#they think i'm a cishet guy

[the-biornicles]

bleh

#lior says words #vent #i said i would get over this today so first and last vent about this #but basically my friend/crush told me last night that he likes me #and for like 30 minutes it was like holy shit me too damn that's crazy we should totally kiss nonplatonically #but he's christian #at first i was like oh it's fine i know queer christians #but he literally said “i know my beliefs are kinda in the way but i love you” #so i should've been able to tell that a few minutes after i went to bed he would retract his statement #and basically say that right now he didn't want to “betray his religion” bc of a crush #i'm not even mad at him #just kinda disappointed bc i was literally so close #literally. if i wasn't trans. or he wasn't christian. or rather christianity wasn't so ambivalent about gay people #we would probably be together rn #and i want to tell him “it's fine you can be christian and date a guy” but like #his family is also super christian and idk how they feel about gay people #they think i'm a cishet guy #so in the end maybe it's better this way? #honestly. i'm still naively hanging on to hope #like maybe he'll be able to reconcile his own feelings and his religious beliefs. maybe his family ends up being alr with it #maybe this still has a happy ending idk #that's the worse part #that i'm still hoping #it's stupid and naive but what the hell i just wish it would happen #i hope and wish that in the future it all works out just fine #one way or another

[aromantic-diaries]

"people want to be oppressed so bad" says person talking about asexuals and 15 year olds with neopronouns rather than incels on 4chan who think women are evil for not sleeping with them

#i get called out for having a ''victim complex'' for pointing out general aphobia that exists #while there's cishet white guys who think liking video games is the reason why they can't get laid and that the world is to blame #when they're literally just unpleasant #but sure i'm the whiner for saying that by certain viewpoints i don't qualify as human #sure

[finalgirlsamwinchester]

thinking about pilot draft dean harrison again

#imagine if he got handed over to an insane gay person. the lost camp potential of it all. #we could've had a bill paxton as severen in near dark kinda guy.... #i love toxically masculine nutjob characters but dean doesn't quite hit that spot for me hmmm. even when he's a demon. #show dean's machismo is so boring to me bc it's so mundane. does anyone get me #he's exactly like every cishet man i've ever known #it's why im fond of early series dean. at least he used to be a bit more of a manic pixie tyler durdenesque silly guy. but barely. #his evolution on the show just turned him into #your average middle-aged uncle who thinks drinking water is a 'lil bit gay' #now i'm just gonna go listen to The Downward Spiral again and think on what could've been.............. #j.txt

[watery-melon-baller]

I can't be too mean to him because we're in the same program and we have classes together until we graduate. I don't think he will react poorly if I turn him down but also I don't wanna risk anything so. most of this is advice from my friends if you have any other ideas feel free to contribute

#poll #lilac post #ive just been ignoring him and hoping it will resolve itself on it's own #his friends keep calling him a simp and I'm not at all interested #I feel kinda bad because he is nice and friendly but also he does not at all know how to like. be non awkward about his flirting #it just comes off like. weird #ive just been politely ignoring all the shit he's done #he's like. A cishet guy for the record and im a cis girl so #i don't THINK he knows I'm gay? I've been making gay jokes but idk if he's been catching them #anyways I ghosted him last week so maybe that will help me #also he unironcally uses the 🥹 emoji when talking to me like eugh #he's done other things like. he seems nice but is awkward about it and I'm not interested #sigh

[canonically47]

might go insane and *gets the idea of jack hoffman and emily wokerson adopted family*

#guys you don't get it #he said he's impressed by the idea #i'm in shambles #idrk how old the cgcu characters are?? i have my own hcs and such #i dont think they're all cameron's age (which. what is it?? don't think he's stated it) #just because he plays them #because by that logic they'd all be cishet white men #which they're not #so my personal hc for emily is that she's 17 and that cameron is like #probably in his 30s? #so do you see the vision #huh. huh. do you. DO YOU!?!?!?!??!! #cameron geller #cameron geller cinematic universe #cgcu #we need to make the cgcu as popular as sanders sides #its essentially the same thing but in shorts #(and by that i mean shorter videos not shorts as in the pants. though that'd be funny) #no use in tagging the characters but... #emily wokerson #jack hoffman #emily would hate having 'man' in her name if she ever got adopted by him but hey #she already has 'son' #it can only get worse from here #also she's an aro lesbian to me if anyone cares. btw. and she uses she/they #you can pry this headcanon from my cold dead hands #correction JACK is in his 30s not cameron #idk how old cameron is. obviously #though caleb said he was 26. i wonder if cameron is that same age?? maybe

[spaghett-onaplate]

sixth day at my new school and i didn't sit alone at lunch today 🥳🥳

#woohoo!! #some girls invited me to sit with them so i did and chatted to them and this other guy #some of them are in my classes!! they were all very nice #honestly i was aiming to just try and fit in with the cishet boys and last week when i heard the rumour i was gay i was kinda freaked out #but i've scoped out the situation and it's not unsafe to be out (as bi. not anyone's business i'm trans) #so i realise it's better to just be open and have better chances of finding the right people than living in fear and squashing myself to-- #--fit in with the wrong people. bc if i can't be fully myself around someone then why would i want to be good friends with them?? #so yar i'll stick with other queer guys and supportive girls. gay guy/straight girl friendships are stereotypical but it's an ecosystem tha #works in a situation like high school tbh #ooo and i guess he was away today but the guy from a couple of my classes who i think is cute is in that group so added bonus #o and actually unrelated but at recess i went to this queer group thing i was invited to by a teacher last week #(recess is first and lunch is sceond) #i wasn't sure if i was going to go (mostly bc of my 'blend in' mindset) but i'm glad i did!! it was pretty nice #mostly just nice to get an idea of 'safe' people and teachers yaknow #'people and teachers' -- those aren't two mutually exclusive categories of being ajdsgjf but ykwim #and if i didn't go then i probably wouldn't have been in the better mindset for being just myself with everyone at lunch #so wahoo yippee :D #now i just needa keep talking to everyone and putting myself out there a bit more and i'll find the right people :)

[and-make-it-double]

the cishet sam ppl are all not only wrong but also boring

#literally what about that guy makes you think he's cishet #like I'm sorry but y'all didn't watch the same spn i did #sam winchester #spn #supernatural

[essenceofarda]

so i finally finished rings of power

they really made sauron just... some dude huh

#look the show isn't BAD i actually enjoy a LOT of ti #i tell you i teared UP when the stranger was finally confirmed to be who he is (spoilers) #But... the show's choices for sauron is... pathetic imo #where's the pizzazz? Where's the dramatic flair? they really said let's make sauron the most average cishet guy ever lol #And i didn't even MIND the character before that #Like... i guess it works for the show so fans of the show don't @ me BUT as a BOOK* fan I'm a little disappointed bc they could have had FU #with sauron's character and... idk i think they kinda missed on that #mid. ROP sauron is just... mid #funky's personal tag #ROP Spoilers

[kiunlo]

i think we may have gone back around to calling virgins losers again and i'm really not liking it at all.

#like idk as a gay trans guy pre-t pre-op pre everything living in rural australia literally rationing my own food #who the fuck do u think is gonna fuck me without being homophobic transohobic sexist and abusive about it #if i bit the bullet and pretended to be a cishet woman and let a cishet man fuck me just to say i had sex and i'm no longer a virgin #it'd probably be the worst most horrible and triggering sex in the history of the world and i'd wish i was dead #idk some of us bitches are better of not having sex. we have issues man. #vent #ash's personal tag

[agendratum]

i keep being like "can't believe these people are friends they don't even like each other" but like i have to admit it makes all the sense

1. rich kids of politicians/influential people, "the golden youth", from what i know usually sticks together basically because they're growing up in the same circle anyway, they know all the same people, go to all the same places, all know each other etc

2. queer people tend to flock as well (at least it seems to be a widely agreed upon fact? i mean from personal experience, my queer friends group aside, in uni we were friends with the only other queer guy there even before i started to like him, at work i also found most of the queer people and stuck with them, even tho, again, some of them were not that likeable to me, but that's just personal experience) it's like, if you're queer, sticking with queer people you don't like that much is still better than sticking with cishet people you don't like that much, if this is making sense

3. they're in the same university, they have the same classes

combining the first two factors with the third one, they just have to stick together, because they don't necessarily have anyone else to stick to and they need somebody, at least until they graduate. it doesn't matter that your friends are shitty assholes who aren't even really your friends, cause at least you have somebody by your side and you know exactly who that is

#remember? too much coffee #now I'm just thinking about that guy from my uni #i started liking him eventually dont think that i was friends with someone i despised #yet he still annoyed me a lot sometimes but like #at least together with him we didn't have to be worried about being out and also in our little toxic group of friends #(there was another girl cishet but chill) #we could joke about gay sex all we wanted #and then he was from relatively wealthy family #(at least compared to me and that girl) #and in uni continued to be friends with another girl #cause they were classmates before that #and with her boyfriend as well #and from what i know I'm assuming both the girl and the bf were also relatively rich #so the three of them kept being friends even tho they both treated our guy like shit and the bf also treated that girl like shit #but they stuck together for some fucking reason #so you know #I don't think i should be surprised about the of friend group #wow no more coffee for me #watching ofts

[biracy]

Also in general I don't know when trans guys started acting like men are oppressed for having body hair or whatever. Literally no one who's even vaguely A Trans Ally is going to have an issue with you having body hair. If anything, it makes it a lot easier for cis people who might not "really get the whole trans Thing", because, believe it or not, body hair is considered by our society to be masculine. And things that are masculine are generally not oppressed, suppressed, or frowned upon

#lime who do u think cis people are more likely to recognize as men. the guys in that photo or famous trans person elliot page #can i be real i'm over this website's performative hatred of 'twinks' #you cannot pretend like mainstream cishet society idealizes 'twinks' fucking grow up #this is what this blog is now i guess. i <3 twinks i <3 trans guys who 'look like twinks' i <3 destroying traditional masculinity or w/e #open mick night #gender

[aeide-thea]

still thinking abt the tumblrinx i encountered a while back whose pinned post said they were transmasc… and also demanded that men dni

like—i’m not confused by the convoluted not-like-the-other-boys doublethink that gets you there, i can follow the chain of illogic just fine, but i sure am deeply wearily depressed by it!

#i know plenty of good men—good cis men even! gasp! #and i just think like. if we can’t move away from‚ like‚ cold gender war how the fuck do we move forward #fundamentally like. 100% block people who have behaved towards you in ways you didn't like. #but like. this whole thing where ~afabs~ preemptively self-victimize by conjuring up the creepiest cishet man they can imagine #and self-harm by worrying abt that imaginary guy jacking off to them #is just like. i understand how it happens but it’s like. you’re actively doing negative visualization #and‚ like‚ preemptively self-victimizing #ime it feels a lot better to move through the world unworried‚ in the knowledge that if someone says sth gross to you: you can block them! #anyway ultimately i’m pretty clearly making this post bc i'm overdue to unfollow the tirfiest blogger i’m currently following #like. yeah loads of cishet men are shitheads but ~misandry~ is so last decade #and frankly i don’t have a lot more time for the cishet women who have bought into the same system—like i have some sympathy but. #these people all get warped by the system into complementary fucked-up cogs whose teeth bite into one another #and i’m just not interested in biting back—i want to leave all the biting behind in the dust of the junkyard that birthed it #and like. i don’t want to dismiss the oppression that births this sort of rhetoric. it's super real and it's toxic and it fucks people up. #but it’s like. when people have bad dads and then are like Dads R Always Bad!!! #and i’m just over here like. i don’t know how to say this without sounding like i’m invalidating you but my dad was a fucking saint tbh #not perfect dgmw but like. a sweet gentle encouraging man who got ground down by my mother’s toxic heel along with the rest of us #so like. actually not only are you closing yr eyes to a better future‚ yr closing yr eyes to other ppl’s lived realities #like i personally managed to have a totally life-ruining mother without deciding Mothers Are Ontologically Evil Actually! #idk. obviously women remain *enormously* systemically oppressed! but surely we can acknowledge and decry that without #implicitly rhetorically closing off any possibility of a gentler queerer gender dynamic? #anyway none of this is revolutionary i’m just like. i KNOW the fascists want to cut off my toes and force me into the glass slipper #of viciously constrained femininity #that in turn makes itself feel better by sneering at men‚ critiquing other women who Do It Wrong‚ and exerting control over children #so i have strong personal cause to care about misogyny even if i didn’t care about it in the abstract #but i just think like. acting like traditional gender roles and dynamics are a fixed truth we can only bruise ourselves on #instead of a human construction that we can undermine and work to topple #is not actually the path to a healed world in the long run! #anyway. beta edition post (thumbtyped & not reread): may contain bugs.

[spiral-wizard]

Interviewed for a school bus driver job earlier this week and it was the most casual/streamlined interview I have ever experienced??

My overprepared ass showed up in a nice button-up with 2 copies of my 3 page resume and the guy who interviewed me (who was wearing basketball shorts and a shirt with mickey mouse on it) handed me the CDL study guides and had me fill out the background check forms before asking me a single question

Oh AND they gave me a piece of cake. Wild

#very sad that im trying to leave my current job so soon bc i like the job itself #but the guys i work for are intolerable monied cishet white men and i'm fed up after 3 months of being talked down to #school bus driver sloan will be better off i think.

[lingerxng]

"you're not gonna jump, are you? i don't think i'm qualified to give ledge talks."

bittie looked up over her shoulder. "nah, i'm not gonna jump," she said, turning back to face the city.

she heard more than saw as pierce moved to sit next to her, legs dangling over the edge if the helipad. they were quiet before he spoke again. "was wondering when this was gonna hit you," he said plainly.

she shrugged. "we had shit to do," she replied.

"didn't help that shaundi was fuckin' hysterical."

"that's sexist."

"man, you know what i mean." he shook his head. "she didn't take it well. i can't believe you held it together."

she turned to look at him, frowning. "what, did you expect me to just fall apart?"

"no. but i expected you to do something. he was your best friend."

bittie looked at him a moment longer, then turned to face steelport again. "we had shit to do," she said again, as if that explained it all. "loren needed to be dead."

"yeah, and after?"

"you saw what pryor did. i couldn't let him get away with that shit."

"boss." pierce waited until bittie turned to look at him. "everyone has to grieve."

she rolled her eyes. "i dunno if you noticed, but that's not really what we do around here."

"you think i didn't pour one out for johnny?" he tched softly. "shit, boss. you knew him for how long? and you think you can just ignore it? that's how you end up like shaundi."

bittie frowned. "finally getting off her ass to do her fucking job?"

"angry at the world." he turned out again, hands folded together loosely between his legs. "we're bangers, boss. we lose people. it comes with the territory."

she was quiet for a beat. "i wasn't supposed to lose him," she said finally, voice softer than before.

"i know. we all thought he was invincible."

"because he was." she shook her head. "i've seen him shot, stabbed, gutted, beaten. he could take anything."

"i know."

"he wasn't supposed to die."

"i know, boss."

bittie didn't want to cry. she'd worked so, so fucking hard to get where she was, and she didn't get there by breaking down. she swallowed hard, forcing her way last the rock in her throat. "he was my only friend, pierce."

"well, then what the fuck am i?"

she looked at him, brow furrowed. "huh?"

"boss, you're my best friend." he looked halfway between confused and... almost insulted. "shaundi, too."

well. at least he'd confused her beyond her sadness. "but... we don't..."

"what, just because we don't get our nails done and have fuckin' sleepovers, we aren't friends?"

"i di--"

"shit, this is why i'm not friends with women, they don't--"

"pierce!" he stopped, looking up at her. she took a breath, then let it out, somewhat shaky. "...thank you."

"for what?"

"i dunno." she shrugged one shoulder. "checking on me. being here."

"...yeah, sure thing, boss." a beat. "you gonna start crying now?"

she sniffed. "yeah, probably. you gonna leave?"

"nah. i can deal."

"cool." she leaned until their shoulders touched, took a breath, and stopped holding it in.

#saints row #pierce washington #boss bittie #ive been thinking a lot about the differences between the og series and the reboot #and namely about the relationships between characters #bc the reboot is *so focused* on how you're all friends (which i love) #and the og series... it doesn't feel like any of the saints are your friends #but i think that mainly the difference is like #what cishet mens relationships with other cishet men are like #particularly for gen x and older milennial men (the target demographic for the OG series) #theres this bit in bobs bugers where linda asks who bobs best friend is and he names a guy he hasnt talked to in fifteen years #and like idk. i want the saints to be your friends. and i think they are. #its just a VERY different dynamic than i'm used to #so im having feelings about it #bittie is lonelier than she lets on #i didnt mean to put an essay in the tags lol

[jellogram]

It's really fascinating how so many (predominantly white cishet) men will say they are really into history when they're only interested in WW2 or maybe the Roman empire or vikings. Like fifth grade level history and only wars. They're not like, reading about aristocratic culture at pre-Revolution Versailles, or the development of musical instruments in ancient Persia, or the disappearing religions of indigenous groups.

Because these guys aren't actually interested in history as a means to understand people from the past and how cultures mix and how we ended up here, they're just using history as a fantasy world. They long for a time and place where they wouldn't have been a loser and instead they would have been a war hero fighting for glory. They're so drunk on toxic masculinity and short of finding some Fight Club to join, their only outlets for these feelings are video games and history. And society treats video games as a Loser Hobby, but we treat history as a Smart Person Hobby, so they call themselves history buffs instead. Despite using it for essentially the same purpose they use video games — to imagine they live in some other place where they get the respect and self-righteousness they think they deserve.

#obligatory ''not all white cishet men who like history fall into this category'' #but I think you know the kind of guy I'm talking about

[cantarella]

love when an immortal character looks like a teenager behaves like a teenager is treated by everyone in the story and by the narrative like a teenager and is just purposefully written like a teenager and yet people refuse to accept maybe they're intended to be read that way. media literacy am I right

#sorry went through furinа's tag on twitter and got pissed off. why can't people be normal and also not cishet #imagine seeing her and neuvi interact and instead of seeing the way they're obviously meant to be read at different mental stages #and the way furinа relies on neuvi emotionally and in the workplace even if not on a mentor/mentee situation #and come to the conclusion they act like a couple. I'm going to hit you with my car #WHAT KIND OF SHITTY POWER DYNAMIC IS THAT I HATE YOU ALL. this is just like zhon/gxiao but even worse #bc the different mental maturity is even more pronounced and also it's tiny helpless girl rescued by big stoic guy. ew #like do you want me to throw up. like genuinely. I wish I could put them all in saw traps for making me see that shit #chi.txt #anyway I could talk for hours about why I think she's written as an exploration on adolescence and it's powerlessness #but I won't rn bc I'm pissed and sleepy