#they don't know me

[dollsahoy]

It's genuinely funny when people think saying to me "your experiences are not universal" is going to be some big revelation for me

I developed trichotillomania when I was 8. From that alone, I know my experiences are Not Normal.

(but that's definitely not the only reason I was A Weird Kid)

#my glamorous life #same for people who say 'i hate to burst your bubble' when they obviously very much do want to do that #but they don't actually manage to #because #THEY DON'T KNOW ME

[finnglas]

Hey @lrynt252! I saw your tags in a notification that movies are too loud for you and you have sensitive ears, and I'm here to #notsponsored tell you about something wonderful!

Flare Audio's "Calmer" collection! https://www.flareaudio.com/collections/calmer

I've been using them since the only version they had was the standard original, so I can't give reviews on the other varieties because I'm still just using the ones I've had for 3+ years, but they're mazing. As the Calmer Kids variety says, "Makes spiky sounds smooth."

As far as I'm aware, it won't help with things like tinnitus, but it DOES help when sounds are Too. Too spiky, too sharp, too grating, too shrill. They're great for cinemas, because it also helps with that guy two rows back who is just going ham on some popcorn in the middle of a quiet scene, along with the overpowering min-max tones of cinema speakers. I also take them to theme parks for standing in line in an indoor queue where everyone's voices are echoing and they just keep talking louder to be heard over everyone else's echoey voice and... you get the idea.

My wife reports that they also help with her chewing-noises misophonia (rage response to certain sound triggers -- mine is slurping/smacking, hers is crunching).

Anyway! I linked to their direct site up there but they also have a storefront where they sell through Amazon if that helps take some shipping charges off your plate.

Hope this helps!

#i am a brand evangelist for these guys #they don't know me #but they should #i do not get paid for the amount of advertising i do for them #but i should lmao

[bibiana112]

And for bad oversharing medical news the arrhythmia from december never went away but I thought maybe the throat infection was still there right so that could be a reason but then I went to a specialist and not only is it practically cured (just lingering a bit) but my lungs sound fine as well! which means! the shortness of breath is probably something wrong with the oxygen in the bloodstream and the slight chest tightness is also extremely worrying I could only make an appointment to get it checked next friday and that sounds like way too long

#I know it's morbid but the only thing I can think about is how fucking mad I am at my parents and how I wish I had someone else to take care #of my things and burial if I were to die #they don't know me #they would do everything against my wishes because they never cared to listen #and Especially I am mad at my dad cause when this started he was around and I was really scared and upset and nearly crying and I told him #that I was considering going to the hospital right there and then and then he didn't. fucking say anything or ask if I was okay #they'll never listen anything just registers as crazy fucking kid having a tantrum again let's give her space leave her out of sight #And I had to Yell at him to stop telling me not to go to the hospital the next day and I mean Yell and he still said they'd deny it #that I was making it up if I had just been on my fucking own I wouldn't have double guessed myself on it and gone to the wrong specialist #and wasted time and gotten to the point where it's not like debilitating pain but constantly aware that it's there and I can only like eat #heart healthy shit that I don't even like and wait and god I am so upset at them why so I have to be alone and yet still be so tied to them #why pretend to care when I've said time and time again they're still hurting me like nearly everytime we see each other #Okay nevermind I actually Need to distract myself now usually confronting feelings is my favorite #but my body is telling me that if I want to cry I have to deal with it physically feeling like there's a hole between my ribs so #I'll hold off on it #I'll be fine #god going to sleep has been the absolute worse #delete later

[voidmother-threadbearer]

The bigger post going around with this tiktok was posted by a radfem, so we’re going to share it again with a direct link to the creator’s tiktok

Please also check out Olivia Alonso Gough’s (_bug_girl’s) immersive virtual art space, Bug World. edit: radfems stfu and learn to respect non-binary people challenge

#art history #they/them #queer artists #I don't know them #They don't know me #it just feels fucking disgusting to have that kind of disrespect directly attached

[shinayashipper]

Got questioned borderline personal home situation at work And I just snapped like "I don't want to talk about this" - I hope they understand about it (and it won't affect my career or anything hhhHHH)

#i hate that i feel bad abt it #They don't know me #and I honestly don't care abt how they 'had it Worse than me' or whatever #:(( #it was supposed to be casual chat during break

[mayhemchicken-artblog]

in the hour or so it took me to draw this op turned reblogs off

#art #artists on tumblr #bitches will say ''in what context are these colors pretty'' #and then post the delicate hues of sunlight filtering through the leaves of a forest in late springtime #edit: censored the other op bc some of yall are starting to scare me and i don't want them getting harassed #and as long as im here. stop telling me it's the shrek colors i know it's the shrek colors #everybody and their mother has already mentioned it's the shrek colors

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

#yeehaw #1k #5k #10k #posts that got cursed. blasted. im making these tag updates after... 19 hours? #also i have been told it should say speech loss bc nonverbal specifically refers to the permanent state. did not know that! #unfortunately i fear it is so far past containment that even if i edited it now it would do very little. but noted for future reference #edit 2: nvm enough ppl have come to rb it from me directly that i changed the wording a bit. hopefully this makes sense #also. in case anyone is curious. though i doubt anyone who is commenting these things will check the original tags #1) my friend did not do this on purpose in any way. it was not intended to distract me or to hit on me. im a lesbian hes a gay man. cmon now #he felt very bad about it afterwards. i thought it was hilarious but it was very embarrassed and apologetic #2) “why didn't he use 🫵🏼?” didn't exist yet. “why didn't he use 🆗?” dunno! we'd been using a lot of hand emojis. 👌🏼 is an ok sign #like it makes sense. it was just a silly mixup. also No i did not invent 👉🏼👌🏼 as a gesture meaning sex. do you live under a rock #3) nonspeaking episodes are a recurring thing in my life and have been since i was born. this is not a quirky one-time thing #it is a pervasive issue that is very frustrating to both myself and the people i am trying to communicate with. in which trying to speak is #extremely distressing and causes very genuine anguish. this post is not me making light of it it's just a funny thing that happened once #it's no different than if i post about a funny thing that happened in conjunction w a physical disability. it's just me talking abt my life #i don't mind character tags tho. those can be entertaining. i don't know what any of you are talking about #Except the ppl who have said this is pego/ryu or wang/xian. those people i understand and respect #if you use it as a writing prompt that's fine but send it to me. i want to see it #aaaand i think that's it. everyday im tempted to turn off rbs on it. it hasn't even been a week

[nouverx]

"I want to eat you" is their love language and you can't change my mind

#hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel fanart #hazbin alastor #hazbin rosie #radiorose #alastor #my art #autodesk sketchbook #they are so freaky they must have so many fucked up conversations like that I just know it #it's their weird way of “flirting” yk what I mean #I headcanon that Alastor HATES burgers and fast food in general ik it's very specific #my artstyle is so inconsistent ahah I'm experimenting don't mind me

[spyglassrealms]

had a fucking hilarious dream that tumblr replaced the "block" function with the far funnier "glock" function, which did the exact same thing except whenever anyone blocked you a random bullet hole, like a png of a bullet hole, would appear on your blog. discourse blogs were unreadable bc you'd go to the page and the sheer amount of bullet hole pngs stacked over the blogs obscured everything. I woke myself up laughing

#normally I don't chronicle my dreams here but fucking hell that one was funny #I think this would genuinely make tumblr better tbh #@ staff do this cowards #spy has thoughts #my life is a sitcom and i am my own laugh track #functional website #spy's smash hits #Glock function #edit for everyone in the notes saying 'everyone clapped' #I know I can't prove to you that it happened for real you're just gonna have to trust me on this #but I swear on my goddamn life I'm not making this up #I make so many conscious puns that sometimes my subconscious cooks up a real good one

[shopcat]

the baby has one parent's little face marking thing and the other's coat because they're a little horse family the world is a beautiful place

#☆ #might become really obsessed with horses i'm not sure yet #maybe specifically mustangs and other feral horses... They intrigue me deeply #update i've been informed the thing is called a blaze but i just described it instead in the alt text bc i think clarity matters more than #erm. specificity?? #also sorry if i don't know what colour the horses are. someone tell me if u like i like this stuff #🐯 #domestic horse (equus ferus caballus) #equid #juvenile #top

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

#almost wrote the champagne line as ''effervescent'' but legit could not write it without saying ''effervescent like a snail'' #ah tumblr... #writeblr #warm up #idk . having trouble writing rn #ps i don't like to talk about it . it is my medical information. but before you ask. yes this is about being on the spectrum #i really don't like when ppl make my writing about how im [whatever ID]. i want it to ring true for the people who it rings true for #i don't want it to be like ''awwwww look at this person!!! she's the EXCEPTION!!! :)" ..... #no.... not really..... #idk something gross happens whenever i admit to certain conditions and i turn into like inspiration p*rnography #like yes they actually let us use keyboards these days #furthermore i just... dont feel comfortable talking about this part of me. i had too bad of a childhood. adhd is one thing... #this one im like. still coming to terms with. which is like. my own journey. #idk. just please be kind. some things are more private than others. this one feels private to me. #i do not know how to help others w/this . and i do not know how to help myself. i will talk about it if im ever ready. idk if that will #actually ever happen #ty in advance i love u im kissing you we are kissing somewhere on the spectrum

[blinkpen]

(i Will go back to everlasting haitus if that GFM slows down too much btw, seeing it to its goal ASAP is my primary focus right now)

#i don't want to move the goalposts but i don't want donations to slow to a crawl just bc they are Halfway there #they obviously do still need to get ALL the way there to get the whole family out + get medical care they need #and they need it -quickly- and i -know- we -can- but it requires people besides me! #please help me help them

[kozzax]

It's times like these, when Grian refers to snails as molluscs and gastropods, that I remember he has a degree in marine biology. In retrospect this makes the fishing arc funnier I think.

#me vibing #hermitcraft #grian #not that people outside marine bio don't know snails are molluscs #it's just. not the world's most common knowledge i feel like #so it unlocked the 'hermit real world achievements' memory file in my brain

[leupagus]

It's really fucked up when you treat characters like people and people like characters.

#this is about fandom but also just generally #I'm seeing a lot of this lately and I don't quite know how to talk about it yet #but man it's bumming me out

[lazylittledragon]

domesticating your vampire: a memoir

(beautiful high res version on patre0n)

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #astarion #tavstarion #KARLACH #i nearly forgot her #when you just escaped vampire slavery but now you have to save for a down payment #i can't stress how important it is to me that astarion has a birthday #i don't know why #also sex is fine but have you ever had someone wash your hair for you. there is nothing more intimate #i'm devastated that i had to desaturate the polaroid because the lighting was so pretty

[artkaninchenbau]

A h-heartfelt reunion..?

Bonus

#Sir Crocodile #Monkey D Dragon #Emporio Ivankov #Dragodile #Crocodad #My art #One Piece #We're not gonna talk about the work I should be doing rn I have Severe Procrastinitis and I'm doing my best okay #Alternative version where it was both Crocodile and Garp beating Dragon's ass before Iva-chan joined in but that was too much effort lmao #I'm a believer in Dragon being a Wind Logia so don't worry guys he is 100% taking this beating intentionally #He knows what he did and he's dealing with the concequences of his actions. With grace. #You know I realize Iva-chan should be two whole meters taller than Crocodile but we're just gonna ignore that #Look Iva-chan taking Crocodile's side and being like ''Crocoboy is right you fucked up bad Dragon'' brings me joy #And for real I've been wanting to draw this for months. But never did because I had other shit to do. Which I still do #But. You know. Sometimes you need to draw a shitpost. It's ✨ self-care ✨ #And appearently One Piece shitpost comics have become the thing I draw for myself on occassion