#this is rambling

[nothingbutloveforyou]

i guess all i've ever wanted know.. was how it feels like when someone really wants you. i have no idea what it feels like to be wanted, to be desired. i don't know how people talk to you or treat you, if they go out of their way to do something for you. i wouldn't know, it has never happened. and i sit and wonder, can it even happen? some things never happen and that might be one of them. so i just watch as it happens to other people, wondering if i'll ever be one of them.

#this is part of #crying while typing this #this is a vent #this is rambling #nothingbutloveforyou

[dozyrogue]

So since I've already kind of discussed how qtubbo Is acting differently with the friends. The only other person we didn't get that I really wanted was pac and phil but more specifically pac.

The other day was the first time in a long time pac and tubbo were even together. He planned a murder with yd tho.... Kinda, yd was planing to kill him and tubbos absolute ability to be a very polite wet cat turned her off?? That's normal qtubbo behavior tho lol. Honestly murder more people qtubbo. Its good enrichment. Yd and tubbo murder hide n seek game.

Anyway I'm gonna take this as canon, that pac is another person hes calm with. He was very chill talking with qpac. Like how he is with qbagi he was just following her around all quiet. Like will pac think very thing is fine cuz hes "normal" and then he hears from fit that hes fucking unhinged.

cuz I don't think I could handle him yelling at pac. Pac makes me sad it be like when in purgatory qcellbit killed him. Sent me in a coma.

Actually it be pretty cool if he's fine with pac by himself but when he's with fit tubbo is the aggressive angry version of himself.. My fave headcanon now. Their relationship was one of the factors for his spiral so its a cool thought

Actually that's canon now lmao./j

#qsmp tubbo #qsmp pac #create more drama it be fun plzplzplz #picking apart random streams for a bit of anything is so fun #this is rambling #but i hope you get what i mean

[gilded-atlas]

I'm sure this has been brought up before, but I feel like people who insist that ben is dean's biological kid are kind of missing the point. for one, none of the things they have in common are genetic, and second, the entire show was about how family isn't just biological. family don't end in blood, and all that. whether or not ben is dean's bio son doesn't matter, because either way, dean was a dad to him, at least while they knew each other. spn has always emphasised that we choose our family, so I honestly think it fits the message better if they aren't blood related, but if dean chooses him anyways.

#this is rambling #but ive been thinking about it #i dont know #it just kind of bugs me when people focus so much on blood and ignore the whole point #supernatural #spn #dean winchester #ben braeden #dean and ben #family

[sophieseals]

I like that the fist bump Gordy tries to do with Jupe is left ambiguous.

As in the fists never touch because Gordy is shot, and I believe paired with the sparing of Jupes life THIS is why he believes that he has a ‘Special Connection’ with animals and believes he has an understanding with Jean Jacket.

Fist Bumps and other hand signals like Thumbs Up (that is referenced by Jupe in the film) is something as humans we see as a sign of positive connection of friendship and of understanding however to Gordy this is a symbol of a good job at the action/ trick he has just performed and symbol of probably receiving a reward/ reassurance, the same way when dolphins and seals are trained fish is used as a reward after the animal performs a trick correctly.

After Gordys attack he goes to Jupe for a fist bump however we are left wondering if the fist bump had been successful would this have deterred Gordy and he would’ve seen this as a job well done and left, or if he would’ve attacked Jupe as confirmation that there was a human under the table. However as this doesn’t happen and Gordy gets shot we are left wondering if Gordy would have killed him whereas Jupe sees this as a confirmation that if he had first bumped Gordy, Gordy would have let him live regardless and the act of the first bump was a recognition that Gordy was Jupes ‘friend’. Jupe never wonders if Gordy was looking into confirmation that Jupe was under the table and would have killed him. Nor does he recognise that Gordy might’ve done this as promise of a reward and not out of ‘friendship’.

In addition if Jupe had withheld the first bump and Gordy had not been shot would Gordy have left Jupe? Or due to this withholding of a promised reward would Gordy be upset thinking he had done a bad job and gone after Jupe regardless?

#this is rambling #but #it might make sense to a few people #nope #nope movie #nope 2022 #nope spoilers #nope jordan peele #ricky jupe #gordy

[dapperenby13]

Btw the secretly injured trope is always a winner. I love seeing that shit. Like yes, the character is so scared that their pain will be an inconvenience to others that they’ll risk worse injury rather than submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known. But the trick is, that the other characters care, they care so much. They’ll wrap them up and keep them safe, because it doesn’t matter if it’s an inconvenience. It’s more important that whatever else they were doing. And I just think that’s beautiful

#this is rambling #full disclosure #I haven’t slept well in like a week #v says things #tropes #fic tropes #secretly injured

[schrodingers-neurodivergent]

I see a lot of focus on Jupe's role in NOPE, and while I believe that to be completely understandable and deserved considering the impact him and his actions have to the story, I think there's a lot of people overlooking the tragedy of Mary Jo Elliot's character. I mentioned her briefly in a separate post of mine on the meaning of the upturned shoe, but I thought I'd expand a bit more on it to settle the nest of brainworms that have gathered in my head.

MJE, to me, has such a tragedy about her compared to her fellow child star, Jupe. The Gordy's Home incident was undoubtedly traumatic to both actors, and I don't want to try minimise or ignore the immensely painful past of Jupe because I do believe he was victimised heavily, by his exploitative child star career, by the Gordy's Home incident, and also the huge spectacle following Gordy's Home. However, when I think about MJE, I really do believe she plays a small, yet vital part in NOPE.

MJE was a young girl when Gordy attacked her following the unexpected pop of a balloon on the set. We witness a very concealed verson of the incident, as it is shown through the perspective of young Jupe underneath the table, but the sounds of the incident don't leave much uncertain as to the viciousness of the attack. We hear flesh ripping, yells, all the while her body is half concealed by the furniture of the set.

I think it's interesting how we're shown MJE. We are shown her child star face through sitcom clips prior to the incident and the t-shirt she wears at the Jupiter's Claim. I think the fact her child self is not ever truly separated from pain and trauma tells us a lot about how her and Jupe have responded to the events of that day. Both of them have been turned into a spectacle and rely on their past to get by.

The only time we see MJE's face, is the glimpse we get when she looks up at Jean Jacket. We see her face bearing the marks of her past, as she stares up at what would be her end.

It feels utterly heartbreaking to me that she had went through so much, only for her to end up digested slowly in Jean Jacket's flesh cylinder overnight, in the sticky and claustrophobic space surrounded by everyone else who went to Jupiter's Claim.

And it makes me think about just how much Jupe was reliant on spectacle. He knew MJE was coming out as he had introduced her, perhaps he had even invited her to it. I don't think it's too far of a stretch to say they likely became quite close after the Gordy's Home incident, and developed a trust of sorts.

Jupe, being aware of this colossal creature that feasts on things, and using it to bring in profit while endangering the life of Mary Jo Elliot, and so many others, shows us just how far he was willing to go for the show. for the spectacle. for the drama of it all.

I think MJE plays a vital role in showing the full extent that some people will go to just for the spectacle. While the motorbike influencer and Antlers do also help in demonstrating this aspect, the significance of MJE, wearing her child face, being swallowed by Jean Jacket almost feels like, to me, that Jupe has fed her past to it aswell.

He never let things be, he never sought out a different approach to success or appreciation, he has always relied on the hurt and pain of himself and those around him to get by. Whether it be his memorabilia room, OJ jr's horses, or anything else, they all, ultimately, end up being used for spectacle. And Mary Jo Elliot is all of this personified.

#nope movie spoilers #nope 2022 #nope #nope jordan peele #Jupe #Mary Jo Elliot #this is rambling #I have a lot of thoughts but no idea if they make coherent sense #I spent so long procrastinating actually writing up my thoughts somewhere #and honestly it has been a while since ive seen it so I may have missed small details #but just the whole thing about MJE HURTS me

[sorceroussundriesonfire]

From Jahira’s point of view she’s stuck in the Shadowlands no way out with a bunch of civilians and then suddenly a group of adventurers causally come strolling in and the leader immediately gives you a feeling of dread you don’t recognize. You have to trust them and thankfully they do save the day and maybe your old woman senses are wrong (they’re almost never wrong but it’s fine) hell they even heal the Shadowcurse now we just have to beat Thorne.

And my firm head cannon is that she realized what the feeling in the pit of her stomach was when she sees the Durge fight. Immediately she knows and sees a familiar story. The nightmares are a confirmation but also a comfort. They’re fighting, it’s all happening again and she’s tired but can’t help herself and promises to help.

#I’m so normal about the Durge and Jahira relationship #this is rambling #but I stand by it #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 #jahira #bg3 jaheira #bg3 durge

[hazardous-waste-containment]

Thoughts on the place of Count Gobineu in particular and the French Legitimists in general in the history of fascism? Espescially interested in those deeply reactionary forces that were a pure defense of pre-modernity and the way that they relate to such a modern phenomenon as Fascism.

I don’t know that I would call them a ‘pure defense of pre-modernity’ since I’ve increasingly realized, as Roger Griffin puts it,

In a sense, then, every ideological and spiritual product of a society affected by modernisation cannot help but be a manifestation of modernity: they are not to be seen as ‘pro-’ or ‘anti-modern’, but as resulting from the interaction of specific forces of modernity with specific forms of traditional society within a unique and dynamically changing configuration of historical forces.

And especially Gobineau’s biological racism was hardly pre-modern. I get what you’re saying though, that his unabashed aristocratic elitism and royalism differs from fascism fundamentally; so does his pessimism about racial decline of course. In that sense he was vaguely similar to Spengler, both diagnosing syndromes of decadence in society that they thought were inexorable and could be at most managed or held off temporarily, for their intellectual descendants to go “Actually, through [eugenics, revolution, etc] all things are possible.” Gobineau’s monarchism and fusion of racial and class elitism could maybe be compared to proto- or quasi-fascists like List, Lanz von Liebenfels, and Evola, but again the pessimism thing: the latter three were all millenarian reactionary-revolutionaries aspiring to a new utopian world order.

Action française would I guess be the closest thing to a direct link between legitimist thought and the origins of fascism (well and there was a Carlist workers’ union in Spain that developed a fascist tendency) even though AF wasn’t formally legitimist. The maurrasistes are sometimes considered anti-modern reactionaries, and I sometimes present them that way to people because it’s simpler, but they especially drive home Griffin’s point and Stanley Payne has suggested the word ‘reactionary’ doesn’t really fit Action française because of the amount of modern social and political thought they inevitably incorporated, above all the ultra-nationalism which Maurras anachronistically projected back onto the ancien régime. In turn AF thought was partially anticipated by Louis de Bonald, who was ahead of his time but reflective of the fact that even shortly after the Revolution, Counter-Revolutionary thinkers had realized that the old order in the strictest sense was permanently lost.

In the injection of an updated corporatism and organic nationalism or proto-nationalism into traditionalist monarchism, these types remind me of Ivan Ilyin who was in much the same position, like de Bonald an aristocrat grappling with the destruction of the traditional social order by a revolution, in the world of the twentieth century rather than the nineteenth. Stephen Shenfield has a short discussion of Ilyin in Russian Fascism that I mostly like (note that Shenfield’s concept of modernity is basically a value judgment and by “premodern values” he just means illiberal ones):

Ilyin described fascism as “a complex and multi-sided phenomenon [that] arose as a healthy and necessary reaction to bolshevism, as a concentration of state-preserving forces on the right.” Other praiseworthy features of fascism were its patriotic feeling and its search for just social reforms. However, fascism was marred by six “deep and serious errors”—namely hostility to Christianity and to religion in general; totalitarianism; one-party monopoly, leading to corruption and demoralization; nationalist extremism, belligerent chauvinism, and a mania for national grandeur; a tendency toward state socialism; and “idolatrous caesarism, with its demogogy, slavishness, and despotism”.

The first of Ilyin’s objections does not serve to separate him from fascism in the generic sense, which, as was demonstrated in the last chapter, is compatible with a variety of religious orientations. Nevertheless, a person who rejects totalitarianism, chauvinism, and caesarism can hardly be considered a fascist. We might also note his reference to the traditionalist conservative regimes of Franco in Spain and Salazar in Portugal as positive alternatives to “fascism”. Ilyin sensed that he shared many of his premodern values with the fascists—hence his perception of them as basically well-intentioned people who had made unfortunate “errors”—but he could not bring himself to accept the new order.

#this is rambling #reading #griffin #shenfield

[existingonthisplane]

So you know how there’s the whole thing with

Mike is the Moon bf and Will is the sun bf

I agree with this but l i s t e n

I think if you were to ask them, Mike would be the only one to agree

Will would definitely call Mike the Sun because they see each other as their light and maybe feeling like they can only reflect that light thus calling themselves the moon

#byler #this is rambling #but it’s so real to me #I love space references in ships okay it’s good #this has probably been talked about

[elizabeths-dumbassery]

IDW Sonic 58 spoilers!!

I loved this issue, I especially enjoyed the portrayal of Whisper and Tangles relationship.

Don't go past this line if you don't want spoilers, I suggest reading the issue yourself!

___________________________________________

Whisper dealing with her trauma this episode and finally starting to heal???? Right in the damn feels holy shit.

I was a bit worried on how they used Tangle out of character last issue and how it would affect Whisper and Tangles friendship. I dont want them to be forced to fight to continue the plot, that's just really dumb and both characters deserve better than that.

With that I was super happy with how the problem Whisper had with the new team being named Diamond Cutters wasn't left to stay quiet and the duo actually communicated?

Once Tangle realizes "Oh no, I messed up" we see her physically cover her mouth and process what she did, only to break down crying. She meant well and Whisper sees that, they both know the pressure they both put on their own shoulders.

I see people saying that Whisper forgave Tangle way too easily but I think that's why Whisper didn't mention her problem with it earlier on. Whisper processed, thought about it and when they finally got to have a breather to talk as a group she brought it up knowing that she already had her clarity over it.

Things people don't mention are Whisper has come a huge way since when we first saw her, this issue marks the first we ever see her talk so much in the main comics. And that just shows how she's emotionally grown. When we first saw her she wouldn't bring up what was bothering her. She wouldn't know how to bond with others like we have seen her start to bond with Lanolin and Tangle.

Like this is just? So healthy?? They talk it out, she asks them to be patient and they say likewise what has been worrying them in this trip.

All three of them have been through shit, I may write about Tangle and Whispers mentality because I absolutely adore IDWs ways of showing different kinds of trauma and minor insecurities through its characters. Especially through the comic original cast.

Even Sonic and the main cast have started to show some minor character growth! Underline the word minor but we are getting there.

#this is rambling #im typing while waiting to leave for school #old post #drafts

[mightntbethebest]

Okay hear me out

Marie and Forrest are the whole big Hero and Villain thing right [Non romantic]

This song kinda feels like Marie comparing Her and Forrest to each other(?)

[Even though I have no idea how it would make sense to the whole story and not just the route I played]

#killer frequency #kfam #the whistling man #marie campbell #forrest nash #this is rambling #and it makes no sense whatsoever #but it also does ?? #Spotify

[acidicpenumbra]

i hate dirkjake and also like other pairings but whatever

#im not gonna tag them directly bc obviouslt dick move but i hate dirkuu and dirkjake and vrisrezi and davekat and a lot of things #andrew hussie cannot write very good relationships and i am so tired of homestuck being like oh well vrisrezi is THE lesbian icon ship #rosemary is right there and they aren't actually terribke for each other... i cant like shit on everything bc at the end of the day #its just homestuck pairings and although theyre awful theyre not like actually harmful #i guess #i mean i kinda wish some ppl would stop seeing some pf these as healthy bc i know ppl who have seen oh yeah x pairig is healthy so my #relationship thats like this pairing is totally fine no it is not i promise #this is rambling #in tags #anyways i really hate dirkjake mostly maybe ill talk about other things but as someone with a huge interest in shipping #it sucks that almost all the major homestuck ones are garbage and like even some fandom ones #maybe these characters didnt work out for a reason bro... #‟youre taking this too seriously‟ #i am a hater #i will keep being a hater #it is my favorite thing ever #anyways can we stop romanticizing vrisrezi its not like super nuanced vriska blinded twrezi and terezi fucking killed her #im jjst saying its not ideal its not healthy and its not like. idk. its something i cant care about at all

[oh-surprise-its-me]

omg guys what about Sladick with cute animals that Slade loves and Dick has allergies to or Sladick having loving but very kinky sex in a club bathroom (shout out to those guys next to me in that club) or Sladick cuddly on a roof because Dick is tired and Slade had a job to do and maybe just this once Dick let’s him do his job because the dude he’s shooting is a pedo and mmm Slade’s back is a nice place for a nap.

#dick grayson #slade wilson #deathstroke #nightwing #sladick #dc fluff #I was high #those dudes were going AT it #fluff #kinda smutty #this is rambling #like all my works if this inspires you to nuts with it #morally grey Dick Grayson #more pink then gray but whatever #I love seedy nightclubs #my ao3 is recycleyourself go party over there if you wanna #mac writes dc

[misscrazyfangirl321]

Obsessed with scenes where a character tests another character to see if they're really a certain way (blind, deaf, super-powered, etc.), and are convinced because "You can't fake that reaction."

Because the character is almost certainly NOT that way, and the actor is in fact faking the reaction.

Like a character holding a gun on someone to test whether or not they're really blind, and taking the character not reacting as definitive proof that they're really blind.

Because there's a 99% chance that actor is not, in fact, really blind, and is in fact pretending.

#i speak #fandom life #this is rambling #but it's a Thing

[revoltinglesbians]

Just a reminder that an unreality warning does not need to be applied to all Goncharov posts. If you’re talking about how it’s so funny that tumblr made up a movie that does not need a warning. If you are for example citing specific (made up) scenes or showing photos of a vhs that does need a warning. It’s more than just lying it’s convincing someone that facts they know are true, are not which can cause issues for people who deal with anxiety or psychosis.

#this is rambling #post.me #goncharov #reminder

[ghost-of-you]

Okay I'm gonna share some thoughts but under the cut 'cause this one is just crazy.

Okay so, the chance of a 5sos5 documentary became real the second they posted this one video back in March 2021 after they left modest, and I always had many thoughts about that because of how this document could've been delivered to us, because they pay Ryan to record and edit their stuff but they don't have a contract (at least not to my knowledge) with someone who could publish this in like a movie format (think Ms Americana or that Shawn Mendes one on netflix cause i don't think they would do a physical dvd like they did with the first 5sos doc) but I was thinking about something along the lines of the Shawn Mendes one, that you have the movie following him on tour and you have separate thing with a concert. My first theory involved just any show from the tmh tour, but then they announced the feeling of falling upwards, and naturally the idea of a documentary with the journey of making 5sos5 ending with a show they put on to showcase 5sos5 makes a lot of sense, but nothing about using the ono show was mentioned since it happened so honestly it may not be the plan since it was livestreamed, so I went back to just a tmh concert. Using one of the Sydney shows at the Opera House makes a lot of sense if they want to use the video footage too, 'cause it's a beautiful venue, it's their hometown, ending a 5sos5 documentary back where it all started it would be poetic even, but then they released the part one on youtube. With no warning, no explanations, no promises of more besides the fact that it's titled part one. But also you can't just have a concert and drop it as a live album with little to no time to work on it. I mean, you can but it's not ideal, and the show is happening this weekend and like it or not the time for a "making of 5sos5" documentary to be relevant for marketing purposes is running out, 'cause the industry is moving really fast and.

Then I thought they were gonna drop part 2 of the doc on the bands anniversary, but that didn't happen, so now we're back to no man's land, because since part one was played for fans on the ono stream, and that was "leaked" (you know we screenrecorded it and it's out there), they could've just decided to put that out there while still planning on releasing a full length doc in another format just because it was already out. But I'm also back to guessing they are using a tmh date, that is no longer random, because BMG is taking down videos from the Paris show for copyright content the same way some videos from myt London (aka the mytt album concert) get taken down periodically. And why would they take down fan recordings of one specific date if there were no plans about using the recordings from that date? But that circles back to the question of how would that be released. Because I don't think they would just put a full concert on youtube but at the same time I wouldn't put it past them to just like, upload it in parts.

But there's also the chance that this documentary ends up like the myt tour diaries, gathering dust in some hard drive, because the time past and the moment is gone and they just moved on. So like, I need them to give us more information.

#this is just a very long ''i wish i would stop feeling like im dealing with toddlers'' as in ''please use your words'' #i just have thoughts #i'm rambling #like really #this is rambling #sorry any grammar mistakes i don't feel like reading it back kakaaokaapkaoa