now coaxing his voice.

With a heavy sigh, you roll yourself off of the sofa with a thud. “Come on,” Lifting your body up, you take a hold of Joel’s hand, tugging it lightly. “we’re going to bed, Miller.”

“Okay,” Joel yawns, sluggish movements following behind you up the stairs and into his room. “’least it’s Saturday tomorrow.” He rubs his eyes, flinching as you switch the bedside lamp on, illuminating your sweet smile.

“You know what that means?” You raise a brow teasingly.

“Oh, I think I got an idea.” He chuckles lowly before rushing to your side, tackling you onto his bed, and trapping you under his frame, listening to your laughter fill the room. “Breakfast in bed, right, sugar?”

Wrapping your arms around his neck, urging him closer you lightly kiss him before answering. “And all the extras, just for you.”

“Now that sounds like heaven to me.” Joel mutters into your lips before kissing you once more and begins to run his fingers along your neck and down your chest whilst the other supports himself above you. “I gotta admit though, Saturday is a long time away.” You hum in agreement, mischievousness lacing your gaze.

“I mean, we might as well treat ourselves a little bit earlier than planned, no harm in that, right?” You shrug playfully.

Tugging on your trousers, Joel smiles to himself. “None whatsoever.” He adds, reaching over to turn the lamp off.

*

Daylight starts to filter through the blinds, daring to peek through the thin cotton curtains and splay across you both.

Joel is the first to wake, as per usual. He squints at the sunlight, shifting slightly only to find himself stuck.

Looking down, his gaze softens. You’re using his arm as a pillow, nestled into his chest lazily with one arm slung across his torso and the other curled into your own chest.

“Mornin’,” Joel whispers into your hair. With his free hand, he brushes your hair from your eyes and tucks it behind your ear.  

Having missed his whisper, Joel leans closer and brushes his lips across the top of your head. “Huh?” You mumble, curling up into the sheets, tugging them over your head. “Oh don’t tell me I hogged the bed again?” Tiredness laces your morning voice, but the sight of your sleepy smile warms Joel’s once cold heart.

“For once you’re good.” Joel tells you. “However, I could do with my arm back before it loses all feeling.” He wiggles it, catching your attention as you avert your gaze to the trapped limb in question.

With a swift movement, you’re kneeling upright and notice the indent you’ve left on his arm. “I better not have drooled on you.” You sigh. “I didn’t drool, did I?” You ask, feeling heat creeping up your neck as Joel simply looks at you. “Joel?”

Waving your hand in front of his face, he remains quiet, just taking this moment in for all it’s worth.

Lifting the dead weight, he can feel the tingles of sensation begin to course through.

“You didn’t drool, darlin.” Resting his functional arm, he cups your cheek which is slightly indented from leaning on his arm all night along with part of the pillow’s pattern.

“Then why you smilin’ like that?” Resting your hands on your hips in a playful fashion, Joel can’t help but feel his exterior soften further.

“If only you could see yourself in the mirror.” He shakes his head, tugging you back into his embrace. “So intimidating.” He feigns fear, watching your eyes roll into the back of your head and laugh dryly in response.

“So funny, Miller. Yet here we are, must’ve won you over somehow.” You remind him, now resting your head on the cool pillow as opposed to his arm.

Shuffling to be at level with you, words fail to form a valid response. He knows it’s true, somehow, you weaned your way into the rock he called a heart. With time, you chiseled away at it without realizing it. Every smile, laugh, and interaction he saw you have with Sarah and Tommy. He didn’t realise the concrete lacing his veins slowly began to crack until he felt it pumping blood back through to his heart, hearing it beat once more.

“Yeah, whatever you say.” He comments, resting his hand on your cheek. What he wished he could say was so much deeper, the thought hovered in his mind, but the words failed to follow.

“Come on then,” You take his palm and kiss it before sitting upright and throwing back the covers. “got breakfast to make, handsome.”

Joel watches as you head out of the room and into the bathroom. He leans back in bed, taking it all in, the simplicity of it all and the joy it brings.

Feeling the full sensation now return to his arm, pins and needles having passed he too sits upright, realizing you’re worth all the pins and needles, as long as he gets to see you smile in the mornings.

#joel miller deserves happiness #but nvm #joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller oneshot #joel miller x you #joel miller fluff #joel miller angst #joel miller imagine #joel miller imagines #tlou #the last of us imagine #the last of us imagines #tlou imagine #tlou imagines

[qvrcll]

hiii!! i love ur work!!!

could u pls do an ellie(or abby) period piece where reader is a princess, but ellie(or abby) is a knight and it’s lowk forbidden ykyk?🫣

pink matter

summary: what starts off as a secret, and blatantly innocent rendezvous to the castle stables ends in a question between the strength you possess to deny ellie and the urgency of her that you crave — all in touches and hushed questions.

warning: slightly suggestive but nothing happens, knight ! ellie, princess ! fem ! reader, period piece

a/n: oh lord. this ask made my head spin in the best way HELLOOO. thank u so much for your interest in my works and such a lovely req!! i know this is a little short but i’m thinking of making a part two or something like that… maybe with abby? both of them? dangerous? idk! let’s see :P in the meantime, enjoy :-]

Ellie could never not worry about you. It was a habit now properly buried in the various mechanisations of her being, her footing as a soldier-turned-knight struck in deep mud and sworn to the kingdom she fought for tooth and nail.

“I’ll be fine, Ellie,” you purse your lips, stepping over the threshold of the stable you’ve seemingly snuck out into. The mud had tapered to rough chalk-like granules beneath the strength of your heels, which embedded rather than sunk with the kiss of the Earth. But you don’t mind — you’d barely swung a glance to the stain dotting your powdered garb, barely acknowledged the swing and pull of your arms against the stable edges, mantels, the way they smelt like trouble for a lady like you.

And yet, Ellie did.

“Princess,” she grunts, in that way that had your tummy churning in the oddest of directions when her fingers crossed the small of your back, warm and stitched with heat as she presses half her side to the back of you, “You mustn’t dirty your garb. If you allow it, I can carry you—“

“That is not necessary” you swallow, barely coherent without a pause to ascertain your breath. Was she insane? Was she just? Was she playing your poor heart with stannic poles as trusses?

Did she know this effect she carried in the very smell of her?

“Of course,” she sounds reserved, now, and you’re afraid you’ve scared her. Well, scrap ‘scared.’ Offended, at most. Left barren of the very services she can offer — her brawn is stalked clean and at the ready; muscle in her arm, muscle in her calf, muscle on her chest. She was a soldier, alright. Still, she’s far more awkward and bony with you, no longer any semblance of the blood and teeth she was of yesterday. Just a dear friend who followed at your heels with more caution than merriment as fuel, “Be careful.”

And you are. For the next thirty minutes, just to prove you can be, if you want to. Your shoes are a scratch dirty but indistinguishable from its acclaimed standards and your dress is smothering, molten quartz against the dirt in the stable. You pet the horses and giggle, try to hide the tense of your fingers and the sweat that kisses your neck when Ellie comes close, tries to balance you on your toes.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”

“See, pet here — horses prefer neck to ear rather than elsewhere.”

“Hush, princess. You’ll get us caught.”

“You make it sound scandalous,” you regard her latest comment, opting to face away and question her with thw stretch of your back facing her as a proxy, “that we’re here. We’re just here to pet the horses, are we not?”

“We are.”

“So? Why must we be so cautious?”

“Because is that really all there is to it…” a tingle of her breath skirts the best of your neck at her sudden adjacency, “Y/N?”

You turn, swivel and nearly fall into the crass below you at the gall of this woman — insinuating just as much was inapt, was it not? Absolutely malapropos, much to the tastes of the kingdom, your parents, things of other importance. And you do open your mouth, in protest…

…only that nothing of such… ‘importance’ comes to your defence. You look like a fish, red and blistering with heat like a teenager caught in a crush, not a princess toes deep in a stable with her sworn knight at knee and lip level. Not like that.

“Well?” she eggs on, and now her fingers pamper the skin of your neck, near the base, where they’ve grown warm and excited with your silence — she glances at you, mischievous and all smiles, for once, and it excites you. Makes you worry your lip against your teeth. Makes you carry the innocent part.

“W-Well… I don’t know… what are we doing, exactly?” you close in on the question, and her fingers flit against your cheek. That you can handle, you think. Hope. Her left palm is heavy on your hip, cradling the flesh so gingerly as she crowds you into the corner of the stable.

Her eyes light, once more, and it takes you seconds to figure the feel of her fingers on your lips. Firm and goading some reaction from you; excitement, thrill, something convoluted and messy.

“You tell me: what is this?” she asks, and her question feels like a weight against your throat in the way she nudges her nose into the flesh of it, tests your limits, asks you silently: ‘Are you willing to take the fall?’

And like clockwork, you offer her no words, but just an answer in the form of action, with her mouth on yours and the spit of each other marking the fervor of it as you go — and the way she holds you against the thew of her makes you forget the mud that has begun to discolour your robes.

© 2023 qvrcll ! do not repost any of my works on any platform.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams x you #ellie x you #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams fic #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams drabble #ellie williams x fem reader #tlou x reader #the last of us x you #the last of us x reader #tlou x you #tlou imagines

[multific]

Build a Home

Joel Miller x Reader

You stared at him. Much like many times before.

He walked around with such confidence, your eyes following him around the house.

Not even Ellie could stop him in his path. 

He needed to check the drains, then the upstairs bathroom and finally check the fences as he usually did.

"You are staring again." Ellie said as your eyes moved to her.

"Do you think... do you think he would like me?"

"Huh?"

"Like... on a date? Would he take me?"

She tilted her head.

"You two are married... what do you mean?"

"I mean-I mean he is so sexy."

"Y/N, he's your husband, if you want him to take you on a date... ask."

"I don't want to ask, Ellie. He has to want to take me on a date... he has to know without me saying."

Ellie blinked once, twice. 

"JOEL! Y/N wants you to take her on a date!" she yelled as the man came out of the kitchen and stopped as Ellie talked. 

"Date? Sure."

"No no no. You have to ask her out on a date because you have to know that she wants to go on one." Joel blinked once, twice.

"Y/N, do you want to go on a date?"

"No."

"No?"

"No. You didn't want to ask me and you wouldn't have if Ellie didn't say so. So, I'm not going."

Now both of them blinked at you before Ellie spoke up again.

"Definitely pregnancy hormones." she said pointing at your bulging stomach. The baby was the very reason why you couldn't even stand up, bound to the couch as the others worked.

As Ellie said that, you turned as a tear escaped your eye.

"I know that the baby and I are useless."

"Love, love, no, no please." Joel dropped the tool he was holding and rushed over to you, grabbing your hands as Ellie joined him.

"That is not what I meant. It's just, what you said was rather weird."

"You think I'm weird?" you turned to her, more tears falling as Joel pushed Ellie away.

"Love, she only meant that... she wasn't able to say what you were meaning to say. We can go on a date. Let's take a bath. I found some soap last time so we could have a bubble bath."

"Bubble bath date?"

"Yes, you, me and the baby." you finally calmed down a little as you nodded. Ellie came back, a small piece of bread in her hands, offering it to you and you took it.

You happily ate it and thanked her.

"A bath sounds nice. But- not if you don't want to."

"I do want to. I'll smell terrible once I'm finished outside so it will do me good, you could wash my back." you nodded.

"You do look very sexy while working. My strong handsome husband." he smiled, nodding as his hand squeezed yours.

"Thank you, Y/N. I'll try and continue to be sexy for you while sweating my ass off out in the sun."

"I'll make you a cold drink." Joel nodded again. Happy that you calmed down, your hormones lately have been a bit crazy.

"Thank you." he kissed you on the lips and helped you stand up before going out to the backyard. He started with the safety fences before moving to the plants, watering and checking them all.

You happily made the drink you promised him when Ellie entered the kitchen, offering you a smile as she searched for something to eat.

"Do we have any tomatoes?"

"We should." you said as you looked over her shoulder.

"You ate them again didn't you?" she asked with a smile and small mischief in her tone, but you took it way too literally. Your eyes watered once again just as Joel entered he let out a groan seeing you on the verge of crying... again. 

He didn't mean to groan so loudly.

"I'm sorry for eating the tomatoes! I'm sorry for being emotional and a wreck, I'm sorry for being pregnant and useless! And you Mr Miller, I'm not going to bathe with you if you think I'm so annoying! You can wash your own back or get another wife to do it for you." you said as you, as fast as you could, walked upstairs.

"You really need to stop pushing her buttons." Joel said to Ellie.

"I didn't do anything!" 

"Even breathing can annoy her. What was it this time? The apples?"

"Tomatoes."

"Fucking tomatoes... okay... I'll talk to her, you go and do whatever she will forget by tomorrow, lay low until then." Ellie nodded.

Joel found you in the baby's room, looking out the window as you quietly sobbed.

"Love, I-"

"I think we are crazy Joel. Bringing a baby into a word like this." your eyes landed on the streets and the other people. 

"We talked about this when you told me the news. I'm happy that we are having a baby, and while, yes this world is fucked, our child will be loved."

"I'm not even a good mom for Ellie, how can I be good for this one?" your eyes still not looking at him as he walked over to you.

"You are amazing with Ellie. I have no doubts you will do the same for the little one."

"I ate her tomatoes."

"Fuck the tomatoes, that doesn't mean you are a bad... parent. You have cravings because of the baby, she knows that, she didn't mean it like that. She knows you need it more." 

You let out a long sigh as Joel hugged you. 

"Thank you."

"Will you take a bath with me?" he asked as he buried his face into your neck, his beard scratching and tickling your neck. You let out a small laugh. 

"Okay, but you have to give me a backrub."

"Did the baby cause you trouble today?" he asked moving his hand over your skin, watching your skin as he rubbed circles on it.

"They moved a little but nothing too much."

"Probably you didn't notice because you were drooling over me all day."

"I won't deny that. But at the same time, I have been doing that since the day we met so, I think they are just not that active today." Joel nodded, one last kiss to your cheeks and he was off to go and run the water.

He has never felt this happy in a very long time. He was finally able to afford a house to keep you and Ellie safe, provided for you all and now, the baby.

Joel Miller felt at home.

Taglist: imreadinggoaway @fleursirvart​​ @v-2bucky ehsebastiancrunch-time-sports  @pxstelrainbow ablogbypeteparker liamssmilersmexylemony @greenarrowhead feelingsareharddd @thisismysecrethappyplace @sincerelyfan @theoneanna @aestheticsandmarvel @rororo06 @castellandiangelo @avengers-r-us @destynelseclipsa   @spilledinkindumpster celebsimagine @capsiclesdoll snoopy3000 @firstangeldragonranch @puknow @crazzyter  @alwayshave-faith @soleil-dor @alex12948 scream-kiwi79  @lxdyred  @imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl​ @liveforkarljacobs @anonymoussherlockandmarvelgeek​​ @paola-carter​​ @stunkbiggu

~Masterlist~

ˇAO3ˇ

             DO NOT REPOST OR TRANSLATE ANY OF MY WORKS

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller imagines #tlou #tlou x reader #tlou imagine #tlou imagines #tlou joel x reader #pedro pascal characters #the last of us #the last of us imagine #the last of us imagines #the last of us x reader #the last of us x you #joel miller tlou

[fict1onallyobsessed]

Can you make a Ellie Williams x reader where Ellie gets jealous and overstimulation y/n (I'm kinky 🚪🚶🏾‍♀️)

Unknowing yet Smart

Ellie Williams x Reader 18+

“Where’s that smart mouth now, huh?”

Her words circled your mind, clouded by the pleasure of her cock slamming right into you. Your hands tied together above your head, the bed posts keeping them in place so you couldn’t even dare to disobey her again.

Again.

Doing it the first time was a risk not many would take, but technically it wasn’t your fault since it was Dina who came up to you first…you weren’t the bad guy, you were ‘just talking’ to her. Now you were here, taking every single thrust, touch and moan she would give you.

“P-Please.” She’d not let you cum yet, and she started almost two hours ago. “I’ll be good, please.”

“Yeah? You wanna cum, slut?” Her lips skimmed yours as the hand on her neck squeezed again, taking away the little oxygen you did managed to get in. “You can cum, but I’m not stopping.”

The second part of that sentence went completely over your head, tears brimming your eyes as she reached down to circle your clit, her hips still thrusting into you without mercy. It didn’t take long for you to feel the coil snap, your juices coating yours as well as Ellie’s thighs.

She looked down between your legs, a little smirk plastered on her lips as she kept going in and out of you without a care in the world.

“W-wait…” you gasped, pulling at the restraints to try and slow her down. It of course didn’t work, she just kept going and going and you could feel your lungs burn more and more. “It’s too much, please.”

“I told you I’m not stopping.”

You cried out, but you knew she wouldn’t stop.

“I’ll carry on until I’ve fucked every last drop of stupidity out of you.”

THE END

#ellie x dina #tlou2 ellie #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams imagine #ellie williams smut #ellie smut #tlou ellie #ellie the last of us #ellie williams #tlou part two #tlou series #tlou imagine #tlou imagines #tlou smut #tlou fanfic #the last of us x reader #the last of us imagine #the last of us two #naughty dog

[downins]

college student!ellie x college student!reader hcs

this is in a modern!au, i love writing modern!au headcanons because it’s just so fun lmao and it’s so much more fun and i love being a delusional little bitch because of ellie williams. my god the things i would do for that woman 

 enjoy <3

- you’re the student that everyone adores because you have a sunshine personality, constantly helping everyone with their assignments, always friendly and literally a social butterfly. you’re such a sweet girl and who knew you’d caught the attention of ellie williams <3 

- you and her study the different courses but the both of you see each other in the library a lot, you’re there reading your books and completing assignments and she’s there drawing, thinking of new ideas for her upcoming projects. ever since she’s had a crush on you, she’d try and sit beside you more because you being close to her just makes her feel so giddy and shy. 

-after she realised that she has developed feelings for you, she’d try to do more to see you or help you in any situation. she’ll wait for a few days before making a move on you to not scare you away or anything. of course she’ll appear as cocky in the start but deep down this girl is just screaming because she’s literally talking to her dream girl. 

-when the both of you became friends, she’d get flirty as your friendship grows. she loves throwing in comments like “my bestfriend is such a pretty girl” “on my knees for you”. admit it, you’ll feel yourself getting red every time she says stuff like that. whenever she does that in front of you and not through texts, you can’t help but turn away so she won’t notice anything. ellie does not let it slide even once, “wanna come sit on my lap?” “aw someone’s shy”. she loves doing that to you knowing that no one else has this effect on you and she’s the only one who can make you shy. 

-the day she confessed to you is the day her whole world turned around, even though you’re always so comfortable around her and the chances of you accepting her feelings is high, she definitely felt nervous before telling you the truth about everything. when you nodded and said “i like you too els” with that really adorable smile on her face that makes her melt on the inside, she immediately kissed you and told you “i’m so happy because of you y/n i love you” 

-ellie williams is the best girlfriend you could ever ask for. whenever you’re in class and she misses you, she’ll text you real freaky shit but also cute ones. 

e: “babyyyyy when’s your class ending oh my god i’m dying” 

r: “calm down gayass just another hour and after that i’m all yours” 

e: “i need you now darlin, for cute and some other purposes ;)”

r: “williams i am in class don’t do this shit to me rn”

e: “please i just wanna feel you against me and hear your pretty moans :(”

r: “i’m blocking you”

e: “NO I WAS JOKING” 

r: “oh so you don’t wanna fuck me?” 

e: “maybe you should’ve blocked me” 

-she loves watching you study while laying on your bed, just being in the same room as you and observing you take down notes, watch video recordings, read your books makes her feel complete. she doesn’t want to disturb you because seeing you so peaceful and focused reminds her how lucky she is to have you but at the same time she wants you to also pay attention to her, give her kisses and cuddle with her watching movies. 

-when it’s close to finals and you’re freaking out, she’ll always be there at your dorm anytime you give her a call. you’re so precious to her and it breaks her heart to see you so anxious and not being able to sleep. she genuinely thinks you’re one of the smartest people on earth and that she’ll always be proud of her girl no matter what. she gives you so so many reassurance and kisses. whenever you start to ramble about nonsense, she’ll pull you in for a hug and try to calm you down in her arms.

e:”hey hey it’s okay baby you’re going to be just fine, you’ve already been studying so much there’s no way you’ll get a bad grade”

r:”no els you don’t under-”

e:”shh it’s going to be okay darlin, you’ll definitely ace your finals okay? i love you, you’re the most intelligent girl i’ve ever met and i am so so proud of you for so many things”

sorry if this one was short :(, please do drop me a request in my inbox to give me more ideas. thank you for reading my loves <3 

#ellie x fem reader #ellie williams headcanons #ellie the last of us #ellie williams modern!au #student!ellie x student!reader #ellie williams imagines #ellie williams fics #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x reader #elllie tlou #the last of us #tlou #tlou headcanons #ellie williams hcs #tlou hcs #tlou imagines #tlou x reader #tlou x fem!reader

[heartpascal]

if the door wasn’t shut

▹— joel miller x platonic!f!reader

▹— summary: months of travelling with joel and ellie come crashing down on you, the fear is suffocating.

▹— a/n: i don’t like the second half of this one D: but i made you guys wait long enough so i apologise!!! been super busy so this is v rushed but i hope you enjoy nonetheless

▹— warnings: angst, loss of loved ones, tlou ep 5/6 spoilers, father figure joel, reader is really scared, not proofread

masterlist | PART TWO

howl’s song associations!

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Had you known that those days in Boston QZ would’ve been the last peaceful ones for a long time, you think you might’ve treasured them more. Held them closer, let the edges sharpen when you thought of them, rather than seeing only blurred images, the memories faded.

You wouldn’t have believed it if somebody had told you. The life you lived in Boston was flawed, at best, but it was your life. Filled with violence and bloodshed, sure, but there were things you could control. Things that Joel and Tess had always made sure you could control.

Out in the wide world, the facade of control that the two adults had always kept up crumbled to dust in your hands, lost to Infected and hunters and shelters in the strangest places.

It was a difficult shift in your reality, and you tried to hide it from Joel. He had already given you so much, hell, he and Tess had provided you with a home, even when they had no obligation to do so. You owed them more than your life.

When you had met Ellie, you immediately disliked her. She grated on you, her biting words and humorous comments doing nothing but fueling your growing dislike of her. She was childish — she acted her age, showed her fear, and it was something you just couldn’t understand. You were far too used to closing down the emotion behind your eyes, to shutting away all of your baggage in a box deep in your mind.

It had worn you down, eventually. Hating her was much harder than you expected it to be, especially when she looked at you for the understanding she knew you possessed. You even watched as Joel softened up to her, far faster than he had done with you, and you couldn’t help but follow in his example, as you always tried to do.

Hushed conversations when following Joel’s tense figure, something young passing over you, something that had seemed so… far away. You had always thought that bonds like this could only exist in the world before your own, trust Ellie to prove you wrong.

But one gained friendship didn’t quite make up for all the losses. It was Tess, to start with. Something that had singed your lungs and left you breathing the smoke, something of choked words leaving you when she had revealed the bite on her shoulder. She had looked at you, that understanding passing through her eyes, grief for a life she wouldn’t get to live. You understood the gaze far more than you wanted to, and you knew that the burns scarring your insides wouldn’t fade for a very long time.

Then, it was finding out that Bill and Frank were gone.

It seemed wrong. Something so untouchable, so guarded, how could it possibly be gone? You couldn’t understand it, couldn’t understand how the few people you valued seemed to be dropping away before your very eyes, faster than you could even reach for them.

The journey seemed pointless to you, after that.

Though you felt for Ellie, that selfishness that had always been drilled into you rushed in, drowning out the empathy towards her cause. It left you with something empty inside of your chest, and you couldn’t figure out a way to fill it. You weren’t sure you wanted to.

It only got worse.

Warm days turned colder, the nights going to something nearby freezing, and then there was the events of Kansas City. You had been so sure Joel was going to die, that you and Ellie would follow soon after, that you couldn’t move. Your legs seemed frozen to the spot, and even as you heard the struggle in the other room, it didn’t quite register.

It was only when Ellie managed to get Joel through to the room you were hidden in that you managed to snap out of your fear-induced haze. Your eyes were cloudy, and after that, it was so hard to focus.

You and Ellie had found some comfort when Sam showed up alongside his older brother, Henry. They were a breath of fresh air in the hellscape of a city, and for once, you witnessed true childhood. Saw it in the way Sam scribbled on his board, in the way he laughed at whatever Ellie had written on it. It was contagious, almost.

That was probably the happiest you had been since leaving Boston, and it all fell apart so quickly. Like the first sparks of a fire squandered by the downpour of a storm.

You can’t even remember much of it. Not the big parts, anyway. You remember the little things, like the colour of Sam’s hoodie, or the splinters you got from the floorboards as you fell backwards, scrambled away from the only semblance of childhood you’d ever had. You remember looking to Henry, something in your chest begging to be let out, but choking on it before it could escape. Your remember the sound of something splattering against the wall, and you remember Joel touching your arm after the burial.

Everything was blurring together, but one thing stood out; that overwhelming fear that threatened to sweep you away with every sound you heard, every flash of movement in darkness, every loss you witnessed.

Each day it became harder to shake away the haze to your eyes, harder to feel something other than scared, harder to close that box in your brain and leave those big feelings in there. It became so prevalent, all of it weighing you down, pressing tightly against your shoulders, and somewhere along the line you knew that Joel and Ellie had noticed.

Whether it was your withdrawn behaviour, or the gaping hole ripped into your chest, you weren’t entirely sure. But they knew. Perhaps not to the extent that you believed them to, but they knew something wasn’t quite right.

And now it was the cold threatening to take the three of you — it was freezing the blood in your veins, the air in your lungs, and you really weren’t sure how much more of this you could take. It had been months since Henry and Sam, but it felt like it had been both no time at all, yet so far away. Everything still felt so raw, so fresh, despite time passing as normally as ever.

Joel had somehow managed to find winter supplies for the three of you, consisting of a coat and gloves, a hat that you let Ellie take. It was enough to keep you all alive, but it didn’t stop the chill seeping into your very bones, making it feel all the more harder to keep going.

It got to the point where you just didn’t want to. Couldn’t.

“Come on,” Joel said, your name falling from him as he patted your shoulder, all of his supplies already packed up, “Time to go.”

Getting up seemed impossible, so you didn’t. Just let your eyes glaze over and watched as Joel and Ellie grabbed their weapons, glancing outside of the cabin you’d taken refuge in. Joel looked back to you, his eyebrows furrowing as he noticed you hadn’t packed up any of your things, hadn’t even moved.

He looked at Ellie, frowning when she noticed, too. He made his way over, crouching down with aching knees, and placed a hand on your shoulder.

“Kid, we gotta get moving.” Joel said, shaking your shoulder the slightest to gather your attention. You just looked at him, shaking your head. “C’mon. We don’t have time for this.”

“I don’t wanna go anymore, Joel.” You told him, finally admitting the words that sounded so much like defeat. You hated that the world had won, but you were so tired of fighting that you just couldn’t bring yourself to do anything but lose.

Joel shook his head, eyebrows creasing, an expression close to dumbfounded crossing his face. He couldn’t understand.

“We’re closer than we’ve ever been!” Ellie said encouragingly, the biggest smile she could muster on her face. You couldn’t bring yourself to look in her direction, instead looking down to where your fingers pulled at the loose threads on your sleeping bag.

“I can’t,” You said, much closer to tears than you had even realised. “I can’t keep doing this. Joel, I wanna go home.”

His frown just deepened, uncertainty present in every feature on his face. Joel didn’t know how to handle this, and there really wasn’t that much time to do so.

“Kid…” He sighed, before sitting down properly beside you with a pained breath.

“No, Joel, I— I want to go back. I want all of this to go away. I want Tess.” You admitted, heart pounding so hard just at the mention of the woman you had lost, and it was painful. Your chest aches the more you thought about it, and there was the realisation that you were homesick. Though you weren’t sure if that’s as for Boston, or for Tess.

“There is no goin’ back, kiddo. Tess… she’s gone. Nothin’ we can do about it.” Joel said, taking a moment to steady the shake in his voice after saying her name. It was just as painful for him as it was for you.

“I’m… I’m scared.” You confessed, voice barely a whisper, but it echoed around the empty walls of the cabin. The confession almost scared Joel, he knew you preferred to keep everything locked tightly, never admitting to the fear he knew was there. “All the time,” You continued, lips trembling around the words, “And it’s all I can think about. I can’t keep doing this. Every time we meet something I just get so scared, I can’t move, can’t speak.”

“It’s okay to be scared—” Joel tried.

“No, it’s not! It’s like I’m frozen, and every time, I lose someone. I can’t watch you guys die. I can’t do it.” You cut him off, the tears falling from your eyes as you looked at Joel.

He couldn’t do much more than frown, unsure how he could fix something like this. He knew the feeling more than you could imagine, so familiar it was the clearest thing he could remember. Joel had felt this way for years, but he was an adult. He had people relying on him, he couldn’t shut down in the way he knew you wanted to.

“We’re not gonna die,” Joel said, hesitantly. It was stupid to make promises in this world, especially when danger and the unknown lurked around every corner. “We’re all goin’ to be just fine. Listen to me, kid, we’re gonna get this done, and then we’re all gonna find somewhere, no infected, and we’ll just live. But we need to get through this, first.”

You shook your head, turning away from him, and he glanced to where Ellie stood, the guilt flooded onto her face.

“You two listenin’?” Joel asked, beginning to pick up your things and shove them into your backpack. “We’re getting close now. It’s almost over. Got nothin’ to worry about.”

“He’s right,” Ellie said, quietly, passing Joel something to put in your bag. “Let’s just get this over with.”

They packed up your things around you, Joel grabbing your arms to help you to your feet, and Ellie linked arms with you as soon as you were up. Together, they managed to get you out of the cabin, back out into the cold.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

You had been so sure that one of you was going to die when the people on horses showed up, guns trained on each of you in turn. You thought it was going to be Joel when he shoved you and Ellie behind him, his head spinning around, taking count of the people who were a danger to you.

Then, they brought out their dog, and your heart stopped when they directed it towards Ellie. It was going to be her, you were almost sure of it, thought that it would get a whiff of something from the bite scarred over her forearm.

You held your breath for a long time, not able to let it go even when the dog settled, playing happily with Ellie. Surely, these people would shoot you, regardless. They certainly didn’t seem very friendly.

But no, they were taking you back to their town, with you and Joel sharing a horse while Ellie rode on her own. You’d never ridden on a horse, and before, you may have enjoyed the experience, but you could only feel that suffocating fear that made you choke on your words, so scared that these people were taking you to their town just to kill you. Or worse. You’d heard of people who do worse.

You couldn’t get the words out to express your concern to Joel, forced to stay silent and cling on to him as the three of you made your way past the walls, surrounded by strangers. You shared a look with Ellie, that nervous understanding shared between the two of you once more.

Your fingers twitch, aching to wrap around your gun, but that was the first thing these people had taken. Then it was your knife. And then the axe Joel had you storing in the side of your bag. It didn’t help that helpless feeling, that fear clogging your throat.

Joel’s tense frame loosens suddenly, something like relief sinking into his bones as he shouts, “Tommy!” A man immediately looking up from where he was stood atop of some scaffolding. Joel slides off of the horse, handing the reigns to you, before meeting his brother halfway in a tight hug.

Ellie frowns, and you understand the furrow to her brows as you looked at Joel and his brother. He was all the two of you had.

The two of you stick together as you follow Joel to wherever his brother is leading the three of you, sharing nervous glances and only just about relaxing when you’re seated with hot meals in front of you.

You did your best to tune as much of the conversation out as possible, even ignoring Joel’s comment about slowing down, as you shoved as much food as you could into your mouth while the opportunity was there. After all, who knew how long this would last?

Ellie kicked your leg when Tommy mentioned about a tour, the two of you reluctantly leaving your plates behind to follow the three adults. Maria went on with her touring speech, talking about when and how they settled in the town, with Tommy pitching in about the shared resources. It was only when she talked about separating you and Ellie from Joel that your attention was really caught.

“Joel.” You said, urgency in your voice, a pleading look sent his way as he wrung his hands together, his brother already heading in his direction.

“You’ll be fine.” He said to you and Ellie, nodding in your direction and missing the look of defeat you and Ellie shared as he walked away.

“Shall we?” Maria asked, looking between you and Ellie. She was half-turned away already, but caught the way you both gazed nervously at Joel’s turned back. The two of you nodded, following behind her as she made her way through the town, clearly as familiar to her as the back of her hand.

Ellie answered all of Maria’s idle questions whilst walking alongside her, though her answers were slightly withdrawn. It comforted you, even the slightest bit, to know that you weren’t the only one who was feeling distrustful towards this place. That you weren’t the only one on edge.

Maria opened the door to the house you, Ellie and Joel were meant to be staying in, swatting a hand in front of her face as dust rose up from the untouched surfaces.

“Homely.” Ellie commented, stepping around Maria to peek into the living room, and then the kitchen, whilst you remained beside the door with Maria.

“It’s not much, but it’ll keep you warm. And it’s got running water.” Maria said, despite this being more than any of you had had in a very long time. She smiled tightly at you, head dipping as she looked around. “Make yourselves at home.”

“When do I get my gun back?” You asked, probably the most you had spoken since your slight… outburst at the cabin, just a few days prior.

“Kids ‘round here aren’t armed. Nobody is.” Maria answered, eyebrows creased as she looked at you.

“Right, well I’m not a part of your commune, or whatever, so I want back what’s mine.” You replied, with more heat to the words than would’ve been considered respectful. You couldn’t really find it in yourself to care, though, because how were you meant to defend yourselves if you had no weapons? Especially considering Maria clearly didn’t want Joel here, and by extension, you and Ellie.

Maria sighed, a slight exhale from her nose, and you stepped away from her, looking towards Ellie, who stared right back at you with something nervous in her gaze. “We’ll talk about all this later, okay? How about you guys go take a shower, and I’ll grab you some new clothes.”

Ellie nodded, practically leaping up the stairs, and you heard doors slamming open until she finally found the bathroom, yelling an: “Aha!”

“There’s just the one shower in this house, but if you wanna have one now, mine and Tommy’s house is just across the street.” Maria offered, kindly.

“I’d rather wait.” You replied, voice snappier than you expected it to be, but you bounded up the stairs and flopped down in the first room you found.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Ellie had taken forever in the shower, so it was a while before you finally took your turn. As much as you hated to admit it, the warm water cleared away much of your bitterness towards this place. It felt good. Finally being clean, properly clean, after going so long living off of what little you could take when travelling across the country. You hadn't had a shower like this since Bill and Frank’s — and you hated thinking of it.

Maria had been around earlier, bringing two piles of clothes hanging in each arm, dumping them on the bed outside of the bathroom Ellie had been showering in. You hadn’t acknowledged her, so she had nodded and left quickly.

You didn’t exactly enjoy feeling like you owed anybody anything, but you had to admit that slipping on the clean clothes that Maria had left felt good. Wearing the long sleeved t-shirt underneath a thick jumper was probably the warmest you’d been in a long time, not that you would’ve admitted that to anybody.

The small part of you that had been numbed for the past few weeks began to thaw, and you felt almost embarrassed of how you had treated Maria earlier on — despite you having every right to act in such a manner. So, with a huffed breath of annoyance, you decided to follow the note the woman had left, and made your way across the street.

She had shouted to come in almost as soon as you had knocked, and you opened the door hesitantly.

The first thing you noticed was the sound of hair scissors, and it sent a pang through your chest. Then you heard Maria and Ellie chatting, and followed the noise. The chalkboard in her living room caught your eye, and you frowned as you passed by it.

“What’s going on?” You asked, eyebrows drawn together as you stepped into the room to see Ellie putting up her short hair.

“Just a trim,” Maria said, waving the scissors in her hand, “You’re up next.”

She noticed the way you tensed, drawing your arms back up towards your chest as your eyebrows furrowed further. It was defensive, the way you immediately curled in on yourself.

“No, no, I— I don’t want my hair cut.” By you were the words missing from the sentence, going unsaid but not unheard as one of your hands reached up to hold onto the too-long ends of your hair. They were splintering, and unhealthy, but you couldn’t do it.

The last person to cut your hair had been Tess — a memory you treasured, held so close that it almost hurt to think about. It was one of those things that had come naturally at the time, but felt so taken for granted once Tess was gone. You could remember the evenings so clearly, one of the only times that she allowed herself to come across as something almost maternal.

It would feel like you were betraying her, her memory, to allow someone else to take scissors to your hair. It was a job that belonged to Tess, and Tess only. You pretended it didn't hurt, the length your hair had grown. She would’ve never let it get this long.

Maria frowned, but seemed to take your defensive words and body language for a good enough answer. She placed the scissors on the counter, an act of truce, if you had ever seen one.

“Okay,” She said, hands up in surrender, before she reached to the counter and grabbed the coat that had been laid there. “Here, put this on. We’re going to the movies.”

You had no choice but to do so, tugging the coat on and resorting to holding it closed with your arms folded across your chest when your fingers trembled on the zipper. Ellie glanced at you with a frown, and checked you were following her and Maria out of the door, just huffing out a small sigh as you closed the door behind you, hurrying to catch up.

Sitting around a bunch of kids was one of the weirdest things to happen to you. You’d spent most of your life surrounded by only Joel and Tess, occasionally Bill and Frank, hell — Ellie was the first person your age that you’d really spoken to. After everything the two of you had been through, being surrounded by children felt much stranger to you than being surrounded by adults.

You could understand adults, to a certain extent. Kids… were a different story. So transfixed on the movie projected on the wall ahead, which you couldn’t understand. You felt vulnerable, sat in the middle of the room. Out of the loop, even, as adults watched and chatted around the edges of the room.

It was why you went to find Maria whilst Ellie followed Tommy out of the place, confused on why she had brought you here. “What am I meant to be doing here?” You asked her, when you finally found her standing to the side, gazing at the movie.

“We’re at the movies,” She laughed, saying your name, “You’re meant to be watching the movie.”

“Why?” You asked, incredulously, because how did this help anybody? Watching fake people in an image against the wall might’ve fascinated you, but you were nervous. Paranoid. At any moment, they could have people breaking into the town, knocking down the walls, anything… so why waste time and people watching a movie? To you, it would’ve made more sense to have more of these people stationed as guards.

“Entertainment,” Maria offered, moving from where she had been leaning against the half-wall. “Whatever you wanna call it. You’re not out in the wilderness, anymore. You’re safe. Take some time, enjoy the film.” She told you, and you hated the sympathy that she held in her gaze.

You moved to say something, but followed Maria’s gaze to see Tommy walking back through the doors. Without another word to her, you were shoving your way through the crowd and pushing the door open, back out into the cold air.

By the time you found your way to the house on Rancher Street, both doors at the top of the stairs were tightly shut. You frowned, unsure why they would’ve shut them, and made your way up to the room Ellie was in.

“Ellie?” You whispered into the darkness of the room, seeing her turned away from the door as she lay on the bed. She was still, and remained quiet. With a sigh, you closed the door and crossed the hall, opening Joel’s door with the same results.

You tiptoed back downstairs, frowning as you laid a blanket across the couch, swatting the dust that rose to the air.

∘₊✧───── ───── ───── ─────✧₊∘

Waking up to an empty house stirred the panic that you had been storing away. You felt frantic as you tumbled up the stairs, ripping the covers away from the unmade beds as if Ellie or Joel could’ve been hiding beneath them. But finding nothing just made everything so much worse, because what if you were right all along?

Anybody could’ve come into the house, caught the two of them off guard, and what could they have done? All of your weapons were taken from you, which meant no defence, and no deterrent.

You were ripping the kitchen apart before you could think to do much else, pulling drawers out and sending the dusty contents crashing to the floor. In the end, you found nothing of use — the sharp cutlery had long since been taken, leaving dust in the empty compartment that should’ve held knives.

Your last resort was the plate you had smashed against the counter, leaving a dent in the material upon impact. Blood trickled down your cheek from a minuscule cut, the result of a tiny piece of ceramic. You grabbed the sharpest piece of the plate in a gloved hand, and marched out of the front door.

Upon entering Tommy and Maria’s house, you were greeted with nothing but silence, despite the impact the door had made against the wall when you had opened it. A small piece of paper on their kitchen counter caught your eye, and you snatched it up.

Going to the stables first thing. Love you - Tommy.

The edge of the paper was crinkled, and you figured that Maria must’ve seen it already.

Your run to the stables was frantic, and not at all subtle. People stared as you practically sprinted across the town, almost slipping on patches of ice that blended in with the snow. “Slow down, girl!” Somebody had shouted at you as you passed, but you just gripped the sharp ceramic tighter, barely feeling the way it had begun to tear at your glove.

“Joel, Ellie!” You shouted, almost hysterically, as you finally saw the two of them. Ellie was already sat upon a horse, holding the reins as Joel spoke to his brother. They both turned to face you as you approached, an almost defeated look matching each other’s expressions. “What—What’s going on?” You asked, stumbling into Joel and feeling him grasp on to your shoulders to get you to finally stop.

Joel shared a look with Tommy, who looked back at him with what was almost sympathy.

“Kid, I…” He sighed, rubbing a gloved hand down his face as his speech trailed off.

“What?” You snapped, gripping the ceramic tighter.

“Listen to me,” Joel said, his hand squeezing your shoulder as he said the words. “Me and Ellie are heading to the University—”

“Let—Let me grab my bag.” You told him, trying to turn away but feeling his grip tighten before he turned you back to face him, a bracing expression on his face. He looked almost pained.

“You’re not listening!” He told you, sounding far too close to frustration. “Me and Ellie. Not you.” He repeated, watching carefully the way your furrowed eyebrows fell, something so similar to grief presenting itself in the way your whole expression fell apart.

You looked to Ellie, only to find her gaze averted, and shook your head as you turned back to Joel. “What? You’re— You’re what? Leaving me behind?”

“It’s not fair for us to ask you to—”

You cut him off, stumbling back and away from his hands, and watched as they fell from the air where they had held on to you. “It’s not fair?” You asked, trembling from something other than the cold as you looked at the only man you had ever trusted.

The ceramic in your palm fell to the ground, fibres of your glove clinging to the edges of it. Joel frowned.

“Not fair?” You repeated, at the sound of their silence. “You know what’s not fair, Joel?” You questioned, stepping forward to push your hands against his chest, feeling your chest ache when he did nothing to stop you. “Following you two, all this way, just for you to fucking abandon me!”

“We’re not abandoning you!” Ellie said, then, her voice sounding just as childish as the words did. Because if they weren’t abandoning you, what were they doing? They hadn’t even said goodbye — if it weren’t for you running out here, after waking up to find them gone, you might have never even seen them again.

“Yes, you are!” You yelled at here, feeling your throat clog up as your vision went cloudy, “And after everything…—”

You stared between them, waiting for them to have a response, but neither of them did.

“I lost everything, following you here. Everything! It’s all gone. Tess…” You trailed off, feeling tears bubble at the corners of your eyes as you said her name. It was a betrayal, more than anything. If it weren’t for this whole adventure, Tess would’ve been alive. Bill and Frank, maybe not, but Tess.

“That ain’t fair, kiddo, we—”

“None of this has been fair. None of it! And you—you were just going to fucking leave me! How’s that for fair?” You asked desperately, despite knowing that no answer they could give would be what you wanted. All of your fear over losing them, it had never considered that they may leave of their own accord.

Maria said your name, approaching from behind you, and you didn't flinch when she placed a hand on your shoulder. You missed the pain on Joel’s face at the way you allowed her to comfort you, but had moved away from his attempts. She pulled you a step back from him, and another, until she finally turned you away as your tears spilled over.

Tommy shook his head when Joel made a move to follow the two of you, and you pretended not to notice their gazes on you as they strode by.

“How could they just…” Your voice broke off at the edges, and you felt the haze to your eyes returning as you looked at Maria, the realisation that you were alone hitting you harder than any of your fear ever had. That was fear; a possibility of what could happen, whereas this… this was reality.

And your reality was that nobody loved you enough to stay.

PART TWO

#joel miller x reader #joel miller x you #joel miller imagine #joel miller one shot #joel miller angst #joel miller father figure #joel miller fic #joel miller fluff #tlou imagines #tlou one shot #joel miller platonic #pedro pascal angst #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal imagines #pedro pascal imagine #pedro pascal x you #heartpascal writes

[cassyxox]

I’m so obsessed with the concept of bbf!ellie I had to make a little post..heavily inspired from a post by @clearheartgreyflowers

Imagine bbf!ellie teaching you how to play guitar..18+

ur back pressed against her front..her fingers guiding ur’s to different strings. she would so tease you. letting out sweet little praises.

“see?..your gettin’ the hang of it..”

“ur doing so good I’m-…kinda surprised” she chuckled. making ur neck shiver. her face angled around you. watching from below.

you barely could even function with the way ellie was praising you everytime u did good.

but when u didn’t..she would grip ur wrist. rather softly. letting out a little “tsk tsk tsk” you on the other hand breathing out a small “ahh..” brows furrowed from the grip she had on u.

“wrong string babe..”

you looked back at her. “Im-..this is so hard”

“let me try again?..pleasee?”

studying her zoned out expression. you couldn’t tell what she was thinking. but then a smirk rose upon her freckled pretty face. green eyes back on yours. her right hand let go of your wrist. the ache slowly going away.

“how bout this?..” she spoke. wetting her lips. suddenly the feeling of her back non comforting anymore. she turned around facing you fully. pulling the guitar out of ur shaky arms.

“ellie what are you-“ you tried but she finished. “how about we play a little game?..” u rolled ur eyes.

what game could she possibly wanna play.

u scoffed. “ellie..we’re not 12 what are you saying?” but in the back of ur mind u were so nervous.

Ellie was a lot. well her mouth was. always leaving u in awe..whenever u were around her and your brother.

Like that one time where u were laying in bed. thinking about what ellie meant earlier when u sent a pic of you in a bikini to the gc with ur brother and her in it.

her response being a “yea I would..”

ur brother’s a short “ellie dude..chill fr”

whenever u had tried asking him later that night what she meant. he had brushed u off with a quick “nothing.”

leaving u to wonder in ur own thoughts all night.

but now..it was just you and her. in ur room.

ellie’s voice pulling u out of the daze. “I’m saying that if you—you know mess up..you have to do something for me..” u giggled. “uhh like what exactly?”

does she want like a hug or something?

“give me a kiss..on the lips.” u laughed even louder. “ellie ur not..being serious right?”

was she?

she smirked. “oh I’m being super serious (y/n)..or are you..”

she looked around the room. making a frightened expression.

“..scared?” u rolled ur eyes at her gesture. “uh..no it’s just a little strange..” u softly muttered out. looking everywhere but at her.

taking a glance at ur ring finger. then back up at her.

being met with a flirty smile? oh ellie…

“kay well..don’t make it strange—just think of it as a thank you for showing me how to play ur guitar kiss..you know?” she spoke eyeing the way ur lips were halfway open.

She just wanted to stick her-

“ok whatever.. I’ll do it” crossing ur arms you made eye contact with ellie. the smile on her face never faltering.

“alright..cmere” she grabbed her guitar watching u get situated very closely in front of her. your jeans scratching against hers.

she gave u her guitar. basically pushing it into ur arms.

“what do I do?..” questioning her antics. she smirked. a little pitch in her voice. “play me what I showed u earlier—the first part..small one.”

she’s doing this on purpose. u barely even remember the right strings. u were so focused on her fingers.

“ellie.” “just uhh—do it” her smile faltered.

“geez okay..” u muttered. rolling ur eyes. ur fingers gripped the strings. u slowly strummed trying so desperately to flick the right strings. u were sounding pretty good until..

“wrong string” u stopped.

“ellie that didn’t eve-“ “-it was the wrong string” she spoke quickly her voice never faltered.

“whatever..” u huffed pushing her guitar to the floor. “sooo..” u heard her giggle. “what about that kiss yea?” she really wanted a kiss.

“ellie can’t we just..hug or something?” u pleaded. her eyes boring into urs. “no u agreed to it so you kinda have to” she expressed. shrugging her shoulders. u groaned moving closer to her.

she had that stupid weird smile on her face.

“on the lips?” “yes (y/n)..” u sighed. leaning into her but she moved back. “ah ah ah..on my lap.”

u have got to be kidding me.

“ellie that’s so stupi-“ “—ur making this take way longer than it has to..cmon.” she groaned pulling u on top of her by ur hips.

why were u internally shaking.

“nice seat right” ellie teased. “oh my-shutup” she tapped ur hip with her finger patiently waiting. u sighed. leaning into her but this time she didn’t pull back. the warmth of her lips meeting urs. she groaned loudly but was muttered by your mouth. her grip on your hip tightened.

U were in a daze before u pulled back. lips wet from her warm ones. she patted ur hip.

“see..wasn’t so hard was it?” her raspy voice filling the now quiet room.

u shook ur head. trying to seem unfazed.

“guess not..” u spoke. moving from ur place on her lap. “soo..” “pick it back up we’re not done..” ellie said. her lips were plump.

her neck feeling hot for some reason.

u groaned. she stiffened. feeling rather flushed. thinking of her next demand. she really wanted to play with u.

“If u mess up this time u have to give me a kiss on the neck.. yea?” She tried to sound tall and proud. but the shakiness in her voice was heard.

u scoffed. “ellie cmon..what are you doing..” questioning her antics. “just playing a little game..why are you making this into something it doesn’t have to be”

she’s just playing a game. It’s not that serious. She’s just messing with me like she always does. u thought. your just reading to much into it.

“fine..” “okay then”

..2 minutes later..

“wrong string”

“ur so annoying-” “—what was that?” she grabbed the guitar pulling it away. “nothing..” u sighed. crawling toward her.

I can’t believe I’m doing this. u thought to urself. slowly angling ur head towards her neck..

ur breath hitting the pale flesh making her softly groan out. “don’t wet ur pants now..” u joked. “shutu-“ her raspy voice getting cut off by the feel of ur lips on her lonely neck. the feel of warmth suffocating her. u leaned in even closer. Tongue tracing over her skin. “ohh yea..” she softly spoke.

u inched back. looking at the little mark u left.

“so pretty..” u gazed up at her. a little smile on ur face.

“Imagine what my brothers gonna say” u laughed quietly. “yea imagine..” nervousness in her voice as she spoke. “you okay ellie?..was that to much?”

“no pick it back up.”

u were shocked with her next demand she wanted. “uhh— you have to kiss my stomach..o—on ur belly looking up at me.”

kinky.

it wasn’t surprising when u messed up again. maybe u we’re doing it on purpose. the whole ordeal was awkward and another feeling you couldn’t quiet think of. Ellie smiled down at you with such a heavy grin.

she wouldn’t fully admit it. but the sight of u on ur stomach touching her in such a way. was making her forget this was just a..game?

yes a game. she kept repeating in her head.

the game kept going. Ellie wanting u to kiss random places on her. until it got to the last one.

U were so close to finishing the whole piece. but ur stupid finger messed everything up.

“wrong string.” oh god.

u sat patiently waiting for her demand. but u didn’t think she would be this upfront.

“Put ur hand in my boxers..” ur eyes grew wide. ur fingers dug into ur hand. “el..”

“do it.” her jaw clenched. ur breathing was ragged. frantic. u could feel ur heartbeat out of ur chest..

u slowly approached ellie. how was she so calm?

u moved ur wrist from ur side. moving way to slow for her liking. “cmon unbutton em..s’not that hard” she leaned back on her elbows. giving space between her thighs.

u couldn’t even look at her. just so focused on getting her buttons undone.

once u finally did. Ellie pulled ur wrist under her dark jeans. ur hand was met with..was that..

“You feel that?..now take them off.”

oh this was gonna be a long night.

pics @elliesgalaxy🙏

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams smut #the last of us #tlou imagines #ellie tlou #ellie x you #tlou2 #ellie williams imagine #ellie smut #ellie the last of us #ellie x dina #tlou fanfiction #tlou x reader #ellie x reader #ellie williams drabble #tlou part 2 #the last of us part 2 #tlou 2 #ellie williams x y/n #ellie x yn #tlou fic #ellie #ellie x fem reader #lesbian

[cammys-imagines24]

• Feel Me •

Abby having a thing for making you feel her long after you fucked. Impressions of you two having sex burned into your limbs, your muscles, your skin. How she manhandled you into so many positions and stretched your body to the max. The intoxicating stretch of her strap working it's way into your pussy or her fingers stretching your hole out.

The next day you'll limp from your shared bed and she'll be all smiles.

"Need help, babygirl?" She'll pick you up in her big, strong arms, the ones that had previously forced you onto the mattress and maneuvered your body however she wished.

When out on patrol, you'll have trouble mounting your horse, the action of having to widen your legs in order to get on the saddle making your inner thighs burn. She'll be at your side in an instant, her smirk as cocky as it gets.

"You a little sore, hon?" She'll hoist you onto the horse and get a kick out of the way you bite your lip as you two ride. The bouncing up and down searing against your pussy, your jeans dragging along your clit.

"It's too much." Is her favorite phrase, when she's fingering you.

"A-Abby, it feels so big." Is her second favorite, when she's drilling you into the bed with her strap.

"Oh, yeah? You want me to stop, baby?" Always you shake your head, despite the pretty tears that leak from your eyes.

"Good job, babygirl. You did so good for me." She'll praise after she fucked you into oblivion.

"Lemme massage your muscles, hmm?" She'll put her big, calloused hands to work, kneading your sore muscles, knowing she was the reason for it.

You'll gasp when her fingertips massage your inner thighs and Abby will smirk against the nape of your neck. She'll just have to slip a finger between your still damp, swollen folds.

"You feel me, babygirl?" She'll rasp out, a whisper against your skin. "Yeah, you'll feel me for days."

#the last of us #tlou #abby anderson #tlou abby x reader #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson x reader smut #abby anderson headcanon #abby anderson headcanons #abby anderson imagine #abby anderson imagines #tlou x reader #tlou headcanons #tlou imagines #tlou fanfic

[luvsellie]

THE ATTRACTIVE THINGS ELLIE WILLIAMS DOES

maintaining eye contact. especially when she’s feeling quite cocky and is enjoying the way you bashfully look away from her. on a more serious note, ellie is a very sentimental person; she lets you know she’s listening by watching and studying you.

man-spreading. she wasn’t aware of it at first, she just simply did it out of comfort (not that you’re complaining). though she did start to notice the way you would stare at her lower half and fidget in your seat whenever she’d widen the space between her knees and move her hips forward. she didn’t have to confront you to know you were turned on.

planting light kisses on your shoulders and neck. loves how soft your skin feels under her lips. she could spend hours worshipping every single part of your body if she had the chance, but her favorite place to kiss you (beside your mouth) is your neck and shoulders. they’re just so pretty, especially when they’re decorated with hickeys.

doing your chores without having to ask. one of her biggest love languages is acts of service. because she sometimes struggles with comforting you, she shows her affection another way. for example, if you had a pretty rough night—or day—you can definitely guarantee that she would run you a bath and just sit with you. the following morning she’d let you sleep in and upon waking up you’d find that the dishes from the previous night's dinner are already dried and put away, the laundry has been ironed and hung, and any clutter found on the coffee and end tables has been returned to its original place of resting.

complimenting and sweet talking you during your worst moments. she will hold back your hair when you’re hunched over the toilet sick to your stomach, rubbing soothing circles on your back and making sure you’re as comfortable as one could get in your condition. “god, i feel and look like shit, stop staring at me.” to which she'd chuckle and scoot closer, adjusting her hold on your hair as she replied with, “on the contrary, i think you look hot like this.”

stretching after she’s been idle for awhile. you love to stare at her while she stretches, and, well, who wouldn’t? every time she rolls her neck, exposing just a glimpse of her hidden adam’s apple, you can’t help the want to practically pounce on her right then and there. and when she raises her arms, letting a sliver of her toned abdomen show, she relishes the way you squirm and try so hard not to look at her.

swearing under her breath and licking her lips. she's well aware of this habit of hers. however, she didn't realize that this always caught your attention until after she noticed you ogling her mouth as she hauled big-ass hay bales into the barn. in your defense, you were just a few feet away, giving the sheep their grain, when you heard the faint “fuck” slip from ellie's lips. from then on the habit became more noticeable.

getting excited about her interests. watching the corners of her mouth quirk upwards always puts a smile on your face. you could sit and listen to her forever if it meant that she could talk about the things she loves to read and draw. the way her eyes scrunch ever so slightly, and her eyes light up...you make it your mission every time you go out on patrol to look for more comics and star cards, or even small trinkets you think she would like.

#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie x reader #tlou x reader #tlou #tlou2 #tlou ellie #tlou imagines #ellie williams tlou #ellie tlou #ellie williams x female reader #the last of us x reader #the last of us #the last of us part two #the last of us part 2 #the last of us part ii #wlw #sapphic #the last of us ellie #the last of us oneshot

[imaginesfordifferentfandoms]

Get Out Of Here (Not Without You)

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Prompt - “I need you to trust me, there’s no time to explain,  just do everything I say and you’ll be safe.”

When you had first moved to Boston you knew then and there you knew your life would change, accepted into one of the top schools on a full ride scholarship, leaving your small town behind and being the first in your family to make such a huge decision. Of course you hadn’t quite expected how drastically your life would change, you hadn’t expected to be sat in your dorm room working on a paper that seemed so important at the time listening to soft music in the background before the radio to cut out abruptly with an emergency broadcast telling you to stay inside, hadn’t expected the flat hum of the phone as it refused to dial any number.

You still remembered those early days, sitting alone in your dorm room with no information on what was happening. You remembered the first bomb dropping, remembered how, even though it was far away, your whole room seemed to shake and you stood from your bed abruptly to run over to your window just in time to see the next bomb. You still didn’t know how you’d survived that but eventually you had to leave your room and that’s when you saw them, or more realistically it saw you first, its head cracking over in your direction before the rest of its body followed and you ran until your chest hurt.

You’d gotten lucky, you’d found one of the quarantine zones in the first month of the government having set them up, you’d been in here long enough to hear people’s horror stories of having to walk for miles, days on end, just to get here, heard how they had narrowly escaped the clickers. You’d only ever seen a handful of them and that had been in the first month of the outbreak, you couldn’t even imagine how they had evolved in the many, many years you’d been in these walls.

It seemed strange at first, hell sometimes it still felt strange, how the world in these walls never seemed to change. Here you were with jobs that provided ration cards, an apartment, if it weren’t for all the guards it’d be easy to forget about the outbreak.

Sometimes you were curious though, you’d stop counting how many years it had been since you first walked into the quarantine zone but it was long enough for you to forget what the outside world looked like. You’d heard stories about what they called the Open City but each one was even more unbelievable than the last, headless clicker roaming the streets, dead that had been set on fire still moving, hordes of them attached to each other as they made their way through the city.

You wanted to go outside, it’s not like you wanted to go very far either but it’d be good to remember what the old world looked like, to remember that beyond these worlds you once had a life, a life that was so different from this.

You had a gun stashed away underneath your floorboards, you remembered how fast the dead things moved all those years ago but it was a risk you wanted to take and there was only one person in the quarantine zone you knew that snuck in and out.

“Joel-” You started to argue but he cut you off before you could even begin.

“Don’t.” Joel said, shutting you down immediately, not even entertaining the idea for a second. “What makes you think I’d ever say yes to takin’ you out there?”

“I’d be with you, Joel, I’d be safe.” You insisted and watched as his face hardened and somehow felt like you’d said the complete wrong thing.

“I can’t keep you safe, Y/N! When I go out there I don’t have to give a damn about anyone else, if I take you out there-” Joel cut himself off as he sat heavily on the sofa and glared at you. “Don’t ask me again.”

“But Joel-” You tried again only to be cut off for a second time.

“What did I just say?” He snapped and you rolled your eyes as you sat down next to him, arms crossed over your chest and definitely not pouting. “Why you so desperate to get yourself killed anyway?”

“Why are you so damn sure I'll get myself killed?” You shot back before sighing and sinking further into the sofa. “I just, I don’t know, ok? Part of me just needs to see the outside world, it’s been so long. I know it’s dangerous, trust me I get it-”

“You don’t get it, Y/N/N.” Joel interrupted you again but this time his voice was softer as he leaned back into the cushions and turned his head towards. “There’s shit out there you don’t need to see, alright?”

“I wanna go outside, Joel.” You told him, lowering your voice to match his, not demanding anything but just repeating it. “I know it’s dangerous and I know I’m asking you to risk a lot but I really want to see outside the walls at least once more in my life.”

“There’s nothing good out there, not anymore.” Joel told you honestly and you nodded, you believed him, the second those bombs fell from the sky it felt like everything good had been taken with them. “You’re safe in here, Y/N, just…just stay in the walls.”

Despite Joel’s warnings you found yourself only a few nights later waiting until the guards’ shifted positions before you were sneaking out, knowing the way through information Joel had let slip across the years. It took a long time, there were a few close calls where you had to be as quiet as possible, but eventually you could see an opening to the city.

By the time you were out of view of the quarantine zone it was too dark to see much of anything, a strange feeling when years ago you had walked Boston’s streets at all hours of night and the streets had been lit up from streetlights, the lights from cars still out at that time, lights spilling out of bars and apartments.

The first thing you noticed was how quiet it was, the stories you’d heard made it seem like the streets would be filled with monsters, you unable to move past them, but the streets sounded empty and so did the building you entered, you weren’t sure how well you’d sleep out in the open city but you were going to hide away until the morning and explore as much as you could before sneaking back into the quarantine zone.

It was surprisingly easy to fall asleep that night and when you woke up the next morning to the sunlight on your face you felt a burst of excitement. Last night it had been far too dark to see anything and you knew you only had a few hours of daylight. It wasn’t long before you were up, double checking your backpack and making sure your gun was loaded before you were pulling the door open, waiting a moment to see if you could hear anything, and heading out into the city.

You paused in the doorway of whatever building you had entered last night and stared out, frozen in disbelief. Skyscrapers had collapsed, some falling into each other whereas others had crumbled into piles of rubble. Greenery covered almost everything in sight and you couldn’t help but notice how the world had never seemed so green before the outbreak, maybe you just couldn’t remember but the city had never felt so full of nature.

As you walked further into the city you saw all the cars, ambulances, police cars, all of them dusty and long since dead, covered with leaves and moss. Your stomach turned as you saw a stuffed bear laying abandoned on the floor, looking up to see a kid’s car seat bloody in the car. You forced your feet to move, surprised at how easy it was to walk through the city, there wasn’t a clicker in sight, you’d been walking for a good hour, making your way through streets and buildings to get to the other side when the way was blocked and other than seeing dead bodies you hadn’t seen much else.

You finally came across a building you remembered, it was the library. In the year you’d lived in Boston you had practically lived in this building, could still remember the text books littering your table as you wrote your papers. To see it now was strange, it was long abandoned and the building had its fair share of greenery growing around it.

You hadn’t even taken five steps into the building, eyes wide as you looked around, when you let out a scream, the sound muffled as a hand wrapped around your mouth and an arm wrapped around your middle, trapping both your arms to your side and stopping you from getting your gun.

“And you're dead.” You heard a voice hiss in your ear before you were shoved away, barely staying upright as you stumbled and turned around.

Joel was stood before you, gun slung around his shoulders as he glared at you and you glared right back even as your breath came out quick and fast and your heart felt like it was going to beat out of your chest.

“What the hell Joel?” You shouted, stepping forward to push at his chest but he caught your wrist and pulled you close.

“Me?” He questioned in disbelief and tightened his grip as you tried to pull away. “What the hell are you thinking? Clearly you’re not! Jesus Y/N, you could’ve got yourself killed.”

“I asked you to bring me and you didn’t-”

“Don’t you dare put this on me.” Joel told you, his voice cold as he continued to glare at you. “If you die, that shit ain’t on me.”

You knew Joel was only shutting down on you because you had scared him, he liked to think he had his walls up but you’d known him for years at this point and you could read him as easily as you could your favourite book.

Joel hadn’t exactly been looking for friends when you’d met him working the same job but you had been persistent and before he knew it you had wormed your way into his life, even after he swore not to let anyone else in, he couldn’t go through another heartache. At first he kept his distance, refused to answer any questions about his life before but eventually he started letting you in, there was still a lot you didn’t know about his life before but then again the people you were before the outbreak were whole different people so you didn’t mind.

At some point it became second nature to spend all your time with Joel, it was rare to see you without each other and you weren’t surprised when you started liking the man. Joel had been cold and gruff when you had first met him, most people took one look at the man and decided it wasn’t worth the energy it would take to break through that hardened exterior but you hadn’t even given it a second thought, hadn’t been concerned with how long it’d take him to relax around you, you liked cold Joel, he snapped and glared but you liked him.

“Joel,” You began, bringing your other hand up to his, brushing your thumb across his knuckles before pulling his fingers off your wrist, Joel not resisting and you figured maybe he was calming down now that he had you in his sights. “I’m sorry, ok? I know this isn’t a game, I know it’s dangerous but I had to see.”

“Yeah I know you did.” Joel sighed and brought his hand back up to cup the back of your head as he pulled you into his chest and you didn’t hesitate to cuddle into him, finally feeling your heart rate settle. “Is it what you thought it’d be?”

“It’s quieter than I thought,” you told him, pulling back only far enough so that you look up at him questioningly. “It’s weird too, I remember the streets were never quiet and now it’s deadly silent. I remember being in here during exam season and every seat was filled, even if people didn’t speak there was always noise, the turning of a book, somebody coughing, the scratching of pen against paper. The world really ended Joel.”

“You’re alright.” Joel assured as he pulled you back into his chest, wrapping his other arm around your shoulder and it was only then you noticed the tears slipping down your cheeks. It had hit you long ago, the reality of the world, but seeing it again after years of comfortable living seemed to shake you more than you thought it would. “You’re alright, Y/N/N.”

You nodded against his chest and wrapped your arms around his waist, taking a deep breath as you composed yourself. It wasn’t long before you were pulling back and looking around the library. Chairs and tables had been flipped, books and loose pages scattered across the floor whilst leaves and moss covered most of the surfaces.

“We should go.” Joel murmured but you shook your head, turning to look back at him with pleading eyes and he sighed before you could even speak. “One look around and then we go, stay close to me.”

“Thank you, Joel.” You said softly after a moment of silence and watched as he swallowed before he nodded at you and gestured for you to follow him.

Your fingers lightly traced the book shelves, somehow even after twenty years you were still able to find your way around, old, worn signs telling you you had remembered right.

“I used to study back here all the time, me and my friends would work on our papers and prepare for finals.” You told Joel and out of the corner of your eyes you saw him smile softly at you. “Back then it had seemed so important, you know? Like passing those exams or getting the best marks on our papers was the difference between life and death.” You chuckled as you ran your hands along a chair. “God, looking back now we were so stupid.”

“Nobody knew this shit was comin’.” Joel told you and you nodded, looking over at him to see him leant against a bookcase that looked ready to give out.

“It doesn’t even seem real, that life all those years ago.” You frowned as you moved around the table to go down another aisle and Joel nodded, opening his mouth to say something else before you interrupted.

“Oh my god!” You exclaimed, stumbling back into Joel’s chest and he didn’t hesitate to shove you behind him, gun raised before he saw a body on the floor, blood covering him and his chest practically torn apart. “What the hell-”

“Shh.” Joel shushed you, turning around to face you even as his wide eyes focused on everything but you, like he was looking for something.

“Joel-” You whispered but he shushed you again and you felt genuine fear fill you, your stomach dropped and you blood ran cold as you went to look around but Joel stopped you.

“Eyes on me, baby.” He murmured, keeping his voice soft and low, barely audible and you didn’t even have time to appreciate how good him calling you baby sounded as you took a deep breath and turned back to Joel with wide, scared eyes. “I need you to trust me, there’s no time to explain, just do everything I say and you’ll be safe.”

“Joel,” You whimpered and Joel cupped your cheek, bringing your foreheads together as he shushed you once more.

“I know you’re scared, baby, I know,” Joel whispered and you felt your eyes fill with tears. Joel was looking back at you and though he tried to hide it you could see he was scared and if something scared Joel you knew it had to be bad. “We have to be silent now, no more talking, trust me, I’m gonna get you home.”

You nodded and Joel wiped away the single tear that slid down your cheek, before he placed a soft kiss to your forehead and pulled away.

‘Stay behind me.’ Joel mouthed at you and you nodded, practically gluing yourself to his back as he moved, both of you stopping dead in your tracks as an inhuman sound came from behind one of the book cases. You felt your heart stutter as you looked at Joel but his focus was on the direction the noise came from before he turned to look at you.

‘Quiet.’ He reminded you and you nodded, biting your lip hard enough to draw blood to stop any sound from escaping. He tilted his head and you nodded again, keeping half a step behind him as you held your breath.

Just as you turned a corner you gasped but Joel turned and managed to cover your mouth just in time like he had been expecting the reaction. In front of you was, you couldn’t even describe it, it was monstrous, how that had once been human was mind blowing. Tears slid down your cheeks as Joel kept your mouth covered and the thing made its way towards the two of you causing you to screw your eyes shut.

You looked up at Joel when he tapped your cheek and Joel made a gesture where he pointed towards the clicker before he covered his eyes and mouthed ‘they can’t see’ before pointing to his ear ‘they go off sound’. You nodded and Joel removed his hand, watching how your face scrunched up in an effort to slow the tears and suppress any sobs.

He had to get you out of here, it was the only thought in his head as he kept himself between you and the clicker, making sure each step was silent. You’d managed a good few steps before the thing stopped dead in its tracks and turned sharply to face you and you couldn’t stop the sharp intake of breath, that was enough for the thing to launch itself at the two of you.

Joel barely caught it, keeping his arm under its chin to avoid being bitten as he tried to get a good shot on his gun whilst also keeping one eye on you.

“Get out of here!” He yelled at you and he could see you frozen in fear. “Y/N, baby, you gotta go now!”

“I can’t leave you!” You called back and the clicker responded to the noise, trying to fight its way to you but Joel kept his grip on it somehow.

“Y/N I promise I’ll be right behind you!” He grunted as he tried to force the clicker back. “You gotta go!”

You waited another second before nodding and he watched you go with a sigh of relief, finally able to throw the clicker to the side. It only stayed on the floor for a second before it snapped back up and lunged at Joel.

Joel shot at it four times, each time missing its head with how much it was moving. Joel managed to shove it back down on the floor and shoot its chest before running the way you had gone, hiding behind one of the book cases and keeping as silent as possible. In the distance he saw you crouched behind one of the tables and took a silent breath as he peered around to see where the clicker was, the thing was up again and moving through the aisles, thankfully going the other way.

Joel stayed silent as he made his way over to you and saw you with your knees drawn to your chest and your eyes screwed shut. He lightly touched your knee and silently shushed you as your eyes flew open.

He pointed to where the clicker had walked off to and saw the gun clutched in your hands, gently prying it from you and seeing how much ammo you had.

‘You, go out the door, wait.’ He mouthed to you, motioning between you and the door before he watched as you shook your head. He nodded back at you before pointing to himself, raising the two guns he held. ‘I’ll distract it, you go.’

‘Joel,’ you mouthed and he could practically hear your pleading town as more tears slid down your cheeks. ‘I’m sorry.’

Joel just shook his head, you weren’t doing this now, right now he had to get you out of here and then he would deal with everything else. You weren’t going to die today, he wouldn’t let it happen.

‘Go baby.’ He mouthed and gestured for the door, watching as you took a breath, your mouth thinning into a line as you choked back sobs before you nodded at him. He cupped your cheek and you brought your hand up to his, hesitating for a moment before leaning forward.

It wasn’t exactly a kiss, both of you were too focused on being silent for it to be more than a brushing of your lips together but Joel pulled you closer anyway and held you against him for a second longer before he pulled back and brushed his thumb across your cheek bone.

‘Go.’ He mouthed again and this time you nodded more confidently as you stood silently and Joel followed after you, the two of you parting ways so Joel could grab the clicker before it got to you.

He knew how fast these things moved and if he had gone with you the door wouldn’t have even been able to open before it was attacking you, at least this way he could be sure you were out of the door and far away from this damn thing.

The two of you looked at each other and Joel nodded at you, he watched you take a breath before your hand touch the door knob and turned it, the sound causing the clicker to let out a loud noise that had Joel lunging for it before it could take more than a step in your direction. He wrestled the thing, trying to shove it as far away from the door as possible and out of the corner of his eye he watched as you left, finally able to breathe a sigh of relief as he focused on the clicker.

It felt like hours before Joel managed to shove it to the floor, sweat pooling at his forehead as he shot both guns, using up all the rounds before he watched the thing finally lay lifeless, not movements coming from it. He took a moment to lean against the wall and catch his breath before he turned his head to the door.

After a few more seconds he made his way out of the building and scanned the area for you, frowning when he didn’t see you but the frown left as you peaked your head out from behind a car. In a few large steps Joel was pulling you into his chest and you were sobbing as you held onto him like he was your life line.

Joel’s hand rested on the back of your head as he held you up, his arms holding you close to him and he could feel your fingers digging into his back as you choked out apologies. Joel just kept shushing you as you continued to apologise, he knew he needed to move the two of you, he had no ammo left and the dark was starting to set in but he wanted to make sure you were ok first.

“Hey,” Joel said, pulling back and tilting your chin so you could look at him, he didn’t speak as he wiped gently at your cheeks, leaving his hands there as he spoke. “You have nothing to apologise for, alright? You needed to see for yourself what it was like out here, I get it Y/N/N, I do but you’re alright, I promise.”

“I should’ve listened to you Joel.” You sniffed and he smiled softly at you.

“You got an idea in your head, I should’ve known there was no stopping you.” He said and you let out a wet chuckle. “I’m not mad at you, we’re both alright.” Those words made your eyes widen and you pulled back abruptly causing him to frown.

“Are you?” You asked, tugging his sleeves up and inspecting it for bites before moving the collar of his shirt and checking there too. Joel chuckled as he caught your wrists in his hands, more gently than he had earlier and shushed you.

“I’m okay, promise.” He told you and your eyes ran up and down him before you sagged in relief, trusting that he’d tell you if he wasn’t. “Now will you please let me get you home?”

“Please.” You practically begged and Joel smiled softly at you before gesturing for you to follow him though there was no need to really, Joel’s arm was still wrapped around your shoulder and you had practically attached yourself to his side.

It was well into the night by the time the two of you got home, having Joel with you made it easier to sneak in and it wasn’t long before you were quietly entering his apartment. The walk home had been mostly silent, your thoughts running a mile a minute and Joel content with the silence and the feeling of you in his arms to tell him you were ok, that you were alive.

“Go clean up and change.” Joel told you as he closed the door and set his backpack down before moving to take yours off for you and then gently pulling your jacket off.

You didn’t say anything, just smiled over at him before moving into his bedroom and pulling out one of his shirts before shuffling into the bathroom. It was only a few moments later he heard the shower running and let himself collapse into the sofa, suddenly feeling drained now that he had gotten you back to safety.

He knew you were too damn curious for your own good, knew that you needed to see the world for yourself. He should have known you’d have gone out there with or without him, hell some part of him had known and that’s why he checked your apartment at five in the morning before marching back to his room and packing his gun, desperately hoping you hadn’t gone and got yourself killed.

Any of the initial anger he had felt seeing you gone had worn off long before he found you and now he could only feel relief. He knew you were terrified, the last time you had seen clickers up close was when the outbreak started, you’d told him about the bombs in the city and being scared at how fast the things were but this was different, this was twenty years of evolution.

Joel sighed and lay down on the sofa, throwing an arm over his eyes. You were fine, the clicker hadn’t gotten near you and he had got you home safe. He could hear the shower running and knew you’d be out any minute, dressed in his shirt and ready to fall asleep in his arms.

That thought sent his mind back to the kiss. God, it hadn’t even been more than a small brushing of the lips but God, it had left him breathless. He knew you liked him, he wasn’t stupid. At this point you had practically moved into his apartment, the two of you spent more nights asleep together in his bed than you’d slept in your own bed since being here. He just couldn’t put himself in a position to get hurt again but today had shown him how even if he went the rest of his life without telling you how he felt he knew if anything happened to you it’d kill him, so why not at least make the most of the time he had with you.

He didn’t mean to drift off, one second he was just resting his eyes and the next he was blinking awake when he felt something shift next to him. He forced his eyes open and looked down to see you had pushed yourself into the small space between him and the sofa, your body more on him really, and a blanket thrown over the two of you. Your hand gently ran across his chest before you lay it flat against him and cuddled into him.

Joel brought his arm around you and you glanced up at him with tired eyes but still smiled at him and he couldn’t help but return the gesture before he placed a soft kiss to your head.

“Go to sleep, baby.” He murmured and watched as your smile widened, eyes lighting up now that you were safe and could enjoy the way the pet name sounded coming from Joel’s lips.

“Does you calling me baby mean you’re ready to tell me you love me?” You asked, tone light and joking so that Joel didn’t freak out.

“Sure does.” Joel said back, your eyes widening and smile dropping when his tone stayed even and serious, his lips twitching upwards as he looked at your expression. He had thought on the way home how he could tell you and hadn’t come up with anything but you had given him an opening and he decided it didn’t need to be a big deal. He knew how he felt about you and now you knew too. “Go to sleep, baby.”

“Yeah,” You said, still looking up at him in disbelief before your lips pulled into a wide smile and you reached up to cup his cheek before pulling him into a kiss.

The angle wasn’t great for it but that didn’t matter as Joel kissed you back, the kiss soft but filled with lots of pent up emotions but there was no rush, the two of you were home and safe and had each other and plenty of time.

When Joel pulled away he couldn’t help but smile down at you, your eyes stayed closed for a few seconds longer before they fluttered open and you smiled back at him.

“God baby, I’ve wanted to do that for years.” Joel told you, causing you to laugh because he could have done that years ago and you wouldn’t have had any complaints. Despite how badly Joel wanted to keep kissing you, hell he could have spent the whole night like that quite happily, he could see the tiredness in your eyes and could feel his own exhaustion pulling at him so instead he pulled you into his chest and wrapped the blanket around you both tightly before pressing a lingering kiss to your head.

“Get some rest now, baby.” He murmured into your hair and felt you nod against his chest, fingers curling into his shirt as you let your eyes fall closed.

The room was silent except for the sounds of your breathing and Joel had thought you had drifted off until you spoke again, your voice was soft, barely above a whisper but you needed to say it before you fell asleep.

“I love you too.” Joel grinned down at you and kissed your head again, whispering the words back once more before he finally felt you relax fully against him as you fell asleep.

He found it quite easy to follow after you, heart light as the confessions were finally out in the open after years of skilfully avoiding talking about your feelings. His fears from earlier were gone now that you were home and safe in his arms and he swore to himself he would protect you from whatever else the world threw your way.

__________

Joel Miller Taglist (Click the link in my bio to add yourself!) -

@avengersfan25​, @happycupcakeenthusiast​, @cilliansangel​

Thank you so much for reading!🖤

#joel miller #joel miller x reader #joel miller imagine #joel miller imagines #joel miller fanfiction #tlou #tlou joel #tlou x reader #tlou imagine #tlou imagines #tlou fanfic #the last of us #hbo the last of us #the last of us x reader #the last of us imagine #the last of us imagines #no spoilers for episode 1 or 2

[mushrubes]

Lose you

Masterlist | TLOU Masterlist |

Requested : yes!

Pairing : Ellie Williams x (she/her) reader (tiny use of Y/n)

Type : angst + fluff :)

Content : Slightly canon divergent, time skips, swearing, angst, happy ending <3

Word count : 7.4k

Ellie deserves the world <3

I tried my best to stay accurate so my bad if it goes off haha

———————————————

She opened the door, looking down before up again, pointing her flashlight directly down the narrow hall. Your father’s hand was in front of you, slightly restraining you from following your mother. “Stay close to me.” he ordered as he gently pushed you forward so you were in between them, making sure you were protected from both the front and the back. No matter how long it had been, it still felt abnormally weird when you were in the situations, almost as if it was a fever dream as you saw the bodies on the floor. In all fairness, you didn’t know any different, with being born five years into the outbreak - however there was just something morally wrong that didn’t sit right with you. 

“Batteries no good.” Tess sighed as she crouched down, looking at the rusty box and the dead man beside. “And he still tried to sell it. Twice, you greedy fuck.” she said in disbelief. A sound further down the hallway made you uneasy, immediately backing into your dad whose hands where pressed protectively around you. Tess stood up, taking you to the side as Joel moved forward, his gun clutched tightly in his hand as he took slow and steady steps to where the noise was coming from. The sound become more frequent, followed along with some whispering as Joel peered around the corner, seeing two figures a bit further down. 

You looked up at your mother, a scared look on your face which broke her heart to see. She squeezed your shoulders, sending you a comforting smile as she desperately tried to convince herself it was okay, staying strong for you. He continued down before a door to his left opened, a girl with a knife in her hands raised, ready to stab him. Luckily, he took a step back in time, flinging her to the side quickly. She landed on the floor with a grunt, panting as she glared up at the figure looming over her. “Dad!” you gasped, running forward slightly as Tess pulled you back. “I’m okay, darlin’” he assured, smiling at you before going stern again. 

“Joel?” one of the figures further down called, recognising the older male who was watching the girl in front of him in confusion. From what he could see, she was most likely around your age, possibly a year off, with her hair in a neat ponytail and a slightly dirty grey raglan t-shirt. “Marlene?” Joel asked, lowering the gun as she turned her gaze to the girl too. “Are you okay?” she asked, watching as the young girl nodded. “Yeah.” she got out in between pants, reaching for her knife and glaring as Joel didn’t step off it. 

“Ellie.” Marlene spoke, lowering her hand as she looked between the two in confusion. She looked to her left, her eyes settling on you and Tess. A feeling she couldn’t describe filled her as she locked eyes with you, clearing her throat. Her attention turned back to Marlene as she called her name, this time not missing the hand that was on her side, on top of a blood-stained patch. “Oh shit.” she gasped, scrambling to stand. “No, it’s okay, I’ll be alright.” Marlene assured, picking up on her distress. “You can’t be stupid like this.” she lectured, Ellie grimacing. 

“So, this is who Robert screwed us over with. The Che Guevara of Boston.” Tess spoke up, you nudging her side slightly, silently pleading for her not to make this any worse than it already was. You stood there awkwardly as the two ladies had a passive aggressive conversation while Ellie was still glaring at Joel. “Give me my knife.” she demanded, still trying to pry it from underneath his shoe as he refused to move. “What do you need a car battery for?” Joel sneered, making you groan as he also got involved, catching Ellie’s attention. The two of you shared a confused gaze, partly from what was going on and also because neither of you had really seen another child around. 

Ellie went to grab her knife as Joel moved quicker, pointing the gun back down at her. “Not at her. Point it at me.” Marlene defended, aiming hers at him in retaliation. Tess did the same, standing in front of you. You moved around, glaring at your parents before taking a few steps forward, going to help Ellie up before Joel moved you. “Don’t touch her, remember what we said?” he instructed as you stepped back, making an ‘o’ with your lips and nodding, forgetting she could be infected. “You’re scaring her.” you mumbled as you saw her sat flat against the wall, hands up as she gazed at the weapon. 

“To answer your question, I need it for a better reason than you do, no offense but Tommy’s just one man.” Marlene answered, making Joel go stiff at the mention of the name. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion at the name, remembering you had been told about a ‘uncle tommy’. “It’s our business to know things.” she carried on, misreading the multiple emotions going through Joel at the thought of his younger brother. “To know things? You’re the cause of it, you turned my own brother against me.” he argued, his voice wavering slightly. 

“We’re going to move Ellie out of the zone tonight, but we won’t make it anywhere like this, not for a while anyway, so now I’m thinking you’re gonna do it.” Marlene spoke, getting objection from all four people involved, all of them speaking up at once. “The hell we are.” Joel scoffed, looking back at you and Tess. “I’m not going to go with them!” Ellie argued, glaring at the family and missing the frown on your face. “We don’t have time for this.” Joel continued, looking back at Tess who confirmed. “Oh, you don’t have time?” Marlene spoke up. “Who is she?” Tess asked, unsure of it herself.

The two girls were left watching the adult’s bicker, looking between them both. “She’s cargo.” the lady confirmed, leaving Joel to groan once again, shaking his head. “We don’t smuggle people, I’m sorry.” Joel retaliated, watching as her gaze moved to you. “Who’s she then?” she copied, seeing his gaze harden. “She’s our daughter!” Tess answered for him, Joel avoiding the eyes on him as he was aware what they would bring up. The adults all bickered for a few minutes before eventually calming down. “There’s a team of fireflies waiting for her at the old state house. I know what’s out there, we were going with an entire squadron for that very reason. But now I don’t have a truck, I don’t have a squadron, Fedra’s five minutes away and what I do have is you. And I know what you’re both capable of.” she explained, gesturing to both you and the fighting. 

“What are they capable of?” Ellie wondered, smiling slightly as she heard a chuckle from you. “You get her there safely, we’ll give you what you need, not just a battery - the whole thing. A fuelled-up truck, gun supplies, everything. I swear.” she bargained, Joel’s expression not changing the slightest as he took in the information. He looked at Tess who tilted her head, grabbing your shoulders gently. “Come on, they’ll catch up.” she assured as you walked around the corner with her. Joel slid the knife away with his foot as she reached for it. “Asshole!” Ellie grumbled, glaring up at him. 

“You trust her?” Tess asked, Joel coming over to talk it out as he pulled you into a hug. “No, me neither, but she seems desperate.” Tess debated, knowing why he was struggling. You zoned out, thoughts and ‘what ifs’ filling your mind as they tried coming to an agreement. “You guys can talk it out but please remember that I’m bleeding out.” Marlene called, the two nodding as they thought of what to do. “Okay, here’s the deal. We’ll get her to your crew at state house, but before we hand her over they give us everything that we want. If not, we kill her there and then.” Tess demanded, Marlene nodding in agreement. 

“Really?” Ellie asked in astonishment, looking between the groups. “That fast?!” she continued, not getting the message. “You are all that matters, our team will not jeopardise that. Remember what I told you? Now go get your backpack. Now, Ellie.” she demanded, the girl getting up and rushing into the room in front, gathering her stuff. “Let’s go.” Tess spoke, Joel nodding at Ellie to follow before sending Marlene one last look and grabbing your hand, following behind them.

----

“Don’t move!” the men ordered, both Joel and Tess raising their arms as they glared at the figure. Ellie and you stood in between, your arms raised as Ellie stood there confused. “Raise your arms.” you whispered, as she nodded, taking a deep breath. “You’ve gotta be shittin’ me.” the man stated as he pulled his visor up, the group lowering their arms slightly. “Okay, let’s talk this out.” Joel tried to bargain, stepping forward. “Turn around, get on your fuckin’ knees.” he continued as Joel got nervous. “Now hold on-” he continued, staying calm for the girls. 

“Just get on your knees.” Tess sighed, following the orders as the rest of you did the same, stopping the man’s constant moaning. “Listen, you let us do this run, we’ll split the parts with you.” she offered, Joel looking at you worriedly as he saw you shake. The bickers continued, now kneeling in the rain with hands on your heads and eyes forward. You and Ellie shared looks, unsure of what was going on and the reasoning going between the adults. You noticed a scanner of some kind, scanning each one of you as he walked past. Ellie was in between you and your parents, probably not helping with the nerves that were already consuming you.

When it was her turn, she screamed, turning behind and stabbing her knife into his knee, causing him to shout in pain. Joel immediately got up and stood in front of you, not thinking twice which earned a glare from your mother who was now in front of Ellie. “We can fix this.” he said, turning between Ellie and the man. “Move.” he repeated over and over again, Joel in an almost sort of stance, concerning you. “Dad?” you called out, worried about what was happening. Tess picked up on it almost instantly, trying to help him out. The man pointed his gun at you, Joel groaning before lunging at him, tackling him to the ground, before getting on top of him and punching him repeatedly in the face. 

Both yours and Ellies eyes widened as you felt yourselves freeze to the spot, unable to remove your gaze from the scene in front. Tess moved to see the scanner red, Ellie’s eyes widening as she saw it had scanned her. “Joel!” Tess dragged out, a few seconds later the man pulling you away from her. “I’m not sick! I’m not sick, look! This is three weeks old; nobody lasts more than a day.” Ellie defended, pulling her sleeve out and showing Tess. “That’s the same as...” your mother paused, referring to the mark that had appeared on your arm about a week ago. You watched your dad in concern as he gazed as his bloodied fist, lost in thought. 

“We gotta move, dad.”

----

“Tess, what are you doing?” he asked as he saw her looking around, turning away from you and Ellie. “Where did Marlene say she was taking you?” she asked Ellie, striding around the place. “Uhm, I don’t know. Just West.” she answered honestly, you placed a hand on her arm, sending her a sympathetic smile as your mother mumbled under her breath. “Okay, well, I mean one of them gotta have a map on them, right?” she rambled, searching some of them. “Joel, can you help me?” she barked, looking around frantically. 

“No. Tess, it’s over. We are going home.” he ordered, walking over to her as she looked back. “It’s not my fucking home!” she snapped, causing you to wince as you watched your parents bicker. A silence swept over, you stood nervously picking at your hands. “I’m staying. I mean, our luck had to run out sooner or later.” she exposed, catching your attention as you struggled to breath for air. No, no, it couldn’t be. There was no way - not your family. You were always so careful, always so safe. 

“Fuck...” Ellie mumbled, stepping closer to you and grabbing your hand, intertwining hers with yours. “She’s infected.” she finished, Joel looking at the pair of you and back at her. “Show me.” Joel demanded, Ellie letting go to let you walk over. As Tess stepped forward, he instantly put a hand in front of you, forcing you to step back with him. His stoic face not even changing as Tess’ softened with tears. She moved her shirt and hair back, revealing it to the pair of you. “Take your bandages off.” she told the girls who complied, not wanting to cause more problems. 

“Look.” she whispered, walking over to Ellie and then you and taking your arms in her hands, holding it out. “This is real. This is fucking real. I need you to get her to Bill and Franks, they’ll take her off your hands.” she rambled as Joel shook his head vigorously, looking back at you. “I’m not putting her in danger.” he barked back, making it clear what his priority was. “No, no, no, I can’t take her. They’re not going to take her.” he argued but she wouldn’t give in to his arguments. “They will, because you’re going to convince them. Yes, you will...I...never ask you for anything, not to feel the way I feel, not to shut the fuck up because I don’t have time.” she continued.

“This is your chance. You get her there; you keep her alive and you set everything right. And take sweets as well.” she ordered; your sobs now harder as you heard your childhood nickname. “Not her.” he argued, disagreeing in giving you as well. “Please say yes, Joel.” she pleaded before Ellie screamed, stepping forward as the corpse moved. “Oh fuck!” she grumbled, grabbing onto you as you pulled her beside you. Joel stepped forward, shooting it in the head. 

Silence filled the room before shouts were heard outside, Joel jogging over and pushing the door open slightly, seeing the hoard of infected heading for them. “How many?” Tess asked, as he quickened his pace, grabbing onto the girls. “All of them.” he replied, looking around for a solution. Tess grabbed the gun on the floor, using it to bust open the barrel and moving it, spilling the contents onto the floor. “Ma, what are you doing?” you asked, now terrified of the situation. “Making sure they don’t follow you.” she replied, busting open another and doing the same. “Sweets, I love you.” she called as she threw the box of grenades, leaving them laying on the floor. “

“Joel, save who you can save.” she pleaded, the lovers taking one last gaze of each other’s faces and Tess shutting her eyes as he swiftly grabbed both yours and Ellie’s arms, pulling you along. “No!” Ellie huffed, trying to pull herself from his grip. “Mom! No, dad, please!” you tried to argue, knowing deep down there was no other way but that was your mother for God’s sake. “We can’t leave her!” you and Ellie both shouted, punching his back and arms as he continued pulling you both forward, not allowing either of you to look back. 

The door slammed, informing Tess that you had all left, the only sound filling the room being her pants of air, trying to somewhat calm down as the shouts from outside got louder, now approaching her quicker. She grabbed the lighter in her pocket, taking steps back from the door as she desperately tried to light it. The main door burst open, infected rushing in before she got a stable flame. Nerves overtook her as she backed into the pillar. Her panting increased as the flame stopped, locking eyes with one infected who had found her, now approaching her.

 The infected had already latched onto her, giving her the kiss of death as she stood frozen, her impending doom now moments away as memories flashed through her head - meeting Joel, giving birth to you - the light of her life, the apple of her eye, the reason her and Joel kept going every day. At the last second, the lighter worked, a stable flame present as it dropped from her hand, igniting the liquid on the floor and engulfing the building and everything in it. No matter how fucked up the world had gotten, she had her family who she eternally loved, and nothing could ever replace it.

Joel had managed to get the pair of you a few feet away before it blew, the sound of windows exploding making all of you flinch. “No! Mom, please!” you screamed, Joel pulling you back and holding you in his arms as he stopped you from running into the area, his grip on you tightening. “I’ve got you baby, I love you. Your ma loves you.” he mumbled, trying to comfort you as both your stream of tears and his drenched his shirt. Ellie watched the scene unfold, her eyes welling up as she’d forever be grateful for Tess and all she did for her, allowing her to come in the first place. She held back the urge to hug you two, deciding it would be best to leave you be.

But nothing could help fix the everlasting hole now in the family.

----

“You need to get some sleep.” Joel mumbled, pressing a kiss too your forehead as you finished up your food. You hadn’t eaten much, but it was understandable considering what had happened in the last forty eight hours. “So should you.” you grunted, Joel taking a deep sigh, aware you didn’t mean to be rude and to be fair, it couldn’t be helped. “I’m staying up to watch over you two, go join her. Please?” Joel sighed, looking over at where Ellie was currently laying her sleeping back out. You grunted before getting up, hugging him and wishing him goodnight before walking over to the other girl.

“How are you feeling?” Ellie asked softly, moving her backpack so you had more space for your sleeping bag. “Honestly? Still like shit.” you chuckled as she looked at you sympathetically. The pair of you settled down in the sleeping bags, turning the light off, the only illuminated area being the porch where Joel was still sat. “Hey, uh, I know you’ve got your dad and we’ve...we’re not that close but if you need someone to talk to...” Ellie offered, a small smile on your face. The familiar butterflies filled your stomach, unsure of why but keeping it to yourself.

“Thank you, Ellie. You too.”

----

“Just looking for my brother, nothing more.” Joel answered honestly, his hands up in the air as you and Ellie copied, staying quiet. A lady rode forward, stopping a bit in front of him on her horse. “What’s your name?” she asked, looking at him in curiosity. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion as he tried to figure out if he knew her. “Joel.” he responded, watching as her eyes widened slightly, looking at him and then the girls.

----

The slightly stiff wooden gate was pulled open, allowing the hoard of people on horses into the secluded area. “What is this place?” Ellie asked, looking over at you next to her. “I have no idea.” you responded, looking back at your dad who wasn’t listening. She had her own horse while your dad had insisted you shared one with him, ignoring your attempts of bargaining to allow you to ride with Ellie. The two of you had gotten closer over the past few weeks and it hadn’t gone past Joel. He’d seen the pair of you hanging out more, the slightly lingering looks and unspoken conversations you’d have through eyes. He’d noticed how you’d laugh and smile around her more and occasionally go all shy when she’d said something to you that he couldn’t hear - it made the fear inside him grow even bigger. And with no one else to ask about this, it was driving him crazy.

You followed his line of sight, settling on the male who looked similar, guessing that it was your uncle. You had never met him, you remember being told you were a baby when he had left your parents, having enough of the way they lived their lives. “Tommy!” Joel shouted, raising his hand as he tried to get his attention. The younger brother looked over, his face softening instantly and wasting no time in scrambling down the ladder, making his way over. Joel did the same, jumping off before helping you down and meeting his brother halfway. You helped Ellie down, who intertwined her hand with yours and squeezed it comfortingly, standing behind Joel. 

A slight chuckle escaped Ellie as she watched him hug Tommy, a tight grip on him evident. It made you frown as you saw the hurt in her eyes, knowing that she never really saw your dad be affectionate to anyone but you and he hadn’t seen his brother in years but wasn’t afraid to. “The fuck you doing here?” Tommy asked, bewildered that his brother was there in his home. He looked around, taking it all in. “I came here to save you.” Joel joked slightly, laughing as Tommy did the same, bringing him in for another hug. You wrapped your arm around Ellie, trying to comfort her. It only lasted a few seconds before Joel had pulled away, turning to face you with Tommy. 

----

“There’s more if you need it.” The lady assured as the three of you sat eating food, grateful for a decent meal again. “Thank you, Ma’am.” Joel responded, nodding his head. “It’s been a while since we’ve had a proper meal.” he explained, Ellie interrupting. “Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever had a proper meal, this is fucking amazing.” she answered, getting an elbow to the side from you and a glare from Joel. He looked back at the two, apologising for her language. “Ellie, let’s mind our manners.” he reminded as you looked at Tommy who smiled at you. “What?” Ellie called, watching a girl peer around a pillar and watch you all, backing away when Ellie called her out. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Joel questioned, confused as to why Ellie was acting like that. “What about her manners?” she bit back as you continued eating, not wanting to get involved. “She was just curious.” The lady assured, trying to help calm Ellie down. “Kids around here don’t normally look or talk like you.” she admitted, Ellie nodding her head. “Right, well maybe I’ll teach them.” she commented, earning a snort from you. “And I want my gun back.” she spoke, Tommy watching the interaction in amusement. “They also aren’t armed.” she spoke calmly, which annoyed Ellie even more. 

“You know what, I think maybe y’all got off on the wrong foot.” Tommy spoke carefully as Joel watched. “She was gonna have her guys kill us.” you defended, Ellie giving you a grateful look and a disapproving look from Joel. “We gotta be real careful about who we let in this place. It’s all bark, we’re just trying to scare off those who might wanna try us, that’s all.” he informed, understanding the girls’ outbreaks. You zoned out, letting the group all talk, too consumed by your loud thoughts. 

----

You and Ellie followed along, not really paying attention to the tour of the town and just keeping up. “Let’s just run off or something.” Ellie huffed, earning a laugh from you. “As if. Could you imagine my dad’s reaction?” you reminded, knowing he’d freak out even here if you were out of his sight. “Can you teach me how?” you both grinned as Tommy said something about shooting, catching your attention. “No, he can’t.” Joel answered straight away, not giving his brother a chance. You rolled your eyes and Ellie groaned. “Can’t do anything around here.” Ellie grumbled as you made a sound of agreement, knowing exactly how she feels. “That’s what he’s been like since I was born.” you sighed. You loved your dad dearly but he never let you do anything, claiming it was too dangerous or some other excuse. 

“This place actually fucking works.” Ellie stated, shaking her head in disbelief as you all walked over to the farms. “Hey Joel, check it.” she called before imitating a sheep, earning a laugh from you. Ellie connected her hand with yours, swinging your arms as you both walked. “Sooo are you like, in charge?” she asked, turning to Maria. “No one personally is in charge, I’m on the council. Democratically elected, serving three hundred people including children. Everyone pitches in, we rotate patrols, food prep, repairs, hunting.” she went on, basically saying everything was shared between the community. 

“No way!” you gasped, jogging over to the horse. Ellie followed behind, Joel’s pace speeding up. “That’s our newest one, a few months old. Her name’s shimmer.” Maria told them as they stroked the horse’s head. You and Ellie stood stroking and pressing your heads to the horse, giggling as it’s wet nose rubbed against you. “She’s beautiful.” you sigh, reaching and stroking her mane again. “She is.” Ellie agreed, however her eyes weren’t lingering on the horse, instead they were on you.

----

Love will abide

Take things in stride

Maria had left about half an hour ago, leaving you and Ellie in the house while Joel was still out with Tommy, ‘catching up’. You had found a cassette player in the house, searching through stuff in your bag as you looked for the tapes your dad had placed in there, some a gift from Bill and Frank and some of his own he was able to recover. “What are you doing?” Ellie asked as she watched you in curiosity. “Playing music.” you shrugged, putting the cassette in and hearing the familiar tune of ‘Long, long time’. You turned to Ellie with a mischievous smile as her face dropped. “Dance with me.” you grinned, holding a hand out. She shook her head frantically as laughter spilled from your lips.

Sounds like good advice

But there's no one at my side

“No, absolutely not. I don’t know how to.” Ellie tried to defend, sitting on the sofa as you rolled your eyes playfully. “I don’t either. Come on, please?” you pleaded, as Ellie looked at you, debating to herself as she sighed, getting up and taking your hand. Your arms hand wrapped around each other as you clumsily swayed side to side. Your head was buried in her neck as she rubbed her hands up and down your back, taking in the moment. It was very rarely you were able to just relax so you took the chance, savouring the moment. You looked up, seeing her look at you with a lovestruck smile, reminding you of how you used to see your dad look at your mother sometimes. 

And time washes clean love's wounds unseen

That's what someone told me

“You okay?” she asked, carefully cupping your face as she saw it soften, a bittersweet smile plastered on it. “Yeah. You just remind me of how I used to see my parents - before he got all moody.” you half joked, mocking your dad and earning a chuckle from her. “What about you? You look like you’ve got something on your mind.” you spoke up, watching as she went silent again something engulfing her mind. “I...uh...promise you won’t leave me?” she asked, making you confused. “El, I literally can’t.” you reminded, taking her words a bit too literally. “No, like...like you won’t ignore me and you know...stuff changes between us.” she rambled, struggling to put her words together. Nerves rose as you got concerned, her attitude scaring you.

But I don't know what it means

“I think I love you.” she whispered, not meeting your gaze and looking at the ground. “I love you too, you’re my best friend.” you answered, not understanding what she was saying at first. “No, like...you know...” she continued, you pausing for a second before understanding, cheeks heating up. “Oh.” you mumbled, Ellie rocking on her feet without realising. “I think I love you too.” you responded honestly, a genuine look in your eyes. “You do?” she gaped, taken aback from the confession. “Why wouldn’t I?” you asked, frowning at the surprised look on your face. 

'Cause I've done everything I know

To try and make you mine

She sat back down on the sofa, you following behind and sitting next to her, hands intertwined with hers as your thumb brushed the back of hers, trying to comfort her. “Joel doesn’t. You heard him, I’m just cargo.” she said, her voice cracking as you frowned at her words, knowing this had been brought up because of earlier. “No, no, Ellie. Don’t listen to my dad, that’s just...him. I would do anything for you.” you admitted, your cheeks heating up yet again as she finally met your gaze, a small smile on hers.

And I think I'm gonna love you

For a long long time

 “Really?” she questioned, watching as you nodded your head frantically. “God, yes.” you muttered, leaning in slightly as she did the same. No other words were said, except a short, small kiss was shared - being cut off by the two of you pulling away, grinning at each other as the door opened and Joel announced his arrival, completely oblivious to what had happened. 

And for the first time in a while, it felt like things were getting better. 

----

“This ride to the university, is it a suicide mission?” Joel asked, not looking at Tommy. “No. It’s dangerous but it’s nothing you can’t handle. Just prepare and do what you do.” he shrugged, confused about the doubt coming from his as Joel rarely doubting anything. “You’ve had people go that way and come back?” he continued, looking for some sort of conformation to assure him this was the right thing to do for you and Ellie. “All of them. What is this?” Tommy wondered, Joel finally looking up and meeting his eyes. “They’re immune, both of them.” Joel opened up, Tommy furrowing his eyebrows in confusion. “What?” he asked, not following along. 

“Sweets and Ellie. They got infected at some point, but they didn’t get sick. Neither of them.” he explained, making Tommy move and start pacing. “Tommy. Tommy.” he called, trying to get his attention. “I saw them get bit myself, it was months ago. They’re immune.” He assured, trying to get him to calm down as he saw the panic on his face. He moved, sitting opposite of Joel as he took a deep breath. “From the beginning.” he demanded, wanting to know the full story as Joel thought. 

“For Ellie, it was Marlene. She hired us to smuggler her to some fireflies. It went bad, Tess got bit. She made me swear to take the kids. It was her dying wish, the hell was I supposed to do? We made it as far as K.C and then, you know, they saved my life there, from another kid.  Five years ago, I would’ve destroyed him but they had to shoot them to save me. Fourteen years old. Because I was too slow and too fuckin’ deaf to hear him coming.” he recalled, voice wavering. “I saw...I saw a man kill his own brother to save them, while I just watched. And today I thought that dog was gonna tear them apart because it smelt something on them, and all I did was stand there. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t think of anything. I was just so...I was so afraid.” he opened up.

“You think I can still handle things but I’m not who I was. I’m weak. There are these moments where fear comes up out of nowhere and, my heart, it feels like it stopped.” he paused, taking a deep breath. “And I have dreams. Every night.” he added, Tommy looking up. “What kind of dreams?” he questioned, wanting to help his brother. “I don’t know. I can’t remember, I just know when I wake up, ‘ve lost something. I’m failing in my sleep. It’s all I do, it’s all I’ve ever done, is failure. Again, and again, and again.” he said, his voice turning into a whisper.

“You want me to take them?” Tommy asked, trying to think of other solutions but none coming to him. “Take Ellie. Not sweets, I’ll just end up getting her killed, I know it. I have to leave Ellie, and keep sweets as safe as I can. I can’t have a repeat.” he pleaded, knowing it was selfish but no matter what, after losing Sarah, after losing Tess, he swore to himself that his daughter, his second chance would be his priority, no matter what. “Joel...” Tommy started, thinking of how to word his thoughts. “I mean, that’s why you took off on me, isn’t it? To make up for the things we did? Well here’s your chance, and here’s mine - to have our kids in a better world. ” he defended, trying to persuade him. 

“And you’re younger than me, you’re still strong. You said it yourself, you’ll come back. You have to take her. And you can’t tell anyone, not even Maria. Tom, you’re the only one I trust, if anyone else sees those bites on her, what’s on her skin, they’ll shoot her. I can’t protect her like my own, I can’t put my daughter in danger for her. It’s the last thing I’ll ever ask of you, I swear.” he said, wiping his tears. “What about her? Have you asked how she feels about Ellie going with me?” Tommy asked, watching him shake his head vigorously at even the idea. “No, no, it doesn’t matter. Don’t mention it to her, I need to keep her safe.” Joel stated.

“I’ll take Ellie at dawn in two days.”

----

“He what?!” you gasped, taking in the information as Ellie collected all her stuff, putting it in her backpack. “No, no, he’s probably just in a mood-” you tried to argue as she shook her head. “He seemed pretty set on it.” she shrugged as you looked at her in shock. “You’re not going to even argue?” You suggested, knowing if he said something she’d normally try to do when she disagrees with him. “It’s not worth it.” she sighed, bringing you into a hug and rubbing her hands up and down your back. “Please...” you whispered, your eyes welling up, breaking her. “I don’t leave for another day. Wait for Joel to leave tomorrow, and we can do something for the day.” she suggested as you looked up in even more confusion. “I’m coming to?” you said, it coming out as more of a question as she realised she said something she wasn’t supposed to.

“He hasn’t told you, has he?” she mumbled, looking at you sadly as you tried to follow along. “He’s sending me to Tommy so he can take me. You’re staying here with him.” she informed, as you looked at her sadly. As she walked out the room, you followed after. “I’m coming too.” you demanded, watching as she tried to plead and Joel following after as the pair of you headed to the door. “I’ll be okay.” she assured, smiling sadly as you followed along and tried to walk out after her, Joel grabbing onto you and stopping you from leaving. “Let...me...go!” you tried to fight, struggling to get out of his grip. He tightened it, shutting the door and carrying you into the living room as you punched him in the chest. 

“I’m sorry, sweets, I’m sorry.”

----

You waited for Joel to leave, saying he has something to do today and he’ll see you later before sneaking out, making sure it wasn’t obvious. You stayed clear of the bar and the restaurant, sure that he wouldn’t see you. Unfortunately, while walking to the stable, you bumped into Maria. “Hey! What are you up to?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “I was uh...going to see Shimmer.” you half lied, hoping she wouldn’t question any further. Maria sighed, looking over and seeing Ellie stood at the side of her stable, trying to make sure no one would spot her. “You’re going to see Ellie, aren’t you?” Maria asked, you sighing and nodding at her. “At least, let me come with, I’ll say you’re with me if needed.” she suggested as you nodded.

“El!” you grinned, running over to her and almost knocking her over in a hug. She let out a grunt as she caught you, wrapping her arms around you tightly and swaying. “She’s not here to tell us off or anything, she’s helping us.” you assured as she got tense when Maria came over. “Okay.” she smiled, kissing your cheek and squeezing your hand. Maria debated, thinking of something to do for the pair of you before smiling. “Do you guys want to take Shimmer out?” she suggested, smiling as both of you gasped, nodding.

----

Maria smiled at the pair of you as she put Shimmer back in the stable, you and Ellie giggling about whatever. “Shit.” She mumbled, looking in the distance. Both yours and Ellie’s faces dropped as she saw Tommy and Joel, a bit further away but seeming to be heading to the houses. “Quick, come on.” Maria ordered, both of them following after as they went around the houses, making sure the males didn’t see them. They legged the last bit, you sneaking through the back door as Maria followed. “Ellie, stay here where he won’t see you.” she ordered, knowing he was going to go through the front door. Maria could not have been more thankful for the food she had packed in her bag, taking it out and placing it on the side as Joel walked through the door. “Play along.” she whispered.

“Hey sweet- Maria.” he said, looking at her in confusion as he didn’t expect to see them. “Joel! You’re just in time! I was bringing some food over for the two of you, I made some last night and had some left over.” she lied as you made sure not to give it away. “Thank you.” he smiled, coming over and wrapping you in a hug. “Anytime.” she nodded, winking at you before walking out of the front door. You watched slyly, hugging your dad back so he couldn’t see you watch her and Ellie head over to their house, not before Ellie waved to you and put a massive smile on your face. “Did you have a good day?” Joel asked, pulling away as you hummed in agreement.

“Yes.”

----

You had just finished your food, humming along to the song that was playing on the cassette player as you heard your dad call your name. He walked back in, the smile now replaced with a disappointed look. “Want to explain this?” he asked, holding up the coat in his hands. You felt the colour drain from your face as you realised you forgot to give Ellie her coat back before she left, having given it to you as you were out. “She must of forgotten to take it with her yesterday.” you tried to lie, but knew he wouldn’t buy it, having seen her wear it when she left the house yesterday. 

“Sweets, I told you yesterday, stay away from her. I know it’s hard, but if we go with her, I’ll be putting you in danger.” he lectured, holding his head in his hand as he took a deep breath. “And?” you shrugged, not understanding why it suddenly was a big issue now. “The point is, you’re my daughter and I can’t lose you!” he huffed, not understanding why you weren’t understanding and listening to his pleads. “And she’s my girlfriend, and I can’t lose her!” you revealed, shutting your eyes and bracing yourself for his reaction, waiting to hear him shout. But it never came. 

Instead, you were greeted by a warm embrace, his head on yours as you punched his chest once. “I deserved that.” he admitted, earning a giggle from you and a small smile on his face. “I’m sorry, sweets. I just...you’re my priority and I can’t lose you. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” he apologised as your frowned, pulling away. “It’s okay dad, I know you didn’t mean to. Can we go get El?” you asked, hopeful he’d say yes. He sighed, rubbing his neck. “Tommy told me she doesn’t want to talk to me, and I don’t blame her.” he sighed, sitting on the sofa and thinking of an idea. “I’ll tell you what...” he spoke up, catching your attention.

“We can go catch them before they leave tomorrow and she can choose who.”

----

Glancing at the time, the clock read 5:35, signalling it was time for you to put your shoes on. You peered into the living room, eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you didn’t see your dad. You checked all the other rooms, Joel being nowhere in the house. Knowing where he would be, you grabbed your stuff and making your way outside. you made your way over to the house opposite, seeing Tommy and Ellie walk out in time. They waited for you, letting you walk with them. While you and Ellie were walking, hands intertwined, Tommy saw the bag on your back, sighing as he read your mind. “Why do you have your bag?” he asked, dreading the response that was coming. “I’m coming too.” you stated, shrugging it off. 

“Kid, I would have no objections but your dad-” he started, stopping as he saw the figure already in the stall, sorting the horse out. Ellie scoffed, getting his attention. “You came here to say goodbye or something?” she asked, Joel shaking his head. “No, I came here to take one of these horses and go with sweets.” he answered, looking at the girl and ignoring the pit in his stomach. His eyes settled on your intertwined hands, raising an eyebrow. “Would of gave you one...” Tommy spoke up, Joel looking at him before back at you and Ellie sighing. “I know. Anyway, that was thirty minutes ago and I guess...you deserve a choice. I still think you’d be better off with Tommy for all-” he started, getting cut off by her. 

“Let’s go.” she stated, giving him the spare bag as she pulled you with her, stroking the horse as he turned to Tommy. He smiled at his brother knowingly and nodded his head. “Wait.” you said, turning to Ellie before walking over to the two. You didn’t say anything, instead hugging Tommy and catching him off guard slightly. “It was nice to meet you, Uncle Tommy.” you smiled softly as he grinned, ruffling your hair slightly. “It was nice to finally meet you too, kiddo. I’m sorry.” he nodded, lifting his head up and waving at Ellie. “Good luck with two Millers.” he teased, making the girl grin as Joel groaned in protest. “She’s the annoying one.” he commented, Tommy patting him on the shoulder knowingly as you brought him along with you. 

Ellie moved to the side, expecting him to help you up first and getting surprised as he hoisted her up, then you. “I’m sorry for...” he started, unsure of what to say. Ellie didn’t question it, knowing what he was trying to say and instead smiled softly at him. “It’s okay Joel.” she assured as you smiled at the two, glad the people most important to you were starting to get along better. You wrapped your arms around Ellie as Joel turned to his brother, talking about directions before they pulled each other into a hug, making you somewhat sad. As you rode away and heard the gate shut behind you, Ellie squeezed your hand, sensing the sadness. You had found your family and a safe place and already had to leave. 

But you knew it wasn’t the end, and you’d be back again soon. 

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