#these takes are only bad when entirely genuine btw. like will i say roman did nothing wrong? yes. do i actually think that? fuck no

[brookheimer]

preparing

okay this is what i have so far -- anything i forgot (and what should i replace w it)???

#literally was not kidding. this is going to be a game for me #like i'm going to be fighting for my life in the roman trenches but it will be fucking HILARIOUS #roman roy #succession #these takes are only bad when entirely genuine btw. like will i say roman did nothing wrong? yes. do i actually think that? fuck no #but will it be true in my heart of hearts of hearts ? yes. just as jimmy mcgill did nothing wrong. just as vriska did nothing wrong #LMAO #100 #lolol did not mean for this to get notes fr. literally just the prototype version

[limetameta]

I genuinely want you to answer all of the weirdly specific questions for writers 👀

I am waiting for eggs to boil so I went and answered them. :)

1. What font do you write in? Do you actually care or is that just the default setting?

Times New Roman 12 babyy

2. If you had to give up your keyboard and write your stories exclusively by hand, could you do it? If you already write everything by hand, a) are you a wizard and b) pen or pencil?

I would just never write anything ever again and would instead evaporate

3. What is your writing ritual and why is it cursed?

I write crosslegged so I had to dismantle an expensive gaming chair that I bought to treat myself because I had never owned one and was so guilty about buying it only to find out that I cannot sit comfortably (ie neurodivergent like) so I just never sat in it and didnt write anything in ages and felt so bad abt it and tried sitting in so many weird (ie normal neurotypical) positions on that chair but nothing was working. Until one day bestie just asked me if I can take the arm rests off. I did so the same day and binge wrote 20k.

4. What’s a word that makes you go absolutely feral?

Rompar. It used to be roly poly but now its rompar.

5. Do you have any writing superstitions? What are they and why are they 100% true?

Never keep the story in one google doc, you will be overwhelmed. Have a doc for each chapter and then you will finish it lmao.

6. What is your darkest fear about writing?

That I suck ass and that the people who say I write well are lying to me.

7. What is your deepest joy about writing?

Seeing how other people build off of my writing and them trying to give me theories about what they think is coming next :D

8. If you had to write an entire story without either action or dialogue, which would you choose and how would it go?

Without action. I can write a whole fic just with dialogue no problem.

9. Do you believe in ghosts? This isn’t about writing I just wanna know

Grandma, if you see this I hope you smite my enemies

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Means that paragraph that haunts me either fucks or sucks so bad I need to change it. I am haunted by my first ever published fanfiction from 2012. It is gone for a reason.

11. Do you believe in the old advice to “kill your darlings?” Are you a ruthless darling assassin? What happens to the darlings you murder? Do you have a darling graveyard? Do you grieve?

Kid me used to delete that shit mercilessly and now I rue not having access to some of those darlings. I have a doc that I keep with all the darlings for a specific fic.

12. If a genie offered you three writing wishes, what would they be? Btw if you wish for more wishes the genie turns all your current WIPs into Lorem Ipsum, I don’t make the rules

Lorem Ipsum my beloved this takes me back.

Wish 1) I never have to use google translate again. The word I am looking for appears to me in the language I want it to appear in so I dont need to scour bosanski -> english google translate.

Wish 2) I look like an eldritch horror when you see me out of the corner of your eye but when you see me normally i look like me :)

Wish 3) I wish to free the genie

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

What you see me write is easy. What you dont see is hard.

14. Do you lend your books to people? Are people scared to borrow books from you? Do you know exactly where all your “lost” books are and which specific friend from school you haven’t seen in twelve years still possesses them? Will you ever get them back?

I give people books that I am done with. Never lend. I feel like a beggar trying to get them back after and thats not smth i need.

15. Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

I am scared to write in books because growing up i never owned books i only had library books.

16. What’s the weirdest thing you’ve ever used as a bookmark?

Dead bug.

17. Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

Can somebody send me a message what they want here like narrow it down

18. Choose a passage from your writing. Tell me about the backstory of this moment. How you came up with it, how it changed from start to end. Spicy addition: Questioner provides the passage.

Send me passages

19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?

I started writing in English in 2009. Published my first fic online in 2012. I am on a proverbial horse right now, my writing is so rad when compared to even last year s writing. "Svakoga dana u svakom pogledu sve više napredujem ." XD

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

I would chose love. I know I can do the writing thing lmao. My love life is unlucky insofar.

21. Could you ever quit writing? Do you ever wish you could? Why or why not?

I wish Id quit writing fanfic. But I keep getting sucked into fandoms. I most likely will try my hardest to stop writing fanfic once I fully complete the MCU.

22. How organized are you with your writing? Describe to me your organization method, if it exists. What tools do you use? Notebooks? Binders? Apps? The Cloud?

I am skipping this because dear god it is a mess.

23. Describe the physical environment in which you write. Be as detailed as possible. Tell me what’s around you as you work. Paint me a picture.

I think I did answer this one somewhere u can check it out if u go in the #ask tag and scroll

24. How much prep work do you put into your stories? What does that look like for you? Do you enjoy this part or do you just want to get on with it?

I want to kill Maes Hughes but every single scene with him having fun with Kimblee and co is important because it is making you fall in love with him as a character and making him into a real and lived char in this au. His death has to hurt and not be abrupt like in FMAB. Fma03 did this better u had more Maes scenes.

25. What is a weird, hyper-specific detail you know about one of your characters that is completely irrelevant to the story?

Pinako and Van used to grow weed.

26. How do you get into your character’s head? How do you get out? Do you ever regret going in there in the first place?

I dont know man I just do my thing and ask myself what would Solf J Kimblee do and then I write

27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Tom Riddle. I meann

28. Who is the most delightful character you’ve ever written? Why?

Dr Morsels is honestly turning into my favourite fandom oc lmao

29. Where do you draw your inspiration? What do you do when the inspiration well runs dry?

My muse is Slenderman. I write Slenderman and all the words come back.

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

I remember my dreams in the first like hour after I wake up. But I did get some really good ideas in my dreams so I will implement them.

31. Write a short love letter to your readers.

I love you. :) If you dont tell me you love me back I will die like a plant. <3

32. What is a line from a poem/novel/fanfic etc that you return to from time and time again? How did you find it? What does it mean to you?

I dont return to anything lmao I am in academia and therefore disallowed from feeling art and reliving it.

33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

Entirely seperate. I dance.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

Good comma. 10/10.

35. What’s your favorite writing rule to smash into smithereens?

The way I just write sentences goes against all rules apparently. Bestie, native english writer, used to have an anyeurism until they found out that this is just how I write sentences and that I just will not change. They can explain better than I can.

36. They say to Write What You Know. Setting aside for a moment the fact that this is terrible advice...what do you Know?

:) I am a part of the leisure mafia so I know all about that field.

37. If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

This person was so poor that they never went to therapy, huh?

38. What is something about your writing process YOU think is Really Weird? If you are comfortable, please share. If you’re not comfortable, what do you think cats say about us?

Cats love us. :)

39. What keeps you writing when you feel like giving up?

Each day that I write I get better at it. Each day I get better at it I am leagues better than my sworn arch nemesis.

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

https://fleursdumal.org/poem/126

#ask

[is-that-another-soulmate-au]

Alright let's try this Soulmate body switch AU I'm also attempting this whole "make a tag" thing... bare with me, ive only actually used this app for like 4 days now im gonna go with "RayMakesSoulmates" for now... uhm, idk what else to go with uhhhhh yeah, names Ray btw...

Okay here we go. The idea of switching bodies is something a bit strange to me so let me make this work for me.

Basically it happens once a year after you either turn 17 or meet your soulmate. If its the latter then there has to be alot of turmoil and confusion on one side to trigger the first switch because it does not happen at the first encounter. However after the first encounter you'll sometimes have little blurry dreams that are in fact core memories of your soulmate. But theyre always too blurry to point out who's involved and sounds are too muffled to pin point any specific noises words or what have you.

Now, the dreams don't happen every night but they happen often enough that you are made aware that you have met your soulmate at some point recently.

So after Zuko visits the south and they begin their cat and mouse game around the world Zuko often has blurry dreams of white with black falling what he thinks is people screaming and what he knows is muffled crying. While Sokka has random dreams of what he thinks is someone moving away into the darkness and someone screaming out to them but he can't figure out what they're saying. Another dream he has is a blurry glow of bright blue and crying. There's also one that shows up more often than the other two, its when he sees what he believes is someone moving towards him saying something, but its muffled, then a bright light and muffled screaming and crying.

However after Ba Sing Se Sokka has a dream that's clear and vivid, not muffled and not blurry. After he takes a moment from shooting up to a sitting position he realizes that this is not a dream, he's switched bodies. Standing up and moving the blankets off of him he looks around and sees the there are fire nation items everywhere, it looks like he's in a royal bedroom. He elects to keep calm as he moves towards where he thinks is a bathroom, he is correct and when he looks into the mirror he freezes. His heart drops into his stomach. Sokka can hardly believe what he's looking at. Staring back at him is not his face, but Zuko's. He reaches up to touch the scar on Zuko's face. While yes he has control over his body and he doesn't exactly know how to act 'firenation' let alone 'fire nation royalty' he stands straight. "This won't last longer than 3 hours." He reminds himself

"What won't last longer than three hours?" Azula's voice breaks through

Instantly on edge and irritated Sokka- ahem Zuko turns to Azula "what do you want Azula?" He says in a voice thats much less irritated, theyre siblings right? So they have to be chummy right

"Oo! You sound so much less angry!" She muses "disgusting, anyways, Mai wanted me to let you know she's leaving today"

Why would he care about that? Oh they must be friends? Maybe they're dating? Okay, don't screw this up "uh, okay"

"Aw don't be so sad Zuzu~ you two would have never worked out anyways, her and Ty Lee switched bodies just three days ago. It was honestly was kind of amusing watching her string you along" This is not how siblings normally talk to eachother. He just glared at Azula "alright alright sheesh, ill leave you alone" he found something to write on and quickly jotted down the conversation because if he was given that information Zuko would need it.

Meanwhile Zuko shot awake and found himself lying next to appa Katara and Aang, so he is alive huh? Confused he figured he must be dreaming until he realized his vision was clear and nothing was muffled. He was below deck on a fire nation ship. He paused a moment before he stood and noticed Sokka's boomerang beside him. He lifed it and saw Sokka in the reflection. His reaction seemed to mirror(haha get it) Sokka's when he saw Zuko in the mirror. But he dropped the boomerang and it made a loud bang which woke the other two up "Sokka what are you doing, the sun is barely up"

He paused and cleared his throat. Okay, sure he's been chasing them he needs to not blow this "uh, sorry, nightmare"

Katara shifted and turned to him, a genuine look of worry in her eyes "do you want to talk about it?" She asked in a tone that reminded him of his mother. Genuine love.

He forced himself not to tear up at the memory and just shook his head "no, I honestly can't remember it. Just scared me is all" the hesitation in Katara's expression before she responded was strange to him

"Alright, if you say so, do you mind going and asking dad to change the course? We need to stop and get supplies"

His hesitation and expression probably made her realize what happened "okay, youre not Sokka right now are you?" He froze and nodded slowly "alright, you dont have to tell me who you are, but I'll help you through the motions, Aang and I switched back in Ba Sing Se, that was the day when you questioned why I said I'd fly around, er- or that was when Sokka questioned me" okay she was a little more accepting of this than he thought.

"Uhm, okay, yeah, right, uhm, I don't want to blow this so can you just uh show me around? I'm sure Sokka knows all the people he's- oh agni he's gonna meet my dad" zuko internally cringed.

In that moment it seemed to click with Katara "alright, so you're telling me your Zuko"

Zuko flinched and backed up against the wall "look I dont know what you want me to do about this, but I promise you that I'm not going to ruin anything, I know I messed up, hell Sokka's probably noticing that my family doesn't work like yours does. I've been so confused my whole life okay, I'm sorry I betrayed you in Ba Sing Se, my sister has a way of manipulating me. I just hope he doesn't get hurt, he probably doesn't know he needs to keep his mouth shut in my family." Zuko was panicking when Katara reached out

"Zuko, zuko what do you mean?" Her voice shaky

"Look I cant tell you everything, I cant tell you my life story not right now, I need to get through with this. If we meet again, which I hope we do, ill tell you then. But right now, please just show me what Sokka goes through day to day. I know he's not gonna like what happens on the other end, I just hope it doesn't go too bad."

Katara nodded "alright well. Let me walk you around and let you learn the peoples names, ill just say hi to them and say their names." She paused "but first, tell me about your mother, i dont know if I believe it anymore"

He sighed before telling her the entire story.

Meanwhile at the palace Sokka was sitting in a war meeting knowing to keep his mouth shut unless spoken to. He didnt want to set people off or let them know he wasn't actually Zuko. The topic of the earth kingdome came up and Ozai turned to him "Zuko, you've spent time among the Earth kingdom citizens. What information do you have?"

"Uh, the Earth kingdoms citizens are strong willed and hopeful, as long as they have hope they will not yeild"

"Hmmm, I see, we need to crush their hope"

"Well, thats not what I-"

"I think we should take their precious hope and burn it to the ground!" Azula cuts in

"Yes, yes good idea Azula" Oh no

About an hour after the meeting the switch flipped, Sokka made notes about everything that he found important in time before the switch was over.

After they switched back Sokka found his sister and grabbed her shoulders "Katara, I have to tell you something, I just got back from a body swit-"

"And your soulmate is Zuko? I know, he cried when I was nice to him, what happened on your end?"

"Well, his whole family is mean to him"

"Figured"

"I was in a war meeting and found out their plan for the comet"

After relaying the information he found they discussed it with Aang.

Let's skip ahead to after the failed invasion and to the air temple when Zuko shows up.

"Hello, Zuko here"

No fighting it in this one

"Get your jerk bender butt over here" Katara and Sokka said practically in unison.

>im gonna wrap it up here. And yes Katara would notice its not Sokka and would totally pick up on Zuko, she's observant

>and no Azula wouldn't notice at all because she's used to Zuko being stand offish with her. Plus Sokka is so much better at impersonations than Zuko

@chaoticidiott @roman-does-nothing @bisexuallsokka @transzukostanblog

I dont know if I did this AU justice, I tried.

#RayMakesSoulmates #atla sokka #prince zuko #sokka #sokka x zuko #zukka #zuko #avatar the last airbender #so gay #omg #tw: caps

[ducavalentinos]

Bellonci clearly had a nasty and evident hostility towards Cesare and throughout her book there are several moments of her bringing him up only to badmouth him, but this page here, that is right at the beginning, I thought it was the most interesting because is kind of an intro to how she will be presenting Cesare, and it sets up the stage for the bad fratricide telenovela she explores later on. Her claims here doesn’t escape the pattern too much of other works when dealing with Cesare, but that’s also why this page is so interesting, because it’s a good example of how many so-called “facts” about him and his life are only presented as such because they were repeated over and over again, and not because there is any substantial documented evidence behind it. So, she starts by saying: “No one could have had less vocation for the religious life than Cesare Borgia, and he was the first to admit it.” This claim is always present in most Borgia works, but it ends up being misleading because what Bellonci and other scholars considers as having the vocation for the religious life wasn’t much of a thing during Cesare’s time, not on his circle at least, at the Vatican. Having piety didn’t mattered as much as having diplomatic skills, political intelligence and the right connections. These men’s families, wealthy and noble in most cases, put them there to secure and support their interests within the Church. It was to guarantee themselves on both fronts, secular and ecclesiastical, to maintain their power and riches. That actually makes Cesare Borgia the rule and not the exception of the rule.

As for his admittance of his “lack of vocation” it can’t be seen as some definitive proof as Bellonci intends here, because whether he was being genuine or not (we will never know) we can’t ignore the political background of his “admittance”, that being: Rodrigo needed someone he trusted to accomplish his design of: 1. bringing the papal states under the full authority of the Church, and to destroy the Roman barons who were a constant source of trouble for the papacy and the city itself, and 2. to carve out a State for his family like other nobles italian families had done over the centuries. So Cesare’s speech had a very specific and difficult goal to achieve: to convince the cardinals and get the necessary votes so he could resign his cardinalate. It would be naïve to think that this speech, one in which their family’s advancement depended on, wouldn’t have been meticulously prepared by Cesare, alongside others, and with the supervision and approval of Rodrigo beforehand. And there is a some debate and assertions that Cesare forced his father into releasing him from his cardinalate, but there is no evidence for this. If anything Cesare seemed unsure, or at very least cautious about leaving his ecclesiastical life which brought him immense wealth and security, for a secular life where everything was yet to be determined. In any case, his feelings over this would have hardly mattered, the final decision about the family’s matters always came from Rodrigo. To think that Cesare had a voice, a “dark influence” over Rodrigo about these things is to underestimate the power and character of Rodrigo Borgia. He was a loving and generous father, but for that he expected nothing less than full obedience from his children, and he did not liked being contradicted. Cesare didn’t had a voice in these things anymore that Lucrezia, Juan or Gioffre did. If Rodrigo wanted him to stay a cardinal, then he would have stayed a cardinal, if Rodrigo wanted him to leave his cardinalate, then he would leave, whatever benefited their house better. “But after the collapse of the marriage negotiations with King Ferrante of Aragon, his hopes of escaping from the ecclesiastical life evaporated and it looked as if he was prepared to accept the career that his father had planned for him.” Cesare never accepted the career his father planned for him, and that he wanted to escape his ecclesiastic life, but are there any grounds for these claims? In all his years in the Church, there is not one recorded instance of Cesare showing an overwhelmingly distaste or any rebellion towards the career Rodrigo chose for him. And there is nothing, not even anecdotes hinting that he was trying to “escape it.” Taking a look at the administrative and pastoral activity that his vicars developed in their dioceses, demonstrates Cesare exercised his role dutifully and responsibly, and with interest. There is evidence of this intense management from the man he appointed for the headquarters of Pamplona, Martín Zapata. And from Jaume Conill’s pastoral work in the archbishopric of Valencia. There’s even a report from Conill to Cesare from August of 1494 in which he updates Cesare on the increase of confessions and rejoices at the shortage of victims due to the plague. Moreover Cesare wasn’t exactly as faithless as some authors like to claim he was, he had piety. It wasn’t a fervent, fanatical, blind piety, because it didn’t seem to be a trait in his family, from his father to his sister, they all had a pretty interesting and particular relationship with religion, but there’s more than one example where we can see religion was a part of his life also (another topic that needs exploring and maybe I’ll do it later), so there is nothing serious indicating that the ecclesiastical life was so alien, so dreadful for Cesare as that he sought to escape it, as it is assumed by Bellonci and others. Then she says: “What mattered to him most in any career was to avoid servility and mediocrity and to direct his energy towards the immediate acquistion of some position of authority.” I love this bit because I love how she mixes shady, groundless claims along with claims that do have more ground of being true. It’s true that Cesare always seemed to have tried to avoid mediocrity, although that wasn’t exclusive to him, the upbringing of noble children didn’t exactly leave room for mediocrity, it didn’t for Rodrigo Borgia’s children, he gave them the best education money could buy, and I don’t think he would have been satisfied with anything less than excellence from them, which in retrospect could be another reason why his relationship with Joffre wasn’t the same as his relatioship with Lucrezia, Cesare and Juan. As for avoiding servility, it’s actually difficult to ascertain. He doesn’t come across as someone who had an excessive willingness to please others (I don’t think that’s a bad thing btw lol), and maybe he did avoid it. But there’s some evidence that indicates he did enjoyed pleasing others, when possible, esp. those he appreciated it, just not at his and his family’s expense, which wasn’t that different a behavior from the rest of his family. He was generous and overall he seemed to liked being useful to people and to help solve problems. And the acquistion of some position of authority, it’s kinda of strange that Bellonci seemed to think that’s where he directed his energy towards, given that by 1492 right after his father became pope, if we judge by his letter to Piero de’ Medici, Cesare already had a pretty high position of authority, and he was perfectly aware of it. I mean after Rodrigo himself, Cesare was the one who had the most authority to deal any political affairs. Rodrigo trusted and relied on him, he was constantly by father’s side so he was privy to matters few others or no one else was. What Cesare seems to have directed his energy towards was trying to secure himself and his family’s power as much as he could so that when Rodrigo died, he wouldn’t be in a poor situation having to rely on others. It’s an entirely subjective point, we will never know what truly were his plans and feelings, but he doesn’t come across as someone wanting authority for the sake of wanting to have authority over others, nor does he seemed to have wanted power simply because he was power-hungry or something, but because he was painfully aware that all of his wealth and privileges were tied to his father, that power was essential for his survival and well-being, and that it was his responsibility (just as once it had been Rodrigo’s) to advance his family’s glory and perpetuate the legacy of the house of Borja. “Cesare was well aware of the gulf between his aspirations and reality and he had learnt the art of dissumulation. From infancy he had been destined to follow a career to which he knew he was unsuited, just as he knew Juan was ill-suited to his destined career of arms.” Bellonci is going on the premise that there was such a gulf between Cesare’s aspirations and his reality, when honestly there really wasn’t. This is a fabricated notion that comes from a modern perspective that men of the Church are men who are only fit for matters of spirituality, but as I said above, that doesn’t correspond with the reality, not even today, and definitely not in Cesare’s times. Men of the Church were first and foremost politicians and they acted both on spiritual matters as well as secular ones, even commanding armies and going full-on warriors if it was necessary. Bertrand du Pouget is a good example, also Ippolito d’Este, pope Leo IX, pope Clement VII, although he’s seen more as an anti-pope, and of course Della Rovere. Except for marriage, a churchman could do pretty much anything a layman could. Cesare surely knew that, so he wouldn't necessarily have felt this “gulf” between his reality and his aspirations, whatever those might have been, as it is claimed. His “warrior” side could be accommodated just fine within his ecclesiastic role. As for him learning the art of dissimulation, of course he did, as did Lucrezia and Rodrigo. It would a mistake to think they wore their hearts on their sleeves in public. If we’re being honest, any noble that wanted to survive the court they lived in needed a goal deal of dissimulation to go about with their lives. Cesare was no different than any of them on that. And finally, Bellonci has no way of knowing that Cesare from infancy knew he was unsuited for the career Rodrigo chosed for him, much less what he thought about Juan and his career. Bellonci is mostly projecting her own beliefs onto Cesare here and presenting it as a fact. His so-called unsuitablessness is unsubstantiated, apart from him sharing the same small vices his fellow cardinals did, as Alvisi amusingly says here: “Nè gli mancavano i piccoli vizi de’ giovani cardinali, e con loro fuggiva dalla mensa papale cui era convidato, perché vi era servita una sola vivanda. /Nor did he lack the small vices of the young cardinals, and with them he fled the papal table to which he was invited, because only one meal was served there.” And him apparently prefering to dress more as a layman than in his cardinal robes—which could have been for any number of reasons honestly, maybe he didn't liked it, yes, but also maybe it was just because they were more comfortable? esp. during the summer? and drew less attention to him? it's just a big leap to use his apparent dislike for ecclesiastical clothing as proof he hated being a churchman lol—there is surprisingly no scandals, nor accusations of bad behavior during these years of his life. Surely if he was so ill-suited, we would have at least one anecdote like the one about Rodrigo when he was still a cardinal at Siena? There is nothing of the kind. These claims come from a hindsighted stance of events, and it just serves to build up a motivation for the crime that is about to happen, without motivation, you can’t accuse Cesare as the culprit of Juan’s murder, and this personal drama is easier to sell than the simple jealousy over Sancia d’Aragona. “And so, twenty years earlier than most men, he had had to face the reality of a solitary existence, and he experienced either burning ambition or icy pessimism. His rancour doubtless played a large part in alienating him from the rest of the world, and he passed his complicated youth in that silence which is the first and last refuge of the frustrated. His sensitiveness got twisted into cruelty and made him monstrously lucid, he understood his father’s weakness, but the second-sight by which he infallibly got his own way was diabolical.” Beautiful writing, one that is meant to convince the reader he/she has a grasped the soul and mind of Cesare Borgia. But then again, as most of this paragraph, it’s all just literary without any substance. Reading Bellonci I wondered many times if she had a time machine or the Borgia family’s secret journal, because she speaks as if she were there with them, and they confessed all of their feelings and private thoughts to her. This is fiction.  She is implying that his solitary existence came from the fact that his reality was at odds with his desires, when there’s no proof to suggest that was the case, and that he was kind of a lone wolf? and that’s just blatantly incorrect. Maybe we can guess he might have felt lonely sometimes in a way that people with a high intellect, people who are ahead of their time usually does because it’s difficult to find other like-minded people, but he was and remained very close to his family and some friends until the end of his life, he was far from being a solitary man. He must have experienced “icy” pessimism and burning ambition just like any human being, but it certainly wasn’t his only two emotions, and very likely had nothing to do with Juan and his own career, and more with his family’s enemies and the political scenarios he was a part of. Was it really his rancour that alienated him from the world or was that the world he lived in so hostile to him and his family that they alienated themselves in order to feel safe? Hmmmm. And I’m sorry but, throwing complicated youth and Cesare Borgia in the same sentence is simply absurd. Are we talking about the same Cesare Borgia? The handsome, incredibly rich young man? Whom his contemporaries had to admit was charming, cheerful, polite and graceful? The one that when he wasn’t studying or working hard, we see him having fun with his Spaniard buddies, have love affairs, hunting, finding any excuse for dancing and bull-fighting, basically enjoying life wherever he could, this Cesare Borgia? Give me a break, I wish my youth was as complicated as his djsdjsds. The image of this dark, sulking, frustrated man, full of bitterness is very much a product of fiction, and totally incompatible with the reports written about him. As for “his sensitiveness” that got twisted “into cruelty”, i find it irking when scholars throw these words out there and don’t bother pointing out exactly what they are referring to. Borgia scholars are always talking about Cesare’s cruelty, his alleged “mean-streak”, but they don’t give any examples. If you are going to say a person is cruel, then I, at the very least, expect you follow that by an event where their cruelty is revealed. Explain your thought process, that’s all I’m asking. What are the pieces of evidence that revels Cesare’s sensitivity? and what are the pieces of evidence that revels Cesare’s cruelty? Otherwise it’s impossible to know what you mean and I’m not going to take your assessment of this person’s character seriously. Now I understand that when scholars speak of Cesare’s sensitivity, they are usually referring to his reaction towards the men responsible for the libels slandering him and his family, and although it would be understandable for him to feel outraged, I think it’s a mistake to link Cesare’s punishment of those men with his inability to take insults as Rodrigo says to the Venetian ambassador. If Cesare really was so sensitive about insults against him and his family, wouldn’t we have a long list of his victims that died simply for the deed of having offended him? which remarkably we don’t. That implies that Cesare could take insults, but when these insults were tied up with politics, he acted. The men spreading these libels, the Savelli letter being the main one, weren’t doing so to entertain the people of Rome and Italy. It wasn’t just titillating gossip. It was a clever and effective political propaganda made by Rodrigo and Cesare’s enemies to “kill” their reputation since they couldn’t, at that moment, literally kill them. It was meant to overshadow any and all positive policies their governments were doing, and put public opinion against them. Cesare understood what his father couldn’t, and he rightly tried to contain it somehow, which brings me to these men’s punishment and how it’s the only documented example I can think of that would fit the general definition of cruelty, and even so, it’s not a great one. There’s an anecdote about Cesare shooting bandits from his balcony at the Vatican with Lucrezia by his side that imo, would fit better the definition of “wanton cruelty” and having a “mean-streak”, but the authenticity of this story can't be verified, and it seems to have been just slander. Although it is odd Lucrezia’s biographers never mention this in their works, given that they don’t seem to mind authenticity when it comes to Cesare, and it would provide them with the best example for Cesare’s cruelty they go on so much about. I wonder why that is.  But when Bellonci wrote this sentence, she is aiming to conclude both her presentation of Cesare and why he murdered Juan. The whole point of this page she wrote was to create the right environment for the fratricide act. Cesare’s sensitivity made him incapable of dealing with his feelings of anger and frustration over his life, and that manifested into cruelty, that here is tied to the murder of his brother along with other crimes she uncritically pins on him, which turned him into a monster and only then he had the lucity to see what it had to be done since his father was too weak when it came to Juan. If he were to get his way, then he would have to commit a diabolical act. But apart from what I already wrote on why all the claims about Cesare’s being unsuited for this career, how he hated it and envied Juan are baseless, there’s another hole in this narrative, Rodrigo Borgia’s own decisions about Juan. They’re ambiguous af, and I think his plans weren’t always so set in stone as it is sometimes imagined, he was a shrewd, pragmatic man, so he probably changed his plans according to the political scenarios around him, and the benefits it would bring to his family and the papacy. Yes, he appointed Juan as Gonfalonier and Captain General of the Church, and invested many benefices upon him, but he also married Juan to Spain, and after the fiasco with the Orsinis (which to be fair, wasn’t just Juan’s fault) it seems he was sending Juan back to Spain, and it really looks as if Rodrigo’s design was to secure the Borgia’s power in both his native country and Italy. Juan seemed to be the one ensured to make that happen in Spain, while in Italy, it was up to Cesare, Lucrezia and Gioffre. Considering all this definitely puts obstacles to Bellonci’s assertions, and it’s easy to see why she ignored it. “His solitude was his fortress, and he used his inhuman courage and self-sufficiency to serve his idolatry of power.” No, his family was his fortress, again he was not a lone wolf, he worked in sync with his father, his brothers and his sister, and he very much relied on them and on others. He was brave, but it was far from being inhuman, and I absolutely have no idea what Bellonci means with his self-sufficiency given that his whole life was depended on others, and he knew it too, and he tried to change that. And his idolatry of power, it’s another thing scholars like to claim about him, but Cesare’s fascination with power, if we can call it that, wasn’t all that different from other nobles, and it wasn’t such to say he worshipped it.  I have no idea where there came from, probably from bad interpretations of The Prince. It wasn’t a fascination of power for the sake of it. Having power at Cesare’ time and environment was tightly connected with your survival. If you were a person in a high position of power, maintaining that power was important if you wanted to keep breathing. If you lost it, you could die. Just like many spaniards did when Della Rovere became pope. The reason Cesare wasn’t among them is precisely because he had enough influence and power within the College of Cardinals to afford some protection. If he hadn’t cultivated that, if he hadn’t accumulated power in the Romagna, he would have been murdered not long after his father died, like it happened with the children of other popes. And I guess that finishes it. It’s a powerful page, but then again I do think that most Borgia authors are very talented when it comes to writing, and constructing narratives, but when you break it down phrase by phrase, weighting in the evidence that exists for such claims, 80% of the time you will come up empty handed, or with contradicting information. Many of the things said about them, esp. about their characters, it’s a historical construction, or authors’s personal interpretations of the material they studied, since much of the Borgia’s history (that was shaped by their enemies) is wrapped in mysteries and subjectivity. Bellonci’s biases are all over her work, and it’s the strongest I’ve read with so far with Borgia bios. She had a mentality of only being fair to those she sympathized with. She detested Cesare the most, so she didn’t cared about being fair to him, she accepted all sources and gossip said about him without any discernment. He is the embodiment of only bad traits and his actions only carries chaos and “dark unrest”, but also I do believe she believed most of what she wrote about him. It’s not difficult to see why. Cesare’s black legend, alongside the unfortunate Machiavellian prince image, that is usually attached to his name with its awful connotations are always looming in the back of people’s imagination, and it’s almost impossible not to carry these preconceived notions to his historical figure when writing about him I imagine, not that she tried lool, she didn’t. She seemed to have already made her judgment about Lucrezia, Rodrigo and Cesare even before she studied all the material about their lives. Her mission was to rescue Lucrezia from her horrible reputation at all costs, and put her on a pedestal, while dragging the Borgia men and anyone else she didn’t liked, and well, she did succeeded at that, at least to a general audience and some academics.

#cesare borgia #maria bellonci #house borgia in history #borgia thoughts #so here's 9 pages of thoughts about cesare absolutely no one asked for djsdjsdjsjdsjds #but i guess that's what tumblr is for right?! #it was fun writing it #i promised i will do bellonci's lucrezia next #<33

[abbyfreemansmind]

Let’s talk about Hazbin Hotel

So, I finally sat down and watched Hazbin Hotel. I’d heard so much about it and felt the need to launch myself headfirst into having my own opinions about it instead of just listening to other people talking about it. This is gonna be a long post, so I’m gonna put it behind a neat little read more. Please note that this is coming from someone who genuinely enjoys adult humour and edgy humour and themes. I’ve got no problem with something that’s all swearing and raunchy jokes. It just needs to be done right.

Point 1 - The Plot The plot is describes as the Princess of Hell trying to open a new hotel to rehabilitate sinners so they don’t get exterminated during the yearly heavenly extermination to deal with Hell’s overpopulation problems. This plot is quickly undone through a few things that anyone can notice during the first viewing. 1 - Overpopulation? WHAT population? The scenery is most often noticeably devoid of any signs of life, outside of when background characters are called for. The scene where Charlie’s doing her news presentation is the most notable example of background characters. After this scene, we see almost nobody outside of the main cast and those weird little egg things. There are a few throwaway demons but outside of that, the streets are devoid of people. There aren’t even the corpses we had just seen during that opening scene. 2 - Charlie may as well be a total nobody what with all the power being the Princess of Hell holds. Just look at how the other characters treat her. You’d think the Princess of Hell would have some kind of benefit that would sway people towards agreeing with this whole idea. Instead, she gets mocked by just about everyone for reasons I can only guess involve winning her sympathy points from the audience. 3 - At no point does she give any proof that redemption would work. She basically says, “Hey guys! I hate seeing you all die, so I have this idea that has no backing evidence, that may or may not work, to try and get you guys into Heaven! Let me sing a song about it where I insult you all!”

Point 2 - Presentation I applaud the animators. Must’ve been hard, especially for Charlie’s overly fast song that really didn’t need to be nightcored, or literally any time Angel Dust was on-screen. Frame by frame. No rigs. All those stripes. All those colours that blend if you stare at them too hard or squint even slightly while watching. All that unnecessarily constant movement. It’s no wonder the thing took four bloody years to animate. Outside of animation, there are too many unneeded details and not enough needed details. Seriously. 1 - The turf war. We didn’t need this. We didn’t need this at all. If you take out the entire opening to it and the entire actual fight scene here, the episode still flows smoothly and we get the same amount of information and worldbuilding. In a pilot/first episode, you should only give the audience necessary details. Leave them wanting more, yes, but make sure they actually know what they’re getting into from the first episode. Make every scene count. Make it mean something. Don’t just shove every detail you can think of together and call it a day, especially if you don’t actually give the audience much information from it. 2 - Why is Hell overpopulated? Why isn’t Heaven? Why can angels go from Heaven to Hell, but demons can’t go from Hell to Heaven? Why does nobody care about being redeemed if Hell is so overpopulated that Angels annually come down and kill people because of it? Why does everyone treat the Princess of Hell like she’s worthless? Why doesn’t Angel Dust know about Alastor if they got into hell within 10 years of each other? Where is this supposed overpopulation problem? Would redemption even work in the first place? Why should I care about most of these characters (who are mostly complete jerks with no redeeming qualities other than “PROTAGONIST”, especially when two of the fan favourites repeatedly sexually assault other characters and, in one case, is both sexist and racist at one point)? Why are there turf wars? I should not be having to ask these questions. Don’t hold the audience’s hand, but don’t leave every single question you present in the show unanswered. Some of the questions presented make absolute sense to leave unanswered. Why does Alastor want to help with the hotel? Why are characters like Vaggie and Niffty, who do nothing all that bad, in Hell? These are questions that make total sense to leave unanswered for now. 3 - What crime is too terrible to be redeemed for? Charlie seems to think that literally everyone can be redeemed. That means murderers, rapists, abusers, tormentors... Certainly her song holds some kind of key to figuring it out! “Inside of every creepy hatchet-wielding maniac” Hmm... Okay... “All of you cretins, sluts and losers, sexual deviants and boozers” Uh... “So, all your cartoon porn addictions, vegan rants, psychic predictions Ancient Roman crucifixions end right here All you monsters, thieves and crazies, cannibals and crying babies" Oh... Also, did she imply that mental illness, alcoholism, drug dependency, plant-based diets/lifestyles, rabies and enjoyment of sex were sins in that song?

Point 3 - Edgy for the sake of edgy Hazbin Hotel tries to be an adult cartoon, but comes off as something a mentally disturbed teenager wrote during their emo/scene phase. 1 - The swearing and sex jokes. Oh boy. I’ve worked with children under the age of 15 who swear and crack sex jokes better than the adults in this show. The swearing and sex jokes are the only reasons this show couldn’t be aired as a Cartoon Network show aimed at edgy teenagers. It’s so poorly done that it in and of itself takes away from the quality of the show itself. Also, we have a character who’s name is an actual sex joke itself. Vaggie, full name Vagatha - a lesbian sex worker, of course. Fun fact for those who don’t know, but all of her previous character drafts had her name as some form of joke on the word vagina. This isn’t an accident, this is blatant and intentional. Also, here’s a pro tip for you! You can make an adult-oriented show without having swearing, slurs and sex jokes taking up a solid third or more of your script. 2 - The... “Representation”. Yes, Hazbin Hotel has LGBT+ characters! Yes, it has biracial and Latina characters! Charlie is bi, Vaggie is a Latina lesbian, Angel Dust is a gay man, Alastor is ace and biracial, Husk is pan, Niffty is Japanese (YIKES). Except none of it actually matters. No, really. Vivziepop was all like, “btw you can ship w/e, idc! also, i rlly like the fanon version of human alastor (who is whiter than marshmallow fluff even though he’s supposed to be half black)! :)” and threw all that out the window because... Who knows at this point. Now, if you look at the connected series, Helluva Boss, you get Moxie and Millie - an extremely obvious and loving couple. In Hazbin Hotel, you get Charlie and Vaggie who you probably couldn’t tell were a couple without somebody telling you that in the first place, what with all the loveydovey-ness going on with them. In fact, the biggest hint we even get is literally one line. “Life ain’t a musical, hun.” But then again, I’d be more apt to believe Charlie and Vaggie are friends, or Vaggie is pining after Charlie. Also, Charlie is a really bad girlfriend! She lets Vaggie get abused by practically the entire cast without so much as a single word in her defense and ignores everything Vaggie says. It came as no surprise when I remembered hearing about how the only reason these two are a couple is because one of the people on the team thought they were during storyboarding and Vivziepop just went with it. Also, fun fact, Vaggie fits both the angry lesbian and fiery Latina stereotypes. Charlie fits the stereotype for the bisexual cheater, what with how she seems to actually like Alastor more than her own bloody girlfriend. Alastor is canonically ace because he’s too full of himself to be with anyone else. Speaking as somebody who’s ace... WHAT?! As much as I don’t like Charlastor, it’s partially more popular than Chaggie because Vivziepop actually made them act like a couple for an entire musical number. Also, he’s annoying. He not only kept telling Vaggie to smile (heck you dude), he also smacked her butt, which is a form of sexual assault, people. This was all played for laughs, along with Vaggie’s (actually very reasonable) anger. Niffty is Japanese. A yellow-skinned demon who’s boy crazy and obsessed with cleaning... Big yikes. Finally, Angel Dust. The kinky gay man porn star/drag queen/drug addict/prostitute who verbally sexually assaulted two guys. Where do I begin. When it came to this guy, Vivziepop must’ve been like, “Imma throw every stereotype for gay men on this guy and call it a character!” If you look a Helluva Boss again, you get Stolas, who verbally sexually assaults Blitzo over the phone and also cheated on his wife with him in the first place, so this isn’t a one-off. Also, he was originally AFAB, so that whole line about “Why are you all women?” is more than a little heinous and in extremely poor taste.

In conclusion, this show is terrible. Everything about it. It needs some serious reworking, because as it stands, it’s really truly not that great of a creation.

tl;dr: Needs a lot of work and “ThEy’Re In HeLl!!1!!one!!!eleven!!!11″ isn’t even remotely an excuse for the genuine problems in it. Remember, at least one actual human being on Earth, not in Hell, wrote this garbage fire. Also, the animators deserve a higher wage than whatever they’re getting to deal with these designs. I shudder just thinking about animating them, with or without a rig.

#hazbin hotel #hazho #hh #vivziepop #helluva boss #longpost #long post

[goofylittlebear]

Is it just me or is the fandom super mean to Roman for no reason?

Sure, he isn’t the nicest to Virgil at first and he’s a bit egotistical, but hear me out!

Okay, so we know his whole feud with Virgil but that’s because he genuinely believes he’s a bad guy. And with good reason! He went against most of what Princey stood for, classic antagonist-protagonist trope, there’s no wrong side, he just mistook him as a villain rather than the antagonist.

Then, him being egotistical, okay, yeah, he’s a bit mean about it but he’s literally the ego, there are things about yourself you can change but he cannot change that because it is him!!!, and you have all seen throughout most of the series that it’s mostly a facade. He absolutely loves the other sides and even before he admitted it, I thought it was kind of obvious that his hate was mostly teasing (that went a little too far sometimes)

But no. Remus (whom I also absolutely adore btw) does absolutely awful things (and he’s morally grey) and you all forgive him because you think he’s funny. (Of course some people don’t like him- for a valid reason, his humor is not for everyone and his morbidity could be hard to handle)

As much as you guys want to argue it, absolutely nobody hates Virgil. I love him and I’m saying that nobody really hates him. (And I’m not talking about Deceit or Remus, there’s clearly something else going on there) out of the entire fandom you change him the most. You make him the “innocent precious bean that’s always super sad and depressed and oh no we need to go save him.” That’s not him!! Of course, when you hear the word anxiety you forget how different types of anxiety work, sure his bark is stronger than his bite, but that doesn’t mean he’s constantly crying (off camera... maybe but it betrays his dark and edgy persona, I believe) He is literally more fight than flight! And guess what? He’s not so innocent, sure we all know that it wasn’t really in his best interest to hurt feelings, but he did it anyway and you forgive him? He has insulted the other sides with intents of malice. (Maybe I’m being dramatic, sue me, :P)

“But he was just acting how he had to.”

Well, sure, but Roman was too!

Besides that- let’s be honest with ourselvesa you guys don’t like Roman because a good 45% of the fandom is basically comprised of mainly Virgil stans and Roman was mean to him at first.

Building off of that... Roman did make an effort after he realized his mistake, and even if it wasn’t the nicest towards Virgil, he tended to look on the bright side when he was gone.

(It’s also funny how often Virgil stand say they hate Roman and then ship him with Virgil. I’m calling y’all out, not shaming you tho)

Do you know how often Roman is disregarded in terms of embarrassment and his problems? Everyone seems to forget about his insecurities and weaker points and the fact that he’s constantly embarrassing himself and being silly and everybody makes him out to be this major jerk that thinks so highly of himself that he thinks he’s the only one who matters and take sit upon himself to belittle others because he knows he’s better and they’re useless... in all reality that sounds more like something that Logan himself has actually admitted.

Just toned down, he has said stuff along the lines of:

“I know I’m smart than everybody else” (which is fair tbh)

“Which I could normally solve by myself.”

[“Nonetheless you called someone here to help.”],

and other things about how great he believes he is.

The only difference between he and Logan (confidence-wise) is that Logan is more inviting and you can fully understand his personality of no nonsense, only the truth and genuine confidence, while Roman is a bit... pushier about it, he’s doing it for himself because he believes that’s what he needs to do/ that’s the correct thing to do because if they believe it, then they will know he’s stronger, which is what I assume he strives to be based on all that he brags on, (“Although if we were physically fighting I’d totally win”)

And basically, yes, he’s a bitch, they’re all bitches (except Patton, he’s pure as hell, and ever intentionally does anything bad or as many people like to say “manipulative” but that’s not the point rn. Also Character Thomas- and regular Thomas- isn’t a bitch, except a bad bitch because hell yes.) But even if they’re all bitches, they don’t have to be bad as people (or... sides) necessarily.

Some things that you’re probably asking yourself: is

Is he my favorite? Well... yes.

Do I know that he is an asshole? Also yes.

Does this make it seem like I hate Virgil? Yes.

Is that true? No. He’s actually one of my favorites. I actually relate to him a lot as my friends literally refer to me as Virgil sometimes (no offense to Virgil kinnies, love y’all, but call me a Virgil kinny and I’ll deck your ass)

Does this make me sound mean towards Logan? Yeah, but like, first off, I doubt he’d care, as I’m pointing out inconsistencies, and also, I do love Logan. He’s a bad bitch (you can’t kill him)

Does this sound like I just really love Roman? Well, yes, and you’re not wrong but I am trying to explain this from an un-opinionated standpoint.

I’m sorry that was fucking long. But that ends my mini rant. RESPECT MY BOI, ROMAN 🤍💛❤️

#I’m a lesbian but i love him #roman sanders #virgil sanders #thomas sanders #logan sanders #sanders sides #remus sanders #patton sanders #Roman