#theres no losing. he either gets paid or he gets to eat you when u fail his unsolveable riddles | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ffixaticns · 3 years

Text

* jessica alexander, ciswoman + she/her | you know scout rothschild, right? they’re twenty three, and they’ve lived in irving for, like, a year? well, their spotify wrapped says they listened to invitation by ashnikko like, a million times this year, which makes sense ‘cause they’ve got that whole born with a silver spoon in her foul mouth, hiding bruised knuckles under fingerless gloves, tireless nights spent dancing on pointe until her toes bleed & her ankles feel so brittle they could snap thing going on. i just checked and their birthday is december 2nd, so they’re a sagittarius, which is unsurprising, all things considered.

HEYO !! i’m gray & this is my babe scout ; first time playing her as jessica but !! i love her and she rly fits her vibe well i think. let’s cross our fingers together that i don’t make this intro too long okay .. yknow what let’s just hold hands. bc it probably will be for no reason bc i ramble too much haha ANYWAYS ... here we go

TW: drugs, abuse / neglect, eating disorder

born and raised in nyc ... v rich , v spoiled. her mother was a prima ballerina when she fell for one of her choreographers , and of course they were stupid and reckless so it wasn’t too long until scout came along. her mom was PISSED bc it nearly ended her career, but she was determined. two weeks after having her, she was working her ass off to lose the little baby weight she’d gained ( she was tiny af to begin with so she didn’t get v big ) she didn’t breast feed bc she didn’t want her boobs to be swollen for the next year lmao

so she was pretty much raised by a nanny !! until she was old enough to go to the studio with her parents. she loved watching them dance. it wasn’t long after her first steps before she started following in their footsteps. still, when her parents had to do a tour or various shows in a row, she would be at home with the nanny.

as soon as she was old enough, she was enrolled into ballet classes. she loved it and thought she was doing well, but her mother wasn’t quite so impressed with the training she was receiving. it wasn’t easy for her, but she decided it was time to hang her ballet shoes up and start on a new venture -- so she bought the school that scout was going to, so that she could make sure that she was getting the BEST possible training. from then on, she was pushed every day to reach her ‘full potential’.

she was always at the top of her class, she made sure of it. she wanted more than anything to make her mother proud. she never told her that she was, but by the time she was ten years old she knew what pride looked like on her mother’s face. that was good enough for her.

her parents often fought about how hard she pushed their daughter, her father disagreeing with a lot of things, arguing that she needed to start doing normal childhood things instead of focusing every waking moment on dancing. he never won -- scout refused to be a ‘normal’ child. all she wanted to do was dance. this went on well into her teenage years, always striving to be the best of the best. just like her mother was. she did whatever she had to do to stay on top, whether it be putting laxatives in her competition’s water bottle on audition day or not eating for a few days at a time to lose a few pounds. her mother didn’t bat an eye. she’d been through the same thing, for her it seemed completely normal and unproblematic. in fact, she would encourage it at times.

her relationship with her mother, as well as her relationship with dancing, was an extremely unhealthy one. the only person who could reasonably see it was her father. which is why at 21, he decided that he’d had enough and would send her away to a small town, somewhere that she could take a break from dancing and maybe find herself outside of that world. little did he know, sending her to irving would do just the opposite, as one of scout’s ballet idols now resided there ( @ambitcxious ). she was still pissed about being sent away, but at least it wouldn’t be the WORST thing in the world...

SO FAST FORWARD ; she’s been in irving for a year, and surprise, she’s still dancing ! now as addie’s little protégé, she couldn’t be happier. there’s still pressure on her to be the best she can be, but at least it’s not her mother. she’s actually able to let loose in her free time, unlike back home when she was restricted from doing anything that might distract her.

since being here, she’s probably had first times for ... so many things. ( ie getting drunk, getting high, eating whatever she wants, going out with friends, uhhhh ... sex lmao )

sooo ya girl has a LOT of pent up aggression ... especially when she first got here. one night she was at the bar and got into a fuckin’ BRAWL with some bitch & let’s just say there was no competition... after she was thrown tf out, someone approached her about joining a little underground fighting ring. told her she’d be perfect for it ... and who was she to disagree ? she’s perfect for most things, after all ~ ( potential WC ?! )

her parents send her money every 2 weeks, but still encouraged her to get a job to be more ~ independent ~ and they only send her enough really for essentials ... she gets paid to fight as long as she wins, but her cover for her parents is that she got a job at cutie pie’s diner :) sounds quite nice, keeps them from being suspicious when they call her for updates !

( tw: drugs/alcohol ) loves to get drunk and smoke weed preferably at the same time ,, dabbles with some ecstasy n molly when she feels like really letting go .. tends to stay away from coke for the most part ? she’s already kind of high strung so she doesn’t like the way it makes her feel

obviously likes to try new things !! like .. pretty much anyone could go up to her n be like ‘yo u wanna go do this?’ she’d be like ??? hell yea let’s go

will absolutely start a fight for no god damn reason ...

chaotic bisexual

THERES MORE BUT MY BRAIN IS MELTING SO IM ENDING IT

please feel free to slide into these DMs if you want to plot or like this and i’ll slide into urs either here or on disco !!

#irvingintro

11 notes · View notes

hcrris · 5 years

Text

can ….. i come in ????? have been watching unbreakable kimmy schmidt for 3 hours pretending time isnt passing , life isnt real and in fact.. i am dreaming (-: lajdfksl hey <3 im jay im 21 and i love those instagram profiles of hamsters in little clothes ( when they got little purses? ???? dont talk to me im cryin. ) below u will find info about jane harris aka literally the vine of the little kid scribbling hard like his life depended on it. shes a mess ?? but a semi enjoyable mess. a mess with good intentions. if u want to establish some connections, LIKE THIS and i will come annoy u <3 alternatively u can ease my social anxiety and msg me here or through my discord sencha tea#4035 (و ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و♡

( lily collins, cis female, she/her. ) — jane harris has been a medina complex resident for three years, now. they’re twenty-three years old, and they tend to avoid making eye contact. sometimes when i walk by B06, i hear cherry-coloured funk by cocteau twins playing. lately, i’d say they’re pretty effervescent, but sometimes that’s overwhelmed by the fact that they’re neurotic. i mean, they usually pay their rent on time, though, and that’s most important fact here.

repeatedly fixing the apartment number on the door when it swings down to a nine, a split moment of shadow after the radiance of laughter, carl sagan’s pale blue dot, a life of frequent minor accidents, constant hunger for balance overshadowed by emotional turbulence.

🇧🇦🇨🇰🇬🇷🇴🇺🇳🇩

TW ALCOHOLISM EMOTIONAL ABUSE DEPRESSION & ANXIETY !!!!! ok moving on

her parents met in art school in paris.. her mom is french and studied art history while her dad was an exchange student from california with a skewed artist mentality. it was that saccharine, toxic sort of love. her mom always felt like she needed to be the guardian angel in the relationship who would always hold him up when he was feeling down and he was feeling down….. a lot. because she was putting all that energy to save her relationship, she was drowning too but never enough to walk away. there was a lot of love there but it was twisted and uncomfortable at times

when they found out jane was on the way, it felt like they needed to suddenly grow up. her mom was ready to make changes, adapt to the new lifestyle. her dad, on the other hand, urged they rethink if this is what they want but he didn’t push for abortion.. he understood it was jane’s mothers choice to make and reassured that he would be there for the both of them no. matter. what.

but ??? the reality was he felt trapped by the idea of a child and he struggled to acknowledge and accept how quickly his life was flipping upside down and how he lost all control of it. he wanted to travel around europe ???? soak in nature, daydream and make art . but jane’s mom wanted to settle. instead of embarking on adventures after graduating, they decided to move to california.

things just seemed to fall apart like domino from then on. janes mom was lead astray.. thinking that what california would bring them was stability but instead, it was all chaos. they rushed to get married .. turned out janes father wasnt on good terms with his parents. he was irresponsible financially, put both his parents in huge debt, was blinded by his ego to ever realise his mistakes. lied constantly .. convincing janes mom that there’s light going forward. that once he finds a sponsor for his art .... once he sells his first piece ... once they see in him what he always saw in himself , he was going to make it right. and he reassured he would make it right for jane.

janes mom was so pathetically in love that she pushed through .. living in a sort of imagined world, believing that things were better than they actually were. and her dad was good at persuading that narrative. he would come home with a pocketful of cash and the bills paid. oftentimes, it was all an act. his art wasn’t selling and a lot of what he bragged about was borrowed or stolen. behind the curtain, he was absent and unmotivated. he would come home in the evening claiming that the whisky breath was celebratory but in reality, he was complaining to the barman two blocks away about how his life feels monotone .. like a french black and white movie.

the day of jane’s birth was a whole mess. her father decided to drive her mother to the hospital, knowing he had one too many. they were caught for speeding and while janes dad spent the night at a nearby station for driving under influence, her mom was at the back of a cop car, crying for one too many reasons .. jane decided to hang on for a little while longer and was born at 3am the following night. cradled in her mothers arms and her dads voice humming on the line

jane would only ever hear the romanticised version of this story from her mother. this ??? fucked up sense of security that no matter what, love conquers all. that love means supporting each other, loving each other extra when everything else falls apart. but truth is.. her mother was forced to give up her own dreams, lost all connections to her past, worked days and nights at a nursing home to support her family and pitch in to her husbands alcoholism while she’s at it. making excuses that jane was too young to contradict. all while the only source of happiness for her father was the haziness of his evenings, when he felt like floating and he could barely hold onto to his paintbrush. he was a stranger living in their basement .. more than he was ever a father

growing up, jane watched her mother mask her depression. carry empty bottles out from the basement, trying to hide it from jane .. it brought her shame. she was doing the same thing to jane that he was doing to her for all these years .. consistently expressing a certain attitude, this unwavering satisfaction for the life they are living and so ... it hardens. you start to believe it. except unlike her mother, jane was observant.. she had other lives around her to compare to her own, voices of reason that pierced through the skewed perception her mother drilled into her skull. when jane grew into her skin, she felt so ... disgusted and angry. she tried to pull her mother out of her fantasy but nothing worked.

through her high school years, she felt helpless .. her home life was a nightmare and she made every possible attempt to stay out of it for as long as possible. she took on jobs and extracurriculars .. stayed at her friends’ house until she couldn’t. and she would think.. think so hard, she would start crying. pushing her own problems away .. in her head, she would imagine herself in a different skin, a different place. it was the only way she could calm her breathing. only to have to battle the same thoughts the following morning

after graduating high school, jane went to community college for product management got a job offering after her placement at a big company and moved out shortly after ( and MOVED IN to medina... can i get a yee yee ) .. she got insurance for the first time in her life and eats too many of free pizza slices at work to save up on groceries every week <3

she doesn’t visit her parents bc she no longer feels like her mother is on her team. she’s lived a maddening and terribly draining life and living alone has brought her deserving peace.. although she’d rather keep contact with her mother to a minimum, its obvious that jane is her mothers anchor. if she feels as though her daughter is not fighting for her, she breaks down.. as much as jane wants to run away from her past, it always seems to catch up

if ur still reading literally who are u lafjdkl. ill be done schoon ..... oof

🇨🇭🇦🇷🇦🇨🇹🇪🇷 🇹🇷🇦🇮🇹🇸

if they are friends ... jane. will. talk. ur. ear. off. but probably not for the right reasons lol .. she has never been assessed by a professional, isn’t taking any treatment but she definitely needs it :( shes a chronic overthinker.. the voice in her head keeps chattering away most of the time which gets a little nauseating. she hates silence and feels like she needs to fill it with words. she often says the wrong things .. to the wrong people ... at the WRONG time and she is very aware of it. its the culprit for her self doubt and struggle to open up emotionally to the people shes close to. shes very critical towards herself, she micro analyses everything from the way she acts, the way she looks and what she says. shes also not a fan of confrontation !!!!!!!BUT!!!!!!!!!!!

she is a FIREBALL when she stands up for others. i dont know how she hasnt gotten into a physical fight yet. she would literally rip ur side mirror off ur car if u didnt wait for an old lady to cross the street. is intense in every possible way. if shes angry, shes angry and impulsive and out of control, when she is in love, she feels it in her bones and simultaneously wants to rip her hair out, when she’s passionate about something, she is persistent until she isn’t and when she loses motivation, everything feels bleak .. theres never any emotional balance, even though she fights so hard for it every day

likes sci fi movies .. literally when they are Floating in space ???? SIGN! JANE! THE! FUCK! UP! letterboxd is probably her favorite app. sometimes she will post a review, read it over and over, find something wrong with what she said and then delete it. shes very neurotic. she either has good days where she can comfortably be herself or bad days, when it feels like everyone is judging her every move when in reality. ... it is always .. all in her head.

and she is mostly in her head. she creates fantasies of her life, relationships platonic and romantic and as a result, nothing ever seems to measure up. she feels secure in her fantasies but oftentimes when it hits her that they are just that, fantasies, she ... feels really alone.

will trip over her own feet . has like 5 bruises from washing the dishes </3

she works as a part of a product design team in a big company.. probably has the knowledge to move up the tier but does not have the courage to stand up for herself . she doesnt believe in herself and is kind of a pessimist .......

got high one night and decided she wants to start an uber ....... only for women. but doesnt think its a good ide a (its a good idea. id like to think in 10 years time ... bitch made it)

really weird. likes eating broad beans and frozen strawberries .. will literally eat a lemon.

she will have different interests every week but never seems to be any good at anything ???????????? makes her sad.

claims tidying up with marie kondo changed her life LAKJDSKLDJ

*draws curtains* anybody else tired?

#mediocre.intro #»-.-°-ỽ-⸰-ｓｈｕｔ-ｕｒ-ｔｒａｐ-⸰-ỽ-°-.-«#4 hrs ago : yea ...... i could finish this intro in like 2 hours :) why not. whats gonna stop me ???? writing doesnt take that long.#it takes literally ?? 2 miliseconds. lol .......#im shtupid !!!!! have to take a shower. this is longer than all shakespeare plays combined.#if u read this im manifasting a good year for u.

5 notes · View notes

datingadviceonreddit · 7 years

Link

So theres this guy, and we met through my internship. He's from a different country, and I'm from the USA, but hes got an internship here for a longer time than me. Hes gonna be here for his internship in my hometown for a year and im going back to my last year of school this Sunday.But let me give some bg. So ironically we were both visiting another city the same weekend a weekend ago, and agreed we'd meet up if we were free. So that Saturday we met up and were together practically the whole day (8 hrs). 😭 He came to see friends and i was with family, but we both left them to hang out with eachother. Prior to this i thought he liked me bc of the way he acted but this is when it really assured me he did.So we hung out the whole day, me, initially never thinking this would be a 'date', it most definitely did. He paid for everything like a true gentlemen and we were together the whole day, no hand holding, nothing of that such, just great company and great conversation. We had some drinks, and then it was finally time for us to split. But he made sure to get me to where I was going before he left me, and i remember the place we were at was super crowded and i was like im going to hold ur arm bc at that point we kept losing eachother. Then eventually he goes, this is uncomfortable and intertwines his hand with mine. We get to where i was headed, hug and he leaves.I was in a daze and confused tbh bc i didnt know how to feel, hes not someone i originally thought I liked but, i liked holding his hand, I'm not going to lie. I SHOULD ALSO MENTION, i've never held any other guys hand in my life or have gone on a date, none of it. So these are about to be alot of firsts.Then as of recently after that, we texted a bit that following sunday and then he just stopped texting, and we didnt contact all of last week, until he asked me to go to this festival this past Saturday. But that didn't end up happening cause I wasn't really in the mood but then he was like, 'well why dont we do something else tonight, like go out and eat?' And idk how I was feeling, but I said sure!So we met up, and again, we had great conversation, its not hard to speak to him, i actually enjoy it. And he once again paid for everything. And by the end of the night we were holding hands again and it was honestly great. And then he eventually pulled me aside, we were on the roof of a club. He grabbed my hands and was like 'I really like you...' and then asked me if i liked him too. And i really didnt know how to feel or what to say, i was so taken off guard a bit. But i told him i liked him too.. and then he asked if he could kiss me. Now ive only kissed one person before him when i was in HS and it was just pecks. So when he asked again, i was so shocked but i told him 'yeah' and when he went for it, it was awkward bc i never 'made out' b4 and i went for the disney kiss and he went for the 'tongue' should i say? 😩Either way we both stopped and i think he thought i didn't want to kiss him but i explained to him i never did this before and we, well I, eventually got in the groove of it. It was nice, and honestly i cant stop thinking about it. And when we were done he was like 'well u can come back to my place or i can get u an uber home?' And that took me off guard bc i was most def going home. And thats when I got really confused bc what does he want?!I asked him after we left what he knew he liked me and why. He said bc he thinks I'm very interesting, and smart and i pulled it out of him, but he said 'hot' as well lol. And then i kissed him once more snd got into my uber.Idk. I guess my question is, is all he wanted was a one night stand thing or do u think he wants or wanted something more with me? I'm off to college in a week and hes going to be here. I don't know how to feel or think rn, i'm really confused. And why is it im always the last one to send a message, and why does he go on these intervals of just not msging me. But then goes out with me, and pays for everything and talks with me forever, like we genuinely have good conversations. But why'd he ask me to comr over to his place? I'm sorry, but im most definitely not that kind of girl. I just want some ppls two cents on this. What does he want from me? :( via /r/dating_advice

#dating #dating advice #reddit

0 notes