#thescullyphile

[deathsbestgirl]

In my mind, I've always considered Scully to have a difficult relationship with desire. She feels it--deeply, intensely--but she feels it's too revealing to own up to. The greater she desires someone, the harder it is to confess to this out loud/publicly. It feels incredibly intimate, almost too exposing to bear. What are your thoughts on this? How would you describe her relationship with desire?

ohhh! i love this question, it's something i think about a lot. i don't think i quite have a clear cut answer. i agree completely with what you say. scully feels very deeply and that definitely extends to desire and love, which is something i have a hard time integrating with her religion.

scully believes in god but she drifts from it & the church throughout the series and goes back to it, it's a pretty consistent thing she experiences. and something i've always loved about her faith is how private & personal it is to her. she wears her cross because maggie gave it to her. sometimes i think of it as something she bears. but she does believe, it's just still hard for her.

now, i'm not religious, i didn't grow up religious. but my wife did and so did one of my friends. and their experiences are wildly different. there are some sects where you do not question god, the bible, the church. but there are others where they encourage, to really learn it & understand it and build a relationship with god (to my very small understanding??) and i imagine scully was allowed to question. she talks about prayer as a conversation with god, and just. the way she lives i don't think her belief of/in god aligns with the church and is part of her drifting from the church and fighting it at different points. (all this basically to say, i don't think she sees any of it as sin or against her beliefs/religion.)

and openly expressing it, i feel a lot of it is tied to knowing where the other person stands and her insecurities. like she can show mulder such love & care in specific ways (the doctoring, the support she gives him in demons, etc) and even ask him to get out of the car (their odd little communications lol) but taking the leap? it scares her. giving herself completely is terrifying to her, especially when she's already given so much of herself. i think it's actually very consuming to her and the breadth of it is what scares her, what she's capable of.

like the closest she gets with mulder is detour and he ran, and she never does something so overt again. but with jerse, she didn't have a problem. she wasn't looking for something lasting. there was desire, and rebellion. but not love, not something deep or life changing. even with daniel, she might have been able to fall back into something with him but ... that would have been "easy" and scully doesn't choose the easy thing. she chooses mulder and the x files every time. her experience with daniel in all things is what helps her come to terms with her choices & desires.

i always come back to scully's "always the strong one" and she hides her vulnerability. i think of mulder as her conduit for vulnerability & compassion. because she cares as much as he does but she keeps it locked up, private as much as she possibly can. she loves her family but she doesn't confide in them about big important things (mulder is the one who calls maggie when she has cancer & decides to get treatment, wetwired was an anomaly of her extreme paranoia toward mulder aka the only person she trusts).

so i just find it very hard to unravel with scully. it's something so layered and kind of contradictory. but it's also so clearly intense & deep. when they're finally together and mulder is abducted, the depth of her pain can't be hidden. she rails at doggett but sobs in his arms. skinner feels incredible guilt for having lost mulder, cries when he tells scully, fights for what he knows to be the truth and scully pulls him back just by gently touching his arm. in season nine, she writes with such beautiful heartfelt intensity, no one has any doubt of what mulder is to her. she reaches a point that it doesn't matter what people know or don't know, she can no longer contain it in that tiny body of hers. after all things (and even before that, in smaller but still very noticeable ways) it pours out of her.

and actually, this made me think about emily. when she talks about holding people at a distance because she is so aware of death & loss that connection almost seems fruitless. i think we talk a lot about how mulder can't lose scully, but it's equally true for scully. the idea of loving him completely and losing him crushes her. and we get to see her without him in s8&9 and she really is barely holding it together. i genuinely think the only thing that kept her going was william and the minuscule possibility that he would come back. be returned to her like she was to him. she had to believe that would happen because the alternative was too scary to believe. and then she still had to go through his death. she had to bury him while carrying his child. (and she already had gotten a taste of losing him in field trip, and she completely lost it in her hallucinations too, before they were ever "really" together.)

i don't know what exactly i mean by all of this. but i don't think it's desire she really struggles with, i think it's her intensity. the lengths she'll go to because of it. what she's capable of because of it. the possibility of loss she can't bear and doesn't want to burden someone else with either. but it's something she can't walk away from, can't abandon when it's expressed to her or it's her "only" chance.

#dana scully #the x files #mulder and scully #msr #mine #asks #thescullyphile #i literally don't know how to answer questions #but thank you soooooo much for thinking of me and letting me babble

[thatfragilecapricorn30]

tag 9 people you want to get to know better. tagged by @enigmaticxbee -- thank you!! 💕

currently reading: the summer of broken rules by k.l. walther

last song: wet socks by richy mitch & the coal miners (title is weird but good song 😂)

currently watching: dopesick. i watched painkiller and everyone said dopesick is a lot better (so far i agree). also hoping to watch some txf this week in honor of the 30th anniversary!

current fic: not really reading anything right now but i am working on my slow burn exchange fic!

next on my watchlist: the new season of the ultimatum and finishing the last season of handmaid's tale.

current obsession: still txf... don't think that's going to change 😅

tagging @cyb3rpeach, @thescullyphile, @cutemothman, @perpetually-weirdening, @gingerteaonthetardis, @infernal-hound, @waiting-for-the-day, @jewish-mulder, @mandalorianmuffin

#tag games

[enigmaticxbee]

Tag Game

Thanks @thatfragilecapricorn30 🌟

Favorite painter: I’ve always loved Vermeer. I once stood outside in a snow storm for hours to get into a museum to see the Girl with a Pearl Earring when it was in NYC. I’d love to visit the Rijksmuseum in Amsterdam. As a dancer I’ve always been a Degas girlie. I spent a semester art class copying one of his dancer paintings and it’s probably my favorite thing thing I’ve painted. Shoutout to @storybycorey who I bought my first actual canvas, not a print, painting from, it hangs in my bedroom 💕

Favorite writer: Ann Patchett is one of the few authors that I’ve read everything they’ve written, even in a low reading period like I’m in right now I read her latest book Tom Lake right away (actually, I read it and then immediately listened to the audiobook narrated by Meryl Streep)

Favorite band: I don’t think I’ve ever really had one…

Favorite meal and drink: I really like lemonades of all sorts. The fresh raspberry lemonade I had in Sweden, or the fresh mint lemonade I had in Peru 😍 Food is harder to narrow down. Has to involve bread of some sort. Maybe because it’s a once a year meal and my favorite holiday because it just involves hanging out with my family and cooking and eating it might be Thanksgiving dinner - stuffing, turkey, mashed potatoes, green beans with almonds, carrots with apricots, cranberry sauce, the bread my mom bakes once a year that’s a variation on challah ❤️

Favorite outfit aesthetic: That I actually wear? Autumnal big chunky sweater, jeans, boots. That’s what I wear most of the year tbh. Comfy and cozy.

Favorite singer: Again, don’t really have one. There have been singers that I’ve liked - Adele, Regina Spektor, Lily Allen, Lady Gaga , Sia - but no one I’d call my favorite, or even that I’d claim to have listened to all their work. I tend to have specific songs or albums that I like.

Favorite item I own: Legally I guess I own my dog (or does she truly own me). She’s the cutest, sweetest, silliest pup, I love her so much. She’s asleep on my lap right now.

Favorite possession: How is this different from item you own? I don’t know, I have lots of little knickknacks and rocks and shells that I picked up while traveling that make me remember those trips and experiences.

Favorite perfume: I’ve literally never worn perfume in my life. I tend to buy unscented stuff for everything. Probably because my mom has asthma and reacts to scented products. It all smells way too strong to me.

I’m super later responding so I don’t remember who’s done this already so I’m just going to tag the last few people in my notes to play if you want! @ariverofsongs @television-overload @nowiseemidnight @edierone @thescullyphile

#tag game

[scullysflannel]

Top 5 favorite Mulder looks?

5. this t-shirt kinda wants to be an off-the-shoulder number

4. lesbian on a hike

3. greased lightnin

2. excuse me??? excuse me?????? sir this is a morgue

1. baby boy

#thescullyphile #i love my son.... #txf #fox mulder #xf thoughts #xf looks

[dnscully]

Top 5 favorite MSR scenes?

omg i feel like my favorite moments changed based on my mood but today im feelin:

1. the baseball scene - i love it. i legitimately love it. i think about it A Lot

2. walking on memphis dance - pls. i know im basic but pls.

3. when mulder mouths “i love you” in deadalive. i mEAN

4. millenium kiss

5. the “manos de piedras” moment in empedocles idk why but i love it

bonus: “you always keep me guessing” flirty moments in theef. SO LOUD

ask me my top  5/10 anything!!

#TY ILY #ask #thescullyphile

[thespookyintrovert]

Two Slow Dancers

Cancer-arc angst. There will be fluff in the next part because I can't help myself. Read on ao3.

tagging @today-in-fic

i. first steps

With the winter chill slowly thawing into whispers of spring, April stretches its lazy limbs over D.C, wearing the ashen dampness like a cloak. It’s oddly fitting, Mulder thinks, driving to work ona particularly dreary Friday. It makes sense to him that the insipidness of his inward cosmos twist itself around the tangible until all is gray and muggy.

But it is, he knows, no more than a veneer. Soon the sun will be peeking timidly through the clouds, and the trees will be awakening from their slumber in shades of ever-brightening green, and life will blossom with a fierceness reserved for the mindless creatures of the world, unaware that all springs have their end. And Mulder resents them, as he lately resents any reminder that the world can be bright and vibrant when his own balances on a knife’s edge, the passing days announcing themselves like bell tolls as they move towards inevitable, crushing darkness.

Hear the tolling of the bells — he recites in his head, and smiles, cold.

Sitting in his office, mindlessly reading through long-memorized files, time seems to stretch and contract as Mulder counts the minutes until Scully arrives. Nothing makes much sense anymore, nothing outside of her clicking heels on the concrete floor, the heady spiciness of her expensive perfume, the mellow contralto of her voice as it catches on each syllable of his name. She is the steadiest, most fragile thing in his life.

She comes in as she always does, unobtrusively, sipping on the fancy coffee she occasionally treats herself to, crisp and warm as the shades of autumn in her hair.

“Morning, Mulder,” is thrown businesslike over her shoulder as she hangs her coat, nothing but the angle of her eyebrow betraying that she’s happy to see him.

“Morning, Scully,” is quieter, a little more content and more sorrowful.

Keeping time, time, time...

Scully can feel more and more of her fragile inner balance slipping every time she catches Mulder’s furtive glances mapping out her face across the desk.

She wants to snap at him. She wants to shake him so that he knows it isn’t fair, it isn’t fair that she’s the one required to hold all the angles of her psyche together while all of his edges fray. She hates the look on his face, the terrifying knowledge that he is storing up images of her like treasures in heaven, that in his eyes she’s already translucent and half-gone.

She’d dared to hope that death would claim her in an instant, that she would leave the world exactly as it was when she walked its twisting, inscrutable paths side by side with Mulder. In her mind, there would be no casualties, no secondary losses.

Looking at Mulder over her laptop, her eyes travel over his drooping shoulders, the downward slope of his eyebrows, the shadows under his eyes that could rival her own. I need you , she feels him scream, and it cuts her so deeply that she will, ultimately, be powerless to save him.

She can’t save either of them.

“Hey, Scully,” comes across the desk, hesitant. Lately this has been his way, seemingly afraid to disrupt her stillness with his energy.

“Yes, Mulder?”

“I just got an email from Skinner saying he’ll be sending in a file for us to look at later today.” His eyes are restless over her face, making her dizzy.

“And?” she says simply. Mulder has a point, she knows, but will take his sweet time getting to it. Her head throbs.

“Well, we’re pretty much done with the paperwork today, so maybe we can check out early and I could bring it for you to look at tonight.”

Her mind’s first instinct is to say no. There is no good reason to continue non-urgent work on a Friday night, no reason to spend more time together. He’s asking what he won’t dare ask, words and manners straw-spun signs relying on the alchemy of her silent interpretation. I realize I am asking too much , says the self-deprecating tilt to his head. Your time is too precious for me now. I can’t afford it.

A small, lopsided grin that makes his gentle eyes sparkle. But I’m asking anyway, she reads into it.

She is Icarus, balancing precariously as she flies over uncharted territory, warmed slowly into ruin by the sun in Mulder’s eyes.

“Okay, Mulder,” she says cautiously, recklessly. “I’ll see you at 8.”

She gets up to retrieve her coat, heels tap-tap-tapping on the floor, and tries not to feel guilty for allowing herself to solidify her presence in Mulder’s life a little bit more, to burrow a little deeper into his heart that will be empty before the year is out.

She’d sworn she wouldn’t be another ghost. How could she have known, then, that he’d so passionately plead to be haunted?

_____

notes: Title inspired by Mitski's amazing song, which ironically I only discovered after writing this fic. This work will be a two-parter, but while this first part was a breeze to write, the second is slowly driving me insane. Therefore, no promises as to when that will be posted. Thanks to my incredible friend @thescullyphile for reading, commenting, and cheering me on even when I felt completely discouraged. Let me know what you guys think, as always!

#my fic #txf fanfic #cancer arc #msr #mulder x scully #fox mulder #dana scully

[leonardbetts]

Hi I’m new to tumblr and to x-files fandom, but I really love your gifs. You make such beautiful edits! And if you don’t mind, could you tell me some other good blogs to follow? 💛

anon, wow thank you so much and welcome to txf :) here are some great blogs to follow:

gifs/caps/art: @verafarmiga @maxfenig @foxmoulder @chloedeckr @schizogenys @trusttnno1 @thetombrady @bidoctor @perfectopposite @mavillains @fistful-of-fandom @keanurevees @ariverofsongs @opentheskies @spooky-chihuahua @enigmaticxbee @mypanicface @burritoscully @msrafterdark @dnscully @marshmallow-xphile @skhal8 @lukesdanes @muldr @kittenscully @mulderbaby @qilliananderson @robintunney @xfileswithoutpeople

other txf blogs (fic, meta, etc.) ran by great people: @impulsive-astrophile @ms-starlight71 @baronessblixen @starrynightsforever @enwestphalie @foxywithsculls @scullysflannel @msrheadcanon @lilydalexf @scullysexual @silhouetteofacedar @iconicscullyoutfits @scullydubois @dr-scuhlly @freckleslikestars @mothst @brynstein @ro-sponsibility @softiescully @thescullyphile @foxscully @agirlcallednarelle @universalinvariant @thespookyintrovert @gaycrouton

hope this helps!! <3

#anon #sorry if we are pals and i forgot to include you #please don't be offended #i'm just old and stupid

[just-a-donut-who-reads]

SELF-REC SATURDAY

Writers here are so self-deprecating about their writing and I GET IT it's funny when we can all relate to sitting down for 3 hours and only writing "and then he died" but we need more positivity and self-love!!! So this is Self-Rec Saturday, and I want you to tell me about a piece of your writing that you're proud of or a piece you enjoyed writing :)

I'll go first: I wrote and published Questions on ao3 about a month ago - Fandom: x files, pairing: M/S - it's pretty short but I had fun writing this, and I especially like it because it's different from my usual writing style and that adds some ✨spice✨ XD

Tagging mutuals that I know write (but if I haven't tagged you feel free to hop in!): @janewaystolemyheart @captaincarriekathryncoffee @binguystan @its-all-ineffable @thesadchicken @thescullyphile @more-like-reyna @captn-sh

#this isn't my tactic for finding good shit to read i swear 🙃

[deathsbestgirl]

Finding out that you ship Xena and Gabrielle AND Emma and Regina AND Jane and Maura…be still my heart. Do you have any posts relating to any of these characters similar to your X Files posts? I love reading your thoughts!

i don't!! i deleted my sq blog years ago and the only posts i know how to find are like. polyam ships lol (and i had soooo many different names 😭 rainbowescapades was one?)

as for xena & gabrielle i don't think i have any thoughts 😂 like, i'm kind of just in awe of them, and it's such a special show because it doesn't take itself too seriously.

and jane & maura, too blinded by the writer & angie harmon to be able to talk about it like i do x files/mulder & scully

#asks #thescullyphile

[randomfoggytiger]

X-Files Collector's Edition: Diana Fowl(ey) Play-- Part I: S1-S5

A part of my soul is dying that I don't have the time to fully flesh out these lists in more detailed order... BUT that would be too time consuming, and I'd rather live. (But very fitting for this woman's fic lists, is it not?)

Loose chronological order below~

Maidenjedi’s  

Discovery

""She'd never been in this part of the building before. In fact, until Fox had grabbed her hand and told her with an excited glint in his eyes that he'd "found the answers," she hadn't even known there was a basement in the J. Edgar Hoover building.

That glint was in his eyes as he pressed the elevator buttons. He was practically standing on the tips of his toes, bouncing a little like a kid at the ice cream counter. She couldn't help but laugh, and at the sound he cocked his head at her, grinning.""

Pre-S1 Mulder's life is looking up: he's found a basement filled with answers for his sister, and a partner that returns his romantic overtures.

Keep Me Here

""I can smell it. Steak. What's the occasion?"

Any other man in the world wouldn't have noticed her gaze shift, her jaw muscles clench ever so slightly. 

Any other man but Fox Mulder wouldn't have registered these things.""

Diana is about to leave; but Mulder sweeps in and announces he's found questions and answers in the files. She puts it off for now.

Something Strange

""Her flight here had been quicker than the one she'd left town on. The airport was cleaner, and security was a little tighter. The economy was better and the news was more upbeat.

This was returning, she thought. Coming back to find things changed. Better, she thought in the cab that had new license plates and had been made in 1994. Worse, too, she thought when the driver turned on the radio and a song with cursing lyrics and too much bass filled the car.""

Diana is back in town in time for the events of The End.

I saw the mountain in the back come a tumblin'

""She kicked her shoes off, shoes that had bloodstains on them, shoes permanently ruined by a foolish quest for the truth....

She only had one other pair with her, though, and they weren't even the comfortable kind.

She hadn't expected to stay here. Or hadn't wanted to. One of the two.""

Post The End Diana believes she's the hero, vainly trying to get around Skinner's concealment of Mulder's location while battling the disrespect from Krycek and CSM.

Kelly Keil’s (FFN) 

155 Words - Blue Christmas in July

""Fox, I'm in the middle of something." Files cover the table before her, threatening to push a poinsettia onto the floor. "Can't it wait?""

Pre-S1 Diana rebuffs Mulder's mistletoe overtures; and later lives to regret it.

winter baby/typicrobots's

Trival Things

""Her new apartment is unfamiliar and cold, with a couch that casts strange shadows in the dark. She bumps into the coffee table too often. It's not in the right place.

Fox leaves messages on her answering machine. They start off worried, then gradually evolve into angry.""

Pre-S1 Diana leaves; and feels sorry for herself afterwards.

@i-gaze-at-scully’s (Ao3)

Prequel (Ao3)

""Eventually, he laughs again. He stops watching them ritualistically and starts popping them in when he wants to unwind.""

Pre-S1 Mulder's movie collection was what was left of Diana; and he rewatches every day to "reclaim" them.

Departure

""Leaves for work in the morning before he wakes, leaves no note. She takes the suitcase from their closet and slowly fills it, returning it to its hiding place each day a little fuller.

Folding the blouse she was wearing the first day she met him, she closes her eyes and whispers to herself. I am not a coward. She makes herself believe it.""

Pre-S1 Diana watches as Mulder silently retreats to his bedroom after her breakup news.

@scullywolf’s (Ao3)

Fictober Drabbles - Day 3

""Diana once remarked how appropriate it was that his office was in the basement. “The Fox’s den” she called it, and he blushed and thought her so clever. Infatuation will do that; if anyone else had said it, he’d have rolled his eyes.""

Pre-S1 Mulder's infatuation with Diana turns to a bitter sting when she leaves. Then Scully knocks.

Fictober Drabbles - Day 27

""She’d heard the stories, of course. Old habits die hard, don’t they, Fox? But once she’s actually back and able to see things for herself, she doesn’t get it. Agent Scully is pretty, certainly, but she’s hardly his type. Maybe it’s all just baseless gossip after all.""

Diana is torn between believing the rumors and being completely puzzled by Mulder and Scully's behavior.

astronaught's necromance

""And then the dead started writing back.

This was the crux of Fox Mulder’s interest of course, and the reason that he and Diana were in Albuquerque that summer. There were an astonishing number of X-Files that featured either automatic writing or spirit communication or both, but Horace Steel’s was one of the few that seemed to have any credibility. You encountered a lot of schizophrenia in parapsychology, it being the go-to diagnosis for people who saw and heard things that they shouldn’t. The correct diagnosis, more often than not. And if it wasn’t that, it was any number of other increasingly obscure psychoses. But Horace Steel’s chart mentioned only the hypergraphia and post-traumatic stress.

“Oh I never told them about the dead,” said Horace softly. “I learned my lesson.""

Post Redux II Mulder is stalling any further moves with Scully, nervous to "lose" after having almost lost her so recently. As they autopsy and investigate their way through an unsolved case, he recalls an early X-File he had investigated when Diana was still around-- the man who was committed after writing letters during and post WW II.

@admiralty-xfd's (Ao3) sneak peek

""Part of him had wanted to see her again someday. He wasn’t sure why. They weren’t compatible anymore, and Diana had made that very clear before she walked out on him.

But something between them remained unresolved. He might have never realized or been affected by it all this time but here it was, here she was, standing in front of him again in the flesh after so many years of forgetting.

He’d wanted to forget.""

The End Mulder freezes up when Diana returns; and tries (vainly) to keep her and Scully away from each other.  

zulu’s Folie a Deux

""No one guessed the cost of her vigil. In a conspiracy of thousands, each conspirator is still alone. The magicians had ushered Diana past the curtain. She had learned the operation of the great machines that bellowed for attention, the projector that threw up faces for people to blame. She had watched the light and shadow show for years; she knew how much was real, how much was fabrication. The women she studied lived in ignorance, and never truly saw her.

Dana Scully was different. Puppet strings bound her hand and foot. They pulled her in so many directions she was nearly torn apart, but time after time she found a place to stand and be strong. She could see that the magicians were charlatans; she was closer than she knew to the secrets. Diana, for her part, had spent too long guarding them. She'd traded too much for knowledge, and the greatest price of all were the days when the bargain seemed fair.""

Diana mastered the art of invisibility; but is shocked that Scully "sees" her. (I usually stop reading after she deflects Scully's confrontation, because it becomes an AU after that.)

Christine Leigh’s (Ao3, LiveJournal) The Man Who Got Away

""He's the man she never wanted to let go, and now that she has him back in her sight, she must be extremely cautious. She's known him better than anyone and is well aware that he will smell the lie on her as surely as he must the Chanel No. 5 she wears if she isn't careful of every move in this game. That he is still here and as obsessed as ever with the X-Files is something that, while not coming as a complete surprise when the assignment had been laid out in detail for her, did seem a delicious bonus to the job."" 

The End Diana thinks she can waltz in and take Mulder right back, stinging poor little Scully's heart in the process.  

@thescullyphile’s (Ao3) Succession

""Dull waves of emotion washed over her as she stared up at the ceiling, anger and hurt and disappointment settling as an almost tangible heaviness as she thought back to that hospital room, the moment when Diana Fowley had taken Mulder’s hand, and he had let her. Scully’s distress was more of a deep ache than a smarting pain, and the urge to cry was curiously absent.""

The End Scully is processing Mulder's weird loyalty to Diana.

@lepus-arcticus​‘s 30. Interlude

""Despite everything she’s read about what he’s been through, what he’s done, he’s still so good, good to his core. Incorruptible, more powerful in his convictions than ever. He fills the room with his heat and intensity, like a wildfire, like sunlight. His capacity for forgiveness staggers her, his open, affectionate touches, his familiar, intimate gaze. She almost wishes he was angry, almost wishes she had to work harder for it. Foxes shouldn’t be this easy to trap.  That new partner of his is a little she-wolf too, all scowl and shadow, and Diana thinks she’d like her in a different, better life."" 

The End Diana is completely wrapped up in her sycophantic perspective as she surveys her ex and his new partner.

EPurSeMouve's Lunch

""Two little girls, with heads of brown and red, fighting over a doll, pulling back and forth on his plastic loafers, his suit-clad shoulders. Back and forth, back and forth - until the brown-haired girl stops.

"He belongs with me. We're the same. It was always meant to be."

And in that one second of distraction, she pulls the doll free.

Her smile is not so innocent.""

Diana takes Scully out for lunch, stabbing her and trying to assert an upper hand. Scully is not to be outmaneuvered.

Enjoy!

#txf #x-files #xf fanfic #fic #Collector's Edition #mine #Maidenjedi #Kelly Keil #winter baby #spooky alien #astronaught #admiralty-xfd #admiralty #zulu #Christine Leigh #thescullyphile #lepus-arcticus #EPurSeMouve #scullywolf #Diana Fowl(ey) Play #Part I #the x files #S1-S5

[thatfragilecapricorn30]

i was tagged by @randomfoggytiger - thank you! 💕

Three Ships: i've done this a few times and now i'm hitting the bottom of the barrel 😂 msr always and forever <3 then leslie/ben from parks and rec and eleanor/chidi from the good place

First Ship: nancy drew & ned (in the books!)

Last Song: bleeding out by chance pena

Last Movie: started watching 'best in show' last night but didn't get to finish it

Currently Reading: nettle & bone by t. kingfisher

Currently Watching: s3 of better call saul & s6 of black mirror

Currently Writing: i need to start writing my fic for the slow burn exchange! luckily it's not due until decemeber but i'm trying not to procrastinate like i usually do.

tagging @jewish-mulder, @cyb3rpeach, @thescullyphile, @suitablyaggrieved, @enigmaticxbee

#tag games

[enigmaticxbee]

Tagged by @deathsbestgirl thanks 💕

Show your 4 favorite ships and let your mutuals assume what your concept of romance is

1. Mulder & Scully - The X-Files

2. Buffy & Spike - Buffy the Vampire Slayer

3. Philip & Elizabeth - The Americans

4. Doug & Carol - E.R.

Tagging @edierone @eeriemusick @freckleslikestars @thescullyphile @neopuff @amplifyme

#3 out of 4 are from my teenage years #I just don’t ship like I used to #tag game

[just-a-donut-who-got-deleted]

Hey guys it’s me! If you couldn’t tell by my icon and my url, I was @/just-a-donut-who-reads and my blog got deleted by tumblr >:(... I’ve made a temporary blog here to find out how I can get my account back because I know it’s happened to some of you before...

Tagging some of my lovely mutuals @captaincarriekathryncoffee @hyacinths-on-my-grave (why can’t I tag you?) @lady0fthehunt @queen-of-love-and-beauty @1-800-get-sherlocked @thescullyphile - do any of you know what I can do to get my blog back besides contacting tumblr support?

Special thank you to @janewaystolemyheart for fielding for me when I was gone, you’re an angel and I love you💜💙

[thescullyphile]

you should make an ao3 🥺

Upon your request, anon, I have! You can find me at ‘thescullyphile’ on ao3 now (I’d link but I can’t on mobile/browser). I didn’t think there’d be any demand for stories as short as the ones I write on ao3, but if you want it I’m happy to give it! I’ve only got one story uploaded atm, but I’ll work on getting the rest up and posted :)

[impulsive-astrophile]

Tagged by @iconicscullyoutfits and @thescullyphile - ❤️❤️

name: Chase / gender: man / star sign: pisces / height: 5'4" (~162-163 cm) / hogwarts house: hufflepuff / favorite animal: lowkey can't pick a favorite / cats or dogs: both ❤️ / blankets you sleep with: 1 sheet in summer, soft, thick blanket or weighted blanket in winter / reasons for url: I love stars and I am/was impulsive / dream job: nurse, or working for the peace corps or something similar / why i made this blog: [redacted]

Tagging: @msrheadcanon @silhouetteofacedar @foxscully @ariverofsongs @midwest-cryptid @baronessblixen @tinglingworld @scullysexual @mulders-ufo-party @mypanicface @knowleitall-super-soldier @agirlcallednarelle @enigmaticxbee @mouldyandskulls @gillywitch @amazalina @suitablyaggrieved (no pressure, + sorry if you've already been tagged! I can never keep track) and anyone I forgot/wants to do this 👀

#Tag game #Amazing mutuals #❤️❤️

[thespookyintrovert]

Chiaroscuro

Little Post-Redux thing. Dedicated to @thescullyphile, for being one of the awesomest human beings I know. 

Tagging @today-in-fic

Read on AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29042460

____

Scully has felt herself wrapped in the silence of death for a long time. Now, hands languidly caressing the sheets she’d come to think of as her shroud, the notes of silence seem to play a tune of expectation. Life, it whispers. It’ll be a while before she can truly begin to see it as anything more than the absence of death.

It is a night for vigils, she muses, comfortable in the loud stillness of a hospital during the graveyard shift. She can still faintly hear the echoes of song coming from the room next to hers. The haunting contralto of a middle aged woman seeps through the cracks into the pensive darkness, and with it the voice of heaven.

Oft have we met in gladness, And we shall meet again, All sorrow left behind us, Good night, till then…

In a few days, no melody will overpower the theme of sorrow playing on the other side of the wall — in death silence reigns supreme. And yet, Scully thinks, eyes traveling over the empty room, sometimes life is the same. She never would have expected the lingering melancholy that comes from brushing hands with death and being again admitted into the embrace of the living. She feels translucent, still, not yet resettled into the vessel of her own body. The future spreads out ahead, crepuscular and still unmade, hastily rewriting pages torn off by cancer. This hospital room is limbo, a place between two worlds where the physical enters to attend its own funeral.

Limbo is where her lips receive the wine of the Extreme Unction and she tastes blood running down her throat. Limbo is where Bill tells her stories from their childhood and reads to her from Moby Dick. Limbo smells of Maggie’s perfume, the only scent Scully deemed capable of erasing the smell of death from her nostrils. Limbo is so often Mulder, his hand in hers and his lips on her cheeks; limbo dwelt in his eyes of dusk all those times she felt as if her existence on this plane would end only to go on in his gaze. Limbo seems to her to have contained so much life that she cannot help but mourn the day when it will disappear into the noise of continued existence.

The door clicks open and she has the faint sense of watching her heart walk back into the room. She knows it’s Mulder, knows it because he’s her very own insomniac, but knows it instinctively  because restless spirits always come when summoned. Her smile is caught on the shaft of light coming in through the door and she wonders why it’s so much easier to love him in the dark.

“I thought you’d be asleep,” Mulder says, coming to sit by her, not quite as close as he used to. Will she ever own him as completely as she did when it was too late to have him?

Her hand finds its way to wrap around his forearm. “Can’t sleep. Too much excitement, I think. What are you still doing here, Mulder? You look exhausted.” So many times over the past few days Scully had felt certain that with each touch he’d been silently giving to her every ounce of life within him, as if urging her to stay long enough to watch him fade away. She doesn’t tell her fingers to reach up and caress the purplish bags under his eyes, doesn’t tell her mouth to soften into the smile he’d stolen from her some four years ago and never given back.

“Just wanted to check in on you.” Her hand remains on his cheek as she allows Mulder to feel her warmth, allows his restive gaze to travel the extent of her, to turn her once again solid. Once satisfied, he gives her the signature Mulder grin that she’d like to write her name on someday.

“Okay?” she asks. His nod is sheepish and unapologetic.

Scully settles back into the pillow, never in her life as content as she is when she finds herself the object of that reverent fixation in his eyes of brume. She doesn’t want him to leave, but four years in she’s picked up on the rhythm of loving Mulder — he’s only hers between goodbyes.

“You should get some rest.” Her voice drags, present ringing with past echoes of a night just like this, down in the basement. Why is it so easy to love him in the dark?

Mulder’s laughter is low, rough with a brew of joy and sleep deprivation she could get drunk on. They laugh and smile at each other with the heady knowledge that to break away is impossible.

When he topples forward to rest his head on her shoulder — still laughing softly, and are those tears? — Scully welcomes his weight with open arms and a heart that feels too full to remain securely in her chest.

“You’re delirious,” she snorts against his hair, holding his head up in her hands to pepper playful kisses all across his face. His laugh is absolutely delighted now, high on the endorphin-induced thrill of lips against feverish skin. I’m alive! she says without words. Every butterfly touch seems to solidify her a little bit more.

Mulder comically opens one eye, still smiling so wide she wants to press her cheek against his lips instead.

“I’m delirious…” he agrees, looking into her face for a moment. In the next, he’s dodging away from her hands and leaning down again to add in her ear “…ly happy.” Ever the grown-up, he marks his words by blowing into her ear.

She squirms and laughs — outraged, delighted, drunk on the existential cocktail of so much life and so much love. Soon he’s the one pressing giddy lips to her face, and she closes her eyes to bask in it. When his kisses turn soft, she reads Mulder’s touches like morse code: one quick peck to the tip of her nose is adoration, in two to each of her cheeks she reads sweet ownership, when his lips press into the spot marked his on her forehead she knows it to be an oath of allegiance, a pledge to save her over and over again.

His name is a sigh, a prayer, and she opens her eyes to stare into the kaleidoscopic quality of his gentle gaze, to see his head lower one final time as lips meet in greeting, in acceptance, in longing fulfilled and incomplete. In the oscillating rhythm she presses her own code into his lips as he writes his message on hers. She thinks they might be saying the same thing.

Mulder spends the night tucked against Scully on the tiny bed, breathing softly against her collarbone in hushed sleep. Her mind never wanders into slumber, pinned down on earth by the solid weight of him. When dawn first reaches its rosy fingers into the room, she watches transfixed as it touches each beloved feature with the ethereal glow of morning, paints his hair in shades of molten gold.  

“Mulder,” she breathes into his hair. “It is so easy to love you in the light.”

#my fic #redux #redux ii #dana scully #fox mulder #msr #mulder x scully #sculder #txf fanfic #I did a sly little reference to The Odyssey for no reason whatsoever