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#it takes literally ?? 2 miliseconds. lol .......
hcrris · 5 years
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can ….. i come in ????? have been watching unbreakable kimmy schmidt for 3 hours pretending time isnt passing , life isnt real and in fact.. i am dreaming (-: lajdfksl hey <3 im jay im 21 and i love those instagram profiles of hamsters in little clothes ( when they got little purses? ???? dont talk to me im cryin. ) below u will find info about jane harris aka literally the vine of the little kid scribbling hard like his life depended on it. shes a mess ?? but a semi enjoyable mess. a mess with good intentions. if u want to establish some connections, LIKE THIS and i will come annoy u <3 alternatively u can ease my social anxiety and msg me here or through my discord sencha tea#4035 (و ˃̵ᴗ˂̵)و♡
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( lily collins, cis female, she/her. ) — jane harris has been a medina complex resident for three years, now. they’re twenty-three years old, and they tend to avoid making eye contact. sometimes when i walk by B06, i hear cherry-coloured funk by cocteau twins playing. lately, i’d say they’re pretty effervescent, but sometimes that’s overwhelmed by the fact that they’re neurotic. i mean, they usually pay their rent on time, though, and that’s most important fact here.
repeatedly fixing the apartment number on the door when it swings down to a nine, a split moment of shadow after the radiance of laughter, carl sagan’s pale blue dot, a life of frequent minor accidents, constant hunger for balance overshadowed by emotional turbulence.
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TW ALCOHOLISM EMOTIONAL ABUSE DEPRESSION & ANXIETY !!!!! ok moving on
her parents met in art school in paris.. her mom is french and studied art history while her dad was an exchange student from california with a skewed artist mentality. it was that saccharine, toxic sort of love. her mom always felt like she needed to be the guardian angel in the relationship who would always hold him up when he was feeling down and he was feeling down….. a lot. because she was putting all that energy to save her relationship, she was drowning too but never enough to walk away. there was a lot of love there but it was twisted and uncomfortable at times
when they found out jane was on the way, it felt like they needed to suddenly grow up. her mom was ready to make changes, adapt to the new lifestyle. her dad, on the other hand, urged they rethink if this is what they want but he didn’t push for abortion.. he understood it was jane’s mothers choice to make and reassured that he would be there for the both of them no. matter. what. 
but ??? the reality was he felt trapped by the idea of a child and he struggled to acknowledge and accept how quickly his life was flipping upside down and how he lost all control of it. he wanted to travel around europe ???? soak in nature, daydream and make art . but jane’s mom wanted to settle. instead of embarking on adventures after graduating, they decided to move to california. 
things just seemed to fall apart like domino from then on. janes mom was lead astray.. thinking that what california would bring them was stability but instead, it was all chaos. they rushed to get married .. turned out janes father wasnt on good terms with his parents. he was irresponsible financially, put both his parents in huge debt, was blinded by his ego to ever realise his mistakes. lied constantly .. convincing janes mom that there’s light going forward. that once he finds a sponsor for his art .... once he sells his first piece ... once they see in him what he always saw in himself , he was going to make it right. and he reassured he would make it right for jane.
janes mom was so pathetically in love that she pushed through .. living in a sort of imagined world, believing that things were better than they actually were. and her dad was good at persuading that narrative. he would come home with a pocketful of cash and the bills paid. oftentimes, it was all an act. his art wasn’t selling and a lot of what he bragged about was borrowed or stolen. behind the curtain, he was absent and unmotivated. he would come home in the evening claiming that the whisky breath was celebratory but in reality, he was complaining to the barman two blocks away about how his life feels monotone .. like a french black and white movie.  
the day of jane’s birth was a whole mess. her father decided to drive her mother to the hospital, knowing he had one too many. they were caught for speeding and while janes dad spent the night at a nearby station for driving under influence, her mom was at the back of a cop car, crying for one too many reasons .. jane decided to hang on for a little while longer and was born at 3am the following night. cradled in her mothers arms and her dads voice humming on the line
jane would only ever hear the romanticised version of this story from her mother. this ??? fucked up sense of security that no matter what, love conquers all. that love means supporting each other, loving each other extra when everything else falls apart. but truth is.. her mother was forced to give up her own dreams, lost all connections to her past, worked days and nights at a nursing home to support her family and pitch in to her husbands alcoholism while she’s at it. making excuses that jane was too young to contradict. all while the only source of happiness for her father was the haziness of his evenings, when he felt like floating and he could barely hold onto to his paintbrush. he was a stranger living in their basement .. more than he was ever a father 
growing up, jane watched her mother mask her depression. carry empty bottles out from the basement, trying to hide it from jane .. it brought her shame. she was doing the same thing to jane that he was doing to her for all these years .. consistently expressing a certain attitude, this unwavering satisfaction for the life they are living and so ... it hardens. you start to believe it. except unlike her mother, jane was observant.. she had other lives around her to compare to her own, voices of reason that pierced through the skewed perception her mother drilled into her skull. when jane grew into her skin, she felt so ... disgusted and angry. she tried to pull her mother out of her fantasy but nothing worked. 
through her high school years, she felt helpless .. her home life was a nightmare and she made every possible attempt to stay out of it for as long as possible. she took on jobs and extracurriculars .. stayed at her friends’ house until she couldn’t. and she would think.. think so hard, she would start crying. pushing her own problems away .. in her head, she would imagine herself in a different skin, a different place. it was the only way she could calm her breathing. only to have to battle the same thoughts the following morning
after graduating high school, jane went to community college for product management got a job offering after her placement at a big company and moved out shortly after ( and MOVED IN to medina... can i get a yee yee ) .. she got insurance for the first time in her life and eats too many of free pizza slices at work to save up on groceries every week <3
she doesn’t visit her parents bc she no longer feels like her mother is on her team. she’s lived a maddening and terribly draining life and living alone has brought her deserving peace.. although she’d rather keep contact with her mother to a minimum, its obvious that jane is her mothers anchor. if she feels as though her daughter is not fighting for her, she breaks down.. as much as jane wants to run away from her past, it always seems to catch up 
if ur still reading literally who are u lafjdkl. ill be done schoon ..... oof 
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if they are friends ... jane. will. talk. ur. ear. off. but probably not for the right reasons lol .. she has never been assessed by a professional, isn’t taking any treatment but she definitely needs it :( shes a chronic overthinker.. the voice in her head keeps chattering away most of the time which gets a little nauseating. she hates silence and feels like she needs to fill it with words. she often says the wrong things .. to the wrong people ... at the WRONG time and she is very aware of it. its the culprit for her self doubt and struggle to open up emotionally to the people shes close to. shes very critical towards herself, she micro analyses everything from the way she acts, the way she looks and what she says. shes also not a fan of confrontation !!!!!!!BUT!!!!!!!!!!!
 she is a FIREBALL when she stands up for others. i dont know how she hasnt gotten into a physical fight yet. she would literally rip ur side mirror off ur car if u didnt wait for an old lady to cross the street. is intense in every possible way. if shes angry, shes angry and impulsive and out of control, when she is in love, she feels it in her bones and simultaneously wants to rip her hair out, when she’s passionate about something, she is persistent until she isn’t and when she loses motivation, everything feels bleak .. theres never any emotional balance, even though she fights so hard for it every day 
likes sci fi movies .. literally when they are Floating in space ???? SIGN! JANE! THE! FUCK! UP! letterboxd is probably her favorite app. sometimes she will post a review, read it over and over, find something wrong with what she said and then delete it. shes very neurotic. she either has good days where she can comfortably be herself or bad days, when it feels like everyone is judging her every move when in reality. ... it is always .. all in her head. 
and she is mostly in her head. she creates fantasies of her life, relationships platonic and romantic and as a result, nothing ever seems to measure up. she feels secure in her fantasies but oftentimes when it hits her that they are just that, fantasies, she ... feels really alone. 
will trip over her own feet . has like 5 bruises from washing the dishes </3
she works as a part of a product design team in a big company.. probably has the knowledge to move up the tier but does not have the courage to stand up for herself . she doesnt believe in herself and is kind of a pessimist .......  
got high one night and decided she wants to start an uber ....... only for women. but doesnt think its a good ide a (its a good idea. id like to think in 10 years time ... bitch made it) 
really weird. likes eating broad beans and frozen strawberries .. will literally eat a lemon. 
she will have different interests every week but never seems to be any good at anything ???????????? makes her sad. 
claims tidying up with marie kondo changed her life LAKJDSKLDJ
*draws curtains* anybody else tired? 
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datingdonovan · 4 years
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Stan: invites ONLY Richie to his thing, sarcastically pulls his hand down and gives remarks to his jokes. Richie: literally called him the best, they’re best friends, just a perfect friendship overall (knew stan longer than Eddie) the reddie/stenbrough shippers: no they hate each other, it’s just reddie with different flavor. literally saw that comment and I almost screamed. they’re not the same LOL stan and Eddie are just similar.
1. they dont hate each other thats OBVIOUS. BUT 2. OK alSO to talk about eddie and stan being similar like i honestly wonder to what extent are they???? like i think eddie and richie are both quite abrasive but i always think of richie as the bigger personality (dont come at me everyone lol) and like i think probably the biggest rival ship on the stan side is stenbrough and i used to just automatically be like ok bill/richie are in similar positions and stan/eddie are in similar positions in the relationship BUT like if u really think about it for ONE milisecond like i would hesitate to say bill is the bigger personality in stenbrough. at least in like fic, i think theres a huge majority of people who would say richie is pretty much the dominant one in reddie, but like with stan and bill i would say the fics shake out pretty darn equally on which one of them is the leader/snarker/flirt whatever language you want to use that contributes to the thought that one of them might be a bigger personality. and so like, then you take stozier and it’s like honestly i think at least in terms of the fic people write and the way the fandom chooses to portray their personalities, stan gives WAY WAY like infinitely more pushback than eddie in terms of who is going to sort of be the dominant energy in the relationship and like honestly i think stan is even more extreme in terms of the things that might make him similar to eddie (being like ew richie ur gross, that kind of thing) so like stozier you get these people who are both SO EXTREME imo honestly way more extreme opposites than reddie or stenbrough but theyre alike in the fact that they ARE SO SO EXTREME (and obvi other inner issues ive mentioned b4 in this thread) and like idk to me thats VERY interesting and makes it so much more of an unsettled dynamic but also so much FUN like to see where we can take this energy? how can both of u be this intense and how's that gonna shake out?? this is such a brain dump idk if it makes sense lol but if u want i can direct u to other posts where i elaborated a lil more on this if it makes no sense lol. ps thank u anon for talking to me i love this stozier rapport we got goin on lol im so thankful to air my thoughts i hope u r 2
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alamanyar · 5 years
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[this has been sitting in my drafts since saturday. it’s super long lol but writing this all down helped me process the clip] i have to say that i liked the last clip (let’s say as a whole) of ‘This is why I don’t like you.’ and by that i mean the approach and most of its execution. maybe a few rewatches helped, and maybe a bit of distance helped, too. 
the beginning sequence is badass. love the girls acting cool and goofy at the same time. great music choice once again. eva doesn’t mess around, does she. i do hope they will tone down her jealousy. i’m a bit concerned. the way she reacts is realistic and i get her, i do, i just hope she’ll grow soon, cause being jealous 24/7 is draining and i want her to be happy. the dancing sequence is fantastic. there are all adorable goofballs. (i hope luchì gets a line soon. know that i’m waiting). i hope we see more of this in the next weeks. those are only snippets, but they are great, because they show us friends having fun together. edoardo with his friends (the villa boys are slowly growing on me and we don’t see them often. thank you ludos). also for giving chico the screentime he deserves. the myth, the legend, the chaotic energy. i hope we get to see more of him together with edo. and if it’s a snippet of them dancing (?) together. edoardo is loyal to his friends, we all know that i think, but we actually see him having fun with them in a very soft way. you can feel they go way back. you only geek out with your best friends like that, don’t you? while he dances, he keeps glancing at eleonora who is enjoying herself with her friends. she has a lovely smile, i hope we see more of that as well. i feel like we’ve seen her more restrained this season. sure, we get a closer look on her since it is indeed her season. not everyone smiles 24/7 even if said persons is a literal sunshine. but i felt like she let go of the visible tension she’s been feeling on the dance floor for a while. i liked that part. when we see eva already drunk at the bar i already had a bad feeling. then come the two guys. i tensed. it was hard watching her talk to those absolute douche-bags. to those homophobes. they took advantage of her. and i was scared. then ele comes in and tries to get her away from the men, but it’s not working. eva is so caught up in her insecurities and her hurt over giovanni being with sofi that she seeks validation. ele is not giving it to her, and so she asks the men who had just spend a drink on her. she didn’t see nothing wrong in that in the moment. i can’t blame her, she was wasted. i hope she wouldn’t have the need to learn from this, but let’s be relastic, i hope she does. girls/women shouldn’t stop enjoying theirselves on a night out, and yet, they have to be attentive if they don’t want to be exploited. there’s always a possibility that people will do exactly that. and it sucks. it’s a sad and cruel world we [sometimes] live in. that being said, i appreciate how it was handled. even ele going to marti for help. a teenage girl asking her male classmate/friend whom she trusts to help her with dragging away their mutual female friend from men who are prying. it’s realistic, it’s real. it’s tough to watch. it’s not something that was shown in order to be realistic for the sake of realism. this is how it could go down. this is how it went down too many times for too many people. (one time is one time too much). this is how it will go down in the future. so what do the viewers take away from it? they relate. cause it happened to them. it happened to some of us. to a lot of us actually. they’ll talk about how real this scene was and how much it hurt. women, nor any gender, should get treated this way. will there be people who will be shocked with this scene because it felt too real? yes. it makes me sad, it truly does. if there are people who have watched this scene or similar scenes to this and weren’t aware that this is part of the realism we are living in, i hope this scene gave them something to think about. people who behave like the men in this particular scene probably didn’t watch this scene nor equal ones. but if people who think this scene was over the top or unrealistic, i hope they realise now that this scene wasn’t all of that and i hope they will change their view on what is okay to say/to do to a person who is clearly drunk. (look for the friends if they are not close, order a glass of water, make the person sit down). it’s a sensitive topic, but skam is about sensitive topics. this scene wasn’t a wake-up call for me. i know that this stuff happens every day. i, too, have been hit on. both during a night out and walking down a bloody street during broad daylight. i was even sexually assaulted during work when i was only a couple of years older than the characters we follow on screen. i’m glad they choose to tackle this topic. yk one second you’re dancing and having fun with your friends, the next you’re being hit on. it’s a puddle of emotions, yes, but we all know skam is like that. this was very intense, but i’m thinking it only raises awareness and it gets us (back to) talking about this sensitive topic, and hopfeully, to each other. that is what i took away from this scene. other than being scared for eva. moving on. eva shouldn’t have taken the drink, but it’s not her fault. it’s been a while since i’ve went out ending up completely wasted, but i’m not unpruned to react/behave like that even if i have a couple of more years on my sleeve. sometimes you do stuff you regret when you’re drunk. i don’t want to think about the times i was this level of drunk and nothing happened to me, because i was just lucky to be in a room full of normal decent humans. or it was because i just got lucky none of the assholes in this world tried something with me. it can happen to anyone, anytime. i’m happy ele had an eye on eva. this is also so very realistic. those friends who watch you when you’re going out together. you watch each other, sometimes one watches the others more closely and vice versa. those friends that walk you home/want you to text them when you’re home. when you’re safe. okay. ele goes to marti and marti’s face changes in a milisecond. bless his soul. bless his heart. bless martino rametta and everone who is like him. simple as that. he grabs eva and eva follows him instantly. their friendship, boy, i’m glad we get these snippets. but then the atmosphere intensifies. the story with eva beforehand was a good build-up, it really was. all my senses were heightened. marti drags eva away, he knows how serious this situation is. and yet he manages to stay calm. everyone who reacts like him shouldn’t be praised, because it’s decent human behaviour. and yet. alas. the men come on to him and the situations gets scary again or even more scary idk. he gets called a slur. he’s shoked, hurt, scared. all of it. but he won’t give in to these men’s provocations and starts to walk off. they don’t let him though. giovanni appears out of nowhere? no. he was standing beside him when ele came to martino. maybe he followed his action. he’s fierce in his protectiveness. giovanni is one of the kindest and warmest and softest characters in the skamit universe, but he won’t have you insulting his best friend. not on his watch. we’ve known that, yeah, but these seconds of him jumping between martino and the men are an amazing continuation of what we’ve seen in s1 and s2. as sad as it was watching him do that. he shouldn’t have to. but he did, and i am glad. i’m also glad elia came to the rescue. these boys. oh man. i am enjoying eleonora’s season. despite the change in releasing the clips, despite the dragging storyline concerning ele x edo x silvia. i am. and i’m excited to see where the rest of the season goes. i would give anything though to follow martino through his eyes for, well, idk, many many seasons. his season just captivated me. martino captivated me. marti x nico captivated me. fede captivated me. i’m sorry if this is annoying. this short scene with him though- for a second i was back in his head. i was back in season 2. damn. anyway, the way we react to things comes in different ways. this is where nico comes in. i think he didn’t hear what’s been said. i don’t think he acted ooc. maybe he was even asked to take sofi to the side. maybe the boys pushed him away, because they know how vulnerable he is. tends to be. he’s allowed to. and if it was his choice, i still wouldn’t call it ooc. we’ve seen him through marti’s eyes. we know he’s utterly vulnerable. it’s one of his biggest character traits. i think it would have been a bad call to make him jump into the fight, too. it’s not him. he’s like marti. he’d try to leave the situation. yes, the men were the ones who started it. all of it. with words, with aggression. they were ready to throw fists. i’d try to push them away, too, had they attacked my friends. where was nico? it’s all speculation, isn’t it? we see him and sofi for a split second in the background when gio rushes to marti’s side. we don’t know if he heard what it was all about. i’m thinking that the directors made a choice here. especially in the snippets of the aftermatch. why don’t we see his ‘concerned’ face? why is he “just” standing there (calmly even. maybe) with sofi and why doesn’t he rush to marti when the latter one is worrying over gio after edoardo and his friends throw the men out? (coglione. btw bless you, edoardo). it makes me think he didn’t know what was being said at all. i think he either didn’t know what the situation was about or maybe he thought it was about giovanni (and eva) after all. marti dragging away eva because ele wouldn’t ask gio for help in this particular situation, because he’s with sofi now. but then gio goes anyway, because someone tried to hurt eva and he still cares about her. maybe that’s what nico thought. it could be a possibility. another one could be that nico froze because of the fright. i really think there lies a reason behind him standing with sofi. and i think it will be resolved. they have been handling marti x nico with care (we’ve seen them in the bg and they are happily in love. we’ve seen it on the dance floor, too. happy boys happily in love). now, there wasn’t any concern in the snippet we see of him going to marti and the boys. there has to be a reason to it. it was all blurry anyhow and like 0.0001 seconds so what. there was concern at one point though, i’m absolutely certain. we didn’t see it though. and if it was because of him freezing at the situation, then so be it. who are we to judge other people’s reaction? those snippets of him in the bg don’t make me love his character any less. i know he loves marti and i know he’ll shower him with love more than ever and i know he’d never not care about marti. i’m not even mad at the decision to not show his reaction. he’s not the focus. marti has a bit more to it all. he’s a main and the whole harresment/homophobia scene happened with the three mains involved. i’m not mad (yet. lol), because i think there’s something following up to all of this and i’m positive we get the soft epilogues for marti x nico in the bg at one point. my shipper heart wants a lot of scenes with my faves. but this is also skam. a show that’s fast paced- you have to read between the lines sometimes. that being said, i thought this scene was difficult to handle, but i wouldn’t say it took away one thing from the other. eleonora x edoardo’s story is just beginning and like i said, i think we’ll get another look on the homophobia mention. i’m also thinking that this was maybe an intentional creative decision. one main/one ship gets a scare and one gets together. sometimes life is like that. very often so, i believe. people don’t have to like this of course. it didn’t upset me. eva being harrassed scared me. marti being cornered scared me. i could enjoy ele x edo, i just needed a few rewatches to let it really get to me. the conversation they have before she tells him she doesn’t like him was very well done. edoardo is so soft omg, giancarlo, calm down. i adore his approach on his character, i really do. i think he’s a great actor. i think, deep down, edoardo’s even one of the most vulnerable characters. there’s a sensitiveness to him. when his mother is mentioned, when he looks at eleonora and when you see how far he’s gone for her, but still wants her to be alright, even if he doesn’t play a part in her life. it’s acted out subtly but it’s also very visible, you know? he longs for eleonora to like him. he’s been trying really hard. i think for the most part he’s been respective towards her and i really like the growth we’ve seen so far in him. i’m excited to see where this will go. eleonora is scared of admitting her feelings. she doesn’t want to give in, but she also does. she’s seen another side of him by now and she struggles to keep up with idealistic views on men/human beings in general. she’s been soft for him in s1 and s2 already. when he calls her beautiful, she isn’t appalled, because it’s the way he says it. the way he conveys it. it has charmed her. when they talk on the balcony in illegale, she’s even more soft for him. little glances here and there. he challenges her. she likes it. and yh the whole silvia storyline doesn’t want her to go into to it and she tells herself that she can’t betray her friend like that and so on. but what do you do when someone you’re actually not keen on, gets to you in a good way? that’s eleonora struggle, her conflict. short intermission: i’m glad they didn’t make eva x silvia kiss each other’s faces off. if they don’t make one of them a lesbian/bisexual/, what’s the point? exactly. the kiss scene: i like that ele’s speech was cut short. it’s repetitive and edo doesn’t want to hear it. he’s hurt. obviously. it makes sm sense to me that he stops her. it’s been talked about how edoardo has been waiting for her for over a year. what about eleonora? i think she’s been falling for him for a while now, too. that’s why she runs and that’s why they don’t need any more words. it fits. i liked the thunder thingy touch. or whatever you call it heh. i thought it was done very well. maybe the rest is hella dramatic. not that the thunder thingy is not dramatic, you know, but some things are dramatic and some things are dramatic. anyway. i think the blurry take of the scene was a creative decision in the sense of that it was done in order to portray a metaphor which is that we aren’t able to see everything yet, because this is just the start of their relationship. we are looking at them through frosted glass. we don’t have all the details yet, and neither do they. the way it was shot certainly is growing on me. i like their happy faces. their smiles. they matched each other and it was wonderful to see. i like neck kisses so him kissing her jaw(-line) was *whistle noise* kisses in the rain are often cheesy. they are supposed to, i think. sometimes i like them, sometimes i don’t. i didn’t mind the rain in this one, it wasn’t as if it started raining on cue. scenes with rain involved also bear a metaphor and when it’s done right, it takes away the cheesiness of it all, or let’s say some of it, at least for me. rain usually means clearity, right? rain is essential to all living things. if it doesn’t rain, nothing will grow. and when it pours, it means it washes away your troubles, your negativity etc pp the rain in this scene probably wasn’t there just for the aesthetic (some say it took away the aesthetic. i think that’s something you can argue about), it was used, because it washes away eleonora and edoardo’s previous sins. if you want a dramatic appeal to it. it made them clean (again) and now they are standing naked in front of each other, because the rain got rid of their baggage, their dirt. ele had an epiphany on the dance floor that was long called for and she found clearity in the kiss under the rain. edoardo was defeated, he truly believed eleonora did not like him and after one long year of waiting, he gave up, because he can’t and he won’t pursue someone anymore who doesn’t want him. the rain washes away his sins, because eleonora accepts them now. she let down her guard and she sort of came down from her high horse. for edoardo it’s clearity because eleonora coming after him means that he didn’t imagine their connection and their banter. her clearity is his clearity. the rain implies that everything (for now) is settled between them. the coast is clear, so to speak. it means the start of their journey together. i admit that i didn’t care too much about their kiss that much at first, because i was still taken aback by eva and marti being harrassed and not seeing nico react to marti being hurt. and it’s not that we all have to like the same scenes or creative choices anyway. i don’t think the clip was bad because two massive things were happening. i don’t even think it was rushed. maybe that’s just me. with some clips you experience a rollercoaster of emotions. this one clearly was one of those. of course it’s absolutely okay not to like it or any other one. (or aspects of it). there’s still a lot to come this season and time for side storylines to develop. time for clarity and time for resolve. that being said, i know it would have been unrealistic for filippo to come to this party, but boy, did i miss him in that clip.
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h4rin · 6 years
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bf!seungjoon
prompt: none! (i’m writing request stuff next tho!!)
i’m writing this because 1), i’m stoned, 2), it’s 1 am, 3), these photos exist, and 4), nobody writes much onf. i ult them, so i might as well. 
word count ; 1,181 words this is LONGER THAN I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE SORRY
i don’t wanna write about how y’all get together sorry but like
if somebody requests it i will
not today tho
we’re getting right into the bf
first off
he would be The sweetest
like
you’re having even a Slightly bad day???
no
not on his watch
he’s at! your! place! (if you dont’ already live together) with food that you love, movies that make you happy, and super snuggly blankets, ready to make you feel better
and it works!!!! because seungjoon is always cuddly, always like super warm, the way he leans into you when you hug making your heart beat slower because he feels like home, even for just one second
he’s just the best cuddler okay
he’s the best in a lot of ways but also like
he’s not the best cook
idk why i feel like irl he would end up being an okay cook but like,,,
yuto is the best cook in the band ok 
let me have this
BUT
you wouldnt view it as a bad thing
like you offered to cook and bake for him when y’all were hanging out one time
and he was like “wait no we can just order”
you go like “??” because either a) you’re not used to takeout being cheaper than cooked food(i think korea has cheaper takeout than groceries???? idk i read that somewhere) or b) you’re offended that he thinks you can’t cook
so you literally just go “seungjoon i am making food”
and he’s like
“okay D:::::” and he seems stressed
like he’s still smiling
like he loves being around you and he always is
(it’s actually really cute and you never get sick of his smile
it’s so happymaking and healing and aaaaaaahhh can a smile be cuddly?? inviting?? because his is!!)
but it’s more stressed
his eyes aren’t into it
that’s what gives it away for you
but you’re like “ah he doesn’t think i’m gonna be a good cook, his surprised face is gonna be so cute when i prove him wrong muahaha >:3″
so the food is fucking delicious
but joon is still a little bit worried
it’s seriously his eyes!!!!! they’re not as bright as they usually are
and you’re just like “joonie? is everything okay?”
and he’s like “yeah yeah yeah”
and you just like
“no, it isn’t. please tell me what’s bothering you.”
“im just...” he kinda trails off. “idk how i’m gonna pay you back for this”
you don’t know how to respond to that tbh
so you just go “what do you mean?”
“i mean like, i can’t cook for shit. you know that ((he tried making you cookies one time and they were really tough and too big)) but like, when we go out and buy food? you buy me something after. i like karma. i want to put good karma out there.” 
and you still didn’t know how to respond
so you just kinda go “joon...” like trailing off
and he kinda looks away
but you go “you don’t have to repay me. like, you repay me just by existing near me.”
and he goes “i wanna treat you right.” and kinda shrugs himself off like “but idk lol”
and you’re like “do you want me to teach you how to cook?”
so he learns from you and he’s the best listener and always asks really good questions
but he never seems to get it??
it doesn’t stick
but he really loves cooking with you, like it becomes his favorite thing to do
even tho he isn’t good at it
and then one day??
you come home from an okay day, not the best day though
it could’ve been better but hell, it could’ve been a lot worse
and seungjoon is kinda rushing around, a few really good-smelling dishes on the table, sort of arranged and set for two people
and you’re like “???” but you don’t say anything because he seems to be ??? cooking??? and like ?? really ??????well??
and he doesn’t notice you lol
until he puts the dish that he was working on , on the table
and he looks up at you on accident
for like
one milisecond
like probably looking at the door
and he’s like “shitfuckfuckshitfuckfufkcufkcuk” like ur gonna be home soon
his face is down for a full two seconds before his eyes widen and he looks up
“uhhh...hi (y/n)”
“seungjoon???????”
“uhh...” he kinda blushes. “i’m sorry.”
“????? why are you sorry” because this is my imagination and in my imagination ??? makes a sound and you only put question marks before the question
and he just goes “you’re the best teacher and i’ve been pretendng to be garbage at cooking since the third time we had baking dates”
and you just kinda roll your eyes like “I KNEW IT”
and you have a rlly good dinner i love him
BUT IM RANTING AND IT’S ALMOST 2 AM!! helP
he DIES to go on vacation with you
he’s so cute he always calls it “vacation” when it’s spending two days visiting his mom even tho she doesn’t live two hours away from the dorms laksjdflkj
and when y’all go to jeju?? he’s always SO happy to call it vacation
that’s when he shortens it to “vaycay” tho
“vaycay with my bae”
he’s so cute :((
he loves taking pictures of you
and with you ofc
but sometimes you take pictures of him
like these (which inspired this entire stoned rant you’re currently reading)
and one second after that he grins so huge and his eyes disappear he’s so cute and he just goes “jagiyaaaa” all fake-pouty ((but he makes changyoon text you to ask for the pictures so that yoon sends them to him))
and you get so happy bc he’s so cute when he’s not looking at you and now you have those pictures of him for Yourself
but also partly because he never calls you jagi or jagiya its so cute
it’s so underrated for his voice, like
i don’t know what that means but i think i mean i want to hear him say it
and he never fucking says it and it’s just so much cuter when he never says it
~ absence makes the heart grow fonder ~ (listen i love this song i always have)
when you’re back at the hotel he’s back to calling you babe and dear and love and all his normal ones
but you wouldn’t trade it for anything
he snuggles into you, pretending to be upset
but you can feel his cheeks forming a smile into your stomach
look at this smile i love him so fucking much
if i got to see that when i first woke up in the morning,,,,,
god i’d have much better days
i feel like this is really long and i like it enough as i’m typing it((i am very high i am so sorry) but oh my god i just need more onf content i love him so much,, baby boy love angel blue baby perfect love ahH!H!HH!
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