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#these don’t apply as much in Gotham obvs
frownyalfred · 25 days
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Tips for writing those gala scenes, from someone who goes to them occasionally:
Generally you unbutton and re-button a suit coat when you sit down and stand up.
You’re supposed to hold wine or champagne glasses by the stem to avoid warming up the liquid inside. A character out of their depth might hold the glass around the sides instead.
When rich/important people forget your name and they’re drunk, they usually just tell you that they don’t remember or completely skip over any opportunity to use your name so they don’t look silly.
A good way to indicate you don’t want to shake someone’s hand at an event is to hold a drink in your right hand (and if you’re a woman, a purse in the other so you definitely can’t shift the glass to another hand and then shake)
Americans who still kiss cheeks as a welcome generally don’t press lips to cheeks, it’s more of a touch of cheek to cheek or even a hover (these days, mostly to avoid smudging a woman’s makeup)
The distinctions between dress codes (black tie, cocktail, etc) are very intricate but obvious to those who know how to look. If you wear a short skirt to a black tie event for example, people would clock that instantly even if the dress itself was very formal. Same thing goes for certain articles of men’s clothing.
Open bars / cash bars at events usually carry limited options. They’re meant to serve lots of people very quickly, so nobody is getting a cosmo or a Manhattan etc.
Members of the press generally aren’t allowed to freely circulate at nicer galas/events without a very good reason. When they do, they need to identify themselves before talking with someone.
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charlesien · 6 days
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Tips for writing those gala scenes, from someone who goes to them occasionally:
Generally you unbutton and re-button a suit coat when you sit down and stand up.
You’re supposed to hold wine or champagne glasses by the stem to avoid warming up the liquid inside. A character out of their depth might hold the glass around the sides instead.
When rich/important people forget your name and they’re drunk, they usually just tell you that they don’t remember or completely skip over any opportunity to use your name so they don’t look silly.
A good way to indicate you don’t want to shake someone’s hand at an event is to hold a drink in your right hand (and if you’re a woman, a purse in the other so you definitely can’t shift the glass to another hand and then shake)
Americans who still kiss cheeks as a welcome generally don’t press lips to cheeks, it’s more of a touch of cheek to cheek or even a hover (these days, mostly to avoid smudging a woman’s makeup)
The distinctions between dress codes (black tie, cocktail, etc) are very intricate but obvious to those who know how to look. If you wear a short skirt to a black tie event for example, people would clock that instantly even if the dress itself was very formal. Same thing goes for certain articles of men’s clothing.
Open bars / cash bars at events usually carry limited options. They’re meant to serve lots of people very quickly, so nobody is getting a cosmo or a Manhattan etc.
Members of the press generally aren’t allowed to freely circulate at nicer galas/events without a very good reason. When they do, they need to identify themselves before talking with someone.
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dykesbat · 3 years
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okok songs from my bruce playlist + reasons
first love / late spring by mitski
“and I was so young when I behaved twenty-five / Yet now I find I’ve grown into a tall child… Please hurry, leave me, I can’t breathe / Please don’t say you love me / Mune ga hachikire-sōde”
pretty self-explanatory! bruce is emotionally immature and just. yeah i feel like he oftentimes does feel the same as he did in that alleyway yknow. maybe he’s realizing the depths of how immature he is right here in the moment of recognizing that the person he finds himself loving right now is also someone he could potentially lose. i think of bruce as someone who loves a lot. maybe here he’s acknowledging how the price of loving is the possibility of pain.
everybody lost somebody by bleachers
THIS ENTIRE SONG BROOOOOOO
“It’s this dream I keep having where I’m begging / Just to give myself a break / But there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to wake up and remember it / I wanna wake up and remember”
Bruce being an avid dreamer is a pretty popular concept n idk I think the concept of his dreams diverging from the nightmares of his loss to a dream of him acknowledging that he’s mourning and wanting the world to stop or like. him having a nightmare where the only coherent words he remembers after waking up is just his internal “i’m so tired” but maybe its survivors guilt maybe its just the desperation to hold on to whatever he can of the people that he lost maybe he's just trying to hold on to all the good and the good memories are just. so intertwined with the pain of loss. but he doesn’t want to let go of it
“I think pain is waiting alone at the corner / Tryna get myself back home, yeah / Looking like everybody / Knowing everybody lost somebody... A reason I see myself in a million faces / A reason I can't stop it all from changing / So come on, motherf*^&r, you survive”
i think these lines can be used to represent him turning his pain into his efforts for making gotham better. basically just. redirecting the love into the city and the people rather than only mourning. obv it would be his entire mission after his parent’s deaths. and for canon continuity reasons—since it's a bit more hopeful maybe it's after jason’s death and after tim comes around? idk i imagine bruce remembering his parents and remember jason around the manor hallways and on the city rooftops. the whole “trying to get myself back home” can be like home = the person lost or just. literally bruce trying to put in the effort to dragging himself back home for (himself? tim? alfred? hmm.) n the other lines are just. him seeing himself in gotham and seeing worth in human life. it connects to his compassion and his no-kill-rule and his empathy and his taking in of his children. and like yeah he can’t stop it all from changing he can't prevent every death but he’ll try to. the survive line is also pretty self-explanatory. 
garden song by phoebe bridges
“I don't know when you got taller / See our reflection in the water / Off a bridge at the Huntington / I hopped the fence when I was seventeen / Then I knew what I wanted”
ok so I'm thinking. him talking abt dick in the first few lines. probably after reconciling with him after they've been enstranged for so long and he’s feeling regretful for the mistakes he made there while thinking of their past times together.  maybe he took younger dick to a place he went to when he solidified his plan to train abroad? 
“And it’s gonna be just like my recurring dream / I’m at the movies, I don’t remember what I’m seeing / The screen turns into a tidal wave”
do I have to explain.. avid dreamer bruce,, the movies,, the dream ending terribly,, gn!
“I don’t know how, but I’m taller / It must be something in the water / Everything’s growing in our garden / You don’t have to know that it’s haunted”
idk how to explain it? but just. bruce growing up in a manor that suddenly feels larger than it ever did before. n it feels like he took his parents ghosts w him and left whatever his childhood was back in that alley. and part of him can pick out what he felt on that day. and so much changed and he’s grown? he’s grown older than his father ever was? and he doesn’t know how that's possible?
class of 2013 by mitski
“Mom, can you wash my back / This once, and then we can forget / And I’ll leave what im chasing / For the other girls to pursue…. Mom am I still young / Can I dream for a few months more” 
ok no he is not financially struggling n i will b honest this is a self-indulgent song to maximize relatability <3 but my decision to put this song was also based on the idea of him just. missing him mom so muchhhh?? maybe a dream? maybe the aftermath of fear gas? who knows but here the “forget” will just be for his parent's deaths. I imagine this to be somewhat akin to the mask of phantasm monologue he has at his parents grave. (spoilers for that: he’s basically asking his parents for forgiveness for potentially abandoning his oath of bettering Gotham as Batman). last line makes me #$%^&*( just. hnnnnnnn imagine him waking up blurry eyed and brain fogged and he’s just grasping onto the false belief of his parents still being there n clinging on to the comfort of his pre-crime alley childhood before he truly wakes up. 
 sick of losing soulmates by dodie
okok this is on my bruce + romance playlist too bc it reminded me of batcat and bruharvey. it can also be interpreted as his fam ig? but I feel like that doesn’t apply for most of the song.
“God knows what I would be if you hadn’t found me / Sitting all alone in the dark… What the hell would I be without you / Brave face talk so lightly, hide the truth… Cause I’m sick of losing soulmates / So where do we begin / I can finally see you’re as f$:$:&ed up as me / So how do we win”
 I just think. that. Bruce would have abandonment issues. first four lines can be taken for all three (batcat, bruharv, the family) interpretations. the truth being hidden doubling both as his identity as Batman and just. the fact that he loves them lol (batcat, bruharv). last three lines lean towards bc and bh but personally they reminded me more of bat cat (probably bc ppl always say they’re so similar). basically I feel like this song could signify their fears of losing each other in whatever way that means (romantically, platonically, death) bc they both care for each other so much and impact each other so muchhsuagdj but at the same time it feels like its bound to end badly. (ofc it doesn't. whether or not they like. break up from a romance or have a falling out between friends i’d like to think some time after they heal they become reconnect n their relationship w each other is stronger and so alike what it was before but different bc its just. so much healthier this time. and to copy and paste from my thoughts on my other playlist: bruce crashes at selinas house sometimes and she makes the him catsit for her bc she thinks it’s funny when he complains abt her cats and calls them mean names and then gets a picture of bruce knocked out cuddling them like 30 m later courtesy alfred)
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darknessisafriend · 5 years
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Your savior
Tag list: @help-i-am-obssessed @the-ineffable-dreamer 
Request from @sirianfromsixties
Prompt: Hi Would you do a Joker x Reader like : it was late night in Gotham and the reader was walking alone when 3 men started to harass her and punch her till,while she's on the floor all hurt and In pain,someone came and shoot the 3 men,then take her senseless to his "home" to take care of her?(it's the joker obv) Then idk,like,when she wakes up she's scared but then only thankfull and turned on by him and things happens?And this is becoming smuth  
NSFW 
Here it is ! I’m really happy to share this with you people, hope you’ll like it <3
You were tired, your day at work got longer than expected and you had to work on extra material until 9pm. To make things worse you lived around 45 min away from work, the subway was fine, a lot of people were taking this line to go out, it made you feel safe. Cities and especially Gotham were dangerous places for women, even more if you’re alone outside after 8 in the evening. Now what worried you the most was this 15 minutes’ walk from the subway to your flat; the neighborhood wasn’t bad in itself but there was couple of bars nearby and drunk people could really become annoying and creepy; you stopped counting how many times you had to speed your pace because of some guys calling you and even following you.
You exited the subway stop, it was getting quite cold, after all it was October. You tighten your coat around your body and walked to your flat; the way was pretty simple, you kept walking on the main street then at the crossing turn left, until you reach the adjacent street where was your flat. Even if the city made you nervous, you enjoyed the night, the few stars you could see mixed with the lights of the skyscrapers was beautiful. 
“Hi…” lost in your thoughts you startled at hearing someone calling you. You quickly glanced in their direction, there was 3 guys sitting on the steps of a building, a couple of bottles around them. ‘And here we go’ you thought starting to be nervous.
You decided to continue walking, hopefully they will leave it at that.
“Hey Miss! C’mon don’t be afraid, we just wanna talk to you!” another insisted. You continued to walk pretending not to hear them, your heartbeat increasing. You heard footsteps behind you ‘shit! Please stop!’ you wished, you started to increase your pace. Until you felt your arm being yanked back.
“Don’t you fuckin’ ignore me!” badgered the man holding your arm.
“Yeah he’s being nice to you and you act like a brat…” chided the third one. You tried to snatch your arm out of his grip.
“I’m not interested, just let me go.” You replied trying to hide the fear in your voice.
“What you think I’m not good enough for you?!
“I didn’t say…” a heavy slap across your cheek cut you off, you can feel your cheek burning, the shock makes your eyes wet. You struggled trying to free yourself from his claws and run away. But the 2 other men joined him gripping you by your coat, shoulders, pushing towards a dark alley.
“HELP!!” you screamed at the top of your lungs ‘please somebody hear me!’, you received another hit, this time a fist met your jaw, sending you to the ground, you tried to crawl away from them, but despite the alcohol they were faster than you, gripping your hair tightly.
“We’re gonna teach you good manners hussy!” one of them growled, kicking you in your belly, you curved into a ball trying to protect yourself, and they continued to punch you over and over again until you couldn’t feel the pain anymore, but only the pounding in your head and warm drops of blood dripping from various areas of your face.
“Hey, hold her, might as well take some good time with her” tempted one as he started to take off his belt ‘please not this’
A loud bang like a gunshot resonated around you “What the…!” screamed one the man, before another gunshot happened, then a third one. You wanted to move, get away but your body was becoming weaker and weaker, in fact your survival instinct was trying to keep you conscious but the hits you took had hurt you badly. The last thing you remember was a laugh, a hearty laugh, your eyelids closed, you vision becoming blurry, a red spot coming closer to you…
 Several hours later
 Your head was pounding, painful, your eyelids heavy. You didn’t want to move, you just felt exhausted, like any ounce of energy you had, had left your body. Whatever was surrounding you was soft…and warm. Where were you? You wondered. Suddenly everything that had happened to you surged back to your mind, their beating, your cries for help, the gunshots. Your eyes shot open. Your eyes quickly wandering around the room where you were. There was barely enough light for you to distinguish anything, there was a large window giving a view of the city, it was still the night?
There wasn’t much in the room, apart from the bed you were in; there was desk with a mirror, an ashtray, the smell of cigarette was very present and there was also tubes and pallets of paint or makeup maybe. The door was closed but you could see light peak through the cracks of the door.
As if your body was only starting to wake up, you started to feel pain, in your belly, your arms and you realized that they were full of purple bruises. You winced, which in return made your head hurt, you slowly brought your fingers to touch your face, you could feel your left eyebrow being swollen, a cut crossing it. You felt dry blood around your nostrils, and another cut at your lower lip.  You felt tears prickling in your eyes, remembering the scene once again.
But you were okay now…who had saved you? In any case, you had to thank them, who knows if you’d still be alive if this mysterious savior hadn’t pulled the trigger. Cause yeah, you weren’t stupid, you remembered the gunshots and honestly you didn’t care, these assholes only got what they deserved. You wanted to thank to person who saved you.
Still, feeling cautious, you got out of bed as slowly as you could, realizing at the same time that you were only wearing your panties and undershirt, you guessed your clothes were probably full of blood and filth from the streets.  You tip toed to the door, looking through the key hole, trying to spot somebody but nothing. Your hand slowly reached for the doorknob, twisting it as slowly as you could. You arrived in a much bigger room, with sofas, tables and many chairs, looked like a meeting room.
“You should be staying in bed…” you jumped at the masculine voice behind you. You took a deep breath ‘come on this person saved you, there’s nothing to fear!’ you told yourself as you pivoted to face your savior. You weren’t expecting to come face to face with the Joker. You were kind of frozen, at his sight, his eyes were intensely looking at you, he brought his cigarette to his lips, taking a long drag. You took a few steps back, your back meeting the sofa. So that explain the laugh you heard and the red you saw. You were confused, he’s supposed to be a crazy criminal regardless that he was right to speak out about the state of Gotham…why save you? He didn’t say a word, probably curious of what you’d do next. He didn’t look like he had bad intentions towards you. You caught yourslef wondering what he looked like without his makeup on but now that you had him right in front of you, he wasn’t as frightening as the media presented him, he looked quite elegant actually with his 3-piece suit, his green hair perfectly slicked back, his makeup neatly applied. You realized that he had beautiful eyes, their color going from green to an icy blue, quite captivating actually…then you became aware that you might have been starring at him for too long.
“Thank you…” you started embarrassed, lowering your eyes. He chuckled, you couldn’t help but be on your guard, to wake up at a criminal’s home after being assaulted by other criminals wasn’t a common thing…did he plan on keeping you here? This idea suddenly appeared, you started to be anxious again, quickly brushing a strand of hair behind you ear, this was the Joker there’s no way to escape him!
The clown must have sensed your sudden panic, so he walk to what you assumed to be the entrance door, and he opened it.
“You free to go but you should stay, you took a pretty bad beating, you’re still weak.” He advised, taking another drag of his cigarette. Shit, you were being stupid, if he wanted to hurt you, considering your outfit at the moment, he would have already done it.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…be rude…” you stuttered. You heard him closing the door, but as the adrenaline came down, you started to feel dizzy, loosing your balance. Thankfully he was quickly by your side, holding you steady, his hands felt warm against your skin.
“You’re freezing cold, let’s go back to bed” he directed, holding you against his side, one arm wrapped around your shoulders, the other gently stroking your forearm.  You sat on the mattress, he did the same, putting a cover over your body. It was nice to have someone taking care of you after what you’ve been through, to be comforted. Another feeling rose in your chest, your eyes becoming wet, your lower lip trembling, you didn’t want to cry but it became stronger until you couldn’t hold it anymore, tears running down on your face, your breathing erratic.
“Shhshhshh come here kitten…” he took you into his embrace, your arms wrapped around his waist beneath his vest. You buried your head in the crook of his neck and cried for several minutes. He continued to hold you, one hand stroking your back and the other caressing your hair, it soothed you, and even when you had finished crying you stayed buried in his embrace enjoying the warmth, listening to his calm heartbeat, you could smell that he was wearing Cologne. You nuzzled your nose against the skin of his neck, you wanted to be closer to him, you didn’t want to feel the hands of those assholes on you anymore, you felt soiled. And you found the Joker quite handsome, charismatic, magnetic, and he has been so gentle with you…
You brushed your lips against his skin, he chuckled.
“Now, aren’t you being a tease?” he asked, you could tell he was smiling. You looked up meeting his eyes, he was intrigued, but you could also tell that he was attracted to you, his pupils were slightly dilated starring at your lips, his hand never leaving your body since he first touched you. So you leaned in, kissing his lips; his hand instantly went to your neck, his thumb caressing your cheek, his tongue came teasing your lips, so you opened your mouth, your tongue meeting his, it tasted good, addictive, a soft mix of alcohol and tobacco. The kiss became more intense, needy, you slipped on of your hands in the back of his pants trying to find more skin to feel. A moan escaped his lips, as he separated from you, panting.
“You don’t want to do this kitten…” he breathed, a mischievous glow in his eyes, a grin on his lips. You slightly frowned at this “Why?” you exclaimed, your other hand cupping his cheek, he leaned into his warmth, your thumb brushed against his lips, making him close his eyes like he was restraining himself.
“Because I won’t stop, not until I take you and make you fully mine…” he growled, reopening his eyes that were now dark with desire. Your heart skipped a beat at this confession.
“Then take me.” You purred; he didn’t need to hear more and crashed his lips against yours, slightly making your open lip bleed and making you tumble on your back on the bed, he placed himself between your legs, tracing kisses along your jaw, then your neck, his tongue tickling your skin, sucking and nibbling the most sensitive spots. You buried your fingers in his green locks, closing your eyes to enjoy even more the pleasure he was giving you, you’ve always had a very sensitive neck. You could already feel him hard against your leg. Your other traveled to his collarbone under his shirt, his skin was burning hot.  He straightened, throwing his vest on the floor and unbuttoning his shirt, you watched him reveal his torso, he was thin still you could see he was muscular, he had nice biceps… You also took off your undershirt, then your bra, revealing your breast, your nipples hard. He seemed frozen.
“Damn kitten…you’re so gorgeous.” He said hungrily, pushing you back on the mattress, eagerly sucking your nipples sometimes biting them, making you gasp.  Then his kisses went lower until they reach your panties. He kisses you above the fabric, teasing, you can’t help but arch your body for more. Then, with his teeth he grabs top of your panties, slowly making it slide down, you lift your hips to make it easier, he uses his right hand to yank it away. He groans as he grabs your thighs and starts to eat you out, circling around your clit, licking your labia. You’re panting, you want to feel him inside of you, you let out a needy moan.
He chuckles against your soft spot “you like that kitten?” he asks you as he came back to your mouth with a feline grin. You hungrily kiss him while your hand slides down his lower belly, then beneath his pants and underwear, you stroke his cock, gently slowly at first making him longingly moan.
“Fuck…that’s good” he swooned against your lips. He was being so sensitive to your care that it made it difficult for him to do anything, even kiss, your smirked at this.
Finally he couldn’t take it anymore and unzipped his pants to let his erection out. You felt his cock at your wet entrance. Slowly he entered you, you released a shaky breath when you felt him inside of you. His thrusts quickly became more forceful, his forehead against yours, his tongue devouring your mouth. You gripped his shoulders bringing him closer to you, feeling his torso brushing against your breast. He was being so caring and passionate in this moment, making sure you liked it, that he was bringing you pleasure. His thrusts became deeper and quicker making your eyes roll back. You felt yourself coming closer and closer and Joker was too, his groan becoming louder and louder. You cried at out as you came, an electrifying pleasure spreading across your body, he quickly followed you in a long moan. He was out of breath, his whole body shaking, you kissed him one more time as he slowly lied down on your body his head buried in your neck.
“You’ll never have to be alone again…I’ll protect you…” he whispers in your ear as you fell asleep, feeling safe as ever in the arms of the greatest criminal of Gotham.    
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Text
My Hero
Request: Hi Would you do a Joker x Reader like : it was late night in Gotham and the reader was walking alone when 3 men started to harass her and punch her till,while she's on the floor all hurt and In pain,someone came and shoot the 3 men,then take her senseless to his "home" to take care of her?(it's the joker obv) Then idk,like,when she wakes up she's scared but then only thankfull and turned on by him and things happens?And this is becoming smuth but well 😂 Sorry and thank you if you do it
Warnings: Violence, oral (female receiving), drunk jerks being drunk jerks, cursing, harassment
A/N: It’s not as good as I’d hoped it be, but I really hope you like it!
You had lived in Gotham your whole life, and had worked at your current job for a few years now. You had walked home from work countless times, and tonight was no different. Sure, Gotham wasn’t necessarily the safest of all cities, but having lived there your whole life, you had perfected your “Don’t fuck with me” vibe from a relatively young age. And, considering how often you’ve made this walk, it has always proven to be uneventful. You didn’t tend to worry about it.
This would prove to lead to a downfall for you tonight. You passed some men, clearly older than you, but still young men by all means. They were noticeably drunk, and were all wearing suits. You scoffed inwardly. Of course it was the rich drunk in the street, the law didn’t seem to apply to them. Your thoughts were just about to drift to something else when you heard a wolf whistle. You looked up, looking around you before it occurred to you to look at them in an attempt to find out who that was directed at. Upon finding the street empty aside from yourself and those drunken bastards, you felt your stomach twist around itself and drop to your feet. “What?” You snap back, trying your hardest to keep your solid exterior despite the nerves that were welling inside you. “Looks like we got a feisty one on our hands tonight. How about you show us how feisty you can really be, sweet thing?” He slurred, getting to close for comfort. He was close enough that you could smell the liquor on his breath, and between his words and his breath on your face, he had gone too far. “Fuck off!” You yell, giving the hardest shove you could muster. The smirks they had been sporting seemed to fall off their faces in sync, and fear started to overtake you. You turned on your heel, about to make a run for it when you were pulled back by the hood of your jacket. Whichever one had grabbed you didn’t bother to catch you before you hit the ground, and the cement hitting your back sent shockwaves of pain through your entire body. You arched in pain, twisting on the ground before these men who were planning god only knows what. All at once, they started kicking you. You yelled the best you could manage, hoping there was somebody, anybody around who could help you. A sharp blow to the abdomen knocked the wind out of you, forcing your cries to fall silent. The pain was unbearable and didn’t seem to have an end in sight. You prayed they wouldn’t hit your head or rupture any organs, but at this point, you were defenseless against them. 
Out of nowhere, you hear a sound louder than any you’ve heard before ring out. There were three loud bangs in rapid succession, and as soon as you heard them, the kicking stopped, and immediately you heard the sound of three bodies hitting the pavement. Anyone who’s lived in Gotham their whole life could tell you what just happened without looking up, you were sure anyone in general could, and you were no exception. You knew those guys were dead. You didn’t look up. Partly because you couldn’t, but you’d also be lying if you said you didn’t feel equal parts fear and gratitude.  Yes, whoever fired those gunshots had saved you, but why? Nobody in Gotham gave a shit about anyone else. This was definitely a mind-your-own-business type city. You couldn’t help but fear that you were only saved by this mystery person so that they could have at you instead. God knows that you were vulnerable enough for them to do whatever they pleased right now anyway, you could hardly move. You heard the footsteps of someone you were hoping was your savior and not another person with dark intentions. They were walking agonizingly slowly. Shock gripped your already shaken body when you found yourself staring at a pair of brown oxfords and red slacks that had been plastered all over Gotham for the past few months. The Joker had just killed those three men who were harassing you. 
Surprisingly gently, you were pulled up into a sitting position. You tried to look up at him, coughing as a single word left your mouth before you could catch it. “Why?” you asked, sending a sharp pain through your chest and stomach. He laughed that unmistakable laugh as he held his hand out to you. “I’ve been there,” He says, his voice sounding almost normal. It baffled you how this man, a man known for his insanity, who had just killed three men in front of you, could sound so normal. His voice returned to what you assumed it typically was, an arrogant timbre lacing his words as he began to speak again. “Let’s get you somewhere nicer.”
Before you faded out of consciousness, you aware of being lifted off your feet, but nothing after that. You awoke now to the heavy smell of cigarettes and an unfamiliar room. You were lying on a bed, the sound of music coming loudly from the other room filling your ears. Your body is gripped with panic when you realize that you are in a stranger’s apartment, memories of what happened before you blacked out flooding your mind at rapid-fire. The men, being beaten, the gunshots, The Joker. That’s when it occurred to you where you were. This had to be the Joker’s apartment, that was the only plausible explanation. Once again you found yourself considering that the act of him saving you did not automatically mean he had good intentions. 
You felt sick with fear. Trembling as you sat up. Ever so slowly, you turned your legs so that they were hanging off the bed. You slid off, slowly still, taking steps as silently as possible. When you reached the door, you peeked into the other room to see the Joker with his shirt off, dancing to the music coming from a small radio. He still had his makeup on, mysterious as ever, but you could see his bare chest and arms as he danced. And, to your own surprise, found yourself oddly enthralled. You could tell that he had spent a large part of his life lacking proper nutrition, but looked healthier than what you assumed he used to be. You also noticed that his dancing was odd, definitely all his own. This wasn’t the type of dancing that was learned from mimicking professional dancers or observing other people, this was the kind of dancing that came purely from within, the kind that involved moving in any way that you felt the urge to move. You knew you should be terrified, horrified by this man. He had killed countless people, started a city-wide uproar that killed countless more, and had technically kidnapped you. But instead of being scared and repulsed, as you should feel, you were captivated. You were so busy watching the movement of his body— the gyrating of his hips —that you didn’t notice that he could see you, and was now looking straight at you as he danced. You realized in this moment that if he really wanted to hurt you, he could have. You could have woken up chained to the bed, or worse. He could have done anything he wanted while you slept. But instead, he stood in his living room and danced. The Joker had saved your life simply because he wanted to. 
You were ripped out of our thoughts by his voice, jumping as he chuckled at you. “Like what you see?” He asked, a wide smirk on his face. “Oh- Uhm-” You struggled to find a response, and ultimately failed, unable to do anything but state at him. He sauntered towards you, his long legs carrying him quickly across the room despite the slow pace he was walking at. It was only a moment before he was standing in front of you, the same smirk still written on his face as he gazed down at you. His eyes were beautiful, a stunning shade of green that you had never seen before. Honestly, you didn’t spend much time looking people in the eye. You found yourself getting lost in him for the second time in only a few minutes. 
“Feeling any better?” He asked with the same cocky manner about him that he had before you passed out. “Uhm- A little bit.” You managed. “Oh?” He asked, his eyes trailing down to your arms, which were covered in bruises and lacerations. “Now that you’re awake, I think maybe I should take a look at you. Taking a beating like that can do some damage.” He says, and something about the way he says it gives you the feeling that he knows that firsthand. His tone is not as demanding as you’d expect. It holds a certain flirtiness to it, but not a hint of pushiness. You feel that you’d be free to say no if you really wanted to, but you don’t want to. You find yourself completely open to his ideas and advances, giving him a quick nod. A grin spread across his face as he walked past you into his room. “You’ll want to sit down for this,” He suggests, sitting on his bed. Your feet carry you swiftly to his bed, your mind seemingly going into autopilot. Once you’re seated comfortably in front of him, his hand moves to the edge of your shirt, pulling it up to expose your ribs. You are cognizant of the hint of your bra that is showing, and a shiver runs down your spine as you notice he looked at your bra before he looked at your bruises. 
He moves his other hand to touch your ribs, checking to see just how bad your condition was. You flinched, but didn’t cry out as loudly as he had anticipated, which was a good sign in his eyes. He figured it was about the same level of ain he had been in the day those kids had taken his sign months ago. A bit worse for te wear, but ultimately you’d be okay. His hands moved forward, trailing his fingers over your stomach. Your senses are heightened, and you find yourself leaning into his touch, craving the feeling of his hands. He chuckles, moving his hand up, testing his limits. You push yourself into his hand and give a small whine. “Please,” you whisper, low enough that he wasn’t sure he heard you. He didn’t need to, though. The look on your face told him all that he needed to know. His hand moved up, over your bra, as the other moved to your waist. He gave a light squeeze before lifting your shirt over your head, gazing down at you with hunger in his eyes. He leaned in, letting you decide if you wanted to kiss him or not. Of course you did, your body was aching for him, how could you not? You pressed your lips to his, desperate for his kiss. His hands left their position, and one moved to cup your face while the other trailed downwards. You felt his fingers rub you outside of your paints, and you melted into the kiss. He gently pushes you back onto the bed, not yet breaking the kiss. He starts to undo the fastening on your pants, and only pulls away to pull your pants down your legs. You raise your hips, making the job easier for him. He then moves onto your underwear, which are soaked at this point. He smirks up at you as he slowly pulls them down your legs. This man a man that takes his time, and you’ve noticed that many times since you met him the day before. In his walk, in his talk, even in bed he is a man that does things at his own pace. 
He leaned into you, taking you in. You arched your back and writhed, desperate for some kind of contact. He grabbed your hips, gently holding you in place as he finally licked a slow strip up your folds, letting out a small groan as he did so. Suddenly, he went down on you with the vigor of a man starved. He latched onto your clit, sucking hard as you arched your back and screamed for him. He pushed two fingers inside you, fucking you roughly. Just as you were desperate to cum, he was desperate to taste it. He curled his fingers against your g-spot, triggering an earth-shattering orgasm. You arched and clenched around his fingers, but it seemed as though he wasn’t done. His fingers kept moving, roughly pushing into at a rapid pace. He wasn’t taking his time anymore, he was moving quickly, pulling orgasm after orgasm out of you. It was almost too much, but you loved it. You laced your fingers through his hair, holding him against you. Once he had decided he’d made you cum enough, he pulled his fingers out and leaned back, leaving you a twitching mess on the bed. “How are you feeling now?” He teased, standing up. You could hardly manage a response, exhausted out of your mind. He laughed once more and pulled the blanket over your naked and exhausted body. You’d need rest after all of that.  
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shamelesslymkp · 4 years
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ok so
earlier, while I was in excruciating pain and trying not to think about it, I came up with what still seems like the best idea ever although I don’t know how well I’d be able to implement it
are you ready for this? drumroll please:
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a podcast (podfic?) of a gotham radio show. I’d need to get permission from @goldkirk​ for using Batwatch, obvs, or edit that part out.
picture -- er. hear this: 
Good morning, Gotham! This is Morning Madness on GPR (Gotham Public Radio), and I’m your host, Stephanie Brown!
up first, a reminder from the GCPD that both the Condiment King and Killer Croc are still at large. please be mindful and report any sightings immediately to either the GCPD or Batwatch - you can do this either by calling the GCPD supervillain hotline (1-800-NOT-GOOD), texting the Batwatch text-a-threat (911-FML), or by chirp using the hashtag #BatWatch.
let’s take a look at traffic. as you probably remember, there was a big showdown over the weekend between Mr. Freeze and Poison Ivy - apparently he’s been less than careful with his ice lately and has been killing a lot of plants - which left much of Gotham Central Park in less than stellar shape. Both criminals were apprehended and returned to Arkham late last night by none other than Gotham’s own fantabulous Batgirl, but the damage to both people and property was already done. Anyways. 12th street is blocked off between North North street and Wayne Avenue. Wayne Avenue itself is not blocked off, but is currently limited to a single lane of traffic and has been temporarily turned into a one-way. Expect delays on your commute, especially if your commute goes within a three mile radius of Gotham Central Park. Consider taking an alternate route if possible or skip driving entirely and take advantage of our city’s excellent public transportation system!
in sports, we are pleased to report that the Gotham Knights have once again trumped the Metropolis Monarchs (in your FACE, Metropolis!) with an ending score of 6-2. the Central City Stars also eked out a win over the Star City Rockets, 4-3.
speaking of Central City, we’ve received reports that there may be a new speedster in the city! lately there have been multiple sightings of a blue streak zipping around town and leaving behind tied up crooks. it’s unclear at this time if this blue streak is a new addition to the Central City lineup of superheroes, a testing out of a new costume by one of the current members, or a future speedster who’s traveled back in time for some clearly CRITICAL reason as historically speaking every timetraveling speedster has basically BROKEN THE UNIVERSE, and clearly only an IDIOT would keep doing the same thing and expecting different results, like come on, Flash, are you going for the Guinness world record or something? newsflash honey, you’ve already SET IT--
uh. sorry. tangent.
weather today is expected to be gloomy and overcast with a chance of foreboding rain, so make sure to grab your umbrella as well as your gas mask on the way out the door. remember that all gas masks should have their filters replaced once every three months, regardless of exposure to toxins. filters over three months old will still work but will be less effective, lasting for a shorter amount of time and for a lesser concentration of toxins. This will continue to worsen as time goes on. If you are having difficulty affording replacement filters, you can apply for aid from Wayne Enterprises. To see if you qualify and fill out an application, please check out their website at letgothambreathe.we.com. Again, that’s let gotham breathe - all one word - at WE dot com.
etc.
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