#this is completely random because i just wanted to draw snape thinking and drinking coffee | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ashes-and-ashes · 5 years

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I hope your day gets better!! How about this one: “All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”

Some fluffy random thing that I wrote!

I dedicate this to @rosielupin! Hope this makes your day a little bit better! (I was going to write some angst, but I decided against it....)

“I think I would rather fuck a cactus. It’s better then fucking Snape.”

Remus groans, burying his head in the pillow. They were all lying on their beds, the four of them, playing an extremely risqué game of Truth or Dare and Remus should have stopped an hour ago. He covers his eyes with his hands, peeking through his fingers at James, who flashed him an evil grin. “Alright, Re. Truth or Dare?”

Remus bit his thumb, the small patch of skin beside his nail. James was a bastard. This wouldn’t go well.

He sighs. “Truth.”

James leans forwards. “How many times a week do you and Sirius bang?”

Beside him, Sirius snorts, lacing his hands underneath his head. “More like how many times a day we bang.”

Remus flips him off as James squawks. “You’re joking.”

Peter winces. “No. They are definitely not joking.”

James rounds on him. “How do you know?”

“He walked in on us once,” Sirius says. He smirks at Peter, who had gone a perculiar red colour all over his face. “A quiet Saturday evening, James and Lily out on some date. We had the dormitory to ourselves, so we decided that we’d - “

Remus hurls his pillow at Sirius. “Oh, shut up.”

Sirius shrugs. “Well, what else do you expect me to say? All I do is drink coffee and say bad words.”

Remus rolls his eyes, turning to James. “3-4 times”.

“A day?”

Remus groans. “A week. Bastard.”

James just winces. “Yeah. Maybe I shouldn’t have asked that.” He blinks. “Wait. So when we’re sleeping, you two are actually - “

“Peter!” Remus shouts, drowning out James. “Truth or Dare?”

Peter shrugs. “Truth.”

“Would you rather steal McGonagall’s hat or Marlene’s lipstick?”

“McGonagall,” Peter says immediately. “I’d like to have my balls in one piece.”

“McGonagall would turn you into a chair though,” muses Sirius.

Peter shudders. “But Marlene would actually curse my balls off. She already threatened to curse yours off, Sirius.”

“Oh no,” he says. “What will Remus and I do then?”

Remus winks at him. “You could always suck my - “

James shakes his head. “Stop it!” He kicks the bedframe. “You two are horrible.”

Sirius blows him an air kiss as Peter asks him, “Truth or Dare?”

Sirius frowns, tilting his head. “Dare,” he finally says. Peter shrugs. “Okay. I dare you to - “

“Walk into breakfast tomorrow in drag,” James interrupts. “Completely. Makeup and everything.”

Sirius doesn’t even blink an eye. “Done.”

Peter sniggers, leaning back. “This is going to be so much fun.”

Remus sighs.

“Reeeeeeeemus!”

Remus groans, sleepily looking up from where he had been snoring away. He knows his hair is messy -he can feel it sticking up on his head in spikes, his mouth dry from where it had lay open the entire night. He frowns. “What the fuck do you want Sirius?”

“Help me put on this lipstick!”

Remus swears, yanking the pillow over his head. He only manages 30 seconds before Sirius is shouting for him again. “Reeee?”

“For fuck’s sakes,” Remus yells. He stands up, hurling his pillow across the room and stomps over to the bathroom. “I swear Sirius, I’m going to get myself a new boyfriend....”

Sirius looks up at him, from where he was bent over the sink. Remus blinks as he drags his gaze up and down Sirius’ body, taking in the fishnet stockings, the tight black dress and the blond wig reaching right down to his ass. “Oh God. Please no.”

Sirius wriggles his eyebrows, looking up at Remus. “Oh yes. I look fabulous.”

“You look,” Remus says, “like a monkey in a wig.”

Sirius bats his eyes. “No, I look like a sexy, sexy lady.”

Remus swallows. Sirius did look good, the dress showing off his shoulders, the stockings sticking to his legs, the way he stood taller and -

He shakes his head. “Bastard,” he hisses, mostly to himself. He rakes a hand through his already messy hair, swearing as he yanked a finger through a knot. “I can’t believe you’re doing this.”

“Believe it,” Sirius tells him. He flicks the mass of blond curls over his shoulder.

“I’m serious considering killing you.”

“Oh don’t do that.” Sirius winks at him. “Because then Marlene will get pissed and murder my ass.”

“You’ll already be dead though,” Remus points out.

Sirius shrugs. “Do you honestly think that will stop Marlene?”

He had a point. Remus sighs, moving to sit on the edge of the sink. “What do you want?”

Sirius holds out a red tube, turning it between his fingers. “Help me with this. It’s so damn hard doing it on the mirror.”

Remus rolls his eyes, accepting the tube. He frowns, holding the cap up to the light, the golden words curling along the edges. “Is this Marlene’s?”

“She said I could borrow it!”

Remus shakes his head. “Bullshit and you know it.”

Sirius just winks.

With a groan, Remus uncaps the lipstick, twisting the top so he could rest it on Sirius’ lips. He moves it, coating his lips in a crimson red, trying not to think about Sirius’ mouth because that had never gone well for him -

Sirius chuckles, low in his throat. “Hey get your mind out of the gutter, Re.”

“Shut up,” Remus hisses. “I swear, I’ll draw lipstick all over your face.”

“Nah.” Sirius takes a deep breath. “You wouldn’t.”

He’s too close now, so close that Remus can’t get his hands up in the space between them. The lipstick glistens, coating Sirius’ bottom lip and Remus slaps him. “Do you want me to snog the life out of you?”

Sirius flutters his eyelashes.

With a groan, Remus pulls him closer and kisses him, hard, so that their lips are together and Sirius is under his hands. Sirius makes a noise in the back of his throat, something low and keening, his hand tangling in Remus’ hair.

Remus almost goes to do the same, to wrap Sirius’ raven locks around his finger, but he remembers the wig. He pulls back, scowling. “I can’t kiss you when you’re dressed like this.”

“Why?” Sirius asks. “Do you find it - “ he strikes a ridiculous pose - “Disturbing?”

Remus rolls his eyes. “Oh shut up,” he says, leaning forward again to apply more lipstick. “You’re an idiot. You know that right?”

“You love me anyways,” Sirius whispers. Remus snorts. “Doubtful.”

With a pleased smile, Sirius draws back, his lips stained a vibrant red. “Perfect. Thanks, Re.”

Remus nods, turning away. “Can I go sleep now?”

Sirius shakes his head. “No. Come watch me eat breakfast dressed like a drag queen.”

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