#theres not enough kalulu!

[peebleswrites]

Slight spoilers for the Code Geass Movie (proceed with caution)

A/N: You ever just get in one of those moods where there’s an urge to revisit a series out of nowhere? That was me, like, all this week. Because I haven’t really been into Code Geass since the movie was released back in May of last year (gosh, I can’t believe time has gone by so quickly).

Anyway! I got back into it and I started remembering the movie and how much I enjoyed it. But then i remembered the parts I didn’t like so much. Specifically what was done with Kallen. I’ll tell you up front, I love me some Kallen. To me, she is best girl aside from Euphie. And I just didn’t like her scenes with Lelouch. I got so much second hand embarrassment just watching how she kind of threw herself into him and was a sobbing mess like...wtf.

So, like any self respecting member of a fandom who’s left unsatisfied with a piece of fictional media, I turned to fanfiction! Unsurprisingly, there’s not a lot of Kalulu fans anymore. In fact, I was saddened to find out that much of the fandom kind of hates Kallen. Which is really discouraging because she’s so badass! She’s always been badass and I guess...she doesn’t fit in the typical waifu box despite the many useless fanservice scenes they shoved down our throats.

ANYWAY. To make a long story short, I threw together a little Kalulu fic. In honor of all those who still ship Lelocuh and Kallen but don’t get enough love! THIS IS FOR US.

Enjoy~.

His Light, a Code Geass Fanfiction


“Kallen, you about ready? I hear he’ll be landing soon.” Ohgi’s voice sounded from behind the door, muffled by the barrier between them. The sound jarred her out of this stunned state of perpetual staring into the long mirror with eyes that never truly focused on her own reflection.

“Yes, I’ll be out in second.” It was strange, she had to admit, being back at Ashford after all this time. Strange to walk the halls, the campus grounds. Strange to be in her Black Knight uniform, surrounded by fellow Black Knight personnel and not her friends, not members of the student council.

Not yet, anyway.

She was sure they chose her to escort him for a number of reasons. Her relationship to him, their past together, and given that out of all of them, she’d be the one least likely to kill him. It made sense, but it was also a bit coincidental. And bittersweet.

When all this is over, will you return to Ashford with me?

It was perhaps the last real thing he ever asked of her. Shortly after, she was captured and held prisoner for a number of days. And when she was finally released, the Lelouch she’d come to know was no more and in his place was a shell of a man who still tried to act as if he were whole.

You have to live, Kallen.

It seemed like he was always saying such things to her. The kind of thoughts that become words without much effort. A manifestation of feelings that only breach the surface. Never deep enough. Never the kind of depth she knows she deserves. Because…because…

“I'm feeling a bit anxious, do you mind if we take a walk around campus?” She didn’t pick up on it. Not right away, at least. That this was his final attempt to extend a meeting between them. That after this, there would be no more rendezvous. No more interactions. No more banter. No more…anything.

“I thought it was strange you picked this place. There are a lot of memories here. Though I can’t imagine this is what you meant when you asked me to return to Ashford with you.” She started off lightly, taking a steady pace just far enough in front of him to hold a conversation privately.

“Then again, you’ve always been hard to read. Maybe this is what you meant, after all. I guess it’s not for me to know…” There was a brief pause as she alluded to a poignant fact. There were a lot of matters concerning him that just weren’t for her to know. She had to accept that.

“You know I…I really didn’t like you, at first. And when I found out you were Zero, the one I’d entrusted my brother’s dream to, I didn’t know how to feel. I had to stop separating Lelouch from Zero but…I was afraid of what Lelouch’s intentions were for Japan and in the long run. We weren’t your endgame, I knew that…so I ignored Lelouch’s plans in favor of Zero’s.

“Now that Zero is gone, I’m forced to face the reality of the unknown. What your actual endgame was…if it’s still the same…what’s your reason behind doing all of this…and will knowing change anything? Will it matter if I know?” They’d entered the student council clubhouse, the ballroom entrance. She moved to mount the stairs only to pause and turn toward him. There was that certain bittersweetness to her expression that even Lelouch couldn’t stand the sight of.

“It does matter. Otherwise you would’ve told me. Or said something. It matters so much that telling me is something you absolutely can’t do. It’s why you told me to live, isn’t it? Because…you…you and Suzaku are doing something only you can do.”

“And if you knew, you’d try to do it also. After all this time, you’ve finally seen right through me.” He remarked with a slight expression and inclination of his head that denoted some level of defeat at her hands. He planned very early on not to say anything. Not to give an inch. But Kallen surprised him in a way she’d never been able to. To him, she was a comforting variable that never ceased to meet his expectations.

She’d changed, somehow.

“I still don’t know what you have planned or how far you’re going to go but…those aren’t the answers I was looking for when I came here. Lelouch I…just need to know if I should still love you or not…and I think I have my answer…” Before he could react to her words, her hand rose up to cup his cheek. There was considerable distance between them, even with her heeled boots, she only reached his chin. But that didn’t matter in light of the lovely expression painted on her suddenly very bright features.

She was undoing him in ways not thought possible. His comforting variable was spiraling down a path of unknowns and it terrified yet excited him at the same time. What was she going to do? What would she say? How would he feel in the end? He’d done so well to school his features but failed at keeping her completely in the dark.

“No matter what, I’ll always love you.” He’d thought about it bleakly one evening not too long ago. Since the birth of the requiem, he’d thought a lot about what he’d lost and what he was losing and what he’d yet to lose but would inevitably slip through his fingers. Kallen was one of those things and while he would’ve called himself content maybe even five minutes ago with such an outcome, there’s this inner raging turmoil that’s begging to differ.

This love. This unconditional love. Because Kallen knows him. Knows of his sins and shortcomings. Has seen him at his lowest and didn’t indulge him in a moment of weakness but rather took the high road to bring him up out of the darkness. She was a light. Perhaps she’d always been a light but now, it seemed she shone brighter than ever.

And with him willingly paving down a path of perpetual darkness, a light as bright as hers is impossible to ignore.

“This is as far as I go…” A hushed whisper.

“The meeting will commence in the gymnasium.” She was leaving. Her hand had fallen from his cheek and the warmth soon left shortly afterward.

In a panicked yet fluid motion, Lelouch took hold of the woman, sweeping her into his chest with an arm curling around her waist whilst the other rested upon her cheek, just to angle her head upward as he’d every intention of kissing her.

When their lips touched, a deep feeling of longing festered within him. A feeling he expected, all things considered. It was this very feeling he dreaded and yet it was the same feeling that keep his lips attached to hers for just seconds longer than he originally intended.

He needed her light. Just a little longer.

“…I apologize. I acted on an impulse.”

“I…I understand.” She could see it in his eyes. This thing that he was doing. His mind hadn’t changed. There were specs of hesitancy gleaming insistently. But he would stay on course in the long run. So, this was it.

“Goodbye, Lelouch.” And she would let him go. His variable was back, and he hated it. He hated how he predicted her complacency and wished with rather selfish indignation that she would throw away her countenance and come with him. But then…she wouldn’t be a light. His light.

“Goodbye, Kallen.”

A/N: My take on the kiss scene between Kallen and Lelouch. I feel like Kallen’s not given enough credit in terms of knowing how Lelouch thinks at this point. She might not have known about the Zero Requiem but she had to guess that him distancing himself from her had to be some form of protecting her from his endgame.

Another thing I noticed about Kallen is her feelings of love and whether she’ll act on them or affirm them are very dependent on Lelouch’s responses. She asks him a couple of times ‘What do I mean to you?’ and never gets an answer but I think we all know she holds a special in his heart and that he believes she deserves better. Hence the ‘You have to live’ comment.

Anyway, I think it’s important for Kallen to both recognize her feelings and turn them into something more concrete by taking this last encounter to confess, rather than force a kiss on him. It shows that unconditional devotion she’s most praised for and (in this instance) triggers a rather impulsive/selfish reaction from the man in question. I hope you enjoyed this little snippet. Let me know what you think!

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