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ch3rrytales · 1 year

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i couldn’t be more in love - steve harrington

a/n: hi! here’s a lil angsty steve one shot for y’all (unedited) this is my first time writing steve so please be gentle with me. requests are currently open. thanks for reading and as always all support and criticism is extremely appreciated! hope you enjoy, lots of love - florie <3

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

summary: steve’s fears of not being good enough for you cause him to end your four year relationship and leave you heartbroken. even though he tries his best to move on and let you go, his undeniable need to protect you results with you in his bed at the end of a night out.

word count: 7.8k

warning(s): cursing, crying, drinking, mention of weed, parental pressure, throwing up, angst, mentions of insecurity about self worth, smut, no use of y/n, steve and reader are 19/20.

“Ignore it.” Robin said, pushing an overflowing red solo cup into your hand, lukewarm beer sloshing over the rim to drip down your arm.

You shot her a glare and huffed, “I’m trying to.”

She stepped in front of you, blocking your line of vision to who you had been staring daggers at in the corner of the room.

Steve Harrington. Your ex-boyfriend. Your twin flame. Your soulmate. The love of your life.

And her. His new fling.

They had been going at it for the past 5 minutes, they hadn’t even stopped to catch their breath.

You could remember when you and Steve were like that, attached at the hip, disgustingly affectionate.

You weren’t even sure when you had stopped being like that. All you knew was that three weeks ago he had sat you down, taken your hands in his own, eyes glossy, and said the words you had hoped you would never have to hear from his mouth.

“I think it’s time we go our separate ways.”

The second he said it you felt something inside of you drop, trickle all the way down to the tips of your toes and onto the floor, it’s absence leaving your whole body cold. When you and Steve started dating, a comfort that you had never been familiar with before found a home in you and put you at ease for the first time in your life. When you were with him your head and heart were so full of love that any familial or personal pressures that typically plagued you were forced out, there was no more room for them. Your parents overbearing wishes and your perpetual fear of failure were overpowered by his sheer admiration of you, it had always been said that you were destined for greatness in all your endeavors, but Steve never really wanted greatness, he only wanted you. Until he didn’t.

Now you watched them and fought to ignore the pain stabbing into your heart. While his hands roamed over her body you thought back to a better time, a sweeter time.

- - -

Steve slung his arm around your shoulders as you walked past a group of football players who were passing around a poorly made bong on the front porch. They shouted various greetings to your socially esteemed boyfriend who returned their welcome with a nonchalant wave of his hand.

You tilted your head to speak into his ear as you passed through the front door.

“Whose house is this again?”

“You remember Jimmy? I introduced you two at my house last week.”

“Right.” you remembered, one of Steve’s teammates from basketball. “And you’re sure it’s okay that I came, you know without an invitation?”

Steve’s lips twisted up into a lazy smirk and he couldn’t help himself from pressing a chaste kiss on your cheek.

“You’re my plus one, baby. Course it’s okay.”

As you made your way through the party you tried not to feel intimidated by the amount of people flocking to your boyfriend, guys pulling him into half assed hugs, and girls pressing into him, their glossed lips wrapping around sultry hellos.

Steve didn’t seem to pay it any mind, he kept his arm wrapped tightly around your waist ushering you through the crowd until you had reached the drink table in the center of the kitchen. He lifted you up so you sat in front of him atop the counter and shuffled his way between your thighs.

“Whaddya drinking?” he crooned, smooth as always.

“Dunno.” you mumbled, lost in the way his eyes burned into you.

“You want something sweet, honey?” he teased, his hands finding a home just above your knees.

You nodded dumbly as his fingertips traveled up and dipped just under the hem of your skirt.

“Me too.” he agreed and laughed softly, motioning to his lips with the point of his finger. “Lay it on me.”

You pecked him once leaving your cheeks warm and he hummed contently against you before pulling away.

“Alright, now that we’ve got that sorted. How bout a shirley temple?”

He started pouring soda and grenadine into a cup of ice, dumping in two shots of vodka to finish it off while you watched, your feet lazily swinging from where they hung above the ground.

“Cherry on top?” he asked, pulling a jar of maraschino cherries from the door of the fridge.

“Please.” you replied, sticky sweet.

“Well fuck.” he scoffed, twisting the lid off. “I’d cut my right arm off if you asked like that, honey.”

- - -

You were slowly nursing your second drink of the night and had no desire for a third. In all honesty what you really wanted to do was walk home and hide in your bed but you knew that wouldn’t be happening, Robin wouldn’t allow it.

She had practically dragged you from your tear soaked sheets and forced you into the little red skirt and matching cropped angora sweater you had bought impulsively as a post breakup gift for yourself.

“You really need to get out.” she said while you begrudgingly swiped mascara through your lashes, just a few hours earlier.

“I’m not ready yet, Robs.” you complained, turning in your vanity chair to face her. “What if he’s there? What if he’s with that girl?”

“That girl” being Donna, a stunning hair stylist who worked at the salon across from Family Video. Robin had been keeping you filled in on their budding romance since it began, how she had come in one Tuesday and slid a gum wrapper scribbled with her number across the counter with her perfectly polished nails while Steve was helping her checkout. He had taken her out that weekend and they had been seeing each other casually since.

Robin threw a fashion magazine she was flipping through on your bed to the floor, “Who cares? You know I love you and I wouldn’t want to say anything to upset you while you’re-” she paused to grimace at the pile of soggy tissues covering your nightstand. “...fragile. But, obviously he’s moved on and it’s killing me to see you still stuck on him when you’re so clearly out of his league.”

You stared at her blankly, “I’m out of his league?”

“Duh! This is Steve Harrington we’re talking about, I once watched him have a 20 minute “lightsaber duel” with Henderson using a mop.”

You scrunched your nose trying to hide the fact that you found that incredibly endearing and not at all dorky before you responded, “Yet he’s the one who dumped me.”

She sighed in full dramatics flinging her head off the end of your bed so she was staring at you upside down, “Exactly! What kind of a dingus would do that?”

You frowned at yourself in the mirror before powdering your nose for the third time, “Someone who’s moving on to better things.”

“I call bullshit.” she declared. “How does it get better than you? Once you get yourself all pretty and a couple of drinks in your system you’ll forget who Steve Harrington even is.”

“Doubtful.” you retorted.

Robin came behind you, her expression pitiful as it reflected in your mirror. “But, would it kill you to try?” she asked hopefully.

You shrugged and swiped a cherry scented gloss across your lips, “It might.” you said honestly. “But, I guess I’ve got nothing left to lose.”

Robin beamed at you through the mirror and smacked a kiss to the top of your head before practically skipping to the other side of your bedroom.

“Well, then hurry.” she said, pulling her pin-covered denim jacket over her shoulders. “We leave in 10.”

Now that you were at the party, staring at the person you loved more than anything in the world with his tongue down another girl's throat, you realized you did have something to lose, the contents of your stomach.

You turned to Robin, who was beside you eyeing a girl who had come into Family Video last week in search of any Molly Ringwald movie she could get her hands on.

“I think I’m gonna yack.” you whispered.

“What?” she questioned. “You’ve hardly had anything to drink.”

“It’s not the alcohol making me queasy.” you replied, gesturing to Steve and Donna pressed against the wall opposite to you.

“I thought I told you to ignore him?” she said, still slightly distracted.

“Easier said than done.”

She took a moment to look at you, her best friend. It honestly hurt her to see you so down on yourself. All she wanted was for you to have a good time after weeks of sobbing in her arms and isolating yourself in your room. She looked around the room until her gaze fell upon a beefy blonde eyeing you from the beer pong table.

“You wanna play a game of pong?” she said, gesturing to the table.

“Not really.” you replied, your eyes unmoving from Steve’s back.

“Too bad.” she decided, tugging you behind her.

“Robinnn” you complained, following her.

When the two of you reached the table the blonde in question sauntered over to you, drinking you in with his stare.

“You girls up for a game?” he shouted over the music.

You shook your head timidly while Robin replied, “Absolutely.”

The boy pulled you into his side with an arm around your back and spoke into your ear, “You’re on my team, babe.”

You looked helplessly to Robin who only nodded and mouthed to you, “Go for it.”

“You got a partner?” he asked her. She looked around and shrugged.

You turned your focus to reorganizing the scattered cups on the table into a pyramid, your head shooting up when your new partner’s voice cut through the room.

“Harrington!” he called. “Come play, we need another person.”

Robin’s eyes widened as she tried to assess what the quickest escape for you would be.

But Steve was faster, approaching the table with Donna under his arm still unaware of your presence.

He saw Robin first, her face red and eyes locked on yours. Then he focused his attention on the man beside you who once again pulled you close and then spoke, “It’s you and her against me and this pretty thing.”

Then Steve saw you, your cheek mushed against the blonde douche’s shoulder, bottom lip wobbling as you suffocated in the unexpected eye contact.

Donna leaned in and whispered something in his ear that made his jaw clench and he shooed her back gently with the wave of his hand.

“Sorry, bud.” he said, eyes unmoving from yours. “Not interested.”

As quickly as he was there he was gone.

You were seconds away from crumpling to the ground when Robin pulled you from the man’s arms.

“Fuck,” she said, her hands on your shoulders. “I’m sorry, I had no idea he was coming over here.”

You shook your head, dismissing her apologies. “It’s not your fault, I just-” your voice cracked and you looked at her wordlessly. “He didn’t even acknowledge me.”

She frowned and pulled you into a hug, “He’s a massive idiot.”

“Are we still playing?” The blonde asked, dumbfounded.

“Sorry, but fuck off.” Robin replied, before walking towards the kitchen, arms still wrapped around you. “We’re taking shots. Lots of them.”

“I’m not in the mood.”

Robin pulled a bottle of vodka from the many assorted liquors lined up on the table in front of you.

“Y’know how they say the best way to get over someone is to get under them?” she asked, already pouring the shots.

You nodded weakly.

She shoved the tiny glass into your hand, “That’s a lie.” she declared. “The best way to get over someone is to get absolutely shit faced.”

You recalled Steve’s expression when he saw you, it was cold, not exactly unbothered but withdrawn. You recalled her hands on him, her lips brushing the shell of his ear, and her words affecting him.

You slung the glass back, the liquid bringing a welcome burn to the back of your throat. Then you took another. Then another. Then another.

Within the hour you were somewhat distracted from your heartache. You and Robin were squished together on a couch with Nancy and Jonathan, all giggling drunkenly in response to the story Jonathan was sharing of an encounter he had with an inebriated pizza delivery boy the week prior.

You had lost count of your drinks and your head was feeling increasingly heavy to hold up, making your neck ache. You didn’t really mind the pain, in fact you welcomed it, this pain was much easier to manage then the dull throbbing kind that had been tormenting your heart. Your head fell back against the cushion behind you and you felt as if the world was spinning off its axis beneath you. Your elbow dug into Robin’s side making her groan in annoyance. The lights in the room started to overwhelm you and a wave of nausea washed over you.

“Robin,” you mumbled, eyes squeezing shut.

“Hm?” she hummed in response, her head lolling to the side.

“M’gonna be sick.”

“Now?”

You swallowed thickly and shakily rose to your feet. “Right now.” you confirmed. You started pushing past people in pursuit of the bathroom, you could hear Robin behind you faintly.

“Coming,” she said. “Slow down, I'm right behind you.”

You ran up the stairs, as fast as you could in your current state, hands clawing the railing for balance. You stumbled through the hallway, checking behind you when you had reached what you hoped to be the bathroom door only to realize you had lost Robin along the way.

Your clammy hands turned around the knob and your body fell limp against the door as it swung open, fluorescent light invading your eyes. You dropped to your knees and shoved the door shut behind you, too nauseous to attempt locking it. Your hands shook as they gripped the toilet pushing up the seat before heaving roughly into the bowl.

Your eyes squinted shut as your head pounded, the music playing from downstairs was slightly shaking the foundation of the house and you were suddenly longing to be carried away and tucked into your bed.

You thought of Steve, not whoever it was you encountered downstairs. But your Steve, the one who would give you piggyback rides from the bar to where his car was parked blocks away when your feet hurt. The one who sat criss-cross applesauce on Nancy Wheeler’s bathroom floor with you in his lap, peppering your shoulders with kisses when you got too drunk last New Year’s Eve.

You brought the back of your hand to your mouth wiping roughly, your cheeks were wet with tears. You must’ve been sitting there for at least fifteen minutes, thoughts lingering on the past. When had you even started crying? You tore at the toilet paper roll beside you and balled up a sizable portion, you wiped at your eyes furiously, disregarding the mascara that was surely staining your face.

What a mess.

You shuddered at the thought of Steve seeing you like this, messy and broken and crumpled on the floor. You wondered what he would think, if he would feel sorry or just sorry for you.

As if the universe were playing some sort of cruel joke on you, while the thought floated around your head you heard the door unlatch and when you reluctantly followed the sound you saw him standing above you like some sort of awful miracle.

He looked shocked first, not expecting anyone to be in the room, but then the guilt washed over his face and you knew he had realized what he really walked into.

“Fuck, hon-.” he stuttered, his hands reaching out instinctively.

The half murmured term of endearment felt like a punch in the gut and you physically winced as he approached you.

His eyes filled with hurt at the way you reacted to his entrance, he used to scoop you up in his arms and quiet any of your pain with nothing but his presence and whispered words of comfort.

“Go,” you pleaded, your voice scratchy and raw.

“I can’t just leave you lik-” he sighed, and looked at you helplessly, as if saying what do you expect me to do. As if leaving you heartbroken and soiled on the bathroom tiles would be physically impossible for him, like he wasn’t the reason behind it.

“Are you okay?”

You sniffled and stared at the floor, “Please go.”

Steve squatted beside you and hesitantly reached out. He swallowed hard when you flinched under his touch as he pushed the hair out of your eyes, ensuring it was only mascara marring your pretty face and you weren’t physically harmed.

You refused to meet his eyes and when he tried to pull you off the ground, tugging gently on your hands, you shook your head.

“What do you think you’re doing?” you protested.

“Taking you home, c’mon.”

“No,” you argued. “Why would I do that? No, I’m- I’m here with Robin, she’s-”

“She’s passed out downstairs,” he interrupted. “You need to go home.”

“You’re drunk. I’m not-”

“I’m stone cold sober.” he informed, bringing his finger to his nose and then extending out as if he were doing a field test.

You finally locked eyes with him, and the unshed tears that sat brimming on your waterline seemed to drown him.

“I can’t, Steve.” you cried. “I can’t be in a car with you and…her.”

His shoulders fell a little and his expression softened ten fold.

“She’s not- I wouldn’t put you through that.” he said, as if it were obvious. “That’s why I’m not drinking,” he explained. “I already took her home, she’s babysitting her little brother tomorrow morning. She couldn’t stay late.”

You scoffed wetly, “How responsible of her.”

“Be nice.” he warned and you wanted to punch his perfect face.

“I’m not nice.” you slurred, under your breath.

“Bullshit,” he replied. “If someone hit you with their car you’d be the one to apologize.”

“Not anymore.”

“Don’t buy it.” he dismissed “Can you walk?”

“M’fine.” you clipped, rising to your feet while trying to ignore the feeling of the ground swaying under your feet and the pit of nausea still living in your stomach. “Gonna walk home.” you decided, pushing past him to get out of the tiny restroom.

He caught your forearm in the hallway, steadying your wobbly walk. “Yeah right. I’m taking you home. C’mon, I’m parked out front.”

You tried to tear yourself out of his grip, blaming the fluttery feeling in your stomach on your overindulgence.

“I don’t want your help. Okay?” you barked.

He ran his free hand through his hair and sighed, discouraged. “Look, I know you must hate me right now and I understand…” he paused and his expression remorseful. For a second you caught a glimpse of the man you loved, the man you still love. “Three weeks doesn’t erase four years. Please, let me take you home.”

Your will to fight him dwindled fast and you had to actively restrain yourself from embracing him and burying your face in his chest.

“Robin-” you started. “I can’t just leave her here.”

“I know.” He smiled sadly, still in complete awe of the way you cared for those lucky enough to be loved by you. “Go wait by the door, I’ll make sure she has a way home.”

“Thank you.” you mumbled.

“Of course.” He said, the second half of the sentence dying on his tongue. Anything for you.

You slowly made your way to the door and leaned against the wall, forcing air into your nose and out of your mouth in heavy puffs. You could feel your nerves buzzing beneath your skin at the prospect of being in a confined space with the person who dizzied you most in the world.

When Steve returned your eyes had drifted shut and your hands rested on your temples.

“Nancy and Jonathan are gonna give her a ride, they’re leaving in about an hour.” he informed. “You okay?”

You nodded slowly in response, “Thanks again.”

He hummed and opened the door for you, his hand instinctively finding its way to rest on your lower back and guide you out of the house.

When you got to his car he opened the passenger door, helping you in and leaning across you before you had a chance to shut it to secure your seat belt into place. Your whole body tensed when his fingers brushed against your hip and he muttered an apology.

He joined you in the car and switched on the radio before pulling away from the party in the direction of your house. Neither of you spoke as you exited the neighborhood so you laid your head against the window and watched the trees under the dim street lights as you passed by.

He turned a corner and you pressed your fingers into the leather seat beneath you to fight the unrest in your stomach that arose from the car’s motion.

“So, why’d you come back?” you asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Y’know after you dropped her off.”

Steve’s fingers tightened around the wheel and his eyes flicked to the side to see you looking at him timidly.

“I said I’d help clean after.” he lied, swallowing the truth with a forced gulp.

He couldn’t tell you the real reason behind his return, that he had been in agony imagining you at the party saddled up with some former jock, no one there to supervise your open drinks, or to ensure you had a safe way to get home.

“And now you’re driving me home.”

He realized leaving again before the party was over contradicted his lie and cleared his throat.

“I just wanted to make sure you were okay.”

You felt the sadness that had been lingering in you all night slowly turn to anger.

“Of course I’m not.” you clipped, facing out the window again.

“Sorry,” he said. “That was probably a stupid thing to say considering…” he trailed off, biting his lip so hard he wouldn’t be surprised if he were to draw blood.

“Considering you dumped me and got a new girlfriend within a few weeks?”

“She’s not my girlfriend.” His heart hurt at the idea that anyone but you could hold that title.

He turned into your neighborhood and you had never been more thankful to see your house in the distance, that is until you realized all the lights were still on. Your parents were still up. Fuck.

To anyone else this may not have been a big deal, you were legally an adult but that never seemed to matter to your parents who were as strict as nuns when it came to drinking.

Steve seemed to notice the lights as well because his car came to a stop a few meters before your driveway.

“Well shit.” he remarked

“I can’t go in.” you said. You knew you must’ve looked quite disheveled, most likely smelled of alcohol and while you felt much more sober since emptying your stomach you knew there would still be a sway in your walk and a slight slur to your voice.

“You can stay at mine tonight,” he offered.

You laughed in amusement and anger. “I don’t think so. I can go to Robin’s.”

“She’s staying at Nancy and Jonathan’s and they won’t even be there for another 45 minutes at least. You can sleep in the guest room.”

He put the car in drive again and started towards his place before you could argue anymore.

The rest of the ride was spent in silence, nothing but the quiet hum of the radio and the drum of Steve’s fingers on the steering wheel. When he pulled into his garage you got out before he had the chance to do anything annoying and chivalrous like open your door or help you exit the vehicle.

You stepped inside the house that may as well have been haunted, every nook and cranny linked to some fond memory you shared with your ex boyfriend. The kitchen where he had miserably failed at cooking you an anniversary dinner, the shower where he carded his fingers through your sud soaked hair, the bed where you had lost your virginity and he held you in his arms till the morning came. Every part of this house was woven into your love story and you felt suffocated within its walls.

He threw his keys onto the kitchen table and kicked his shoes into the corner as you stood frozen in front of him taking in your surroundings as if for the last time.

“You can shower if you want,” he offered. “There’s some towels in the guest bathroom.”

“Okay.” you replied coolly.

“Just stay there a sec, I’ll go grab you some clothes.”

Your eyes were glued to a slightly faded polaroid of the two of you stuck to the fridge with a Hawkins High Basketball magnet. The fridge was barren otherwise, Steve’s parents not the type to decorate with school pictures or family memorabilia. The photo had been taken the night Steve told you he loved you and the night you returned the sentiment. In the picture your cheeks were pressed together, spread taut with matching smiles. You had been so happy that night, quite opposite to how you were feeling now.

Steve startled you from your thoughts with a gentle hand on your shoulder, he followed your line of sight to the photo and spoke, “One of my favorites. You looked breathtak-”

“Steve,” you cut off coarsely. “Just stop it.”

“Sorry, I just…it doesn’t matter. Here,” he said, handing you a stack of folded clothes that you recognized as your own. “I didn’t think you’d wanna wear anything of mine and I remembered I had these in the back of my dresser.”

You accepted them with no word of thanks and tried to convince yourself that he was right, that you hadn’t wanted him to hand you a pair of boxers and one of his sweaters still lingering with his cologne.

Once you reached the bathroom you stripped yourself of your uncomfortable party attire and turned on the hot water. You stood under the sweltering stream and welcomed the burn, letting all the rage you felt for Steve bubble up and swarm your head for the entire duration of your shower.

When you finished you hastily pulled on your clothes, your skin was now scorched and your anger hot and irrational. You stormed towards his room and swung the door open with not so much as a knock. There he sat in the dark, only the moon providing any illumination. His body stretched across his bed on top of the covers, head tilted to the ceiling with nothing but a pair of plaid pajama pants resting lowly on his hips.

“I hope you know,” you started, startling him with a finger pointed lethally in his direction. “I’m not going to go around thinking you’re some great guy just because you took pity and helped me tonight.”

Steve could only flick his eyes in your direction briefly, too emotionally exhausted from the night to even sit up. “That’s not why I did it.”

“Oh, of course not.” your voice dripped with sarcasm.”King Steve is just such a gentleman he couldn’t have it any other way. Don’t act like tonight was motivated by anything other than guilt.”

“Do you actually believe that?”

“You brought that beautiful girl and you just carried on with her like I wasn’t even there. Then when it broke me you just had to come along and pick up the pieces.”

“I’m tired.” he muttered, your name following the statement almost inaudibly. He was tired of fighting with you, tired of seeing the way your eyes burnt into him no longer with lust but something even stronger, hurt.

“You don’t think I’m tired? You don’t think I wouldn’t give anything to close my eyes and not see her hands all over you?”

“Fine, I regret it. I should’ve thrown away her number the second she gave it to me. I should’ve never brought her to the party. Is that what you want to hear?

“No!” you cried. “It’s you who shouldn’t have come to the party and you shouldn’t have come back after you left. You could’ve just let me have this one night, I needed it.”

“I don’t regret that. I had to go to the party, you know that.”

“I don’t see what that has to do with me.”

His eyes softened, “It has everything to do with you.”

Suddenly you saw the events of the night under a completely different lens.

- - -

Then Steve saw you, your cheek mushed against the blonde douche’s shoulder, bottom lip wobbling as you suffocated in the unexpected eye contact.

Donna leaned in and whispered something in his ear that made his jaw clench and he shooed her back gently with the wave of his hand.

“Sorry, bud.” he said, eyes unmoving from yours. “Not interested.”

“Looks like she moved on after all.” Donna had purred in his ear.

He looked at you cozied up to someone new and saw nothing but red. He had to get out of there fast.

“Why would I do that? No, I’m- I’m here with Robin, she’s-”

“She’s passed out downstairs,” he interrupted. “You need to go home.”

He searched the party desperately, only able to catch his breath when he saw Robin laid across the couch, mouth hung open, Nancy and Jonathan not far by. He forced through the crowd till he reached her and felt his heart rate skyrocket when you were nowhere to be seen. He shook her shoulder till she roused enough to open her eyes a sliver.

“Where is she?” he asked, voice urgent. “Where, Robin? Is she okay?”

Robin grumbled and rolled over but not before muttering two words, “Sick. Upstairs.”

“So, why’d you come back?” you asked, breaking the uncomfortable silence. “Y’know after you dropped her off.”

“I said I’d help clean after.” he lied, swallowing the truth with a forced gulp.

“And now you’re driving me home.”

He had never once stayed after a party to clean, not even for his closest friends, and certainly not for some former football player he had interacted with maybe 4 times in his life who still found spitballs to be the height of comedy at the ripe age of 21.

- - -

“You were looking for me.” you realized.

Steve met your eyes and exhaled heavily, “Aren’t I always?”

You held eye contact and despite the dimness of the room he could see your chest heaving up and down with troubled breaths. You turned to leave and Steve fell back against his pillows, scrubbing his hand roughly against his face.

Just as you were about to cross the threshold into the hallway you spun on your heel and faced him again.

“Steve, I-I’m sorry okay? I don’t know why I can’t be civil with you. I feel like my whole life has been flipped upside down over the past few weeks. And I know I can’t blame you for falling out of love with me… I just can’t- I’m not ready to see you fully over us-” your voice cracked painfully in the back of your throat.

“Baby…” he sighed sadly, sitting up in his bed.

You felt tears spring to your eyes, bringing your hands to your face and then dropping them shakily. “I’m sorry.”

He looked at you sorrowfully as your body finally gave out, succumbing to the tears. Before you could stop yourself your legs carried you towards his bed, falling forward on top of him and wrapping yourself around his body.

“Please- I just, I need to-”

You couldn’t bring yourself to finish the sentence but Steve always had a knack for reading your mind and he knew exactly what you meant. You needed to feel him, to hold him again, breathe in his scent, run your fingertips over his skin. He knew because the feeling was all too familiar, he felt it before he shut his eyes every night, before the sun rose through his curtains in the morning, and every moment in between.

Wordlessly he closed his arms around you and your nose pressed into his bare collarbone. His hands traveled up, threading into your hair, cradling your head against him.

“Breathe,” he cooed. With his chin tucked into your neck you could feel the wet lick of his lips when he spoke.

“I’m not fully over us,” he admitted. “Not even close.” He laughed, humorlessly, nudging his nose under your ear, “You’re honestly doing my head in.”

You let your eyes fall shut, wanting to take in every bit of this moment, unsure if you would ever experience anything like it again.

“I really miss you.” you whispered into the diminutive space between you.

A pained noise slipped out from Steve at your confession. He wished you could see the bigger picture he had sketched up in his mind, how in a few years he would be a blip in your memory, a single dim star amongst the blinding constellation of your future accomplishments.

Steve may have been considered slightly ditzy around town but he had never been stupid, he knew you were too good for him, he always knew. From that very first kiss in his BMW four years ago when the two of you were only 16 he knew that the way you felt for him would be temporary. The admiration in your eyes would fade and the curtain would fall. He wasn’t King Steve like he had been in high school, he was just Steve, plain unpromising Steve.

You had always been gifted, you were going places, you had aspirations. The only aspirations Steve could ever remember having were in regards to you, taking care of you, loving you, putting a ring on your finger, making you his wife, and eventually building a family with you. A loving happy family, nothing like the kind he had grown up with.

He wanted the best for you, and as much as it fucking devastated him he wasn’t sure that meant him anymore.

But his resolve was growing thinner, wearing down with each exhale that passed your lips to tickle his skin.

“I miss you too, honey. So much.”

“But, Donna-”

“Isn’t looking for anything serious.” he finished for you. “She’s good company but she's not you. No one is.”

“I don’t understand.”

“I can’t explain it.”

“Why not?” you pleaded against him.

“It’s better this way. I promise, it will be.”

You nuzzled further into him, “How?” Your lips ghosted his clavicles and he trembled. “How could it be better than this?”

His leg slotted between your thighs, pressing you into him. You jumped at the feeling, a symphonic sigh exiting you against your will.

“Shit- sorry.”

You panted and shook your head. “No, don’t be. It’s good.”

He readjusted in an attempt to put some space between you, feeling himself getting sucked into your hazy arousal rapidly. You felt the familiar outline of his excitement against the side of your legs and he hissed.

“This would be real fuckin’ selfish of me.” he struggled to say while you chased his lips, yours already pouted in anticipation. He caught your face and held it in place in front of his own, searching for any lingering signs of intoxication, “You’ll never forgive me tomorrow.”

“I’m fine,” you said honestly. The shower and time passed had sobered you up fine.

“Doesn’t matter. You’ll hate me for leading you on.”

“Are you?”

Steve pondered your question and tried not to let his face show how unsure he was of the answer. Could he really stay away from you? Would either of you ever be able to fully move on from your paramount love?

You read him like a book and grazed his chest with the tips of your fingers, bringing him back to you.

“Even if you are, I couldn’t hate you.”

He swiped his thumb across your eyebrow and watched your eyelids flutter in response. “I hate myself for hurting you.”

You leaned forward until your noses bumped and spoke into his mouth, “Then make up for it.”

Finally, Steve closed the space between you with a hungry kiss. His lips were warm and chapped against yours, his teeth scraping against the suppleness of your bottom one to pull your mouth open and allow him to show you just how sorry he was.

For the first time in weeks you felt your lungs fill with no resistance and strain against your ribcage with a welcome sort of discomfort, like an overfilled balloon you were seconds away from popping and Steve knew it.

His hips rutted against yours and one of his hands slowly traveled down from the velvet of your cheek to palm roughly at your breast. The feeling made your breath catch in your throat, coaxing a high pitched squeak out of you and Steve smiled against your lips, his teeth knocking yours.

“Feels good?” he asked.

“Mhm.” you hummed as he turned his attention to your neck, nipping and kissing the dewy surface. “Always does. You always do.”

His responsive whimper is slightly muffled by your skin but you bathe in it.

“You too.” he reciprocated. “I won’t last long if you keep talking like that, you’ll knock my fucking lights out.”

“Sorry,” you said sweetly, leaving him bewildered at how you could be so sensual and so adorable at the same time.

You sat up, straddling him. Your hands traveled south to breach the barrier of his waistband and wrap your hand around him.

He sucked in a pained breath and tugged the shirt barring his view over your head. “M’hurtin, honey. Lemme feel you.” he pleaded.

You pulled the shorts you wore down your legs leaving you bare and Steve took in the sight as if for the first time.

His hands caressed your stomach, sliding downwards until they rested firmly on your hips which twitched in anticipation.

“Somehow I forgot how perfect you are.” he revealed, his words drenched in sincerity. “No one is this perfect,” he pinched your heated skin once and you whined. “You’re a fucking novelty.”

You stared down at him and wondered if he had ever really looked at himself in the mirror. You scraped your nails lightly down his chest, “You are.”

He coughed and denied it with the shake of his head, bringing one of your hands to his lips for a loving kiss. “I’m nothing compared to you, baby.”

Desperate to get on with it you raised yourself above him hovering whilst lining him up to you. Steve watched your face as you nudged his tip against your clit, your eyebrows pulled together and mouth falling into a gaping “O” shape.

You shimmied forward a little bit and slowly started to sink onto him, pausing as soon as the tip was in. You winced at the stretch and were reminded that it had been a while since you had taken him at all, let alone like this.

“You okay?” he asked, holding you firmly in place to be sure you didn’t slip any further before you were ready.

You nodded, but stayed still. “Hurts a lil s’all.”

Steve kicked himself when he realized he had done nothing to get you ready for him. “I’m sorry, honey. I should’ve prepped you a bit. Hop off a sec.”

“No,” you protested, letting yourself drop another inch or so. “I didn’t want you to. I jus’ want you inside.” you whined as you sunk all the way down, ignoring the burn in your stomach.

Steve cursed to the ceiling as you fluttered around him and he forced himself not to lift his hips and grind even further into you.

He clenched his teeth as he spoke, “Is it painful?”

“It’s perfect.” you answered in more of a sigh than anything else.

“Yeah?” he said, reaching forward to circle your clit with the gentle movement of his thumb.

When you moaned and rolled your hips forward he praised you in a rambled jumble of words.

“Fuck. Holy fuck, baby. You're so good, so so good for me. Shit. Warm and fucking tight. God, am I making you feel good? C’mon talk to me, lemme hear that pretty voice.”

You nodded, brain fading into a lust filled frenzy. “Feels unreal, Stevie.”

You tried to raise yourself with shaky legs but he stopped you with a firm grasp.

“Wha-”

“You think I’m gonna let you do any of the work tonight? It’s not happening, baby. I’m making it up to you, remember? Lemme make you feel good, hm?”

He lifted you with hardly any effort and then pulled you down again, the drag of him against your walls pulling a series of sweet moans from you.

Repeatedly, he bounced you against him, encouraging you with candied praises every time your face pinched in pleasure or you clenched around him, dizzying his head.

After a few blissful moments you felt a wave of pleasure rush to you like the tide to a shore and you panted out a warning.

“Stevie- I’m gonna,”

“You gonna cum for me, honey? C’mon give it to me. I’m right there with you, sweet girl.”

You shook and cried out as your release drowned you, sweeping Steve into the current right alongside you.

You collapsed forward in exhaustion and he held you against his sweat slick body, peppering gentle kisses across your forehead.

“You here w’me?” he whispered.

“Yes.” you replied, voice light. You pulled yourself off of him and tried not to think about the loss, tried not to think about what would happen now.

Rolling over next to him you shivered at the cold air on your bare skin and he wordlessly tucked you under his arm and rubbed his hands up and down on your arm, sparking a friction fueled warmth.

He watched you carefully unable to decipher the thoughts behind your head for what seemed like the first time ever.

“What’re you thinking about?”

You swallowed and tilted your head up to look at him. “What happens next.” you admitted.

He nodded in understanding. “What do you want to happen?”

“Steve.” you chided. “You know what I want.”

“Honey…”

“Do you love me?”

“Of course I do.” he said shocked.

“Then what’s exactly the issue with us being together?”

“It’s complicated. It’s not about me not loving you or not wanting to be with you.”

“Then what is it?” you demanded, sitting up and pulling your previously discarded shirt over your head.

He ran his hands through his sweat damp hair in exasperation. “We don’t make sense anymore,” he admitted.

You bit your lip to hide your hurt and spoke timidly, “Why not?”

“Our lives are gonna go down really different paths and I don’t want to be the douchebag high school sweetheart that holds you back from everything you’re capable of. I’m gonna end up here, working some mundane job, having a few kids and accomplishing nothing special. And that’s fine, I’m content with that but that’s not you.

You frowned at him.

“You’re meant for something bigger. Everyone knows it. I won’t give you some simple life when you deserve a grand one.”

You felt white hot anger seeping through your skin and pushed yourself off the bed bitterly. Without saying a word in response you started searching the room for your shorts, feet stomping with every step.

“What are you doing?” he asked, anxiety clear in his voice.

“I’m leaving.” you said.

“It’s the middle of the night.”

“I don’t care.” you hissed. “You really think you’re helping me by making decisions for me? Do I not get any say in what I want?”

“Of course you do, that’s what this is about. One day you’re gonna want more than I can offer you. I'm just trying to make it easier for you.”

“Wow,” you breathed. “You really have no idea what I want then.”

“So tell me.”

“Steve.” you said, shimmying your shorts back up your legs. “I want you. No ifs ands or buts. Have I not made that crystal clear the entire time we’ve been together?”

“You have but-”

“No, I’m not done. You’re right, I don’t want a simple life. I want to settle down here, in the town we fell in love. I want to marry you and have kids with you. I want to make dinner with you every night and after we eat I want to wash the dishes while you dry. I want to take your clothes out of the dryer and fold them while they’re still warm. I want to kiss you every night before I go to bed and roll over next to you every morning. I want us. A life where we end up together couldn’t be simple because it’s us together, and I love you so much more than any other possible outcome.”

He stared at you bewildered. “You do?”

“Yes! I’ve been in absolute hell these last few weeks over this?”

You approached him and took his hands in yours.

“Look,” you sighed. “I’m so sorry that people in your life have made you believe that you aren’t the talented, smart, capable and loving man that I know you are but none of them matter when it comes to our relationship. That’s just us, me and you. And I know,” you pressed a hand to your heart. “There’s no one in the world who could give me a better life, or love me better than you. I love you, Steve.”

He looked up at you, half sorrowfully half hopefully, “Does this mean we’re back together?”

“Do you want to be?”

“Of course I do. I’ve been miserable without you.” he replied.

“And who’s fault is that?” you laughed, the mood in the room beginning to mellow out into the typically comforting setting you were accustomed to when you were with Steve.

“I’m sorry I ended us and that I tried to make your choices for you.” he said. “I promise I won’t do it again. Oh, and I love you, like more than anything else in the world and I’m fucking devastated that I made you think I didn’t.”

“I love you too.” you echoed, melting into his arms once again not planning on letting go anytime soon.

He pressed his nose into your hair and smiled, lopsided. “I’ve got a lot of making up to do, y’know.”

“Good thing you have the rest of our lives.”

He tugged you onto the bed making you break into a fit of giggles as he pressed sloppy kisses over your entire face.

“I think I’ll start right now.”

#steve harrington fluff #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington angst #steve harrington #steve harrington smut #steve harrington one shot #steve harrington x reader smut #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fanfic #steve harrington blurb #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things x reader #stranger things smut

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ravensmadreads · 8 months

Text

Unhinged totally unasked for thots about Riding Pedro Boys

Authors Note: So this came from me chugging entirely too many energy drinks and then projectile vomiting in Taylors inbox. I'd like to warn you that: English isn't my first language, I have never written smut before, I'm not a real writer, and also I'm trash goblin levels of unhinged about this. That being said; Enjoy and uhh. Forgive me Fandom

JAVIER PEÑA

Javier Pena doesn't let you do it.

Don't @ me LISTEN! (YES I STARTED OFF WITH A CONTROVERSIAL THOT FUCKING BITE ME.)

That man does not have the time, or the patience, or the good sense (the sense is at the other end) to let you ride. He needs the control okay? And sometimes it's not even about the control ! It's the frustration. It piles and piles and piles until he snaps. He needs to do. He will bend you over and work his frustration away until he has had enough and you let him because he needs it. (And lets be real he makes it worth your while every single time)

BUT. When he finally fucking retires, and gets a ranch, and breaths air not tinged with the smells of death, cigarettes and guns for the first time in however many years, and maybe drinks some fucking water, he takes you out on a date. He fumbles through the entire thing, panics because he thinks he blew it, still manages to get you home, gets ridden for the first time in like 6 years, and can't walk straight for an entire day and stammers every time someone asks him why.

JAVIER GUTIERREZ

Javi G loves it. He loves watching you. Gets all puppy dog wide eyed (remember the pool scene face??? Thats it.) and you have to really focus because his look of straight up wonder and awe and bright eyed eagerness makes you want to cry. He's panting like he's running a marathon, running his big hands EVERYWHERE he can reach. He makes you feel worshipped and adored and so very very loved. Thanks you after. For being so amazing, and so wonderful to him, and thanks the universe that he found you. Cause he's sap. You definitely cry after.

JOEL MILLER

(Watch me be controversial again) Joel is fucking tired okay? He has old man bones and creaky joints and his back is achy. Patrol was agony, Jesse wouldn't shut up the entire time, and Tommy was giving him shit, and he has no energy to drill anyone into the mattress (as much as we all want him to). He's just plain tired. He likes you on top. Likes it slow (like a roast chicken on a sunday slow). Enjoys the gradual build up, likes to lean back, watch with half open eyes as you take your time. Wants to indulge in something beautiful at the end of the world, and that something is you. He makes sexy grunting noises, mutters a whole lot of praise ~and filth~ and just y'know. Savours it. 🫠🫠🫠 savours you. 🫠

DIETER BRAVO

Dieter is a maniac. (Leave him alone he has adhd!!) He can't still still for the life of him so you best believe he changes positions 6 times and the only way you're getting to ride is if you're also putting some weight elsewhere. To hold him down! You squeeze his neck once and he MELTS. INSTANTLY. Loses all sense. Starts babbling and whimpering and making extremely pathetic noises. Will definitely buck up and whine. PRAISES YOU. BEGGING. LOUD NOISES.

MAX PHILLIPS

Max is a heathen. He just likes watching you bounce. That's it. That's the post :p

MARCUS PIKE

Marcus P is a romantic. He will be doing the whole "lean forward and try to get kisses in between" while also "moaning and maintaining eye contact" and he's holding you so tight , squeezing your sides and also muttering declarations of love. About how he wants a life with you, and a family, and a home, and a future. How he's going to "make you so happy baby, I promise I will, I swear to you". Doesn't let you off for from on top of him for atleast a half hour after; kissing all over your face and rubbing your back and petting your hair "I meant all of it sweetheart. I want all of you." shsbzgwgsvsg ilovehimsomuch and I've only ever seen gifsets of this man what is wrong with me

MARCUS MORENO

Marcus M is A MENACE. He wears his stupid glasses, and has his stupid shirt off, while he does stupid taxes/meeting plans in bed. You keep throwing side glances and getting increasingly wound up and he just has this gentle smirk but he's mostly ignoring you. You sidle up to him and maybe start kissing his jaw, laying gentle pecks down his neck, and he's still fukcungh working "Baby. I need to finish this. I'm sorry, you need to wait." But that smirk is still there and it's driving you crazy and maybe you keep kissing until you reach his *coughs* and then you're working on getting him interested. You can still hear the fucking pen scratching though and so you go deeper, and he raises an eyebrow. "be good now honey" You're settling in his lap and he has you sitting there until he has finished his paperwork with you whimpering and trying not to squirm because you want to be good you really do and you know he'll make it so much better but he feels so good and when he's finally finally done you get to move but you're so wound up you can't pull yourself together enough to find a rhythm and you're nearly in tears and he has to grip your sides and murmur instructions in your ear and help you until you're satisfied and just when you think he's done, and about to flip you over, he adjusts his grip and starts moving from underneath you until you're crying and he's finished ~which doesnt happen until you've come 2 more times~

DAVE YORK

Dave. Oh my gosh Dave. Dave is a strict dom if ever there was one. With him it's a punishment. He'll tell you to hold off until he's done which is freaking impossible with how deep he gets, and how he likes to warm up his hands on your butt while you're trying desperately to hold onto that last thread of control. He is muttering absolute filth, holding your arms behind your back with one hand while the other is either laying smack after smack or rubbing you furiously all the while he's got the smuggest look. "Don't you dare baby. Be a good girl now. Listen and obey for once". But you can't because he's not fair and he knows it. And when you do finally fall apart he's clenching his teeth trying to hold back himself and his hands are holding you up as you gasp his name like it's the only word you know. He's running his hands down your back and kissing you softly and helping you catch your breath and when you finally get your heart to stop pounding and look up at him, he's watching you with this dangerously soft smile and he goes "oh you're in for it now aren't you honey?" and kisses your forehead while you try not to whimper.

FRANKIE MORALES

Frankie is a soft boy. He loves it. Craves it. He loves giving up control. Wants you to tie him up and have your way until he has no thoughts left in that pretty little head. He is swearing like an absolute sailor the entire time, calling you ma'am, begging to be released so he can kiss you and touch you, absolutely nearly breaks the head board once he was so desperate. Wants to be edged but also is the biggest WIMP about it. Will pout and swear and beg and plead but then want you to deny him again. Will definitely be mumbling absolute nonsense once you're done. Needs all the aftercare. Blushes pink when he gets it. Wraps himself around you like a HUGE koala bear after. ~and returns the edging favour 3 times over when he gets in his Captain Francisco Morales Mood~

JACK DANIELS

BONUS TWO I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT and tumblr won't let me put gifs for:

Jack makes every single cowboy joke known to man. You have to put your hand on his mouth to get him to shut the hell up. His eyes get all glassy when you do. He puts his hat on top of your head and busies himself in your neck (dual benefits: A. He shuts up and B. HICKIES) will definitely drag you on top of him in his Bronco (he likes to show off) will pull up on the side of the road almost 70% of the times you drive together. Bites you over your clothes. Loves the way you grab desperately at this leather jacket. Definitely makes you bend over and 'clean up the mess sugar' before driving like the hounds of hell are after him all the way back home and doing it all over again because "we gotta make you a mama now love"

PERO TOVAR

Pero got married after he came back and retired as a sell sword. His wife is a soft but sassy thing who's a little (read: not at all, she returns his snark twice over) intimidated by him but also thinks he's a good man because he saved her village from raiders. She has seen him grumble and snark at but then also share his food with the orphans who works at the village inn. She's inexperienced (let me live my victorian life) and he doesn't really think he deserves her but also he's not so much an idiot to say no to someone like her. She's the village "healer" and he met her when he got stabbed by one of the raiders (arm wound: not serious.) He has to teach her. She gets shy and flustered, which is a total 180 from her sassy self, and Pero loves it. She makes the most amazing sounds that have him thinking that maybe he did something right in his life to end up in her arms. She wants to please her new husband and asks her married friends for advice and they tell her about this new position. So she asks him, stuttering and tripping over words, if she could try something she heard about? From a friend? She straddles him and Pero loses his mind. He's closing his eyes and clenching his jaw so hard and she's whimpering in the most DELICIOUS way and he's trying so hard to hold back and let her take her pace and she's so worried "am I not doing it right?" Pero has to take 3 deep breaths before he's centred enough to answer and then he helps her. Puts his hands on her hips to guide her. Puts one of her hands on his shoulder "steady now pequenita" and puts the other low on her belly and presses in so she can feel him. Loves the way she cries out. Bends forward to leave little marks everywhere he can reach. She's scrambling at his chest, leaving nail marks he loves, and finally grabbing his hair and pulling until he groans. And when they're both done and sated and sweaty he kisses her, looks her in the eye and winks. "I'm going to have to go thank your friend now, mi esposa."

DIN DJARIN

Din and you dont have time. The razor crest is finally in hyperspace, you got shot at for the 50th time in 2 weeks, (because Murphys Law seems to be the only law Mando never breaks), you're exhausted, sweaty, and the giggly green monster of chaos only made you chase him down from the top of a weapons cabinet twice before he finally decided to take a nap. You're frustrated, and in desperate need of a shower, and a nap, but also you can't get the image of Mando fighting out of your head. Before you know it, the hormones have taken over and you're attacking him in the pilot seat. The bucket is off (I refuse to look at my own reflection in the tin cans helmet while we do the do), he's got you arching into him, your shirt is half torn from the top because Din refuses to wait for "so many fucking buttons Meshla" the gloved hand is squeezing the back of your neck, his mouth is on your chest, his other hand (you only managed to get one glove off) is splayed out on your back. You're riding him like you're trying to break him and his thigh holster? thing (do i look like i can figure out what they're called?) is digging marks into your skin but you're too turned on to care. It's frantic, it's messy, you're PRAYING the tiny green menace stays asleep as you do your best to muffle your sounds. The refresher isn't big enough for a round two, (you still do your best), and your legs feel like jelly, when you finally pass out; curled up on top of the human space heater while he hums Mando'a in your ear.

*****

TAGGING: @chronically-ghosted (you are a menace but ily)

@fuckyeahdindjarin (here I go trying that writing thing again, stop me pls)

#raven writes #i apologize for all of this #idk what came over me #i was possessed #and taylor refused to sedate me #javier pena x reader #dieter bravo x reader #javier gutierrez x reader #joel miller x reader #marcus moreno x reader #marcus pike x reader #dave york x reader #pero tovar x reader #din djarin x reader #max phillips x reader #frankie morales x reader #jack daniels x reader

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stormyjisung · 8 months

Text

"So when did you know it was love?"

Members. Skz hyung line (+hyunjin)

Synopsis. Asking them about the time when they'd fallen for you entirely

A/n. I woke up missing ji and decided to write something for skiz, it's been a long time since I've written for them anyway. I was watching a movie yesterday (more like analysing the poster) and the tagline said, 'so when do you know it's love?' And my writer brain went wee woo 🚨.

Bang chan

"so when did you know it was love?"

The question caught chan off guard, eyes shifting from his phone to your face, eyebrows quirked up in amusement, "where's this coming from?"

Rolling onto your stomach you groaned, "I don't know, chan, it just randomly popped up"

A bubble of laughter left his lips, "well to answer your question, I think it was our last semester at uni? I don't really remember the setting love, but I do remember that I was having a bad day. That paired with a raging downpour pushed me over the edge and I called you, crying, definitely not one of my best moments" chan paused to shake his head, "you helped calm me down and said, 'I'll be right there' and before I could ask what you meant you hung up"

"And before I knew it, you turned up at the library soaked to the bone. You handed me my umbrella and gave me the biggest, warmest hug someone had ever given me, despite the fact that you were freezing,

We'd already been dating for a few months, and you'd stolen my heart countless amount of times but it was at that moment I knew you'd stolen my heart from me forever"

Your cheeks felt hot, chan had always been a man of many words but to hear him voice out the moment he fell in love with you word by word felt nothing short of ethereal.

"But I do wonder, why did you turn up looking like a wet dog when you had an umbrella with you?"

Shrieks of embarrassment and laughter filled the atmosphere, love seeping into your bones even deeper.

Minho

"when did you know it was love?"

You saw minho's hand pause midway while petting dori, "is this one of those tiktok thingies where go around asking your partner if they'd love you if you were a worm?"

"What- no! I was genuinely curious" you whined as minho let dori down, placing a finger on his chin he pondered.

"Honestly?"

"Yeah!" You leaned forward excitedly.

"It was that time when you messed up a party's dress code and showed up wearing a chicken onesie."

"Fuck off" you replied, kicking a pillow at his face as he cackled, "No but how does one mess up that bad?"

Faux disappointment seeped into your features causing minho to break, "okay fine. But you dare not make fun of me or I'll set birds loose on you"

"You wouldn't dare" you gasped, "try me" Came his reply.

"It was late September, when we'd just been dating for a few months and when my self confidence was at an all time low. I remember you'd been begging me to show you one of my choreos until I finally agreed."

"Oh! I do remember it, and when the day arrived you made every excuse under the sun to not show me the choreography!"

"Yeah, because I've always been a little bit of a workaholic and a perfectionist and all the girls I've dated before would ask me to stop working or 'take a break',

nothing wrong with their concern but it just got tiring since I geninunely loved dancing, but then that day when I showed you my choreography, you sat there starry eyed; watching my moves like a hawk and your mouth left partially open as if me dancing was the single most enchanting thing you'd ever seen."

"It was!" you replied in a heartbeat, not missing the way his ears turned red instantaneously, "-anyway, then I told you I wanted to work some more on the choreography before I could come home and you said 'well, let's work together!' And started giving me all these ideas even when you had two left feet yourself"

You would've retorted with a 'hey!' Had it not been the soft gaze in his eyes. You knew minho loved you, it showed in the way he'd tone down his teasing once in a while and remind you that he still loved you.

But after this, you doubt any insecurity would ever cross your mind.

Changbin

"when did you know it was love, bin?"

Changbin almost dropped the plate he was holding, caught utterly off guard by a question he most certainly had the answer to yet didn't trust his words enough, "what do you mean, babe?"

"When did you realize that you were in love with me?"

"I fall for you every day." He deadpanned

"Yeah- but, like, when was the first time?" you asked flustered by his prompt reply.

"You're cute" He giggled, ruffling your hair as his eyes shone with admiration, "I think it was when we had our first serious disagreement? The first time the rose colored glasses shattered and we could see ourselves for who we truly were"

"You said something along the lines of, 'I'd understand if you left right now' and it was the first time in my twenty one years of life that I'd experienced true heartbreak. And it was also the moment when I realized no matter how many fights we had or will inevitably have in the future, I'd never want to walk out on you or us"

He ended his little monologue by peppering sweet butterfly kisses on your forehead, "I'll always love you" He whispered between the kisses.

The orange hues of the setting sun illuminated the two soul mates in that room who failed to realize that their souls were always meant to love each other, maybe the setting sun knew their story for it smiled as it set across the horizon.

Hyunjin

"when did you know it was love?" You asked hyunjin as he raked his fingers through your hair gently, a low hum escaping him

"When did I know I'd fallen for you entirely?" He confirmed to which you gently nodded your head, the serene atmosphere felt unreal with you laying on his chest and him alternating between patting your head and softly brushing your hair

"That's a question that doesn't really have a definite answer, love"

You allowed a beat of silence to pass by before you spoke up, "what do you mean?"

"Falling in love with you wasn't a spur of the moment... it was rather an entire journey.

From the moment we met to right now, it's been one hell of a ride. We've seen seasons, weather and people change. We've seen each other change for the better, I've see you through your good, your bad and your ugly" He paused to let his eyes roam all over your face as if memorizing every miniscule detail

"But despite all of that, I wanted you. I wanted you every waking moment of my life, I wanted you on the days you were too sad to even get up, I wanted you on the days you were cranky and moody, I wanted you on the days you'd blow up on me, I wanted you, I want you.

And when you want someone like that, above their flaws, imperfections and blemishes I think it's fair enough to declare it as love"

Hyunjin was always a romantic, never failing to make you feel loved and cherished and even after years of dating him, he still managed to take your breath away. He talked about loving you as if it was the most natural thing for him to do, as if loving you was easy.

And that terrified you because hyunjin was just as easy to fall for, if not more.

Reblog to show your appreciation !

I love how I post once a week but am chronically online, tee hee.

#🌙. nyx !#skz fanfic #skz imagines #stray kids fluff #skz x reader #skz changbin #skz bang chan #skz minho #skz hyunjin #skiz.archives.#stray kids imagines

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harleehazbinfics · 3 months

Text

Home is where my Heart is.

Chapter 3: The First Time Table of Contents | Profile

Word Count: 1100+ Warning: implied rape and abuse A/N: idk i feel weird that he's kinda ooc; tbf he is very different here in this ff BUT LISTEN crazy meets sweet, ITS KINDA CUTE also also, imma take a break and continue my devout!reader ff, you can check it out here. thanky!

mmmmm i changed so much dialogue i wonder how this'll go. (edited as of Feb 20)

It had been quite a few months after Alastor and I have started going out. Nothing drastically different happened when we were still friends then transitioning to lovers.

Both of us would mind our own business, however, that didn’t really mean that we weren’t thinking about each other. If Alastor went on radio, I would listen to him while doing mundane chores, listening to his voice through the vintage filter of the stereo, I'd even retort to his witty commentary as if he was in the room with me. While, I would be out doing shows across the city, ranging from clubs and cafes to the early television programs.

Today was one of those days, where I would be waiting for Alastor to pick me up after performing a show, as he promised to bring me out to drink for our date. I stood at a lamp post waiting for him, looking down at my shadow.

“Well, look who it is. Lil’ Mel out in town?” a raspy voice said to me, “Must be nice to finally get out of that orphanage, huh? How’ve you been liking it so far? Missed me?”

Hearing this familiar insistent voice sent shivers down my spine, having flashbacks of my days in the orphanage. I wrapped my arms around myself.

“Go away, Aidan. I don’t want to talk to you,” I announced, fear creeping up on me.

“Oh, don’t be like that, babe!” he said putting his hand on my shoulder, “Don’t you remember all our fun times?”

I wriggled out of his grasp and angrily answered, “Fun? Hah, you’re insane. And never call me babe! Goodbye.”

I tightened my grasp on my sling bag and briskly walked away, looking for a more crowded area. But I never got too far when he suddenly had my arm in a tight grip making me squeal in pain. He covered my mouth with his other hand hushing me, and placing his knee between my legs. This scenario was all too familiar that tears welled up in my eyes automatically, but I gathered all my courage tensing my body and biting his hand, frustration clear on my face.

Meanwhile, Alastor was already a few buildings close to your arranged meeting place when he stopped when he heard a familiar voice.

“I told you to let go of me!”

This shout reaches his ears following a thud, fearing the worst he then bolts toward Miledy’s direction.

“Miledy!” he yells however freezes when he sees a man looming over her with a metal pipe in his hands.

“AL!” she screamed scared out of her wits.

Without a second thought, he lunges at the man throwing the both of them to the side leaving me on the floor. I looked at Alastor in fear for him when I saw him struggling to wrestle the larger man off of him.

“STOP! GET OFF HIM!”

Aidan seemed to falter when he heard me, creating an opening for Alastor and managing to stab him through his chest. Aidan gathered the last of his strength to wrap his hand around Alastor’s neck. I panicked and grabbed the forgotten pipe and bashed him over the head, making him go limp on top of Al.

Alastor moved the body to the side and with a relieved look on his face, he moves forwards and pulls me in a tight hug.

“I was so scared. Did you get hurt?” he frets over me.

“You’re not scared of me? I just killed a-a person, Al,” I asked afraid of his reaction.

“Heavens no! I’m more relieved you’re not hurt,” he replied letting go of the hug and placing his hand to the side of my face.

Relieved that Alastor didn’t leave her despite her sins, she finally broke down as she recounted the traumatic events that had happened, including the times where she comforted herself to sleep crying after Aidan was done playing with her, causing all these bottled up grievances to burst out. While Alastor did his best to comfort her in an embrace.

“We should probably leave now. It won’t take long before someone calls the police,” he explained holding on to her shoulder. I only nodded my head shakily still rattled and followed his lead.

He covered the body and lifted it over his shoulder keeping it steady while his free grabbed my hand and ran far far away. We eventually ended in a forest where we buried the body. I wiped the sweat off my brow breathing deeply from all the extraneous activities. After that was all done, Alastor led me to a cabin outside the hunting grounds.

“Where are we?” I asked while looking at the old furniture and the floorboards that creaked.

“My house,” he stated simply offering me a glass of water. I took and drank all of it without a second thought making Alastor tug a very subtle smile on his lips at how she completely trusted him.

“Al, we just killed a man and buried him. What if they figure out that we did it? What will happen to us?” I ramble, face going pale from different scenarios going through my mind.

He kneels in front of me a frown adorning his face when he saw how distraught I was and replied, “I’ll never let them hurt you. I promise, they will never know.”

“What about you, Al! What if they take you away from me. I don’t want to be separated from you!” I yelled hoping he’d care about his own well-being.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he said reading through me and holding my face in his hands, “I’ll never ever leave you, not if I can’t help it.”

My eyebrows furrowed still unconvinced, “How can you be so sure?”

His eyebrows drooped and a wry smile takes place while putting his hands on my knees obediently, “I’ve been hiding from them for years now. They haven’t had any idea that it was me. Knowing a lot of people surely has its perks.” I looked at him confused. “The first person killed was when I was 16, on the day that my mother died, and I’ve been running ever since.”

“I’m sorry I lied to you. But I never wanted you to be involved in this dirty past of mine,” he apologizes. “But I swear on my life that I never had any bad intention towards you. All I want is for you to be safe and free from worry.”

It took a very long time before one of us did or said anything. I took his hand, stood up and walked him towards the balcony that we walked past getting here. And just watched as the sun slowly rose hand in hand.

“I guess this is how we live for the rest of our lives now,” I uttered just above a whisper to the wind.

“I’ll protect you. No matter what.”

“Me too. You can depend on me… I love you, Al.”

“Thank you, Miledy.”

#hazbin fotel fanfic #hazbin hotel #hazbin lucifer #hazbin hotel fanfiction #hazbin hotel x reader #hazbin husk #hazbin alastor #hazbin angel dust #hazbin charlie #alastor x oc #alastor x reader #alastor #hazbin husker #hazbin vaggie #hazbin nifty

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archangeldyke-all · 3 months

Note

Are your Sevika requests still open? 🥺👉🏽👈🏽

I have this idea in my head that I can't get out. I'm not a huge fan of the concept of having kids (not for me!) but I can't help but think of Sevika very slowly changing her attitude and priorities around fighting for the cause because she just found out she's gonna be a dad in the future. Her hesitating around something Silco asks or mentions and her being like "I..I got a kid on the way." Cis or trans Sevika, doesn't matter either way

sevika requests are always open :) and this is the cutest thing i've ever heard.

i don't want kids either, but for sevika?? i'd have so many of her kids that the doctors would have to tell me to stop before my body gives out.

men and minors dni

you and sevika don't want kids. it's not in your plan.

sevika's got a dangerous job. it took years of convincing, years of proving to her that you'd be okay without her, that you want her just as she is now, for her to finally give in and make you hers.

and you're perfectly content.

she works horrible hours and comes home beat up more often than not, but you take the time to patch her up each night, and the two of you spend every free second you have together.

she moved you into her place on your fourth date, and you've been happily living together ever since.

and two years ago, when she shyly shoved a tiny box in your hands and nervously looked away as you opened it, mumbling under her breath a question you could barely make out ('i was wonderin' if you'd like to maybe spend forever with me?') you said yes, with no hesitation.

you guys didn't get married. weddings in zaun are incredibly rare, saved only for the wealthiest, and getting a marriage certificate from piltover for two zaunite women is nearly impossible. but, you had a little ceremony in the last drop (which was really just an excuse to throw a rager) to commemorate your eternal love for one another.

and since then, you've been perfectly happy with your little life.

but, accidents happen.

accidents like sevika swearing she'll pull out, begging to feel you without the condom, then cumming the second she pushes inside of you, whimpering and apologizing and cursing your hot, wet cunt.

accidents like you sleeping through the alarm for your pill.

accidents like sevika forgetting to grab a plan b on the way home, too busy fiddling with the tooth some goon knocked loose in her jaw to remember.

and, usually, these accidents lead to nothing happening. so you and sevika assume it's safe to keep letting them happen.

but then, your period's a week late.

and then two.

and then you take a pregnancy test, and it comes out positive.

and then you take three more, and they're all positive too.

you're paralyzed with shock and fear. you spend the entire day sitting in the bathroom, staring at the positive tests on the counter, crying and laughing, then crying again.

the thing is, you're not opposed to having kids. and now that you know you'll have one in nine months or so, you're fucking elated. but you know sevika doesn't feel the same. and the thought of losing her because of the cells growing inside of you, the thought of having to choose between sevika and the tiny little fucker you're already in love with-- it kills you.

sevika comes home to find you having a panic on the bathroom floor.

"babe, you'll never guess what silco did toda-- what the fuck!?" she exclaims, immediately dropping to her knees and gathering you up in her arms. "baby-- what's wrong? are you hurt?" she asks, grabbing your face in her hands and forcing you to look at her, her eyes flying over your body, checking for injuries. you just cry more, already mourning the loss of her touch that you've grown so used to.

"i-i-i'm sorry." you cry out. sevika blinks at you.

"for what?!" she asks. "baby, you're freaking me out, what's going on?" she asks, panic in her eyes.

you take a shaky breath then reach up to grab one of the tests on the counter behind you, sobbing as you bring it down to hold against your chest.

"i'm sorry, sev, i c-can't-- i don't think i can--"

"what's that?" she asks, gently reaching for your wrist to pull your hand away from your chest.

you gulp and bite your lip as you open your hand, letting her get a good look at the test.

the confusion on her face melts. a stoic look takes its place as she blinks down at the little plus sign on the little plastic test.

you look away from her face, too heartbroken to watch her process the news. tears stream down your face as sevika's hold on your wrist goes shaky, and you prepare yourself for her to pull away.

only, she doesn't.

if you had looked, you'd see the hesitant little smile pulling at the corner of her lips. if you had looked, you'd see the way she gulps like she always does when she's surprised, the tears welling up in her eyes, the way she took a silent gasp as she blinks down at the test in your hands.

you're shocked when she pulls you toward her chest, hugging you tight against her body.

"sev-- don't." you whimper. she blinks down at you.

"what-- whaddya mean 'don't'?" she asks. you take a shaky breath.

"if you're gonna leave just leave-- i can't-- you can't be nice to me, it'll kill me." you say.

sevika's heart breaks.

she's never wanted kids. and you're fine with that.

but the second she saw the test, something happened inside of her, something swirling and giddy and nervous. something kinda like how she feels for you, but a little different. a little deeper, a little less hot and a little more familiar.

everything else in her world fades away. the stories she's been dying to tell you all day, the fire in her heart for zaun, the sounds of drunkards stumbling by your apartment, it all goes silent. it's just you and her, and in that moment, sevika realizes that maybe a kid wouldn't be the worst thing in the world. especially not with you.

sevika kisses your forehead, tears welling up in her eyes at the sound of your muffled sobs.

"i'm not leaving you baby, don't be ridiclious." she says. you cry aloud at her words, wrapping your arms around her back and clawing at her shoulders, trying to pull her impossibly closer to you.

"don't say that." you whisper, shakily.

"i'm not just sayin' it. i mean it. we promised each other through thick and thin, right?" she asks. you nod against her.

"but you don't--"

"i don't care." she says. "i'm a fucking idiot, you know that." she says. you let out a shaky laugh. "i'm not leaving." she says again.

in your first trimester, sevika's still a little hesitant-- still a little distant.

she's not sure how to handle all the emotions in her body, all the love and anxiety swirling up at all times. she puts her energy into making you comfortable, holding you when morning sickness takes hold, stocking up on prenatal vitamins and your favorite snacks, pampering you even more than usual.

this, she can handle. she loves taking care of you, she loves babying you, and with all the anxiety in her mind surrounding the baby, caring for you helps her quell it.

she doesn't talk about the baby much. she's still too nervous to talk about it.

but in your second trimester, you start showing. no longer just a little extra fat on your stomach, your baby's actually visible now. your shirts start riding up your abdomen, a little swell peaking out every time you stretch or move, and she can no longer ignore it-- there's a baby in your belly. and it's hers. and it'll be here soon.

you wake up many nights with gas or aches, and find sevika already awake, a furrow in her brow and her lip between her teeth as she gnaws on it. you ask her what she's thinking about, and she just curls around your body and kisses you back to sleep.

sometimes, you wake up to her hand hesitantly rubbing your belly, like she's scared to touch you. you just rest your hand on top of hers, interlacing your fingers and keeping her hand on your stomach while you both fall back asleep.

if she was better with words, if she had the words to express herself, sevika would tell you that she's scared. she hasn't even met the little fucker yet, and she already loves it more than anything else in her life. it terrifies her, for all the same reasons you do. she has a dangerous job, and second in command to a revolution isn't a suitable job title for a new mom.

sevika knows what it's like to grow up without a parent.

sevika knows what it's like to grow up with a jaded parent, too, someone who's closed their heart off to the world to avoid being hurt, and in turn can no longer love. and she doesn't want to do that to your baby. she doesn't want to do that to you either.

and at work, when she gets in scuffles, or gets a knife drawn on her, or gets shot at, it takes her twice as long to catch her breath.

since meeting you, she's always seen your face flash before her eyes when she dodges a fatal hit. and now, it's ten times worse.

sevika was never scared to die before she met you. and then, seemingly overnight, she became horrified of dying-- scared of what her dying would do to you. she can barely stand seeing you suffer from a headache, the thought of leaving you behind, the thought of breaking your heart like that-- it nearly kills her.

and now she's got a kid to think of too.

so, one late night, sevika approaches silco with a grimace on her face and a case of fancy imported cigars in her hands.

he knows something's up. he's known for months. but he lets her stutter out an explanation as she pushes the case across his desk.

"i-- i think you need to find a new number two." she mumbles. he raises an eyebrow at her.

"second thoughts about the cause?" he asks, flipping open the lid of the case and grinning at the quality.

"no, never." she spits out. silco chuckles and holds a hand up, reassuring her that he was only teasing.

"it's your wife?" he asks. sevika blushes at the word 'wife' like she always does, then looks away.

"no. she's tough, she'd be fine without me." she says fondly. "i..." she gulps then takes a deep breath. "we've got a kid on the way, silco." she whispers.

he freezes, his jaw dropping in shock. sevika never calls him silco, no matter how many times he insists she does. she's serious.

"i didn't take you for the mothering type." he says. she chuckles.

"no, neither did i." she says with a shrug. "but... i'm not mad about it." she says. "i'm... actually really excited." she whispers.

silco laughs, then rises from his seat, rounding his desk to shake sevika's hand. it's the closest to a hug the two of them will ever get.

"you'll be an amazing mother." he says sincerely. she has to blink back tears at his words. "come, let's smoke to celebrate." he says, waving her over to his desk.

the two of them spend the night negotiating a new position in silco's crew for her. she'll stay on as his consultant and strategist, and take on more responsibilities at the legally run bar and club downstairs, but he'll be finding somebody else to take on the more dangerous and criminal aspects of her job.

sevika doesn't tell you for a few weeks, until the change is complete.

she stops coming home with bruises and scrapes. she starts being lot more openly lovey dovey, no longer waiting for the dark of night to place a hand on your stomach, praising you at any chance she can get, even buying parenting books and beginning the 'babyproofing' process.

you don't ask her what's up, knowing she'll tell you in time.

and one day, you get home from work to a home cooked meal and candles on the dinner table.

sevika grins at the sight of you. you fawn at the way she walks you to the table, pulling the chair out for you, pressing kisses to your head and shoulders.

"what's going on?" you ask, giggling as she sits beside you. (she never sits across from you, she can't touch you from the opposite end of the table.)

"i'm in love with you." she says. you laugh.

"we've been married for two years sev, you better be." you say. she laughs, and kisses you again.

"i've never been more excited for my future in my entire life." she says quietly against your lips. tears well up in your eyes as you grab her hand. "we're having a baby." she says reverently, like it's the first time she's finally processing it. you don't tease her for it, you just squeeze her hand in yours and kiss up the tears that race down her cheeks.

"we are."

"and it's gonna be here in three months." she says, a beaming smile on her lips. you smile right back and nod.

"it is."

"i... i want to be the best mother i can be for the little fucker." she whispers, staring down at your stomach. "i want to be the best wife i can be for you." she adds on, her eyes flicking back up to you.

you nod at her, still unsure of where she's going with her conversation.

"and i can't do that if i'm dead." she says. you blink and nod and she sighs. "i talked with silco. we got a new arrangement for me at work." she explains. "just paperwork from here on out." she says. "i'm gonna get all lazy and weak sittin' behind a desk but..." she shrugs. "it's worth it for you two." she says.

you abandon dinner to fuck sevika on the dining room table.

(it's not a big deal though, sevika's never been a good cook, and she tried her best, but the food that grows cold on the table was already burnt and unevenly cooked and so over-seasoned it was basically just a pan of garlic powder.)

silco, surprisingly, is incredibly invested in the little fucker. sevika comes home once or twice a week with a new onsie or toy for the baby, gifted to her by your kid's self-appointed god-father.

by your third trimester, sevika's more excited than you are for the baby to come into the world, which is a hard feat, because you're constantly achy and sore and peeing and bloated and uncomfortable and cursing sev for ever putting her hands on you in the first place. she takes all your complaints in stride, endlessly spoiling you, constantly massaging your feet and tits and shoulders, pressing kisses against all your hormonal acne and strange patches of hair, accompanying you to the bathroom the fifty times you have to go a day.

and when your daughter finally arrives, sevika cries like a baby the first time she holds her.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

#stay tuned because the next request is answering an ask about sevika during readers labor and delivery!!!#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika

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bonny-kookoo · 5 months

Note

Hi Ms Bonny

So I remembered you said no one sends asks for the ilysib couple anymore, and I just had this idea last night but didn't have the energy to pick up my phone again💀

Okay so, basically kookie shaves his head right, maybe for the weather or his hair was damaged or I don't know really I'll need your creative mind for that part👀 and he becomes a little self conscious and oc comforts him by saying he's still😋 and he doesn't believe her. So she takes him out on a date and like before, everyone is looking at him and basically building his confidence back up.

PS I really hope you get this ask because I've sent some for this couple before and it was never answered

Tumblr sometimes eats asks, I'm so sorry :(

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──💜── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

He's avoiding you- and that's just so not your Jungkookie.

You thought everything was going well between the two of you- but apparently something must've happened to make him so withdrawn again, refusing to see you, refusing to meet up, refusing to show himself. You're not sure what's wrong-

But you're about to find out.

"You know, I'll just camp outside then, I don't care!" You threaten, sitting in front of his apartment door, stubborn as ever- when his voice is finally heard.

"You'll laugh." He whines, before you can hear something slide along the door before it falls to the floor with a thud- he's probably sat down on the other side of the door. "You'll.. I look stupid." He says.

"Did you dye your hair or something?" You ask, and he's quiet, making you angry. "Jeon Jungkook you could've buzzed it all off and well full on Vin Diesel on me what do I care! Are you serious right now?!" You get up to knock on the door and right his doorbell again. "Open that goddam door, I'm worried about you, nerd!" You cry out again, even stomping your leg in anger.

"No, I'm.. I'm fine. Just.." he stumbles over the words, clearly panicking.

"I'm sorry." You say, and it's quiet. "I.. I'm sorry if my constant joking has gone too far at some point, if I made you feel like.. self conscious or something, I swear I never wanted to do that." You confess, feeling terrible. This must be your doing, right? It has to be your fault. Because you're insensitive as fuck, and you can't read a room, and you got way too comfortable with him and-

The door opens. He stands in front of you, beanie on his head.

"Its.. it's not your fault." He tells you. "You didn't do anything." Jungkook mumbles, and you can't help yourself.

You basically tackle the poor guy, door falling out of his grip and closing behind you, making you successfully infiltrate his home. He holds you because he's missed you too- he hates the fact that he couldn't have you this close for days by now, no physical contact with you whatsoever, no visual sight of you. It felt like torture-

But he just feels like he can't face you.

"Why are you doing this?" You whine, tears clear in your eyes, making your eyelashes already heavy with them. You're not even wearing makeup today, he notices. This must've really gotten to you.

You're still so pretty.

"What happened?" You worry, and he begins to bite his lips, a nasty habit he has whenever he's nervous. "Jungkook.." you say his full name, no variation of it, no silly petname.

He knows it's serious.

"I.. look stupid." He confesses. "I.. had an accident, a few days ago, in the bathroom." He sighs, sitting down on his couch with you, while you listen. "I slipped when I stepped out the shower, and hit.. my head on the edge of one of the cabinets.."

"Oh Jungkookie-" you whine.

"And- and they had to like.. cause my hair was so long they couldn't stitch it without, you know, shaving it, and it looked dumb when I came home so I thought might as well buzz it all off-"

You're quiet, staring at him.

"Are you okay now?" You ask, oddly serious.

"Yeah, they kept me overnight to make sure I was fine-" he answers, before you shove him, hard, angry.

"You stupid idiot!" You scold. "You're so dumb! What the fuck?!" You complain, angry tears in your eyes. "What the hell do I care about your hair?! You could've died or something, and all you thought about was how you could look to me? Am I that shallow to you?" You ask him, and he shakes his head.

He deserves this. You're right.

"No.." he denies, taking the scolding like a dog that's being told off. "No you're not. I just.. felt weird. Like I'm not.. fit for you anymore. You should have a nice looking boyfriend and all that, and you always said how you love my hair-"

"I love you most!" You whine, leaning forward to climb on his lap, and cling to him. "I love you, not your body. That's just.. that's just the only thing I can touch, so I want you to take care of it.." you explain into his chest. "..so it'll be here for as long as possible.. until we're all wrinkly and old.."

"Oh." He hums, realizing what you mean.

He's never thought about it that way. But you're right- he doesn't love your body first and foremost either, but you- your personality, your soul, your mind. Your body is simply the vessel you live in, and he'd want you to keep it up and running for as long as he's alive too.

"I'm sorry." He confesses. "I'll never do that again."

"I sure dare you to, I swear I'm gonna break in next time!" You threaten, letting him dry your tears before your hands reach for his beanie. "..can I see it?" You wonder, and he looks down, shrugging.

"I guess." He confirms.

The moment you skip his hat off, you search for something- finding the small stitched wound near the tip of his ear, making you immediately coo at it, fingers carefully touching it. "Does it still hurt?" You wonder- and he shakes his head.

"Just a little, if I lay on it or something." He admits.

"Oh my baby-" You whine, before you rub his head. "This feels weird though. How is it still soft?" You wonder, taking the pressure away from the situation, making him laugh. "And you honestly rock this look. Now you really do look like a guy who can throw a punch."

"..I can and will, for you." He mumbles, making you laugh again.

"Heh, and I lo~ove you for it!" You sing a little, kissing his nose before you kiss his lips a couple of times, cheeks held in your hands.

And he can't believe he's been living without this for just a week.

He never wants to miss you ever again.

#bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #jungkook imagine #jeon jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagine #bts jungkook imagine #bts jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #bts jungkook x reader #jeon jungkook imagines #jungkook imagines

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megumiya · 2 years

Text

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐘 𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆

feat ; eren, jean, armin

synopsis ; aot boys reaction when they catch u masturbating

includes ; degradation, fat cock jean, breeding kink, manhandling, voyeourism, fem masturbation, use of toys, dom!armin, male masturbation

— a/n ; just horny for being caught while playing with myself lmao JAILLL

TIP JAR if u would like to support me!

minors do not interact

♡ 𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐍

— no shame, at all. To be completely honest he probably have had perv dreams about catching you like this even before you two started dating. So, he gets a massive boner and is ready to shove it where it belongs: in your warm cunt

“i knew you were a horny mess,” he says as he leans on the door, hand coming to grab the outline of his massive cock through his grey sweatpants, “but not that you were this pathetic.”

“ eren!,” you cry out, trying to use the sheets to cover your indecency. but there’s no use. with the smoothness of a apex predator, he makes his way to your bed and snatch the white fabrics from your fingers. “w-what are u doing?!”

“giving you what your whore hole needs,” opening your legs with rough hands, he spits on your already wet core and frees his thick cock from his pants, lining it with your waiting entrance. and with one harsh thrust he fulfills your hungry pussy’s needs.

♡ 𝐉𝐄𝐀𝐍

— this pretty boy gets very flustered when he catches you having your fun without him and is high-key jealous. Gets all worked up and bossy, a silicon dick can’t replace him! and, he is gonna make sure you remember that.

“really, doll? a fake cock?” there’s more disappointment than anger in his voice. jean says shaking his head with flushed cheeks as he lays next to you on the bed. “Is this shit really making you moan so lewdly?”

“i- ah!” your brain can barely comprehend what’s going on when jean grabs the base of the purple dildo and shoves it into the deepest of your insides almost kissing your cervix. “Mmh what did you say? couldn’t hear you”

jean purrs before giving another thrust, finally keeping a steady pace. “i’m gonna c-cum!” you pant, and all movements stop. jean maneuvers you so that you lay on your side as he positions himself behind you holding one of your legs up and spreading your second lips to accommodate his massive cock. “finally, you are prep enough to take a real fat cock”

♡ 𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐈𝐍

— his consciousness tells him to close his eyes and to apologize but his dick thinks otherwise. Blue eyes remain glue to your cunt as he slowly gets all hot and bothered not sure if he should keep watching or join the fun.

“shit- armin i didn’t know you were home” you murmur, closing your legs with your hand still in between your thighs, fingers inside you. blinking a few times armin’s face starts heating up as he takes a sharp breath. “i didn’t mean for you to see me-”

“who told you to stop.” armin’s aura changes in a split of a second causing your walls to twitch. with heavy steps he brings a chair in front of the bed before sitting on it. “keep playing with yourself gorgeous, don’t mind me”

you knew it was an order and so you did. armin unzipped his pants with lustful eyes as you parted your thighs again unwrapping your intimacy to those blue eyes. you start rubbing your clit at the same pace he strokes his pink cock, speeding up until you spill your arousal on the bed sheets with a sinful cry. “good girl~ now, do it again, bouncing on my dick”

©𝐌𝐄𝐆𝐔𝐌𝐈𝐘𝐀 2021 — do not modify or repost

#eren smut #eren jaeger smut #jean smut #jean kirschtein smut #eren x you #jean x reader smut #armin x reader #eren x reader smut #eren x reader #aot x reader #aot smut #aot x you #armin smut #armin x you

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loveywon · 1 year

Text

♡𓂃 WAIT FOR ME !

part 2 of break my heart again!

pairing: jungwon x gn!reader x niki

wc: 4.6k+

synopsis: you’ll always be waiting for jungwon to finally reciprocate your feelings, but niki will always be waiting for you.

warnings: angst but its not that bad i promise u (i think), open ending(?), swearing i think, sullyoon (nmixx) mentioned, high school au, not proofread its so bad out here

a/n: this was purely written with no draft no outline no nothing everything came out of my ass so if its a little messy… u know why. and no part 3 sorry!!

It’s been almost a month since Jungwon started dating Sullyoon, and you feel yourself starting to form unhealthy coping mechanisms. Niki, is of course, trying to not indulge in your coping mechanisms because he knows it’s not good in the end for you and that it’s not really coping, but he’s a little selfish because one of your unhealthy coping mechanisms is using him to distract yourself whenever Jungwon chooses to hang out with Sullyoon rather than you.

He knows he shouldn’t, and he feels a little guilty and sick when you leave his house after crying into his chest for what seemed like the millionth time. But when he gets to touch your soft hair, your sniffles dying out after finding comfort within Niki even if he didn’t really offer anything more than a couple soothing rubs to your back and playing with your hair, how can he not give in to you?

He also knows that he’d rather be the one you cry yourself to sleep with than any other guy, and just the thought of it makes him hold you tighter to his chest.

You, on the other hand, feel a little guilty as well. You’re sure that Niki is tired of your crying and having to wash his shirts every time you leave because by the time you’re done, his shirt is wet and stained with your tears. You can’t help it, because as much as you try to hate Sullyoon for being the one that Jungwon chose, she’s too nice to you. Always giving you the warmest welcome hugs when you first greet her and Jungwon at their lockers, offering you her strawberry milk because she remembered that Jungwon said you liked strawberry milk, or brushing your hair for you when you walked into school looking like a trainwreck (you cried the night before and knocked out at Niki’s).

You want to hate her so bad, it’s almost eating you inside over the fact that you simply can’t, because she didn’t do anything wrong. It’s not her fault that Jungwon chose her over you, and you start to understand why he picked Sullyoon. You voice this one night to Niki on one of your walks back to your home, and Niki is actually angry at the fact that you think Sullyoon is any better than you.

He didn't say anything, he always listened. You think that’s why it makes it so easy to talk to Niki about your feelings because you feel like he’s not judging you, despite his narrow eyes that many people think otherwise. You honestly hesitated helping him in ceramics two years ago because he always carried an intimidating aura, but you’re glad that you did. You wouldn’t trade Niki for the world, he’s always there for you, and you acknowledge that.

“Wonie!” Sullyoon calls out to him after catching up with him in the hallways, stopping by his side as she tries to catch her breath.

Jungwon stops and turns to look at her after just walking you to your class, and he smiles upon seeing his girlfriend. “Hey! What’s up? Why’re you late?” He asks while grabbing her by the shoulders, chuckling at her because she's just oh so cute.

Sullyoon stands back up straight, putting her hair behind her ear. “I lost track of time and had to run to make it! My mom refused to drive me,” she feigns a frown before linking arms with Jungwon and starting to walk to her class. “Did you just walk Y/n to their class just now? They have physics, right?”

Jungwon nods, “yeah, I did. Y/n hates physics, though,” he laughs, reminiscing about the time you two had science together last year and you caused the fire alarm to go off because of the smoke that you accidentally also caused. “Y/n suck at any science, but it’s fine. I’m sure they’ll pass anyway, I’m helping them study for the test next week too.”

It’s not that Sullyoon dislikes it when Jungwon talks about you, it’s more of a bitter feeling, especially seeing his eyes light up differently when he talks to you versus herself. She thinks that maybe it’s just because she can’t see it for herself because her friends all reassured her that her and Jungwon are so cute together. She convinces herself it’s just because you and Jungwon have been friends for forever, and that anyone would talk about their best friend like that. Plus, she could never think badly of you, ever. You two became closer after Jungwon asked her out, and she sees you as a close friend more than ever, and she trusts you around Jungwon.

She just doesn’t know if she trusts Jungwon around you, though.

“Ah,” she simply says, looking down at the floor. It’s a little awkward for two minutes until they reach Sullyoon’s class. “See you at lunch?” She asks with a smile on her face, and Jungwon nods with a grin before waving her goodbye and heading his way to his own class.

As Sullyoon walks inside the cafeteria, she immediately spots Jungwon, Niki, and you sitting at your usual table, and a smile makes her way onto her face as she quickly grabs her lunch and makes her way to the table.

“Hi!” You beam upon seeing Sullyoon take her seat next to Jungwon. You’re seated next to Niki and you sit across from Jungwon. Niki and Jungwon greet Sullyoon as well, and she says her hello’s in return.

“How was class?” Jungwon asks, his head turning to Sullyoon, completely forgetting about the previous ongoing conversation you and him were having before Sullyoon arrived. Completely normal, you think. You eat your lunch in silence as the couple carry out a conversation on their own, while Niki is typing away at his phone.

You peer over, being the nosy person that you are. You see that he’s scrolling through Tiktok, and he’s stuck on a funny video that he’s been giggling at for a while now. You find yourself laughing a little too, and Jungwon turns his attention to the two of you giggling, your cheek pressed up against Niki’s shoulder.

Jungwon’s not aware, but Sullyoon takes notice on how his hold on his chopsticks tighten slightly upon seeing you and Niki. She frowns a little, but she’s quick with grabbing Jungwon’s attention back onto her again. His attention only lasts every minute or so as he’s stealing quick glances at you and Niki laughing at Tiktok’s together.

He’s barely paying any attention to anything that Sullyoon is saying as she rambles about homework that her teacher assigned in her math class, and he only gives slight hums as a reply. Desperate to get your attention back on Jungwon, he calls out your name and you lift your head up from Niki’s shoulder and tilt your head, “Yeah?”

“We’re still studying tomorrow for your physics test, right?” He asks, even though he already confirmed last night, he felt like he was getting queasy from seeing you and Niki laugh about something together that didn’t include him.

“Oh! Yeah, of course. Thanks for helping me again, I don’t know what I would do without you!” You grin before engaging in a conversation with Sullyoon and Jungwon again.

Jungwon thinks he succeeded upon getting your attention again, and Niki merely rolls his eyes and continues to scroll through Tiktok because he knows Jungwon’s motives but he can’t say anything to you because he knows you’re not going to take it well.

Niki only wants to see you happy, and even if you end up with Jungwon, he thinks he’ll be okay because you’re no longer having puffy eyes every morning with a red nose from crying all night.

“So…how’re things going with you and Sullyoon?” You ask Jungwon as the two of you make your way into your home, and suddenly Jungwon is hit with the memory of seeing you with Niki on the couch last month. This was the first time he stepped into your home after that time, and he feels sick to the stomach.

“It’s going good! She’s super pretty and sweet, I couldn’t ask for more,” he said, but his words sound almost empty if you didn’t know any better, and you don’t because you tune out his answer. You don’t want to know, you think any answer he gives you would make you cry on the spot.

So you just nod and take a seat on the couch, the same couch Jungwon saw you sleeping on Niki’s shoulder. His stomach churns, and he gulps, reluctantly making his way to the couch and taking his seat where Niki previously sat a month ago. Why is he so caught up with what he saw a whole month ago, Jungwon thinks to himself, and he can’t find an answer, so instead, he pushes it to the back of his mind and focuses on helping you study for your physics test.

A few hours pass, and you start to doze off, head nodding off as Jungwon reads something off of the textbook. He sighs, patting your head to get your attention and you immediately blink up at him, straightening your back. He chuckles at your action, and he gives you a dimpled smile. “I can get you some water, maybe it’ll help keep you up. I’ll be right back,” he offers and gets up from his seat, making his way to your kitchen to pour you a glass of water. When he comes back, your head is downwards, hair shielding your face and you’re clearly asleep. He smiles softly. It’s been a while since he’s hung out with you like this, even if it is just studying, and it’s refreshing to see you relaxed and asleep because he knows that you struggle under stress and can’t handle it when you have a test coming up, especially when it’s a science related test.

He sits back down, placing the glass of water on the coffee table and he gently takes your head, guiding it to his shoulder. You only stir slightly, but you’re still asleep. Jungwon thinks this is only fair. If Niki gets to feel you sleep on his shoulder, then he should too. You always insist so strongly that you and Niki are only friends after Jungwon constantly pries you with questions about you and Niki, so this was normal, right? This is what friends do.

But Sullyoon is his girlfriend, and yet he’s never let Sullyoon lean her head on his shoulder. He doesn’t think much about it, he convinces himself that the time will come soon, and that it’s because you and him are comfortable after knowing each other for so long, right? Right, so he simply admires your sleeping state and plays with the ends of your hair, knowing that you like it whenever he does it because you told him two years ago when you two were studying one day.

There’s a slight, guilty feeling stirring in his gut, and no matter how hard he tries to not think about it, his mind crosses to Sullyoon. Sullyoon would be fine with this, right? She never had any issue with you, in fact, he’s ecstatic that you and Sullyoon got so close. His two favorite people bonding together; what more could he ask for? But he can’t help but let himself indulge in this little moment with you, because it’s been so long since he’s spent time with you like this, and soon he finds himself in a slumber with you on the couch.

The next morning you see Jungwon at school, you try to avoid him. You had awoken before him, and you almost yelped upon realizing that you were laying on his shoulder. You don’t remember how you got there, but you feel extremely guilty because you would never interfere in between Jungwon and Sullyoon, ruining their relationship even though you are in love with Jungwon.

You dig through your locker, not daring to look around since you’re scared of meeting eye contact with either Jungwon or Sullyoon, so you stall, pretending to look for something as you bury your head in your locker.

“What’re ya looking for?” Niki asks, shoulder leaning against the locker beside yours. “The bell is about to ring. You should quickly find what you’re looking for.” You jump a bit at the sound of his voice, and you release a breath you didn’t realize you were holding in.

“Sorry, I’m not looking for anything,” You reply, shutting your locker and clicking the lock. Niki raises a brow at your weird behavior, arms crossing against his chest like he’s about to interrogate you.

“What happened last night?” He asks, and it catches you off guard because you forgot that Jungwon asked about you two studying yesterday during lunch, but also because how did he know?

You blink at him and then quickly look around the hallway for any sign of Jungwon. You spot him talking to Sullyoon, and you turn back to Niki, hands pushing his chest to guide him further down the hall. “Woah! What’s the rush…” He grumbles, following your lead before you halt to a stop, next to your class.

“I fell asleep on Jungwon’s shoulder…” you mumble quietly, and Niki almost misses it. He stares at you, brows furrowing together. He doesn’t understand. He knows you wouldn’t purposefully fall asleep on his shoulder, right? You’re not that type of person, he thinks. You’re never the one to sabotage someone else because of something that you’ve wanted, so why is he denying that you fell asleep on his shoulder?

“What?” Is all he asks, because he wants clarification.

“It was an accident!” You clear up, waving your hands in the air, “But I don’t really remember how I did…because I was just falling asleep while studying and Jungwon wasn’t even sitting next to me when I fell asleep.” You say, eyes glancing around the hallway in case Jungwon or Sullyoon are walking around.

He slowly nods, starting to understand. He rolls his eyes, putting together the pieces before you even could. Sometimes, he wishes that you weren’t so blindly in love with Jungwon so then you could see that he put your head on his shoulder. Well, and also so you can realize that he’s been waiting for you to see him all along.

You acknowledge him, and that’s enough for Niki. Or at least, it used to be. He understands what you’re going through, and he dares to even say he’s in the same position as you and knows first-hand what you’re feeling. But, he feels almost exhausted, having to sit and watch you cry over someone who seems to not realize that you’re everything that any person could wish for. Niki would never say that he’s the patient type, but he’s always patient for you, and he thinks he’ll wait for an entire lifetime for you. Now, he’s thinking that you’re starting to test his patience.

He grits his teeth, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by you. “I don’t know– maybe I’m overthinking it. Sorry, let’s go inside,” you gesture to the classroom that you two share, and he can barely fight off a roll of his eyes before letting him get dragged by you inside the classroom.

During class, you’re aware that Niki’s been glancing at you, and you would say occasionally glancing, but it definitely is more than occasionally. You also are aware that it’s not the good kind of glancing, and more of a this conversation is not over glancing. You bite on your bottom lip, trying to avoid any eye contact with Niki as class passes on. By the time the bell rings, you’re quickly packing up your stuff but Niki’s already hovering by your desk, waiting for you.

“He obviously put your head there.” He bluntly states, and you’re relieved that most of the students have already filed out of the class and just a few remain so not many hear what he’s saying.

You sigh, grabbing your backpack and swinging it over your shoulder. “I don’t know, it’s really not that big of a deal…I guess it just freaked me out a little. But it’s not that weird, right? I sleep on your shoulders sometimes…” you mumble, and in your head it didn’t sound that weird but now that you say it out loud, you feel your cheeks get a little hot.

Niki purses his lips in a flat line, slowly nodding his head. No big deal, to sleep on someone's shoulders, to you, but to him, he feels like he’s on top of the world when he feels you relax into him when you fall into a slumber. Maybe you just didn’t understand because no one has fallen asleep on you, he thinks.

“Right.” Is all he says in reply, causing you to look at him as you two walk down the hall to your next class. You feel bad, and you know exactly why you do. It’s obvious that it’s not not a big deal, and it is a big deal. You think it’s even more of a big deal because it’s Niki, someone who’s not fond of any physical touch and he lets you sleep on his shoulder, and he doesn’t dare move an inch in case he wakes you.

You chew on your bottom lip, thinking of some way to possibly change the awfully awkward atmosphere that you created. “Wanna go to the café after school again? I miss the strawberry croissant we got last time,” you smile at him, and he returns it easily along with a nod of agreement.

“Of course I do, I’ll see you later then, yeah?”

You’re sitting with Niki during lunch time, and normally Jungwon would be here by now, but both him and Sullyoon are nowhere to be seen. You shrug it off, because you assume that it’s just them doing coupley things by themselves, and you try to not think about it too much.

Niki feels relieved when you don’t bring up Jungwon not being here for lunch.

On the other hand, Jungwon’s arm is being dragged by Sullyoon outside of the school courtyard. “What’s this about? Are you okay?” He asks, because he’s never seen Sullyoon mad, ever, and it worries him.

Sullyoon stops with a huff, crossing her arms across her chest. “No, I’m not okay,” she starts, and Jungwon likes to think he’s intently listening to her, but his head glances through the school doors, his mind thinking that he needs to get to the cafeteria before lunch ends to see you.

Sullyoon sighs, shaking her head, “Jungwon. Please spare me five minutes of your time. Just this once.” He blinks at her, confused, but he nods anyway.

“We should break up.” She simply blurts, and Jungwon’s reaction is exactly what she expected it to be. He blinks at her once more, tilts his head, and blinks again in confusion.

“Why? I thought we were doing okay yesterday…” he trails off when Sullyoon raises her hand and waves him off.

“It’s not me, it’s you. Jungwon, I like you a lot, and you’re so funny and sweet, and I feel very lucky to know what it feels like to be your girlfriend, but I think someone else can treat you better than I can, and they’ve been waiting for a while, too.” Sullyoon explains, a soft yet sad smile on her features, and Jungwon frowns because he simply doesn’t understand where this is coming from.

He shakes his head in confusion, “What? Sorry, what? Who is this ‘someone else’ and why can they treat me better? I want you!”

Sullyoon sighs again. “No, you don’t want me. You want Y/n. I can see it in the way you talk about them. Your eyes shine bright, more than they ever do when you talk about me, and you always chase for their attention, not mine. And that’s okay, I’ve pretty much come to terms with it. I just don’t know why you haven’t.”

Jungwon splutters, and he’s at a loss for words.

“You don’t have to say anything. I just want to ask you something.” Jungwon nods, indicating for her to ask her question. “Why do you hold yourself back when it comes to Y/n?”

Jungwon paces back and forth in the empty classroom. Sullyoon’s question bugged him so much that he skipped class, something that he’s never done before in his entire high school career. His brows are furrowed, her voice replaying in his mind as he lets out a frustrated sigh. How is he supposed to answer that question? He wasn’t even aware that he was holding himself back two hours ago! He rubs his face with his hand, silently grumbling to himself as he tries to rack his brain for an answer because if he doesn’t, Sullyoon’s voice will just keep repeating in his head and he’s afraid he’ll go mad.

He thinks back to when he first met you. A fond smile appears on his features, the scene in his mind is so vivid as he remembers every detail about the outfit you were wearing, how your hair was styled, and the way you simply carried yourself on the first day of school. He slaps a hand over his mouth, catching himself smiling as he reminisces younger you. “Get it together,” he mutters to himself, shaking his head as he continues to pace back and forth. Jungwon always admired the way you presented yourself. You cared about your appearance, but not to the point where it was obnoxious checking yourself out every ten seconds, but enough to make yourself feel confident, and Jungwon wishes he could learn that from you. He then realizes there are many other things that he admires about you, and he sighs once more.

You are too good for him. It was why he rejected you in the first place – he thinks at the time, he wasn’t good enough to be your boyfriend, but he was dedicated to work on himself for you, so that he could be the boyfriend that you deserve. He frowns. He thinks that now, he’s lost you. As time passes, you start to become friends with Niki and he notices the way Niki looks at you, the same way Jungwon looks at you. At first, he didn’t think much of it. Niki was younger than you, and you expressed to him one time that you’re not really interested in younger guys. Jungwon was confident that you’d still be with him in the end, until you and Niki started to share more time together.

He’s definitely lost you, Jungwon thinks, and he frowns deeply at that. He feels stupid, he fails to understand why his past self decided to make you wait for him. He should have immediately accepted your confession, then you two would live happily forever after. Unfortunately, he let himself get distracted with Sullyoon and academics that he failed to fully dedicate time for a better version of himself for you.

Better late than never, Jungwon thinks as he looks at the time in the empty classroom, and the last class of the day is about to end. He quickly rushes outside the hallway, heading straight to your locker so he can ask you if you want to hang out today, and maybe he’ll finally return your confession. He only hopes you still feel the same.

The bell finally rings, and Niki awaits for you outside your classroom when you’re done packing up. “Hey!” You greet, and Niki returns with a smile and a wave.

“Are you excited to go eat strawberry croissants?” He asks, nudging your shoulder playfully as the two of you make your way down the hallway to your locker. You’re too busy chatting with Niki to see Jungwon waiting for you beside your locker, not to mention his nervous fidgeting of his fingers and shoes tapping on the floor repeatedly.

“Of course I am! I miss them so much, it’s too good. If I had to pay ten dollars for one croissant, I’d still–”

“Y/n,” Jungwon says as soon as you reach your locker, and your head turns away from Niki, meeting eyes with Jungwon. You gape, blinking once as if you hallucinated him there.

“Oh…hey, what’s up?” You ask, and you immediately pick up on Jungwon’s nervous habits that he does. You furrow your brows in concern, and you almost ask if he’s alright but Jungwon beats you.

“Wanna go to the park right now? I got something I wanna–”

“Y/n and I are going to the café right now, actually.” Niki interrupts, stepping forward but he’s still behind you, and you feel his chest touching your shoulder. You bite your lip as you squeeze your eyes shut, this cannot be happening right now, you think, because Niki has never really spoken up around Jungwon. You always assumed it was just because he was shy, but you start to think it’s because of other reasons.

“Oh, well– then Y/n, café or park?” Jungwon doesn’t spare Niki a glance, his eyes are kept on you as he awaits your answer.

You want to evaporate. He might as well have said me or Niki, you think.

You know yourself well, or at least you like to think you do. Which means you know that Jungwon will always come first to you, and that no matter what, in any universe, Jungwon will have your heart. You think he always will, and it aches to even admit it based on the empty and meaningless pining of two years for Jungwon. You got nothing in return. You feel like an idiot for even still loving Jungwon, because anyone with a sense of mind would turn the other way and move on. But you think other people just don’t understand Jungwon.

You waited for a reason, and that reason is because you know that Jungwon will eventually come around, and that when the stars align, you and Jungwon will be the end. In a way, you think Jungwon has also waited for you. He’s never failed to make you feel appreciated and loved, and even though he’s never expressed it through words, you just know. And he’s finally, finally, starting to.

“I promised Niki I’d go with him today, sorry, Jungwon. Maybe next time?” You smile, and you feel Niki relax from behind you, but you also see Jungwon’s fist clench in a tight fist by his side.

A part of you feels bad, even though you know you shouldn’t. You waited for two years. Two years too long. If Jungwon thinks that he’d still get you after rejection for two years, he’s wrong, and you feel it’s fair if he waits for two years, and if he does, you know yourself well enough that you’d come back to him. You always do.

Another part of you wants to cry. You have been practically dreaming of the moment Jungwon initiates anything with you, and he finally does, but you don’t accept it. Past you would absolutely cry about this, but present you feels a little giddy about focusing your time on someone who has been showing that they care about you the entire time.

You grab onto Niki’s arm, tugging on it slightly and he takes it as his signal to leave the school building. You give a wave goodbye to Jungwon, and he’s left standing there, with a newfound dedication to wait for you.

taglist!: @hafsa-hoofsa-heefs @wonniesluvv

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joeybsversion · 9 months

Text

Come Home

Joe Burrow x Reader

Joe sees you out with a new guy after your breakup.

“Shit.” You muttered. You’d recognize that laugh anywhere. You looked around the room through the crowd of people drinking, laughing, and dancing until you spotted him. Those damn Cartier glasses on his face complemented by a big smile.

“What’s wrong babe?” Your boyfriend asked, following your gaze across the room to see what or who you were looking at.

“Oh nothing,” you made yourself look busy and fumbled through your purse, “I thought I left my wallet up at the bar, but it’s right here.” You pulled it out and gave him a reassuring smile. “Should we sit right here?” You pulled out a chair from the high top and took a seat before he even answered.

“Works for me.” He grinned and took a seat. “Isn’t that some of the bengals players over there?” He motioned to a group of guys.

“Where?” You asked, acting like you hadn’t seen them already.

“I bet it is. Out celebrating after their win tonight. I heard they come here!”

“That’s cool!” You chimed in, acting as though you hadn’t been here on multiple occasions after games with Joe.

You took a sip of your drink, fixed your hair, and laughed at every word your boyfriend said, just doing your best to make yourself look busy and act like you hadn’t even noticed your ex boyfriend across the room. You’ve only been seeing your current boyfriend for a few months now. It’s been super casual and you hadn’t mentioned your previous relationship with Joe. It’s not like you’d been avoiding the conversation, you just hadn’t had the chance to say “Hey, you know your favorite quarterback, Joe Burrow? Yeah so him and I actually dated for 4 years. Things were super serious, but it just didn’t work out.” You let out a small laugh as the thought crossed your mind.

“What’s so funny?” Your boyfriend asked.

“Nothing.” You smiled “Just enjoying my drink.” You took another sip.

“I’ll go get you another one.” He smiled and left the table to join the crowd at the bar all trying to get a drink.

You pulled out your phone and scrolled through Instagram, singing along to the song that was on.

“Hey.” You felt a hand on your shoulder and heard a familiar voice behind you.

“Joe.. hey.” You acted surprised.

“Whose the new guy?”

“Skipping the small talk I see.” You rolled your eyes. “No one you know and honestly none of your business.” You turned back to your phone.

“Is it serious?” He continued.

“It’s serious enough.” You answered and he continued to stand next to you. “What? Why are you asking me these questions and why do you even care?” You asked. “You left me, remember?” You tilted your head to the side, waiting for a response. “So why do you care who I’m with? And if it’s serious or not? I’m happy, I’m at peace, and he loves me. I don’t pop into your life and disturb you. So please, stay out of mine.” You pressed your straw to your lips and took another big drink.

He continued to stare. “What? What do you want?” You asked.

“One more question and then I’ll leave.” He said. “How do you know he loves you?” You could hear the hurt in his voice.

You looked at your ex and shook your head, “because the way he looks at me when he thinks I’m not looking, is the way I use to look at you..”

You both stared at each other in silence. “I’m sorry… for how things ended.” Joe said and looked down. “I really am sorry.”

“Joe, to be completely real with you right now, getting over you was a horrific and traumatic thing to go through. I spent countless nights crying over someone who didn’t give me a second thought or an explanation for the pain they caused me. One day though, I began to heal.” You took a deep breath. “Now when I think about you, I remember the lessons you taught me and wish you the best.”

“Please don’t act like what happened to us was easy for me to go through.” You could hear the anger in his voice. “People always say that it hurts the most at night and apparently screaming into your pillow at 3 AM is the equivalent of being heart broken. But sometimes it would be 7 AM on a Tuesday morning and I’d catch a whiff of peppermint tea and it would make me miss you so much I wouldn’t know what to do.” He finished, letting out a big sigh and walking back over to his team.

You sat in silence, thinking over everything Joe had just said. Analyzing his words, and his facial expressions, and the way his voice cracked when he said he missed you so much he didn’t know what to do.”

“Sorry babe, long line.” Your boyfriend set your drink down and pressed a kiss to your forehead. “Everything ok?” He asked. “Earlier you were so giggly, and now you seem down.”

“Yeah, just not feeling very good all of a sudden.” You assured him.

“Too much to drink?”

“Something like that.” You turned to see Joe walking out of the bar alone. Pulling his hood over his head and keeping his face towards the ground. “Was he crying?” You thought to yourself. You turned around and the rest of the team was still celebrating.

“That is the Bengals!” Your boyfriend pointed in the direction you were already looking. “I asked the bar tender. He said they come here a lot after games. He said Joe was even here!” He looked around the group excitedly trying to catch a glimpse of his favorite quarter back.

You smiled back at him “cool.”

“I’m going to go close out our tab.. let’s get you home. Go get some fresh air, I’ll meet you out front.” He excused himself from the table again and made his way up to the bar.

You gathered your belongings and grabbed your phone. You felt a quick buzz and looked down, you had a missed call and voicemail from Joe.

You quickly pressed your phone to your ear. “Hey. I’m really not sure of much right now. But I am sure of one thing, I was in love with you.” You could hear his voice shaking over the phone. “I am still in love with you… and love isn’t something you give up on. So I’ve chosen not to give up on you. I won’t give up on you.” Your turned the volume up on your phone and pressed a finger into your opposite ear hoping to block out the noise of the busy bar. “One day, if you ever miss me, just know that you can come home to me…. Just come home already.” The message ended.

Butterflies somersaulted in your stomach as you rushed out the front door of the bar. You looked to your left and saw Joe climbing into the seat of a dark SUV.

“JOE! WAIT!!” You called after the car, attempting to wave it down as it pulled away from the curb. “Wait!” You yelled again, following in its direction.

The red break lights flashed bright as you continued to chase after it down the sidewalk. The door flung open and out came a hand “let’s go home, baby girl.”

#joe burrow #joe burrow fan fic #joe burrow fic #joe burrow fluff #joe burrow imagine #joe burrow insta au #joe burrow instagram #joe burrow one shot #joe burrow smut #joe burrow x reader #nfl smut #nfl fan fic #nfl fluff #nfl fic #nfl imagine #nfl #joe sheisty

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mina-saiyat · 2 months

Text

Twice Interactive Story Part 1077-1087

Cry For Me (Nayeon)

Following Jihyo back into your life, your time becomes more insufficient. Your free time is now fully occupied by Mina, Jihyo, and Dahyun every night. Sometime, you sleep with them separately, sometime together. For weekends, you occasionally visit Momo, but mostly at the gym. A quick sex after workout is the thing that you two do the most now, you don't even have time to visit her home.

'Leaving already?' Momo says as she wiping her hair after the shower.

'Sorry, Momo. I want to stay with you longer. But my schedule is really tight these days.' You say as you start to wearing your clothes.

Momo sadly gives you a kiss and sends you out.

You are now rushing to a fitting out works company, as Jihyo is really planning to connect the two flats. You would not object to the idea, as your home can become bigger.

You check your phone while you are on your way. You are texting Nayeon, although Jeongyeon told you to stay away from their life, but you have no intention to do so. You want to get Nayeon back. If Jeongyeon blocks your way, you would also crash her away.

You saw her ig updated. She is in Seoul now.

You tell Jihyo you may late and ask her to discuss the design with the designer first, and you drive straight to her somewhere near her parent's home, guessing she would go there first.

'I heard you are back to the town, maybe we can have a coffee? Near your parent's home.'

'Not interested, Y/N. Take your time. I am not visiting my family now.'

You are frustrated by her cold response, and then you see her sister just entered the Cafe. Although her family knows you two have broken up, in a bad way, no one knows because you cheated. Getting Nayeon's sister's help maybe a good option.

Though I know it would help my cause, I just leave and go home. Not wanting to possibly reveal what happened to cause us to break up.

You give up on relying on Nayeon's sister. You turn around and leave. However, the one you wanted to see appears. It's Nayeon, she carries lots of shopping bags, it seems she is busy on shopping when you text her.

When Nayeon sees you, her smile disappears. 'What are you doing here?' You can feel Nayeon is a bit angry seeing you here.

'I just want to talk, Nayeon. But I don't get a chance.'

Nayeon takes a deep breath and says. 'I don't think there is anything we need to talk about. We are over.'

'Come to my car, Nayeon.' Nayeon glazes at you for a second, and she follows you to the car.

'I am sorry, I should not come to find you without your permission.' You open the door of her and get in the driver’s seat.

Nayeon gets on the car, and she keeps glazing forward rather than looking at you. Sitting on the passenger seat makes her remember the time when you two were dating. 'It's meaningless to say this.'

"Maybe, but I still have things to say, Nayeon, and I think you do too. After all, you could have rejected my texts. You could've gone straight inside without getting in my car. There are things we both want to say." I turn to her and see her looking forward. "At least look at me, Nayeon."

Nayeon' chest bouncing fiercely, she seems still angry. 'Looking you or not is my choice, it's none of your business.' Nayeon yells as she turns around to look at you. 'Now go ahead for your bullshit.'

I stare into Nayeon's eyes. "I'm sorry for everything. All the pain and anguish, everything. I was selfish and cheated on you. I lost the best thing I ever had that day, and right now, I'm struggling. I want you to go on and forget about me, to live a happy life with someone who'll treat you well. Someone who won't cheat on you, but at the same time, I still want to be the one standing by your side. I keep thinking of you when I've been with other people. I know I've got no right, and I stand no chance at that ever being the case, though. I guess, in a way, I just wanted to see you again. Even if you hate my guts."

'Do you need to hear what you are talking about?'

'After that dinner, I told myself we may be back together, I wanted to get back together, so I came home and waited for you, whole night long. Where have you been then? You just go to find another girl and hooked up all night long.'

'When you fucked that girl, did you think about me? Did you think about we can be back together?’

‘And the one who cheated is you! Why am I supposed to be the one that pushes us back together?’ Nayeon screams and starts crying.

I pat Nayeon’s back. “I know, I know. I’ve felt awful since then. I thought you’d never want to see me ever again, and I drank too much after that. I did some things I’m not proud of. But more than anything, I’m sorry I hurt you the way I did. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t do any of that. I’m sorry, Nayeon. I should’ve tried to work things out, to make things better between us. It’s all my fault.”

Nayeon keeps crying. You get a tissue and want to wipe away her tears. But she turns around and looks annoyed, not wanting you to touch her.

'I am here, if you have anything want to say, I am here.' You hold the tissue for her.

Nayeon instead uses her hands to wipe the tears. 'I can blame you for days if you want me to talk.'

'I know it's ridiculous for begging you to forgive me. You would not do that.'

The car becomes silence, Nayeon doesn't talk, all you can hear is her cry.

You stare at Nayeon. The way she cries triggered something in your heart, and you want to conquer her again.

'I stop Jeongyeon to slap you doesn't mean I forgive you, I loved you, that's why I am hurted.'

"I know. I remember. I...I love you too. I still love you." I stay quiet for a moment. "I'm still not sure about Jeongyeon. She's... something else, hating my guts but still wanting to have sex with me. It's a little funny when you think about it." I say trying to joke about it.

'What? What did Jeongyeon tell you last time? Or do you want to have sex with her, too? I am so disappointed in you.' Nayeon yells at you and leaves the car.

'Wait Nayeon!' You follow her immediately

'I haven't finished, don't leave yet!' You grab her hand from behind.

'Let me go, I don't wanna talk to you.' Nayeon shakes her hand, wanting to leave you control.

'What do you want?' Nayeon finally stops and turns to face you, but what she does next make you shock.

'Pak!' Nayeon doesn't even notice she slaps you in face, she shocked either.

You touch your cheek with another hand, it's hot and red. It is not easier than Jeongyeon's one.

"I didn't and don't want to have sex with Jeongyeon. I thought of you, of how it would hurt you if I did that. She's the one who tried to have sex with me. She explained how your relationship with her was fake and thought that I'd show her how a guy could make you feel better than she could. I was never going to have sex with her." I take a deep breath, "I never was and never will because I was thinking of you. Goodbye Nayeon." I let her go and start to get back into my car.

You back on your car and caress your cheek, it's hurts, especially is Nayeon, who slaps you. You look out of the window. She is still standing there, looking at your car.

Things haven't gone as you planned, although you can see a little progress. Looking at Nayeon, you are thinking should you come down to talk with her after she has calmed down.

I stare back at Nayeon, wanting to continue talking to her. So, I do as much waiting for her to calm down before trying to talk to her again.

You leave your car and walk back to her. You think she is calm, so you step closer to her.

'Don't get too close.' Nayeon takes one step backward. 'Anything you still want?'

"Are you alright?" I ask, worried as to why she had stood in place for so long. "I mean, you've been standing there for a long time."

'No, I am just making sure you are leaving and not waiting for me again.' Nayeon suddenly walks toward you, you are curious that she just tells you to stay away from her.

Nayeon comes and hugs you. You grab her in your arms, feeling her existence, and your heart is finally complete again.

"Nayeon?" I shut up at that moment and just hold her in my arms. Squeezing her as if never wanting to let her go again. I'll wait until I feel her pull away to let go.

You hold Nayeon tighter, afraid she will disappear at the next second. Nayeon squeezes you tighter too.

'Nayeon... Ah!!!' You moan painfully as you find Nayeon bites your shoulder. All the force is focused on her rabbit teeth, just like two drillers drilling on you. You only realize she hugs you so close is for she can bite you more easily.

Even though it hurts I continue to hold her tight, I smile and kiss the top of her head. "I still love you."

You hold Nayeon, let her bite you easier. Your feeling on your shoulder slowly fades out. You don't know if your shoulder still belongs to you.

You close your eyes and kiss her head. You know you deserve it. If you suffer this pain, then you can get her back. You are more than willing to do it.

Your hands go up to caress her neck, you know her body so well, and you reach for her sensitive spots. Nayeon releases a moan, and her body softens, 'Ummm...' Her teeth finally leave your shoulder. You feel you are sweating from the pain, you look at your shoulder, the blood is coloring your shirt.

Nayeon turns around to escape your glaze, her lips still have your blood. you can't contain your emotions, and you lean to kiss her. Nayeon tries to resist, she wants to bite your tongue, forcing you to withdraw. You already know what she would do.

You squeeze her cheek so she can't bite you. 'Ummm...' Slowly, Nayeon stops fighting anymore. She just lays on your arms and lets you kiss her.

You withdraw your tongue until you feel you can't breathe, Nayeon's face is totally red, her sight loss the focus, just leaning in your hug. The excited make out occupied her mind. Her mind is now full of your scent. Her brain can't even function properly because of that.

'Are you satisfied now?' Nayeon whispers. 'Let me go, please? Nayeon begs you. 'Give me some time to think about what we just talk alone.'

I hesitantly let her go. My hands travel down her arms until I hold her hands for a brief second before we completely separate. "Yeah. I guess I should go too." I pat her head before watching her walk away.

#minasaiyatis #twice smut #nayeon angst #nayeon smut #twice nayeon #twice imagines #female idol smut #girl group smut #kpop smut

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builtbybrokenbells · 4 months

Text

Catch-22 | iv

Sometimes new beginnings are really just the same old story hidden in disguise.

Masterlist

Read while listening: harvest moon - neil young

Pairing: Sam Kiszka x f!reader

Word Count: 14k

Warnings: SMUT 18+, unprotected sex, car sex, fingering (f!receiving), mentions of oral (f!receiving), praise, possessiveness/jealousy, biting, lots of dirty talk, mentions of masturbation, mentions of hookups/casual sex, name calling, drinking, mentions of addiction, mentions of cheating/cheating, arguing, swearing, fighting, mentions of breakups, crying, general angst/sadness, anxiety, sorry if I miss any!

i hate to say finally…. but finally some smut lol. sorry for the wait, and thank you for sticking around 🫶🏻 as always, be kind, enjoy, and don’t mind any grammar mistakes! (lightly edited, my apologies 😘)

“Where is my curling iron?” You exploded, pushing open the bathroom door with enough strength to knock it off its hinges. Your eldest sister peeked her head around her open door, looking at you with concern.

“Why are you screaming?” The house was full after months of the upstairs bedrooms being mostly vacant, and it had done nothing but cause chaos. Things were constantly getting lost, there was never any good food in the fridge, and it was beginning to feel like you were in high school all over again. As nice as it was for the first few days of the reunion, it was beginning to grow old. Brooke was back from her graduate studies for a few weeks to celebrate the holidays just the same as you, and Ellie was on Christmas break from high school. With all of you home constantly and nowhere to go, tension was begginning to rise at an alarming rate.

“I have somewhere to be in half an hour, and I can’t find it anywhere!” You explained, stress eating away at you.

“Did you have it in your room or the bathroom?” Brooke asked, now stepping out to join you in the search.

“I don’t know, I can’t remember.” You sighed, running a hand through your freshly blowdried hair. Brooke stepped towards the bathroom just as Ellie’s bedroom door opened. With a confused stare, she tried her best to piece together the cause of the commotion.

“Here!” Brooke called, sticking her arm out of the door, holding the exact thing you were looking for. With a sigh of relief, you grabbed it from her with a smile.

“Thank you.” You breathed.

“What’s got you all riled up?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“She’s got a date!” Ellie called out, rushing to join in on the conversation. Brooke raised an eyebrow, now curious about your plans for the night.

“Not a date!” You corrected, giving your youngest sibling a glare as you searched for the outlet to plug in the curling iron. “Dinner, and a very platonic one at that.” Ellie leaned against the doorway as Brooke hoisted herself up on the bathroom counter, both of them unwilling to retreat back to their rooms just yet.

“I wouldn’t be this worked up over dinner with a friend.” Brooke chuckled, looking through your makeup bag. “This is cute, where’d you get it?” She pulled out a lipgloss, inspecting the label.

“I’m not worked up,” You snipped, running a comb through your hair. “I just don’t want to be late. And I got it for my birthday, I don’t know where it came from.”

“Your friends have good taste.” She hummed, dropping it back in the bag as she continued looking through the rest of it. “Who’s your strictly platonic friend that you’re terrified to keep waiting?”

“No one you know.” You huffed, clipping the top section of your hair back. Ellie cackled at your dismissal, not willing to let you get away with such a lie.

“It’s Sam.” Brookes eyes widened as her head snapped up in your direction.

“Ellie!” You hissed.

“Sam Kiszka?” Brooke pressed, her eyes never leaving your face. “I never thought that would happen again.” Your face burned red, embarrassed and annoyed at their persistence.

“Nothing is happening, not now, not ever. It’s just dinner, catching up with an old friend. After this, we’ll probably never see each other again.”

“Uh-huh,” Brooke gave a slow nod, not believing a word you said. “Be careful, squirt. He’s notoriously good at breaking your heart. I don’t want to see you go through that again.” Your lips tightened as you held back a grimace, her reminder doing nothing but resurfacing an old ache in your heart that you’d worked hard to cover up.

“He can’t break my heart if he doesn’t have access it, and he most certainly doesn’t now, nor will he ever.” You muttered, wrapping your hair around the metal barrel of the curling iron. Brooke gave a slow nod, watching you struggle to keep the lock of hair in place. When it fell from around the iron for the third time, she rolled her eyes, slipping off the counter as she extended her hand towards you. “What?” You asked, looking at her through the mirror as you tried again.

“Let me do it.” She said, her tone soft and much more caring than usual. She would never say it, but every time Sam broke your heart, hers broke for you. She had her fair share of misery at the hands of boys, but never had she seen someone hurt another person so extensively. She had no idea why you were so drawn to him, and in turn, why he was so fascinated with making you fall for him only to throw it all in the garbage, but she was at peace with the fact she never would. Nobody else needed to understand the nature of your relationship, because it was yours and yours alone. As a sister, it was her job to call you stupid first and then comfort you through it later. She did her job well, and she would continue to do it for the rest of her life.

“Thanks.” You sighed, watching her curl the long locks of hair with ease. She grabbed a few clips from the counter and clipped the curls as she worked, choosing not to acknowledge your appreciation. Ellie took Brooke’s place on the counter, now taking her own turn to inspect your makeup bag.

“Has he changed?” Brooke asked, her stare fixated on the iron. She refused to look up and catch your gaze, fearful that you might see the apprehension in her eyes.

“I hope.” You shrugged. “He seems like he’s grown up, but every now and then, I see the same old Sam in his eyes when he looks at me for a minute too long.” You said, your own eyes fluttering towards the sink. “I’m not the same person, though, and I think that’s the difference. He doesn’t know me anymore, and he doesn’t have any power, either.” You were lying with a ferocious intensity, but nobody was willing to call you out on it. If there was one thing Sam knew, it was you; it did not matter if continents and oceans were between you, and not even if decades and centuries separated you from each other. It was a violent act of the universe to place someone with so much power over you directly in front of you, and you prayed that if his power had not lessened, your immunity to it had grown.

“And you’re sure that this is a strictly platonic event?” She said, moving on to the upper portion of your hair.

“Yes.” You assured her. “I made that very clear.”

“Good, because if you’re uncertain about that, he’ll pick up on it. They always do.” She did not hate Sam, and she never had. She hated the way he treated you, and she hated the way he promised things he could not do for you. Brooke found the Kiszka’s just as charming as you did, and she was no stranger to the difficulties of loving them. She had a brief history with Jake after the summer of her senior year, and they broke each others hearts more than you and Sam had ever done to each other in your entire lifetime. If she told you she was going to dinner with Jake, you would likely have the same reaction. “Is Josh home, too?” Her intentional exclusion of the other twin was duly noted, but it seemed as though all three of you had no interest in calling each other on your bullshit.

“Yeah, I saw him at the bar the other night. I didn’t talk to him, but I’m sure he’d love to see you.” She gave a dry chuckle at the formal response, but she did not believe you one bit. Josh felt for her the same as she felt about Sam.

“Leave these in until you’re ready to go.” She said, clipping the last lock of hair to your head. “If you don’t, you’ll ruin them.”

“Okay.” You nodded.

“I’ll get you a nice dress.” She said, patting your shoulder as she left the room. You knew her gestures were sympathetic, but you had faith in yourself to stay strong and refuse to give in to temptation. You had to, because you feared if you allowed Sam to break your heart again, you would never recover from it. While you waited for her to come back, you put on some foundation and dusted blush across your cheeks. You applied some light eyeshadow and mascara before swiping on a thin layer of lipgloss. By the time you were finished, Brooke had long returned and was lost in chatter with your youngest sister.

You picked up the dress from the counter, inspecting it closely. It was a simple one, but stunning nonetheless. You were grateful for her charitable contribution to your not-date, and you disappeared into your room to change. When you joined them in the bathroom, you held your arms out by your side as if to ask them what they thought. “You look beautiful.” Ellie gushed, always supporting you no matter if your decision was stupid or not.

“Thank you.” You breathed, beginning to unclip the curls from your head. When all of the pins were discarded in their place, you combed your fingers through the strands of hair and sprayed a touch of hairspray to keep it in place. Just as you set the can down, you heard your mother calling your name from the bottom of the stairs. Your heart sped as the anxiety began to creep back in. Ellie took to the closet, throwing a bottle of perfume at you, and Brooke searched a drawer for deodorant. As much as your sisters got on your nerves, they were your best friends in the whole world, and you knew that they would always have your back. When you were certain you were ready, you rushed to your room to grab a jacket and your purse. The other two met you in the hallway, ready to see you off.

“Have fun.” Ellie grinned.

“Be safe.” Brooke warned. “And smart.”

“I will.” You took a deep breath, trying to settle the shaking of your hands and your restless head.

“Can I come and say hi?” Ellie asked, hoping for a yes. She missed Sam, but not enough to overstep your boundaries. You couldn’t blame her for wanting to see him; he’d been nothing short of an older brother to her for years.

“F’course, bug.” You looked to Brooke, wondering if she would join. With a reluctant nod, she silently told you she’d follow. With little courage and a lot of heart, you took a step towards the stairs. You could hear joyful chatter sound from the kitchen, knowing that your mother had likely trapped Sam in an unavoidable conversation. When you stepped foot on the ground floor and peeked your head into the room, Sam seemed to immediately feel your presence. He looked to the stairs, giving you a smile that instantly warmed your heart and sent your stomach into a flurry of butterflies. You broke your stare from him, already regretting your decision to go out with him. A simple shared gaze from Sam was more powerful than anything from another, and you were slowly realizing that his hook was just as deep in your skin as it was the last time you saw him.

“You didn’t tell me you were going out with Sam, y/n!” Your mother scolded, but her tone was light. She was elated to see him, and despite your years of tortuous love, she still adored him like he was her very own son.

“My apologies, I’ll be sure to put out a flyer next time.” You said, trying to keep your humour alive despite the fear brooding over your head. You took a step closer to Sam, and the cloud of despair only seemed to grow larger. He was dressed in nice clothes, clearly just as anxious about the night as you were. When you were close enough that you could catch the scent of his cologne, you nearly fell to your knees in grief.

Sam Kiszka had never been just a friend, and he never would be. Before he even said a word to greet you, you were head over heels for him the same as you were all those years ago.

“You look nice.” You mustered the strength to speak, your eyes glued to his face as if it were the force that held you to the earth. You feared if you looked away, you would float away and descend into nothing.

“So do you, Rapunzel.” He extended his arm, drawing you in even closer. You accepted the gesture, melting into his touch as he wrapped you in a hug. It was the nicest interaction the two of you had since your duly cold reunion. When you pulled away, a part of you ached to continue the contact. Your body had been longing for him since you left him last, and now that he was within reach, you never wanted to let go.

“Hi, Sam.” Ellie cut in, a grin eating away at her face.

“Hey, bug.” He greeted her with just as much enthusiasm. “You’re all grown up now.”

“So are you.” She shrugged, chuckling at his surprise.

“Come here.” He beckoned her towards him for a hug, which she accepting happily. “How’s school going?”

“It’s high school.” She said, not knowing any better way to describe it.

“A little birdie told me that you’re the captain of the volleyball team?” He raised an eyebrow at her, curious to hear it from herself.

“I am.” She nodded, enthusiastic about the fact.

“That’s awesome, El. I know you’re going to do a great job.”

“Thank you,” she breathed, happy for the recognition.

“As much as I’d like to stay at talk all night, we’ve got a dinner reservation to make.” Sam said, casting a sideways glance at you. “You ready to go?”

“Yeah.” You nodded, slipping your jacket over your shoulders.

“Don’t be a stranger, dear. We’d love to see you again.” Your mom said, placing a delicate hand on his shoulder.

“Of course.” He agreed. “It was great seeing you again.”

“Oh, you too.” She sighed, reminiscing on the younger days when you and Sam were too little to get yourselves into any trouble. “Have fun tonight.”

“Thanks, mom. Love you.” You cut the conversation short, moving towards the door. Sam was close behind you, allowing you to slip your shoes on before he moved any further. When you looked over your shoulder at him, letting him know that you were ready to go, he made a move to open the door for you.

When you broke out into the cool evening air, you were brought back to reality with a ferocious sense of fear. The bubble of momentary bliss that came from having Sam around you and your family was so intense that it allowed you to forget about everything else. His arms wrapped around you felt so good that you were willing to overlook every injustice that he’d committed since the very beginning of time. As he opened the car door for you, you hesitated as you got in. Even if it was nice to be around him again, you were unsure if you were ready to deal with the consequences if the night ended poorly. Loving Sam was a dream come true, but being heartbroken over him was worse than any other pain in the world.

Sam Kiszka would be the death of you, and the small town of Frankenmuth would serve as a catalyst for the bitter end. For some reason, you were stuck believing it to be the other way around. You were not ready to accept that Sam was your vice, and not your childhood home that housed all of the hurt behind the walls. The house held what he had caused, but it was easier to blame the inanimate rather than the beating heart that moved in time with your own. He was the one thing that was impossible to give up, and on your deathbed you would still be clutching the memories with a fervor that none could understand.

“I’m happy you agreed to have dinner with me.” His sweet tone pulled you from your internal struggle, drawing your eyes towards his face and cementing your body to the seat below you.

Dinner was definitely not going to be platonic, nor had the agreement ever been reached with the intent of friendliness. You were both head over heels for each other and were hoping to relieve the happiest days of your lives while ignoring the worst of them.

“I am, too.” You whispered, begging your eyes to look at anything other than him.

“I was scared you might change your mind.” He confessed, both of his hands gripping the steering wheel tightly to ensure one would not find its place on your thigh. It was so easy to fall into routine with you; easier than falling asleep, and it was as dangerous as certain death. As badly as you feared getting hurt, he feared doing the hurting just as much. It was the worst curse in the world to only know how to cause harm to the person you only ever wanted to love, and it seemed like he was stuck with it. For him to blindly rekindle the love without first acknowledging the mistakes he made was reckless, and he wanted to show you he had changed.

“I’m surprised I didn’t.” You mumbled, finally freeing your stare from his face. You ran your fingers across the hem of your dress, mindlessly busying your hands so you couldn’t reach out to grab his own. The two of you were so similar, and the strength in which you felt for each other had never diminished.

“I wouldn’t blame you if you did.” He shrugged, trying to keep his eyes on the road. It was hard when you were sat next to him, because you were the only thing he wanted to look at. “Thank you for giving me a chance.”

“You don’t have to thank me.” You said, looking out at the streetlights illuminating the dark roads. “It wasn’t for charity.”

“That’s good, I guess.” He chuckled, turning the stereo up ever so slightly. Your eyes flickered to the display, a fizzle of excitement growing in your chest. A small smile graced his lips, noticing the moment just the same as you did.

“Did you play this on purpose?” You accused, but the sparkle in your eye told you it was all playful.

“It’s the radio, Rapunzel.” He laughed. “I’m not smart enough to plan ahead that much.” You reached over, turning the dial up a few more notches.

“Sing it with me?” You asked, hopeful that he would agree.

“Always.” He assured you, his heart pounding against his rib cage as he anticipated the lyrics.

“Come a little bit closer,

Hear what I have to say” his soft brown eyes were staring straight into your soul as he sang. His fingers nervously danced over the fretboard, vibrating with fear but continuing with hopes of pleasing you.

“Just like children sleepin’

We can dream this night away

But there’s a full moon risin’

Let’s go dancing in the light

We know where the music’s playin’

Let’s go out and feel the light” he took a shaky breath as he prepared himself for the chorus.

“Because I’m still in love with you

I want to see you dance again

Because I’m still in love with you

On this harvest moon” you sang softly alongside him, adoration radiating from you and enveloping him in a cloud of comfort. He slowed his playing to a near stop, only the distant hum of the strings reminding you he’d been playing at all.

“Did you learn that just for me, Sammy?” You asked, your fifteen year old self never before being on the recieving end of such a romantic gesture.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, nodding his head. His eyes were still focused on his hands, almost afraid to look up at you. “It’s stupid, I know, but it’s your favourite.”

“It’s not stupid,” you shook your head, appalled that he would even think that “it was beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it.” He breathed, finally finding the strength to meet your eyes. “I begged Jake to teach it to me. It was supposed to be a surprise for your birthday, but I couldn’t wait. I don’t know all of it, but I promise I’ll keep learning.”

“You’re the best, Sam.” You smiled, reaching out to cup his cheek in your hand.

“I love you, Rapunzel.”

“I love you more.”

God, how you wished it wasn’t true.

You were tired of living a lifetime where you always loved him more than he loved you.

By the time the song drew to a close, tears were prickling your eyes as your heart broke at the years of memories tied intricately to the song. He looked over at you, his eyes also damp with sorrowful reminiscence. “I haven’t listened to that song in a long time.” You confessed, a sad laugh sounding over the static hum of the radio.

“It reminds me of you every time I hear it.” He said, his eyes back on the road. It was not to ensure safety, but rather because he could not bear to look at you any longer without breaking down.

“Me too. That’s why I can’t listen to it anymore.” You bit down on the inside of your lip, stopping it from quivering from the tears begging to fall. “It’s still my favourite.”

“Mine too.” He said, pulling into the parking lot of the restaurant. “Maybe it was a sign, Princess.”

“Maybe so.” You sighed, swiping away any evidence of sadness that slipped onto your cheeks. “Guess we’ll never know for sure.” You hoped to god that he secretly planned the whole ordeal, mostly because it was too hard to digest the truth that the universe would always force you two back together.

“Maybe it’s better that way.” He offered, parking the car and turning it off. You hated to disagree, but you knew better than anyone that the uncertain was always more painful than certainty. That was exactly why your relationship with him hurt so much. You never knew how it would end, or if it would end for good. Your entire story with Sam ended on a cliffhanger, and you did not know if your heart could handle another one. “You want to go inside?”

“Yeah, sure.” You nodded, unbuckling your seatbelt. When you stepped outside, your bones were nearly aching from the cold air. Sam joined you by your side, wrapping an innocent arm around your shoulders to preserve any heat for you.

The outside of the small restaurant was covered in Christmas lights, all caked with a light layer of fluffy snow. Warm, yellow hues poured from the windows, inviting you inside with the promise of comfort. The open sign was flashing blues and reds at you, but the bulbs of the ‘O’ had blown out. You knew it would never be replaced; instead, it would be kept hanging and turned on (even in the darkness of the earliest hours, because someone always forgot to turn it off) until the very last light died. Even then, you were certain they would keep it there forever.

It was the fanciest restaurant on the downtown strip, but fancy in accordance to small town standards was nothing to call home about. The interior was nicely decorated, and the food tasted great (even if it was a bit pricey). They served good wine and had friendly staff, and you were content with his choice. He’d taken you here once before on a date, and you could recall it being quite enjoyable. Then again, time spent with Sam was most often spent happily.

He opened the door for you, allowing you inside first. When the door shut with a heavy thud behind you, he guided you towards the main room. He stopped at the front desk, letting the hostess know you were there for the 6:30 reservation. She grabbed two menus from her stack and guided you towards a secluded corner booth. You slipped off your jacket and placed it beside you as you sat down, watching as Sam did the same. They waitress asked if she could start you off with any beverages, in which you quickly asked for a glass of wine. Sam settled on water, knowing that he’d be driving you home. When she walked off to retrieve your drinks, Sam finally allowed himself to settle his focus solely on you.

“Josh and Jake are begging me to bring you over tonight.” He admitted, taking a quick look over the menu. “They miss you like crazy.”

“I miss them,” you chuckled, doing just the same. “Tell them they can always call me.”

“I think they’re worried about overstepping.” He explained. “Jake never really forgave himself for everything that went down.”

“It wasn’t Jake’s fault.” You said, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion.

“I know that, but you know what he’s like.” He said, a grimace crossing his face. “He thinks that because he invited you, he hurt you, too.”

“He’s an idiot.” You rolled your eyes. “I’ll have to go and see him, just to set the record straight.”

“Maybe,” he shrugged “he loves you just as much as I do. Just hurt him to see you hurting.”

“Tell him to blame it on his stupid brother.” You joked, sending him a smile, but he didn’t return it.

“He did that too, don’t worry.” He assured you. “They were pretty angry with me for a long time. I deserved every minute of it, but I don’t want you to think that they let me get away with it.”

“Oh,” you whispered, unsure of where to go from there. Part of you was happy that he received some sort of punishment for his behaviour, yet you felt guilty that they did so on your behalf and you never tried to stay in contact with them. There was a part of you that felt like you weren’t allowed to, that they were off limits and your relationship was only allowed to exist with them when you had one with Sam. Now that you thought about it, you realized how stupid you were for thinking so. The three other boys had been your friends for just as long as Sam had been, and you had punished them for a crime they did not commit. “I’ll definitely have to set that record straight, then.” He gave a solemn nod, pained at the memory of the look on your face that night. “Let’s put the sad stuff to the side, yeah? We came here to have fun, so let’s do that.”

“Yeah, okay.” He agreed, smiling at the waitress as she dropped off your drinks. “Is school considered a fun topic?”

“Depends; don’t ask me about my finals.” You joked, sipping at your wine.

“Noted.” He laughed. “How’s your classes, then?”

“Good.” You replied, still pondering your choice of dinner. “I took the big step and dived into poetry this semsester. Did you know that there’s so much to learn about writing pieces that take twenty seconds to read?”

“Yeah, it’s crazy.” He chuckled. “Poetry and music are pretty similar, right?”

“Yeah, I mean poems are basically songs waiting to be sung.” You agreed. “I wanted to wait until the end of my degree to get into it. Poetry’s always been my favourite, but it’s a lot to tackle. To me, it’s the hardest out of all the courses I’ve taken. I think it’s because it’s so emotionally taxing. The symbolism and the figurative language is really hard to perfect.”

“Harder than Shakespeare?” He raised an eyebrow, recalling his blatant distaste for the high school English courses that prided all of Shakespearean literature.

“I like Shakespeare, Sam. Not everyone hates it.” You reminded him. He raised his hand in surrender, showing you he wouldn’t argue it. “I only have three more classes to finish next semester, then the degree is in my hand.”

“You must be really excited.” He said, shaking his head in disbelief that time had stolen so much from him.

“I am, but not as much as I am scared.” You admitted. “I’m an adult now, and I have to get out into the world. I’m happy to have accomplished what I have, but I’m terrified at the same time.”

“This world has always turned just for you, Rapunzel. You have nothing to be afraid of.” He mumbled, his eyes falling to the table to hide the blatant love he held for you in his gaze.

“I used to say that about you, Sam.” You hummed, silently begging for him to look up at you. “The world can’t turn for the two of us.”

“It can.” He assured you, his gaze flickering back towards your face. “It has before, and it still can.”

“If I didn’t know better, I’d think that you were asking me to try again.” You said, noticing your wine glass was nearly empty. You made it a point to place it further away from you so you wouldn’t continue to give in to the temptation.

“I’m always asking you to try again.” He chuckled. “Even if it is indirectly.”

“That would defeat the whole point of a friendly dinner, would it not?” You questioned, leaning back in the booth as you studied his face. He was so different; the version of Sam sat before you was different from what you’d always known. He was older, and maturity graced his features. In his eyes, there was emotions that you weren’t able to place. His mind was different, too, even if you had a hard time to imagine it. When he spoke to you, the boyish humour and mannerisms seemed to disappear. He was replaced with a man that could only be described as a familiar stranger, and it hurt to see it. There was so much to be discovered, and so many forgotten feelings you were desperate to remember. You wanted to know him in all of the ways you once did and even beyond that. Not knowing Sam completely killed you, and you weren’t sure if you could survive another minute of it.

“It would.” He nodded. “That’s why I didn’t bring it up first.”

“So you were hoping I would?” You pressed, folding the edge of your napkin over itself to distract yourself from the thud of your heart against your chest.

“I’ve been hoping for two years that you would ask me to try again, even if I knew that it was never going to happen.” He was not shy to admit that he hadn’t moved on, nor had he ever tried. Even if the world seemed to work against you both, he knew that there was nobody that could compare to you. The love you gave him was sacred, better than anything he’d ever felt before, and he would go to the ends of the earth to feel it again. Before you could respond, the waitress returned to take your order.

When she went on her way, the air was filled with an uncomfortable silence. You did not know how to proceed, nor did you want to. Instead, you did what you knew best: avoiding the imminent elephant in the room with everything you had in you.

“How’s living in Nashville?” He watched you, stunned at your eagerness to move on from the topic at hand. He knew that you weren’t interested in rekindling any old flames, yet he thought you would at least want to talk about it.

“It’s good.” He cleared his throat, nodding as he spoke. “It’s lonely, but it’s good. It’s hard being away from home, but I’ve got my brothers there with me.”

“I never really felt that way.” You shrugged. “I guess maybe for a little while, but I was so glad to get out of here that I forgot to miss it.”

“Did you forget to miss me?” He was pushing his limits, seeing how far you would let him go before you put a stop to it.

“No,” you picked up your glass, realizing that intoxication was your best shot at making it through the night without any hateful comments. “I missed you more than I care to admit, but it wasn’t a happy feeling. It was bitter and resentful, but I certainly didn’t forget to miss you.” You swallowed down the last of the liquid, placing the cup down with a bit more force than intended. “Sorry, Sam.” You sighed. “I’m trying, I really am.” You promised.

“I know.” He said, chuckling at your inability to remain harsh. “Maybe that’s what we need.” He theorized.

“What?”

“You need to get it all out.” He said, giving you a smile. “You’ve been holding on to it for too long, and it’s killing you. Tonight is about moving on, so do it.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I’m following.” You let out a laugh, confused about his intent.

“Tell me everything you’ve ever wanted to say. Be as mean as you want. I’ll sit here, I’ll listen, and I’ll take it. God knows I deserve it.”

“I can’t do that.” You shook your head. “The past is the past, Sam.”

“Clearly it’s not living in the past. It haunts you every single day.” He leaned in a little closer, drawing your attention even further. “You deserve this, y/n.”

“Fine, you want me to tell you how I feel?” You asked, looking around to survey if there was anyone else within earshot. When the coast appeared clear, you flagged down the waitress to order two more glasses of wine. “I’ll tell you exactly how I feel, but you don’t get to be upset about it. You never get to throw it back in my face, and you never get to say that I was being too harsh. You asked for it, and I’ll give it, but you don’t get to go back on your word.”

“Pinky promise, princess. Those are sacred, remember?”

“Pinky promise it so it’ll last forever.” You raised your hand to him, holding out the digit while you awaited his response.

“What?” He laughed, looking at your hand with curiosity.

“You said we’ll be together forever, so pinky promise it. They’re sacred, Sam. You know that.”

“I do.” He nodded, raising his hand and intertwining his finger with yours. “I’d pinky promise you forever, Rapunzel, because I’ll never want anything more than you.”

You recoiled at his words as if he’d struck you across the face. Just as you did, your beverages were placed in front of you and the intruder was gone in an instant. “That. That’s exactly what I mean.” You snapped. “That’s why it’s so hard to love you, Sam. You walk back in my life after two years of fucking misery, and you remind me of all of these little things I’ve been begging myself to forget.” You hissed, furious that he would even bring that up. “You pinky promise to love me for the rest of my life, and you fuck it up, every time. You say that I’m your soulmate, and that I’m the only thing you want, but sometimes it feels like I’m the last thing you want.”

“Y/n-“

“No, you said I can say whatever’s on my mind.” You snapped, cutting him off. “I have loved you for my entire life. Sometimes it feels like loving you is the only thing I know how to do, or that it’s the very reason why I was put on this earth. I have given you my entire heart and soul, and I have loved you like my life depended on it since the minute I met you. I don’t think it’s brash of me to say that I was allowed to expect you to do the same.”

“It’s not, y/n.”

“The first time you broke my heart, I was devastated. I thought the world was ending. I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep; I spent every single night sleeping in Ellie’s bed because I was too upset to sleep in my own. I let you come back, I forgave you and decided it was for the best to move on, and then you did it again!” You smacked your palm against the table, all of the anger coursing through your veins too strong to keep locked inside. “I swore I was done, and I promised myself that I would never let you hurt me like that again. When we went to prom, I had to beg myself not to fall for you again. Then you showed up with your stupid smile and your pretty eyes, and I fell in love without even knowing it. You are the best thing that’s ever happened to me, but you’re also the worst. You’re like an addiction that I can’t kick, and I want to hate you so much that it makes me hate myself for feeling something so vile.” You chugged down the liquid in the newest glass in front of you, feeling the sting of tears in your eyes.

“The third time, I was convinced that it was forever. It was so different from anything that came before, and it was the longest that we had ever loved each other without hurting. I was planning to move to Nashville just to be with you when I finished school, to put all of my plans on pause so I could watch you live your dream!” Your hands shook as you pointed a finger at him, making sure to perfectly portray your hurt. You were on display for everyone to see, your betrayal and mistrust loud and your broken heart placed in a glass box for all to witness. “I walked into that house that night with nothing but love for you in my heart. I walked down the stairs after driving for hours to surprise you. I squeezed my way through that crowd just to be greeted by your arms around another girl while she stuck her tongue down your throat. You can hate me for walking away without saying anything, because that’s well within your rights, but you do not get to blame me for how I chose to move on from it.”

“I never blamed you,” he shook his head, a grimace on his face and tears shining in his own eyes.

“I packed up whatever was left of my life into a box, and I went back to Michigan State with the intent of never stepping foot in this town ever again. I was determined to forget you, or at least to hate you enough that it overshadowed all of the love, but I couldn’t even do that. I watched your name taunt me through a phone screen every time you called, I tortured myself looking at old pictures every night, and I killed myself over and over again as I replayed every tear filled apology left on my answering machine. Your memory has plagued me for years, and your touch has seared into my skin so much that there’s nothing left but scar tissue, and you get to waltz back in here and hope that I’ll give in and love you again?” You asked, the notion incredulous and unsettling you to the extent of insanity. “You see me at the bar, and you think you have the right to speak to me? You show up at my house and expect me to let you inside? And then you have enough nerve to ask me to dinner and hope that I end up in your bed?”

He had nothing to say. Instead, his head was pointed towards the table as the weight of your confession began to crush him.

“Is it a game to you, Sam? Is it fun to lead me on and let me go? Like fishing, a catch and release? You only want me until the thrill wears off?”

“Are you even listening to yourself?” He snapped, finally unable to withstand any more. “I have loved you just as much as you’ve loved me, for my entire life. You can accuse me of whatever you want, but you don’t get to accuse me of not loving you, y/n. I love you so much that it hurts, and it hurts me even more to know that I didn’t know how to love you right.” You sipped at your wine, washing the bitter taste from your mouth as he spoke.

“How else am I supposed to feel?” You rolled your eyes, finding his rebuttal weak. “You can’t say that you love me, then act completely different and expect me to believe you. Maybe I’m the idiot because I keep coming back, but I can’t walk away unless you let me go. This constant back and forth is going to kill us, and we owe it to ourselves to let go, Sam.”

“I can’t let you go, y/n, but you don’t get that. You just see me as the monster who wants to hurt you. We were kids when we fell in love. We loved each other without even knowing what that meant. I fucked up, and I’ll admit to that every day for the rest of my life, but I have never had intent to cause you harm.” He put his face in his hands, trying to wipe away the stress in his features. “It’s been two years. I live in a new city, and I have an entirely different life, but I still can’t seem to forget what it feels like to have you in bed next to me. I wanted to let you go, because part of me knows that it’s what’s best for you, and you deserve the peace after so much pain, but I just can’t do it. I saw you at that bar and I knew that we were there for a reason. Don’t you think after two years of nothing but silence, we should have made some progress? That we shouldn’t be this hung up on each other when we’ve been trying so hard to get over each other?”

For the first time since you arrived, you were too stunned to speak. There was no argument in your mind, because you knew he was right.

“I hate you, Sam. I hate you so much that it makes my head spin and my chest ache.” You muttered. “I’ve spent the last two years wishing I never met you.”

“I don’t blame you for feeling that way.” He whispered, trying to catch your eyes. “But I love you, Rapunzel. I don’t think I’ll ever stop. I'm afraid that if I let you walk away, I’ll wonder what life would have been like with you until the day I die.”

“I love you, Sammy.” You bit down on your lip, hiding the quiver that was taking hold. “I love you more than I could ever hate you, and that’s why it’s so hard for me.” You wiped away the tears littering your cheeks. “Every time I try to forget, I only ever seem to remember more. I will love you until the day I die, and I’ll still look for you even after death.”

“I’ve changed, Princess. I know you don’t believe me, and that’s okay, but you have to know that I’m not that person anymore. When I watched you walk away for what I thought was the last time, I knew I needed to be better, and not just for you, but for me. I can’t live my entire life hurting the people I love. When I saw you at the bar, I thought that maybe all of that work was for a bigger reason, and I finally had the chance to make up for everything that I’d done wrong. I couldn’t let you walk away without trying. I still can’t let you walk away without trying, so that’s what I’m doing. It’s not a sick game, it’s not a trick; I love you more than anything else in this world, and I know I always will.”

“God, we can’t do this again.” You shook your head, swallowing back a sob. He reached out, taking your hands in his. You hated that it immediately soothed you, the touch more comforting than anything you’d felt in the last two years of your life.

“We can’t, or you won’t?”

“Both! I don’t know, Sam. I don’t know anything! I came here tonight certain that I’d walk away with a clear head, but it’s only gotten worse. I thought I just wanted to be friends, but I know that when it comes to you, it will always be more.” You sighed.

“Look at me.” He pleaded, reaching out to guide your chin upwards. Your eyes connected with his, the tension between you two nearly too much to withstand. “I don’t know, either, but I do know that I have always loved not knowing anything with you by my side. I don’t need to know anything else, because when you’re around, it all makes sense.”

“Stop it,” you shook your head, but it was weak. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m not doing anything.”

“You are.” You scolded, but you could feel a smile begging to break free despite your sorrow. Even when it was painful, there always seemed to be a part of Sam that made everything better.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” He grinned, happy to see a spark of your old self still remaining inside your eyes.

“Stop,” you warned, holding back a laugh. “We’ve already made enough of a scene in the restaurant. They’re never going to let us back in here.”

“F’course they will. They need the business. Plus, it’s probably the most exciting thing they’ve seen all month.”

“You’re terrible.” You scolded, a giggle stuck in your throat.

“You love it.”

“I do.” You hummed, already in too deep to back away. His claws were deep, and you were too blind to notice the pain that stemmed from it. The temporary euphoria was too strong to resist.

“I'd like to kiss you, Rapunzel.” He whispered, his eyes locked with your own. “If that’s okay with you.”

“I don’t think it’ll matter either way.”

“Only if you want me to, y/n.” You took in a long breath, unsure of where to go from there. After a moment, you gave a weak nod against the hold of his hand.

“I do, Sam.”

Not even the slightest hint of hesitation was in sight, and within seconds, he leaned across the table and his lips found your own.

It was not earth shattering in any sense. There were no sparks flying nor an eruption of butterflies, but it was familiar, and god was it comfortable. It seemed as though it was the very thing your body had been yearning for, and suddenly, the world seemed right again. The ache in your chest subsided, and the emptiness that haunted you was filled with so much love that it began overflowing. You didn’t care that you were engaged in a blatant public display of affection, and you did not care that you were both uncomfortably laying across the wooden tabletop to engage in the aforementioned activity. The only thing that mattered was Sam, and he was the only thing that had ever mattered in your twenty-three years of living. Even when he was hurting you, and even when you were miles away, your heart only ever wanted him.

When he pulled away, the grief from the separation nearly brought tears to your eyes. You had missed him so much that you weren’t sure you could handle missing him again, even if it was superficial compared to what you had been feeling for the last two years. He looked over your face, the same type of yearning you felt for him. In that moment, you knew that all of what he said to you had to be true, because it was impossible to fake the emotion showing in his eyes.

“Do you want to get out of here?” He asked, still dangerously close to your face.

“Yes, please.” You nodded, your desperation evident, but little shame was to be found. With that, he sat back in his seat, pulling his wallet from his pocket and throwing a few bills on the table to cover your drinks and the meals that had yet to be served. He slid out of the booth, jacket in hand as he reached an arm out to you. You laced your fingers through his, grabbing onto your purse and coat as he pulled you to your feet.

In a mess of giggles, you both put your jackets on as you rushed out the door. You didn’t even care about the food you were so excited for, because your appetite for Sam was much more demanding. You were long overdue for a reunion, and the one you so badly wanted was not appropriate to be had inside a restaurant.

You could not even wait until you were in the car to touch him again. Before you were fully out of the restaurant, he was pulling you into his side, and before you had reached the vehicle, he had slipped an arm around your waist. He opened the door of the passenger seat for you, but before he let you climb inside, he pulled you into another kiss. It was heated, his body was pressed tightly against yours. The cold air could not even reach you, because you were too immersed in him. His hand was cupping your cheek, and his other had a firm grasp on your hip, holding you to him as if he was scared you would disappear. When you were both desperate for a full breath of air, he parted with great hesitation. He let his forehead rest on your own, not straying too far away from you in hopes that the closeness would make up for all of the lost time.

“I missed you more than you’ll ever know, Rapunzel.” He muttered, resisting the temptation to kiss you again.

“Me too,” you breathed, letting your eyes flutter closed. If you were not so aware of the effects of his searing touch, you would have believed it to be a dream. It would not be impossible for your brain to conjure such a story, mostly because you’d spent every night for the last two years dreaming to have him like this again. “We can’t go to my house. Everyone is home.” You chuckled, realizing that seclusion was near impossible with a family like yours.

“My family’s home, too. If I brought you back there, they’d never let you out of their sight.”

“We… we can go to our spot.” You said, almost reluctant to speak the memory into existence. It had been a long time since you visited, and you had already come to terms with never seeing it again.

“Okay.” He said, nearly brought to his knees by the strength in which he felt for you. He was almost surprised that you remembered it after so long, but he knew that if you felt even close to how he did, forgetting was the hardest part of living. In all of the time the two of you spent away from each other, not once could he remember what it felt like to be without you. No matter if it was years or miles separating you, the world was bleak without you by his side, and remembering with such clarity was the only thing that got him through it.

He placed another kiss on your lips, this one sweet and short-lived. He allowed you inside, and within an instant, he was in the driver's seat and the key was in the ignition.

You feared that the wine was clouding your judgment, or if the months worth of tortuous thoughts of him was driving you to make a decision that lacked any rationale, but when his hand slipped to your thigh and gave it a gentle squeeze of reassurance, you knew that being with Sam was always where you were meant to be.

The drive was silent, filled by the radio singing you songs of love and longing. The lyrics, although not always about the emotions your heart was feeling, seemed to twist and morph into a perfect descriptor of the love you had for him. You hated that no matter what it was, whether it be a song, a poem, a movie, or a couple sitting next to you on the bus, it was impossible not to see a picture of you and Sam, love struck and completely lost within each other. He was the whole world, and you just lived in it, begging him to be kind to you so you did not have to face any more tragedy.

He pulled on to a little dirt road, so secluded that the street lamps could not even penetrate the darkness. The headlights of the car did little for your visibility, but he had no fear of finding the place he’d missed so deeply. He would find his way back to it bloody and blindfolded, because it was the only spot where his heart truly felt at home. From the main road, there was a small cut off in the tree line. It was a trail so easily missed by those who weren’t looking, and it had quickly become your favorite hideaway. At the end of the narrow trail sat an opening. There was a plateau, dirt covered in a thin layer of snow that was fenced in by an old, rust eaten guard rail. Beyond the weathered metal was a plethora of trees that bordered the sky, and a clear view of the busy streets down below.

If you could go back in time and thank the curious teenage version of yourself for finding it, you believed even that would not be enough.

He parked the car and let it idle, fearful that the cold might claw its way into the comfortable bubble you’d grown inside of the vehicle. He looked to you, admiring your face that was illuminated by the extremely minimal daylight still hanging on to the bottom of the sky. The moon was overhead, the white glow casting a serene aura over the two of you.

“You know, I always said that I would ask you to marry me, here.” Sam whispered, wanting to look out at the breathtaking beauty of the landscape, but his eyes were glued on you. In truth, he knew that whatever lied outside the car window had minimal impact compared to the sight of your face.

“Don’t get any ideas, Kiszka.” You warned. Still, as you looked over at him with just as much adoration, you knew that if the words tumbled past his lips in a mess of anxious thoughts, you would say yes before he could even finish his sentence.

That was the horrendous thing about loving Sam; no matter how much he hurt you, or how long it had been since you were last with him, you always loved him just the same.

“You deserve more than a spur of the moment proposal.” He assured you, but did not deny the fact that he would still ask you to marry him given the chance.

“You don’t have to sweet talk me anymore; you already got me here.” You were captivated by his stare, unable to look at or think of anything else. The night was a whirlwind, and you had no idea how you ended up in such a position, yet there was a small part of you that knew long before you got in the car that you would end up immersed in him sooner or later.

“I’m not saying it to get what I want,” he said, pushing his seat all the way back. “I’m saying it because I want to, and because it’s true.” He extended his arm out to you, an invitation that you could not refuse. With his help, he guided you across the console and into his lap.

“You always know just what to say to get me to fall in love with you.” You said, raising a gentle hand to his cheek. As your fingers ghosted over the skin, you were struck with a type of longing that you could not even begin to comprehend. He was the same person who sat below you all of those years ago, with the same bumps and scars on his cheeks that nobody else had ever cared enough to notice. He had the same love in his eyes, and the same familiar scent that you could only ever describe as home. He was older, and so were you, but you were still the same stupid kids who fell too deeply in love.

“Why is it always my fault? Maybe I’m not doing anything at all and you just love me, Rapunzel, and you don’t want to admit it.”

“It’s easier to blame you than to admit that after all this time, I still feel the same way about you.”

“Then I guess I should start blaming you too, then.” He reached up, tucking a strand of your curled hair behind your ear. The night casted a dark shadow over your face, but not even the night could diminish the glow of your beauty. To him, nothing could ever outshine it. “I love you, y/n, and I never stopped loving you. I tried, but it’s impossible. This world is only worth living in if I get to love you.”

“All that song writing seems to have turned you into a sap.” You teased, but you couldn’t deny the swell of your heart as he spoke.

“I think it’s just you.” He admitted, his hand resting on your hip as he drew your face closer to his own. “All of those songs that I wrote always seem to come right back to you, Princess. You’re in everything I do, even if you don’t want to be. I can’t help it, and I can’t seem to stop.”

“Right now, I don’t want you to stop.” You chuckled. “I spent all of that time wondering why I couldn’t get over you, and why it was so easy for you. Maybe we’ve just gotten really good at pretending.”

“Maybe I’d make a good actor too, because nothing about these last two years have been easy, except for this part. It’s always easy with you, and it’s always been easy loving you. I just wish that I wasn’t so stupid, and I wish that I knew how to do it better, back then. You didn’t deserve a single thing that happened, and it kills me to know that I hurt the person who was willing to give me the world.”

“Shut up.” You shook your head. “I don’t want this to be sad. This isn’t supposed to be sad.”

“Okay,” he agreed, nodding as you spoke. “No more sad.” You gave him a half-smile. It was all your brain could muster as you watched his face, too enthralled in the small detail that you’d missed so much. Even after spending so many days denying it, you wanted this version of you to know that version of him, even if it may not last. You thought it was a shame for any version of you to not know him, and vice versa, because after so long spent loving someone, you felt cheated to miss out on any of it.

You leaned down, kissing him softly as your fingers laced with his hair. His hand tightened on you ever so slightly, showing you that your advance was welcome. You knew that even if the two of you sat there all night and never went any further, he would be just as happy. He never expected anything more than you were willing to give, and it was one of the very things that made him so unforgettable. But, you had been deprived of his touch for too long, and denying yourself any gratification was out of the question. You needed him more than you needed water, and you knew that the desperation was shared between you.

As his teeth sunk into your bottom lip with great caution, your hips grinded against his growing erection. It was a response that was automatic, and it sometimes felt as though your body would constantly be in search of his own. His hands moved to your thighs, his fingers snaking their way under the skirt of your dress and hiking it all the way up to your navel. Without breaking the kiss, his hands found your ass, pulling you down on him with a little more force every time your hips made a move of their own.

“God, I missed having you like this.” He muttered against your lips, nearly in euphoria just from the small movements.

“Me too,” You sighed, just as far gone as he was. “I thought about this every night.” You admitted, which was no lie. After the anger passed and the ache of missing him subsided, you often thought of his hands on you and his lips on your skin. Sam was your biggest guilty pleasure in every sense of the statement.

“Yeah?” He let his eyes flutter to your hips, nearly crazed by the thought of what was to come next. “Every night?”

“Every night.” You confirmed, uncaring about the blatant desperation laced in your words. You didn’t care if he knew how badly you wanted him, and you didn’t care if he knew how often you dreamed of it. Sex with him was the best you’d ever had, and even on the rare occasions that you’d find yourself with company for the night, you were still thinking of him. When the door closed behind the men you cared little about, it was Sam's face pictured so clearly in your mind as you made quick work at getting yourself off. He was the only one who ever knew how to do it, and he was the only person in the world who could make you feel this good.

“You had nobody to take care of you all this time?” He crooned, his eyes crossed with stars at the idea of you still needing him so badly.

“No one is as good as you.” You knew you shouldn’t be inflating his already too-large ego, but you couldn’t help it. It was so easy to want to please him, and even easier to do it.

“So you had no one to do it right.” He corrected, his jaw clenched tightly at the thought of someone else’s hands on you. He knew his jealousy was misplaced, and you being with other people was only a direct consequence of his own actions, but it still stung. Instead of punishing you for it, he knew that the only thing he could do was prove himself to you once again. “You poor little thing.” He sympathized, reaching one hand between your legs to relieve the ache that was steadily growing. You leaned back slightly, making the position a little more comfortable for both of you. His fingers ran over your clothed cunt, the action sending a shiver down your spine. You needed him so desperately that you weren’t sure you could wait a second longer. “This is what you need, baby?” He asked, his voice low and his eyes fixated on his hand.

“Fuck, yes.” You muttered, watching him watch you. His pleasure ridden expression was almost too much to bear, and you knew that nobody else in the world would be so pleased with pleasing you.

“Okay, angel.” He hummed, adding a little bit more pressure to his touch. “I’ll give you what you want, but I think we have some catching up to do.” He said, his eyes flickering to your face.

“What do you mean?” Your words were breathy, and you were barely focused on anything he was saying. The only thing you could think of was his hand between your legs and how long you’d waited to feel it again.

“It’s been so long since I’ve seen you, Princess. There’s lots that I missed out on.” He explained, his fingers pulling the fabric of your underwear to the side to allow himself access to you. “I’ll keep touching you as long as you keep talking to me.” You wanted to protest, knowing Sam well enough to know that his antics were not going to be as fun for you as they were for him, but as his fingers slid through your arousal and traced over your clit, you were willing to do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted it. “Does that sound okay?”

“O-okay,” you stuttered, already lost in the feeling of his touch.

“Good,” he hummed, carefully inspecting your expression as he continued his movements. You were irresistible to him, and he was just as much of a fool for you as you were for him. “So you’ve had no one to take care of you all this time?” He asked, the pad of his finger circling around your clit with a steady pace.

“No,” you let out a shaky breath, overwhelmed by the feeling.

“You’re telling me nobody knows how to treat her right?” His middle finger slid down towards your entrance, waiting to go any further until you responded.

“No, Sam.” You shook your head, placing your arm on the seat to brace yourself upright.

“Tell me what you did instead.” He said, locking his eyes with your own.

“W-what?” You stuttered, shocked at the filthy question. You had grown, and that was for certain, and even for a moment, he felt like he was having sex with an entirely different person. Then, your eyes would catch his own, or you would stumble over your words and your cheeks would dust red with a blush, and he knew that you were still the exact same woman he fell in love with so long ago.

“You said that nobody knows how to take care of you, so I want you to tell me what you did instead.” He repeated, slipping one digit inside of you. You let out a hiss of pleasure as your head fell backwards in bliss. “Tell me exactly what you did, sweet girl.”

“O-oh, god.” You groaned, feeling the familiar pressure pulsing in your stomach. If he wanted to play dirty, you could, too. “After I kicked them out, I locked the door behind them and turned off all the lights.” Your voice was weak, but he was listening intently. “Sometimes, I’d even light a candle or throw on some music.”

“Mhm,” he prompted you to continue, his eyes steadily flickering from your face down to your cunt.

“Then I’d get into bed, and I would make sure I was really comfortable. I’d close my eyes, and I’d think of you. I’d remember how good it felt when your hands were touching me, how nice it felt when your lips were kissing me.” Your breath hitched in your throat as he added another finger to you. “What I thought about the most was your tongue, and your head between my legs, and how much you loved to be there. I thought about how good it felt, and it would get me so bothered that I had to slip my fingers between my legs and touch myself while I thought about it.” He let out a groan, his eyes squeezing shut at the sound of your obscene story. He added his thumb to the mix, letting it brush over your clit with every pump of his fingers. The stimulation was fantastic, and he could tell you were getting close. As he felt you clench around his hands, he recalled all of the other times he’d made you cum the exact same way.

“Such a bad girl,” he let out a disapproving tsk “getting off to me after having someone else in your bed.”

“I had to, Sammy.” You pleaded with him, but you were unsure why you felt the need to defend yourself. “They couldn’t do it right. They couldn’t do it like you.”

“I know, baby.” He sympathized. “Nobody knew how to make my sweet girl feel good. That’s not your fault.” He assured you. “But, I need to hear you say it before I make you feel good, Princess.” You knew what he wanted, and you were almost willing to give it to him. You were so close to an orgasm that you were certain you would do absolutely anything he asked of you. You opened your eyes, first noticing the strained erection against his jeans. You swallowed hard, knowing that you would give anything for him to fuck you, now. You needed him so badly that you couldn’t even comprehend it. When you looked up to his face, a whimper left your lips. His eyes were blackened with lust, crazed at the thought of having you wrapped around him again. “Say it, and I’ll let you cum. I’ll treat her just how she deserves.”

“Nobody else can make me feel this good, Sam.” You let out a shaky sigh, hoping that he would be kind enough to grant you the pleasure. “You’re the only one who can do it right. I need it, baby. I need you.” His head fell back against the seat, a guttural groan tearing through his chest at the sound. He loved knowing that you were his, and you had always happily obliged to the need.

“That’s it, angel.” He was heavy on the pet names, unsure of how else to show you how much he still cared. If you still weren’t sure of it by the time the night was through, he did not know what else he could do to prove his point. “Show me how much you missed me,” he ordered. The permissive statement washed over you with a fervent intensity, and it was only seconds before you descended into the climax. Curses and moans filled the air, and his name painted the windows along with the sinful fogging of the glass. Your sin was all but written on the vehicle for everyone to see, and you had missed him so much that you could not even fathom any consequences that may come after. Your legs were shaking and you were covered in a thin layer of sweat. As you came down, he tapered his movements and withdrew once he knew he had drawn out the pleasure for as long as he could.

As you collected yourself, he undid the buckle of his belt and unzipped his jeans. “That was so fucking good, Sam.” You breathed, head still spinning with euphoria.

“Yeah?” He hummed, freeing himself from his boxers. You shifted backwards, giving him a little bit more room to work with. As you did, you bumped into the steering wheel and applied pressure to the horn. The loud honk startled you, causing you to jump in response. He let out a laugh at your mishap, finding the hiccup hilarious and perfectly fitting for the two of you.

“Are you laughing at me?” You huffed, feeling your heart still pounding against your chest.

“I’m laughing with you, Princess. There’s a difference.” He corrected, reaching out and wrapping his arm around your waist.

“Whatever,” you rolled your eyes, feeling your cheeks tinge red with embarrassment.

“Come here, honey.” He chuckled, drawing you closer to him. “You don’t ever have to be embarrassed around me. You know that.” He lined your hips up so the tip of his cock was resting against your entrance.

“I know,” you grumbled, already forgetting about the incident and only thinking of what was to come next. Without any further discussion, you lowered yourself down on him and silenced any conversation indefinitely. He let out a hiss of pleasure, the feeling taking him by surprise. A sigh of relief left your lips as you began to move, the sensation so familiar even though it had been years.

“Fuck you feel good,” he groaned, placing his hands on your hips to help you move. With every movement, he pulled you down on him even further, heightening the impact and increasing your pleasure. “I thought about you too, Princess. Every fucking night.” He admitted, moving one hand to the top of your dress to free your breasts from the fabric. “Wished that I could have you there with me so I could fuck you in every one of those fancy hotel rooms.” Your face flushed at the idea, the confession blunt, but it sent a whole different flood of arousal through you. Sam was otherworldly; no other boy in the world held a candle to him romantically or sexually. He was your whole world, the reason your heart continued to beat, and the very thing your soul searched for every minute of the day.

“I missed you so much.” You gasped, feeling the tip of his cock hit the sensitive spot he knew so well. His thumb brushed over your nipple, the soft tickle sending goosebumps across your skin. “I missed this so much.”

“Me too, Princess.” He leaned forward, capturing your nipple in his mouth. A gasp left your lips, your hips bucking against him as his tongue ran over the sensitive skin. His hand traveled to the back of your head, gathering your hair in his fist as he gently pulled your head backwards. His lips trailed upwards, his tongue gliding across your skin as he left marks to remind you of the reunion in days to come. He let his teeth sink into your collarbone, doing everything in his power to drive you over the edge. He was so deprived of you that he wished he could keep you there with him for the rest of time. He was terrified of losing you again, and some part of him believed that sex would keep you with him longer. There was no act he was unwilling to commit to keep you wrapped around him forever.

As he connected his lips with yours, your body ignited with an unfamiliar feeling. There was a fire burning within you, now, one that had long burnt out and could not be reignited by anyone other than him. All it took was one dinner and you were just as crazy for him as you were in high school. His love was a curse, a vile addiction that ravished your body with intent to leave nothing behind. He was evil, maybe not as a whole, but definitely to you. The things he made you feel were ungodly, and the ease that he had while doing so was heinous. You knew he was bad, but you couldn’t get away, and now, you didn’t even care to. His sin felt like bliss, and when with him, the euphoria was incomparable with anything else.

You were doing every single thing you swore to avoid, but it felt so good that you managed to convince yourself that this was what you wanted all along.

The two years worth of tears and agony meant nothing now that he was back in your arms. The hurt was obsolete, replaced with all of the love that was once shared between you. In that moment, you felt so good that you almost forgot every bad thing that ever happened. He was just a boy, and you were just a girl so hopelessly in love with him that you could not see him for what he truly was.

“Can you cum for me again, baby?” He asked, breaking the kiss for only a moment.

“Yeah,” you nodded, desperate for another release. You had not had an orgasm like that since the last time you were so sinfully intertwined with Sam, and you were selfishly in search of more. For once in the entire history of your relationship, you were moving with a selfish intent, and if he had to admit, it was intoxicating. To see you so crazed for pleasure and so determined to fulfill your needs was almost too much for him to handle. He was ready to come undone, and he was close to an orgasm before he even started fucking you. Pleasing you was the most pleasurable thing he’d ever done, and he would do it until the end of time if he knew it would make you happy.

“Come on, angel.” He pleaded, knowing that he could not hold on for much longer. You let out a whine, feeling the knot tighten even further. Your movements up until that point were steady, but now your hips were stuttering and your legs were shaking with the intensity of the impending climax. He reached his hand between your legs again, his fingers finding your clit in hopes of driving you over the edge. He knew you well enough to know that it would work, and within minutes, you were a mess. You could barely speak his name; your brain was rotten with impure thoughts about the man below you and what he was capable of. “That’s my girl,” he purred, moving your hips for you so you could get the most of your orgasm.

“Fuck, Sam.” You moaned, the possessive proclamation sending you into another wave of madness. As much as he enjoyed knowing that he was yours and that he was the only one who could treat you right, you were absolutely feral at the idea of being his. It felt like it was what you were put on earth for, and him, too. You were meant to be his, and he was meant to be yours, even if the world threw obstacles and challenges at you every other day. “I love you.”

The dreaded slip of words stole the air from his lungs and made his body weak.

Oh, how long he’d been waiting to hear you say it again.

He only had enough time to say it back before his orgasm came hard, sending him into the same state as you had been just seconds before. He pulled your hips down on him as he spilled his release into you, muttering curses mixed in with your name. The sound was heavenly, and you knew that there was no better one in the entire world. When you both relaxed from the excitement, he leaned back into the seat and pulled you into him. You let your forehead rest on his while hearts danced in both of your eyes. You let out a long sigh, your skin tingling with the ghost of pleasure and your body light without the stress of sexual tension in the air.

“I was hoping for it to be more romantic than this.” He admitted, letting his fingers trail over the soft skin on your thigh.

“So you were planning it?” You smirked, knowing that this had been his intent the whole time. Although you had denied it, you were secretly hoping for the same outcome.

“We’ve never been good at friends, Princess.” He reminded you, wishing he could live in the bubble of comfort for the rest of his life.

“No, we are good at being friends. We’re just not good at staying friends.” He let out a chuckle, leaning forward and pressing his lips to your own.

“You’re right. We’re not good at staying friends.” Neither of you were willing to bring up the proclamation of love, nor did you even want to. The moment was too sweet to ruin it with any talk of the future. The future always ruined the sweetness of your relationship; the uncertainty of where you would end up, whether that be someone moving away or another breakup, always seemed to dampen the mood. You did not want to think about what would happen next, because your fear was nearly paralyzing you. You wanted so badly for every moment to be this happy, but with your history, you knew it wasn’t possible.

He slowly withdrew from you, sliding your underwear back in place to contain the mess. With his help, you climbed back into your own seat. For a few moments, you both sat and stared out at the sky, unsure of what to do or say. Eventually, he slipped his hand into your own and gave it a gentle squeeze. The tightness in your chest lessened with his touch, but the fear did not dissipate.

“I should probably get home.” You whispered, your eyes fixated on the dark tree line.

“Sure, Princess.” He said, his eyes flickering towards you. He knew that vacant stare, and he knew the withdrawal all too well. He was afraid he did the exact opposite of what he intended and pushed you away for good, and he was too afraid to ask. He did not know if he would be able to handle the answer. Hesitantly, he pulled back out into the main road and began the journey to take you home.

You watched as the city passed you by, dread settled deep in your stomach the closer you got to your house. As gratifying as the sex was, you knew now in your new-found state of clarity that it was a mistake that was nearly fatal. You were so adamant about not letting Sam back in your life for a reason, and you were angry with yourself for overlooking it in exchange for momentary pleasure. You looked over at his face, pained at the sight of his beauty. He was the most beautiful thing you had ever seen, yet it was haunting, and incredibly dangerous. Loving him was easier than falling asleep, and knowing that he held so much power over you was terrifying. You wanted to believe that he would never use it against you, but history has a terrible tendency to repeat itself, especially when it came to your own.

The truth was harrowing, and it was deeply unsettling; You loved Sam so deeply, but it had always been at a cost that you could never afford. You loved Sam, but this time, you weren’t sure if you were as willing to risk your life for it as much as you were the last.

TAGLIST: @itsafullmoon @freefallthoughts @lightsofthe-living-gvf @heckingfrick @sagekiszka @clairesjointshurt @thetroublegetssoloud71 @torniturntomyarrow @dannythedog @jordie-gvf

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starillusion13 · 10 months

Text

My Muse

Pairing: Hongjoong x f!reader

Genre: Friends to lovers, fluff, College Au

Warnings: orphan (nothing else).

W.C: 3k

Note: Thanks to the people loving my works and supporting them. I love to read your reviews in my dms so feel free to dm me. Thanks for joining the event.

Network: @cultofdionysusnet @k-vanity

Request from @lunehong

Taglist: @mymoodwriting @justhere4kpop @vvshere

💟

*under the cut*

The university classes are meant to be fun and boring consecutively. Well, how you are experiencing them is depending on the memories you are building for you to remember. The morning classes are always being cursed by you and your friends because of your lazy asses not wanting to leave the bed. The afternoon classes are always tiring to you as you keep telling your friends every five seconds that how hungry you are and might die of this pathetic hunger. The over-dramatic self of yours.

Aside from all these usual aspects of life. There is something else tingling in your life or maybe a someone. University campus is really a vast area with different faces, some you remember and some you don’t. There is one face which always catch your eye is the campus heartthrob, KIM HONGJOONG.

He is the topper of your university and also well known for his charming and intelligence in many other fields like his designs are showcased in fashion department, he has his own composing team for the art and music department and so on. He is the icon for an all-rounder student of this national university. Apparently for being so talented, he is known as the perfect walking man who has come out of every girl’s dream. A perfect man with a pointy nose, flawless attractive features with black brown mullets walks around the campus just like every girl’s dream man has come to reality. Well, you also belong to these girls but maybe a bit more than them.

He is your best-friend.

“Hey! Y/N.” Your cause of suffering has finally arrived while you were just trying to pass through the crowds for next class and avoiding every chance to meet him.

You halted in your path to turn around and face him. You give your brightest smile to him just to get an excited and bright look from him. Those smiling eyes and that smile is the reason for your suffering. He is your best friend since high school and you both were inseparable since then even some people have claimed sometimes you to be a couple which you both waved off by laughing loudly at them or showing them your true friendship and annoying friends both of you can be when together.

This was all fine until the incident happened in the mall last year. You were supposed to go on a date with your boyfriend that day but later that evening you found out the ugliest truth about him cheating on you so you called your first go-to escape, your best-friend Hongjoong to cry your heart out. He without wasting any second time, arrived to your house when he stayed with you whole night just to comfort you and hear about your rantings on everything possible. Next day, he insulted your ex and exposed him in front of the whole campus and that’s when your perspective towards him changed. The friendship between you both started to have some tension of falling it apart. Well, this is only from your side because he still sees you as his best partner for every situation to go through and a perfect best friend.

“Hi, Joong. What are you doing here in this sector of the building now? You probably have the music production meeting with the professors.”

“Ah yes, I still have and will go after meeting you. I came here to ask you whether you are free today after classes or not.”

Hongjoong asking you whether you are free after classes? Oh! He is your best friend so you should not think so afar. It’s just regarding your upcoming exams. Right? He just wants to take all the due notes on the classes he had missed.

“I don’t think anything important is there rather than going home to eat and take a nap.” You both laughed at your reply.

Hongjoong seems to scan his surrounding as if to catch any intruder who is trying to interfere in your little moments. He turned his attention back to you.

“So do you want to hang out with me later in the nearby market or to any place you like. We don’t get much time for us and it’s been so long we have shared our life updates with each other. I miss you.” He tried to give you his puppy eyes and pouty look which you found so cringey that you hit his arm laughing. Other girls would have got heart attacks if he ever done this to them.

“Stop it joong. This does not suite you. You are the dreamy boy of every girl in this campus so you need to maintain your high profile and an attractive image.”

No Joong, please don’t change. I always want you the way you have ever treated me, the way you have only showed me your particular phases that no one has ever seen and will get to see. You can call me selfish but I want all these just for myself and to let you know that Joong I am different from every girl. I am your girl. Maybe just as a best friend at least.

Hongjoong stared at you with an amused glint in his eyes as if he is seeing a comedic scene unfolding in front of him. He always finds your ramblings cute and especially when you are a bit annoyed with something and complaining.

“So, are you not one of those girls as well?” His question caught you off guard for a second but then you played it cool. He is smirking in the wait of your reply.

“Of course not.”

“Why? Don’t you find me cool like they see me?”

“No. You are just my annoying friend who always teases me whenever a boy tries to approach me and then you scare the shit out of that boy.” You looked up a little because of the height proximity to show your glare at him.

He again laughed on your act. “They are not good for you.” His expression suddenly shifted from goofy to dark. His jaw look so tensed and bright eyes are now dark.

“Yeah sure as if you are good for me.” You whispered it so that he cant hear you. You just smiled tightly at him “Thanks for caring but I have to go now and I will then see you in the evening.” You waved at him and with quick steps you went to your class.

“You really can’t see it Y/N right?” Hongjoong chuckled sadly and looked up at the sky.

A blue bird was searching for a shelter moreover a home to protect herself from the upcoming storm.

“Everyone has a home to shelter themselves but I have a shelter but not a home.” He left the scene with a single tear rolling down his eyes.

“Hey Joong, so are we going now?” You are so excited to finally spend some time with your best friend after so long.

“Yes, we are going to your favourite park. Remember the one where we first met? I have got some snacks with me so that we won’t be feeling hungry.”

“Omo how thoughtful you are.” You faked gasped and put your hands on your chest just above your heart. You can feel how fast your heartbeat is even when you are trying to act normal as best friends in front of him.

“So, lets sit by the side of fence, the view will be nice during the sunset and you can click pictures of it to save it for later.” Spring sunsets are always so beautiful and you both like it so much that no matter wherever you are, both of you take your time to cherish it.

Settling down by the side of the fence, both of you are sitting on a outdoor mat with your belongings kept aside and you facing towards the river to take in the beautiful view of the park as its your favorite meanwhile Hongjoong had a quick call with a professor.

“I miss spending time with you here. I still remember how we both met here when one evening your mother was late to pick you up and you were sitting on the bench with a scared face.” You averted your gaze towards the more beautiful view, towards Hongjoong. The boy is smiling at you with his sparky eyes and how bad you want to hug him right now. He is looking perfect under the warm essence of dusk and in the surrounding of spring season.

“Me too….” You replied still mesmerized by his presence beautifully so close to you.

“What happened? Are you thinking something? Are you hungry?” Hongjoong asked you in a very concerned way in which you simply smiled his way.

“It’s okay Joong, I’m okay.”

“Y/N?” his professional deep voice which he only uses when to confront with your exes or meeting anytime for the first time. He never uses that voice to you but maybe you were wrong.

“Hm?”

“You are bothered by something and I can clearly see the effect on your face.” On his remark , you cupped your face with both of your hands and close your eyes tightly to face him with an excuse other than explaining how you feel different meeting him alone now when you see him more than just best friends.

“No Joong, you are just overthinking. It’s nothing like that.”

“Come here.” He is now sitting facing the river with legs resting straight and leaning his upper body on his two arms on both the sides. His face with no expression asking to move towards him. You are sitting with your legs crossed with a towel spread on your legs and eating your favorite snack.

You didn’t understand why is he calling you towards him so you waited for him to say anything further. He extended one of his arms towards you which you gladly accepted with your own. Suddenly he pulled you towards him and make you sit on his thighs. You attempted to complain for his actions because he always does something like this out of his childish acts with you but you find it difficult for you to control your feelings for him in this situation.

You mentally scolded yourself to feel his actions like differently but this was all normal for both of you since childhood. Your questioning look asking him to speak why is he pulling you like this and waiting for him to clarify your thoughts.

“Now tell me Y/N, what is bothering you?”

‘You Hongjoong! What do you think? You are thinking you are helping me in this situation? You are making it more difficult for me.’

You pushed him and run towards the fence and hold them tightly to calm your heart with your eyes closed. It was always so nice meeting him before and spending time with him and ranting about each other’s life but the conditions are no more similar.

You felt someone hugging you from behind and resting his chin on your right shoulder when suddenly he spoke breathily.

“Why are you so easy to read Y/N?” His smiling lips hovering near your neck, this feels make you feel so safe in his embrace.

“What are you saying?” you nearly whispered but still audible for him to hear clearly for so close proximity.

He made you face him by turning your body. Your body resting on the waist level fences and his leaning forward when he put his arms on top of your hands on both of your sides holding the fence.

You looked up into his eyes to understand what does he mean by reading you easily.

“Why don’t you say it directly to me? How long do I need to wait for it?”

“Huh?”

“Why are you pretending not to understand?”

“I- “

“Do you like me?” His expression explains everything that he is not joking at all even he wants a valid reply from you that moment.

“I don’t know…….” You are avoiding his gaze when deep down you know how much you are lying in the moment when you want to hug him tightly and scream how you don’t want to lose him to someone else and make him yours.

“If you can’t say it then let me tell you Y/N, I like you. No wait I love you.” His right hand lifted up to your face to cup the side of your face.

He continues, “You are the reason for my life. I asked you out today not just because I haven’t met you for so long but to finally let out my feelings to you. I don’t know when I started having these feelings for you but I am happy that they are not atleast late.”

“Hongjoong, I have to-“

“Let me say mine first then I will let you to say all your parts.” Maybe he is your bestfriend but he always has this demanding aura whenever he is serious.

“I don’t like when you tell me that boys are trying to hit on you and whenever anyone approaches you with a proposal. I don’t want you to be someone else’s girl. You are my girl. You are my muse. All these designs and songs you see around and the recognition I got from them are inspired from you. It’s all because of you. I never had anyone to call mine as I have been raised in an orphanage till middle school and the family adopted was always too busy to spend time with me and that’s why I always play alone in that park when one day I met you.”

“Don’t you feel afraid of heartbreak if I reject your feelings for me?” You confidently ask him.

“No.”

“No?”

“I know your reply and I wanted you to feel the same for me and that’s why I waited so long just to realize that our feelings are mutual.” He is smiling at you happily which is hurting you more as you still haven’t said about your feelings for him.

“How?”

“Your act of ignoring me when am around. You avoiding eye contact whenever you are telling something private convos. Your jealousy visible on your face and in your actions when girls literally drool over me. Its so simple to read you and trust me I loved it. I enjoyed your possessiveness over me and I want that to feel when we are together not as bestfriends but as lovers.”

“I know….. I have to say you that I like you more you know. You don’t know how much it hurt to see with your classmate roaming around the building and people gossiping you both as a perfect couple when here am left back with feelings for you which I cant even tell you.”

“We are just working on same project you know nothing more.”

“Yes I know but people make up so much stories at some point they hurt you know. I tried to convince myself that I should not feel like that for my bestfriend but I failed miserably each time and fell for you harder.”

Hongjoong hugged you and caressed your back of the head. “Thanks for not giving up on your feelings and that’s why I got the chance to express myself to you.”

“I like you Hongjoong.”

“Oh that’s it?”

“Huh?”

“I love you because you are the poetry to my arts, you are the muse of my life to inspire me to proceed with life in a right way and always being my home but….”

“But?”

“You just like me?.....” He mimicked a sad hurtful expression and you realized what he is referring to.

“Joong! You are playing with me again. Okay listen I love you. Happy?”

“No.”

“Now what?”

“Kiss me.”

“…..Joong”

He gives you a small peck on the lips. “I have to seal the bond when I got the opportunity.”

You hit him on the chest and went towards your belongings on the ground to pack them for you and him. He watches you intently standing there.

“Wont you help me?” you asked him.

“With what?” An amused glint in his eyes and a mischievous smile dancing on his lips.

“Hongjoong!”

"Y/N!"

He laughed and proceeded to wrap up everything.

“Y/N? What are we now?” You both have your backpacks on and standing facing each other.

“Bestfriends?”

“But bestfriends don’t kiss.” You become shy when you realised few minutes back Hongjoong kissed you. He comes closer to you and pecks your lips again and then kissing your forehead, he holds you gaze when his hands cupped your face.

“um I am your muse so you are my artist then are we contracted partners?” You joked a bit to calm down your heartbeat. He laughed along with you because the way you were embarrassed with your own joke.

“You are my girl and I’m yours.”

“Mine.” You smiled at him heartily because finally you know you don’t have to lose him to someone else and now, he is completely yours.

Your bestfriend and also your man. Oh maybe your artist, come on you are his muse.

You hugged him tightly which he happily returned you with keeping you in his embrace. Under the thousands of blinking stars in the night sky, there is a beginning of a new love story.

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