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aurorae-system · 1 year

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self-imposed ask game question answering as a system exercise!

Answering ones we know we have an immediate answer to. I'll probably challenge myself to answer harder ones sometime soon :] ~

3. How do you figure out who you are in the moment?

Usually we do something or react to something in a way where we're like "Haha [alter] would totally do that" ... "wait a minute—". then we try to Feel Our Vibe to confirm it. sometimes we can, sometimes we can't.

7. What’s sexuality like for you? Does having multiple parts affect your relationships?

It's a fucking mess </3. We don't have nor have we actually ever had a romantic relationship, but it's certainly made crushes and pining extremely difficult to navigate.

Some of us love the idea of romance. Some of us are neutral about it. Some of us hate romance and think it's stupid/fake/etc. Then some of us like exclusively men. While some of us are bi. Some are aroace. Some are aro w/ sexual attraction. Some are ace w/ romantic attraction. Some have no idea and don't care.

And before we were aware of the system, this made romantic endeavors practically impossible. Oh I really like this guy... Ew no I don't?! Love is a lie, I'm never getting involved with romance. Love is what makes the world go round, I need a partner!!! Man, that girl is really attractive. Yeah I just can't see myself ever being attracted or being interested in women. It's never happened, soooo. And so on lmao.

12. Do any of your parts have special relationships with eachother? Would you like to share about some?

Yep! We have two littles who are twins, and then they also have a little sibling! So 3 of our littles are family. That's the only relationship/connection any of our alters have with one another that we are aware of.

13. Do you have parts that oppose eachother? (In views, personality, ect)

Oh god yes. Honestly that's what kinda got us to start questioning being a system. We'd share an opinion with friends, or make some type of comment on something. Then later (sometimes even that same day lmao) look back and go "Huh? Why did I say that... I don't think that. Like at all. Wtf...?" We could still remember doing it, but it was like... It didn't feel like "I" had said that. I had just chalked it up to BPD for awhile until I finally had more Realizations, lol.

14. Who’s the part that is most likely to deal with high-stress situations first?

Hmm... either Nine or Locke, probably. Though it depends what the stressor is/what happened. Because Night gets triggered to front usually whenever the stress is specifically someone doing something that violates our boundaries, values, self-respect, etc. Which does happen in this house often lmao.

While Nine is our primary protector and fronts in either more general stressful events or events where it wasn't super interpersonally sensitive. Though he almost always handles interpersonal arguments and assertive communication.

Locke is kinda... tbh don't really know what his deal is exactly. He seems to front when we really need to not be emotionally there At All. His emotions are very dull, but they're still there. He's just calm and regulated. It's extremely difficult to rile him up. This seems to happen in stressful situations where no action on our part is needed. We don't need to actively protect ourselves because we either won't need to at all or don't need to yet.

18. Are there any reoccurring themes or symbolism in your system? Would you like to share about it?

The only one I can think of is wearing earrings KDJNSJD. Like, almost every teen and up alter has earrings, even (or especially) the guys. Does kinda make sense personally. For some reason as a kid I just... really loved the idea of earrings and getting my ears pierced. But I never could.

25. Do you know what your parts look like? If so, how do you visualize them?

Most of them, yeah. Usually it starts out, upon discovery, getting flashing images in my head on a few main physical characteristics. Typically hair color, vague hairstyle, and a facial expression. Then I try to focus on that to get a clearer image and/or acquire more details on other parts of their appearance. Lastly, I go to picrew and just kinda trial and error the rest. Try and let them tell me what to pick or otherwise push me in the correct directions. Then if they eventually front, it may get refined by them.

27. Has anyone ever told you something you did or said without you knowing?

YEAH LOL. It hasn't happened too many times, but it's happened. Typically it's about sometime in the relative past, though.

I always thought I had a really good memory, and to my knowledge I did. I always shocked people with remembering minor things in surprising detail. And I never had any trouble with memorization when it came to assessments in school. I liked to refer to my memory growing up as "semi photographic". I could study a piece of paper, say a page from a study guide, for a few minutes and I'd have it memorized. I could visualize it in my head and read it from that visualization with very high accuracy. I could remember and recall things I heard, or parts of them, almost exactly word-for-word. But it didn't seem to be 100% on par with how photographic memory was usually described.

So when someone referenced something I supposedly did, like, 6 months–a year ago, and I can't remember ANYTHING about what they're talking about, it was very unnerving. Something that many others also very clearly remember me doing. Sometimes I would think they're messing with me if it was just one person. Like yeah right. If I have no memory whatsoever of doing that, I obviously didn't actually do it. I of all people would surely remember.

29. How many known parts do you have, if you can count?

As of 1/1/23, I am aware of 18 alters, not including me.

Because uh... I honest to god do not know if whoever I am is the host, or if maybe "I'm" just the persona we've masked as for like almost a decade now. Like a bow on a present, if that makes any sense. Am I [Host]? Or am I an already known (or unknown) alter masking and just using the name we've gone by for 8+ years now?? No idea!!

#~ Aurora #osddid #osdd #dissociative identity disorder #actually dissociative

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xekstrin · 7 years

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So Roots was a story I was going to write about Ruby growing up as a trans girl & figuring out her identity, as well as unraveling the mystery of “why do ruby and yang have different last names? and who is Summer?” but it’s mostly a story about Yang and Summer

When I started writing it we knew NOTHING about Yang, Ruby, or Summer, so in this story Yang isn’t Ruby’s sister, but Summer is. Their dad is named Ash Rose and I never gave their mother a name. Naturally a lot of shit got jossed so I dropped it but @arulaen reminded me I’ve never posted the whole story. I’m literally never going to write any more but I did like the ideas I had. (And it’s very On Brand for the shit I like).

Anyway, in the last chapter of Roots we met the death-predicting cat named Grimm. (This is based on a real cat.) Summer watches that cat with dread as over the next few days he goes to every single person she saved in the hospital, just hours before they die, until there’s only one person left. Summer is sick with grief at not being able to save these people, and Ruby sees being a huntress isn’t all heroism and fairy tales.

Summer hates that cat. Ruby feels a little bad for him and suggest that maybe predicting death is like his Semblance, he didn’t choose it : ( don’t be mean to the cat, sis. Summer stays with that last patient until one day Grimm comes back. He always wanders around but every time she sees him, Summer gets a little heart attack. Please take me instead, she thinks weakly, sleep-deprived and weary from days spent in the hospital watching over the sole survivor. Please let me save just one person.

Maybe it worked, maybe it didn’t, maybe Summer was praying to a cat. But Grimm never swings by and the last person survives and recovers and wakes up. Her name, of course, is Yang Xiao Long.

Her family is gone so Summer begs Ash to adopt Yang.

There’s a bit of a legal dilemma where Ash tries to adopt Yang but it never goes through. Something something but he’s able to keep her in his family as his apprentice, but it’s tenuous, and the threat of her being sent into the foster system is high. Summer makes her father promise, swear on his life, that he’ll never let Yang be alone and afraid ever again.

Summer immediately and strongly forms a deep attachment to the only survivor of the grimm attack. But Yang lost most of her memory, didn’t remember Summer saved her life, & Summer is a repressed little jerk and doesn’t know how to talk about feelings. It’s a bit of a “pull on your pigtails cause I like you” thing which Yang, understandably, does not appreciate. She keeps her hair short out of spite.

Yang doesn’t ever recover her memories but it’s heavily implied she harnessed her semblance at that young age and that’s how she was able to survive. But she doesn’t know how to use it now. So Summer tries giving her “tough love”, training her how to be a huntress and telling her things like “In this world you need to learn how to fight for survival or else you’ll rely on people like me saving you over and over again & I’m not always going to be there. On top of that if you don’t make it as a huntress, Ash can’t keep you as his apprentice!” and Yang is like “fuck you!!! I don’t need you to save me and I never did and I never will! I’m gonna be a huntress, & I’m gonna be BETTER THAN YOU”

Not only that, but Summer and Yang would get into constant fights over how to raise Ruby, as both of them see themselves as her older sister / mother figure.

“Stop being so rough with her! She’s just a kid!”

“If you think that’s rough, you should see the games we play at Signal >:)”

Summer is much more harsh and is the “toss you into the lake so you learn how to swim” borderline abusive kind of teacher. Yang is much more gentle, so Ruby and Yang obviously become very close very fast.

Summer feels a little left out as she leaves for Beacon. Yang gets accepted into Signal and continues training Ruby until Ruby joins her. It’s a rough two years for Ruby, who retreats inside herself more than ever. Ruby and Summer keep in touch but the relationship gets pretty chilly.

(More bullshit about how Yang and Ruby want to be legal sisters so bad, so bad, Ruby feels guilty for sometimes lying awake at night, sleeping in the same bed as Yang, thinking if only Yang were my real sister and not---)

Summer rarely comes home because she prefers the independence of life at Beacon (she didn’t get along with Ash, either). She’s very selfish and rude and mean and a lone wolf and gets into trouble a lot, but she’s the best huntress of her generation and everyone knows it.

Meanwhile Ruby is slowly breaking out of her shell and making new friends at Signal, but she hasn’t come out to anyone except Yang.

So when Summer finally comes back to visit them in person it’s been years since they’ve seen each other in the flesh. Ruby & Yang have both grown up and Yang is about to graduate from Signal. Ruby comes out to Summer and Summer is extremely excited and supportive! (she always knew tbh, ever since Ruby chose her new name)

Summer & Yang are both kinda tomboyish and they’re both :\ about Ruby being super femme, but they go halfsies on buying her a brand spankin new super fluffy hyper femme wardrobe, because goddamn you if you’re going to try and outspoil her on my watch, she’s MY Sister

The trip home ends on an unusually high note, and Summer and Yang grow much closer because they finally realize the most important thing they have in common is they would set the world on fire if it meant protecting Ruby. Summer also comes to grudgingly respect Yang’s strength as a huntress, because she’s top of her class and gunning for all of Summer’s old records.

Take that, bitch.

So on a whim Summer demands that Yang write to her as often as Ruby does. Yang agrees, but half-heartedly, and both of them expect nothing to come of it. But Yang keeps up regular correspondence with Summer, and grudgingly starts to respect her as an adult huntress-to-be. She actually writes letters to Summer more often than Ruby does, which makes Ruby feel very “:)??”

Summer isn’t that much older than Yang but she’s on an accelerated course (as Ruby later would be).

So she graduates Beacon and comes home again as a legal adult, and a huntress, and she asks Yang to marry her.

Yang:

Summer: Don’t get it twisted. This is just so that you can join our family. I’m aroace anyway, like Ruby is (and also probably our uncle Qrow) and I’m not interested in anything else from you.

In Summer’s eyes, it’s a win-win situation. She can finally relax, knowing that Yang will always be taken care of. And Yang gets what she always wanted, which is to be Ruby’s sister. (Plus, Summer gets a pay bonus if she’s married. Cha-ching!) Since she’s like 19 and an idiot this seems like a great setup.

Yang is like “I’m 16 dude” and Summer is like “yea? so?” and yang is like “I can’t get married as a kid that’s like leaving the party at nine o’clock” and summer is like “well who else are you gonna marry :\” and Yang is like “IDK!! maybe nobody! Maybe somebody I love!” and Summer is like “you're making a real big deal out of this”

Yang: “you’re not making big ENOUGH of a deal out of it!”

Summer: “I’m proposing a solution and you’re shitting all over it! RAAAH!!!!!”

Yang: “You’re proposing one? ;D wait shit this isn’t the time for jokes im mad as hell!”

Summer gives her the ring and tells her to think about it. Summer is already wearing hers, because she’s always been a cocky motherfucker.

Fast forward a few years to Weiss’ POV for a few chapters. She’s crushing hard on Yang, her team mate at Beacon, but refuses to admit it. Ruby is on an accelerated track just like Summer was. There’s a few episodes of them dealing with problems and a few missions and Ruby finds out that Summer was involved in some shady stuff before she died. Really shady stuff. Yang has no opinion but she winds up defending Summer and Ruby is like :\

So there’s increasingly weird things happening and then someone even tries to set fire to the school! Everyone abandons ship... but Ruby is like “NO! NO!!” and fighting Yang like a wildcat trying to get back inside

Yang: wtf is your problem!? Ruby: Summer’s in there! Yang immediately changes tack and they both jump into the flaming inferno.

Weiss: (who the fuck is summer? and WHY IS THIS MY TEAM OH MY GOD)

Ruby and Yang jump right into the flames and recover one of the only photos of the three of them that they have. They do some cool shit with their semblances to put out the fire. Ruby recovers the photo and Yang comes out, all smiles, and is like “Oh Weiss I saved some of your stuff too :) and Blake’s too of course”

Blake: My heroes Weiss: (why do I have a crush on this idiot why is my face this hot)

Yang also saved the rings. She now wears them both on a necklace.

Ozluminati shenanigans are rampant and the tournament is used as an excuse for some BAD GUYS to storm the school and try to find something really precious hidden underneath. (Another big part of the reason I dropped Roots was because they wound up using this plot point in canon, hahaha.)

So naturally the leader of the bad guys is.... SUMMER?! And she’s got a cool robot arm, because robot arms are sick. Weiss sees Yang and Ruby are especially rattled because... well, there’s not a lot of time to explain.

Summer: Why’d you cut your hair short? You know I like your hair long Ruby: PIXIE CUTS ARE VERY IN THESE DAYS WAIT WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS

Somewhere in here I was going to have a #romantic moonlit scene where Yang explains that they never recovered Summer’s body but they recovered The Ring and Summer was her... fiancee? maybe? She doesn’t even know, they were both stupid kids, it probably wouldn’t have happened. But the fact remains that Summer dying meant that Yang lost... so much. (Weiss: wow Yang is so tormented and beautiful mmmm im gay)

But they have to RACE SUMMER THROUGH A LABYRINTH OF TRAPS N SHIT underneath beacon. Blake and Weiss team up to fight other people and let the sisters go thru THE MAZZZZE.

And of course there’s one room that traps Ruby and Summer together and they have to fight! And it’s the last room and The Artifact is right there within reach and if you want it you have to get through me, Summer! and Summer is like Ozpin is using you! He’s using you like he used me and I am NOT the bad guy here! and Ruby is like You don’t get to say that after hurting innocent people!

Yang is trapped just outside unable to do anything but watch because #magic force fields or something, and it’s just like a sick twisted repeat of when they were kids and Summer would abuse Ruby under the guise of toughening her up. And Summer beats the dogshit out of her and is like There’s nothing you can do! I’ve always been the stronger Rose and this Artifact is mine cause I’m the only one who can use it! and ruby is like WHYYYYY SISTER!!! and Summer is like I’m in debt to some Bad People, Ruby... people who make me and Ozpin look like angels!

Ruby is like What do they want with this artifact then? and summer is like lol.... not my problem. B)

And she pushes Ruby over the edge and then suddenly Ruby gets Red Eyes.

Summer: oh shit

Turns out the Artifact is something that lets you leech other people’s semblances? And it’s attuned to her?! So Ruby has Summer’s AND Yang’s and her own semblance and bang! she beats Summer and takes the Artifact and the force fields all drop. Backup swiftly arrives and Ruby is a big weepy bleeding mess as they take Summer away to HUNTRESS PRISON or w/e.

So then the story starts winding down with Yang Weiss Blake and Ruby talking to Ozpin, very “Dumbledore explains everything at the end of the book” where Ozpin is like “this artifact is a part of a great prophecy and it said that the daughter of [some old ruby ancestor] would take it one day :\ I thought it was Summer but now I realize it’s you, Ruby”

and ruby is like “what! I don’t wanna be a part of a big prophecy, I have normal knees!”

and Ozpin is like “mmmm But Thou Must Ruby and now we’re going to leave it really vague! Dangling plot threads! Who was Summer working for? Maybe Cinder? Xekstrin didn’t plan for a sequel.”

So Yang visits Summer in Huntress Prison to ask her questions. Weiss is there for emotional support and DEFINITELY not because she wants to see this ex-fiancee of Yang’s out of jealousy. Ruby is basically like Summer is dead to me

Yang offers the rings to Summer but summer is like “nah, you keep them. that’s contraband ;)” Summer doesn’t seem defeated at all and, throwing everyone off, keeps the tone very light and almost nostalgic.

Weiss leaves determined to keep her feelings for Yang under wraps. She doesn’t want to burden her friend with them.

The story ends with Yang thinking about the last time she saw Summer before Summer faked her death. They’d stayed up all night talking and fell asleep in the same bed. It’s sort of like what Yang does with Ruby sometimes, but Ruby is her sister and Summer is..... Summer.

Yang wakes up first and watches Summer in her sleep. She’s considering the proposal, even though Summer has been more withdrawn lately, and taking on more dangerous missions, and looking haggard like something is chasing her even in her dreams...

Summer wakes up and sleepily runs her left hand through Yang’s hair. Half-awake, she mutters “You look like an angel with the sun in your hair like that. You should let it grow out so you can be this pretty when we get married.”

It’s just an idle comment, but the idea is like a seed, slowly taking root in Yang’s heart.

#Roots #that's all folks!#i wonder if i should tag this as #fanfiction #rwby #summer rose #headcanon

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