Tumgik
#this is leaving out everything that happened WITH randy in the middle im just talking about themes here
citricjoy · 26 days
Text
the passenger (2023) is such a crazy watch from a place of passive suicidal ideation because benson feels so firmly in that camp at the beginning especially on a second watch, like suicidality feels like such a driving force for him. from the moment he has randy in the car all i can see is someone who has had idle fantasies for so long about ending his own life finally seeing the end coming near and he’s fucking ecstatic. like yes! i’m finally gonna be done with this shit, AND i got to help someone on the way out! he’s found this purpose in ‘helping’ randy and he comes at it so manically because he’s just gotta get this shit done and then he can fuck off into a pine box and stop dragging out his wasted life!… but then sheppard happens. and ms. beard happens. and the cops show up. and that fantasy is ripped away, and all benson can do is laugh at what a fucking idiot he was, thinking he’d grow up to be fucking anything at all.
146 notes · View notes
the--blackdahlia · 5 years
Text
Piranhas (Tommy x Nikki)
Title: Piranhas
Prompt: #50 I need you to help me
Pairing: Tommy Lee x Nikki Sixx
Requested by: N/A
Summary: It's been a year since Tommy left Motley Crue.
Warnings: Some language
Check out my Patreon for more!!
It had been the longest time of Nikki’s life. Tommy had walked out on the band in 1999, after too many fights with Vince, too much going on his life that he was struggling to control. He had told Nikki it would be a month, just to find himself and get his head straight.
That had been over a year ago.
They had released New Tattoo with a new drummer in the time Tommy had been gone. As much as Nikki liked Randy, he wasn’t his Tommy. It hurt to look back at the drums and see someone else back there. Randy got sick and they got someone else but it didn’t matter. It still wasn’t Tommy.
“Come on Sixx. Let’s get a move on!” Vince called to Nikki from outside his dressing room. “We got a show to do!”
“Coming!” Nikki yelled back. He looked at himself in the mirror before nodding to himself and heading out.
****
“I can’t believe you’re paying to see your own band,” One of Tommy’s friends had told him when he went to pick up his tickets the morning before. And now, he was standing in line to get into the arena. He didn’t want Vince, Nikki, or Mick to know he was there. It wasn’t his band anymore and he knew they’d just think he was pathetic for even showing up.
He sat towards the middle, a perfect shot to see the stage but not close enough that one of the guys might be able to make out his face. Tommy watched the band come out and play. There was a chick at the drumset, and she was really good. She smiled a lot at Nikki and Nikki flirted back. It made Tommy’s heart drop. He closed his eyes and looked down at the pass he had bought. He thought about sneaking backstage and trying to talk to Nikki, but then he remembered what he had seen in the tabloids and he shook his head.
Nikki didn’t want to see him, and obviously, Motley Crue didn’t need him.
****
They did an encore, the crowd eating it up. Nikki noticed a few signs out in the crowd that mirrored what they said a few years back when Corabi was standing up front instead of Vince.
Bring Back Tommy
‘I wish I could,’ Nikki thought to himself. He would do anything to have Tommy back with the band again. But Nikki knew that Tommy wasn’t coming back anytime soon.
“Good night Los Angeles!” Vince called out, signaling the end of the show. Nikki couldn’t get backstage fast enough. He knew there would be some autographs to sign and pictures to take. He just wasn’t in the mood for it. Something felt a lot different with this concert, but he wasn’t sure what it was.
He went to his dressing room and shut the door, hoping everyone would take it as a sign to leave him alone. He sat in a folding chair in front of the lit up mirror, staring at himself. He kept thinking about everything. The past forty years of his life. The roller coaster of it all and the one constant he had had in his life since ‘81, and it didn’t come in a bottle or a needle.
Tommy had been with him through a lot. They fought, they screamed, they made up, but most importantly, they did love each other. At least, Nikki loved Tommy.
“Fuck!” Nikki screamed out suddenly, grabbing the makeup bag full of his stage makeup and chucking it across the room, followed by the chair he had been sitting in and other various items. Things cracked and broke, followed by Nikki slamming his hand into the wall before sliding down the very wall he had just attacked. He had his head down, arms resting on his knees.
That’s when he heard the soft tapping on the dressing room door.
****
Tommy had been pacing back and forth for what felt like an hour, trying to figure out if he should go to Nikki’s dressing room or not. He finally made his mind up. He’d go by, say hi, tell him how good the show was, and leave. He took a deep breath and made his way to the dressing rooms. He saw the one that was Nikki’s and raised his hand to knock when he heard what sounded like a riot going on inside. It all stopped suddenly and Tommy got a little worried.
Closing his eyes, he knocked on the door. A minute went by with no response, so Tommy turned to leave.
The door opened then, revealing a disheveled and obviously upset Nikki.
“T-Tommy?” Nikki asked. Tommy turned to look at him and offered a small smile.
“Hey Nik,” Tommy told him. “Long time no see.” Tommy didn’t even have time to react before Nikki was grabbing him by the arm and pulling him into the dressing room. Tommy thought Nikki was pulling him in there to beat the crap out of him, which he honestly deserved.
But instead, Nikki just wrapped his arms tightly around Tommy, holding him close.
“Tommy…” He whispered against Tommy as he held on to him. He was in his boots, Tommy was in tennis shoes, so for the first time in a long time, Nikki was a little taller than Tommy. He pulled back after a bit to look at him. “What happened to a month or two? It’s been a year and your lawyer and…”
“The...the tabloids,” Tommy told him. “I...you told them that Motley Crue was stronger now without me causing issues. That you were glad that you could go out on stage and not have to worry about me starting a riot or anything like that…” Nikki’s eyes were wide.
“I never said that!” He breathed. “I promise I would never say that about you!”
“I should’ve known better, but I…” He looked down. “After everything I’ve been through the past couple years, it’s kinda hard to believe.” Nikki wrapped his arms around Tommy again, holding him close.
“I love you T-bone. I would never say that about you,” Nikki whispered. He felt the shaking in Tommy then as the tears started to come.
“You guys are so good without me,” Tommy told him. “I watched the concert. That chick is pretty good and you seem to like her a lot…”
“She’s...I want her gone,” Nikki sighed. “Because with her comes Courtney Love and I can’t stand her. I can’t run this band with her,” He pulled back again so he could look at Tommy. “I need you to help me.”
“You still want me around?” Tommy asked. Nikki cupped his face.
“Everyday.” He told him before kissing him, trying to convey all the need into the kiss. Tommy closed his eyes and grabbed onto Nikki, not wanting to lose the contact. Nikki led the younger man over towards the couch, pulling him as close as he could so he could kiss him deeper.
They finally broke apart when the need for air became too much.
“Don’t listen to those fuckin piranhas,” Nikki told Tommy, holding on to him. “You should know how they are.”
“I know,” Tommy nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“I’ll forgive you if you come back to us. To me.” Nikki told him. Tommy couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face.
“Of course,” Tommy told him, leaning in to kiss him again.
Finally, after what felt like a year of being empty, Nikki felt whole again.
Forever Tags:  @anathewierdo @dekahg @marvel-af-imagines @feelmyroarrrr @nanie5 @imboredsueme @gemini0410 @aiaranradnay @babypink224221 @mogarukes @xxwarhawk @sandlee44 @shatteredabby @caswinchester2000 @supernaturalwincestsblog @lauravic @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @teller258316  @horrorpxnk
Motley Crue Tags:  @primal-screamer @waywardprincess666 @twistnet @saint-of-los-angeles @vader-kai @motleyfuckingcruee @sharon6713 @kawennote09 @2dead2function @nikkisixxwiththebass @flamencodiva @iamtiber-andtiberismusic @jayprettymuchomw @charlyallise @you-know-im-a-dreamer @livingdeadharley  @motleycrying​  @nikki-sixxtynine @jjjjjjjoshdun @just-a-normal-fangirl18
33 notes · View notes
llamameangelazul · 4 years
Text
1:33 A.M.
My emotions are catching up to me and i’m exploding in tears. I haven’t cried this much for a while now... it’s like everything decided to crash into me today. All the resentment, dissapointment, sadness, rage, happiness....  I want to freeze time,  want to go back in time and relive moments with the people I loved the most. I am filled with nostalgia. Is it real or are they memories I have created? Was it really any better before or I just like to remember it to be that way? There’s just so much that I cannot put into words. I have to have a purpose to still be here. I hope I do. Life is confusing, I am confused 24/7. I am constantly stressed and overwhelmed in this house. I cannot leave yet unfortunately... my siblings are leeches. They will be the end of my parents. My parent’s will most likely not see my children, if I ever decide to have a child.Or perahps they will but not enjoy them as my other siblings children do. They pressure me and tell me to just do it, im 21, will be turing 22 this year. I do not need a child. No, i will not get married this year or next year either... I don’t know, will my papa ever see me getting married? The man I love with my whole heart. My poor mama, I feel for her now. I get why she was so hard on me. I don’t need them as much as my other siblings do. It’s something I had to overcome slowly, it’s not that they love me any less. it’s just that they know I am stronger than they are. I’ve done everything on my own... when I needed my family the most, my mama especially--- where was she? Not with me. She was at home taking care of my sister’s kids while I tried  to burn my skin off in the shower, punching the walls, sobbing. I will never understand how cruel people are. How some people are willing to defend or not speak up for others when they’re in trouble. Integrity. I am disgusted, and sickened by them. Being a cna, was the best and worst experience of my life. I took care of people in their most vulnerable moments. Some had lovely families who cared for them wholeheartedly while others it was almost like a chore/obligation to be there.... while others were all alone. Even the most difficult patients (Randy) who’d throw shit at me and everyone.... was hard to love had a soft spot. A senior nursing assistant who knew him since the day he stepped into the nursing home said he had a daugther and would visit him at first but decided to end all contact with him for whatever reason, but i’m sure she did it for a good reason.... but what i’m trying to say is.... everyone has seen some terrible things or lived through it or live in regret like how he lives now and he’s so angry all the time, it’s sad. I hope he is at peace one day. I worked night shifts, doubles. Worked my ass off.... for what? I cannot be a nurse. I cannot even step into a nursing home without hyperventilating. I wanted to become a nurse so badly, now that it’s not within my reach.....I feel useless. But... I’m trying to change career paths now and become a teacher or perhaps a counselor would be more suitable, I’d enjoy that more. I used to dream about becoming a travel nurse. Travel all of California, the states. But then I felt like a fucking joke when the DON at the nursing home told me, “You will become a nurse, this is his livelihood.” This haunts me. I dont give one fuck. He is a predator. He preyed on me when I was at my weakest. This was my third double shift... go in at 10pm leave at 2:30 sleep 4-5 hours and do it again. I was supposed to have a week off after this. We were short on people too. The people that worked there didn’t really care about these people. PSA: IF YOU LACK COMPASSION, HEALTHCARE ISN’T THE PLACE FOR YOU. IT WOULD PISS ME THE FUCK OFF HEARING PEOPLE COME IN THE MORNING COMPLAINING ABOUT their 7-10 residents where I would take care of 20+ residents, dress them for the morning and here I was working a double shift. Not the first time I’ve done it but that week I overdid it and worked those 3 days back to back.... He was never disrespectful towards anyone. He kept to himself and offered help to anyone who needed it. He was everyones “brother” there. He was a middle aged Latino man, only Latino than me and my coworker who i once though to be my “work mom”. He needed help  giving a bed bath which usually takes two people to those who are aggressive... While giving a bed bath he started small talk saying how my parents should be proud of how hardworking I am then went on how tired I looked and how I should rest on the bed like the other cna’s do and I was like no, I don’t do that , that’s unprofessional and I would never. Then he said my shoe lace was untied and i my back was turned to the bed behind so i bent over and he was BIG and pushed me and his weight was crushing me and he swirled his tongue down my throat and i bit him and tried pushing him off but i was so fucking weak and tired, I couldn’t do it, until I was able to fucking kick him in the nuts and i tried running through the bathroom but he locked it and then I pushed him and ran out of the room, he yelled in spanish “Don’t be scared, Don’t say anything, and I just ran to the end of the hall where there I saw my “work mom” and my other coworker and I just couldn’t speak but they jokingly said if i saw a ghost or something because i was pale. I threw up, when i managed to get some words out of mouth, they were in disbelief about what happened. They told the charge nurse, she said she was going to do “her best” and it was “okay” bitch, tf it is not. anyways.... my phone died but i was able to use my coworkers and i called my man and he immediatley made his way to my job. I KID YOU NOT... THIS MOTHERFUCKER WAS STILL ON THE FLOOR. WHEN THE CHARGE NURSE WAS NOTIFIED, SHE SHOULD HAVE ESCORTED HIS ASS OUT IMMEDIATLEY. RIGHT????? RIGHT. anyways He comes 20 mins later and asks me who it was and i pointed to the coward in the purple scrubs. He pushed him out of the facility and asked him “what did you do to her? What did you do to my girlfriiend” to which he replies “I WaS JuSt PlaYinG with HeR.” WHO TF PLAYS WITH A 21 year old like that??? BULLLSHIT. EVERYONE HEARD. NO ONE SAID A THING when it came down to give my report. they all swore to back me up and they didn’t. the police officer got teary eyed as he saw me and said sadly, due to them not cooperating, they couldn’t make a case. Nothing happened. all i could do is get a restraining order. that’s it.... I still have not recovered from that. The disilusionment. The people I trusted. But then again, this isn’t the first time people let me down like that. Just the first time something major happened and it’s hard for me to let go of this. I am in pain. I am hurt. I do not want to hurt anymore. I’m a good fucking person. I used to be passionate about a lot of things and slowly started losing interest in them but this year I will try my best to do those things again. I will go on roadtrips again, i will go to at least one concert, I will read again, I will sing again, I will glue my pieces back together. Nobody got you like you got you. The only two people who was there for me in those moments was my dearest best friend Yulissa and my man, Donavon. I will forever be grateful for having them.  Right now, I need to focus on school, get help when needed, don’t hesitate asking for help, and not give as many fucks as I do. I need to stop giving a fuck but lmao it’s so HARD. I CARE ABOUT EVERYTHING TOO MUCH. but the moment i feel like it is not being reciprocated, I SHUT DOWN. I need to stop. I am so tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of feeling so much and nothing at all. I hate not knowing. But must embrace uncertainty. Help me, higher forces. Help me God, if you hear me. I’m sorry for losing faith. I don’t know if I could go back to church again but.... I guess I could try. Idk... Ok going to sleep. bye. 
2 notes · View notes
amaloaf · 7 years
Note
yes hello I would like a headcanon and tragic backstory for Fillmore pls
oh buddy, oh my dude
BACKSTORY:
Fillmore was a the child of a 15 year old Brazilian/white girl (Josie) and a 27 year old man (Phillip Sr) 
Fillmore was originally Philip Jr but his mother changed that when he was about 5 
his father is part Native American, but not much else is know about him and his past
his parents were married because his father was rich and his mother was a desperate orphan 
when Fillmore was three his father left in the middle of the night without a word, and they later had to find out it was because he had been lying about his wealth and everything they owned was getting repossessed 
after that debacle he and his mother traveled on the road for a while before finding a cult like, traveling group of hippies who took them in mostly because Fillmore’s mother was so young 
the group was many things, but nudist and acid worshiping was the most prominent 
Fillmore’s mother was pregnant twice whilst living there
The first was with the cults main honcho/leader, the baby was stillborn due to the shit ton of drugs she was taking the whole time; the second was twins from a random cultist named Randy who took the twins and ran off, later they his hut and all three occupants dead from gunshot wounds (most likely from a dealing gone south) 
The cult was creepy, but the worst of it (besides telling pregnant women to take heavy drugs) was that it was law that when someone turns 16, they must move from the heated “childrens room” (where the pregnant people and children under 16 slept) and be moved to the “Pit” 
The Pit was an unheated hut just off to the side from the camp, and since the followers were mostly nudists, you can imagine how that looked
It was essentially a roof and some walls with the floor dug out, and it was filled with pillows and mattresses and stuff, and everyone just cuddled for warmth 
There were a few who wore clothes for heat/safety/comfort reasons but they were few and far between that it was almost unheard of
Fillmore was one of the few who didn’t participate in nudist shenanigans
Because his mom was banging the cult leader, Fillmore got some special treatment (got to wear clothes, didn’t have to go to weekly worships, wasn’t forced to do drugs) 
^Fillmore does, however, do regular cigarettes and blunts to dull his hatred for the place 
Despite his obvious dislike of the cult he still picks up the hippy, free love lifestyle and goes to marches and stuff even after he leaves them 
He was about 11 when he met Ramone (who was about 7 or so), whose parents had crossed the border and were living in the woods until it was safe to go and live with family 
Ramone was always curious of Fillmore’s living situation but Fillmore never let him find out 
Until one day, 
When they were like 19 and 16 Ramone followed Fillmore home and naturally he was found out and they were gonna “initiate him” (don’t ask but it’s hella illegal no matter what the age of the victim is) 
So Fillmore was like “oh i’ll initiate him don’t even worry about it guys” and he takes him into the woods and sets Ramone go with a “don’t worry about me I’ll talk to you tomorrow” 
Filly goes back and says the guy fought back and got away but it’s cool he was gross anyway and everyone buys it because they think Fillmore is one of his own 
So the next day he tells Ramone everything and Ramone spends the next year doing everything he can to get them out of those woods
Well surprise surprise people got suspicious and started asking where he was going so Fillmore had to lay low for a while but encouraged Ramone to get out while he could 
They lose contact for about a year, Ramone hitchhikes with a hot trucker for a while before finding RS
He opens a shop, and then travels up to find Fillmore
He finds him living with a man named Mickey and his husband Carlos
Fillmore had basically been floating around after running away from the cult, had some consensual sex for once, and was actually advocating for things he believed in fully, it was practically heaven 
While making plans to move to RS, Fillmore travels regularly between the two, living (and threewaying) with Ramone and his new gf Flo, and advocating for prides with Mickey and Carlos
On the last pride march, Fillmore lost his legs:
The first leg (right) went at a peace rally gone very wrong
So he’s lost a large chunk of his right ear in rally so he comes with friends
So it was a march in the afternoon and he’s just walking with a sign
On his left he’s got his childhood friend Mikey (a gay black man always looking for peaceful situations) and Mikey’s husband Carlos (short tempered, shot heighted, Mexican man), Carlos is holding a sign and mickey’s carrying a pack with water, weed (for him and Carlos later), and an extra shirt for everyone because they’re going st sweat through theirs before they’re even remotely done
Out of the blue someone charges Fillmore and brings him to the ground
They wrestle for a minute before Fillmore realizes the guys got a knife
The guy tries to stab him, but thanks to Mickey trilingual to get him off, he misses and gets him straight through the thigh, and he makes sure to pull out the big ass steak knife
So Fillmore’s bleeding and before anyone can get to him, one of the other jackasses (who’s there with knife guy) set off tear gas
(Among other types of gas to fuck w/ everyone)
Since it happened in such close proximity, Fillmore could be gotten to immediately like he needed
The wound was not only infected but it had been worsened by the stinging gases
But since he’s a fuckin hippy he didn’t go to a real doctor who would’ve just amputated that shit
Instead he goes to a natural dude who worked on him for like two days and eventually cleans and fixes everything (supposedly but Fillmore is never quite the same) but because of the severity of the wound almost all of the nerves died and in his right leg Fillmore can’t feel a thing below the upper mid thigh
In his other leg Fillmore was shot twice, at a later peace rally, in the knee and *still* did not get professional help for he is a fool
Fillmore moved to RS and never really looked back
He later finds out he has a half sister upstate at a reserve but does not try to contact her for a long ass time
From her he has three nephews, he meets them twice in his whole life but they come to his funeral regardless 
HEADCANNONS
His sister’s name is Alexandra 
His nephews names and ages are John (23), Harold (23), and Mikey (16) ((these are at the time of Fillmore’s death
Despite his chill personality, Fillmore is the cheekiest little shit 
He and Sarge have a small wedding reception because Fillmore doesn’t believe in marriage under the government
Fillmore is a top (i will fight everyone who says otherwise im looking at you cars discord) 
He’s very good with kids, especially babies (I have a fanbaby au but in otherwise cannons Fillmore never has kids)
That being said, Sarge adopts a baby after Fillmore dies to fill the void in his heart
Fillmore can’t cook because he never used a stove until he moved to RS
When he found out his mom died he cried but refused to go to her funeral
He has cheek piercings form his time in the cult, and he can never decide if he likes or despises them
His favorite color is green 
He used to threeway with Flomone but when he became paralyzed he stopped due to his self consciousness
Which was fine Red ended up filling in for him
He cannot sleep naked or in the dark because of his past (his partners must also be somewhat clothed) 
Before the organic fuel he would’ve loved to have been botanist 
Hes 6’4”
Fillmore doesn’t know his own legal last name and doesn’t know the context of his first 
Pst his last name is Patterson
It took a lot to get him off the smoking but he eventually did it
He loses touch with Mickey and Carlos, but after the events of the first movie they find him and he babysits for them
He has PTSD but is good at hiding it
Almost went to jail because he kicked a natzi’s teeth in (the guy had to wear dentures for the rest of his life) 
He got off because the cop called to the scene was black and he pretended that Fillmore got away 
His hair is v soft     
It’s Sarge who ultimately forces Fillmore to seek professional help on his legs 
He is very susceptible to heat and is always drinking water so he doesn’t get migraines 
i have,, so many hcs for my boy, but these are the mains
77 notes · View notes
spacegayapollo · 7 years
Text
some bad news and why I havent been on much lately
its not that i feel the undying need to justify my lack of posting but more so to just get it all out in one spot, publicly. Most the people this all involves has hard/long explainations to how they are related to me.
So just before my mom came back from her spring break vacation, i get a phone call from my step dad (he WAS married to my mom, they broke up but me and him are still very close and i view him more of a healthy father figure than my own dad) that my dog has stomach, liver and intestinal cancer and has around two weeks to live. Beyond heart broken i pack as much shit i can and head over there (he lives about half an hour away) to spend as much time with my beloved Mulligan as i can. Every night was filled with booze and scream-crying.
Cindy, my step dad Randy’s girlfriend who lives with him, confesses to me shes scared Randy is going to up and leave us to move to Squamish (a very small beautiful town a few hours away). Cindy runs a foodtruck in the city and her 7 year old daughter just started school in the city. plus her kids dad lives in the city, too. making it impossible for her to move with Randy.
Now having spent two full weeks living at Randys my mom is starting to get pissed off, and very very jealous. When i told my dad whats been going on (i havent lived at his house for almost two years now) he become even more angry and upset that i have hardly been spending time with him. He even tried to bribe with the fact that hes going to see my little sister (havent seen her for over 4 years) this weekend to talk with her mom and try and figure out if she can visit us, Then to make things even more stressful, Randy asks if im moving in forever. Not the first time hes asked me to move in with them either.
In my dogs honor and memory, i get the same tattoo he has in his ear on my wrist. This upsets whos relationship with me i can only truly capture by discribing it as an asexual relationship. Me and Efrat have an incredible bond but she is straight and im not super duper into sex with others anyways. She is convinced by our mutual friends that right before my dog dies is a perfect time to tell me she is hurt and upset about my tattoo. She also has the same tattoo as her dog. I get beyond upset. I start crying my eyes out and yell “do you think youre the only one with this kind of tattoo in the whole world? My fucking dog is about to die and you seriously thought right now is a great time to bring this up?” she replies by admitting “I dont know what i am trying to get out of this conversation” and before i think to do anything worst, i storm out of her house.
Its a very common thing for people who are close to me to completely avoid me when i am very angry. So Efrat doesnt talk to me for three days. In those three days i call her of a total 15 times. She sent me one text saying “cant talk right now.” desperate to get a hold of her i call one of our friends to see is she is with her. Our friend tells me she went to the Island to visit my friend Eden.
This is where i get livid.
Eden has been my bestfriend since we were 4. She sadly had to move away in highschool so i saw her a lot less. After highschool she moved to the Island. Her roommate is a very charming guy. Efrat went to visit them once with her at the time boyfriend (who was a trash human to me all through highschool) and she falls for Edens roommate.
To make this situation perfectly clear; Efrat left to go try and hope on some dick and get high while i was losing my mind over my dog dying and the fact that Randy might ditch. All of this she knew very damn well about. And she ignored me and did not say she was going to the Island.
The day comes where we have to put down Mulligan. I can say with a sure fact that i have not lived a worst day. This was 5 days ago and i still have yet to stop randomly breaking down on the bus, at work and waking in the middle of the night crying my fucking eyes out. I dont hear a single fucking word from Efrat. We held a bombfire by the beach that night in honor of my pup that all my friends came to. She told others she was coming, but as you can guess did not show up. Didnt even send a simple text saying “cant make it, sorry.”
Two days later my best friend says her girlfriend cheated on her. Their breakup quickly gets out of control and all i will say is that the cop are involved. So she and my other friend stay the night with me at Randys place. While feeling like i am losing all control of everything important to me i somehow manged to comfort her. I finally get a hold of Efrat.
In prior nights my friends had seriously brought to my attention how damaging my relationship really is with Efrat. They encourged me all through the week to stand up to her and basically say cut the shit.
Being the stupid piece of pathetic shit i am, i crumble at the sound of her voice. Eventually we get to the point where i ask “what now” she tells me she doesnt want to cut me out but maybe slowly ease me back into her life. Somehow in all of this i am now treating her like the victim.
We have been planning a trip to Isreal (where shes from) since the beginning of the year to go in may. I have the whole month booked off and tons of money saved up. But after all this i dont think i want to go. Thankfully the tickets arent bought so i still have a little bit of time to figure that out.
I also thought shit at work was FINALLY getting better having my Chef fired and my sous chef that i so dearly idolize come back. But now hes acting really really different towards me. We have what is pretty obvious the closest relationship anyone has at work. We get alone perfectly, and deeply respect eachother. He even confessed i was the real reason he came back to our kitchen. But we arent roughhousing like we normally do, he hardly asks me to come out for smokes with him and i cant remember the last time he told me one of his amazing stories from when he was younger. Its crushing me that i have no idea if i have done something wrong, or if hes jealous of how close im becoming with our new chef, or if its something so unrelated to me and hes just taking it out on me because he knows i can handle it. I look up to him so much and it was so fucking hard the first time he left that i couldnt handle losing him again. so this is driving me fucking insane.
It really feels like every aspect of my life is going up in flames and the only positive thing i have to look forward to is American Gods coming out soon. Theres hardly any good shit happening in my friends lives so i cant even be happy and proud of them. Theres close to no healthy distractions avalible to me.
1 note · View note
bigbrotherorre · 6 years
Text
Tumblr media
episode one: “TODAY WE LEARNED UNLESS BRYCE FEELS LIKE THE PRETTIEST GIRL AT THE DANCE EVERY MINUTE OF EVERY DAY, YOU'RE NOT DOING ENOUGH” - AUTUMN hoh: BRYCE evicted: ROXY - 13 to 3
Tumblr media
Okay WOOOO. So hey, I'm here doing a DR pre-season, because? I am cracked, a mess and SOOO EXCITED. Also, I looked up fun words, to find something to use as my confessional codeword, and "brouhaha" means "a noisy and overexcited reaction or response to something" WHICH IS SO APPROPRIATE. So woo, enjoy the brouhaha that is my excitement for this season. I just wanna say a couple of things: 1) Nicholas and Julia posting those clock gifs is gonna make my head fall off, thats so scary. If it means past season twists like someone said in the VL, I'm NERVY. RoseGold POVs are my biggest fear, and I know there was a season where prejury was all about them so YIKES. Calling it now, I'm gonna get sent home by a rosegold PoV. 2) Emily and Lukas was such an iconic F2, no matter whomst the F2 is in Orre, we will never match them 3) I wanna make some pre-season picks of who I expect to see cast, that way if they win, I can take total credit. I'm feeling like Raffy, Sammy and Aren might be in the cast, based on literally nothing khajsdfla. Raffy as a player terrifies me (I was also the person who brought him into this community so whew), but he gets CRACKED so whew! Aren is a scorpio so we stan. ANYWHO. I'm so excited for this season, its gonna be a HOOOOOT.
Tumblr media
Wooh so ready for the season to start!!!
Tumblr media
Hola, did you miss me? This is going to be me reflecting back on my Johto experience and trying to point out the mistakes I made, and how this game will be different. (this is before cast reveal) The first mistake I did in Johto was go against the premade. I was wary of Connor and Ari, and I thought painting the target on the returnee wouldnt only be easy but would be successful. And then I found out that I couldn't, and then Connor made friends with everybody on my team and fucked me over in the long run. The second mistake I did in Johto was being messy. A prime example was making pseudo "alliance" chats in order to sway the vote for people to keep me. This proved to be unsuccessful. I also had a mental breakdown like every night, so that just buried me more. The third mistake I did in Johto was throw the veto the week I was nominated. I felt like I couldve won it but I decided to study for my test. I didnt compete in the pov that i  shouldve won. SO now its time to do what I need to do for my redemption is quite simple. The last 3 ORGs ive played for BB i have made 2nd, 4th, and 3rd. And I learned quite a lot To negate my first mistake I'm not going to publicly target anbody. I will join the mob mentality to ensure my safety in early weeks. To negate my second mistake I am going to keep all my alliances as 1on1s. No alliances bigger than 3 people, and make sure to keep whatever information I have to myself. I will not snake out any information. To negate my third mistake is to try in all competitions. I will not throw anything I will not submit for anything unless I really cant. If I give it my all and still leave I can't beat myself up that bad. I'm nervous, but I'm ready. These freaks aren't gonna know what hit them.
Tumblr media
Okay one hour to premiere! The fact that I've made two DRs pre-season? thats wild. I am gonna give a go at predicting the cast, based on... borderline nothing, beyond paranoia: Veronica Constance Raffy Autumn Olivia Eddie Elmo Hals Sammy Aren Those are guesses I'm confident in, so I'm gonna stick to that! Lets see if I get anyone right ajlkdsfas
Tumblr media
Okay this isn't as bad as i thought except i'm a hot ass mess and messaged a picture into the house chat and i'm about to DIE
Tumblr media
wut in the FUCK is happening who the hell are these people theyre mental all of them. nice to see sammy and ali though i fucking love them but i am terrified of playing with ali i literally said to my host chat 3 hrs before the game started "please say its all newbies so im not playing with zeezo" AND SHES HERE WTF
Tumblr media
omg this FREAKING CAST IS WILD and i'm not gonna lie i'm a little worried that i might fight over half of them before the second week is finished...
not gonna lie seeing ashvika and roxy made me wanna kill myself but also i'm totally dying at the sight of ZEEZO AND BRYCE <3 also THIS COMP FREAKING SUCKS i need to find a group of friends asap so i don't flop. i'm gonna try to bring together bryce, zeezo, sammy, kat, and maybe ricky.... either gonna be lit or bite me in the ass
Tumblr media
Hi!!! Y'all casted way too many people but it's ok cause I really like everyone so far whew. Also I really will do my intro video I swear... first thing tomorrow lmao 
Tumblr media
THIS SHIT IS OVERWHELMING AF! SOOOO MANY FREAKIN PPL IM TALKIN TOO! I LIKE MOST OF THEM but som im like k. then like the call i do not want to join bc shit they cracked af! hopefully its not my undoing but i feel like my social is pretty strong atm.  #BBgameEVER
Tumblr media
i'm just happy that ashvika is willing to put our unnecessarily tragic rivalry behind us and play this game right this time around. hopefully we'll be able to keep up the "we hate each other" look in the house chat and such so we can actually WORK TOGETHER this time. obvi i love her, and i just want the backstabbing madness to stop. hopefully she really has put out past behind her bc i'm ready to move on. like we're both pretty, we need to stick together. also shook that i talked to blake the longest today in pms???? like???? okay??? bryce and i look like we're in this for the long haul, hopefully we aren't first and second boot!! bc i have a weird feeling imma be pre-jury for some reason dsgdf
Tumblr media
Night 1 Thots: Short term goal? to be as pathetic as possible. Probaly shouldn't have told alivia so soon that I was johnchen from bbtc world as after watching her intro vid. the could come back to bite me. Ryan seems like someone who I can ride on his coat tails for a while to get my foot in this game. So short term I need to be as pathetic as possible and hope this julia/bryce/sammy thing from house of shade starts to erupt.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
me at alivia
Really regretting making my code word tractor.. Not a fan.  But um me and alivia talked for like 4 hours and we're both legends. We have a cute google sheet bet ur all jealous. Her and ashvika are gonna pretend that they hate each other but they dont actually!! How fun. Hope i dont slip and blow their covers JKDFHKSJD. Everyone seems to know everyone which is scary. When i first saw Jela and Julia were cast I was scared that theyd target me b/c we had a rough introduction, but honestly theyre legends. Idk why i told jela i was missing a left toe.. but i did and now idk what to do about that whole thing. Maybe ill say i got drunk and dont remember saying that but it isnt true.. IDK WHAT TO DO. But um yaa happy to see zeezo here too but scared ppl will think we're a duo but honestly I dont think ppl will. Um I should do a cast first impression thing wooh! Ricky: Played my first tumblr game with him but dont really know him. Seemed nice but not much there Randy: seems like a legend. Poc king. Um talked to him and he wanted to know more about me but wouldnt talk about himself so!! Idk hope we talk more seems fun. Julia: Um called me out. Called me fat. Fun tho!! Seems untrustworthy but no bad blood. Roxy: Talked a bit, um shes fun?? Dont think she likes me Ashvika: how can one girl be so pretty??? Shes smart too. Like i want to hate how perfect she is. The type of girl to throw my game away for tho so I need to make sure I dont!! Alivia: how can one girl be so pretty??? Shes smart too. Like i want to hate how perfect she is. The type of girl to throw my game away for tho so I need to make sure I dont!!  Honestly want to go to the end with her tho so I just am gonna have to make sure I outplay her so we can be f2. Bryce: ugly cast pic. Is he even a poc??? Zeezo: THE LOML I LOVE HER SO MUCH. we both seem to be working together so im happy. Hope to work with her and have her carry me in comps. She will beat lachies record. #menareover Kat: wish she was jade ;(. JK!! Love her so much already. She is so nice and fun and like just seems like a great person. Honestly shes gonna mist me too. Jose: Epicmafia king. We never work together and always betray each other so... first chance for everything??? He seems fun tho love him hope he slays (less than me tho) Sammy: I literally love him hes so nice but i never pm him so thats awk KDSJFHDKSj hope that this game changes that!! Lynn: Legend. Loves hufflepuff, hates middle school. Like I think we click but i know her and blake are like super close so idk if shed ever be closer with me but i hope so b/c shes just like.. amazing!! Saxon: Talks a lot. About himself. Maybe itll change when i talk to him more. Likes super hero movies so wooh i guess. Jela: Thought she hated me but maybe now she doesnt. Shes really funny actually so hopefully we can be allies. Blake: know that hes super smart and good at the game but like he got rekt by queen tara so maybe ill do that to him. We talked but it was bland but guess ill push through it Dennis: So his name is annoying to spell so had to change that quick. Kind of hate him??? But hes fun!!! Didnt know carly rae jepsen made music still so like the stan in me wanted to hang up the call on him. BUT then he msged me asking for carly songs to listen to so like.. love him now. Cant believe he knew all the social game hed need with me was just pretending to like my queen Autumn: We talked about her past games and it was basically me fangirlling about her ENDING eddie LOL. think we can work together because we both like intersectional feminism John: Tried talking to him but didnt go anywhere. But im gonna make it work!! Ive decided we'll be close so wooh Olivia: took 2 hours to respond to me. like musicals tho. kept ignoring me tho. Alivia outsold. Ali: PURE KING. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. NO ONE IS BETTER. I COULD NEVER TURN AGAINST HIM. SO IM GONNA NEED OTHERS TO DO IT FOR ME. Love his dog even tho i misgendered her but it wont happen again. Think we'll be close. reptiles stick together!!
Tumblr media
WHEWIE. Okay I tried filming a video confessional, but my thoughts are such a mess, so I've decided writing it out will be considerably more coherent. YIKES SO. This season is already so wild, like this cast.... is gonna be a lot. I already can tell this season is going to have lots of fights and I don't know... how ready I am for that eeeek. But otherwise, my illiteracy means I don't understand the lottery twist so I love that. The returnee twist is fun though, like I feel like at the start of games, I go into panic mode, so having returnees I can go to about that, might make them feel like I'm an easy number and that they want to work with me? The people I knew before this season (like I'd actually spoken to): Bryce, Julia, Ashvika, Autumn & Olivia (I loosely knew Ricky, Blake & Sammy too) Within the game itself, the people I've had the best conversations with are Jose, Kat, Olivia, Ashvika & John. Olivia is like one of my favourite people in the community, and also a super good player so I'd love to work with her. I also think the fact that we are friends is something nobody in the cast should know (I think) so thats fun. Jose was such a big threat/player last season, and the vibe I get from him this time is he wants to tone that down? I'm not good at working with super cracked people, so him being slightly in the middle between UTR and cracked, will make him a super good person to work with I think. He is also the only person I've like...talked game with, even though its super limited, just that I wanna work with him. I'm a weirdo and watched all the Alola cast assessment stuff, and it sounds like Kat was playing really well, but got stuck in a funky position and couldn't recover, so I think she is gonna be a major threat this time and I'd love to work with her too woooo. Ashvika is a queen. Just plain and simple. She is so wholesome and nice, and already seems loosely on the same page as me, so thats iconic. John scares me ajkhsdfaslf. i think he is a total newbie, and I also think he is gonna get super cracked, and thats.... scary asdkjflas Dennis I just started talking to properly, he is in my timezone-ish, so that will be good for my sleeping pattern if he ever wins HoH or anything, but I worry he may struggle to make connections, so I'm not sure how much he can help me as an ally? The others I'm gonna try and do more rapid fire, since this confessional is already massive hjkasdflsaf: Alivia: Really really nice! We haven't spoken all that much, but she seems super friendly and she was really loyal in Unova, which makes me feel good about maybe working with her? Also Ali in the name? we love legends Ricky: Ricky is.... an interesting one ljaksdfla. He is a fun personality to have around, so I hope he sticks around. I'm not sure how invested he will be in any of these games, but I hope he gives it a good go woo Randy: Randy is gonna be such a threat already I can tell sahkjfdla Also he lowkey scares me, because whenever I would start pm'ing people on call yesterday, he would run to my pms asking why I wasnt pm'ing him which freaked me out sjkadflas. He seems fun though, and Dom stans him so we stan Julia (The Witch): An icon. A legend. An inspiration. Also terrifying skjahdfla. She mentioned all stars on call yesterday and my heart stopped, because I hated how I was in that game and dont want it talked about. I think she is gonna fight people and I don't especially want to get on her bad side! Roxy: Havent spoken to her much, it might be tricky talking to her, since we are both in weird timezones, we will see Bryce: A SWEETHEART. I love Bryce soo much. We worked together in a mini once, and it was super fun, so I'd love to work with him more. Zeezo: She seems super nice! I don't really know her, beyond that she is POVzo and probably a comp threat, but I think she will be fun. I know her and Bryce are friends so we will see where that goes jahdfka Sammy: Super nice! I loosely know him, but he seems like he will be good fun. I havent spoken to him much, so I hope he is gonna be active rip Lynn: I know of her from Moheli, and I know her and Blake were ride or dies which I am wary off.... Otherwise, she has been super quiet and I could see her.... potentially going early rip a queen Saxon: FUDGE. I havent spoken to him at all which is scary, since I feel like he probably already knows a lot of this cast, so if he wins RIP me I guess. Otherwise, he seems like a fun personality so wooo Jelaminah: Ummm. She is wild. Like really wild. I think I stan her, but I also am like.... concious that she is a lot, and its sometimes too much for me. I'm a bit annoyed by her tbh, but its just because she was like laughing at people's sexualities, as if she didnt believe them, and thats super ugly, but I couldn't exactly say anything to her. I think she is gonna be a super dominant personality, but whew we will see. Blake: I know he was a big player in Moheli, but I think he also rubbed people the wrong way.... We will see how he does, he seems iconic Autumn: A QUEEN. She is the most inactive so far which is worrying. I don't want her to go early. I could really see her going up this week, but maybe us two havent talked much, since she is just comfortable in our relationship? AND WHEW. Thats everything, if anyone read this, I love you for that. Otherwise, wooo I'm super nervous, I love my DR guests Owen and Emily and eek. We will see!
Tumblr media
ahhh okay so, I’m super excited about meeting new people....BUT...this cast is so huge and I’m so nervous. I like everyone for the most part and I’ve been trying to like talk to some people I’ve played with in the past to maybe smoothe over some bad relationships? The only person I’m still like nervous about is Julia because she kills the straight men and she hates Gemini’s. AND WHAT AM I? A STRAIGHT MALE GEMINI. I don’t think she’s very good at comps tho and I know she would go for Bryce before me. Anyway I seriously love Kat because she is so genuine and I just want to work with her. Also I want to work with alivia, roxy, zeezo, Olivia, randy, Jela, ricky, and autumn! There’s a few others as well but I’ll prob do like a video DR and talk about how I feel about everyone...who knows.
Tumblr media
Jose is officially my showmance and we stan asjdkfaslf. He is so nice and my favourite new person I've met in the cast anyway, and he won lots of comps last season so I'm ready for him to drag me to the end dlakjfasfa.
Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
bryce better not fucking put me up or i'm gonna SHOOT 
Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
wow so happy bryce is HoH!!!! perfect week one :$
Tumblr media
I am actually really happy that bryce won this HOH bc that means my ass hole is safe! PRaise BE. MY showmance that was made by ALIVIA has saved my ass and partly to me sorta already knowing him through tara! BITHCH TARA LOLOVE UR ASSSS. ANd shoot idk what these gays are lookin at but ppl be sayin they think im cute. maybe its like when i look at a potato or like  a waffle fry??  who knows ahaha but like some of these boys be good lookin like damn. hit me and my crocs up boys ;P
I am not a bottom. ya dumb bitch
Tumblr media
Bryce is nomming me for not playing in the hoh. Gurl gurl im not a newb who would buy up that excuse
Just say we arent alligned and im good with the other players and id belive you why would i buy that you, a player whose played a few games by now, would nom someone for abstainimg
Tumblr media
Okay SO. I filmed a video confessional earlier, but its already super out of date so its time for an update! I have spoken to lots of people that I hadn't talked to since premiere night which is good, Alivia & Kat are so nice! Jose is, as always a king, and I think (other than Olivia) he is my closest ally rn, so woo we stan. Otherwise, I spoke to Bryce, and it seems like (praise be), I'm not getting nominated, WOO! He says he is nominating Roxy/Autumn, with Julia getting the future shock thingie. Like I told him, the future shock is kind of like a curse and we know Julia loves a good curse, so its a good matchup aljdfkas. Otherwise, these nominations make sense. I LOVE Autumn, but she has been the quietest person in the cast, so I assume she is gonna go first rip. Roxy I have spoken to a fair bit, but I know she is in a funky timezone, which probably throws off her ability to be active. Bryce seemed like he was being pretty open with me, so I hope I'm not the backup plan if somebody comes off. I feel like my social game is pretty strong so I wouldnt have thought people in the house would push for me as a renom and eI'd be suprised if I get nominated! Last but not least, the unfortunate thing is how MENINIST these nominations are akjsdfla, we are really putting the orre in discriminatorrey.
youtube
Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
First DR of the game. I'm not going to do first impressions because I'm not that dry. The game started when I was put in this bitch, so I'm here to go at full force. I'm going to play a strong balance of a great 1 on 1 social game while still being a great personality people love. As of right now I'm being constantly dragged and roasted, and I wouldn't want it any other way. (But this is before HOH so the claws are bound to come over) So my game has been very social as of right now. Before HoH I focused on making genuine connections. I'm good with all the returnees at this point. None of them have beef with me, and I made it clear that I want to work with all of them (while this is farther from the truth). I'm just being diplomatic because there's some tension between the returnees that will have to be released soon. With the returnees I connected automatically with Zeezo. Me and her didnt even small talk its was just game talk from moment one. Thats a great relationship to have, and I'm definitely maintaining it. Jose and Alivia have been talking to me more. Jose has been more open with working with me than Alivia so : \\. All the returnees from Kanto-Sinnoh are here because theyre entertaining, the bitches from Unova-Alola would be casted for redemption but don't meet the criteria. I made an alliance with Jelaminah and Ricky. This is mostly because I need to be on Jelaminah's good side because I know the bitch knows how to play. So i would rather be scheming with her than against her. Ricky is just a number. On housecalls I saw that Jela was talking to Julia a lot. So I started talking to Julia a lot more. I surprisingly trust her a lot more than I thought I would. So me and her aren't beefing, but her and Bryce are. HOS20 affects this game because Julia and Saxon are aligned in this game and they're against Bryce and Sammy as of right now. I know Julia can drop a vendetta, but Saxon is just horrible about it. And I hate Saxon so much. He just gives me second hand embarassment and i dont know why. Like I'm so happy I've trained myself to hold my tongue because the shit he wears on housecalls actually make me laugh. He posted a picture of him shirtless and it was literally looking at rotten spam meat. Its not cute, and he is just so prude in pms because he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. I can make a separate DR about Saxon because he brings out all the hate and all the angst I had when I was in Johto. But going back to the topic Julia fought Sammy and Bryce ig and Saxon thinks Julia is right because he's a kissass and is a savvy feminist. I love Julia so her having beef isnt good. I talked to her and she said she didnt have good relations with Olivia, Bryce, Sammy, and Autumn. And i was shocked that this game is so against her, but this is great information because its something I can utilize. But those are her problems, and they dont affect me. If she wants to play with me she's gonna have to fix amends or take them out 1 by 1First DR of the game. I'm not going to do first impressions because I'm not that dry. The game started when I was put in this bitch, so I'm here to go at full force. I'm going to play a strong balance of a great 1 on 1 social game while still being a great personality people love. As of right now I'm being constantly dragged and roasted, and I wouldn't want it any other way. (But this is before HOH so the claws are bound to come over) So my game has been very social as of right now. Before HoH I focused on making genuine connections. I'm good with all the returnees at this point. None of them have beef with me, and I made it clear that I want to work with all of them (while this is farther from the truth). I'm just being diplomatic because there's some tension between the returnees that will have to be released soon. With the returnees I connected automatically with Zeezo. Me and her didnt even small talk its was just game talk from moment one. Thats a great relationship to have, and I'm definitely maintaining it. Jose and Alivia have been talking to me more. Jose has been more open with working with me than Alivia so : \\. All the returnees from Kanto-Sinnoh are here because theyre entertaining, the bitches from Unova-Alola would be casted for redemption but don't meet the criteria. I made an alliance with Jelaminah and Ricky. This is mostly because I need to be on Jelaminah's good side because I know the bitch knows how to play. So i would rather be scheming with her than against her. Ricky is just a number. On housecalls I saw that Jela was talking to Julia a lot. So I started talking to Julia a lot more. I surprisingly trust her a lot more than I thought I would. So me and her aren't beefing, but her and Bryce are. HOS20 affects this game because Julia and Saxon are aligned in this game and they're against Bryce and Sammy as of right now. I know Julia can drop a vendetta, but Saxon is just horrible about it. And I hate Saxon so much. He just gives me second hand embarassment and i dont know why. Like I'm so happy I've trained myself to hold my tongue because the shit he wears on housecalls actually make me laugh. He posted a picture of him shirtless and it was literally like  looking at rotten spam meat. Its not cute, and he is just so prude in pms because he obviously doesnt want to talk to me. I can make a separate DR about Saxon because he brings out all the hate and all the angst I had when I was in Johto. But going back to the topic Julia fought Sammy and Bryce ig and Saxon thinks Julia is right because he's a kissass and is a savvy feminist. I love Julia so her having beef isnt good. I talked to her and she said she didnt have good relations with Olivia, Bryce, Sammy, and Autumn. And i was shocked that this game is so against her, but this is great information because its something I can utilize. But those are her problems, and they dont affect me. If she wants to play with me she's gonna have to fix amends or take them out 1 by 1. Until then I'm going to spend my time with investments that are bound to pay off. Which are with the newbies. I've been spending a lot of time on Blake because Blake lives 20 minutes away from me. I'm trying to hold this down as secret as possible. He likes me, and I want to work with him so I'm just going to continue our friendship and ensure that we're a duo. He doesn't talk a lot in the housechat which is concerning to me, but he does hold very strong one on one relations with most of the house. Lynn is also a south carolina native, and she is just so infectious. She is very intimidated by the large cast meaning that she hasnt bonded that well with a lot of people. So i put two and two together and made a South Carolina alliance. I know Blake is genuine about it. But the main purpose of this alliance is to keep Lynn under my sphere of influence. I can't have no newbies on my side. No ma'am Another newbie who stands out for me is John. John is just really active, and such a social threat. Meaning that his word has saying. So far my relationship with him has been "hey let literally help you with anything and expect nothing in return". With him im trying to show myself as a puppet, or somebody who is very very useful with him. And I actually showed that this week when Bryce won HOH. Won't lie I didnt want but also wanted HOH at the same time. When Bryce won it I was very wary of what was going to happen. Then John comes up to me saying that Bryce is thinking of nominating him. And since I had a decent bond with Bryce I know that I had to save John. So when Bryce talked to me he was dead set as Roxy as the initial nom and target, and Julia for safety this week.  Then he mentioned that he was on the fence because he didnt know if he wanted Autumn or John nominated. So I told him the truth that it would be silly to nominate somebody as active as John. And so John wasn't nominated. I stuck my neck out for John and was one of the reasons he isn't nominated this week. And these game things build genuine trust since I'm not just talking to talk. I'm walking to walk and this game isn't ready for Randyy.
Tumblr media
Hello ladies and gentlemen you're looking at the first nominee of the season waysup
Imma get to the bottom of this so ain't even worried. I just feel bad y'all didn't even get one happy confessional from me. We just jumped straight into poppin off. That's ok though! Nice for what am i rite
Tumblr media
Bryce is full of shit and I'm embarrassed for him. Like who makes an enemy out of me on Day fucking 3? Really my guy? That's the first thing you thought of when you had 19 people to pick from? Apparently I'm getting nominated because the other 18 people in the cast talked to Bryce yesterday and I didn't. Not only do I not buy that, but we just not gonna acknowledge the fact that I talked to him on 2 of the 3 days the game has been going on so far? K cool. Today we learned unless Bryce feels like the prettiest girl at the dance every minute of every day, you're not doing enough Also can we talk about how the "I'm so happy to play with you I always root for you" energy that Bryce was selling to me on day one didn't even last a round? Hiigghkey I feel like the people who know me in the cast are secretly happy cause they know I'm petty enough to take Bryce out and I'll have no problem taking the fall for it. Ali, Ashvika, Sammy, Julia, Olivia- they know I don't play that shit. Can you imagine being first HOH, using it on me, and then thinking I'm not mad at you because I "understand" that nominating me was "the easiest thing to do"?
Tumblr media Tumblr media
SHIT YOUR BOI JUST DID THAT TONIGHT! IF U KNOW YOU KNOW. 😜😂
Tumblr media
youtube
Tumblr media
CLICK HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!
woo I'm on call with Autumn, Sammy, Jela & Dennis. THEY ARE SO FUN. I am back on the Jela stan train, she is actually super nice! I think I want Autumn to stay this week (and I think she could too)! Roxy is super sweet, but Autumn is a queen and the queen stays queen! Oh, I'm not using the veto too, its way too early to make a move and I don't know who would go up instead. I'm still SHRIEKING that I won that veto somehow kjlasdfa
Tumblr media
CLICK HERE TO SEE RANDY’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!
Tumblr media
[5/9/18, 2:45:32 PM] Blake Sanders: do you want money?? [5/9/18, 2:45:41 PM] Blake Sanders: BC THE MONEY WANTS YOU! [5/9/18, 2:45:43 PM] alivia: do you wanna be rich??? [5/9/18, 2:45:53 PM] Blake Sanders: ^^^^^^ RICH [5/9/18, 2:45:58 PM] Blake Sanders: not just driving nice car rich [5/9/18, 2:46:07 PM] Blake Sanders: I mean using cheeta fur as toilet paper rich! [5/9/18, 2:46:15 PM] alivia: 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 [5/9/18, 2:48:20 PM] alivia: YOUVE BEEN HAND SELECTED [5/9/18, 2:48:31 PM] alivia: BECAUSE WE THINK YOU HAVE WHAT IT TAKES [5/9/18, 3:07:19 PM] rixxy 🦄: Hi I just got off work [5/9/18, 3:07:23 PM] rixxy 🦄: what the FUCK is this? [5/9/18, 3:07:33 PM] alivia: DO YOU WANT MONEY??? [5/9/18, 3:07:52 PM] rixxy 🦄: i'm scared but absolutely [5/9/18, 3:07:58 PM] Blake Sanders: FUCK YA! [5/9/18, 3:07:58 PM] alivia: WE WANT YOUR HELP SCAMMING THIS HOUSE! [5/9/18, 3:08:09 PM] alivia: it’s good to be a little scared [5/9/18, 3:08:12 PM] rixxy 🦄: I definitely don't like where this is going. [5/9/18, 3:08:12 PM] Blake Sanders: MONEY WERE GOIN TO RULE THIS AND MAKE MONEY [5/9/18, 3:08:26 PM] Blake Sanders: BUT U WILL RIXXY [5/9/18, 3:08:31 PM] rixxy 🦄: god [5/9/18, 3:08:34 PM] Blake Sanders: <3 [5/9/18, 3:09:00 PM] lynnt: yes [5/9/18, 3:09:53 PM] alivia: you’re gonna be rich so you gotta live rich [5/9/18, 3:11:57 PM] Blake Sanders: There’s like a joining fee [5/9/18, 3:12:01 PM] alivia: yep [5/9/18, 3:12:09 PM] alivia: like scientology [5/9/18, 3:12:21 PM] alivia: but like this is real [5/9/18, 3:12:56 PM] rixxy 🦄: i'm not paying for this [5/9/18, 3:13:01 PM] rixxy 🦄: is this like a legit game thing? [5/9/18, 3:13:03 PM] rixxy 🦄: bc [5/9/18, 3:13:07 PM] lynnt: then imma opt out b/c this rich bitch is cheap and that’s why i’m rich [5/9/18, 3:13:55 PM] Blake Sanders: I mean we legit love u guys [5/9/18, 3:14:07 PM] rixxy 🦄: is this an alliance [5/9/18, 3:14:12 PM] rixxy 🦄: bc i'm uncomfortable and confused [5/9/18, 3:14:35 PM] alivia: woah woah woah [5/9/18, 3:14:41 PM] alivia: everyone calm down [5/9/18, 3:15:09 PM] alivia: don’t worry about the money. you can pay the joining fee AFTER we’re rich [5/9/18, 3:15:15 PM] alivia: don’t worry [5/9/18, 3:15:16 PM] rixxy 🦄: like i'm actually having an anxiety attack can you RATMEME.PNG literally..... WHAT???? blake and i were talking and started joking about being scammers bc sdfkal and then i was like "we should start a scammer alliance" and that's how it all started. we thought it would be SO funny if we just added them to a chat and started trolling them about scamming houseguests out of their money dljgdkfjg and i thought MAYBE lynn and ricky would be confused at first but ricky literally lost his mind like ooops my bad WE THOUGHT WE WERE FUNNY BUT I GAS NOT. [5/9/18, 3:16:08 PM] alivia: it’s a joke but kind of an alliance [5/9/18, 3:16:21 PM] alivia: but mostly a joke [5/9/18, 3:16:44 PM] rixxy 🦄: i literally thought i got dragged into some kind of game twist and i wouldn't play my own game god [5/9/18, 3:17:08 PM] alivia: omg WHAT [5/9/18, 3:17:19 PM] alivia: LITERALLY THE BIGGEST JOKE NOT SERIOUS [5/9/18, 3:17:25 PM] alivia: IMSORFY [5/9/18, 3:17:28 PM] rixxy 🦄: like i thought it was some saboteur/team america bullshit [5/9/18, 3:17:35 PM] alivia: omg noooo [5/9/18, 3:17:42 PM] rixxy 🦄: all i want to do is play the game and i literally thought that was snatched from me [5/9/18, 3:17:50 PM] alivia: HOW??? [5/9/18, 3:18:17 PM] rixxy 🦄: idk i thought y'all were a twist sdksksksksks sdfjsdl wow fuck me i gas??? my social game is really off to a great start!!! gotta get ricky outta here asap now
Tumblr media
Right now i am on CAll with SAMMY SAM bc im bad at talking to multiple people at a time! SOOOOOO SAMMY is like wanting to be ym ally but like do i trust his ass??
Tumblr media
CLICK HERE TO SEE JOSE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!
Tumblr media
okayyyyy so this is definitely something different like bb is hard tbh. there's too many people to talk to and i just really don't care about continuing to keep up a convo with some of them but you have to or bye bye. i have definitely not been as social as most and that is def scary but the people that i have talked to and made connections are super nice. so that's why i was so glad when the people that won HOH and POV are people i talked to. uuhHHuh i have no fucking clue who i want to evict tonight so that's fun! ya know autumn is super nice and chill but she did go dark for a while and roxy is super fun and i still haven't heard ANY singing and i want to and she is campaigning really hard so she really wants to stay BUT since she's campaigning so hard to stay and kinda saying anything to EVERYONE who knows what she'll do to stay in the game later on. idk is it too early to be thinking about later in the game?? idkkk thanks for coming to my rambling ted talk. find out next time on if i've decided.
Tumblr media
CLICK HERE TO SEE DENNIS’ VIDEO DIARY ROOM!
Tumblr media
OK SOOOO the eviction is coming up tonight and its either going to be Autumn or Roxy! NOw autumn is a super sweet queen but i feel like she will kill me if need be! but i still lvoe her! now roxy she is fighting for her life like she is making me promises i think she will not be able to keep. bc ive heard form other hosue guests she is making the same promises to them. NOW i love talkin to her about food and cooking but i feel awful that im most likely going to evict her! but o well it has to be done im glad its not me
i feel like i should give like a summary of like where i am with everyone and how i feel about them all before the first eviction! ALI: Well i first knew him because he reached out to me about a game he is gonna host. He like doesn't talk to me much which makes me nervous... I like him a lot but looks like we are just acquaintances atm. ALIVIA: OK I FREAKIN LOVE HER! SHE IS HILARIOUS! WE STARTED A ALLIANCE CHAT CALLED SCAMMERS R' US AND RICKY LEGIT FREAKED THE FUCK OUT AND WE WERE ALL LIKE WTF JUST HAPPENED HE IS INSANE! i hope i get to work with her a lot during this game and talk about ice cream! But i do see her stabbing me in the back later on so ill prob strike first. LOVE YA ASHVIKA: now this girl is a goddess she is beauty and she is grace! we talk like avg and stuff we have small chats nothing about gamewise. I see her as not being a threat as in targeting people or winning HOH i see her as a social threat. I think she will go far but not win she will def be jury. I think she is amazing tho and shes a model soo like i want to be her. AUTUMN: Now Autumn is a delight to be around so sweet and seems so pure but she will kill me i just know it. She's the beautiful flower in the garden that turns into a man eating plant <3 she is temptation and i may fall for it BLAKE: ive been told i was a certified good boy BRYCE: Now i knew him b4 this game bc of my friend TARA LOVE YOU BITCH <3 ! i think he will keep me around but idk if our bond is tight enough. i dont think he will choose to evict me yet. but other thsn that i want to work on having a closer bond with him for sure! DENNIS: I like dennis he just iidk theres not alot to say? me adn him talk about video games and stuff but whenever i talk to him i like forget like why im talkin to him lol! but he is super chill! JELAMINAH: THIS WOMAN <3 IS AMAZINGLY FUNNYY! SHE IS ONE PERSONALITY I WANT TO GET ON MY SIDE~! she is hilarious amd an amazing person i want to work with her sooo bad! i talk to her in oms sometimes but she is more of a on call person i believe or she just doesn't wanna talk to me ahah . O AND JELA I TAKE BACK TO WHO I THINK THE CUTEST BOY HERE IS ! JOHN : I love john! me and him talk trash about  random things and it is hilarious! i hope he feels as close to me as i am to him! i feel like we can work together in the long run. JOSE: Ive only talked to Jose just a little bit so im worried if he ever wins HOH bc i may be nominated! so i better get my ass into high gear and talk to him more. other than that i remebr him as the guy who someone hit his fence with a car. JULIA: NOW i have heard things about this girl! like that she is ana amzing player and i better watch out for her! IM SO SORRY JULIA BUT U R ON MY HITLIST! AND SADLY U NEVER U LEFT ME ON READ IN MY PMS RUDE~! KAT:I WAS SO WORRIED ABOUT KAT BUT WE JUST STARTED TALKING TODAY AND WE HELPED names each others plants! she is a precious person and i love her! she is so funny! i want to work with her for this game! LYNN: YALL THIS IS MY BITCH ! I LOVE YOU LYNN WE PLAYED IN MOHELI TOGETHER AND AFTER THAT IT WAS HISTORY WE BECAME BEST FRIENDS VISITING EACH OTHER AND STUFF! SHE ONLY LIED 2 HOURS FROM ME WHEN I WENT TO SCHOOL I SAW HER ALL THE TIME! I AM MOST DEF WORKING WITH HER! SHE IS MY BESTFRIEND! <3 LOVE U OLIVIA: OK WELL IDK MUCH bout her. ummmm i talked to her a little im ttrying to become her ally but its not really workign she wont talk to meee!! RANDY: omg i have not heard good things about him.... i shouldve been told these things sooner omg! i feel like he hates me he might! we live in the same city and live like 15 mins away! omg rip rip rip . he goes to my old highdchool! thats crazy af! im working wiht him rn but i i think im going to nom him in the middle of the game or try to get him out around then. sorry randy! also hes been giving me the cold shoulder and not talkin to me which is rude. adnwe r in an alliance chat bro. come on really... RICKY: TBh u annoy me. everything i like u say its dumb or u don't like it. i say goodmorning/afternoon to u adn u say its morning its not even close to afternoon whatre u doing. AND IM LIKE WTF HAV U NEVER HEARD OF TIMEZONES! LIKE HELLLLLO! damn just we are not compatible people and well if i ever win HOH ill prob nom him. ROXY: DAMN BITCH I CAUGHT U IN A LIE AND U DONT KNOW ABOUT IT! THIS IS THE REAOSN IM VOTIN TO EVICT U IM SORRY OMG IM GOIN TO MISS TALKIN TO U ABOUT FOOD! ur sooo sweet omg and u hav a lovely voice! SAMMY: I have been told not to trust him bc he is a snake. But shit he is one of my closest allies now! like we talked for hours on call and watched survivor it was such a cute little date! GOD i hope he doesnt betray me ill cry so much! i mean he might but like i dont wanna back stab him.... yet <3 SAXON: who r u?? talked like never. ur probably nice?? ZEEZO: Girl u be freakin lynn out with eveyrhting u saying to and about her! soo idk like aht to do wiht u ahahah prob get u nominated?? SORRY IM A LOSER AND DIDNT MAKE A VID I LOOK LIKE A THUMB ATM <3
Tumblr media
what bitch Randy, 3:05 PM hola 3:05 PM you never sent me a pm Randy, 3:05 PM ur coll bc you aint never talk about interesting shit 3:05 PM uh huh Randy, 3:05 PM tf am i supposed to reply to "yea" 3:06 PM sorry I'm not your source of entertainment you twink I was busy with my life Randy, 3:06 PM wow this is something we can TALK ABOUT Randy, 3:06 PM what did you do I kinda snapped sorry Randy
Are u gonnaget ur tattoo coloured? :0 or will it be lines? Rn im hungry waiting for ma burger heh 9:21 PM It’s just lines henny 👑, 9:23 PM Sweet! What inspires the one u chose? 👑, 6:35 AM Hey saxon! I wanted to wait to speak to you in person but im tired and sorta not feeling well so i cant stay up. I wouls love it id you vote me to stay!! I really enjoy this game and im a p loyal ally! Im active and have jackbox too xd. Ill try be up at least 2 hours bfr eviction if you wanna chat about the vote! 👑, 3:03 PM Morning 3:03 PM Hiya 👑, 3:03 PM Hows it going? 3:04 PM fine busy 👑, 3:04 PM Ripp with what m? 3:05 PM a 5 page paper 👑, 3:06 PM Ew Wtf 3:06 PM ye 👑, 3:06 PM Just quit school. Death sound sbetter than that Hshsbs 3:10 PM i omg 👑, 3:11 PM Lmfao Man now my eviction worries seem meaningless 3:14 PM Why is that? 👑, 3:15 PM :o cause your   5 page thing is gross :o have you started on it or still got a ways to go? 3:20 PM I still got a ways to go 👑, 3:20 PM yikes 👑, 3:20 PM how are you feeling about this week? like hame wise Roxy I think you're a lovely person but holy fuck can you just please shut up sometimes when you know someone is busy
Tumblr media
CLICK HERE TO SEE ALI’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!
Tumblr media
CLICK HERE TO SEE PT 1 OF BRYCE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!
CLICK HERE TO SEE PT 2 OF BRYCE’S VIDEO DIARY ROOM!
Tumblr media
I'd say it was an effective campaign xoxo Summer Shrek
Tumblr media
CAST ASSESSMENT
CLICK HERE TO WATCH THE WEEK 1 CAST ASSESSMENT!
0 notes