#tho definitley not this size....

[cowboyjen68]

hi jen! a while ago i started iding as a butch lesbian (tho i've known i was a lesbian most of my life) and i feel like its the closest thing ive gotten to feeling myself. but i always have a nagging feeling that im "not butch" enough since i was pretty feminine for a couple years before (but i was a tomboy when i was young), and im really scrawny and short compared to most butches i see.. im 17 so i know theres time, i just want to know if im not alone on this, or if you have advice in general!

I am not a big fan of the "butch enough" scale. It is one thing to joke among lesbians about a friend being "more butch" or the Alpha butch but jokes aside, in my opinion, we are either butch or we are not. Body size, abilities and strength don't really have anything to do with it. I am 5'3 at 140 lbs, so not very big myself.

At 17 I was working out a lot for volleyball and was working a manual labor job as well as mowing and helping Dad around the acreage but I was still pretty small. Before I hit puberty I was very skinny and short. Dad said we would "have to tie my legs in a knot to know where my knees were".

Being butch, to me, is more of an energy. The space we occupy coupled with the impressions of others as a secondary indicator. We don't fit the normal energy of a woman so people automatically assume "Man" instead of a masculine woman.

There is not shame nor harm in trying it out. If it doesn't fit someday, you can switch it up. Just don't get "I'm Butch" tattooed on your arm and you will be none the worse for wear if butch isn't a long term fit for you.

I definitley attempted to be more feminine breifly in high school, most to fit in and please my mom but i was so awkward I think it acutally made others feel as uncomfortable as I was going against my grain. I settled on gender neutral 1980's clothes like sweatshirts and jeans. Putting on a dress, getting my hair permed and trying to be less "boyish" (in my mom's words) did not change anything about my butchness or really even the way people saw me. They could tell I felt weird in more feminine clothing.

IF you feel a connection and relate to other women you see, like me, on the internet or in real life that means something and you should not discount that. If butch feels right and you are connected to the word by your interactions with the world and other women and your shared experience with other butches then embrace it. Allow yourself to embrace the word butch and seek a community of butches of all ages.

I just want to emphasize, being wrong and someday realizing you are not connected to the word is also okay. You aren't lying or stealing an "identity" or "faking it". You are just learning and growing and figuring it all out. Normal parts of growing up and growing older.

#butch #lesbian

[dembenchboys]

hihihi just saw you got docs and are worried theyre gonna hurt your feet. as someone who has worn docs exclusively for the that last 5 years (including everyday at a college campus with a lotttt of walking) you should be fine. Definitely wear a few pairs of socks or some thick socks when youre trying to break them in and just wear them around the house or whatever. i think the most important thing is just buying the right size, although that can be hard to do since docs dont come in half sizes. another thing you could do is tie your docs tight to your foot so they mold to the shape of your foot. dont tie them so tight to where it hurts your foot, but yeah. you could also do the hair dryer thing that people do with shoes on your docs. ive never done it, but a lot of people says it works. im pretty sure you have to have the shoes on your feet tho when youre doing it. you could also wear bandaids where you think theyre gonna rub, but i dont know if that would help you with the top of your foot. I would definitley do the multiple socks/thick socks thing since youre worried about the top of your foot

I LITERALLY LOVE YOU LIKE SO MUCH

but yes it is just tight on the top of my foot but only on the right and I think that's just because my foot is fatter there lol but i bought nike crew socks like the tall thick ones and i just put the boots when i made dinner lol

but i've broken in Blundstone before so i know about the socks lol but I'm honestly so excited to break them in lol

i also got the 1460 Pascal doc martens so there like not hard leather up top lol

[viciousviolins]

okay i dont know if im doing a right thing asking you this but... im not a hung man, but the i’ve met this wonderful girl and we hit it off. the thing is she is black and i always like due to stereotype felt like maybe it might be an issue. Things got sexual for a month now, and she is too nice to say anything but i can feel that she is not satisfied most of the time. like oral and fingering is visibly better but the penetration is an issue. i don’t know what to do!if its relevant my size(3.5-4)

HI! 

I know its hard, but don’t compare yourself to what you may or may not think her past lovers might have had to go on in the bedroom. It will do nothing productive to dwell on, and just make you miserable. Not to mention it is decently irrelevant to you yourself. 

Each new relationship is a whole new person, and depending on their feelings towards you, even if you feel you have some shortcomings (sorry I had to use that pun haha) doesn’t mean that they feel that you do. You could also have a lot of pros some big dick idiot didn’t. Focus on what you can tell is really working for her, if you have noticed fingering and oral really gets her off, GREAT, keep it up, and make sure to incorporate a whole lot of it so she’s nice and satisfied. As for your dick, try some deeper penetrating posistions, they can really make a world of difference! 

The seashell... or as I like to call it ‘holy crap I’m not that flexible.’ This one really just makes that dick feel big. You can jackhammer away and she will definitley feel something alright! (Might just be a strain in her thighs tho hahaha, kidding-ish) 

This one really hits the clit, so even if the dick isn’t fully doing the job, the angle and such really gets everything working together. Because the girls legs are open more you’re really able to get up in there. It also frees up both hands and your mouth to further intensify with some kisses, nipple action, butt action, just general grabbing and whatnot to bring it home! 

Cowgirl works because she can try to milk your dick for all its worth, and again her hips are more open to really get that dick in there. Again hands are free too ;)

Good ol’ missionary is a standard for a reason. Intimate, and you can really guide yourself in there. Try at a slight angle/on the side a wee bit to really get that dick all up in there. 

Doggy! Again, free hands, and full control. Try spreading her lags apart with yours on the inside. Not only is this kind of hot, but it will allow you to get in deeper.

The pretzel. This is sort of a varied missionary, the angle really just gets in there. Think of lesbians scissoring, a similar concept in my mind. 

Hopefully with some great positions, lots of fingering and oral, and treating her right, she will be fully satisfied. Another option is bringing in toys, which is another large conversation but can definitely help fill ‘the void’ if necessary. Just relax though, and love your woman the best you can! Ask her too if there is anything she likes/loves and the best ways to pleasure her - she should tell you!

ps I borrowed these gorgeous pictures from BYRON GRAY/ THE BIG BOOK OF SEX

#ask nikki #advice #small #tips #dating #relationships #hung up