#this whole series is a breath of fresh clean air

[ocd-kenobi]

Padmé's feelings about her upcoming wedding, noticeably lacking in concrete "I love him" thoughts.

#queen's hope #i love the way this author writes padme so much #this whole series is a breath of fresh clean air #full of oxygen #padme and her handmaidens

[aikaterini-drag]

The Sweetest Surprise PART 2

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Fem!Reader

Summary: Rafe returns from work and you have a sweet surprise for him.

Warnings: minors don’t interact, 18+, lots of fluff and sweet moments, pregnancy announcement, shameless smut. Enjoy!!

This is belongs to the ‘Loving You Series’. Find it here.

At first you thought the tiredness and anxiety were due to the wedding preparations and your busy schedule at the museum. With only five months until your wedding to Rafe, the things you had to do daily were overwhelming. The only thing that made you calm down was Rafe.

But for the past ten days, you’d felt more unwell than usual. Sometimes you were lightheaded, and some scents seemed to turn your stomach. Just that morning, the nausea was so bad you had to leave work early. You went straight to the pharmacy, bought a dozen pregnancy tests and rushed home.

A while later, you were pacing back and forth, your heart pounding as you stared at the two lines on the pregnancy stick. Positive. The moment had finally arrived. You and Rafe had done it. You were pregnant! Joy and a little anxiety bubbled within you as you thought about how to tell him. He wanted a baby just as much as you, and you wanted the reveal to be perfect.

After a lot of pondering, you decided to surprise him that evening once he came back home from the company. Getting busy, you cooked his favorite meal, set the table and prepared for a cozy and intimate night in. By 8 pm, the table was ready, the delicious scent of homemade lasagna filling the air. You hid the neatly wrapped gift box into the a cabinet and fumbled with your hands, nervously waiting.

When you heard the door unlocking, you went to greet him, you whole being vibrating with excitement. Rafe closed the door, locked it, and opened his arms. You ran into his embrace, and he encased you protectively, lifting you off the ground for a few seconds. His natural scent teased your nose, dark and musky, it didn’t bother your sensitive stomach.

“Someone missed me more than usual,” he said before bending down to claim your lips.

“Hmm, missed you,” you muttered in between wet kisses.

“Something smells amazing.”

“I made your favorite,” you replied as casually as possible. “Why don’t you wash up and join me? Dinner’s almost ready.”

You shifted away to check on the food but he grabbed your waist, pulling you back against his chest. You wore a flowery mini dress that hugged your breasts and showed off your collarbones. Rafe seemed highly affected by it. His hands traced your hips, waist and the outline of your breasts before stopping at your shoulders.

“You wore my favorite dress,” he said, his voice low and sultry. “You know what that does to me.”

“You will be a good boy and wait.”

“Babe.” His breath was warm against your neck as he whispered, “It’s hard enough for me to keep my hands off you, especially when you wear this dress.”

You flushed but managed to slip out of his hold, smiling playfully. “Dinner first. Pussy later.”

He chuckled, a deep, throaty sound that sent a thrill through you. “You drive me crazy, you know that?”

“And don’t you love it,” you teased as you strolled back to the kitchen. Rafe followed after you, smacking your bum lightly before making his way to the bathroom.

Fifteen minutes later, he was fresh out of the shower with his short hair still damp. He had changed into black trousers and a loose white shirt that he left partially unbuttoned, giving a glimpse of his sculpted chest. He sauntered over to you and hugged you from behind as you served the meal. You smiled and breathed in his clean masculine scent.

“Missed you, love.” He kissed the side of your neck. “I’m starving.”

“Everything’s ready.”

You sat down and enjoyed your dinner. Rafe talked about his day at work, then just watched you with a hungry look in his eyes. You ate a little, but with his probing, you finished your plate. He nursed a glass of wine—you had juice and that made him flinch for a moment.

“Something’s different today. What is it?” His eyes settled on you, warm and appraising.

You stiffened a little. He always read you like an open book. You smiled and decided it was the right time so you took out the gift box, setting it in front of him on the table.

“This is for you, baby. Open it,” you said, your heart racing.

Rafe stared at your with widened eyes. He muttered a husky “Don’t tell me it’s what I think it is” while he untied the ribbon and lifted the lid. He exhaled in gratitude as he pulled out the pregnancy stick. He looked up at you, his eyes so full of love and adoration.

“Yes, yes yes!!” he shouted, jumping up from his chair so quickly that it fell over. He reached you in an instant, lifting you into his arms and squeezing you tightly.

You clutched him, tears of happiness in your eyes. “Yes, we’re going to have a baby.”

“Oh my God, baby, we’re having a baby!” He set you on your feet and kissed you deeply, tears of joy rolling down his eyes. You wiped them, but realized you were also crying, even harder than he.

“Hey, hey, don’t cry, beautiful,” he said gently as he kissed your tears away. “Don’t cry, please I can’t take it.”

“Happy tears.” You sniffled, smiling through your tears. He kissed you softly, peppering touches until you’d stopped crying.

“We’re in this together, okay? You and me.” He framed your flushed face and kissed the top of your red nose. “No more crying, alright? I love you so much.”

“I love you too,” you whispered, your heart swelling with joy.

Kneeling, he lifted the hem of your dress and kissed your still-flat stomach tenderly. “My precious baby is carrying my baby.”

“I am,” you laughed, shivering at the feel of him against your skin.

He pressed his cheek to your soft belly. “Hey there, little one. I’m your daddy,” he murmured. “I can’t wait to meet you. Stay safe and help me take care of your mommy, hm?”

You ran your fingers through his hair, ready to cry again at the tenderness of the moment.

“Rafe, I’m so happy,” you said, your voice trembling with emotion.

He stood up and pulled you close, his eyes bright with mischief. “Not as much as I. I finally made it happen,” he said, a triumphant grin on his face. “I knocked you up.”

You laughed. “I never doubted you would. You’ve been so determined.”

He slid the straps of your dress off your shoulders and kissed your collarbones. “I can’t wait until you’re showing. I want everyone to see that bump and know you’re carrying my seed.”

“You’re impossibly obsessed.”

He nodded, unabashed. “I am. I’m a slut for you. And for your pussy, your breasts, and your pert little ass. Actually, I fucking worship all of you.”

His words awakened a warm flush through you. “I’ll have you know I’m just as crazy about you.”

He kissed the tops of your breasts, his hands roaming your body. “Well, I can say for sure I’m even crazier.”

“And excited,” you added, sliding your hand down the front of his pants. He was fully erect in your palm, his balls swollen.

“You always make me excited. Even when you’re not with me, just thinking about fucking you gets me hard. And now that you’re pregnant, I’m gonna be in a constant state of hardness for you.”

“Poor baby.” You gave his crotch a gentle squeeze, making him groan. “I can take care of it.”

Growling his approval, he unbuckled his belt and stripped down his trousers and boxers until they pooled at his ankles. You were planning to take him in your mouth, but he sat down and pulled you to straddle him, your legs on either side of his thighs.

“Not fair,“ you pouted, reaching down to pump his cock slowly, feeling the veiny skin against your palms. “I want to suck you.”

“I know, babe…hmmm,” he groaned as you rubbed his ballsack. “Later, perhaps. Now all I can think of is burying myself deep into your warm little cunt.”

You shook your head defiantly, deciding to keep jacking him and running your thumb over the trickle of pre-cum at the head.

“Naughty baby,” he grumbled as he let you have your way— for now —while he worked to remove your clothes. He slipped off your dress and growled at the sight of your tits. Plump and high, they looked delicious enough to eat and he did just that, putting his warm mouth around each rosy nipple. He cupped the underside of your smooth mounds and jutted them up toward his lips.

Choked moans left you as you wiggled shamelessly on his lap, begging him to keep going. Rafe whisked one nipple with his tongue, smiled, then moved to the other. Your hands pumped his shaft weakly, the stimulation was too much, and quickly got out of hand when you heard the sound of your underwear ripping.

“Rafe!” you meant to sound angry but a long moan escaped you when he cupped your pussy.

“What?” he asked sweetly.

“Nnnngh…” you could only whimper as his fingers rubbed your slit, slicking up his fingers in your abundant wetness.

“Such a good girl for me, dripping for me,” he praised, gently probing with two thick fingers. The digits entered you with great care, sliding deep and curving inside you.

“Yesssss,” you clutched his shoulders, realized he still wore his shirt so you impatiently tugged it off. Satisfied, you raked your fingers over his strong chest and broad shoulders.

Rafe fucked you with his fingers while his mouth feasted on your nipples, his wet tongue suckling and circling each tip. Your chest was rosy and marked with his touches and you arched frantically against him, your stomach quivering. Your release hit you so hard that you wanted to scream, but you bit your lips to keep the noise down.

Noticing, Rafe slapped your clit lightly. “Don’t you dare hide your moans from me. I want to hear you.”

You winced, trembling with aftershocks as he kept his fingers inside you and added the gentle pressure of his thumb against your clit. He went back down on your tits, licking the curve and around the flushed areolas.

“Please, fill me up,” you whined, panting heavily. “Inside, deep, come on!”

Smiling against your skin, he grabbed your hips and stood up with you in his arms. You locked your hands at his nape as he pushed you against the wall. You felt one hand cradling your back, protecting you from the hard surface, the other cupping your ass.

“Whatever my goddess wants, my goddess gets.”

You felt the blunt tip at the entrance of your pussy, slowly pressing into you, your walls stretching around the incredible thickness. Pleasurable chills travelled through your body and you wrapped your legs around him, moaning as you felt every inch of him invade you. Rafe lowered you down his cock, your pussy accepting him inside to the hilt.

He groaned and held himself still. “Fuck, your pussy is heaven.”

“More,” you clutched him for dear life needing him close. It was too much yet not enough.

“Easy.” His thick cock pulsed inside you. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“It’s okay, Rafe. I promise.”

“We have to be careful from now on,” he said casually as if he wasn’t buried balls-deep inside you. “First thing tomorrow, we’re going to the doctor. I want to make sure you and the baby have the best care.”

“Fine, daddy, now fuck me, please?” Your voice a was playful whisper.

His eyes darkened. “Want my dick so bad, baby?”

“Hmm… want this fucking big cock that knocked me up.”

And that did the trick. He fucked you with a passion that turned you into a sobbing, blubbering mess. His cock was drenched in your juices, both of you panting for air. Thrusting in and out of you steadily, you rocked with force and pulled his head for purchase. Your nipples rubbed against his chest, tits squeezed delightfully until he decided he wanted a view, so he leaned back and watched as your tits heaved with each thrust.

“Gonna…ngh... gonna—"

“Let go baby, I've got you," he drawled. “Cum, baby. Cum all over my dick.”

At his command, your pussy clenched, pleasure making you frantic. You wrapped yourself around him, your teeth grazing his collarbone as you rode your high. He kept fucking you through it and with a bellow, pushed as deep as he could go and let go, spurting thick white streaks inside you. You milked him dry, your breath rugged against his neck.

Several long minutes later, you felt him push from the wall and make his way to the bedroom.

“Rafe..." you muttered as he walked with his raging cock pulsing inside you. You clung to him, letting out a series of soft whimpers.

Rubbing your back comfortingly, he sat at the edge of the bed. "All good?" he asked, his eyes locked on yours.

"Yes, my love," you smiled, running your hand through his hair. “Want you to fuck me again.”

He chuckled darkly. “Such a filthy word from such a lovely mouth.”

“Want to suck you, too.” You smiled when his thumb trailed your lips and, eagerly, you took it in your mouth.

“Damn… I’m yours, baby. I’ll do anything you want.”

“I’m at my happiest,” you grinned, kissing him softly on the lips.

“Not as happy as you’ve made me, baby. Just when I thought it couldn’t get better, you rock my world.”

“And your cock.”

“And that.” He gave a shallow push to remind you that he was still deep inside you. “I’ll take care of you.”

You grinned. “Not if I take care of you first.”

Next part will be something fluffy that gives depth to their relationship. Stay tuned.

#rafe cameron x female reader #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron x reader #rafe outer banks #rafe cameron #rafe cameron x female!reader #rafe cameron x y/n #rafe cameron x you #rafe cameron x oc #rafe cameron fluff #rafe cameron fanfiction #rafe x you #rafe fanfiction #rafe x reader #rafe imagine #rafe obx

[hollytoshaw]

noisy neighbour part two | harry lewis

✩ ✩ ✩

summary: in which y/n owns a coffee shop and harry is her noisy neighbour

word count : 5.7k

part one here

a/n: this is part two of my noisy neighbour series!!! read part one before this <3 there will be more parts to this as its a proper slow burnerrr. sorry for the slow updates i haven't forgotten about this series lol xxx

masterlist <3333

-

✩ ✩ ✩

Y/N had come to the conclusion that life was much better when she didn’t let silly lies get in her way. It had been a week since she had come clean to her noisy neighbour, or Harry, as she now knew him, and life couldn’t get any better. 

After the pair had laughed about her moment of foolishness and how they were both a little too loud for their own good, they were able to move past it all and properly get to know the person they were living next door to. 

Y/N found out more about Harry’s whole ‘Youtuber’ lifestyle. He was part of a group of seven boys that made videos that came out every Sunday, but he also had other channels in which he’d play computer games and do funny reaction videos—the source of all that playful shouting she had heard through the walls. He told her that he’d gotten bored of his old apartment and wanted a change of scenery, so he chose the small-scale but nonetheless nice flat next door to hers. He lived alone and was 27; his favourite colour was blue, and his favourite cake was chocolate. He liked coffee,cycling, surfing, and the occasional beer, and he loved travelling anywhere in the world, near or far; he just loved exploring places. He had two younger siblings, a brother and a sister, and was from a little channel island named Guernsey. Y/N had never been.

She told him all the little details she could think of about herself in return. She was always sort of bad at introductions, cringing when they used to say ‘’Tell us three facts about you’’ in school, never knowing what to say. But she managed nonetheless. She told him all about her dream of having a cafe of her own and how she came to do so. She loved old music, mainly Abba, to which he laughed and told her he knew already, making a playful jab at the singing he had heard from next door. She too lived alone but was 26; her favourite colour was green, and her favourite cake was lemon. She also liked coffee, not so much cycling or surfing, and opted for cider whenever she went to the pub. While she hadn’t been travelling much herself due to paying off her university debts and then starting up her coffee shop, she still shared the desire to travel anywhere in the world—far away from London. 

It was such a breath of fresh air for Y/N. Owning a cafe all on her own meant early mornings and late nights, and her weekends were either spent visiting her parents or nestled away in her flat watching episodes of Vanderpump Rules or trying new recipes for baked goods that she was thinking about selling in the cafe. Because of this, she had found it hard to find time to make friends, and while she had her fair share, she barely saw them; they either had big city jobs or were living outside of London and starting a family. It just felt nice for Y/N to just sit and chat with someone a similar age to her and talk about nonsense for a while. 

While the conversation the pair shared was cut short by Harry needing to get to work and record a podcast, they shared numbers (only in case one of them got a parcel for the other, of course), and Harry said he’d pop back in soon to finish where they left off. 

So that was it. It had been a week, and she hadn’t seen him since, but that was all she could think about. It wasn’t even like Y/N had a crush, or so she convinced herself, but she longed to talk to him again; it just felt nice. While the occasional old lady that came into the cafe was great to chat with, asking away about how her day was going or what their plans were for the day, she still preferred the little chat she had with Harry; it just felt different, and she couldn’t put her finger on why. 

But then she got all in her own head. Maybe he didn’t come back in because he realised she was a bit weird, having lied about living next door and that he was only being friendly and entertaining the conversation, but in reality, he didn’t want to be talking to her at all. Y/N knew she was probably getting a bit ahead of herself, but she couldn’t help but think the worst. She had always been a bit of a pessimist. 

It was now Monday again, and the cafe had just begun to die down after the lunch rush. After cleaning tables and putting cups and saucers back in place, Y/N finally felt like she had it all under control. There was no one in the shop, and looking at the time, the clock read 1:00 p.m., a perfect chance for Y/N to have her lunch break. She had scoffed a croissant earlier that morning and topped herself up with flat whites throughout the day, but now she was starving. She walked over to the door, flipping the ‘open’ sign to ‘close’ and walked back behind the counter to prepare herself something nice to eat. 

She wasn’t long into making a ham and cheese toastie when she heard three loud knocks on the glass door. Usually she’d shout ‘’We’re closed’’ and continue what she was doing, but another three knocks followed, and she thought she’d just let them in and eat her sandwich another time. 

As she turned around, she saw a hooded figure standing outside the door—it was lashing rain in London today (shocker) —but she could barely make their face out through the raindrops on the door. Nearing closer, she realised it was Harry. After a week, he’d returned. Maybe her pessimism wasn’t always right.  

Letting him in, she moved back as he took his coat off, the black puffer soaked from the awful weather. 

''Hello, you,’’ he smiled, lifting the hood of his jumper from his head. ‘’Didn’t realise you closed this early.’’

‘’Hiya,’’ she smiled back. ‘’Just closed for lunch, that’s all.’’

Furrowing his brows, he replied, ''U-Oh, right, I can come back later if you’re busy.’’

She laughed, taking his coat from him to hang it up on the coat stand next to the door. ‘’Don’t be silly. I’m only having a toastie, nothing special.’’

‘’Lovely stuff,’’ he said, clapping his hands together and following her towards the counter.

‘’How’ve you been?’’ she asked. ‘’Horrible weather today, isn’t it?’’ Classic brit filling empty silence with talks of the weather.

‘’I know, proper pain in the arse,’’ he laughed. ‘’Been good, though. Just back from a holiday with the boys, but so typical, I’ve come back to the shittest weather possible.’’

''Ooh, lucky you,’’ Y/N smiled as she resumed the making of her lunch. ‘’Go anywhere nice?’’

‘’Went to the Maldives for two days for a video,’’ he said nonchalantly, ‘’was a good laugh though.’’

‘’Wow, that must've been unreal.’’ she gasped, placing her sandwich on a small green plate before looking back at him. ‘’Can I get you anything to eat? I feel like a knob if I’m sat scoffing my face and I’ve not made you anything.’’

Harry smiled, watching as the girl moved her plaited hair so that it was out of her face. He thought she was quite pretty with her hair tied back, freckled cheeks, and a peach-coloured blusher on her face. She was wearing her same old green apron, but instead of the jumper she had on the last time he saw her, she had a striped long-sleeve top paired with black jeans. Yeah, she was really quite pretty, he thought. 

‘’No, I’m fine, thanks. I got a meal deal in the airport earlier,’’ he paused. ‘’And I’m trying to keep off the cakes, but they do look bloody brilliant today.’’

Y/N laughed, ''Well, you’re in the wrong place if you’re trying to keep off the sweet stuff. I got cakes coming out of my ears in this place.’’

The conversation felt easy for Y/N. It was almost weird to think about their first few conversations, stiff and awkward, thinking the other was a bit rude and not really interested in making small talk. But now, it felt like they could talk for ages; the initial uneasiness was now a distant memory. 

‘’So what brings you here?’’ she started. ‘’Surprised you’re not straight to bed after that long flight.’’

They sat down at a little table in front of the counter, Y/N enjoying her lunch and Harry watching, fumbling with his fingers. 

''Oh, trust me, I’m knackered.’’ he laughed. ‘’But I thought I’d pop in. Remember, I said I would last time, finish where we left off, and all.’’

Course Y/N was remembered. It had been all she thought about for the last seven days. 

‘’Oh right, yeah’’ she said between mouthfuls of her sandwich. ‘’Well,tell me all about this Maldives trip then.’’

✩ ✩ ✩

A few days had passed since Y/N and Harry’s last encounter. And that was all she could think about.

After leaving her cafe to go back to his flat, the pair shared a few jokey text messages: Harry sending her random pictures he’d taken on his holiday and Y/N sharing snaps of new baked goods that she’d made, with him responding with a classic ‘Save me one.’ It was nothing serious, but it was nice to have playful conversations away from her busy working day and Harry’s video shoots. 

Despite only a small proximity separating the pair, Y/N longed for the next time she might bump into him, almost hoping that a parcel would get delivered to the wrong address to give her some reason to knock on his door or that he’d finally succumb to his sweet tooth and trod down the stairs to try whatever fresh baked treats she had to offer. 

It made her laugh that only a few weeks ago she’d dreaded the thought of seeing him and hated the thought of having to make small talk with him, but now it was all she’d thought of. And don’t get her wrong, she was no romanticist or anything of that sort but when she found something she liked or in this case, a person she liked talking to, it was hard for her to take her mind away from them. 

Another day had come to an end for Y/N. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee lingered in the air as she wiped down the last table in her cosy little shop. It had been a long day for her, filled with the hustle and bustle of customers coming in and out. She felt swept off her feet trying to make sure everything ran smoothly and made a mental note that maybe it was time to hire some help.

Now, as the clock struck closing time, Y/N couldn’t wait to retreat to the comfort of her upstairs flat. Locking up the cafe, she made her way up the narrow staircase and into her home. The familiar creak of the stairs under her feet echoed in the empty hallway—a comforting sound that signalled the end of another day’s work. 

As she reached the door, she let out a contented sigh—peace at last. Turning the key in the lock, she pushed open the door and stepped into her sanctuary.

The soft glow of string lights greeted her, casting a warm and inviting atmosphere through the room. She’d forgotten to turn them off the night before and was surprised the batteries had lasted the day. Kicking off her shoes, she padded across the hardwood floor to her living area, where a plush green sofa beckoned her to sink into its comforting embrace.

Her days always went the same after work. She’d come upstairs, sit down on the sofa, and stick some random television show on for some background noise, needing to just sit for a moment after being on her feet all day. The stress of the day always melted away as she allowed herself to just be in the moment, relishing the peace and quiet of her own space. 

Next to the sofa, a stack of books awaited her attention. She had been reading some Dolly Alderton novel that a friend had recommended, and so far she was loving it. There was nothing quite like getting lost in the pages of a good book; all she needed now was a nice cup of tea, and she’d be in heaven. 

It’d felt like hours had passed as Y/N finally got to the end of another chapter. The gentle hum of the TV in the background continued as Y/N settled down the book and turned her attention to her phone, wondering if she had any new messages from a certain someone. And lo and behold, she did. 

Clicking the message open, she saw a picture that Harry had taken from what she assumed to be his living room. Her view was similar, just at a different angle—the Shoreditch’s streets looking equally as ‘London’-esque from both their windows. He had added a little message to the bottom of it: ‘This weather is mental. Think it calls for tea and some cake.’ Y/N hadn’t seen the message with her phone on ‘Do not disturb’ and her eyes well focused on the piece of fiction she was reading, and he had sent it over twenty minutes ago, but she assumed he was still next door, not wanting to dare step out in the treacherous rain. 

She wondered if he was hinting at her to send him a text and offer some cakes from downstairs. Or maybe even invite him over to try the pastries she’d sent him a picture of only a few days ago. Of course, Y/N didn’t really know if he was hinting at anything, but she really hoped he was. The time on her phone showed it was just past 7:00 p.m., and having eaten a small lunch earlier in the day, she too was in the mood for some cake and tea, not really bothered by the thought of cooking dinner and having to wash up loads of pots and pans in the kitchen.

She lifted herself up from the comfy sofa and into her kitchen space, opening the fridge to see if she had any nice delights to cure her craving. There sat a small blue tupperware, inside two vanilla cupcakes, left over from the day, perfect. Two. Perfect. 

Whether he had been hinting or not, Y/N took the tupperware in hand and stuffed her feet into her fluffy slippers. Unlocking her door and making her way down the stairs towards his door, she felt giddy. She thought it was a nice gesture to turn up with a little treat that he had longed for, and she hoped maybe the two could share a nice chat over a cup of tea as they looked out on the London rain. It’d be nice.

As she got to the door, she lifted her hand up, ready to press the buzzer to his blue door, but as she did, she heard the faint strains of music drifting through the air, accompanied by a girl’s laughter. Her hand froze, and a wave of disappointment washed over her. Doubt crept into Y/N’s mind, and she couldn’t bring herself to interrupt whatever moment Harry was sharing with another.

With a heavy sigh, Y/N turned on her heel and retreated back up the stairs to her flat. She knew she was being silly, but she felt a sting in her heart, and she couldn’t shake the image of Harry’s front door from her mind. 

Back in her kitchen. Y/N set the cupcakes on the counter; her appetite for something sweet was now long gone. She wondered if she had misinterpreted Harry’s kindness and their conversations as something more. Sure, the two had shared a few playful texts, updates throughout the day, and random pictures, but that was the extent of it so far. Y/N felt like an idiot. 

She never did respond to Harry’s text that night.

✩ ✩ ✩

Another few days passed, and Y/N had finally gotten over her little strop. Well…sort of. She didn’t have much to go on other than the fact that she’d heard a woman’s voice and lots of laughter, which she knew didn’t necessarily mean Harry had a girlfriend, but she'd rather nip her feelings in the bud than wonder about the what-ifs that could of been had he opened the door. Plus, Y/N felt a bit silly. He’d never given an indication that their chats were anything more than friendly, and the texts they shared weren’t suggestive in any way—I mean, you could probably send your mother the same things. So she knew it was better to cut her little strop short before she got herself all tangled up in her feelings.

She’d had another long week in the cafe, busy with big orders and endless amounts of coffee, and she knew it was definitely time she put out an advertisement for a job vacancy. But that was a job for another day as she was currently getting ready to go out with a few friends in a pub just near Old Street. It had been a while since she’d found the time to meet up with people (with their big city jobs and her never ending hustle in the cafe) and considering she’d given Harry radio silence for the past few days, this was the most socialising she’d done outside of the occasional old lady in the cafe. So, Y/N was buzzing. She reached for her favourite pair of Adidas Sambas, their sleek black design accentuating her style. The leather was very worn despite carrying many stories of past adventures. Y/N made a mental note that she’d get a new pair out of her next paycheck. Her outfit was bold yet chic, a lot different from her usual jeans, t-shirt, and green apron combo. A leopard print midi skirt is paired with a black fitted crop top and a leather jacket over her shoulders to give the outfit unmistakable flair. She always enjoyed dressing up, even if it was just for a quick pint—it just gave her something to do and was a nice change from her usual get-up. 

With a flick of her wrist, she grabbed her essentials—a phone, cardholder, and keys—and headed out the door. It wasn’t raining in London for once, with spring slowly creeping in, so Y/N didn’t bother with an umbrella, deciding her jacket was enough protection from whatever the weather had in mind. It felt nice as she walked along the busy Shoreditch streets with the city lights beckoning, couples holding hands, groups of friends laughing—it made her heart squeeze, and she felt like the night was promising her excitement and all sorts of possibilities.

/

The pub night was everything Y/N had hoped it would be. It had been a welcome contrast of warmth and laughter, and seeing her friends, who usually worked nine to five, was a breath of fresh air. With flushed cheeks from all the lively conversations and talks of fond memories, not to mention the five pints of fruity cider she had drank, Y/N left the pub with the cheesiest grin on her face. A few kisses to the cheek and warm hugs later, Y/N waved goodbye to her group of mates and headed back towards the Old Street roundabout. 

The city seemed quieter now; most of its energy was subdued despite it only being 10:00 p.m. Walking around familiar streets, she felt a sense of comfort in solitude but wished she hadn’t forgotten her airpods because there’d be nothing better than a peaceful stroll accompanied by her favourite indie music playlist in the back. 

The pub was only about a ten-minute walk from her flat, so it didn’t take too long, and Y/N felt herself subconsciously speed walking as the cold London air got to her, now regretting her choice of jacket. As she neared closer to her doorstep, she could see a hooded figure placed on it, a backpack in front of them, and a phone in their hand as they scrolled aimlessly. Her eyes felt a bit hazy from the cider, and she approached apprehensively, her mind wandering to the possibilities of it being a crazy ex-boyfriend or a drunken friend hoping to rest their heads for the night. But as she moved closer, her anxiousness eased. It was only her neighbour. Harry. Harry, who she’d given the cold shoulder to for the past few days.

His friendly face looked up at the sound of her approaching footsteps. A slightly flustered expression on his face. 

‘’Hi Harry,’’ she smiled. ‘’You alright?’’

Getting up from his crouched position, he moved aside, letting her stand in front of her own door. ''Oh, you life saver, been waiting ages.’’

She looked up at him, a glow on her face, not too sure if it was caused by the pints or his general presence. ‘’What for?’’

‘’I’ve been a right numpty and locked myself out.’’ he laughed. 

‘’Oh shit,’’ she laughed back, buzzing from alcohol. Y/N was a lightweight by definition; the smell of alcohol could probably get her drunk, and at this moment she felt buzzed.

‘’I know, pain the arse,’’ Harry said, pinching in between his eyes. ‘’Can’t even try to get a key cut because everywhere’s shut.’’

‘’You got any friends that’ll let you crash for the night?’’ Y/N asked, feeling genuine concern for the poor boy sitting outside their doors. She hadn’t even asked how long he’d been there—it could have been hours. 

‘’Tried a few but got no response,’’ Harry sighed, "I guess no one wants a rogue sleepover at 10 at night.’’

‘’Good friends you’ve got,’’ she teased, confidence of drink taking over her. 

‘’Oh shush you,’’ he playfully said back. 

A small silence fell over the toy as Y/N fumbled around in her bag to find her keys, the street light giving her enough of a torch to be able to find them. Every time she drank, she’d experience a small panic that she’d managed to lose all of her belongings, but luckily for her, everything seemed intact. 

‘’So what are you going to do?’’ Y/N said as she went to put her key in the lock.

Harry paused for a moment. While the two had shared the occasional message and nice chat over coffee, he felt a bit bold with what he was about to ask. Not being the most social person, he had weighed out the options of whether or not it would be awkward if she'd say yes to his question—he'd more than likely have to sit chatting for a while and then maybe have an uncomfortable sleep on whatever sofa or bed she’d have to offer—but at the same time, he reminded himself that it was only Y/N and whatever awkwardness could have come between them had well and truly been dissolved by their initial meeting. And truthfully, Harry was all for saying outlandish things and asking rogue questions, so if she did say no, he’d just take it on the chin and find somewhere else to go. 

‘’I hate to ask,’’ he paused sheepishly. ‘’I really do. But by any chance, I could come in for a bit, or at least till one of my friends picks up their phone and lets me stay around theirs.’’

‘’You hate to ask?’’ Y/N smirked, cocking her head to one side. ‘’Am I really that insufferable?’’

Harry’s eyes widened at her words. ''N-no, no, not at all. It’s just that I thought, ’’

‘’Stop your blubbering for a moment,’’ she laughed. ‘’It’s fine, really.’��

‘’You sure?’’ he smiled. ‘’Don’t have to say yes, 'coz you feel sorry for me.’’

And yes, Y/N did feel a bit sorry for the blubbering boy sitting in front of their adjacent doors. She couldn’t imagine anything worse than being locked out of her own flat and left out in the cold in London with nowhere else to go—it was a frustrating inconvenience to say the least. Plus, Y/N was always a bit of a generous soul, never really able to say no to people, always biting her tongue when she felt awkward, and with a few pints combined, she was feeling especially generous. 

‘’Honestly, no bother.’’ she replied, unlocking her door. ‘’I’ll probably be awake for the next few hours anyway, so companies are good.’’ An absolute lie on Y/N’s part. Any drink would usually send Y/N into a tired haze, and she couldn’t think of anything better than sticking on her pyjamas and curling up in bed, but it’d have to be put on hold for the night. 

Following her up the stairs and into her living area, Harry let his eyes analyse the room. Fairy lights adorned nearly every wall, blankets crowded on the sofa, a few plants dotted around the room, and an endless amount of cookbooks—while Harry didn’t know too much about Y/N, he could still recognise that her little flat was an exact replica of her as a person. 

‘’Nice place,’’ he said, placing his backpack down on the wooden floor. 

‘’Cheers,’’ she smiled, ‘’similar to yours?’’

‘’Similar size, but mines full of cardboard boxes at the moment,’’ he laughed, ‘’yours has a lot more life to it.’’

‘’Took a good few IKEA trips to get it this perfect, I won’t lie.’’ Since walking in, Y/N had dropped her bag by the door, walking into the kitchen space to find some snacks or atleast a drink to give to her unexpected guest. 

‘’You want a cider?’’ she asked, rummaging through the fridge to find a can of Strawberry Old Mout that she had left over from the last time she had a guest in her flat. She couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous as she looked around the brightly lit fridge - it felt weird having Harry in her flat. Different somehow, more intimate than their casual chats down in the cafe or over text. But especially after her little moment of weakness the other day and the fact that he more than likely had a girlfriend, she pushed those thoughts aside and focused on being the good host she was. 

"You know what- I’ll take one," he replied,thinking nothing sounded better than a cold cider after his shambles of an evening. ‘’Only if you’re drinking too - don’t wanna start getting leathered on my own,’’

‘’As if you’d get leathered off of one cider,’’ Y/N laughed, passing him a can and cracking open her own, ‘’Plus I’m 5 ciders deep already so think it’ll be me getting leathered, not you.’’

Harry shared a laugh with her, holding his hands up in defeat, ‘’Alright, you piss head. You just been necking ciders on London streets then or what?’’

‘’Oh shut up,’’ if she had been closer to him, Y/N probably would of swatted him on the arm for the absolute nonsense that left his mouth but the kitchen counter separated the two, so she kept her arms to her side, ‘’I was just out in the pub.’’

‘’So that’s what the mysterious Y/N gets up to when she’s not running a cafe,’’ he said, raising his eyebrows as if he’d uncovered some maddening truth about her.

‘’Mysterious?’’ she snorted back regrettably but she couldn’t help it and plus after a few drinks, her snorted laugh always seemed to appear.

‘’Well ye-yeah, mysterious.’’ he paused, taking another big gulp of his drink and Y/N wouldn’t have been surprised if he’d managed to finish it by now. ‘’Haven’t heard from you in a few days and then you come swanning in after a few pints, I’d say that’s pretty mysterious.’’

‘’God, you talk some shit,’’ she said, laughing at his use of words. 

‘’S’true though, haven’t heard from you.’’ 

‘’I haven’t heard from you either?’’ 

‘’You liar! I texted you the other night and got no reply,’’ Harry said, clutching at his heart in a playful manner, ‘’really hurt my feelings.’’

‘’You’re such a windup,’’ she grinned, ‘’Didn’t take you as the type to be hung up over no replies,’’

‘’Broke my heart really. I was waiting for you to reply and say you had a cake and a chat waiting for me but got nothing.’

So maybe Y/N hadn’t taken his hints wrongly. 

‘’And then my sister turned up and I couldn’t even come round and pester you for a slice of lemon cake,’’ he continued, ‘’my plan went out the window,’’ His sister! Y/N mentally scolded herself in her head for being so silly that night and thinking the worst.

‘’Your plan?’’ she challenged.

‘’Yeah, my plan to butter you up and then steal every last slice of cake you had going for you.’’ he joked. 

What an idiot, Y/N thought. But a funny idiot, nonetheless. ‘Ah, well, you should have told me your sister was round and I would have been more than happy to share something with her - sure, she would have been better company than you anyways,’’ she joked, in return. She couldn’t tell if it was the ciders making her head feel dizzy or nonchalant playfulness, but she felt giddy and confident. 

‘’No one likes a liar, Y/N.’’ he beamed, ‘’We both know that’s a massive lie.’’

‘’Hmm maybe.’’ 

‘’So, pub, did you say?’’ he questioned, ‘’W-was it a date or?’’

‘’Think I go to the pub on a first date?’’ she said, raising her brow in amusement. 

‘’Nothing wrong with a pint and a bag of crisps for the first date.’’ he defended.

‘’It’s that where you take all your unlucky ladies then?’’

‘’Ha! Unlucky. It’d be the luckiest night of their lives,’’

‘’Oh I bet,’’ Y/N laughed, ‘’But no, just a few drinks with some of my friends. Nothing mad.’’

‘’Very cool.’’ Harry grinned. 

‘’Shut-up,’’ Y/N grinned back in return.

The two fell into a silence, each other not really knowing what to say. Y/N could feel the lull of the alcohol weaning off and she knew she’d be drifting off if she stayed up any longer. She didn’t want to come across rude, enjoying his company but her bed was calling her name and she needed to call it a night knowing she had to be up in  the morning to sort out admin for the cafe. 

‘’I think I might head to bed, I’m feeling knackered.’’ Y/N sighed.

‘’Leaving me all alone, one cider deep?’’ Harry laughed.

‘’Sorry but I don’t think I can keep my eyes open for any longer,’’ A giggle uttering from her lips, ‘’You’re more than welcome to stay on the sofa thought until you get your keys sorted and all.’’

‘’You’re a star, Y/N.’’ Harry smiled in return as he made his way to the couch to make himself comfortable for the night. He couldn’t have been more grateful for her in the moment, thinking back to not so long ago when he was out in the cold, locked outside of his flat. Course, they’d made familiar with each other the past few weeks but he couldn’t get over the kindness of the girl - or pity that she had for him - but either way he was thankful nonetheless. 

‘’There’s a few blankets on the side and some cushions so it shouldn’t be too uncomfortable,’’ Y/N paused, walking over the basket of random throws and cushions she had by the corner of her living room, signalling him to choose his pickings. ‘’Right, I’ll see you in the morning. Night Harry.’’

‘’Night, Y/N. Thanks again.’’ And that was the last thing he saw, her gleaming smile, cheeks red from alcohol as she walked down the hall to the last room that he knew now was her bedroom and headed to bed. 

/

Y/N woke up with a pounding headache the next morning followed by a dry mouth and a queasy stomach. She hadn’t even drank much but in her defense she rarely ever did so any alcoholic beverage would always send her sideways the next day. Blinking against the harsh sunlight streaming through her window, she groaned, regretting the cheap ciders of the previous night. Her memory was a bit hazy, blurred by the fog of alcohol but she did remember one thing. There was a Harry on her sofa. 

Dragging herself out of bed, she quickly sorted herself out, combing through her hair and fixing her pyjamas, not wanting to look an absolute state in front of the boy. She stumbled to the kitchen, head throbbing with every step, desperate for a glass of water. But as she walked into her living space, he was nowhere to be found. Surely she hadn’t been so drunk she had imagined the whole night. 

She could remember everything from the loud music of the pub, the dancing and laughs she shared with her friends. And she most definitely remembered the blue eyed boy that was sat outside her front door, locked out from his home.  

She did a quick check of her phone to see if she had any texts from Harry but the only notifications were a few Instagram tags from her mates and a text from her mum asking what she thought of the banana loaf she had made. Nothing from Harry. 

Walking around the kitchen to grab a glass for her water, she noticed out of the corner of her eye the little notepad she had on her kitchen counter was opened, a few words scribbled on it and a black biro pen next to it. 

On the note read ‘Thank you for letting me stay last night, you’re an angel. I had to leave early this morning to meet the landlord for a spare key but I really do owe you. Let me know when you’re free, I’m thinking of dinner on me? Thank you again, Harry x’ 

With a little smile on her lips as her fingers traced over his messy handwriting, she felt a sigh of relief. Dinner on him, it was and she couldn’t wait.

-

a/n: thank you for reading. sorry for the wait!!! there defo won't be a long wait for part three. this is such a slow burn but promise it gets more cutesy in part three <333

#w2s #wroetoshaw #w2s x reader #harry wroetoshaw #harry lewis #harry w2s #sidemen #w2s fic #w2s imagine #wroetoshaw imagine #wroetoshaw oneshot #hollytoshaw #chris md #arthurtv #sidemen x reader

[tonguepiercedanyway75]

Sharing favorites // Matty Healy x reader

Summery: After your night shift you can finally spend the morning with your boyfriend

Warnings: fluff, smut

Masterlist

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You are waiting for the clock to strike 7. You‘ve been in the hospital for twelve hours. It’s time to go home, go to Matty‘s house and just drop into his arms. You’re tired and annoyed and you desperately need sleep. You’ve been doing rounds the whole night, doing Stiches and cleaning wounds. No operation. Nothing.

It’s like being at the beginning of your career all over again. Being an intern. Nevertheless it’s what you always wanted to do, but right now it’s finally time to leave this place. You get into your car after changing into sweatpants and a hoodie from Matty.

It’s a 20 minute drive which feels like a 20 hour drive when the tiredness is hitting you. Matty still didn’t send you a ‘good morning’ text which means he’s probably dead asleep. The pictures of Matty being cuddled up in bed gives you a warm feeling on the inside.

After what felt like an eternity you finally arrived at his house. You grab your purse, search for the house keys and enter while being the most quiet you’ve ever been, not wanting to wake him. You slip out of your shoes, hang up your coat and make your way to the bedroom. The blinds are shut in every room, not letting the slightest bit of sunshine in, those lighting conditions make the 7am morning feel like a 11pm night.

The bedroom is as dark as the rest of the house but you can still see Matty clearly. He’s laying on his stomach, his face hidden in his pillow while his dog Allen is right next to him. Your heart melts at the sight of your two favorite things.

You lift the blanket and get greeted with the warmth of Matty’s body heat. His arm finds your back as you snuggle your face into the crook of his neck. This is everything for you. Sleep is onto you but it seems as Matty is waking up. “Morning love,” he mumbles into your skin while giving you a kiss on your cheek.

You hum in response, too tired to answer him. “You need anythin’?” You shake your head and nuzzle into him even more.

“Missed you,” you get out before closing your eyes again. You feel completely at ease around him. Matty notices that you can’t keep your eyes open and your breath steadies. He chuckles at your attend to roll him on top of you. “Be my weighted blanked,” you whisper against him.

He does as you wish and Matty immediately feels your weight shift under him. You like cuddling like this. His head is tucked under your chin, arms needling their way behind your back to hold you close. “Sleep well love,” he whispers, the comfort and security of Matty being so close helps you drift off into a light rest. He gives your head a few more kisses, making sure you’re asleep before falling asleep as well.

It’s only 4 hours later when Matty awakes still on top of you. He looks at the clock next to his bed. 11:32. It’s always like this when you have Night Shift, only that sometimes you’re alone in bed. You can sleep way better and longer when you feel your boyfriends presence.

It was an adjustment for Matty at first because he usually gets up between 5 and 6 am. But since you’ve been together he loves nothing more then staying in bed with you.

He gets up, leaves the curtains shut and gets up to give his dog food, he also leaves the door to the garden open so Allen can knock himself out at the fresh air.

After he gets himself a glass of water he goes into your shared bedroom again. You’re laying on your side, hugging the blanket tight around your body. He smiles and picks up his laptop from the drawer and settles next to you.

You introduced him to this mind blowing series, Criminal minds. It’s the series you always watch and the perks of having this many seasons is, it doesn’t end. It feels like you’ll never reach the end.

You are currently on season 9, but since watching without the other is a no-go Matty skips to the start of the last episode you watched. 5 minutes in the series and you snuggle against him, laying your head on his chest. His heartbeat is steady. He looks down at you and removes your messy hair from your face, then he kisses your temple.

Another 5 minutes and you slowly open your eyes. You’re still tired but you know you have the day off and that thought eases you. You groan lightly and sit up. You cover your face in your hands and Mattys hand finds your back, rubbing up and down your lower back. “You sleep okay?” He asks and you let out a quiet yes. You slept good but a little too short.

“How did you sleep?” You ask and turn around to face the man whose curls hang in his face and whose eyes look as tired as yours. His stubbles are more visible, since he hasn’t shaved for a couple of days.

“Like a Baby,” he says and gives you a silly smile. Your favorite characters voice raises your attention to the screen. You slap his chest lightly, “what was that for?”

“Did you continue without me?” That would be just cruel but Matty turns the screen and it shows you a scene you recognize. “What do you think love? Would never do that.” He reaches for your hand and kisses every one of your knuckles.

After you come from the bathroom, he settles the laptop to the side and pulls you onto his lap. You feel his erection through his boxers, but it doesn’t stop him from lifting you higher up his body making you laugh. “Matty what are you doing.” You’re now sitting on his chest but he grips your hips tighter, you whine. “Lift your hips and sit on my face.”

You blush at the direct demand and who are you to say no to the man who looks so sweet right now. You hover over his face but feel a little nervous to crush him so you hesitate.

“Get down baby,” he says. “Okay.” And with a gulp, you allow your hips to lower, your knees slipping on the silky sheets which open your legs wider to give your boyfriend better access.

“Like that, good,” Matty cooes and patiently coaxes your body all the way down with encouraging hands until his mouth attaches itself to your clit, encouraging whimpers to leave your mouth.

“Jesus- Matty,” your hands grip onto his hair and you pull slightly, earning a growl from your boyfriend. “Not Jesus,‘s just me.”

Your hips start to grind down, meeting his tongue to chase your high. You let your eyes roll to the back of your head while Matthew never stops. He purrs, sucking your clit between his lips.

Making you come is one thing. Tasting you is another. Your back arches and your fingers pull on his hair. Matty grips your thighs tighter. “Matt- baby,” you moan. He is obsessed with you, with your scent, your taste, your moans, with being the first ever person to ever touch you like this, to make you feel so good.

Pleads leave your mouth, “Oh, my god—” you cut yourself off with a languid moan, rolling your head to the back while closing your eyes. He groans in approval as your hands card through his hair, moving one hand to slide affectionately up and down your thighs, to feel your relax more and more.  

“Fucking obscene,” he mutters as he feels you let go around his tongue, “my favorite taste.” Matty licks you clean before pulling you down. You close your eyes and kiss him, tasting yourself on his tongue and lips. You keep your eyes closed, too tired to open them. The 4 hours of sleeping getting to you.

“You with me?” He asks and nudges you a little, you shake your head ‘no’ which makes him chuckle. He strokes your hair while holding you close, rubbing your back soothingly. “Have to clean you up baby, ‘be right back.”

He picks up a wet towel from the bathroom and cleans your lower body, you hiss at the contact with you clit and he apologizes. “So pretty,” he wipes your inner thighs and throws the towel into the laundry basket.

“I love you,” you say as he settles next to you and picks up the laptop again. He leans down to kiss you. God, you love kissing him. His lips are made for you. “I love you too,” he tells you.

You both watch the next episode of criminal minds in bed, cuddled up, sharing lots of kisses during. At some point you finally get up and begin the day, until you fall asleep at the exact same spot.

#matty healy #matty healy fluff #matty healy smut #matty healy imagine #matty healy oneshot #the 1975 #the 1975 smut #the 1975 fic #matty healy x you

[words-4u]

right person (1/3)

pairings: luca x reader, marcus x reader (platonic)

wc: 1.4k

a/n: immediately started planning a three part series on luca while watching the bear s2. that's what a tatted will poulter does to me (the bear is an incredible show btw pls watch if you don't)

warning: swearing

part 2 / part 3

"denmark?"

"yes! we are sending you and marcus to denmark for two weeks to stage at this really great restaurant. you're gonna learn to do three new desserts for us. carmy knows the head pastry chef. says he's really cool so it should be fun, right?" sydney explained.

"that does sound fun! i'm in!" you smile.

you look at marcus who was deep in thought. if you had to guess what he was thinking, his mind is probably on his mom who was currently bed ridden at a hospital.

you put a hand on marcus' shoulder. "you good with that?" you ask your co pastry chef.

he broke out of his thoughts and nods. "yeah, i-i'm great. i'd love to."

"great! cause you guys really didn't have a choice. your flights are already booked for tomorrow afternoon sooo thanks!" sydney offers two thumbs and an awkward smile before she leaves what used to be the kitchen.

"holy shit," you whisper in shock. "staging at a michelin star restaurant in a country i've always wanted to visit. could this be any better?"

"i have to go tell my mom but give me a call if you need a ride to the airport tomorrow. chester will probably take me and we can swing by your place if you want?"

"dude, yes! that'd save me a shit ton of money that i would've spent on uber."

"cool, see you," marcus grabs his bag and heads out the door.

after helping fak, riche and gary with fallen ceiling debris, you decide to leave a bit early to pack and clean your apartment before your travel.

it was noon on the dot the next day when marcus calls to check if you were ready for the airport. since you packed the night before, you had a rather peaceful morning. chester talks your ear off the whole way to the airport and you guys get there he demands to see your passports because he wants to make sure you and marcus actually had it on you.

"chester, can you do me a favour and check in on my ma when you get the time?" marcus asks.

"dude, i'm way ahead of you. gonna check on her every morning on my way to work,"

"i appreciate it."

chester looks at both you. "now, i want you take a deep breath and let the good in. you guys are gonna kill it."

you grin at marcus' friend. "thanks chester. okay we're gonna have to leave now before we miss our flight."

marcus says his farewell to his best friend and the two of you head to your gate.

the plane ride to copenhagen was smooth despite marcus' worries. you guys hop on a train to explore the city before heading to where you were staying.

"trains here are way cleaner than the ones in chicago," marcus leans over to whisper.

"waay cleaner," you agree.

the two of you exited the station and stood in awe of your view. clear blue skies. cool fresh air. colourful buildings. and the smell of hotdogs which was incredibly appealing after your long journey.

you and marcus lock eyes. "oh yeah."

marcus got a hotdog with dried onions and pickles on top while you had a plain jane moment with just ketchup.

"this is the best thing i've ever put in my mouth," you say with in between bites.

"just what i needed honestly," marcus says.

after your quick meal, the two of you continue to wander the city taking in the architecture most of all.

marcus was using the maps feature on his phone to find the place you were supposed to be staying at.

"uh i don't see any apartment buildings near," you say. "are you sure we are in the right place?"

marcus led you to a canal where some boats were docked. "i am 99.9% sure. you're staying in 286 and i'm in 287."

you glance at the boat in front of you and saw the gold numbers plaque on the side. "well, mystery solved. this is your place and i'm guessing this one is mine." you moved further down to the boat behind marcus' one.

"sick," he smiles.

"i'll see you tomorrow, yeah?"

"night, y/n!"

you walk down a couple of steps before unlocking a door that lead to a kitchen and dining room. it was spacious and you were grateful for the many windows it had. the stairs to the left led up to the bedroom which was a lot smaller than you anticipated having only space for your bed and a small cabinet for clothes.

you flop on your bed and exhaled. you didn't realize how tired you were until your head hit the soft mattress and while everything in you wanted to knock out, you knew you had to get up and unpack because you wouldn't have time tomorrow.

one thing you were not was a morning person and yes you should have gotten used to it by now working in the restaurant industry but getting up at 4 a.m. will never feel natural. regardless, you had a twinge of excitement for your new job and excited to learn under this new chef that carmy spoke so highly of.

once you got ready for the day, you hear three soft knocks.

"morning," you say. "you ready?"

"born ready," marcus says as you lock your door and head to the restaurant.

it was only a 15 minute walk from where you were staying so the two of you arrive with time to spare.

you walk into the bright kitchen and suck in a breath. the kitchen was stunning with it's high-end equipment, gorgeous green tiling and the young hot chef moving bags of flour from one table to another.

"chef. i'm marcus brooks and this is y/n y/l/n," marcus begins. "and we're from-"

the chef looks up for a quick second. "i know. i'm luca, pastry. we start at 5 a.m. your section's at the end of the bench."

the english accent takes you by surprise. your knees could have buckled right then and there.

"yes, chef," the two of you say in unison.

now your excitement turned into nervousness. not only were you to create three star-worthy desserts for the bear, you had to learn from someone who is so extremely good looking it hurts.

marcus and you head to the back to change into your uniforms which was a basic indigo t-shirt and a green apron like luca had.

when you went back out, you immediately wash your hands and got ready for whatever luca had in store for you guys.

luca had marcus rollout croissant pastry while he led you to a table where he had prepared a dessert. your task was to place pieces of peanuts at a certain angle as part of its presentation.

you study luca as he shows you what to do. he had small black tattoos scattered up and down his arms. that alone is having an effect on you.

"here, you try," he says passing the tweezers to you.

your fingers brush as you took the small tool from him. luca didn't make eye contact but you did notice his jaw clench.

"nuzzle that sliver into the pudding just to lock it in."

"yes, chef," you say.

taking one of the small nuts from the bowl, you place it on the pudding but it slipped last second.

"no. again, chef," he says in a calm yet assertive tone.

"sorry," you say and try again and it's worse which luca picks up on.

"hm, worse."

he takes the tweezers from you and picks up the piece. "don't be afraid to just stick it in there, you know," luca takes the nut and slides it in perfectly. "just be confident about it."

"don't second-guess yourself," he says finally locking eyes with you.

you nod. "yes, chef."

you took the tweezers back and third time was the charm because you placed the nut in the pudding just like he'd showed you. smiling to yourself, you put the tool down.

luca's face stays expressionless. he looks up from the dessert. "you know how to make shiso gelee?"

you absolutely do not know how to make whatever he just said but there was no way you were gonna let him know that.

"yes, chef."

"alright."

luca steps away to grab some ingredients which gives you the opportunity to whip your phone out and google the gelee. "dextrose? what the fuck is that?" you whisper to yourself.

luca came back and places a tray in front you. "recipe," he says tapping some blue index cards.

you felt your face burn. "thank you, chef."

end of part 1 omggg. not much luca x reader but it’s warming up trust me. i already have ideas for part 2 and 3 with some potential alternate endings... stay tuned

if you enjoyed, please let me know (through my bio) if you have any the bear requests, send them my way!

#the bear #the bear season 2 #luca #the bear luca #will poulter #will poulter x reader #will poulter imagine #the bear imagine #the bear fanfic #the bear fx #the bear sydney #sydney adamu #luca x reader

[honeyedmiller]

Law of Attraction — Chapter Five: Saudade

series masterlist | previous chapter | epilogue

rating: 18+, minors dni.

warnings: professor!joel, professor x student relations, plus size!reader, unresolved feelings at first, angst, lots of emotions, joel is an idiot (in love), flashbacks of sex, shower head masturbation, light alcohol consumption, brief pov swapping, teensy bit of fluff, there won’t be a super happy ending quite yet. no use of y/n.

word count: 4.2k

chapter synopsis: moving on has proven to be a lot harder than you’d both anticipated. when more feelings bubble to the surface, it may be too late to act upon them.

divider by @saradika-graphics

sau·da·de – /souˈdädə/ (noun): an emotional state of melancholic or profoundly nostalgic longing for a beloved yet absent something or someone.

Adrienne had come home that night to find you agonizingly sobbing on your bedroom floor. The fight that ended things with Joel felt like it’d ripped your heart out as a whole, sewing your ribcage airtight so you could barely fucking breathe. 

She sat on the floor and consoled you, shushing you as you cried into her neck. You felt like a fucking wreck, stuck in the abyss of darkness that had consumed you wholly after he walked out of the front door. 

After your cries dwindled down into sporadic hiccups, you finally came clean to her about everything: how you’d been feeling the past month and a half, what Tess had told you, and how your breakdown was a result of holding back your true feelings for far too long. 

Adrienne couldn’t believe what she was hearing. She wasn’t mad at you in any sense of the matter, and she didn’t parade around with a sickeningly mockful ‘I told you so.’ She was infuriated with Joel. 

Because, for fuck’s sake, how could he have suggested this whole ordeal with you knowing he didn’t have his shit resolved yet? If he still had uncharted feelings about the situation with his goddamn ex, he should’ve never touched you in the first place. 

A woman, so eager and bright and full of free spirit, had been dwindled down to be filled with hopeless despair—light dulled and spirit trapped in the confines of what could’ve been. 

It’d been a month since that very day, and you were slowly starting to feel like yourself again. 

Tess kept her end of her promise, putting in a good word with the Los Angeles police department as they were in need of a forensic technician. The head of the forensics team had interviewed you over the phone for half an hour before deciding she wanted to meet you in person and talk about what the job would entail in greater detail. She said, in her own words, she needed some ‘fresh minds on her team.’

You were excited to go back home to visit your folks in the midst of this trip. You needed to create new memories, good memories this trip, because last time you were on the west coast you were getting relentlessly fucked by your former professor, accepting his offer to be friends with benefits. 

You swore to yourself you’d never put yourself in such a situation ever again. 

It humiliated you, made you feel foolish, hurt you—the list goes on—but it also taught you. It taught you patience, it taught you resilience, and it taught you the hardships of two emotionally damaged people trying to mold into one. 

You’ll admit, you did miss Joel. Not in the same way you did when it hurt at first, but more so in a way that made you miss the familiarity that floated in the air every time you two were around each other. When you weren’t wracking your brain about your feelings for him, being around him was just… easy. 

He was obviously super intelligible, always had something insightful to say, he was funny, and he actually listened to you in the aspect of daily life. He made you feel seen, which is something you don’t get often with people. 

When your feelings for him weren’t harboring into the depths of your heart, a swirl of anticipation always clutched at you to be around him. You really did miss him. 

You also missed the sex. 

The price that it came with was hefty, but god—you missed the scrape of his facial hair against your trembling thighs, the thickness of his fingers scissoring in and out of you while praising how ‘fuckin’ perfect your pussy is’, his hot tongue swirling against your aching core with a shit-eating grin plastered to his lips as you came undone, his sweet-talking mouth that praised every single inch of your body, and his cock that seemed to connect you two and made it so goddamn difficult to tell where he ended and you began. 

A knock on your bedroom door jostles you from your thoughts, and you turn to see Adrienne standing there with a smile on her face. 

“You ready for tomorrow?” She asks, stepping into your room. She sits down next to your open luggage, reaching down to toy with the frayed knee on one of your packed jeans.

“I am. I’m excited. I always love going back home.” 

And it was true. Texas had grown on you, but California would forever be your home. You missed the sunny weather and the near-constant blue skies. 

“So,” She starts, laying both of her hands in her lap. “If you do get the offer, which I’m sure you will, I could find a job out there too. We could move together, you know, so you wouldn’t have to move back in with your parents.” She shrugs, as if what she proposed was the most nonchalant thing ever. 

“Adri, are you serious?” 

She smiles and nods her head. “Yeah, I mean, I’ve lived in Texas my whole life. You know how bad I’ve wanted to get out for some time now, so I figured this would be the perfect opportunity.” 

You shoved your suitcase further up the bed so you could sit next to her, wrapping your arms around her. 

“I’d love it if we moved together, Adri. Truth be told I really wasn’t sure how I was going to navigate life without you being in a different state. Probably would’ve gone fucking insane.” 

You both laugh as she reciprocates the affection. 

“Can’t get rid of me that easily, babe.” And for that, you were so grateful to have someone like her in your corner. Sometimes it felt like it was you and her against the world. 

-

“Did you finish grading yet?” Tess asks Joel, crossing one leg over the other as she leans back in her chair. The restaurant they were in was relatively quiet, considering it was only the afternoon. 

“I did. Wasn’t too bad.” Joel shrugged, cutting into his steak. 

“Mm. That’s good. So what do you plan on doing now that you’re a free man for two and a half months?”

Joel’s heart sinks. He should be enjoying his vacation wrapped up in you, but because his pride got in the way, he lost you to something that meant a lot to him. He didn’t deserve your forgiveness, but he was hoping he’d be able to gain it someday. 

“Nothin’.” He’s curt with his answer, and Tess knows him all too well. 

“You’re thinking about her, aren’t you?”

”Why does it matter, Tess?” Joel’s exasperated at this point, really not in the mood to hear I told you so from his best friend. He knows he fucked up. He reminds himself that every single day when he goes to text you, fingers hovering over the keyboard because he doesn’t know the right thing to say. I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I want you. 

But it’s too late. 

“Joel,” Tess sighs, shaking her head. “I’m not gonna say what you think I’m gonna say, but I do have one question.” 

Joel looks up at her, her green eyes sincere. 

“What is it?”

“Why didn’t you fight harder for her?” 

Joel wasn’t expecting that. That question was like a punch to the gut, knocking the air out of his lungs. Because, honestly, why didn’t he? 

He shrugged at her. 

He thinks it’d be easier to lie and say it was the age difference and you used to be his student and it’d be this whole weird thing, but Tess would see right through him. He knows exactly why, though. 

He was terrified. 

Terrified of getting too attached, terrified of getting hurt, terrified of admitting he was falling in love with you. 

You just graduated. You’re just starting your life as a free woman. He didn’t want to be the one to hold you back. 

He knows you can find someone so much better than him. Someone closer in age, someone that won’t dick you over or spring an awful proposal onto you like he did. Someone who could actually give you what you deserved, which was the whole goddamn world. 

But what he didn’t know was that he had ruined every single man for you, ever. Nobody could compare to him. 

There’s no way he’d ever get to know that though, because he fucking had you. And then he lost you. 

-

The June sun was hot on your back as you unloaded your luggage from the back of your Uber. You had taken an early flight, so it was only around noon when you got to your parents’ house. You unlocked the front door and slipped off your sandals, wheeling your luggage into the living room, only to be met with silence. 

“Mom? Dad?” You called out. More silence. You furrowed your brows and walked further into the house and into the kitchen, stopping when you saw a neon post-it slapped onto the middle of your fridge. 

‘Hey sweetie, you’ll probably arrive home around noon, which means dad is still at work and I’ll be running some errands. Picking up some stuff from the grocery store, too. Making chicken parm tonight. Can’t wait to see you!

Love mom.’

You smile at her note before rolling your suitcase to your old room, deciding to shower first and then settle in.

Exhaustion consumes your body as the inviting droplets of water roll down your skin, warm water relaxing your aching muscles. You were nervous about meeting the head of forensics in two days. This could be a life-altering career for you, and you wanted nothing more. 

Except for Joel, maybe, the depths of your mind sneer at you. You roll your eyes at yourself, ignoring that part of you that fucking aches for him on a near-constant basis. You failed, though. The ache was so bad that it had manifested itself into a pulsating, needy pang between your legs. You sighed as you snatched the shower head from its holder and lowered it between your flesh, warm water gliding over your throbbing cunt with the right amount of pressure. 

God, missing him was already becoming too much. 

-

You didn’t intend to fall asleep after your shower, but your bed was so comfy and you wanted to escape your overactive mind for a bit—so you slipped into a comfortable slumber. Your mom knocked on your door to wake you up, letting you know that dinner was almost done. 

Dinner was full of catching up with your parents. It was nice to spend some time with them again. You hadn’t seen them since you graduated, and before that, Christmas break. It was harder to catch flights back to California just for the hell of it when you were in school, and now, you’re looking at the prospect of being a full-fledged Californian once more. 

You were helping your mom clean up the kitchen, working off your post-meal coma that was surging over your body. 

“Hey honey, are you okay?” Your mom asks as you dry the last of the dishes. You look at her perplexedly, not expecting that question at all. 

“What do you mean?” You ask, putting away the dried dish. 

“It’s just,” She starts, pursing her lips and sighing. “I don’t know, you seem different? I guess? It’s like you’re you but the real you isn’t really… there. Saw it at graduation too. The sadness in your eyes…” She trails off, looking at you with a bit of unease. 

You didn’t think it’d be that noticeable, but things scarcely get past your mother. 

You were almost thirty years old. Surely she wouldn’t be pissed at you for sleeping with your former professor, now, would she? 

“I’ll tell you about it,” You say, eyes landing on a bottle of Pinot Grigio. “We might need this, though.” You snatch the bottle off the counter and grab two wine glasses, leading her out to the padded lounge chairs on the back patio. 

She pours two hefty glasses, because the look on your face tells her everything she needs to know: it’s going to be a hell of a story. 

And so you proceeded to tell her everything, aside from where you two had sex. She definitely didn’t need to know about you getting fucked by him in his office, bent over his desk as he—

“Wow. That’s… a lot.” She says, drinking in all of the information you threw her way. 

“You’re not upset with me?” You ask, hiding a wobbling bottom lip behind your glass of wine. The lump in your throat made it harder for you to swallow the smooth drink. 

“Honey, you’re a grown woman. You know what’s right from wrong, albeit I think you should’ve at least waited until after you graduated, as far as I’m concerned, it was two adults consenting to participate in adult activities.” She shrugs, and you sigh in relief. 

“I promise I wasn’t sleeping with him for my grades or anything. I was already one of his top students before it all began.” You huff a laugh, and your mom shakes her head. 

“That thought didn’t cross my mind once, sweetheart. It’s not you. It’s not your character,” She sips her wine with a meek hum, brows pinching together. “I don’t like what he did to you, though.” She shakes her head, looking at you. 

“I agreed to it, though. Part of it is my fault for not telling him how I felt. I knew what I felt for him and I hadn’t voiced it once to him, so he was unaware.” 

And you wondered now if things would’ve been different had you told him how you really felt. 

His words, seared into your brain at this point, always repeated themselves: ‘It’s not my fault I didn’t live up to the expectations of myself that you created in your head.’

Maybe you wouldn’t have made those expectations up if you just fucking told him. 

“He still shouldn’t have used you as a pawn to distract himself from his unresolved feelings about the thing with his ex.” She says, and you know she’s right. Adrienne said something similar to you not even three weeks ago. 

“Yeah.” Was all you could muster up, swirling your wine around your glass. 

“Do you think you have it in your heart to ever forgive him?” She asks, and your stomach twists into a knot. You’d never even thought about forgiving him. It was still too fresh of an open wound, one you were desperately trying to heal and close. 

“Maybe someday.” It was an honest answer. 

And that’s all you could really give her. 

-

The next day, your mom had graciously decided to take you out for a little distraction from life as you knew it. 

She took you for a drive down PCH in your dad’s beloved cherry red ‘65 Ford Mustang convertible, which is exactly what you needed. The sun was beaming brightly down on you both, the top down allowing the hot wind to wildly whip at your face. You leaned your crossed arms on top of the passenger door, laying your head down as you closed your eyes to enjoy the moment of serenity. 

You missed home so much. You didn’t even want to go back to Texas, but you’d know by the end of the week if you were coming back here permanently or not. You figured you’d need to construct a plan B just in case this job didn’t end up working out, but you’d figure that out soon. 

Right now, you just wanted to enjoy the summer sun and the time with your mom and the freeness you felt now that your mom knew everything. 

The day went by quickly much to your disadvantage. You were nervous for what tomorrow would bring, hoping to god that you were impressive enough for them to at least consider you to be a part of the forensics team. 

And you went into the huge facility the next day with a smile plastered on your face, showing you were genuinely happy to be there and how much you’d love the job. You hoped you weren’t being overeager. 

The head of the forensics team, Margot, seemed to take a liking to you. She asked how you knew Tess, and you told her you met at the criminal justice expo a couple of months back. 

It wasn’t a lie, but you didn’t want Joel to be a part of the conversation whatsoever, so you naturally skipped over the part that you met her through him. 

Margot gave you a run-down of how things worked in that particular department, showing you the ins and outs of the place. She showed you all of the equipment and how it worked; what different positions in the job entailed; and what she was expecting of you, were you to be hired. 

The prospect of you working on the forensics team for the LAPD had your stomach doing somersaults, and you had to constantly remind yourself that it wasn’t reality for you yet. You couldn’t get too ahead of yourself. 

You thanked Margot for her time as she promised she’d keep in touch and let you know about the position by the end of the week at latest. 

You got home that evening and Adrienne FaceTimed you right away. You felt like it went well, though you couldn’t be one hundred percent sure. Margot was a sweet woman, but her mannerisms gave very little away. All you could do at this point was just hope for the best. 

That’s all you seemed you could really do right now in life, anyway. 

Just hope for the best. 

-

You got the job.

The call came in around ten in the morning on your way to the airport to fly back to Austin. You couldn’t believe it. 

It’s like everything in your life was slowly clicking back into place, one by one. 

You’d worked so hard in school, but you genuinely couldn’t have done this without Tess. You had to call and let her know. 

You scrolled through your contacts and clicked her name, and within three rings she answered. 

“Hello?”

”Hey, Tess. I have some great news.” Your voice is giddy and you couldn’t contain your excitement. 

“I think I might know what it is.” She teased, prompting you to tell her. 

“I got the job!” 

“I knew you would, sweetheart, congratulations. We should get a drink to celebrate. Make it a whole thing.” Her voice rings with sincerity, and you can’t seem to wipe the smile from your face. 

“Love to. I don’t start until late August, so I have a month and a half to pack and move.” 

“That’s great! If you need help, Misty and I wouldn’t mind lending a hand.” 

“Thanks Tess. And thank you so much for putting in a word for me. I wouldn’t have gotten this job without you.” 

“You did all of the hard work. I was just a referencer.” She laughs, and you can’t help but beam. 

“Hey I gotta go, my flight is being called to board. But I’ll see you real soon.” You say, and hear her chuckle on the other end of the line. 

“See you soon, sweetheart.” 

-

A month and a half passed by in the blink of an eye. You and Adrienne were leaving tomorrow to head for California with all your stuff in tow. 

It felt so surreal, leaving Texas behind to start something new for yourself—something you worked so hard for. Adrienne couldn’t have been more supportive of you starting anew, which is why she insisted you both invite your friends to a local bar as a last hoorah before you took off in the morning. 

You were all smiles tonight, taking a couple of shots with friends before settling on a Cosmo to babysit for awhile. 

You even invited Tess and Misty, wanting to say ‘see you later’ instead of ‘goodbye’, because you ultimately knew you’d be seeing them again. 

And, deep down, a part of you wishes you could physically say goodbye to Joel. Thank him for everything he’s taught you—inside and outside of the classroom—and put your past with him completely behind you. 

You didn’t want to go to California with any loose ends, because again, the whole purpose was to start fresh. 

You didn’t dwell on it too much. You were there to celebrate with your friends and have a good time… which you were, until the man that had been lingering in the back of your mind for two and a half months unexpectedly made an appearance. 

You were talking with Adrienne, Tess and Misty before all three of them went silent, eyes averting behind you. You looked at them with confusion before turning around, heart dropping to your stomach. 

Joel. 

“What’s he doing here?” Panic seized your body, not expecting to see him at all. The part of you that wanted to say goodbye was relieved to see him, and the other part of you—the part that craved him for so long, wishing everything was different—was mortified. 

“I actually invited him.” Adrienne said, sympathy in her eyes as you furrowed your brows. 

“What—?” 

“Just- just hear him out, okay?” She asks, and you place your watered-down Cosmo on the sticky bar top, giving her an unsure look before turning around to face him. He didn’t look much different, but his eyes were tired. 

A pang of hurt seized your chest, and you swallowed harshly before making your way to him. 

“Joel.” You sound breathless. Your eyes must’ve been wide and strewn with confusion. 

He offers a small, lopsided smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. 

“Hey. Can we talk?” He asks, voice sounding a bit unsure, a trait that’s very unlike Joel. 

You nod, and he jerks his head toward the bar door to walk outside. Your shoes scuff over the pavement, humid summer night air sticking tackily to your body. The sounds of Life in the Fast Lane by the Eagles fades into the background with all of the chatty patrons of the bar, leaving the distant call of the cicadas to become the forefront of noise in the night. 

“So,” You begin, not exactly sure what he wants to talk about. 

“Couple of things. First and foremost, I wanna apologize to you, darlin.’ For every single thing that’s happened. You were a student of mine and I shouldn’t have—” He swallows, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t have done anything with you then. ‘N I most certainly shouldn’t’ve offered that stupid fuckin’ friends with benefits bullshit to you.” His eyes are trained on his worn out boots, hands knotting behind his back. 

“Joel—”

“Darlin’, you deserved so much better. I want you to know that I was never ashamed to be with you. You’re gorgeous, your body is beautiful, you’re so brilliant. Everythin’ about you is a dream. I was selfish and I was terrified of gettin’ hurt again. I spent so long building up walls to protect myself ‘n my peace, and then you came into my life chippin’ away at it so easily. I didn’t know what to do, so I panicked. Kept pullin’ you in and pushin’ you away so I wouldn’t be the one that ended up hurt. But I hurt you in the end and I can’t tell you how fuckin’ sorry I am.” 

His dark gaze is locked on you then, and you feel the backs of your eyes burning, tears threatening to spill to the forefront. You didn’t know what to say. What could you say? It’s not every day you get a heartfelt apology from a man who really did a fucking number on you. 

“What’s the second thing?” Your voice is meek, crossing your arms over your chest. He’s hesitant at first, but he sighs as he takes a small step toward you. 

“I really fuckin’ miss you.” His eyes were full of sadness, regret, anguish. All telltale to you that he was being completely sincere. 

You didn’t want to give in. You didn’t want it to be that easy, answering his beck and call. But it was Joel— the man who made you feel things nobody else has, the man who frustrated you and liberated you simultaneously, the man who fucking ruined every single man for you ever again. 

You were a strong woman. You knew that. He knew that. But Joel had chipped away at your walls, too. 

Eye for an eye. 

“I miss you too,” You whisper, tears on your waterline now. “But I don’t want to get hurt again.” 

“Sweetheart,” Joel coos, reaching out for you. It took you a second, but you willingly let yourself succumb to the warm, familiar embrace of the man that you so desperately, secretly longed for all this time. “I promise you I won’t hurt you again. Cross my heart ‘n hope to die.” Joel’s voice holds so much promise. 

Everything felt okay again. It felt right as you buried your face into his neck, clutching fistfuls of the soft material of his shirt. 

And then it hit you—

“Joel,” You gasp, sad tears streaming down your face endlessly, body wracked with broken sobs. “I’m moving to LA. I leave for California tomorrow.”

Joel’s face falters, tears in his eyes as he pulls you into him tighter, kissing your temple as you both stand in the parking lot, sobs joining the song of cicadas. 

What you’d lost once was in your grip again, only for it to slip through your fingers like sand—twelve hundred miles soon to be separating what could’ve been. 

tags: @party-hearses ; @ilovepedro ; @punkshort ; @nostalxgic ; @tinygarbage ; @harriedandharassed ; @pamasaur ; @bastardmandennis ; @cool-iguana ; @untamedheart81

#fic: law of attraction #joel miller #joel miller smut #joel miller fanfiction #professor!joel miller #professor!joel #professor miller #joel miller fic #joel miller series #joel miller au #joel miller x plus size reader #joel miller fanfic #joel miller imagines #joel miller x f!reader #professor joel x plus size!reader #honeyedmiller

[logyisthemaincharacter]

Raindrops & romance

Series link

A/n: I had such a busy day yesterday, so I didn't get the time to write anything. But here's the next part. I hope you're gonna love it as much as I do.

I'm standing in front of the door that splits Jack's apartment from the hallway. My heart becomes a victorious monster in my chest, thrashing to climb out. This is a date. My first date in a while. My first date with someone like Jack.

My palms start to sweat. I can't shake the nervous feeling that had been building since we made plans for this date. I want this night to be perfect, but there is also the possibility of disappointment.

As I raise my hand to knock, I take a deep breath to calm my nerves. I can feel the weight of anticipation building inside me as I wait for him to answer the door. What if he doesn't like the outfit I chose? What if we run out of things to talk about? What if I make a complete fool of myself?

Despite my fears, there's a surge of excitement at the thought of spending time with Jack.

As I hear the sound of footsteps approaching the door, my nerves reach a fever pitch. When Jack finally opens the door, I am met with a warm smile that instantly puts me at ease. Ginger is standing beside him, wagging her tail. In this moment, all of my worries melts away, and I get filled with a sense of relief and happiness.

There he is! Jack Harlow, wearing an apron. The sight is unexpectedly charming and endearing. I can't help but smile at the sight of him, wondering what culinary masterpiece he had been working on in the kitchen. The apron adds a touch of playfulness to his already magnetic presence, making him even more attractive.

"Hey! You're early." He swallows a lump. "I didn't think you'd be here for another 15 minutes."

I bend down to give Ginger a pat on the head, her tail wagging even more vigorously. "I thought I'd see what I could help with."

"Didn't I say that I'm cooking?" He makes way for me to come in. "That means you get to sit back and relax."

"I'll be helping you clean, though." I take my coat off with Jack's help. He hangs it up for me. "Thanks."

"You look great!" He exclamates as I turn around, giving me a side hug.

I smile, looking down at my outfit, straightening the fabric of my dress.

"Make yourself comfortable. I'm gonna check on the food." He runs off with me slowly walking behind.

As I walk around Jack's bachelor pad, I can't help but be captivated by the unique charm of his space. The walls are adorned with vibrant artwork, each piece telling its own story. The furniture has a modern yet cozy feel, with plush cushions and stylish accents. I notice a collection of vinyl records neatly displayed on a shelf, a testament to Jack's love for music. The room is filled with an inviting warmth, creating an ambiance that made me feel right at home.

While Jack is working his culinary magic in the kitchen, the delicious aroma wafts through the air, teasing my senses. I admire the sleek stainless steel appliances, evidence of his culinary prowess. The countertops are immaculate, with neatly arranged ingredients and utensils, showcasing his attention to detail.

As I explored further, I discovered little touches that reflects Jack's personality. A shelf filled with books, revealing his intellectual curiosity and love for reading. A guitar resting against the wall, hinting at his musical talents. It's clear that Jack had created a space that is not only stylish but also a reflection of his passions and interests.

The table Jack decorated for our date is absolutely stunning! He had put so much thought and effort into creating a romantic and inviting atmosphere. The centerpiece is a beautiful arrangement of fresh flowers, nearly resemblancing the ones him and Clay got me the day we met, their vibrant colors adding a touch of elegance to the table. Soft candlelight flickers, casting a warm glow that makes the whole setting feel cozy and intimate. The table is set with delicate china and sparkling glassware, making it clear that Jack had a keen eye for detail. It's as if he had transformed his bachelor pad into a magical dining experience just for the two of us.

With each step, I feel a growing connection to Jack, as if his space is an extension of his vibrant personality. It's a joy to witness him in his element, putting together a meal with skill and confidence.

As I make my way back to the kitchen, my admiration for Jack only deepens. I'm excited to sit down at the table, surrounded by the ambiance of his bachelor pad, and savor the delicious meal he had prepared with such care and attention.

I place my hands on the countertop, watching him intently as he sways across the kitchen, "You really put effort into this."

"I wanted to impress you." His cheeks turn a light shade of red. "And besides, you deserve it after the long week you had to resist at work. How was it, by the way? You didn't text me much about it."

"It was a hell of an adjustment. And scary, too." I sit down on one of the bar stools. "Like, this time I can't screw anything up. I can't make mistakes. A real-life company is depending on me for their financial situation."

"But you're doing great so far, right?" He takes the pot off the stove and places it on the wooden board in front of me.

"I haven't been called in for any bad work or received any warnings. I think I'm doing alright." I watch as he places a different pot on the same wooden board. "Should I get something to drink while you take those out?"

"Yeah, that would be great, thanks. I'll wait for you." He takes the food out to the beautifully decorated table.

I walk over to Jack's fridge and open it up, searching for something refreshing to drink. Among the array of options, I spot a bottle of freshly squeezed juice. I grab it, feeling the coolness of the glass against my hand, and make my way to the dining room where Jack is waiting for me.

"No wine?" He furrows his brows, but his face quickly shifts in realization. "Shit! I forgot to buy some for you. I'm sorry."

"It's fine. I think it's going that I'm going non-alcoholic with you. You're a good influence on me." I give him a playful wink.

With a suave and confident demeanor, Jack smoothly pulls out the chair for me. It's like something straight out of a romantic movie! He holds the chair steady, ensuring it's in the perfect position for me to sit comfortably. The small act makes me feel like a queen, like he is truly invested in making our dinner together a special occasion.

After gracefully pulling out the chair for me, Jack quickly moves to take his own seat. He tops both our glasses with juice, the freshness hitting my nostrils.

"I squeezed it this morning. It's pomegranate."

Jack dishes up the meal for both of us. I simply just sit and watch with hunger.

"Beef and broccoli stew." He states proudly. "I hope you like it."

Jack and I engage in lively conversation, our words flowing effortlessly between bites of the delicious food. The atmosphere is cozy and intimate, with the soft lighting casting a warm glow over our faces. We savor each bite, delighting in the flavors and textures of the meal.

The beef is so tender and juicy, cooked to perfection. And the broccoli adds a nice pop of green and a satisfying crunch to the dish. The stew itself has a rich and flavorful sauce that coats the beef and veggies, making every spoonful a burst of deliciousness. And of course, he made sure to scoop a hearty helping of fluffy rice on the side, creating the perfect balance of flavors.

"Would you like to move in with me?" I ask as I pop the last piece of broccoli in my mouth.

"Woah! It's only the first date. No need for such big steps yet." He chuckles and takes the dirty dishes back to the kitchen.

"But you can cook! Who wouldn't want to come home to this?" I slump behind him with the pots. "I can't believe girls run away from you."

"They run away 'cause I don't let them in." Grabbing the empty pots, he loads the dirty dishes in the dishwasher.

We venture out of the apartment for the next part of the date. The city lights twinkles in the distance as we make our way through the bustling streets. The moon cast a soft glow, illuminating our path as we walk, with me holding onto his arm. The park is bathed in a serene darkness, with only the dim glow of lampposts guiding our way. The air is cool, adding a sense of tranquility to our surroundings. They walk along the winding pathways, enjoying the peacefulness of the night. There's a tiny food truck ahead so we stop to by some hot drinks. We pause at a quiet spot, sitting down on a park bench, and look up at the night sky.

"Tonight was great." I grip onto the cup tightly. "Thank you for making it so special."

"The pleasure is mine." Jack looks at me for a few seconds, smiling. "I enjoyed your company."

"Does that mean we're doing this again?" I look at him hopefully.

"Definitely." He pauses, taking a sip of his drink. "I'm not missing spending time with you."

My face is practically burning at this moment, and my stomach is swirling with butterflies, "Jack, I feel the same way."

Our eyes meet, and in this moment, a spark ignites between Jack and I. We share a glance filled with warmth and affection. It's as if time stands still for a brief second, and there's a magnetic pull drawing us closer to each other. In each other's gaze, there is excitement and potential of what our time together could become. It's a silent understanding, a silent promise that we are both fully invested in this budding connection.

We snuggle close together. The air is crisp, and our breaths are visible as we engage in deep conversation, our words floating in the night air like puffs of steam. The park is quiet, only the distant sound of laughter and people talking audible. We share stories, dreams, and aspirations. Our laughter mingles with the sound of the rustling leaves that are still on the trees.

As we engage in heartfelt conversation, the sky above us begins to darken, and the first few raindrops fall. We exchange amused glances and quickly scramble to find shelter, laughing as we navigate our way through the raindrops. I can feel the dampness seeping through my clothes, but the thrill of the moment overweighs any discomfort.

Just as we find a small overhang to take cover under, Jack grabs my hand, a mischievous grin spreading across his face. "Wait up, Logan," he says, his eyes gleaming with mischief. "Let's not hide from the rain."

I raise my eyebrows, caught off guard by his suggestion. "Seriously?" I ask, my voice clearly filled with hesitation.

Jack's enthusiasm is infectious, and he pulls me closer, our hands still intertwined. "Absolutely! Come on! It'll be fun. I promise. The worst that could happen is that you get a cold afterward."

Taking a deep breath, I feel a surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins. I look into Jack's eyes, seeing the genuine joy and adventure in his gaze. With a smile, I nod, my heart pounding. "Alright, let's do it!"

We step out from under the overhang, our laughter blending with the sound of raindrops hitting the ground. I can feel the cool rain on my face, the droplets creating a symphony of sensations. Jack twirls me around, our movements fluid and carefree, as if we're the only two people in the world. In this moment, all worries and doubts fade away, replaced by the exhilaration and freedom of dancing in the rain with someone I'm starting to care about.

"Who knew dancing in the rain could be so fun?" Jack exclaims.

I chuckle, my heart racing. "I guess Mother Nature decided to be our DJ tonight," I reply, a mischievous glint in my eyes.

Jack twirls me around, his hand firmly holding mine. "Well, she's got great taste in music," he says, flashing me a charismatic smile.

We move together, our bodies swaying and our laughter contagious. The raindrops fall around us, creating a shimmering curtain of liquid diamonds. It's as if the world had faded away, leaving only the two of us in this enchanting moment.

"You've got some killer dance moves!" Jack teases, his eyes sparkling with delight.

I playfully nudge him. "Oh please, Jack, you're the one stealing the show with those smooth moves of yours," I retort, a playful grin spreading across my face.

We dance on, our steps becoming more daring and our laughter growing louder. The rain washes away any inhibitions, leaving us free to be ourselves, unapologetically.

"Logan, I've got to say, this is the most unique date I've ever been on," Jack confesses, his voice filled with genuine admiration.

I lean in closer, the raindrops mingling with the smile on my lips. "I knew from the start that everything between us would be surprising," I whisper, my heart swelling with affection.

As the rain continues to shower us with its blessings, we dance on, creating memories that would forever be etched in our hearts. I know that dancing in the rain with Jack is more than just a date. It's a celebration.

#jack harlow x reader #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow fluff #jack harlow x oc #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you #jackman thomas harlow

[seospicybin]

ON TOUR PREVIEW.

SOUNDCHECK

PART I OF ON TOUR SERIES.

Hyunjin x reader x Felix.

Synopsis: Your best friend, Felix is in a rock band and he takes you to join him on tour as the band's photographer. On the road, you gain a lot of more than just exciting new experiences.

Preview under the cut!

...

Han has his tongue out as he tries to catch his breath, standing facing the nig portable air conditioner to cool himself down.

Hyunjin is the last one to come backstage, practically drenched in sweat. His t-shirt is soaking wet that it's stuck to his body.

He sits on top of a box with his head down, sweat dripping from the end of his hair with the red hair dye fades into the white t-shirt he's wearing.

Felix puts his hand on your shoulder as a support, as he too, is running out of breath. The sleeveless top he's wearing is sticking to his skin despite it having two gaping holes on each side, exposing just enough to let everyone know he has toned abs under there.

Realizing that you unintentionally ogling at your best friend, you shake the thoughts away, quickly grabbing a bottled water nearby and uncap it for him.

"For the greatest drummer in the world," you switch the towel in his hand with it.

He's too exhausted to laugh at it that he can only grin, then takes a long, big gulp of water it spills out the corner of his mouth and dribbles down his chin. He finishes the whole bottle in under a minute.

With the already damp towel, you dab the sweat on his face and neck, carefully not ruining the make-up that somehow survives the extra moisture on his face.

A few minutes have passed with the crowd chanting for an encore when it's obvious that they need another few minutes of break.

You check the setlist taped to the wall and they have three songs to play for the encore. You wonder how they can still fully function after performing for more than two hours already.

"Whenever you're ready, boys!" Someone says, which you believe is coming from the manager.

Felix grabs another bottled water, not to drink it but pours it on his head to cool it off, he pushes his bleached blonde hair to the back with his fingers.

This is the kind of sight that would make the fans go wild, but what can you say? Guess tonight they're not lucky as you.

Felix takes the towel back from you to wipe the water dribbling down his neck, "do I look alright?" He asks with his eyes wide.

You saw the stylist put on mascara on him earlier and now it's slightly smudged with how much he sweats, but that only adds to the rockstar look. You decide to only wipe the excess under his eyes ever so slowly with your pinky finger.

"Let's get ready!" Han says as he looks around for the members despite he's still catching his breath.

Felix puts his hand away from your shoulder to get a clean towel, using it to dab fresh sweat on his face.

Behind him, something catches your eyes, the red of Hyunjin's hair and him casually taking his t-shirt off in front of everyone. Well, everyone is probably used to this but not you, you're the only one having a hard time trying not to look his way.

Look away, look away, you repeatedly tell yourself, but instead of doing that, you do the exact opposite.

You stare at his back figure and see the ridges his back muscles made as he puts a t-shirt over his head that eventually covers his smooth skin, glistening wet even under the poor lighting backstage.

Han once again takes the lead, walking up to Felix and tapping him on the shoulder repeatedly as if to transfer his energy to him.

"Let's go!" He excitedly tells him.

Felix always manages to catch you off guard, surprising you by pressing a kiss on the cheek and you can only give in to him.

"Be right back!" He says with a grin.

Hyunjin follows them not long after, but stopping at the side to dry his hair with a towel, you feel a few drops of his sweat land on your arms.

He briefly glances at you, then tosses the damp towel away before entering the stage again.

That one stare reminds you why you're still holding a grudge against him, but at the same time, you don't want it to ruin the night.

However, once Hyunjin plays his guitar, you forget all about it.

You feel the shiver down your spine, and it's getting intense as the guitar riffs he plays charmed you to keep watching.

And it's hard to do so because he's so blinding.

...

The full fic will be posted tomorrow!

#stray kids smut #skz smut #seospicy upcoming post #on tour preview #on tour series #part i soundcheck

[j-eryewrites]

Long, Long Time

Part Three of A Sinner’s Redemption

Previous | Next

SERIES MASTER LIST | MAIN MASTER LIST 

Word Count: 12.3k

Warnings: Language, mentions of death, mentions of mass killings, descriptions of gore and violence, dark topics concerning mentality. (Let me know if I missed anything)

Author’s Note: Piper and Ellie make up, we get a look into Piper’s past, and Joel starts to warm up to the girls. I had fun writing this chapter, but it’s gonna get a whole lot darker with these next few chapters so get ready for heavy angst. 

It was nice being out in the forest away from the city. Piper had never been out here before yet the longer she was breathing the fresh air and feeling the dirt and tree roots beneath her shoes she knew she never wanted to leave. The scent of the pine trees as their sticky sap oozed out of the bark filled her nose and the noise of the rushing river flooded her ears. 

Joel had come down earlier to do whatever Joel needed to do. Piper didn’t ask. She didn’t feel like talking. Her nose still hurt from when Ellie broke it a day prior. Since her nose still plagued her vital need to breathe, she had an even harder time talking without wincing in pain. 

As Piper neared the water, she saw Joel’s familiar figure crouched over the river bend. It looked like he was resting his swollen hand in the cool water trying to soothe his injury. 

Part of Piper wanted to go up next to Joel and treat her injuries near him. She knew Joel was safe and could barely be trusted; something that Piper loathed to admit. Instead, she slowed her step and turned farther downstream. She’d washed her blood-soaked face and clothes far away from Joel. It was the least she could do to be considerate after losing Tess. 

She missed Tess. It was another thing Piper didn’t want to admit. The young girl scolded herself for feeling an absence from Tess’s sacrifice. Piper had only known Tess a day and a half. Thirty-nine hours and seventeen minutes she had known the woman. That’s all it took. Thirty-nine hours and Tess was able to find a place in Piper’s heart. An accomplishment only her mother, Ellie, and Riley had achieved. An accomplishment that Piper began to fear was a curse. After all, three out of four of the achievement owners were dead. 

Piper shook the thoughts from her head and covered the aches of her heart as she stepped to the river’s edge. Her body ached as she crouched to the ground. Piper decided against squatting and instead sat on the pebbles and round rocks of the riverbed before dipping her hands underneath the crystal-clear surface of the water. 

It was cold. Really fucking cold water. Perfect. The water was even colder as Piper splashed it against her face. After a few more handfuls of water, the river beneath her turned a rusty red before disappearing. If Piper could see herself, she assumed the blood was washing away. She took extra care when splashing water near her nose and the bruising around her eyes that had formed. The ice-cold water felt nice. It soothed her skin and aching bones.

After a few minutes more of cleaning, Piper was finally satisfied. She leaned back away from the river’s edge and sighed. Water ran past her. Morning birds sang their songs from the tops of the trees. They were solemn songs. Although maybe that came from the hurt in Piper’s heart. Everything seemed a bit more depressing after yesterday's disaster. She lost Tess. She lost a part of Ellie. She lost another part of herself. Piper feared that she’d have no more if she lost once more. First was her mother. Second was her childhood. Third was Riley. Fourth was her freedom though Piper had lost that a long time ago. Fifth was Tess. Sixth was a piece of Ellie ergo, seven, a piece of her was also gone. 

On the river’s edge, Piper looked at the remaining pieces of her soul in the palms of her scared hands. The largest share of them all was Ellie. Piper had put a part of herself into Ellie long ago. With a promise, she had become Ellie’s. She felt a few tears fall as her mind brushed over the cracks in the piece. Each crack was deeper than the next, bringing more pain. One or two more cracks and that piece of Piper’s soul would be shattered beyond repair. Ellie was her soul. Ellie was her reason. Ellie was her promise. Ellie was her sister. Ellie. Ellie. Ellie. 

Piper sniffled and wiped away her tears. Ellie and she weren’t talking. Piper didn’t want to speak and neither did Ellie. They had fought. Piper could never remember a time when they did fight. Ellie was angry. Her anger was a scream in the three Fate’s faces. Piper’s anger was an acceptance. There was no screaming, no crying, or fighting. It was silent. It was patient. It was infinite. An anger that could never be satisfied. An anger that one could only be born with. 

Piper sighed. It was growing cold. Her hands were numbed from the river. Her face was damp with its cleansing. No amount of water from the river could ever baptize her anger away. She was born a sinner cursed to fall deeper and deeper into the depths of hell. 

She groaned as she pushed herself up into a standing position. Piper didn’t bother looking back at the river before finding her way back to the makeshift camp. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

“I’m in a motherfucking tree!” Ellie exclaimed as she hugged the trunk of a gigantic pine tree. It was amazing. The thrill of the adrenaline pumping into her veins from the height and the exercise was more than enough to brighten Ellie’s countenance. The air never felt fresher here in the forest. Despite the lack of car exhaust, the QZ’s air always felt stiff almost like you wanted to choke on it. 

Here in the forest a distance away from the Boston QZ the air was air. That’s all Ellie could describe it as. This shit was the real deal. It was real fucking air. It was air that she could breathe freely without coughing. Her lungs cheered as fresh oxygen flavoured with pine and spruce filled the organ to its limits. 

Ellie chuckled at herself. She was throwing a fit over the air quality. Instead of fangirling over the air in her lungs, Ellie decided to move her sights to the view in front of her. 

Being up in the trees high above the ground really allowed Ellie to have the cleanest view of the horizon. Testing her grip, Ellie raised her thumb in front of her to measure the distance the sun was from the ground. She squinted her eyes to get the exact measurement, but the sun was too bright for her to see clearly. Suddenly her grip slipped and some bark from the trunk scraped off and tumbled to the ground. 

“Fuck…” Ellie nervously said to herself as she tightened her hold on the branches keeping her up. 

The ground seemed miles away and Ellie scolded herself. She hadn’t realized how high she had climbed up the tree. Her mind was blinded by the child-like excitement of having the opportunity to climb a tree. Maybe it was time to climb back down. Yet as Ellie’s foot fumbled beneath her, she felt her stomach drop and her palms sweat even more. 

“Shit!” Ellie cried out as she quickly readjusted her grip. Her arms were growing sore. Her mind was screaming at her. She was going to fall. She didn’t feel very brave anymore as the height from the ground taunted her. Maybe Joel was right to warn her and Piper about the boardwalk in the city being scary. 

A branch snapped below and Ellie shut her eyes tight. 

“Need some help there?” Piper asked. 

Ellie’s eye’s opened as she realized she was in no danger of falling…yet. The sight of her sister seemingly irked Ellie. 

“Oh now you talk to me,” Ellie scoffed. The tone of fear was horribly concealed in her voice. 

Piper rolled her eyes and Ellie was amazed that she could see it from where she sat in the tree. Maybe she wasn’t as high up as she originally thought, thought Ellie. Yet when she looked back at the ground the tree seemed to grow in height. Fuck. 

“I’ll help you down,” Piper said and Ellie’s fear seemed to dissipate. “…only if you apologize.” 

“Piper!!” Ellie called out her voice wavering. 

Piper chuckled and Ellie was sure she was rolling her eyes again. However, her mind was a bit more occupied with not falling to her death.

 “You broke my fucking nose, Ellie!” Piper said before clutching the area near her nose. It hurt just talking to Ellie and the angle of her head wasn’t helping with the pain. There was a pause in Piper’s voice as she waited for what, Ellie assumed, was an apology. 

If it was an apology her sister wanted then no fucking way. Piper deserved it. Piper deserved it for–now Ellie wasn’t so sure. 

“...Fine, figure out how to climb down then. If you fall, I’m sure Joel will be just fine taking me to the Fireflies and leaving you behind,” Piper sang as she turned to walk away. Piper winced at her own words. She wouldn’t be fine if Ellie fell. Christ, what was she doing? 

“…Piper! please... I’m sorry, I was–” Ellie shouted. 

“I don’t need an explanation, shithead. Sorry is all I wanted.” Piper explained before returning back to the trunk of the tree. She had to crane her head back quite far to see Ellie’s predicament. 

“Okay, Jesus! How do I get down?” Ellie questioned. She was eager to have her feet touch the ground once more. 

“It’s just climbing backwards. Step down and then move your grip down as well.”

Ellie nodded and tried to do as Piper said when another piece of bark fell to the ground halting Ellie’s movements. “Piper…!?” Ellie pleaded. 

“You’ve got it,” Piper encouraged, …worst case scenario you fall, and break a limb.”

“Piper!” 

“What? Consider it payback for my broken nose,” Piper muttered. 

“I thought you forgave me,” Ellie said as she finally dared to move her body a branch down. 

“No,” Piper corrected. “Just said sorry was enough. 

“Pip–” Ellie said before the snapping of a branch froze her progress. 

Ellie looked down to seek her sister’s comfort, but Piper was no longer looking at her. Ellie followed her sister’s gaze and found Joel. He had an unreadable look on his face as he glanced from Piper to Ellie high up in the tree. After a few moments of observing the fiasco in front of him, Joel heaved a sigh and turned away. 

Ellie took another step down. Her fear of falling and the height dissipated as she grew more confident in her descent. Ellie took another step and then another. Soon the ground was in sight and all Ellie had to do was make the final jump. Her feet hit the floor and she gasped in relief. 

“There you go! You got it.” Piper congratulated her sister with a slight shove. “Why the fuck did you climb a tree if you couldn’t climb down?” Piper laughed. 

Ellie punched her sister’s arm in retort. 

“What?!” Piper rubbed her sore arm. “I was just asking, Jesus.” Then Piper punched her sister in return. Now they were even so long as Ellie didn’t hit back. 

“I don’t know…” Ellie replied. Her voice was no louder than a whisper. Even so, Piper heard her. 

“Yeah, sure.” Piper turned away from her sister and looked over at Joel who was shuffling through his bag. His hand was looking better so soaking it in the river must have done it some good. The next thing Piper noticed was the tiny bumps along Joel’s forearm. He was cold. “You want your jacket back?” Piper blurted out. Her mouth moved faster than her mind. She quickly yanked Joel’s jacket off her back and stuck it out to him. “Mine’s dried now,” Piper muttered. 

Joel just stared at the jacket in her hand. His face was stoic and unmoving. Piper began to think that maybe Joel didn’t want the jacket back since she tainted it with her blood. She was sure she washed it out. Still, Joel did not take the jacket.

Piper sighed and turned to look back at Ellie over her shoulder. Her sister was now sitting comfortably against the tree with the majority of her body in contact with the dirt floor 

There was a thud against Piper’s chest and her hands instinctively reached to catch it. Piper was soon to discover that in her hands lay food. It was what was left over from Joel’s sandwich. Just enough for her and her sister to take a few bites. For a moment, Piper stared at Joel in awe before shaking the expression and passing the food onto Ellie. The younger one needed it more than her. 

Ellie happily took the leftover meal and shoved it into her mouth. “I've never been in the woods,” Ellie said with her mouth full. Her heart had finally calmed down from the adventure of a few minutes prior. “More bugs than I thought,” Ellie noted. It was an invitation for someone to speak. More of an invitation to Joel. Piper had already spoken to Ellie today. When no one spoke, Ellie tried a new tactic. “Look, I've been thinking about…

“I don't want your sorries,” Joel spat. 

Piper sent Ellie a warning glare. She knew that it was too early to talk about it. However, Ellie ignored her sister’s silent advice.

“I wasn't gonna say I'm sorry,” Ellie barked back at Joel. “I was gonna say that I've been thinking about what happened. Nobody made you or Tess take me and Piper. Nobody made you go along with this plan. You needed a truck battery or whatever, and you made a choice. So don't blame me for something that isn't my fault.” 

Piper froze at Ellie’s words. It was the truth. The cold-hearted, brutal truth. Piper glanced nervously at Joel worried that in his silent anger and grief that the worst would happen. His previous threats from before resurfaced in the young woman’s mind. Instead of growing anger in Joel’s face, Piper saw a softness. Joel knew what Ellie was saying was the truth. There was no one to blame. 

The weight of Joel’s jacket carried Piper’s arms down. In his moment of weakness, Piper handed him the jacket. Joel took the clothing from her hands and placed it into his bag. “How much longer?” She asked changing the tense subject. 

“Five-hour hike,” Joel stated. 

Ellie smirked to herself. Now both Piper and Joel were talking again. “We can manage that.”

꧁_____________꧂ 

Piper was surprised to discover that there was a trail to follow. She was sure after twenty years since outbreak day that the forest would be overrun with ferns and other plants. Yet here she was, her feet moving step by step on a dirt path. While it wasn’t as defined as it would have been years ago, it was still enough for Joel to know where he was going. 

He had taken this path many times to Bill and Frank’s. Being in the forest was one of his favourite parts, yet his countenance did not show it. It was a place where he could relax a bit. Just like Piper, Joel appreciated how in the thick of nature there was no one. The Infected stayed near the cities and places with people for them to turn. FEDRA existed in the big cities and the FIREFLIES existed wherever FEDRA was. The raiders kept to themselves but close enough to those that they could raid. There was nothing out here in nature for any of them. Nothing out here except Joel, Piper, and Ellie.

Joel hiked along the path. Ellie was a step behind him and Piper was behind her.  The thick mixture of vibrant green leaves and web-like branches provided the three of them with protection from the harsh heat of the sun. A cover that soon would fade the closer they got to their destination. 

While Piper and Joel were content to enjoy the peaceful silence that the forest provided, Ellie was not. “You've gone this way a lot? No Infected?” Ellie asked Joel. 

“Not often, no,” Joel replied. 

After a while of Ellie’s continual talking the group reached the end of the trail. The dirt path and the tall grass halted as the concrete river cut through the forest. Unlike all other roads, this one was clear. There was not a rusted car in sight. Joel paused for a moment. His head looked side to side before he stepped out from the cover of the treetops, his boot coming into contact with the road underneath. 

“What are you looking out for?” Ellie questioned Joel’s actions. 

“People,” Joel uttered. He was a man of few words and each word he spoke told Ellie he’d rather be doing anything else than answering her questions of child-like curiosity. 

“Oh,” Ellie replied, taking the hint to calm her mouth. 

The sun was unforgiving as it bared down on the trio. Piper rolled up her sleeves and readjusted her backpack so that the coarse material hardly touched her back. Ellie had removed her jacket and tied it around her waist with her sleeves rolled up just like her sister. After a few more minutes of the heat, she stopped to roll up her pants so that they looked more like botched capris. Joel seemed to be taking the heat well. He made no move to cool himself down. 

Ellie considered complaining about the heat but decided against it. She wasn’t the only one suffering from the heat. Instead, she did what she did best, she talked. “Are Bill and Frank nice?”

“Frank is,” Joel stated. 

Piper raised her brow up at Joel, not that he could see her. “So if Frank is nice, then what is Bill?” Piper found herself asking. She would rather be prepared to deal with someone not-so-nice than not at all. 

Joel just looked back at the girl and answered her with a look in his eyes that said ‘I think you know.’ 

“How'd you get that scar on your head?” Ellie asked, catching sight of the scar as the sun glared down on it. 

Joel stopped in his tracks and turned around to the two girls behind him with his hands on his hips. This provided the perfect opportunity for the two girls to reach his sides and walk alongside Joel. 

“What? Is it something lame?” Ellie prodded. She turned to Piper and nudged her arm. “What if he fell down the stairs or something?” 

This earned a smile from Piper. “Maybe he got into a fight with a cat or walked into a door,” Piper giggled.

The two girls were talking about Joel as if he wasn’t there. It reminded me of something he lost during the outbreak. The conversations that his brother and daughter would have whilst he was in the room sounded all too similar to the words coming from Piper and Ellie’s mouths. The pain was threatening to storm his heart. He changed the subject. 

“I didn't fall down any stairs,” Joel said. He should have known those few words wasn’t enough for Ellie to stop talking.  

“Okay, so what then?” Ellie questioned. 

“Someone shot at me and missed,” Joel sighed. 

“See,” Ellie nudged her sister again, “that's cool.” Then Ellie craned her head up to look at Joel. “You shoot back?”

“Yeah,” Joel said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. 

“You get him?” 

“No, I missed too. It happens more often than you think,” Joel explained. 

“Piper doesn’t miss,” Ellie said proudly looking at her sister. “There’s a reason why FEDRA started using her at 12 years old–” 

For a moment Joel’s eyes flashed a look of intrigue at the two girls before it disappeared as quickly as it came. Piper cleared her throat and looked over at her sister. Ellie knew that look. Her sister’s dark brown eyes were telling her to shut up. 

Except Ellie didn’t want to stop talking. If she stopped talking she’d be thinking more about the unbearable heat. Instead, she continued to pester Joel. “'Cause you suck at shooting or, like, in general?” 

“In general,” Joel answered. His hand unconsciously dropped down to hover over the rifle at his side. 

Ellie’s curious eyes followed Joel’s bruised hand to the gun. She glanced over to Joel’s other side. He had two guns. More than enough to share with her. 

“You know, seeing as it's just the three of us, I was thinking I should pro–” and before Ellie could finish her proposal, both Joel and Piper exclaimed. “No.” 

“Oh for fucks sake,” Ellie grumbled. She looked at her sister with pleading puppy eyes. A secret weapon of Ellie’s. However, the heat of the sun must have negated its effects because Piper was glaring at her sister asking her to try and get a gun. At this rate, Ellie felt like she was never going to get a gun. 

Even in her brooding, Ellie was quick to notice the decrease in Joel’s pace. His steps got shorter and his speed slowed down as they approached a big yellow sign pointing to a building off the road. The words had faded so much over time that Ellie couldn’t make out anything. Instead, she turned her focus on the building Joel was now approaching. 

The building itself was a small gas station.  It looked like it could have been home once with the wrap-around wood porch and style in which the building had been constructed. There were broken power lines that haven’t been used in over two decades. The long black wires flowed in the breeze of the summer day. The parking lot had been overgrown with weeds, tall grass, and some budding trees whose roots were destroying the unnatural concrete day by day. Like all other places Piper and Ellie had been to, there were broken-down cars in the back of the parking lot. The tires had all been sliced open, doors rusted shut and windows shattered. All signs of the post-apocalyptic world. 

As they got closer, Ellie could see the corroded ice coolers alongside the building. She knew they were ice coolers because the big bold red letters were still visible even twenty years later. She smiled, proud that she knew what they were, maybe FEDRA school wasn’t that shit of a school anyway. 

“Cumberland Farms,” Joel stated as if he knew the girls would ask him what this place was called. He turned around to face the girls who were looking around in awe. He forgot that they had probably never had some of this stuff back in the QZ. “Hang back a minute. I gotta grab some stuff I stashed.”

“Stashed?” That piqued Ellie’s interest. Joel winced at her words. He knew he shouldn’t have said anything. “Why do you have stuff stashed here?” Ellie asked. 

“You ask a lot of goddamn questions,” Joel grumbled as he marched up the steps into the gas station. 

“Yes, I do,” Ellie said proudly. Questions were one thing she was good at. “So, are you gonna answer me or what?” 

“We hide supplies on routes in case we find ourselves short on gear, which I currently am 'cause…” Joel waved his hand around motioning to the gun and his backpack. 

Piper nodded in understanding. It was smart to have a stash place. She had one herself in the QZ just in case something happened. Ellie never thought it was necessary. In fact, her sister told her on a few occasions that it was stupid to save stuff for a rainy day. 

Speaking of Ellie, the young girl dashed to the side of the room. Her eyes lit with a fire of excitement at a busted arcade game. It seemed like time had been kinder to the machine as the only noticeable damage was the cracked screen and the layer of dust that covered it in its entirety. “

No way! You ever play this one?” Ellie asked. Neither Piper nor Joel was sure who she was asking and instead chose to ignore her. “I had a friend” who knew everything about this game. There's this one character named Mileena who takes off her mask and she has monster teeth, and then she swallows you whole and barfs out your bones! Ah. Oh, man.” Ellie’s excitement turned sombre. Her expression faltered as she glanced at her dusty reflection in the cracked glass. It was Riley who loved this game so much. It was Riley who showed her the arcade in the old mall. It was Riley who died in that old mall. Riley– “You forgot where you put your stuff.” 

“No,” Joel scoffed as he pushed over shelves and moved debris around the room. “I'm just zeroing in on it. It's been a couple of years.”

Piper chuckled as she helped Joel move things around, which earned her a glare from Joel. Piper took that as her sign to back off and give the old man some space for a bit.  

“Okay, well, I'm gonna take a look around, see if there's anything good. Ellie, come on,” Piper said. She spotted a back room and looked at Ellie. It seemed like the two girls had the same idea. 

“Trust me, it's all been picked over already,” Joel explained. 

“Maybe, maybe not,” Ellie smiled. She looked back at Piper knowing her sister’s insane skills to find things in ‘looked-over’ places. “Is there anything bad in here?” 

“Just you,” Joel mumbled. 

Ellie rolled her eyes and stepped into the backroom. “Ah. Getting funnier.”

The back room was in a horrific condition compared to the rest of the run-down gas station. Piper and Ellie could hardly see the ground underneath their feet. Without a word, the two girls got to work moving around the pieces of collapsed ceiling, a stray desk from the middle of the room, and discarded glass bottles and junk. After moving one particularly large chunk of debris a dome of dust kicked into the air and into Piper’s lungs sending the young girl into a coughing fit. 

Ellie was giggling at her sister’s struggle with the dust cloud when she spotted a latched door on the floor. She crouched down and started to move over the clutter of things covering the hatch. 

“Ellie, find anythi–What are you doing?” Piper wheezed, the dust still lodged in her lungs. Ellie’s brow furrowed in determination. All her focus was on getting the hatch open. 

“Ellie.” Piper coughed. 

“What?” Ellie looked up at her sister and laughed. Piper was covered in dust from head to toe. It looked as if she could have been a statue that had been sitting in the back room for twenty years. 

Piper rolled her eyes and dusted herself off as best she could. “Yeah, yeah, go ahead and laugh.” Once Piper was done, she spotted the object of Ellie’s fixation. “Move over. We’re gonna push this off together,” Piper instructed Ellie as she retrieved her flashlight from her bag. Ellie moved over slightly and got ready to push the remaining blockage off the door.  “On three. One, two, three–” 

“You alright back there?” Joel’s voice cut off Piper.

“Yep!” The girls uttered in a strained voice as they finally cleared the door. With a creak the hatch was open.

Piper stuck out her open hand to her sister.  “Give me your knife.” 

“Why?” Ellie asked. 

“Cause I’m going down there first,” Piper explained. Ellie opened her mouth to refute when Piper continued. “To make sure there’s nothing down there.” 

Ellie sighed and reached into her pocket to pull out the knife. Her morbid curiosity would have to wait until Piper gave the all-clear. Even so, Ellie did not do so without grumbling. 

“Thanks,” Piper said before hopping down into the cellar.

It was a short and soft landing. Once Piper had found her ground, the flashlight went up alongside Ellie’s switchblade. The soundtrack to her brief sweep of the cellar was Ellie’s grumbling. Piper rolled her eyes at her sister’s weakness in showcasing some patience. By the end of her search, Ellie’s grumbling had turned into quiet puppy whines that seemed to echo in the cellar. 

“Jesus, fuck! Fine, come down Ellie,” Piper hissed. 

Ellie doesn’t miss a beat dropping down into the cellar. Her sister’s landing wasn’t as graceful as hers, but Ellie showed no sign of stopping as she jumped to her feet and began to scavenge the empty cellar. Piper clenched her jaw and decided that their way out of this cellar was a better use of her time. As luck would have it there was a metal garbage can near the hatch door. It was tall enough and sturdy enough to serve as a stepping stool for the two girls. 

Piper rolled the trash can over to the spot they had dropped down onto not moments before when Ellie triumphantly cheered. 

“Fսck yeah!” Ellie waved around a fresh unopened pack of tampons. Piper smiled at her sister and made a step to congratulate her when a sickening snarl filled the air. It was low and quiet and could only come from the cellar. 

Piper darted to her sister’s side and flashed the light around. The switchblade in Piper’s hand was ready to be used at any second. Ellie stepped behind her sister and used her own light to look around. 

It was Ellie’s beam that caught sight of the Infected first. Like a spotlight, the two flashlights landed on the body caught underneath a foot's worth of brick, stone, and debris. It was a pathetic excuse for an Infected, as it flailed around trying to reach the girls. It growled at them with silent sorrow. Its’ yellow eyes glossed over reflecting the light from their flashlights back at the girls. It almost looked human if it weren’t for the fungus that was creeping outside of the creature’s cracked skull.

Piper was mesmerized by its sorrow. A creature that was the cause of the downfall of the world lay trapped in its own undoing. Still, the thing was still so desperate to get out, to get to the girls, to feed, to bite, and to convert. Its’ life’s only purpose was keeping the monster going in the dark, cold, and wet cellar of a broken-down gas station. Piper felt a bile rise in her stomach looking at it. The sick wasn’t from the creature itself, but her own mind. She saw herself in that thing. She was buried under the pressures of life and the traumas of her mind. The one thing keeping her going in the sinister trap of her mind was the promise. It’s you and me until the end. 

Ellie’s mind had a different path set. The years of anger and pain came boiling up to the surface. The hot liquid of her sorrows only fueled her fury. Ellie found herself stepping closer and closer to the Infected. She only stopped until she was just out of arm's reach of the creature. The perfect taunt. She watched how the creature writhed in pain as it put everything in its being to reach her. It was only fair for it to suffer. It was the thing that destroyed the world. It was the thing that brought an end to the things she loved and the life she could have lived. Her legs bent down as she crouched to the ground. Ellie’s thought was a wire with a new purpose. In her blood, was the cure. The end to the end. She’d save everyone. She’d save Piper. She’d saved them all for those she couldn’t save. She put an end to each creature. Let the people go and the monster dies. She hoped that her blood would make them suffer. She hoped that something in her made them shrivel up and die. It was only fair. Pain for pain. Suffering for suffering. However, Ellie wasn’t sure how much pain was enough. Maybe nothing ever will be. 

Silently, Ellie extended her hand behind her. Her finger stretched out to Piper. There was only one thing she could want, and so Piper obliged. It was the only thing she could ever do. Ellie was her purpose and Ellie asked. 

With the shiny silver switchblade in hand, Ellie raised it to the creature. Its’  eye followed her movements. The failing stopped as it realized its defeat. Its purpose would be its end. And in the Infected’s acceptance, Ellie sliced open the decaying skin of its head. There was a thud. A sickening gasp followed. Then all fell quiet. The Infected dead with Ellie’s blade lodged in the centre of its head. Its’ lifeless eye on the young girl, frozen on the spot. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

He finally found it. Joel leaned over and pulled out his spare supplies as he grumbled to himself. He was getting old and was sure that his mind would never be able to remember this spot again. He contemplated finding a different spot, but then it would just make it easier for raiders and other stragglers to find the gear. However, Joel was smart. With a quick look in his bag and a scan of the supplies, he concluded that he could just take it all with him. 

A few canned foods, ammo, and some first aid supplies were all stuffed into his bag. He stood up and lugged the bag onto his back. It was heavy and would slow down his step, but that was better than some other fucker getting his goods. As he adjusted the bag, the sound of silence grew louder in Joel’s ear. With how loud the two girls seemed to be, silence was never a good thing. 

“Ellie? Piper?” Joel called out. His words were met with the clanking of metal, yet there was no reply. His throat tightened and he felt his heart pick up in pace. “Girls!” Joel yelled. Again there was silence. He cocked his gun and walked to the back room. The door was closed. “Ellie? Piper?” Joel said as he turned the doorknob and pushed the door open with the tip of his gun. 

“Picked over, my ass,” Ellie uttered as she flung the door open and walked out of the back room. She waved the Tampax in Joel’s face with a smug look on her face.  

Then Piper came out behind her. “You better fucking share with me,” she told her sister. 

“You wish,” Ellie joked as she opened the Tampax box taking a handful and stuffing them into her bag. Then she handed Piper the rest to carry in her bag. 

Joel watched the two girls as they shared the tampons like popcorn, passing them back and forth until they were split evenly. The girls were fine. Good. Joel turned around and made his way back to the storage spot before dropping his empty rifle into the hole.  

“What are you doing?” Ellie asked as she watched the weapon be discarded. 

“There's not much ammo out there for this thing. Makes it mostly useless,” Joel explained. 

“Well, if you're just gonna leave it there,” Ellie suggested.  

“No,” Joel growled. The last thing he needed was a teenager with a gun; loaded or not.  Without another word, Joel trudged to the door and out of the gas station. 

“I’ll get you a gun, sooner or later,” Piper whispered to her sister. She patted her sister on the back and made her way to follow Joel. 

“This one?” Ellie asked with a pleading look in her eye. 

Piper turned around to look at Ellie. “Nah,” Piper shook her head. “no ammo. Plus how the fuck would we hide the thing from Joel?” 

Ellie nodded solemnly. Her sister's promise did somewhat ease her want for the weapon. Hell, Piper promised, and when Piper promises she keeps them. It was something that Ellie knew well. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

“People are driven by fear and desire,” Levi told Piper. “The two sides of the same coin that everyone carries with them.”

Piper swung her legs back and forth on the ledge and nodded her head in acknowledgement. Her mouth was occupied with the sandwich whose ingredients were smuggled into the QZ. 

Piper liked Levi. He was a guard working for FEDRA and he had a soft spot for her. He gets smuggled goods for her and her sister and treats Piper to ham and strawberries. Food that people would kill for in the QZ. Yet for some reason, Levi got them for her. 

As the two of them sat on the playground in the QZ watching the other kids play, Piper couldn’t help but think that Levi was an older brother of sorts. While she watched over Ellie, Levi watched over her. He showed her the ropes, told her the places to avoid, and told her to trust in him and only him. He’d keep her safe. 

“Piper!” Ellie screeched as she ran up to her sister on the swing set. The young girl tapped Piper on the shoulder and ran away as she screamed “You’re it.” 

Piper giggled as got up running after Ellie and the other children who were playing. It was only fair if she got Ellie back for tagging her. It’s how these games went. It might as well have been called tag the person who tagged you or tag back. 

A whistle blew and the children were ushered back inside the facility. The sun had set over the city. The sky was a bright orange merging with the dark purple of the night. Levi wasn’t sitting on the ledge when Piper looked behind to say goodnight. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Despite the warmth of the sun falling down on Piper, there was a chill under her skin. It was chill and seemed like it would never go away with how fast it spread on her body. 

Joel and the girls were walking along a dirt road. Green hills of grass and wildflowers were found alongside the road. Green leaves from the trees near the street shimmered in the sun like diamonds as they rattled in the breeze. Birds sang their songs and all was peaceful. 

“Holy sh¡t!” Ellie exclaimed as she pointed to the top of a hill near the road. “You fly in one of those?”

Piper turned her head to look where was pointing. It was a plane. In all its glory shattered in pieces against the ground. It was a distance away, yet Piper could clearly see inside the machine with the wings and side ripped off from the impact. She had heard a few tales from her teachers in the QZ about planes. Something that would take you into the sky and you’d be across the country in a few hours. It seemed impossible, but so did the outbreak. 

“A few times, sure,” Joel noted. He didn’t pay the plane much attention as he continued to walk along the path. 

“So lucky,” Piper muttered. 

“Didn't feel like it at the time,” Joel grumbled. “Get shoved into a middle seat, pay 12 bucks for a sandwich.”

“Dude, you got to go up in the sky!” Ellie said with all the excitement her vocal cords could produce.  

“Yeah, well, so did they, “Joel replied. 

Piper’s eyes widened. Ellie’s excitement had been killed. “Grim. So, everything came crashing down in one day; literally and figuratively?” Piper asked as she pointed to the plane on the hill. 

“Pretty much,” Joel said. 

Ellie pursed her lips in confusion. “How? I mean... no one was infected with Cordyceps, everybody's fine, eating in restaurants and flying in planes. And then, all at once? How did it even start? If you have to get bit to be infected, then who bit the first person? Was it a monkey? I bet it was a monkey!” 

Joel sighed. “It wasn't a monkey. I thought you went to school.” 

“FEDRA school,” Piper spat. “They don't teach us how their shitty government failed to prevent a pandemic.” 

Joel rubbed the back of his neck. Both at a pause for Piper’s statement, but also how to answer Ellie so that the creation of more questions could be squandered.

“No one knows for sure, but, best guess... Cordyceps mutated. And some of it got into the food supply. Probably a basic ingredient like flour or sugar. There were certain brands of food that were sold everywhere, all across the country, across the world. Bread, cereal... pancake mix. You eat enough of it, it'll get you infected. So the tainted food all hits the store shelves around the same time, Thursday. People bought it, and ate some Thursday night or Friday morning. Day goes on... they started to get sick. Afternoon, and evening, they got worse. Then they started bitin'. Friday night, September 26, 2003. And by Monday, everything was gone.” 

Ellie kicked the ground. “I like the monkees idea better,” she mumbled. 

Piper chuckled and then turned to Joel.”It makes more sense than monkeys. Thanks.” 

“Sure,” was all Joel could say. Then he halted. His step was unsure as he glanced back at the girls. 

“What?” Piper asked, noticing Joel’s hesitancy. 

“We'll cut across the woods here,” Joel instructed. 

Ellie raised her brow. “Isn't the road easier?” 

“Yeah, it's just…” Joel paused. “There's stuff up there you shouldn't see.”

Ellie smirked. “Well, now I have to see.” 

Joel raised his hand out in front of Ellie as she tried to find the source of Joel’s concern. “I don't want you to. Serious.” 

“Ellie, come on,” Piper said.  

Ellie turned around and walked backwards as she conversed with Piper and Joel. “Can it hurt me?” Ellie asked. 

“No,” Joel said too quickly for his own liking. The quick remark only furthered Ellie’s curiosity as her pace quickened into a jog. Her curiosity only grew with each step closer to whatever it was that Joel didn’t want her to see.

Joel sighed and cursed himself. He was rusty and forgot the power of a kid’s curiosity. You say no and the kid is gonna do exactly what you just said. 

“You're too honest,” Piper told Joel as they walked over to where Ellie stood. It seemed like she found what Joel was trying to conceal. “Should've said ax murderer,” Piper smiled. 

Joel had to double-look to make sure he saw Piper correctly. She had just smiled and made a joke. It was something he was sure was only reserved for Ellie. Despite this newfound discovery, Joel’s face remained ever as stern. 

“Fuck…,” Ellie muttered once Piper and Joel were standing right next to her. “Uh... whatever it was... think it's gone.”

Piper agreed. Fuck about summed up the horrific mass grave in front of them. Charred bones were sticking out of an enormous pile of ash. The two girls could make out skulls of all different shapes and sizes. Some of the smaller bones, Ellie was sure, could only belong to a baby. She felt sick to her stomach, with only one question on her mind–why?

Joel could sense the unease coming from the two girls. It’s not every day you find yourself standing over the graves of dozens of people. “About a week after Outbreak Day,” Joel began to explain,” soldiers... went through the countryside, and evacuated the small towns. Told you you were goin' to a QZ, and you were... if there was room. If there wasn't…”

Piper’s throat tightened as memories flashed in her mind. Screaming children, begging parents, pleading people all praying for a chance to survive. She turned away and walked to the other side of the road. Her hands clutched so tightly her nails were breaking the skin. It was the only way to calm herself down. Pain for pain. The commands echoed in her mind. 

‘There’s no room. I’d say it's time for some target practice.’

A gun was placed in her hand. A shot rang out. Then another. Screams filled the air. The horror of a trapped animal brought to the slaughter. Practice makes perfect and so Piper never missed a shot. 

Joel can see the horror in Piper’s eyes as she walks away. Her glossy dark brown eyes reflect the torture of her soul so clearly that Joel isn’t even sure he saw it. It’s a look of a lifetime of pain. A look he always finds in the mirror. His heart wrings itself at the thought. Part of him wants to console her, yet he knows he has no right. Instead, Joel stands still next to Ellie staring at the corpses of the past. 

“These people weren't sick?” Ellie dared to ask. 

“No,” Joel shook his head. “Probably not.” 

Ellie’s face paled. “Why kill them? Why not just leave 'em be?” 

The hurt in Ellie’s voice was what sent Piper over the edge. As the contents of her stomach spilled onto the side of the dirt road, Piper was glad that she hadn’t eaten anything this morning. She’d rather have her throat burn than waste any food. 

Joel clenched his eyes shut at the sound of Piper’s sick. “Dead people can't be infected.”

꧁_____________꧂ 

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. 

The words rang like a bell forcing Piper to remember every minute of every hour of every day. She was guilty. There was no doubt about it. No one could protect her. Levi was gone and Piper was alone to fend for herself against FEDRA. 

No one cried any tears when the twelve-year-old received her verdict. It was all swept under the rug along with the bodies and the lies. Piper wished someone could cry for her because no tears seemed to fall from her eyes. She wanted to cry but everything was numb. 

The hallways were empty as she returned to her room. Her face and shirt were wet, but not with tears. Everything was quiet. The floor didn’t creek like it used to under her feet. The running water never dripped or splashed as Piper baptized herself under the tap. The towel never rustled against her skin and hair. The bed never groaned and squeaked as she laid down next to her shivering sister. 

Piper couldn’t sleep and she was sure she never would again for her mind was trapped in its own self-inflicted prison. 

Guilty. Guilty. Guilty. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Silver fence as far as the eye could see. It looked so out of place wrapped around the small town full of brightly coloured homes and buildings. The barbed wires and warnings of electric death only furthered Piper’s concern about the whole ordeal. She remembered what Joel had told them earlier. Frank was nice and Bill…Piper imagined Bill to be the death trap of a fence protecting the sweet and welcoming town inside. Part of her hoped that she wasn’t true. 

Joel’s face tensed as he looked at the neighbourhood in front of him. It felt dead. Even the world inside the fence seemed stale, a fate Frank would rather die than see come to pass. “Stay there,” Joel told the girls as he approached the gate. The girls ignored him and continued to walk alongside him. 

Four buttons are pressed on the keypad. A ching noise rang out. The gate was opened and they all stepped inside allowing Joel’s concern to grow.

 “What the fսck? Bill? Frank?” Joel called out as his pace quickened. He marched to a large white house. Pots once filled with beautiful blooming flowers now lay wilted. The sun had soaked up every source of life on the street. “You two stay there. Ya hear anything, you see anything... yell,” Joel commanded as he opened the black door with peeling paint.

The girls paused for a moment before entering the home after Joel. It was beautiful. Walls painted vibrant colours that Piper and Ellie had never seen before. The blue in the living room called out to Piper beckoning her, and at that moment she knew what her favourite colour was. There was a couch untouched by moths and time, a piano in perfect condition, paintings and art supplies stuffed in a corner of the room, and a rug that wasn’t covered in dirt and mud. For a moment, the two girls could finally imagine what it was like before the outbreak. At last, the two girls could see what a real home could look like. 

“What if they're gone?” Ellie whispered to Piper as she strolled into the dining room. Wine bottles open, glasses lay empty, and leftover food lay rotting. 

Piper found herself gliding over to the piano. She had only heard of these things before and only once had she heard one being played. Another kid in the QZ had a tape of piano songs. Piper only got to hear it once before it was taken away. Curiosity got the better of the girl and she lifted up the covering for the keys. The white and black keys glistened in the sunlight that crept through the window. Her fingers hovered over the keys waiting for the right moment. She had to remember this for the rest of her life. Her pointer finger found a key and pushed it down and the piano sang. It was a chord that struck her soul. 

“Ellie? Piper?” Joel said as he walked back into the main room. He saw Piper’s awe of the piano. He could see the love she had for the instrument. There was a shuffling behind him causing Joel to turn around. 

Ellie raised a slip of paper into the air as she sat down on one of the chairs at the dining table. “It's from Bill,” Ellie explained. Joel stood there watching her, not a thought in his mind or a word in his mouth. Ellie took his silence as an okay and began to read. "To whomever... but probably Joel.” 

Joel adjusted his stance as Piper entered the room upon hearing Ellie’s voice.  

Ellie looked up at Joel worried she had offended him. “I figured I fell under whomever. Came with this.” 

Ellie passed a set of dusty keys over to Joel. He removed his bag and snatched up the keys. Piper took that as her chance to move and pulled out a chair to sit down on. 

“So they're dead?” Piper asked as she observed Joel holding the keys. 

“Mm-hmm,” Ellie nodded. “You, you wanna?”  Ellie offered the letter to Joel. 

“Go ahead. You do it,” Joel replied as he stepped back waiting for Ellie to read the message Bill and Frank had left him. 

"August 29, 2023. If you find this... please do not come into the bedroom. We left a window open so the house wouldn't smell, but it will probably be a sight. I'm guessing you found this, Joel because anyone else would've been electrocuted or blown up by one of my traps. Hehehehehehehehe.”

Piper winced at Ellie’s attempt at a written laugh. Ellie stuck her tongue at her sister before continuing. 

“Take anything you need. The bunker code is the same as the gate code but in reverse. Anyway... I never liked you, but still, it's like we're friends... almost. And I respect you. So, I'm gonna tell you something because you're probably the only person who will understand. I used to hate the world, and I was happy when everyone died. But I was wrong because there was one person worth saving. That's what I did. I saved him. Then I protected him. That's why men like you and me are here. We have a job to do. And God helps any mοthеrfսckеr who stands in our way. I leave you all of my weapons and equipment. Use them to keep..." 

Ellie’s throat caught on the next words. Tess. She couldn’t say it. Piper sat up in her seat watching her sister’s sudden wave of silence. 

Joel clenched his jaw and grabbed the letter from Ellie’s hands. His eyes scanned the paper over until he reached the line that caused Ellie’s hesitation. 

Joel couldn’t stand it any longer. The stench of dust in the air was clogging up his lungs. His eyes burned aching to find some release. “Stay here,” he said to the girls before darting out of the house and shutting the door behind him. 

The sun seemed to be shining even more than usual when Joel emerged from the house. ‘Use them to keep Tess safe.’ The wilting flowers, the dead brown yard, and the peeling paint. Each thing he looked at glared in his face like a headstone in a graveyard. It was inescapable. The letter was read. The paper now lay crunched up in the palm of Joel’s hand. He wanted to squeeze the letter so tight that it vanished from existence. He wanted to wash away the effects of Bill’s words. He wanted to clean himself of the pain, the memories, and the emotions. So the first time in a long time, Joel cried. It wasn’t a sob or a cry that brought you to your knees. No, Joel’s face bunched up and a single tear fell down his cheek. Joel knew better than to stand there and cry. The heavy weight of a key in his hand reminded him of the weight of what he promised to the dead. Joel knew better than anyone that the best way to mourn was to move on in the world of the living. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Joel was surprised to find both Ellie and Piper exactly where they were when he left the house a while ago. He was sure they would have at least explored the house. Instead, it seems they explored dust art as tiny stick figures and horrible renditions of animals and flowers now decorated the table. 

“Show me your arm,” Joel asked the two girls. Piper was the first to stick out her arm. The wound had scabbed over and was beginning to fade. Ellie’s bite mark was only a scar on the skin of her arm. Joel thought back to Tess’s words. This was real, these girls are real. 

“I just finished makin' a truck battery. It's charging right now,” Joel told the girls. 

“Okay…” Ellie said. 

“I have a brother out in Wyoming,” Joel explained to two girls. “He's in some kinda trouble, and I'm heading out there to find him. And my guess is he knows where some of them are out there. Maybe they can get you to wherever this lab is.”

“All right,” Piper agreed. 

“Uh, listen, about Tess, uh…,” Ellie began to say when Joel cut her off. 

“If I'm takin' you with me, there are some rules you gotta follow. Rule one, you don't bring up Tess. Ever. Matter of fact, we can just keep our histories to ourselves. Rule two, you don't tell anyone about your... condition. They see that bite mark; they won't think it through. They'll just shoot you. Rule three, you do what I say when I say it. We clear?” 

“Yes,” Ellie nodded her head. 

Joel turned to Piper. “Repeat it.” 

“What you say goes,” she muttered. 

“Okay,” Joel sighed as he looked around the room. 

“So, what now?” Ellie asked. 

“We grab what we can,” Joel said. He waved his hand telling the girls to follow as he led them to Bill’s bunker. 

80s music was blaring from the computer’s speakers, and Joel knew a headache was coming. Immediately, he marched over to the computer and silenced the sound. 

“Ho-ly shit,” Ellie was in awe of the bunker. “This guy was a genius.”

“Why was the music on?” Piper asked as she hopped off the ladder. 

“If he didn't reset the countdown every few weeks,” Joel explained,” this playlist would run over the radio.”

“'80s,” Piper whispered as she glanced over the wall of firearms. Some of which looked brand new. 

“Grab some cans from over there. Nothin’ dented or swollen,” Joel instructed the girls as he pointed them to the corner of canned goods. 

“Dude,” Ellie uttered, she pointed to the wall of guns. A hopeful look was born in her eyes. 

“No,” Joel said, squandering the hope in Ellie’s gaze. 

“But there's a wall of them…Piper?” Ellie pleaded.

“Let’s go, Ellie,” Piper replied.

Ellie groaned and her whole body heaved over. Piper chuckled at her sister’s dramatics before Piper moved to the canned goods and began to stuff bags full of food. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

The whole house was stocked with things that were a rarity in the QZ. Ellie found an entire closet full of toilet paper and women’s toiletries. It was a fucking gold mine. As Ellie filled bag after bag, Piper stood in the kitchen rummaging through the food. She had never seen some of the spices and foods that were stored in Bill and Frank’s kitchen. Part of her wished that she could have lived here with them in this life of luxury as the rest of the world fell apart.

“Needs another hour,” Joel said as he closed the front door behind him. He walked over to Ellie and looked at the bags before nodding and doing the same for Piper. 

“Come on, you two,” Joel uttered as he walked up the stairs to the second floor of the house. 

There were fully decorated homes with beds. The rooms had beds that were in amazing condition compared to the wilting mattress of Piper and Ellie’s bunk beds. The two girls would kill to have at least one night's rest in this palace of a home. 

Joel led them into a room and cracked open the closet doors before dropping cardboard boxes onto the bed. 

“Look in there,” Joel said before reaching into a box labelled men's shirts for himself. 

Piper and Ellie smiled as they walked over to the boxes full of new and clean women’s clothing. There were thick jeans unworn by anyone and shirts without holes and any signs of thinning. 

“Grab an extra shirt Ellie and a warm–” Piper began to say as she shuffled through the piles of clothing. 

“Yeah, yeah. I know. Grab something warm for when winter comes and extra clothes just in case.” Ellie repeated the words as if she was a robot. 

Piper smiled before placing her hand on Ellie’s head and roughing up her hair making it all go frizzy. Ellie groaned before smacking Piper��s hand away. 

“Alright, got my…holy shit!” Ellie exclaimed as she open a door in the bedroom. Before her was a pristine bathroom. She stepped inside and turned on the water “Piper! They have hot water!” Ellie stuck her head out of the bathroom. “I'm takin' a shower. And then you're showering because seriously.” Ellie waved her hand in front of her nose as she pointed to Piper. 

Piper rolled her eyes as she bagged the last piece of clothing in her backpack. “Oh fuck you, Ellie” Piper smiled. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

They really did have hot water and fuck did it feel amazing against Piper’s skin. As she stood underneath the raining showerhead, she could never recall a time when she did have warm water. If she was lucky to get a shower back in the QZ, all the water was freezing cold. Piper thought that she could get used to how the water eased her aching muscles and soul. She likes the feeling of the water trickling against her skin turning it a shade of pink from the heat. 

For a large majority of her shower, the water that rinsed off her body and hair was a dark brown. One could say it had been a long time since she really cleaned herself. While the river from earlier was nice, it was river water and Piper could only do so much when it came to bathing. 

Piper was quick to realize that the shower had a nice supply of fancy shampoos, conditioners, and body washes. Each bottle with a different scent that pleased Piper’s nose. To be safe rather than sorry, she used each of the five shampoos, the six conditioners, and the three body washes. She even contemplated using the razor to shave, but after remembering she had no recollection of how to wield the blade, she chose against it. 

The water washed away the dirt and grim and crusty blood that had stuck to her skin and some part of Piper believed that it washed the deepest parts of her broken soul. The heat of the water melded together the shattered pieces into one stronger shard. Piper felt renewed. Who knew a shower could do that? 

She shut the water off and stepped out of the shower before wrapping a towel around her body. She practically moaned at how soft the fabric was. All the towels she had ever used before were coarse and left scratches against her skin. Yet these towels were gentle as she guided the towel to soak up any remaining water. 

By the time she dressed herself the steam that had fogged up the mirror evaporated leaving Piper with the perfect view of herself. Her mind was torn from the view. Part of her cherished the sight of her dark eyes and long hair that took forever to dry as they shine in contrast with her pale freckled skin. The other more menacing part caught sight of the bruise along her nose and the dark circles under her eyes. What was worse was the look in her eyes. Piper already knew that she was broken, but to see it? That was a fate no one deserved to have. All of a sudden, Piper wished the mirror was fogged up again. She wished she never looked in the mirror and saw what it saw, so she bundled up her dirty clothes and left the bathroom. 

“It’s your turn,” Piper muttered to Joel as she passed him in the hallway. “I made sure to keep some warm water for you.” 

Joel nodded and took in the sight of the clean yet broken figure of Piper as she glided down the hallway and out of sight. He pushed himself off the wall and entered the bathroom. With a quick check of the water, he knew Piper told the truth. She did leave some hot water for him. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

“You clean up nice,” Ellie whistled to her sister as she stepped off the last stair. 

With a scoff and a raised brow, Piper brushed Ellie’s comment off. “Yeah, whatever.”

Piper glanced up the stairs in the direction of the bathroom and turned on her listening ear. Watering was running. Good. 

Dark eyes scanned Piper’s movement to the basement door. “Where are you going?” Ellie asked. 

“The bunker,” Piper replied as she carefully turned the knob to negate any creaking. 

“But Joel–” Ellie began glancing upstairs. 

“Is in the shower and won’t know a thing if you don’t tell,” Piper assured. The door was now fully open, and the smell of dust lay filled Piper’s nose. 

“...and what about the code?” Ellie pondered. 

A sigh escaped Piper’s mouth. “I saw the code at the gate,” Piper explained, “so I just have to put it in backward: 6791.” She widened her eyes at her sister as if to say ‘duh’ before closing the door and trekking to the bunker. 

Ellie sank deeper into her seat as she picked at her fingernails. For the first time in her life, they were clean. There was no dirt or grime hidden under the nail bed of each finger. It was weird and now there was nothing for her to pick at anymore. Huffing a breath of air, Ellie dropped her head back. Her skull banged against the back of the seat. 

“Fuck,” hissed Ellie as she rubbed her injury. 

Maybe sitting in a hard chair wasn’t the best idea when she was bored. It was then Ellie remembered where she was. It was a house that was a treasure cove of goods. She was sure she could find some good to keep her boredom at bay. Besides, it’s not like Bill and Frank would mind, they were dead. 

While the living room was an enticing start with all the painting supplies and the piano, a small desk in the corner of the dining room caught Ellie’s attention. It was small as it buried itself deep into the corner. The young girl almost would have missed it if it weren’t for the funky shape of the desk. 

Unlike all the other desks and tables Ellie had seen back in the QZ, this one was rounded at the top. While there was a flat surface in the middle, on the sides there were walls that curved to meet the top edge of the desk. The bottom half of the desk was as you’d expect. It was flat with multiple drawers to hold all of one’s belongings. Drawers were the perfect place to search for something to quench boredom, so that’s exactly where Ellie went looking. 

There was the odd thing-ama-gig here and there and by the time Ellie searched through the first drawer, she had found three packs of gum and some toothpicks and pads of paper. Boring. The next drawer was the same. And the next until Ellie’s hands glossed over the top drawer of the desk. 

It was long and thin, and Ellie was sure there wasn’t going to be anything in it. The drawer groaned as it was pulled open. Ellie’s eyes widened. 

“Fuck yeah!” She triumphantly whispered. 

Inside there were two notebooks and upon further inspection, they were both empty. Brand new and just waiting to be used. One for her and one for Piper. There were also some assorted pencils and pens, which weren’t as exciting, but Ellie grabbed them just as well. She needed some to draw with after all. Upon further inspection, she found some magazines and a comic or two. Quickly, she put them in her bag. She was sure she’d need reading material at some point. 

With the drawer closed Ellie sat back in her seat at the dining table and got to work. She always loved to draw and knew she was shit at it, but she remembered that Piper always told her you can never be good without practice. First, Ellie drew a tree to help her remember her adventures from that morning and the thrill of being in the sky. Next was the arcade game she saw in the gas station. However, she gave up after drawing a funky box with weird angles. She’d have to work on dimensions and perception if she was to get any better. The last thing she tried to capture on the blank page of the notebook was her and her sister. She wanted to do better than some stick figures and a bright yellow sun in the sky. At first, there were two circles, which then became ovals. Then there were circles for eyes but eyes don’t look quite like that so Ellie erased them and…

“What’s that?” Piper asked as she peered over her sister’s shoulder. 

Ellie jumped out of her seat and a long dark line was scratched against the paper. “A notebook,” Ellie muttered, collecting her nerves. “Here found you one.” She handed Piper the notebook and watched as her sister flipped through the pages.

A smile grew on Piper’s face as she hugged the notebook close. “…thanks, Ellie.” Ellie beamed up at her sister. For once she gave something to Piper, and it made Ellie’s heartbeat with pride. 

“Here,” Piper said, placing down her backpack and placing the notebook safely inside. “Shove this deep in your bag, but someplace easily accessible,” Piper instructed. 

At first, Ellie was confused about exactly what she was supposed to store in her bag, but her expression quickly changed to one of pure excitement. “Fuck yeah!” exclaimed Ellie. 

Piper chuckled. “Just hurry up.” She placed the gun in Ellie’s hands. 

“Ai yai captain,” Ellie saluted as she shoved the gun into her bag. “Thanks, Piper for–Oh shit.” Joel had come down the stairs. “Well, don't you look pretty?” 

Joel paused for a moment staring at the girls. Their faces were flushed, and they were oddly still. “Shut up,” he told Ellie. “…Ready to go?”  

Piper and Ellie nodded a bit too enthusiastically for Joel’s taste, but these were weird kids, so they’d do weird things. “Let’s go.” Joel opened the front door and motioned for the girls to follow. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

Joel let a sigh of relief fill his body once his aching bones sat down on the leather seats of the truck. It was going to be a luxury to drive instead of walk. A true luxury it would have been if he could have been taking this trip alone. 

“You’re in the back,” Piper barked at Ellie. 

“There’s no way in hell,” Ellie growled. 

The two girls had a hand on the door handle to the passenger seat. Their bodies were vigorously pressed up against each other in an attempt to knock the other over. Their yapping was already giving Joel a headache. He pinched his brow hard and clenched his jaw. Maybe if he thought hard enough the girls would be silent. Alas, their bickering only grew. 

“Because I said so,” Piper said as she shoved Ellie to the side. 

“That’s bullshit–”

“Girls!” Joel scolded. He knew that if he didn’t conclude the fight, they would never leave Bill’s and Frank’s. 

Silence came from Piper and Ellie as they stood watching Joel carefully. 

“Who knows how to read a map?” Joel asked, his tone was much softer. 

Ellie looked down just as Piper began to smirk. “I do,” Piper smugly replied. 

“Piper’s in front. Ellie, you’re in the back,” Joel stated. 

“Yeah! Told you,” Piper muttered to her sister. 

“Fuck you,” Ellie grumbled as she took the back seat of the truck. 

“Love you too,” Piper smiled back at Ellie as she got comfortable in the passenger seat. She pulled the sun guard down and looked in its tiny mirror after she scanned all the buttons for the stereo. “Nice,” She whispered. 

“It's your first time in a car?” Joel asked curiously as he watched the two girls' reactions to the vehicle. 

“It's like a spaceship,” Ellie noted as she stared around with wide eyes. 

“No, it's like a piece of shit Chevy S10, but it'll get us there... I think,” Joel said. “Seatbelt.”

“Hm?” The two girls looked at him with confusion. Joel stared back with a look of bewilderment. 

“Seatbelt,” Joel repeated. The girls’ reactions didn’t change. 

The seat groaned as Joel stretched back and reached for Ellie’s seatbelt. In one swift motion, she buckled her in. Her hands roamed the material as it lay strapped across her torso. Next, Joel buckled in Piper. His large hands clasped the buckled guiding across Piper’s torso before hearing the click. 

“Okay,” Joel said to himself once the girls were seated. With a turn of the key, the engine whirred to life. One hand on the wheel and the other on the shift. 

Piper watched in awe as Joel backed them out of the garage and onto the street. It was an odd sensation to feel the rumbling of the engine beneath her seat. 

“So cool,” Ellie whispered as she looked out the window and the moving world. 

Joel placed the map in Piper’s lap as they approached the gate. She carefully unfolded the paper, her eyes scanning over the numerous lines and illustrations to find their location. With a quick glance outside the window to check for street signs, she found their location on the map. 

In the meantime, Joel had opened the gate and began to leave the ghost of a utopian neighbourhood behind.  Ellie sat with her head laying against the window as she watched the homes disappear behind her leaving the open road ahead. 

“Would ya leave it?” Joel said to Piper pulling Ellie out of her trance as the trees flew by. “Put it back... Piper.”

Piper turned to Joel and smirked as she placed the tape into the stereo. With a click the tape began to play and the song came to life. 

The sound of instruments seeped through the speakers of the stereo playing the intro. It was slow as they set up the start of the first verse. 

Ellie huffed. “This sucks, come on, change it,” she told Piper. 

Piper rolled her eyes and made a move to skip the song.

“Oh, no, wait. No, leave it. Leave it,” Joel said as he swatted Piper’s hand away from the stereo. “Oh, this is good. This is Linda Ronstadt. Do you know who Linda Ronstadt is?” He turned back to look at the girls. 

“You know I don't know who Linda Ronstadt is,” Piper replied as she sat back in her chair. Her ears tuned in to listen to the music. 

“Oh, man. Eh,” Ellie sighed. “It's better than Piper’s shit music.”

Immediately Piper sat up in her seat. “Hey! Try having a music taste in this shit world…and I’ll have you know Fleetwood Mac isn’t shit music.”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever you say…”

This was going to be a long car ride. 

꧁_____________꧂ 

 ♪ Wait for the day ♪ ♪ You'll go away ♪ ♪ Knowin' that you warned me ♪ ♪ Of the price I'd have to pay ♪ ♪ And life's full of loss ♪ ♪ Who knows the cost ♪ ♪ Livin' in the memory ♪ ♪ Of a love that never was ♪ ♪ 'Cause I've done everything I know ♪ ♪ To try and change your mind ♪ ♪ And I think I'm gonna love you ♪ ♪ For a long, long time ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ Love will abide ♪ ♪ Take things in stride ♪ ♪ Sounds like good advice ♪ ♪ But there's no one at my side ♪ ♪ And time washes clean ♪ ♪ Love's wounds unseen ♪ ♪ That's what someone told me ♪ ♪ But I don't know what it means ♪ ♪ 'Cause I've done everything I know... ♪

꧁_____________꧂

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꧁_____________꧂

#Ellie TLOU #tlou fanfiction #the last of us hbo #hbo tlou #hbo the last of us spoilers #hbo the last of us #tlou hbo #Ellie Williams #ellie williams x sister!reader #bella ramsey #ellie is immune #ellie williams x sister! reader #Piper Williams #ellie and piper are sisters #Joel Miller #joel the last of us #joel x daughter!reader #joel miller x daughter!reader #a Sinner’s redemption #the last of us fanfiction #the last of us #long long time #apocalypse #the infected #bill and frank #joel x platonic!reader #joel miller x platonic!reader #a sinner's redemption

[crownebula]

[Image ID: A series of tags stating #i will NEVER forget the one time i got a reddit account and went on r/traaaa #and immediately saw a post that was like #'i dont understand why people would want to be trans men. because women are pretty and clean and graceful but men are stereotypically not?' #like this isnt an exact quote but they put it JUST as on the nose as this - this isnt an exaggeration of how they worded it #they were being grilled in the comments but like. the fact i have to see this shit all the time is annoying /End ID]

(Tags belong to @9mt7vcoec0snpczpztn9m5foxwjtis2p)

Don't even get me started on trans subreddits oh my lord. I was already put off a little bit when I first went on there because there was such an imbalance in how many trans women there were compared to trans men. Which isn't necessarily bad, but I'm not part of that demographic. But the fact they REGULARLY contained posts that either put down, dismissed, or were generally weird towards trans men and mascs was really frustrating to me. I left there a long time ago for that exact reason, so I can't remember a lot of exact stuff (I remember a lot of people being weird as hell in the comments when a trans man DID actually post. Genital swapping, putting down their experience, etc) but I'm sure people who regularly skimmed there when it was still going know what I mean. Unless it changed to be better after I left then maybe you don't.

Tiktok can be pretty bad about it too, but I don't see as much of it on there. Just erasure of transman and masc experiences in favor of transfem. Though I do see a lot more transmen on there in general.

But Tumblr was like the first place I saw transmen posting about the crap we have to deal with. Which was such a breath of fresh air. Even if tumblr as a whole doesn't really seem to care there is a niche that exists and can be seen. Which is much more than there ever was on r/traaaa, or any trans space on tiktok.

It's important to talk about transwomen and transfem experiences, so incredibly important because they're just as much a part of the community as anyone else. But so are transmen and transmasc experiences. It's so annoying. I'm so glad you mentioned reddit specifically though that website was so terrible with that stuff when I was on there.

#trans #transandrophobia #like when i talk about leaving places because of vehement antitransmasc stuff? #i am talking about THAT subreddit and others like it #it was so uncomfortable #i wish i could remember more but it was literally years ago now #i give them points for helping me realize im trans as a baseline #but it definitely stunted my growth and acceptance as someone who identifies with manhood #because it made me afraid of becoming a man

[heykoonsy]

Word Count:  2.8k+

Pairing: Husk x Angel Dust (HuskerDust/AngelHusk), slight Angel Dust x OC

Summary: “Give him everything but your ass.” Angel Dust was tasked with one job: convince the investor to subsidize Valentino’s agency. Angel was more of a closer to Valentino, enticing the wealthier of his associates into funding projects for him. However, this latest pitch didn’t go as planned and Angel’s hubris prevented him from seeing the potential drawbacks of a one night stand with someone Valentino marked. In this slow burn love story, Angel must confront the worst parts of himself if he is going to win back his career.

Content Warnings: Rated 18+ for foul language, graphic depictions of a panic attack

Author's Note: Whoops! I forgot to post the second part! This chapter proceeds one of my favorite scenes in this whole series. Enjoy, I'll post the next chapter next week.

Angel Dust turned over in bed, his attempts at ignoring his phone proving difficult if not impossible. He’d been lying there all morning, tossing and turning and fighting the urge to vomit. Angel sat up for a moment, grabbing his phone and opening it. He went to his chat with Cherri, which he’d been opening up every few minutes despite the fact that he knew he hadn’t gotten a response yet. 

He was thinking with a clear head now–well, as clear as his head could be after a night of booze and miscellaneous pills. It seemed to throb in response to the memories of last night, so he rubbed his temple with his available hand. He read his texts to Cherri over and over again. 

Hey

About last night

I wanted to say that i’m sorry, it wasn’t right to ditch you

With everything going on these days i’ve been a fucking mess babe

He sighed, looking at the time stamp on each text. No response–and he knew he wouldn’t be receiving any any time soon. Not after how he acted. Fuck, he was lucky that Cherri tracked him down and got him home safe. Of course, he was too much of an ass last night to realize that. When she dropped him off at the door of the hotel, he’d chosen to thank her for her kindness by flipping her off and blaming her for his blue balls. 

He was despicable. 

He turned off his phone before setting it down on the nightstand by his bed. He sighed, his eyes going anywhere else. Like towards his disaster of a room. His pile system had reared its ugly head but Angel couldn’t muster up the energy to get out of bed. A clean room was overrated anyway, he found his things just fine. 

Angel brought his knees into his chest, hugging them as his eyes caught Fat Nuggets passed out on top of his dirty clothing pile by the door. By the looks of it, Angel had obscured his bed again. If he couldn’t bring himself to do laundry, the least he could do was take Fat Nuggets on a walk. He wasn’t completely useless. 

Angel rose and threw on some presentable clothing. Fat Nuggets woke up by the time he’d put his shoes on and was nudging his leg with his snout. Angel patted his head. 

“Wanna go for a walk?”

Fat Nuggets sprang into action, digging around the laundry piles for where his leash had been discarded. He brought it to Angel triumphantly, and waited patiently for Angel to put it on. 

Angel walked into the lobby with Fat Nuggets at his side. He looked over at the bar to see Husk cutting a bunch of fruit into slices. Just the smell of the citrus reminded him of all the lemon drops he did last night. Fat Nuggets pulled on his lead to go towards him, but Angel picked him up and took him outside.

Once outside, Angel breathed in some of the fresh air. He put Fat Nuggets down, and he seemed to huff at him. 

“Sorry Nugs, Daddy is feelin’ sick today,” he said softly. 

The two of them embarked on their walk together. Angel figured that he would go towards the park today since there were always food trucks parked alongside the street. His stomach gave a hearty rumble at the thought of a greasy hot dog–or better still–a set of tacos with loads of sour cream. Angel could barely contain his excitement so he picked up the pace. 

They arrived at the park in no time and Angel looked around to see which vendors he had the pleasure of choosing from today. The mini pancake truck, the mini donut truck…fuck yes, there she was–Torch’s Tacos–parked in plain view with no line. The sight almost brought a tear to his eye. He walked over quickly, wanting nothing more than to order his favorite hangover food. 

He stepped up to the truck and ordered quickly–and Torch, the owner–came out to pet Fat Nuggets as his employees made his tacos. In a few minutes, Angel sat down at a park bench and chowed the fuck down. While he ate, Torch came over and slapped a plastic dish that was full of fixin’s for Fat Nuggets. 

“On the house,” Torch said happily. “He’s adorable.”

Angel thanked him and Fat Nuggets started eating heartily. 

Once breakfast was over, Angel threw all the scraps in a nearby trash can. He wanted to eat more, but his hangover would only allow so much food to go in at once. Angel hoped that it would all stay down–he really didn’t want to repeat this cycle thirty minutes from now. Regardless, he stood and began walking around the park. Fat Nuggets oinked happily as they made their way through, sniffing anything that he came into contact with. 

Then, as they made their way out of the park and down the street, Angel felt a pang of nausea hit him out of nowhere. He felt his stomach begin to ache and his mouth began producing mass amounts of saliva. He swallowed, which only made it worse. He looked around towards several businesses–none of which were open. He started to think that a nearby alley would suffice, until he saw a cafe. 

Angel walked as calmly as he could towards the cafe and only when he walked inside and saw the sign for the restroom did he start running. Angel threw open the door and walked into the only stall and threw up everything he had eaten. Fat Nuggets paced at his legs, no doubt worried about him. 

“Daddy’s okay, Nugs,” Angel managed out before another wave of nausea hit. “Fuck me,” he said before he gagged again.

A few minutes later and everything Angel had eaten–as well as the alcohol that had settled at the bottom of his stomach–was gone. He went towards the sink and washed out his mouth. He looked at himself in the mirror. The mascara that he’d put on last night was smudged–the tears from his vomit-session staining his cheeks black. He grabbed a paper towel and began cleaning himself up. 

Angel made his way towards the door of the cafe quickly, not making eye contact with anyone within the small building. He’d done his best to clean up–but he still looked like shit. Now was not the time to meet with a fan or a colleague–that was for fucking sure. He stepped onto the sidewalk, taking in the fresh air again. 

“We better get home Nugs, before Daddy pukes again.” 

“Well, if it isn’t the Angel Dust,” a voice called from the door of the cafe. 

Angel looked over, and his eyes widened in shock. 

“Agony,” Angel said, nearly breathless.

“Long time no see,” Agony said, walking towards him. 

“Yeah, sorry for not keeping in touch after…” Angel trailed off. 

Agony let the silence hang in the air, and it seemed like he was waiting for Angel to say something. 

“Agony, I–

“I already know,” Agony’s eyes snapped over to Angel.

Angel knit his eyebrows together, “What do you mean?”

“I know why Valentino canceled Brut’s project,” he said, his shoulders tensing as he spoke. 

Angel Dust hesitated for a moment. He wanted to say something–anything–but the fact that Agony knew was sending his head in a spin.

“Do you know what it’s been like? For me?” Agony said, the hurt evident in his tone. “The work dried up after I was let go–anything I get now is because of some friends in the industry.”

“Have you heard from–

“What do you care? Your career is doing just fine last time I checked, Mr. Best Male Performer. Congrats on the nomination by the way.”

Angel felt Fat Nuggets tug on his leash. “Agony, you have it all wrong.”

“What, you didn’t get me and Brut fired?”

Angel shifted his weight awkwardly. “It was Val, he–he was pissed that I–

“I don’t need your excuses,” Agony said. “Tezan told me everything.”

Angel clammed up, his eyes searching Agony’s. “I don’t know what he told you, but Tezan isn’t–

“This isn’t about him, Angel.” Agony said. “It’s about you.”

“I’m sorry that I got you fired,” Angel said, his voice higher than he wanted it to come out. 

“This isn’t about the job, Angel! All these months and you never checked on me to see if I was okay.”

Angel stood there as Agony lowered his head. 

“I didn’t just lose my job, I lost my friend,” Agony said after a few moments.

Angel took a step closer to him, and Agony recoiled. “I wanted to make things right, that’s why I–

“I don’t care,” Agony spat out. “Delete my number–if you even saved it in your phone in the first place.”

Angel watched as Agony walked away from him and the small crowd that was gathering around them as they fought in the street. Angel grabbed Fat Nuggets and took off running in the opposite direction. He ran as fast as he could–the wind stinging his eyes as he made his way towards the hotel. When he got there, he stopped just inside the door.

He breathed deeply, Fat Nuggets struggling to break free of his hold. Angel let him down and he scuffled towards the bar. 

“You good, kid?” Husk said from across the lobby. 

Angel heard the words echo in his head. He looked over at Husk, who was coming around the side of the bar towards him. His heavy breathing soon became gasps. 

“Kid?” Husk prompted, Fat Nuggets following him as he began walking over with more urgency. 

Angel brought his hands to his head, cupping his palms around his temples as he tried to will himself into calming down. His gasping turned into choked sobs in the blink of an eye and tears began streaming down his face. 

“Angel,” Husk said, putting a hand on his shoulder.

Angel felt his touch, and his entire body jolted from the contact. He threw himself back, and Husk stepped closer. 

“Go away,” Angel’s voice strained against his sobs, his hands going to the floor to pick up Fat Nuggets. Once he gathered him in his hands, Angel started towards the stairs–to his room. 

But Husk grabbed his arm, stopping his progress towards his place of solitude. “What happened?”

“Nothing,” Angel spat out quickly and tore his hand away. “Leave me the fuck alone.”

Angel didn’t spare him another glance before he ran away. He sprinted to his room, setting Fat Nuggets down on his bed as he paced. He tripped over laundry piles as he walked around his room–trying to calm himself down. But instead of quieter, his sobs became louder, echoing in his bedroom. He covered his mouth, feeling his tears stream down them as well. 

All he could think about was his exchange with Agony. The guilt and shame washed over him all over again in an instant. All those weeks that Angel had been agonizing over his role in getting Agony fired he hadn’t reached out once. He hadn’t even thought about it. He just resigned himself to believing that Agony wouldn’t want to hear from him. 

Then, his mind went to Tezan.

Not only did he manage to figure out that Spitzers was opening his own agency–he’d somehow caught on that Angel was arranging for Brut and Agony to join him. In one foul swoop, Tezan had managed to destroy everything. 

Angel wiped at his eyes, trying to stop the tears from coming, but they wouldn’t subside. But without looking where he was going, Angel tripped on a pile of laundry and fell forward. He picked himself up, planting his ass on the floor with his bed to his back. He pulled his knees into himself and cried harder. 

Angel barely heard the door open, and when he looked up he saw Husk. 

“Would you just go?” Angel asked him, the lump in his throat making it hard to speak. 

“No,” Husk said. 

Angel hid his face in his arms, the urge to hide himself coming as easily as his tears. 

Husk didn’t say anything–he simply came and sat down next to Angel. At first, the intrusion was unwelcome. Angel wanted to push him towards the door until he was able to slam it in his face. But all he could do was cry. 

“Please leave,” Angel begged.

“Take some deep breaths,” Husk said quietly. 

Angel clamped his mouth shut, not wanting to make any loud noises. He breathed in through his nose slowly and when he exhaled, another sob came out.

“Get outta my room!”

“Would you just let me sit with ya!?”

Angel looked at Husk, and threw his fuzzy vision he made out Husk’s concerned expression. He blinked and several tears fell away onto his cheeks. Angel hid his face again, this time, doing as Husk asked and started to focus on breathing. He struggled to get some air around his sobs–but he did well enough. He stuttered on a few inhales, but after a while, even his tears stopped. 

He followed his breaths in and out, feeling his lungs swell and deflate. The sensation soothed him. When it looked like he was through the worst of it, he looked over at Husk. He was sitting with one leg crossed and the other bent looking at his hands as they lay on his lap. He didn’t look over at Angel once, which he supposed he should be grateful for. Angel looked and felt like a mess–Husk didn’t need to see that. 

“I’m fine now,” Angel sniffed. 

Husk didn’t look at him, instead choosing to close his hand into a fist.

“I’m serious, you don’t need to be here.”

This time, Husk did look over at him–and his face seemed tired. 

“What?”

“You’ve been off for a while now,” Husk said, his eyes finding the piles of laundry in front of them. 

Angel tried to think back to his interactions with Husk. “I don’t know what you’re talkin’ about.” 

It seemed that Husk wasn’t willing to elaborate either, because he shrugged.

“I’m good,” Angel lied, “Really, I don’t need you here.”

“You’re in the pits, ain’t ya?” Husk looked at him dead in the eyes.

Angel clammed up, he looked away from him, suddenly not to keen on eye contact.

“I don’t care if you tell me or not, but I’m gonna sit with ya until you get it figured out.”

“Then you’re gonna be sittin’ for a while,” Angel remarked bitterly. “I don’t know what to do anymore.”

Husk didn’t say anything after that, just continued to sit with Angel. To be honest, it was making him kind of uncomfortable. He wanted to fill the silence–no–he needed to. 

“Things haven’t been goin’ that great for me, not really.” Angel said after a long while. 

Husk remained quiet. 

“I was working on a project with some real talent a few months ago. Valentino wanted me to charm an investor so we could fund advertising, but I got too close and Valentino blacklisted him.” Angel recounted. “Valentino dropped the project and everyone lost their jobs. He then made me whore myself out to other investors.”

Husk listened without batting an eye.

“After Valentino started working with him, I didn’t feel safe at work so I got rid of him the only way I knew how.”

Husk nodded his head, no doubt recalling the situation. He’d given him the advice that prevented Tezan from bothering him too much at work.

“I recorded him badmouthing Valentino–so he blacklisted him too,” Angel sighed. “But he’s held a grudge, and I guess I can’t blame him.”

Husk waited for Angel to continue.

“The first investor? I ran into him and he was doing perfectly fine despite the blacklist–so I told him that he should open his own agency. I even steered him towards that talented director that Valentino fired.”

Angel smiled bitterly as he recalled the conversation with Spitzers. He was so happy that he might actually be able to fix his mistake from before by giving Brut and Agony work again. But…

“The other investor caught on to my plan I guess and met with my co-star, Agony. He told him that I was the reason the project got dropped. He said he couldn’t find work, and…” Angel trailed off. 

Husk waited patiently for him to continue, but Angel wasn’t sure that he could. He finally realized what Agony was saying to him in front of the cafe. 

“He told me he was in the pits–and he didn’t have me there to sit with him,” Angel said, his eyes stinging with tears again. He hid his face again, letting his tears fall quietly. Then, he felt Husk’s hand on his back. He didn’t jolt this time, or try to shake him off. Instead, he allowed Husk’s gentle touch to soothe him.

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#Blacklist #Hazbin Hotel #hazbin hotel fic #Husk #Angel Dust #Huskerdust #AngelHusk

[runningfrom2am]

achilles heel - V: red jetta

summary:

Grace is the very opposite of her brother in every way. when she finally moves onto campus at UNC Chapel Hill, she feels like she gets to be her own person, make her own friends, and hopefully start a promising career in the museum industry, and maybe, one day, get married to her high school sweetheart and live the American dream for herself. Rafe Cameron however, upon their very first meeting, throws a wrench in her very perfect plan.

tags/warnings:

rafe cameron x fem!oc, rafe is giving very much homewrecker, fanon!rafe (kinda), college!au, friends to lovers, slow-burn (maybe?), minimal oc description, drug and alcohol use, mostly unedited, (these tags are not exhaustive, lmk if i should add anything!)

wc: 1.8k

my master list

series masterlist

requests

January 25th, 2019

Grace dropped off the face of the earth for the two weeks that followed. Rotting away in her room, keeping up with readings as best as she could, but she truly struggled to even get out of bed. Her roommates would bring her food from the caf, and despite her not being extremely close with them they were so supportive. They'd all been through it before in a way that Grace never had. 

Ben had tried reaching out, and so did Rafe, a couple of times, but Grace would quickly delete them out of embarrassment that they even had to find out. That Rafe had to see her like that- he witnessed the whole thing, and she cringes at the idea of even having to look at him again. He was so sweet, though; he helped her get home, listened to her, and let her cry on his shoulder for what must have been hours. She ruined that party for him.

But enough is enough, and she has to get back into her classes. She can't sacrifice her GPA over Nate, and on some level she knows it will be healing for her if she does well despite him believing that he is so much smarter. She can rub a spot on the Dean's List in his face from a distance, if she must.

She'll go to class the next day. It's settled. She's making an effort to clean the mess that her room became, so unlike herself, when her roommate knocks on her door. "Grace? Can I come in?"

"Yeah." Grace answers, quickly throwing the trash in her hands into the bin next to her desk and facing the door as her friend walks in.

"Hey." She smiles sympathetically. "Woah, it looks great in here!" She says, looking around. 

Grace laughs a little bit, looking at the piles of clothes on the floor she's yet to clean up. "Well, not exactly.. I'm just trying to organize a bit before classes this week."

"Oh, you're going? That's great." She smiles. "Uh, there's some guy here to see you- not Nate." She quickly assures her and Grace furrows her brows, thinking on it for a second. 

"Ben?"

"He didn't tell me his name." She shrugs. "Should I tell them you're busy?'

"No, no. It's fine. Lord knows I need to socialize a little bit. It's just my brother, anyway." Grace chuckles, putting her slippers on to walk out to their shared living room as her friend leaves, laughing with her.

"She's coming." She hears her roommate say before returning to her own room.

Grace takes a deep breath before leaving her room, closing the door, and walking out towards their entryway. She freezes when she sees it's not her brother, but Rafe standing there instead. He looks at her and smiles a little awkwardly. "Hey. Just thought I'd come check on you, it's been a while." 

"Oh, hi." Grace says, returning the smile, her whole body flooding with the rush of embarrassment as she gets flashbacks to what happened weeks before. "Thank you, I'm doing alright." She says, resisting the urge to look down and face the state of her pyjamas that she's been wearing for at least a week consecutively. 

"Want to go for a walk, or something? Get some fresh air?" Rafe asks after a moment. It surprises him how good she looks, not physically, but despite the bags around her eyes, she looks polished. Her hair is brushed, and her skin is still as clear as ever. If he didn't know what had been going on, he wouldn't have guessed.

Grace looks out the window behind her, seeing that it does look like a nice day, and the sun is about to set. With some warm clothes, a walk might be really nice. "Yeah, actually. That sounds nice. I'll just get dressed." She agrees, quickly turning and retreating back to her room. She dug through her closet to find something warm (and clean) to wear, throwing it on with a beanie before rushing back out. "So sorry to keep you waiting, I think I'm good."

"All good." Rafe smiles at her, opening the door for her as they walk out. "So, have you left your dorm at all the last couple weeks?" He asks, raising an eyebrow at her.

"Uh, not really, no." Grace admits, cheeks turning red as she looks down. 

"I don't blame you. Breakups are shit." Rafe says, trying to make her feel comfortable. "Once, after my ex left me, I locked myself in my room for a week. I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep, couldn't do anything but smoke the pain away. Ask Kelce, it was hard to watch."

"Oh, I'm sorry you went through that..." Grace replies honestly. It makes Rafe nauseous, almost, how she's so instantly empathizing with him when she is actively going through the same thing. And having been a first-hand witness to her breakup, he is comfortable in the assumption that she is much worse off than he was. He just wanted her to see she wasn't truly alone.

"It's fine, I'm better for it." Rafe shrugs as they walk out of the building. "That was a couple years ago, so being sixteen, I was probably overreacting anyways, even if that was my first relationship."

"I don't think so." Grace shakes her head as she speaks quietly, Rafe having to lower his head to hear her properly. "It's scary, and sad... and lonely, a little bit."

"I agree, and I'm glad you mention that," Rafe nods, poking her arm gently with a smile. "Because I actually lied to you."

Grace looks up at him, confused now as they walk down the sidewalk. "I have a surprise for you, and we're not actually going on a walk." Rafe admits, smiling smugly at her as they continue walking.

"What is it?" Grace asks.

"You'll see." He smirks, and they continue down towards student parking.

When they get there, Rafe stops her by standing in front of her. "Stay here, I'll be right back." He grins and she nods still thoroughly confused as she watches him run into the bushes behind a few cars, coming back with a couple of plastic grocery bags.

"Now, which car is Nate's?" Rafe grins, holding the bags at his side and looking around the parking lot as he stands directly next to her.

"Uh, why?" Grace asks, leaning over to peek in the bags.

"We're gonna wreck it." Rafe answers proudly, smiling down at her now. "So which car is his?"

Grace thinks on it for a second, unsure if that's a good idea. She's never been one for revenge, but she would be lying to herself if she didn't admit she'd love to know Nate is facing some kind of karma. "Nothing like.. permanent, right?" She asks, just to clarify they can't get in any real trouble.

"No, 'course not." Rafe shakes his head, knowing full well he's got a bag of sugar with its final destination being Nate's gas tank, but he'll wait until Grace goes back inside for that. "Just thought we could vent our frustrations a little, it'll be totally harmless."

"Okay..." Grace agrees hesitantly, looking over to Nate's parking spot. "It's that one. The Jetta."

"Jeez," Rafe laughs, shaking his head. "Driving that ugly thing around is a crime in itself. He deserves this, honestly, he can’t get away with treating you like that. He’s a jerk, and you deserve better." He says, starting to make his way over to it and Grace is following close behind.

They approach the car and Rafe places the bags down, crouching down to dig out all the supplies he bought. Eggs, honey, peanut butter, grease paint, molasses, paint stripper, if Target had it, he bought it. "Pick your poison, Gracie. All you." He smiles, standing up and placing his hands on his hips, looking over at her. 

"Uh..." She looks back at the building they came from, silently assessing the odds that they'll be seen as she blushes from the nickname.

"You want me to go first? I don't mind." Rafe offers and she nods.

"Yeah, yeah sounds good." She whispers, watching him as he grabs the bottle of honey and opens it, squeezing its contents all over the windshield, a smile falling over his lips. She gasps and covers her mouth with her hands, but his smile is contagious, and she ends up giggling as she watches.

"C'mon." Rafe encourages her, nodding his head towards the bags. "It'll feel good."

Grace smiles and grabs a bag of flour, ripping it open and hesitating a bit before throwing a handful overtop of the honey coating the windshield.

"Grace, c'mon. You can do better than that." He insists, chuckling a little at her hesitation. "That asshole deserves worse than that."

Grace nods a little, more determined this time as she grabs more, throwing it all over the honey that Rafe coated the glass with. "He fucking loves this car, it's so ugly. I hate it. I've always hated it!" She's laughing as she continues.

"Yeah! Atta girl, fuck this shitty old car." Rafe laughs, smiling as he watches her loosen up. When he notices she's almost out of flour, he quickly returns to where everything was piled up on the ground, grabbing her the box of eggs. He doesn't want her to lose this momentum she's just picking up. He joins her side, holding the box open for her.

Grace breathes heavily, smiling and looking over her handiwork. "Here, don't stop now." Rafe smiles, and she takes one out of the box, taking a couple of steps back before throwing it at the front of the car. The egg's fragile shell breaks open and sprays its contents over the red paint of the vehicle, making Grace jump up and down a little bit with excitement. She's quick to grab another, and another, and another, effectively coating all sides of the car in raw egg.

By the time they think they're done, both of them are covered in the evidence of their crimes. They stand side by side in front of the mess-covered car, chests heaving with the energy they spent on the task as well as the adrenaline rushing through their veins. Particularly Grace. She's never done anything like this before, something bad. It felt so good. "I think it's missing something, hey?" Rafe asks, tilting his head as he examines the vehicle, now covered mostly in darkness after the sunset.

"What?" Grace asks, turning her head to look up at him. He's got flour and molasses stuck to his face, and she smiles a little to herself. He looks so much more relaxed than the Rafe she's used to, but she first saw this side of him at that party. Suddenly it's not such an embarrassing memory anymore.

"Write something on it." He suggests, his eyes returning to hers as he looks at her expectantly. 

"What do I write?" She giggles, looking between him and the car. Rafe just shrugs, gesturing for her to do it. 

Grace walks up to the car, leaning over to write across the windshield with her finger. When she's done, she steps back and looks up at Rafe for his approval.

"Oh, that'll piss him off. I like it." He laughs, giving her a high five.

'Worlds Dumbest Engineering Student'

this part was SO cute and so fun to write omg

taglist: @newbooksmell777, @tahliac11, @slut4drudy, @madelynie, @angelw33dz, @mutual-mendes, @winterrrnight, @sadfury, @totalswag, @peachprairie (as always reply or message me to be added or removed!)

#rafe cameron #obx fanfic #rafe obx #outer banks #rafe fic #rafe cameron x oc #rafe fanfiction #rafe imagine #rafe cameron fluff #rafe angst #outerbanks rafe #rafe cameron imagine #rafe outer banks

[thebirdandthebee]

Easy As

A Carmen Berzatto Universe

A/N: This is another request from the inbox! I am running low on requests for this series, so feel free to hop in there. There is an exciting little nod in this one that’s new :)

Vanessa Monaghan is the breath of fresh air that Carmen had been gasping for.

Chapter 19: Smoke

Vanessa tossed the dirty socks down into the washing machine before slamming the lid shut. She stalked through the house, heels first into the hardwood, tearing open the refrigerator door and grabbing a can of ginger ale, cracking open the top.

She was pissed, and rightfully so, even a few hours after Carmen had gone to work she wanted to wring his stupid neck. Trying her best to cool off, she leaned against the kitchen counter, shooting off a text to Gina so she could commiserate.

As she composed the message, a separate message came through from Sydney.

From: Syd

So do you know why Carmen is on a warpath today?

Vanessa sighed, not wanting to ignore her friend, but she really was trying to forget about their giant argument earlier that day. Trying to keep from reigniting her anger, she left her phone on the kitchen counter before heading to the living room.

She was even more annoyed at the fact that she’d taken the day off from work to relax after a tough week, only for the day to explode into a big fight.

She heard her phone ding again atop the kitchen counter and couldn’t ignore Syd again.

From: Syd

Seriously though, he’s about to lose half of his staff.

Vanessa sighed, running a hand through her hair.

To: Syd

Do you think you could trip him?

From: Syd

So you’re aware of this situation?

To: Syd Sorry, yes. We got into it before he left for dinner service.

From: Syd

Please fix this, he’s making my life hell.

It was unfair for Carmen to be taking out his personal issues on his staff, and it made her all the more annoyed at the chef.

She weighed her options. She could leave it alone and hope the team survived the night, or she could make her way down to The Bear and tell Carmen to pull the stick out of his ass.

Unfortunately for Carmen, her father didn’t raise her to back down. So she tossed her hair up in a ponytail, stepped into a pair of her bitchiest heels and called an Uber.

Rolling up The Bear, the team had already finished for dinner service for the night and had clearly moved into side work and cleaning. Vanessa knew that during service, the customers often served as a buffer between staff members, giving them something to focus on.

“If you let that slip again, Marcus, you can leave your apron by the door on the way out!” She heard Carmen shout from the back just moments after pushing open the front door. “What I’m asking is not hard, do your fucking job!”

Vanessa frowned, she loved Marcus who was a big softie and was truly always trying his best.

“Thank God,” Richie sighed, popping his head out of the service entry to the front of house. “Nessie, he’s off his goddamn rocker, can you fix this?” Richie asked, tilting his head back toward the kitchen.

“If you guys are almost done, it’s probably best to start clearing out,” she advised. Richie watched Vanessa walk back toward the kitchen.

“I don’t know how many times I have to ask, if these lowboys aren’t cleaned out properly, I’m going to lose it!” Carmen shouted, taken aback as he saw his fiancé enter the kitchen. It wasn’t too often she got to catch him completely by surprise. “Hi,” he said curtly, quickly silencing the room.

It was not the way Carmen Berzatto ever greeted Vanessa, and his whole staff knew it.

“Mom and Dad are fighting,” Ebrahim said, eyes glancing all around. Vanessa could see the anger creeping up Carmen’s neck.

“I think we’re good here,” T murmured, grabbing her things. “See you Monday, Jeff,” she brushed by Carmen, “hope you’re less of a dick.”

Carmen shifted on his feet, rolling his neck as his staff filed out.

Thank you, Sydney mouthed to Vanessa, creeping backward to her locker and quickly grabbing her coat.

“What are you doing here?” Carmen asked, tossing a kitchen towel over his shoulder. In other circumstances, she’d have a hard time taking her seriously in those crocs, but seeing his face reminded her why she was so pissed at him.

“Your team asked me to come because the said you were being a monumental asshole,” she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Who?” Carmen asked, leaning into one of his shoulders.

“Doesn’t matter,” she replied.

“Well they shouldn’t be calling you,” he said, turning back to walk around the other side of the kitchen. She watched as he took the towel off his shoulder, wiping down counters. “You didn’t need to come down here,” he added, knowing full well she was watching him.

“And you don’t need to be laying into your staff because you’re pissed at me,” Vanessa countered. Carmen paused his ministrations momentarily.

“I’m not,” he said pointedly.

“You are!” Vanessa countered, “did you not see how fast they split out of here?”

“Ness,” Carmen warned, “I can’t get into this again,” he finished.

Vanessa’s jaw ticked.

“God you’re such a dick,” she shook her head, “I swear to god.”

“Vanessa I already apologized,” Carmen said, throwing his towel down.

“You’re not sorry, you’re just sorry I found out!” Vanessa narrowed her eyes. “If I wouldn’t have come home early from the office, I never would have caught you,” she elaborated.

“It’s not that big of a deal!” Carmen huffed, tugging at his curls. “Everyone in this goddamn kitchen smokes!” He gestured around him.

“Sydney does not smoke,” Vanessa spat back immediately. “You told me you quit!”

“I only light up once and a while!” Carmen said, “at work!”

“Clearly it’s not just at work because you were smoking in our home!” She laughed.

“I was out on the patio,” Carmen returned, a little wind out of his sails.

“You lied, you told me you quit and clearly you haven’t,” Vanessa listed off. “It feels so disrespectful of you to do that in our home after I made it very clear I didn’t want you to.”

Carmen felt a little guilt. He knew he should feel more, but that’s what people did in the restaurant industry, they smoked cigarettes to keep from going insane. It was shitty he’d smoked at the apartment, even if he was outside, knowing how much Vanessa hated it.

And he had told her he quit several months ago, because he really did have every intent of doing so – but it was harder than he thought it would be as someone who only smoked one or two time s a week.

“I am sorry for smoking at the house,” he sighed, sounding anything but genuine.

“I can’t stand you,” Vanessa sighed. “I’ll see you at home, enjoy cleaning on your own,” she waved off, turning to leave the restaurant. She shouldn’t have come down there to begin with.

Carmen dropped his head down, hanging over the stainless steel counter.

He didn’t realize how much this affected her.

“Ness!” He called out, turning and heading to the dining room. She had a foot out the door and tossed him back a look that didn’t indicate she was too excited to talk to him anymore. “Can we talk about this?” He asked. Vanessa debated waiting outside for her Uber, but she remembered she was committing the rest of her life to this man, and they’d need to talk this out eventually.

Against her desires, she walked back into the restaurant, leaning against a tabletop.

“I am sorry,” he said, “I didn’t realize it was that big of a deal and I shouldn’t have tried to hide it.” He elaborated.

“I told you it was a big deal,” Vanessa frowned, “and you must have known on some level because when I asked, you lied.” Carmen leveled a direct stare with that blue gaze. It wasn’t too often they spoke to one another like this, but it was a serious situation after all. “It’s a deal breaker for me,” she added, watching as his eyebrows crept up toward his hairline.

“A deal breaker?” Carmen asked.

“Yeah, if you don’t care about yourself that much, it’s unfair to me,” Vanessa replied logically. “And I want babies, so it’s unfair to me, and it’s unfair to them,” she shrugged. “I’m not bringing them up in a house with cigarette smoke, or where their Dad is fine putting himself at risk for lung disease and cancer,” she finished. “You’re either with the program, or you’re not, I’m not doing it all alone.”

Carmen had tunnel vision. There was not anyone else on God’s green earth that was going to be raising babies with Vanessa, and if he had to give up a few cigs to ensure that, he would without hesitation.

“They’re gone,” he nodded. “They’re not worth it,” he said. They were both quiet for a few beats. “I’m sorry, Ness,” he said, much more softly.

“I accept your apology,” she mumbled, “still want to pinch you, though,” she added. Carmen barely allowed his mouth to turn up at its corners.

“You wanna pinch me?” He asked.

“Yeah, I really do,” she sighed, crossing one ankle over the other, perched gently against the table.

“Can I get within pinching distance?” He asked, not wanting to breach her personal space given the conversation they’d just had.

“Yeah, you can get closer,” she nodded. Carmen entered her personal bubble.

“Want to be annoyed with me at home?” He offered, “it’s getting late,” he commented. Vanessa nodded, letting him drape his arms around her shoulders. “I’m sorry baby,” he said, smoothing her hair back from her face, her big brown eyes looking up at him. God he was screwed if their babies had her eyes.

“I know,” she nodded. “No more beign mean to Syd and the team,” She said, tugging on the sides of his apron. Carmen huffed but nodded resolutely.

“Can’t believe they called you,” he murmured, pressing a kiss to the top of their head.

“They know who’s in charge.”

#Carmen Berzatto #carmy smut #carmy berzatto #carmen berzatto x reader #Carmy #carmen berzatto smut #carmen berzatto fluff #Carmen berzatto x ofc #the bear #the bear hulu #carmen the bear berzatto #carmy the bear #the bear fic

[miistymemorii]

To Settle a Bet pt 2

pairing: samuel kiszka x fem!reader

rating: E for everyone

warnings: “shitting, crying, pissing, throwing up, giggling, kicking your feet” fluff followed by BAM! angst 

A/N: I’m so happy to be writing again, and to be trying to do a series! Please enjoy

You had never known Sam to be a good cook. It wasn’t just you; it was everyone, really, but he was always making you try out little meals he found on the deepest parts of vegan Pinterest. You pinched your nose before taking a bite of the breakfast concoction he had left for you... and were pleasantly surprised when it tasted... decent? It was oatmeal (hard to mess up, but with Sam, anything was possible) with some fruit, a light coating of brown sugar sprinkled on top. He had also left you some coffee and a glass of juice. You took the food and moved to the back patio, Rosie merrily trotting behind you. The fresh air, the good food, the sober mind all made this a good time to think. 

You had dug yourself into a very deep hole. 

Sure, you had a crush on Sam. Sure, it had been festering for years. Sure, this was the perfect opportunity for you to spend as much time with Sam as humanly possible, to be close to him all the time. But this was cheesy, cliche, a recipe for disaster. The speech you were prepared to give Sam swirled around your head for almost another hour.

You heard the sound of the back sliding door, Sam whistling a tune as he plopped himself down next to you on the small porch swing. He yawned loudly then poked your shoulder. “So, you liked the food?”

You nodded, chewing slowly. You swallowed. Now is the time...

“We need to stop this-”

“We gotta cut this off-”

You both let out a small laugh. You quirked your eyebrow at him, giving him a small smile. “We gotta nip this in the bud. By noon, everyone will have paid each other, so we can come clean. Bet’s off for them, no reason to keep it up.”

You couldn’t bear to look Sam in the eye, but you caught his face in your peripheral. His usual goofy grin faltered a little, but he nodded, nonetheless. “Yeah, yeah, that’s what I was going to say.”

A silence fell over the two of you. Shit... this was going way more awkward than you had hoped. Your mind raced to think of anything to break the void. 

“Shit.”

Sam shot up, pulling his phone out of his pocket. “Shit, shit, shit...” He swiped through his phone for a bit, then rolled his eyes with a groan. “Fuck!”

“Care to indulge me in this sudden outburst, Sammy?”

He looked like a kid that had gotten caught with his hands in the cookie jar. “Uh... I uh... I kinda, well, you see-”

“Samuel?”

He took a deep breath, then exhaled, his words flowing together. “ImighthavetoldmymomweweredatingandthatwewouldgotomyauntSarah’sweddingtogether.”

You set the bowl down calmly, then stood up, exhaling through your nose. “You did what??”

“I... I mean, it was when I dropped everyone off this morning. My mom called, talking about this wedding... it just slipped out!”

“What exactly slipped out, Sam?!”

“I dunno, something like, ‘Can y/n come?’ and then, ‘Sure! Do you want me to tell Aunt Sara she’ll be your guest?’ and then maybe I was like,” he did a pathetic attempt at jazz hands, “‘Well actually, we’re dating!’”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, closing your eyes. You had wanted this to be easy. “Sam-”

“No no no, listen! Aunt Sara is having a small wedding. It’s in less than a month... the time will come and pass so quickly.”

“Sam, do you not realize that means we have to keep this act up for a whole month?” You groaned out. You could feel a headache coming on, and not just from the hangover. 

Sam sighed, then took your hands in his. You looked at him, your heart melting at the desperate look in his eyes. “Look, I’m sorry, it just slipped out. But I’m with you - there’s no need to keep this up. I can call my mom and tell her it was a joke; she’ll laugh it off.”

You sighed and shook your head. “No... it’s fine. I’m sorry, I’m not upset.” You let out a small, humored laugh. “We just need to agree that this started as a drunken, one-off thing, and it escalated a bit. But that’s it.”

“Oh yeah, for sure.” Sammy reached behind you and picked up your bowl then made his way inside. You stayed there for a moment, frozen from the shock of his casualness. After you gathered yourself, you padded back inside. Sam was humming to himself as he washed your bowl in the sink.  He set it to dry, then flicked his hands out, dispersing the water. He turned to you, leaning across the kitchen island. “We need to make some rules.”

You rolled your eye, giggling. “You? Proposing rules? Who is this new Sam I’m getting?”

“Yeah yeah, keep your shorts on. Now, we gotta have a safe word-”

“Kinky.”

“-Gotta have a safe word, like in case one of us gets uncomfortable. I say we use zucchini. Thoughts?”

“Zucchini?”

“Zucchini.”

“I can do zucchini.” You shrugged. There was a pause, and you realized he was waiting for you to set a rule. Your eyes widened as you quickly spit out, “You can’t fall in love with me.”

Sam’s eyes widened as well, but only for a split second. Then, he scoffed. “Well, aren’t you little miss humble?” He came around the island to where you stood. He was so close you could see the flecks of hazel in his eyes. His mouth twitched a little, like he wanted to say more. You waited, but nothing; his mouth settled.

You gulped. “Good, I’m glad that’s all settled.” You said quietly. “I, uh, I gotta water my plants. Clean up my house, change, you know...” Shit. You didn’t mean to segway that hard. 

He nodded, a small frown melting his face. “Yeah.” He said softly, stepping to the side. 

You gathered your things quickly and exchanged a quick goodbye before you drove home. You took a cold shower then flopped face first on your bed. Your mind was repeating dangerous details from last night. His hand on your thigh. His arm curled around the back of your legs. The way he kissed your forehead. Every time he had spoken softly. You groaned, burying your face into your pillow. You refused to overthink this simple joke. 

You wasted the day away watching tv, making lunch, reading, taking a walk... and yet your mind was on Sam. The sun was about to set, the dark orange light coming through the windows. You settled into bed and put on a movie, ready to empty your mind. 

You don’t remember falling asleep, but the next thing you knew, all you could hear was the screeching of your phone vibrating against your glass coffee table. You opened your eyes and peered down at the phone screen. It was Sam. You caught the time - 3:35 am. You knew there was no good reason he would calling you other than to drunkenly talk your ear off. You willed yourself to stand and shuffled to bed. You were about to drift back to sleep when your phone dinged. You squinted at the screen, and it read that you had a voicemail from Sam. You rolled your eyes and swiped it open, pressing play and holding it to your ear.

There was loud music and conversation happening, but you could hear Sammy giggling loudly. “HEYYYY!!!! Hey you!!” He hiccupped. “I just wanna say a few things, ‘kay? Numbah ONE: I am drunk. Numbah TWO: you are RUUUUDE for not answering my call! Like? RUDE!?” Another hiccup. “Numbah THREE?” There was a small pause then he giggled, “I DON’T HAVE A NUMBAH THREE!” He barked out a loud, maniacal laugh, causing you to wince and move the phone away from your head. You almost turned off your phone for the night, but Sammy had started singing your name in the voicemail recording. You put it back to your ear. “Well, I should go home, anyways, I suppooooose. I just wanted to say goodnight! Mwah! Goodnight dahling!”

The recording ended and you slowly put your phone back down on the bedside table. Your heart was racing, and your stomach was fluttering. Fuck, the things Samuel Kiszka did to you.

You closed your eyes, but you couldn’t fall back asleep. It wasn’t too long until you could hear rain picking up outside. Maybe that would help. 

What didn’t help, was the sound of your doorbell being rung. 

It had to be him. You groaned and pulled yourself out of bed, stomping to the front door. You looked out the peephole and saw a very wet, very flushed Sam, wearing a large pair of glittery sunglasses. you opened the door and shook your head. You grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him inside, your mouth opening to lecture him. He stumbled inside, grabbing your wrist that held onto his shirt. When he gained stabilization, he was holding you close to him, your chests touching. So close, in fact, that you could see his eyes through his sunglasses. They were wide and searching. Needing.

His lips smashed into yours. 

His hand stayed on your wrist, but loosely. He was giving you an out, if you wanted one. You didn’t. Your other hand flew it his shoulder, holding his close. He sighed against your mouth, his hands moving to cup your face. After a few moments of your dreams coming true, he pulled away, gasping quietly for breath. He pressed his forehead to yours, his breath warm against your cheeks.

“I’m so fucking tired.” He mumbled out. 

You hummed, your tongue darting out to get one another taste of Sam on your lips. “You can sleep here tonight.” You whispered back.

He sighed, and your nose crinkled at the smell of alcohol in his breath. He gulped, then whispered, “Can I sleep on the couch?”

Fuck.

But of course, you said yes, albeit quietly. You gave him the other pillow from your bed and some blankets, and he whispered a goodnight before you padded back to your room. You settled back under the covers. Your hand reached out, where your other pillow was, where you had hoped Sam would be. Instead, there was nothing. 

#sam kiszka #sammy kiszka #sam gvf #sam kiszka fanfiction #sam kiszka x reader #gvf x reader #gvf fanfiction #fluff #angst #gvf

[peoplepersonoaktree]

Is this how I reply to comments like this? Idk. Anyway~

@banana-pancake5 if you actually wanted me to answer this, here-

HOLY CRAP THIS IS GONNA BE LONG-

Hopefully not too long- I'll try not to rant too much, we'll se tho

so, the Au is your basic, “what if Mikey wasn’t able to open a portal?” Au, which has been done a whole lot, I know, but oh well. I’ve been working on it since like, July and I’ve only gotten to pg 19, so idk if I’ll ever finish it.

so, one day, in like, mid June, when I first started actually trying to draw the turtles, I started drawing a thing in this little baby sketchbook I have, based on the song “Georgia” by Jonah Kagen. And then I sent it to my friend. And then it grew and we eventually came up with this and this entire storyline. We just kinda plotted this thing out where like, two weeks after the invasion, Donnie starts getting these weird visions of Leo in the prison dimension because why not, and tries to get him back with Casey's help or whatever because he thinks that these visions mean that Leo's still alive. Here’s the original pictures because I think they can be in here-

Idk. I didn’t know how to draw clothes and still don’t 😃👍

I don’t think I’ll ever post the comic on tumblr or anywhere because I probably won’t ever finish it, but if I get to a certain point in the comic, (which is way far away) maybe I will. Idk.

*Cough* and then I also have a mini thing where I turned them all into mushroom people but that's a whole different thing-

NOW TO THE KID’S SHOW WHICH IS THE PART I’M ACTUALLY EXCITED ABOUT~

Like I said in this post, my friend texted me at like, 2 am on a school night, and was like, "Hey, hey hey... wanna write and animate a kid's show w/ me??" and I said heck yeah because I definitely have time for that. I asked her if she had any idea for what it would be about or anything like that and she did not, so we just kinda... pulled something out of the ground the next day and I ended up getting obsessed.

So, the kid's show...

We haven't figured out a name for it because we're both indecisive, which is... bad if you're trying to get something done. But we got characters and half a storyline settled!

So, the show is centered around four main characters, Atlas (A deer), Fern (A fox), Nutmeg (Mouse), and M I L D R E D (a chickadee). They're also in the post linked above.

The show would be about these four, going on little adventures, exploring the forest where they live, discovering odd creatures (thinking about adding in a few Acorn Creetchurs because that would be fun) and just living life

but as the series continues, the colors start to get more muted and the backgrounds start to get more gray, as if the life is being drained out of the forest.

one day, while exploring, they come upon this odd sort of... black goop that's spreading across the forest floor, infecting and killing everything it comes into contact with. Then, the four of them have to find a way to stop the spread of this odd goop. This goop represents pollution/deforestation, and we have a few ideas for how the goop started, one of my favorites being that it's controlled by some sort of animal spirit that grew up in a heavily polluted area and died at a young age because of the conditions and the only reason it's spreading is because it wants to be able to breathe fresh air and drink clean water for once, but it can't, because everything it touches immediately becomes polluted.

We both went into this knowing absolutely N O T H I N G about animating, so it'll probably be a few years until we're actually able to do anything with this, if we do anything with it.

That- that little animation is the most I can do with animation. That's the best I got.

#holy crap that's a lot- #I hope this is everything #hopefully it's not just my adhd rambling an it actually makes sense #idk how to draw deer guys #art #sketch #my art #rottmnt #acorn creetchurs #rottmnt au #kid's show #atlas the deer #nutmeg the mouse #fern the fox #mildred the chickadee #I also don't know how to draw birds #animation #rottmnt donnie #rottmnt leo #rise of the tmnt #digital art #i hate tags sm #that's enough I think #I might delete this because I hate my ramblings- #Acorn ramble #posting this late so I go to sleep and can't check tumblr every 2 mins to see if anything happened-

[yuulina-vre]

Fear - Chapter seven

Summary: Y/N lives the life she always dreamed about. a job she loves, a fiancé that does everything for her, and a house she dreamed of. There are hiccups on the way, but Y/N's still pretty satisfied with where she stands in life. Though a word can be powerful, especially if it's said to the wrong person. Y/N would never have thought that she ever gets to experience how bad it can turn out. For her and the loved ones around her.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word count: 1.9k

Warnings: none

Series Masterlist // Masterlist

It feels like an eternity. The whole time Bucky’s gone, I’m fighting my tired eyes and exhausted body. I don’t want to give into the bliss of sleep that tries to lure me in. The fear that holds is now less of what happened but more of what is to come. I know my mind well enough to know that nightmares will follow me into my sleep, making pictures up that are worse than what I would dare to imagine.

My tea is finally empty, and the sun starts to rise, slowly filling the room with a bit of light that doesn’t come from the lamps. The rain is slowly getting less and less, the wind receding to a breeze. Usually, that is the time I would open each and every window close to me to smell the freshness that rainfall brings and let the breeze into the house to bring a bit of fresh air in. but I don’t get up, don’t even move much. I turn a bit to lie on my back, staring at the blank white ceiling. Sam had been right. Everything is where it’s supposed to be; nothing is out of order. A few magazines lay elsewhere, but those were the ones Bucky frequently reads, and the fruit bowl is a bit emptier. But I conclude that this is because I can’t expect Bucky to stop living in our house just because we had a fight, and I was gone for a week. All the small changes I can see are plausible signs of a human being living in this house.

I notice a bit of dust as I turn onto my other side and face the room again. I probably should clean up a bit.

The thought pops into my head, making me snort. How ridiculous is that? Here I lie, after a panic attack and almost frightened to death because something feels really off, and what I think of is cleaning the house. Especially since I’m not a big fan of cleaning up. Unfortunately, Bucky isn't either, so we created a plan to divide housework between us, so we take turns. It entails everything from bringing the trash out, cleaning the house, washing the laundry, changing the sheets to garden work, and cleaning the cars. We quickly learned that both of us like some chores more than others. Bucky loves getting the cars clean and taken care of. That’s not a surprise since he always had a fable for cars, but what did surprise me is that he loves changing the sheets of the beds and taking care of the laundry. He does that while whistling or blaring music through the house. More often than not, I can find him dancing ridiculously around. Sometimes he ducks his head in embarrassment and gets back to work, other times he’s so carefree he pulls me in, and we dance for hours. Housework is totally forgotten.

In exchange, I love cooking and garden work since that relaxes me deeply and takes my mind off patients and cases. Those chores are not divided that evenly. They pop up more on the chart of who loves to take care of them. No one can complain like this, and at times we switch it up. Bucky always complains that we just should leave the ones we like on our charts and divide what we hate. But I always try to tell him that he should cook from time to time, just to make sure he’s not dying or living off fast food when I’m not around. He hates it but agrees.

I wait a few more minutes, hoping Bucky will return any moment. I desperately want to lie down with him, cuddle into his side, and try to sleep while his heartbeat and steady breathing soothe me. But Bucky doesn’t come. A sigh leaves my lips, and I push myself up tiredly, back into a sitting position. I look around, contemplating what I should do. I don’t feel up to going to bed alone, but sitting here isn’t any better. More tea would be good. So, I get off the couch, grab my empty mug, and leave the duvet behind as I walk to the kitchen door. I stop just outside, looking through the slit, but I don’t see anyone. When did Bucky get up and away? Are they somewhere in the house?

I listened for a moment. Nothing. Did they really leave me alone? I would actually call myself a runaway animal and not particularly curious if it wasn't about my patients. But now I can't deny it. I want to know what’s going on.

I open the door and step into the kitchen. It is vacant, so I walk over to the sink and put the mug in there for later, then I venture over to the glass door. It's open, and I know for a fact that it was closed. Bucky and Sam said all doors are shut. Did they go into the garden? While it rains this much? I stop in the frame and peer out into the garden. It’s still drizzling a bit, but solely the sun is making its way through the clouds. The garden is lighted up enough that I can see two man way back by the shed. I squint a little trying to see what they are doing, but I can’t really make anything out. I am about to shout for them when Sam turns around. He stops for a moment before his hand slaps on Bucky’s arm. A bit confused, he looks up, saying something, but all Sam does is nod in my direction, and Bucky’s gaze follows. What's that? Is there something lying? A cat? Nonsense. I shake my head at the thought. What would he want with a cat? Whatever my fiancé’s holding in his hand, he puts it in Sam's hand, and quickly jogs towards me. When he gets closer, I see he’s wearing gardening gloves. “Sweetheart, what are you doing up? I thought you would be asleep.” I only shake my head at his words, still staring at his hands in confusion. “Please, baby, go back inside. Not that you catch a cold. You’re hardly wearing anything.” I look down on myself and blushed. Oh, my God. He is right. The robe has opened slightly, revealing that I wear hardly anything underneath hastily tighten the ribbon again, pulling everything so it covers my half-undressed state. Bucky removes his gloves and throws them on one of the chairs in the conservatory.

Then he turns me around by my shoulders and leads me back into the living room. “Sweetheart, please. You should rest.” He wraps the blanket around my shoulders again, and as he lets go of me again, I quickly grab his wrist. Maybe I grab too tight because my fingers turn nearly white, and Bucky hisses slightly. I can’t tell if it’s because I hurt him or he’s just surprised. “Bucky, what have you found? Why do you have to wear gloves?” I look at him and see his face trying to put on a mask of innocence, though his eyes won't meet mine. “What are you hiding from me?” My voice is soft and confused. Maybe it holds a bit of hurt because his eyes instantly switch to mine.

You don't have to be a genius to see that he’s feverishly searching for an answer. His gaze quickly wanders to the left and focuses on a dirty spot on the kitchen island that does not exist. Slowly he wrings his wrist out of my grip, lifting my hand to press a soft kiss against my palm. “Don’t worry. Just a dead animal. Looks like a raccoon. Sam is so friendly and... disposes of it.” He squeezes me and disappears shortly afterward. I’m still perplexed and look at the door. He lied. It’s not like it never happened before, but suddenly I feel highly offended. The anger of the past week flickers through my mind. Why would he dispose of it right now if it's just one random animal? In the rain? It could’ve waited till the weather is better.

I am feverishly thinking about what to do next. I really should go back to the bedroom. The couch is nice and all, but I won't be able to fall asleep on it anyway. Shaking my head, I get up, clutching the duvet to my body and lifting the bottom so I won’t fall over on the stairs. The whole track up my mind is occupied by the fact that Bucky definitely tries to hide something from me. In our bedroom, I walk over to the open closet and grab a pair of Bucky’s sweatpants and an old shirt of his. Then I shut the door. I just turn around as a thought comes to my mind and lets me face the door again. Was it open when we left?

I stare a second longer, but then I throw the thought overboard. I’m probably just being paranoid. I turn back to our bed, ready to climb in, but then I reconsider. Fine, if you're keeping a secret about what you found, it's got to be something you don't want me to know about. Ergo, it must be something you want to keep from me. What if this isn't the first thing that's happened? Otherwise, you'd have come home alone, like always. There's nothing scary about a dead animal. Besides, that feeling doesn't come from a dead animal. Something alive was here.

I decide to swallow my fear and go to his study. If he’s hiding something, I will likely find something in there. I found out years ago that Bucky was writing a digital diary. But he doesn't know that, and I’m not going to tell him. However, a big chunk of my brain shouts at me not to do that. It’s a major act of distrust, and I don’t really want to be that kind of person that snoops around in the highly personal stuff of their lover. And it’s probably difficult to explain what I have been doing at his computer anyway, though it’s more of a shared office. With a highly guilty conscious, I leave our bedroom and walk a few feet to our office door. I quickly slip inside and walk to Bucky’s desk but accidentally knock over his trash can. It falls, and its contents fly onto the floor, some paper balls rolling around. I roll my eyes with a groan. Bucky always crumbles his papers into small balls. Sometimes out of boredom, so he can try and throw it through the room, hitting several targets, he thought about before, and sometimes just because he’s frustrated. I actually have a small basketball basket hidden under the bed that I want to gift him. He can mount it to the wall opposite his desk and put the trashcan under it. Maybe I don’t have to clean up so much then. I lean down to quickly pick them up, but then my gaze catches something else. What's that?

I stand back up and walk over to the light switch. The room’s still pretty dark so I can’t really see anything. The small room lights up, so I turn back onto the floor to the spot that caught my attention. But what I see is not what I expected. A scream leaves me.

Taglist:

@cjand10

#Bucky Branes #Bucky x Reader #Reader insert #Bucky Barnes x Reader #Bucky Barnes x Female Reader #yuulina writes #Fear