#the way they bob their bodies is hilarious to me

[lonelystarrs]

𝑫𝒐𝒏’𝒕 𝑻𝒐𝒖𝒄𝒉.

𝗧𝗼𝗷𝗶 𝗭𝗲𝗻’i𝗻 𝘅 𝗙𝗲𝗺𝗥𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿

His gambling and betting habits often got himself into situations he’d rather not be in, it’s what landed him here at this stupid Halloween party with his utter goof of a girlfriend, but there were plans hiding under that ridiculous outfit.

Warnings: 18+ MDNI + smut + crack + size kink + ghostface! Toji + whip use + switch reader + mean Toji + public sex +

4.7k smut fic • I am unwell • enjoy my terrible humour. Kinktober

Part Two: Maid Zen’in

You thought you were real fucking funny didn’t you? Turning up in that ridiculous outfit.

Gojo was already cackling and elbowing Toji in the side.

“It’s hilarious, you sure got a keeper huh Zen’in?”

Toji rolled his eyes, thick shoulders hunching more and biceps bulging from his arms crossed. His ghostface mask sitting on the side of his head so he could literally drink his way out of this.

“Gotta admit, I still would.”

“Yeah? Feel free.” Toji sneered, trying so hard not to watch you but it was hard not to, you were busting out moves on the dance floor and because of the air filled suit, the moves were impossible to actually see them.

No matter where he looked, he could see the air filled horn bobbing around above the heads of others in the crowd of people at the club, the laser lights illuminating to the music as you danced with no care in the world amongst a group of people.

You said you were coming as a murderous unicorn, which was ridiculous enough, but what you were wearing was anything but fucking murderous, maybe to Toji’s ego and pride. The mane was rainbow, the white blow up body suit you had on filled with air and a pair of heels.

Fucking designer, red bottom strappy heels, in that costume.

“Yo, Zenin, isn’t that your girl?”

“No.” Toji denied it many times this evening, even though those asking knew otherwise.

Gojo cackled again, elbowing Suguru who joined the conversation as he watched you moving on the dance floor having far too much fun for your own good, the air filled suit making you move in a way that was fucking hilarious to the six eyes.

Toji knew why you were doing it, because you’d gotten into a argument this morning and he’d made a snide remark about something he didn’t even remember quite frankly, either way you’d fallen out and had been giving him the cold shoulder all day. Even meeting him here instead of coming with him.

Now though he was glad for the distance, soon as he seen you he couldn’t help but think thank fuck he walked into this club alone. He just had to bear witness to you flirting with the bouncers as they bantered with you about your outfit.

He wore a black tight muscle shirt, with black jeans, a holster on his chest with two big hunting knives either side and a ghost mask.

He looked like a threat, like something suitable for Halloween, you just looked like a girl living her princess dream prancing around like a pony. It was your whole idea coming to this thing in the first place and the only reason he was going was because he lost a bet with you, his damn gambling habit presenting her karma for him finding any opportunity to bet irresistible.

“Eh, she is sure giving it beans with those dance moves.” Satoru couldn’t help himself, his eyes were twinkling with amusement, he couldn’t stop watching you.

“I’m surprised you came, Toji, not usually your kind of thing.” Suguru at least was less bothersome on the topic.

“Oh look she’s on her way over!”

It was embarrassing watching you waddle through the crowds, beaming a smile that was only making his jaw clench and when you eyed him, giving him a flirty look of acknowledgment before changing your pace to a flirty strut, Toji nearly walked away.

“Hey handsome, do you wanna feed the pony?”

Gojo Satoru lost it beside you, bellowing a laugh at your over the top flirtation and even Suguru started to laugh.

“-cause you make me so hooooorny T.”

Your hands lifted to flick the bobbling horn on your head and Toji grabbed his mask pulling it back over his face before storming off to the bar again. Leaving Gojo to strut up to you and smack a hand on your shoulder in some kind of praise, perhaps he should just let you both date.

Perfectly suited for each other and the six eyes did have a thing for you, the sulking for two weeks after Toji first claimed you as his girl was enough of a clue. Let alone the remarks Satoru made towards you, his eyeballing and offering to date you instead of Toji.

But you’d always refused.

And he was kinda glad, as odd as it could be at times you did bring some fun to Toji’s life, a perfectly grown women when needed but that side of you that had zero ability to be embarrassed was troublesome, but at times entertaining. He could banter with you in a way he couldn’t with females usually and you only dished it back.

But the sex, fuckkkk the sex. You were insatiable and you’d even made his eyes almost cross a few times, how you sucked his cock was unworldly and lucky for him you couldn’t get enough of doing it.

Toji took a seat at the bar, ordering a strong whiskey to try give him some hope on getting through this evening with some sanity, how long he was sat there he didn’t know, but being alone only gave the opportunity for girls to come up to him.

So you wanted to play huh?

He could play, perhaps make you regret trying to show him up like that.

He entertained it, a girl in an angle costume coming up, her tits out held by some flimsy looking material that Toji could so easily rip from her, some skimpy white skirt that was hiding nothing, white stockings on show and pretty blonde hair.

She wasn’t exactly horrifying, but this was what girls went for this time of year, not like he was complaining -he was a guy after all.

She twirled her finger around a strand of hair, battering her eye lashes at him.

“You’re like, the hottest guy I’ve ever seen.”

“Oh yeah?” Toji smirked, turning in his seat to face her, giving her the once over, “—how so?”

Toji played it clever, soaking up the praise instead of giving it just because if you were looking you’d be none the wiser. As much of a woman jumper as he used to be Toji was loyal when treated well, and treated well by you he certainly was.

The blonde reached out to trace a finger on his muscles, dragging an acrylic nail down the line between his bicep.

“You’re huge-“

“So I’ve been told,”

“Anything else big about you?”

Toji chuckled tilting his head to her when she bravely gripped his arm and squeezing the bicep, just as he was about to say that’s enough a riding crop slammed down between them, hitting the bar with enough force everyone sat there spun around.

“Hey angel face, he flexing his muscles for you hmm? He’s such a show off, thought I trained him better than that.”

Toji knew that tone, the kind that made him lay back let you ride him until you were spent, the kind that kinda made him melt a little inside for you —not like you’d ever, in a million fucking years, know that.

Green eyes turned to meet you, expecting to see you in that ridiculous blow up unicorn suit, instead it was gone and suddenly he was wondering where the hell it was so he could put it back on you to stop the amount of looks you were getting.

Stood there with the lights dancing around you in leather chaps with studs, a leather bra with a body harnesses a fucking pink gag horse bit dangling down your neck resting between your collar bones and bright red lipstick, hair into a clean, high ponytail with a crop in hand.

And he knew his dick was gonna be under those red bottomed heels this evening.

You had a black, glittery horn on your head that had red glitter spilling down it that imitated blood, along with make up running down your forehead in red glitter.

This was your damn take on a murderous unicorn?

The blonde went to open her mouth, but you beat her to it, pressing the crop under her chin and closing it for her.

“Shh, this guy-“ you stepped forward and Toji reached for you, standing behind you as he pulled you in, a large hand made its way around your neck to grip it from behind “-he doesn’t fuck angels, he’s too corrupt for that.”

The smirk that spread over his face was nasty, tilting your head back into his chest and pressing his lips to yours, going straight for your bottom lip with his teeth and pulling.

He felt you moan against his tongue as it swiped your bottom lip between his teeth.

“Playin’ a dangerous game comin’ out like this doll,”

“Yeah?”

Toji hummed whilst kissing you upside down again,

“Yeah, s’get outta here-“

“Or-“ you span around in his arms, leaned up to him and brushed your lips against his, “-we can use the private room back there for VIP.”

Toji rose an eyebrow at you, you only grinning at him and grabbing his hand to lead the way through the groups of people until you both reached a gold door, the bouncer there nodded at you and Toji rose an eyebrow.

Since when did you know people on that level to only be acknowledged through nodding?

Your back hit the door the moment it shut and Toji was on you within seconds, hand gripping your neck and squeezes it in the way he knew made your cunt clench, choking you lightly whilst tilting your head up to him feeling your little moan on his palm against your throat.

“What you got goin’ on in that head of yours sweetheart? I ain’t stupid.”

You shrugged, “-nothing really, but I am wondering if you wanna make a lil bet again.”

Toji rose an eyebrow, leaning back slightly to look around the room, it wasn’t huge, the seats were black trimmed with gold in a booth shape with a small table off to the side.

“Keep talkin’”

“I’m thinking, you let me take control and if you lose it I win.”

Toji snorted a laugh, “-you won’t even get my cock in that tight lil cunt without my help doll, you think you’re gonna manage with me just sitting back?”

“If I need your help, then I lose.”

He released you and stepped back until he let himself slump back onto the booth, spreading his legs and his arms across the top of the booth, one hand reaching down to unbuckle his belt and undo the button to his jeans, pulling the zipper down. His skin tight top riding up showing the lines of his V that lead to a cock too big for most girls to handle. The black pubic trail of hair also leading a line down into his boxers.

“C’mon then sweetheart, it’s all yours.”

He was snide, cocky with how he was sat spread out and you smirked at him stepping forwards, pressing the crop under his chin and tilting it up to you looking down on him, his green eyes glazed with sly intention, his smirk only aiding it.

“You’re not allowed to touch me, clear?”

Toji rolled his eyes and shrugged “-whatever you say, boss. You’ll be begin’ for me too long before I need to.”

Toji’s eyes widened when you actually smacked the crop across his face, anger filtered through him briefly at you having the fucking balls to even think you’d get away with it, but when he looked back at you, eyes half hooded with some kind of pissed off look he only felt his cock throb. The leather you wore was glistening in the low lights, hugging every curve and pressing your tits up perfectly.

“Less snark, Zen’in, it’s boring me.”

Holy shit —fuck you were still surprising him 2 years into this damn relationship, how the hell had you hidden this from him? You had attitude, that was never hidden and fucking it outta you was borderline impossible, but it didn’t mean keeping you fucked dumb didn’t work until you got bratty again.

He glared at you, hands balling into fists and his jaw clenched, the red welt forming on his cheek as he held eyes with you.

“Don’t push it,”

“I plan to, Toji, or do you feel yourself losing patience already? Might be an easy win for me after all.”

You litt-

Toji groaned, his stomach tensing as the ball of your foot pressed into his semi hard dick only encourage it to harden under it, his hips rolled and his head tilted back, keeping eyes with you as you watched his reaction.

“Been thinking about sucking you off all night, my mouths watering over it T.”

“As said doll, it’s all yours.”

You hummed and stepped forward, pulling his jeans down just enough to free his dick as it slapped against his stomach, pre drooling from the tip into the deep lines of his six pack.

“You’re drooling already, Toji.”

He watched as you lowered yourself between his legs, bending forward to run your tongue between the lines of his six pack collecting pre on your tongue, teasingly running it around the head of his dick not touching it directly, only grazing the tip with the underside of your tongue. Your eyes never leaving his as your placed your hands on his thighs.

“That’s it-“ Toji sucked in air, his muscles tensing under your tongue as he watched you, eyes focused on your tongue glistening with drool and pre.

You pressed a kiss to the underside of his head, peppering them down the length of him before your tongue pressed to the base and ran up to the tip again, letting a glob of spit drip to cover it. His cock flexed against his stomach, smearing the spit along his skin as it rested heavy on his stomach.

His eyes rolled back when you finally wrapped your lips around him, hollowing your cheeks and sucking before bobbing your head with your hand twisting, keeping to the top of his dick and moving your tongue around the head. His hips bucked, fingers digging into the booths padding to stop himself reaching out, cause all he wanted was to grip your hair and fuck your face like a fleshlight. See how watery your eyes got, watch the drool spilling down your chin, see how well your throat bulged out from his dick, pressing his hand against your throat to feel himself fucking you.

But he was a man of strong will, even if his toes were curling in his shoes as you worked his cock like a dream, the squelching of your mouth as spit started to dribble down his dick. You kept going in the same pattern, twisting your hand when it separated from your mouth bobbing and sucking him in, your tongue swirling around this head giving him constant friction.

“Gonna suck the cum outta me? Fuck -hah- shit doll, that your fucking plan?”

He felt you laugh on him, pulling away with a pop and drool down your cheeks, red lip stick smeared on your lips and his dick.

Your eyes all glassy and panting lightly looking at him with fuck me eyes and his heart thumped against his rib cage, kicking away in a flutter that only pissed him off. He knew he liked you, way too fucking much for his own sanity and it pissed him off that you got under his skin in a way he couldn’t get enough of.

But how you looked right now? Between his thick thighs, running your tongue up and down his big cock that looked so huge in your hands, staring at him with eyes like that, willingly making a mess of yourself on him?

Fuck it took everything in him to not reach out and kiss you stupid, to bury his cock into you and let you cum over and over on him in a love language only he could give.

You didn’t reply, instead you stood and placed your feet on the booth seat either side of him, then lifting your right to place beside his head, hovering your cunt over him as you ran two fingers over your clothed pussy.

“No Toji, that’s not my plan.”

He groaned when you pushed the material aside, letting him view your glistening cunt as it drooled with slick. He was half expecting you to let him touch you at this point, his cock flexing against his stomach as his own pre started to leak into his muscle lines again. Watching as one hand spread yourself open for him, the other rolling around your clit.

It was cruel how you moaned above him, it was mean as you pressed two fingers into your tight hole letting him watch you spread yourself open for him.

“You’re clenching around those fingers, they ain’t deep enough are they sweetheart? Trying to act like a little whore but you can’t fuck yourself like that, y’need me, so why don’t you just give in?”

Toji reached for his own cock, wrapping a fist around himself slowly stroking.

“-sit on my face, get that other leg up and put that pussy where it it belongs hmm? I’ll get you cummin’ how you like.”

Pulling your fingers back covered in slick you toyed with your clit again, hips rolling as you lowered yourself to his face.

“S’it baby, she needs my mouth hmm? I know what she needs-“

“M’gonna cum-“ Toji hid his sneer as he watched you pick up your pace, rolling your clit around your slick covered fingers and he could see your little hole clenching around nothing, fluttering as you came.

His nice attitude left him, sneering an insult under his breath as you cummed over his face, thinking he almost had you breaking the bet by caving first.

“Open your mouth T, I’ll let you catch it,”

Green eyes focused on the clear slick starting to drool from your fluttering hole, a link forming and he held his tongue out, letting the sweetness of you coat it.

“You’re so fucking hot, honestly.” Toji hummed at your praise and taste of you, your foot retreated from besides his head, falling to your knees either side of him, eyes all glassy and pretty, pink dusting across your cheeks.

Your hand reached down to grab his dick from his own hands, wrapping a hand around him and rubbing his head at your hole.

“You’re brave but you ain’t doin’ that without me. No fucking chance.”

You hummed and let your weight start to drop onto him, the stretch already too much as his thick head pushed through the tight ring of muscle, both moaning at the feel of it, your warmth starting to swallow him in.

He gave an airy chuckle when he seen you panting, struggling to take him when you got half way.

“What’s wrong brat? Thought you had this, you look like you’re struggling to me.”

You glared at him, reaching up and turning the ghost face mask on the side of his head to cover him completely.

“Shut up you asshole,”

His patience was dancing on thin ice, the need to thrust into you and bury you to hilt, to bully the rest of his thick cock into you was making his nerves jump. As much as he tried to ignore the need to grip your hips and slam into you, to fuck you until you seen stars and begged him to stop was overwhelming.

However when you slammed yourself down onto him, his head tilted back.

“Ah fuck- you little brat-“

Your hands gripped his shoulders and you spread your knees further from him, already feeling so full. You looked up only to see him tilting his head back, his breathing picking up and his hips stuttering under you fighting the instinct to move.

You couldn’t see his face, covered by the ghost face mask and it only made it hotter. Your hands gripped the material either side of it and tilted him to look at you.

When you started to bounce on him, your walls tightened around him still trying to adjust, his eyes rolled back under the mask only opening again to see you above him looking fucked out.

“Shit, sweetheart y-you’re, fuck me, shit, y’fucking yourself dumb on this fat dick?”

You nodded dumbly at him giving him a panty ‘uh-huh’ as you sank yourself down on him again.

“Harder, if you’re gonna fuck this dick do it harder, I wanna see you strugglin’ on it.”

His hands were flexing on the booth, he started to fidget under you as you kept a pace that was no where close to getting you both to cum, he wasn’t a fool, he ever was a stupid man…

He knew you were doing it to break him first and when that thought crept into his head about giving in, he couldn’t ignore it.

You felt wet, you sounded soaking and he could feel your slick drooling down past his balls. Fucking him with this mask on like he was some toy for you was in fucking credible.

To top it all off you had the balls to smack him with that whip, the boss him around which no one done, and you were both in public.

He wanted your mouth, fuck he wanted your tongue down his throat as you whimpered into him.

He was never one who bothered about consequences, never one to care about repercussions.

“You never told me -hah- you never said what the loser has to do.”

“Maid outfit-“ you painted out, “-fucking you in this mask is so hot, fuck your dick is made f’me T.”

“Maid outfit? Loser wears one?”

You nodded dumbly and he chuckled, that’s it?

“That’s it? Fuck this-“

Toji reached up, tearing the mask off and throwing it across the booth, his large hands reaching down to grab your ass painfully.

“You ain’t walkin’ outta here pretty girl, I ain’t carrying you either-“ your eyes widened as he pulled from you , his tip just stretching you out as a wild smirk blew across his face, his eyes almost dots as he looked at you like he was about to kill you “-you little brat, I’m gonna watch you struggle then I’m gonna fuck you even harder when we get home.”

He seen your face fall, the regret perhaps dancing across your eyes and he soaked it up knowing it would fade by tomorrow. Knowing you’d be your cocky self all over again.

And he couldn’t wait.

His pace was brutal, hips slapping up into you with such force your skin was starting to sting, the leather of your outside screeching with each movement.

“Kiss, now-“ his demand was through panting, his breathing heavy as he worked his body to bully his cock inside of you, you gave him wanted he wanted as your whimpers and moans vibrated against his tongue. He swallowed each noise, his hands bruising on your ass cheeks as he held onto them for life.

Then you made a noise he’d never heard, almost a sob that mixed with a moan.

“Atta girl, keep making that noise-“ your arms wrapped around his neck, burying your face into it as your body stuttered and he knew he hit the place he was looking for, “-there it is, gonna cum for me you little slut? Can feel her squeezing me, she’s so tight”

He moaned into your ear, teeth biting at it as he coaxed you into coming with harsh words.

“M’cumming, holy shit Toji-Toji slow down, fuck m’gonna cum!”

“Do it then, I want her sucking the cum outta me, gonna have it drooling down your legs when we get outta here, whole clubs gonna see you’re a slut.”

The moan you gave was pained, frustrated as you danced on the edge of cumming, that coil so tight in your stomach, feeling like you were gonna snap but it wasn’t happening.

“Fuck!” You growled out in frustration into his neck, shifting yourself against him and he chuckled.

“She’s as stubborn as you huh?” He wrapped an arm around you, turning you so your back landed on the booth seat and his other hand grabbed the mask he flung off, pulling it back over his head as he towered over you.

“Look at you, tiny, pathetic little thing- look so dumb all cock drunk,” he rotated his cock inside you, hips moving in a circle as he looked down on you in the ghost mask.

Your hands reaching up to grip his biceps that bulged from holding his weight above you and he looked huge, made you feel like nothing under him. The low light of the room almost blocked out by his shoulders.

He started to rut into you, pressing a thumb to your clit and rolling rough circles around it. A strangled noise leaving you as your hips bucked up, tears welling in your eyes as your body started to shake under him.

“It’s too much, T-Toji it’s too much.”

“Yeah? Deal with it, I’m gonna cum soon and I don’t give a shit if you don’t,”

The panic on your face was enough to make him smirk under the mask, rolling his thumb around your clit harshly knowing it would be too much to actually make you cum.

“I want to,” your head rolled back and tears finally fell from your eyes in frustration, fucked beyond the point of cumming for him as you felt that knot slipping away left with raw, frustrating over stimulation from his rough handling.

“Then cum like a slut, you know how to do it.”

He moved his thumb, slowing his pace to harder thrusts that made your body jolt, tits bounce with each delayed, wet plap, plap, plap of his dick bullying into you.

When your eyes glazed over, your body relaxed under him he knew he had you were he wanted, Toji dropped to his elbows, leaning down to your ear as his hips worked to keep you both going.

“Baby-“ he cooed into you, voice slightly muffled under the mask, “-you feel good, pussy made f’me yeah?”

He felt you nod dumbly, your moans jolted by his hips.

“And dicks made for ya, sweetheart, she’s sucking me in so well.”

He knew he was contradicting himself making a fucking idiot out of his previous taunting that he’d cum without you, but seeing you actually frustrated, tears spilling down and you struggled made the little empathy he had in life flicker.

He kept his short punches, his lower stomach rubbing against your clit and keeping his cock punching that spot inside you until you cried out, suddenly cumming around him violently. Clinging onto him for dear life and sobbing after, pushing his mask off again so you could look at him.

“Damn girl, you’re -“ he groaned at your face, absolutely ruined from his rough treatment, your lipstick smeared, eyeliner smudged with drool and tears.

Your walls fluttering around him brought him with you, curling himself over you until he folded you up, burying himself balls deep as he emptied into you, stuttering, airy curses leaving him as he convulsed against you, hips jolting as your walls pressed around him swimming his dick in cum.

You were slack under him and his energy spent as he almost fell into you, burying his face into your neck as your panting filled the room.

Bodies aching as you pulled apart, Toji sitting back on the booth and leaning his head back, chest still heaving to bring air into his lungs.

He side glanced at you, looking at your pretty face before moving down to your swollen hole leaking cum from it. Toji reached out and patted your public bone.

“She takes me like a champ-“

You deadpanned, before sitting up onto your elbows still recovering with a breathy voice.

“She doesn’t have a choice, you monster.”

Your foot playfully pushed him and he grabbed it, bringing it up to his head so he could kiss the inside of your ankle.

“Seem to be dealin’ with it just fine,”

“So, you liked the unicorn thing?”

“No. Don’t ever do it again, I’ll leave your ass and Gojo can have you.”

“Really? Cause I was thinking of a new theme song, it’s a twist on the original-“

“Don’t sing it,”

“My lil pony, you wanna bone me~?“

©pharix/lonelystarrs 2023 permission is not given to repost, translate or post anywhere else.

If you want Toji in the maid outfit here’s the link to the next part : Maid Zen’in

#jjk fanfic #jjk x you #jjk smut #toji smut #toji x reader #toji fushiguro smut #toji fushiguro x reader #toji x you #kinktober jjk #kinktober toji #jjk fluff #jjk crack #jjk fanfiction #jjk toji #dilf toji #toji fushiguro fluff #jjk fushiguro #fushiguro toji #toji zenin #Zen’in toji

[crayons-and-glitter-glue]

I think about Sun and Moon's original versions a LOT, and I don't get why people say they're not expressive!

Or perhaps, I do, and I just wanna ramble. Anyways! Big ol warning for lots of talking, some fursuit gifs and analyzation of body movement.

So, they have flat, immobile faceplates, right? Technically, yes!some argue that this makes them immediately inert and expressionless and opt to enhance their expressions. And this is a-okay! Do what you like!

But as someone who used to be a costumer, and wears a fursuit on occasion,

(Sorry, I love this gif so much)

BUT! When in a mascot costume, fursuit, or any other costume with a mask over one's face, the performer has to learn how to move in order to portray the emotions necessary for character engagement with the audience! Whether it's exaggerated head bobs, using your hands to talk, or making everything a bit of a spectacle, even the way you tilt your FACE can affect how you look.

Even MUPPETS do this with their limited range of expression. And we can easily draw those conclusions of how the boys were programmed to act in canon!

Take Sun's default animation in the daycare, just standing there.

It's very obvious here what he's trying to portray, and who his programmed audience is- little children! When costuming around little kids, you wanna use big gestures, and get on their level because you can seem HUGE AND SCARY to them! You wanna get down towards the ground, make big sweeping cartoon motions, and make sure all your movements are ROUNDED- not jabbing, sharp, or sudden- so that the kid isn't ever surprised, but rather delighted by your performance as a costumer. I'll show you an example by the amazing performer, Temba the Bat! (Made by Toxicoon, I believe.)

Big sweeping motions, slow without being too spooky, and generally friendly motions while swaying the head! Looks kinda similar right?

Another point is, though, these exaggerated motions don't really... turn off when feeling other things. Sun and Moon don't have a customer service mode, and that's WILD to me that their programming requires them to act like this all the time. Exhibit B: Sun's pain in the transformation scene.

He's making such exaggerated motions and movements to INDICATE he is in pain or holding something back. He's gripping his face like something is trying to come out of it, and even dramatically falls backwards to indicate a loss of control in his body. Whether the way the fall looks so cartoonist was intentionally programmed in, I couldn't tell you.

And then... there's Moon.

This is SO cartoon villain sequel, isn't it? The hands tapping delicately on the surface, the exaggerated head tilt, all of it is so wildly exaggerated in such a smooth way to let you know "Ah! I'm in danger! Great!"

And yet... he still is low to the ground. Still in that pose of going after someone SMALL. Performing for someone small. His evilness is almost completely exaggerated and, dare I say, fabricated by his programming. Of course, the virus probably had something to do with it but LIKE! Look at that range of motion!

Idk what the point of all this is, I just wanna say: it's totally understandable to make the boys super duper expressive in the artistic, flat 2d styles i see a lot!

But man I do hope someone draws them biblically accurate while expressing something else because that would be hilarious to see Sun throwing a temper tantrum by banging his fists on the ground and flailing while his face is just

:D

#daycare attendants #dca fandom

[tarjapearce]

I'm just minding my own business, eating a nice hot Italian sausage sandwich, and my brain decided to do the naughty thinking

Imagine Miguel all pent up cause he hasn't been home cause our big man's a workaholic, and when he is home he's dead tired or you're busy too for whatever reason. You two finally get to sit down and have dinner for a little date night, he's just finally relaxing and ready to dig into the delicious meal you two made together, and the poor poor man looks up just in time to see your lips wrapped around a sausage or any other suggestive food item., and his brain just fries.

I never understood the food leading to dirty thoughts thing until one of my exes straight up forbid me from getting ice cream cones or popsicles on dates and he had to explain it. Now I just find it hilarious

Oh nonny, 🤭

Mild nsfw undercut. suggestive, Dirty minded Miguel ~

It didn't matter how heavy his shoulders felt like or how hefty they slumped, exhausted as he was, knowing you awaited him with welcoming arms was his reward after an extra busy day at HQ.

The Boss would find himself lost in your loving embrace, replenishing his energies with that gesture alone.

"Welcome home, Miggy"

Your voice was like a lullaby after the countless screams, barking orders to recruits that seemed to be slacking and so many complaints about the little malfunctions of his gizmo. But now, he was home with you, ready to prepare dinner.

Being a leader was exhausting, and when he was exhausted, he'd be hungry. Mostly of the times he'd be starving for you. Either just physical comfort like showering him in affection, playing with his hair or even letting him snuggle you on the bed or couch, whichever he plopped on first.

But other times it was the hunger for having you a trembling and breathless mess underneath him, mewling his name and pleading for more of him.

He chopped his share of vegetables as you cooked other things next to him. The little chat about his day turned into little playful bites on his arm, trying to light his mood up.

"Go sit down, I'll serve. You're tired."

"I'm okay, corazón."

You slapped his butt gently and smooched him, "None of that. You always work hard. Lemme spoil you, ok? Go sit."

Knowing that arguing with you was futile, he went to his seat and you served him one of his favorite comfort foods.

Huevos rancheros, some chile con queso and some spicy sausages. The way his lips burned at the spicy food was one of your preferred faces he made whenever eating along a tall glass of lemonade.

He dug right in after you sat next to him, devouring his food like he hadn't eaten in a long time, and knowing him, he probably hadn't have a nutritious meal in the past days. He groaned in delight at your seasoning.

"You'll choke, sweetheart. Do you want more?"

"I'll get it, it's ok."

He was about to stand up when his eyes darted towards you and your lips. Pouty and kissable lips perfectly molded in the round shape of the sausage. His Adam's apple bobbed as you bit down gently on it, letting the taste invade your mouth with a satisfied groan.

Some of the meats juices scurried away in the corner of your lips, one of your fingers dabbed away the little droplets before sucking it off your finger. His brain was entering an override. Lips parted as you took another bite, a little groan rumbled at the base of his throat as his eyes fixed on the degluting motion of your throat.

Just the way it moved when he slid in and out of your mouth, using your warm crevice in a more creative and delicious way. Your tongue peeked to lick your bottom lip, cleaning the saucy mix off it to then release it with an inaudible pop.

"You okay?" Big, round bunny eyes stared at him innocently.

"Yeah..." He tore his eyes away from you. Cause he knew that if he kept staring, he'd just throw you over his shoulder and take you to the bedroom where he'd make a trembling mess out of you. Tiredness slowly abandoned his body.

How could such mundane thing had turned his gears this way was beyond him.

"So good" You mumbled at the taste of the sauce he had done. His cock twitched almost involuntarily. Oh how he remembered the other intonations of such phrase, specially when he buried himself deep enough in your tight and moist walls.

"Miguel?"

His hands slicked his hair back, trying to placate his thoughts.

"Si?"

"Do you want more?"

He'd always want more, that wasn't even a question. Would it be too selfish to just rip your clothes off and bend you over the kitchen and raw you silly until your legs gave out?

Focus

But how could he when you were slurping the sausage off? Was it intentional? No. You were just hungry and he was definitely being dirty minded.

"You sure?"

"I'm fine, amor."

Lies. He wasn't fine and his cock certainly wasn't fine either, as it grew painfully tight in his sweatpants.

"Oh, you have something in your lips"

You'd dab away the sauce off him, to then lick it off.

Dios mío...

He stood gently to then pry the dishes away from your hands and threw you over his shoulder. It had been the last straw

"M-Miguel!" You giggled as he marched towards the bedroom. Exhaustion abandoning him completely.

Yeah, he'd be always hungry for something more.

#miguel o'hara #miguel o'hara x reader #miguel o'hara x you #atsv miguel #t writes✨ #miguel spiderman #miguel o'hara x y/n #spiderman 2099 x you #spiderman 2099 fanfiction #atsv fanfiction #suggestive

[kindagayfish]

General (Stampede) Wolfwood x reader headcanons cause he makes my brain go brrrr

Also, reader is gn and there is some nsfw below the cut!

You’re in the car when Meryl hits him, and the first one to his side to see if he’s still breathing. When he looks up at you and sees the sun haloing your face, he thinks he’s died and gone to heaven

Nickname’s you “angel” for the day

“And that just leaves the last one for me and the angel.” The dark-haired man flashes you a grin, nodding towards the fourth chamber inside the giant worm.

“Wait, hang on, why do I have to go with you?” You stammer out, heat rising to your cheeks.

“You guys don’t trust me right? Wouldn’t it be smarter to keep an eye on me then?”

“Would be better if I went instead,” Roberto cuts in, eyeing the man.

“Sorry old man, you’re not really my type.” He waves Roberto off before heading towards the opening of the chamber. “Now we don’t have any time to waste standing around.”

“Y/n” Roberto tosses you his gun. “Shoot’em in the knees if he tries anything.”

“Yes sir”

You’re surprised when he’s the one who pulls you from the giant worm’s guts. And after thanking him, he gives you his name.

Falling asleep on Wolfwood’s shoulder in the car is just a habit that wordlessly happens after he joins the group. At first you would just lean your head back and try to stay upright while squished between Vash and Wolfwood. However, this will lead to your head bobbing a lot and not actually being able to fully fall asleep so after watching it happen for the tenth time, Wolfwood just guides your head down gently onto his shoulder. Vash would definitely raise an eyebrow at him but Wolfwood would ignore it with the deepest blush on his face.

When you ask him to do something for you the first time, he’ll ask for a kiss as a reward.

If the request flusters you, he’ll laugh saying he’ll put it on your tab and wink. If you take him up on the request, he’ll completely lose his composure and be stuttering out nonsense (honestly didn’t think you’d actually do it).

Keeps his white shirt unbuttoned even more than normal after catching you staring one day (I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN THIS MAN’S TITS?????)

Will sometimes just hand you his cross just to see you struggle with holding it up. Thinks it’s hilarious and always waits until you beg for his help.

WILL MANHANDLE YOU JUST LIKE HIS GUN THIS MAN LOVES HOW STRONG HE IS AND WILL SHOW OFF EVERY CHANCE HE GETS

While running from danger Wolfwood will legit throw you over his shoulder and carry his weapon under his other arm

If you are getting shot at though, he will use his god-given strength to throw you out of the way. You might still get hurt, but better to be alive with a broken arm than be dead full of bullet holes.

I think every time he uses one of his vials, it also heals the damage in his lungs from that nasty smoking addiction and that’s why he can still sprint at full speed without wheezing

Will finally have his Oh shit I’m in love with them moment after you get hurt for the first time (I have a fic im writing for the confession and it’s so good omg) but keeps it to himself because he isn’t sure you feel the same. Probably thinks you wouldn’t ever want to be with a man who calls himself an undertaker.

Even before his big realization, Wolfwood was very protective of you. If you got into a disagreement at a bar, he knew you could handle yourself, but that didn’t stop him from hovering behind you with a deadly aura, his eyes threatening any man who dare approach you.

A nsfw treat >:)

I honestly believe this man is the definition of a switch

Like I feel like he himself would be such a brat, but also could dish it out to a brat partner???

SUCH A TEASE

Praise and body worship!!!!!!!! Literally your body is a temple to him

I feel like he would have some silly and serious moments with you. Like this man makes LOVE to you, but also just loves to tease and fluster you and loves when you get shy/embarrassed.

But Wolfwood is also so easy to fluster too so it’s just a battle of who can shut the other person up first

He’s got some hot breathy moans (lord have mercy)

Wolfwood will say a prayer before going down on you

He’ll have you naked, situated on the bed so that your legs hang off the edge while he’s knelt in front of you on the floor

“Oh heavenly father, I have come to thank you-”

“Nicholassss what are you doing?” You laugh as you prop yourself up on one elbow to give him a look.

“Uh, thanking the lord for this meal? You’re ruining it. Now I have to start over.”

He’ll trail kisses up your leg and thighs while finishing his prayer, before finally bringing his eager lips to where you need them the most.

#nicholas d. wolfwood #wolfwood x you #wolfwood x reader #wolfwood headcanons #trigun x reader #trigun stampede

[bradshawssugarbaby]

This Love We’ve Got Is The Best of All - Bob Floyd x Reader

A/N: I couldn’t help but write more Christmas-themed Bob fluff, sorry y’all. Inspired by one of my favourite Christmas songs - Merry Christmas by Ed Sheeran & Sir Elton John 🎄🤍

pairing: Bob Floyd x Reader

warnings: just more adorable holiday themed Bob fluff, this one references a Christmas angel for the tree, if that needs a warning?

word count: 1.2k

“Does your family not use tinsel for their tree?”

Bob crinkled his nose at your question, shaking his head. A soft laugh escaped his lips as he looked to you, then back at your Christmas tree, a full, artificial, yet traditional looking green tree, now covered in sparkling silver tinsel roped around it from top to bottom.

“Can’t say that we do, babe. It’s very…glittery,” Bob frowned as he looked at the loose strands of tinsel that were scattered on the floor. You could tell by the look on his face, he was regretting the decision to let you take the lead on decorating your first Christmas tree together, but, Bob was far too polite and considerate of your feelings to protest it at this point. If you wanted tinsel, you were getting tinsel.

“Glittery is the whole point, Bobby,” you teased as you tossed a rope of excess tinsel at him, the silvery strands covering him, static electricity causing the threads to cling to his sweater, glasses and hair.

“You’re hilarious,” he retorted dryly as he took the tinsel off of him, discarding it in an empty plastic tote designated for Christmas decor that the two of you had begun accumulating together.

Bob began sorting through the ornaments you’d purchased, placing them in groups of the same colour together, all the gold spheres in one pile, silver balls in another, and champagne coloured in another pile again. He was notoriously well-organized when it came to workspaces, and Christmas decorating was no exception for him. Once the set was completely sorted, hooks added to allow you to hang them as you wanted, you heard a satisfied hum from Bob’s lips. He smiled up at you from his position on the floor, cross-legged in his dark-washed denim jeans and his chocolate brown knit sweater, silver wire rimmed glasses perched on the bridge of his nose, framing his sapphire coloured eyes perfectly - you couldn’t help but notice the rosiness of his cheeks, flushed warm with excitement about the holiday season.

“Is your tinsel bomb of a tree ready for me?” Bob chuckles, a smirk painted on his perfect pink lips.

“Ha ha. Very funny, Robert.”

“I like to think I’m hilarious, actually.”

Bob stood to his feet, his large hands finding their way to your hips, pulling you into his frame closely, your bodies just barely touching. He pressed his lips to yours in a soft, yet passionate kiss - the kind that sweeps you off your feet and leaves you wanting, craving more. He pulled away with a grin, laughing to himself as he kissed your cheek before picking up a silver ball shaped ornament from the neatly sorted piles he made and heading to the tree. He leaned upwards, hanging the plastic ornament delicately on one of the tree’s limbs, adorned with artificial plastic pine needles.

“Are you gonna help me, or was tinsel your only contribution?” He teased as he raised an eyebrow at you, his cobalt blue eyes twinkling as they caught the warm yellow-white lights of the Christmas tree.

“I mean, I suppose I could help, but just know, if it was up to me, this tree would be covered in tinsel and pink ornaments.”

“Believe me, honey, I know it,” Bob shook his head as he placed another gentle kiss on your cheek.

You selected one of the frosted champagne coloured balls from the sorted piles on the floor, hanging it on a branch as you and Bob got to work decorating the tree. Before long, your tree was covered in hues of gold, silver and champagne, twinkling and sparkling like a star in the night sky. Bob picked up the tree topper from the table and opened the box carefully. He pulled out a beautifully hand-painted Christmas angel, almost identical to the kind your own mother had on her tree back in your idyllic little hometown on the east coast, thousands of miles from San Diego, where you and Bob were residing.

“Whatd’ya think, honey? I tried my best to find one like your mama’s. I know it’s not perfect, but I think it looks pretty close?” He said, a hopeful glint in his eyes.

You felt your lip tremble slightly at your partner’s sweet gesture to make the first holiday in your new home together a special one for you. He knew how much you home, and, while it wasn’t unlike Bob to do thoughtful things for you, like surprise you with your favourite takeout for dinner, bring home a bouquet of flowers on a weekday after work, or turn up at your office with lunch for you, this moment had your eyes welling up with tears of joy, touched by the fact he’d remembered your stories of decorating your tree at home, memories of your family huddling together, bickering over what ornament went where, what Christmas movie to watch while you decorated, the smell of your mom’s freshly baked cookies wafting through the house, and your dad, the tallest in the house, putting the angel atop your tree year after year.

Bob gave you a soft smile, his hand gently resting on your shoulder, giving you a comforting squeeze as he passed the tree topper to you.

“It’s beautiful,” you murmured, nodding in appreciation.

“I figured I couldn’t get you the Christmas back home that you wanted or all the traditions, but, I could start one of our own with this?” He smiled hopefully as he pressed his lips to your forehead in a lingering, gentle kiss.

“Do you want to put it on the tree, Bobby?” You smiled up at him with a tear rolling down your cheek.

“Me?”

“Mhmm. Maybe if we have kids someday, you can do what my dad did for my house, be the designated tree topper-er.”

“Well, how can I say no to our future, maybe, kids?” Bob laughed softly, shaking his head.

He pulled a wooden kitchen chair over to the tree, standing on it to ensure he could reach the top of the 7 foot artificial balsam fir standing before him. He held his hand out for you to pass him the angel. When you placed it in his hands, he held it protectively, almost like cradling a newborn infant, as if he was cautiously avoiding dropping it on the hardwood floor below the chair. He leaned in and placed it in its rightful spot atop your tree, the hand-painted smiling face looking down at you both as Bob stepped off the chair to admire his work. He threw an arm around your shoulder playfully, smiling as you both looked the tree over.

“Well?”

“I think it’s perfect,” You nod your head quickly, a smile on your features as you both admire it, “It’s beautiful.”

“It’s not as beautiful as you are, but it’s a close second for the prettiest thing in the room, I’d say,” Bob chuckles as he pulls you in closer for a cuddle, his arm still draped over you.

#robert bob floyd x reader #bob floyd x reader #bob x reader #robert bob floyd fluff #robert bob floyd fic #bob floyd fluff #bob top gun fic #christmas fluff #top gun maverick fanfiction #robert bob floyd #robert floyd #bob floyd #robert bob floyd x you #robert floyd x you #robert floyd x reader #bob floyd x you

[fighterpilothoe]

His Sweatshirt - Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x F!reader (Part 1)

A/N: I’ve had this idea for a while and I finally got it executed. I’m actually really excited for this and I hope that it turned out okay. Like, reblog, follow – do whatever but please don’t steal my work. It’s taken me forever to finally get my idea down and formulated correctly. 

Please, let me know what you guys think!

Word Count: 2.7K

Warnings: Ankle injury and a swear word, I think.

The summer sun was beating down right through the open top of your Jeep as you drove to the Hard Deck. It was a hot day in San Diego, so what better way to spend it other than playing dogfight football with the Dagger Squad? You had woken up to a text from Rooster saying that since it was so nice out, he had requested a “team-building” day and Mav had approved. Even though you weren’t a Navy Aviator, you were always invited.

The Dagger Squad had taken you in as one of their own after Rooster had accidentally spilled his beer all over you one night at the Hard Deck. He felt so bad, in his drunken stupor, that he insisted that you come back to his group of friends with him, literally not taking no for an answer.

Ever since then, you have become one of them. You were included in the squad group chats, invited on outings and general hangouts, and they even gave you a callsign: Duck. Fanboy was actually the one to coin you your callsign, solely on the fact that you and Rooster had become really close friends and he thought it was hilarious; Rooster and Duck.

Pulling into the parking lot of the Hard Deck, you saw that you were one of the last ones to arrive. You pulled into a spot that was between Rooster’s Bronco and Hangman’s F-150. After putting the Jeep in park, you pulled out your phone to see where everyone was meeting. Phoenix had texted the group chat 5 minutes ago, saying to meet on the back patio of the Hard Deck to figure out teams. After grabbing your beach bag and water bottle, locking the Jeep, you started towards the back deck.

Walking around the side of the Hard Deck, you were met with a chorus of laughter and basic conversation. Making your way up onto the deck, Rooster was the first to notice you, walking over to greet you with a hug. “There she is! Glad you could make it, Quacks.” For some reason, he preferred to call you “Quacks” versus “Duck,” which you didn’t mind.

-

After hanging out and talking for a bit, the teams were picked and everyone made their way down to the beach. The teams consisted of Rooster, you, Coyote, Bob, Harvard, Fritz, and Payback versus Mav, Hangman, Phoenix, Fanboy, Omaha, Halo, and Yale. Mav and you had an unspoken rule that with one look, you’d both retire out of the game for two reasons: you weren’t in as good of shape as everyone else and as Mav put it, he’s “old.”

With everyone lining up against their designated person, you saw that you were lined up with Hangman. He looked across to you and gave you a megawatt smile that stirred your stomach up. With a blush that seemed to come out of nowhere creeping up your neck, you gave him a small smile back. He seemed to notice your body’s response to his smile and lightly chuckled.

Apart from what everyone else said about Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin, you and him got along really well. He was always kind and nice towards you, never sending unwanted and unwarranted banter your way. On nights where you’d hang out with the squad at the Hard Deck after a busy day, he always made a point to ask about your day. He would check in on you to make sure you were doing okay, seeing if you needed another drink or some company. It was the same way on other gatherings between the squad. He always seemed to be in your corner.

The group didn’t know what to think of his mannerisms when you were around. He was sweet with you but to others, he was his normal self. You really didn’t know what to think of it either. On one hand, him being sweet had your heart thumping and your head spinning. On the other hand, you didn’t think he thought of you any more than just a friend.

The sound of a whistle brought you back to reality. The footballs were snapped back and everyone was scrambling to get open and also block their person at the same time. Hangman was on you in a second, blocking your line of sight to Rooster. He, however, had a perfect line of sight to Mav, and being that he towered over you, he was able to catch the football with no problem. He took off towards his end zone with you trailing behind. Being that he was taller, he had longer legs so he made the touchdown in no time.

After Hangman had scored three more touchdowns, Harvard and you switched so you were now guarding Halo. Hangman had a small frown on his face as you switched places with Harvard but quickly shook it off. With another snap of the ball, everyone was in motion. Halo and you were on the far side by the water, taking your time moving around each other. What neither one of you failed to notice was Coyote and Omaha barreling your way, trying to catch an in-air ball. They hadn’t noticed you either.

What happened next, happened in slow motion. Omaha plowed into you and Coyote plowed into Halo. Being that both you and Halo were on the smaller side, the impact sent you both straight into the shallow water, soaking both of you. You felt a sharp pain shoot up your leg from your ankle.

Another whistle blow and you’re being pulled from the water. Coughing up the water that you had inhaled, you look up to see Hangman holding you, bridal style and carrying you to the set of towels on the beach. “Are you okay?” Concern was laced in his tone as he set you down on the towel.

“Yeah, I think so. I felt a sharp pain shoot through my ankle, though.”

“Let me take a look. Which ankle, darlin’?” The nickname sent your heart racing.

“Uhm, the right one.” You choke out with a stutter. He doesn’t seem to notice though as he looks down at your ankle.

“Well, it’s not broken. But there’s some serious swelling and bruising that’s starting. I’m going to run up and see if I can snag some ice from Penny. I’ll be right back, okay?” He looks back up to your face, studying your expression.

“Okay. Thanks, Jake.” You say with a small smile.

While he ran up to the Hard Deck, Rooster came over to check on you. “Hey Quacks, you okay?”

“Yeah, I’m okay. How’s Halo?”

“She’s fine. Just wet and annoyed.” He responded with a laugh. With that, Jake came jogging back with a bag of ice in his hands.

“Hey, I got some ice for your ankle.” He sat down by your feet and put the ice gently on your ankle.

“Thanks, Jake. I really appreciate it.”

“It’s not a problem, darlin’.” He sent you that megawatt smile again, still holding the bag of ice on your ankle.

The others decided to call it after Halo and you had taken a plunge. Rooster had the idea to start a little bonfire in one of the nearby pits. Everyone agreed, not wanting to leave yet.

The sun was starting to set and so the San Diego heat was starting to fade away. The fact that you had gotten slammed into the cold Pacific Ocean and now, had a bag of ice on your ankle, sent shivers through your body. Jake noticed your body trembling and looked up at you. “Do you have a sweatshirt with you?”

“No, I didn’t pack one with me. I wasn’t planning on getting soaked.” You say, laughing.

“I guess that’s fair,” Jake responded with a smile. “Tell you what, we’ll head over to the fire that Rooster’s got going and I’ll run back to my truck and grab one for you.”

“Jake, I don’t want to take your sweatshirt from you-” He stopped you by holding up his hand. “I have a couple in my truck. It’s okay, really. Now, let’s get you up.” With that he stood up, extending his hands out to you. You grabbed onto his hands and he pulled you up. Being that one ankle was out of commission, you stumbled forward into Jake’s chest.

“Woah, I gotcha.”

Sheepishly, you looked up at Jake and smiled. “Thanks, Jake.”

“Not a problem, darlin’.” Once Jake made sure you were steady, he turned around and crouched in front of you. You gave him a questioning look before he told you to hop onto his back. With a giggle that developed into full on laughter, you found yourself hugging Jake’s neck and breathing in his scent. He was careful as he walked over to the fire, finding an Adirondack chair to place you in. He gently set you down, working to prop your foot up so it wouldn’t swell any more.

The rest of the squad watched all of this unfold while standing around the fire. They all shared knowing smiles and went on to different conversations once Jake pulled away from you.

“There we go. Are you comfortable?”

“Yeah, I’m okay.” You respond meeting his eyes and smiling.

“Okay, I’ll be right back.” And with that, he made his way back to his truck. You watched him walk away as you became deep in thought. Rooster sauntered over to you and sat down in the Adirondack chair that was next to yours. “What’s going through that head of yours?”

“I don’t know what to make of Jake, Roos. I can’t tell if his affection is stemming from friendship or something more and it’s driving me crazy. I really like him, and my feelings for him just keep growing. I don’t want to lose him as a friend by saying something. What do I do?” You look at Rooster with pleading eyes.

His gaze softens as he grasps your hand in his. “Quacks, I can say for certain that you wouldn’t ruin your friendship with him. Just talk to him and be honest about how you feel.”

“Thanks, Roos. What would I do without you to keep my head level?”

Laughing, he responds back saying “your head would probably explode, if I’m being honest.”

-

While Jake walked back to his truck, he couldn’t stop thinking about you and your cute little smile. He had taken a liking to you soon after the squad had adopted you in. You were always welcoming and sweet to him, which was something that he wasn’t used to. Other women would throw themselves at him, but all they were were uniformed chasers. They wanted the bragging rights that went along with sleeping with a Navy Officer, nothing more. Yeah, Jake gave in to a lot of them, but they meant nothing. He always dreaded the next morning, and the conversations that would follow. They only wanted him for his rank, they never wanted the real ‘Jake.’

You had been the only person, outside of the squad, that actually wanted to sit down and get to know him and who he was outside of the Navy. It made his smile thinking about the night that you both had played drunken 20 questions at Phoenix’s apartment. The giggles that erupted from your mouth had him smitten.

When he made it to his truck, he found a beach blanket and his Navy Academy sweatshirt. He wore that sweatshirt more than he cared to admit, but it was extremely comfortable. He did a smell check on the sweatshirt, and when he decided that it smelled fine, he made his way back to you.

When he arrived back at the beach, he could hear your beautiful laughter, mixed in with laughter and commotion from the others. From a distance, Jake could make out your beautiful smile and he felt his chest flutter. God, he was so far gone.

-

Rooster had just finished telling a story about how Fanboy would sing show tunes throughout their last deployment and how Phoenix threatened to throw him overboard if he didn’t stop singing “Let It Go” from Frozen. Your sides had started to hurt from all the laughing, which you’d think you’d be accustomed to by now.

Out of the corner of your eye, you could see Jake make his way back to the bonfire. You met his gaze when he got close to you and gave him a small smile.

“Here ya go, darlin.” He held out a sweatshirt for you, which you happily accepted. After slipping it over your head, you were overwhelmed with the smell that was Jake. His body wash and his cologne were prevalent smells. It took everything in you to not pull it up to your nose and inhale it all. He wrapped the blanket over your lap, being careful not to bump your ankle.

“Thank you, Jake. I really appreciate it.” You say with a smile, meeting his gaze again.

“It’s not a problem, darlin’. Honest.” He responded with a smile that reached his eyes.

With that, you both joined back into the conversations that were going on around you. Jake stayed close to your side throughout the rest of the night, checking on you to make sure you were okay.

-

A yawn had pulled Jake from his current conversation with Coyote. He looked over to see that your eyes had started to droop a little and you were curled up, as best as you could, in the beach blanket.

“Are you tired darlin’?”

“I’m getting there, yeah,” you responded lazily.

“Do you want me to take you home?” He asked.

“Honestly, that would be great. It’s been a busy day,” you say with a little laugh.

Jake stood up and helped you up, his weight supporting yours. Once you were good to stand on your own, Jake crouched in front of you again. With the blanket in your hand, you slowly crawled onto his back. Once you were situated, you both said your goodbyes and headed for Jake’s truck.

Sleep seemed to consume you for the little journey back to Jake’s truck because the next thing you knew, Jake was buckling you in and placing the blanket back over your lap. He looked up to you and gave you a heartwarming smile before closing the door and jogging over to his side of the truck. You rested your arm on the center counsel, supporting your head while he pulled out of the parking lot.

The radio was playing a 90s country music station at a low volume while Jake drove. Sleep must’ve pulled you under again because the next thing you knew, Jake was waking you up.

“Hey sleeping beauty, we’re at your apartment. Do you want some help getting upstairs?” You responded with a mumbled “mmhmm.” With that, Jake jumped out of the truck and helped you down from his passenger seat. He gave you another piggy back ride up to your door. He smiled when he felt you snuggle into his back and give a content sigh. When he arrived to your door, he asked for your keys.

Once you were both inside your apartment, he easily found your bedroom. He had been to your apartment a few different times for dinner or movie nights with the squad so he knew his way around. He loved how your apartment was decorated exactly to match with your personality, and how it smelled exactly like you.

He slowly sat down on your bed, moving your hands from around his neck and laying you back on your pillows. He smiled to himself when you let out a discomforted grunt and scrunched up your face. With the loss of contact, you slowly opened your eyes, looking up at him. Jake moved to prop up your foot with an unused pillow, then he came and sat back down by you. He brushed some of your hair out of your face, studying it as he moved the strands. Your voice brought his out of his thoughts.

“Jake?”

“Yes darlin’?”

“Thank you for taking care of me today. And helping me get home. I really appreciate it, and you.” Jake didn’t know how to respond so he leaned forward and pressed a sweet kiss to your forehead. Your eyes fluttered closed and sleep threatens to take over again.

“Sleep beautiful. I’ll text you in the morning to see how you’re doing.”

That was the last thing you heard before you let sleep engulf your mind and body. Jake quietly got up and made his way out of your apartment, making sure to lock the door behind him.

#jake hangman seresin #jake seresin #jake seresin x reader #jake seresin imagine #top gun #top gun maverick #hangman #jake seresin x you #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake seresin fanfiction #top gun fanifiction #top gun maverick fic

[sapphic-woes]

Staked

Vampire hunter!Abby x Vampire!Reader drabble! MINORS DNI

also thanking @wunderschon-lieblich cuz her thoughts made me actually write this drabble lmao

Your body rocks with a steady rhythm, and sweat bounces off her skin. There’s a tantalizing view of a warm body below you. The way her arms flex and her chest staggers. So unmistakably human. You watch a particular droplet roll down her neck. It pools at her collarbone before rolling off onto the wooden floor. You think it's a waste you didn’t get to taste it.

Abby Anderson is sweet, and you’re greedy for every last bite of her.

Silence fills the room save for your gasping moans and her breathless grunts–continuously on and offbeat. Your lips spread into a wry smile, and it puts a frown on Abby's face.

"Aw, don't give me that look, little hunter." Your trembling hands snake down to wrap around the wooden stake embedded into your waist, fingers wet with your cold blood as you laughed down at her, "isn't this view one of a kind?"

"Jesus, you sick bastard," Abby snarled back as she mercilessly thrust into your dripping cunt, making you choke. It was a wonder to see her like this–her boring priest uniform was crumbled and soiled in juices, ripped apart by your claws to see her glorious abs. Her long, neat little braid was undone, and it was tastefully disheveled–making her look more of a sinner than even you.

The strap she had on was as thick as her hatred was for your kind, and you wouldn't have had it any other way. Your fangs bit the bottom of your lip in ecstasy, letting her continuously ram into you. Fuck yes. This human was so hilariously easy to manipulate, and it was adorable to see Abby lose her precious control with you.

"Please, you love it." There was a spike of heat and a quickened heartbeat, sweet blood flowing to paint her freckled cheeks and shoulders. What was the use in even trying to hide it? Like an open book, you could smell her arousal practically drenching the goddamn church in its scent. She's only fooling herself, if even that. Then again, you always found that dishonest part about the hunter rather endearing.

"Mmh…harder." You hissed out the command just as you ground down on her strap, leaning forward to grip her chin in the palm of your hand. You let the sharp tip of your claws dig in slightly, raising an eyebrow when she glowered back at you. 

You could hear Abby's throat bob as she thickly swallowed, feeling her teeth grind to bite back an insult. You knew she couldn't resist your pull, but you'd be lying if you said it wasn't fun to watch her try.

In one swift motion you lay on your back, and to your delight, Abby drove the entirety of her dick straight into you.

"F-fuck! A-Abby it's, it's s-so good, mo–ore…!" Your cries of pleasure filled the room as your little entertainment obeyed. Skin slapped together as she pounded away, muscles tense as she possessively held your quivering body in place. There was nothing gentle about Abby's movements–each thrust was meant to break you more than the last, and you loved it.

You loved to watch her use all her strength against you, yet have her only be capable of turning you on. You adored making her blue eyes dark with anger, resentment, and shameful lust. No matter how much she struggled, Abby Anderson could never beat you. 

"Good girl, ah–d-don't you dare stop…" She was the hunter most of your kind feared, and yet with you, she was only allowed this false sense of power whenever you wanted her hands between your legs, and nothing more. You knew that, but more importantly, she knew that.

"Give it to me darling. I've been starving all week." The way Abby faltered made you inwardly swoon. The more she resisted the cuter she was, and you giggled as her wrist flinched under your lips, stiffening when your fangs traced her pulsing veins. You kept her gaze as you teased her, making her tremble and twitch with every movement before you decided to have your fill.

"Ugh!" Abby let out a muffled grunt as you drank her rich, delicious blood, long gulps making crimson drip down your chin. Her blood was addicting, dizzying even, making you lustfully groan as you took a breath. At this rate, you'd suck her dry–and you wanted to toy with her for a little longer before that happened.

"You really taste the best…" you murmured, licking her wounds until they healed. Her skin was scorching hot, and you grinned as her other hand tightened around your waist. Seems like the aphrodisiac kicked in. 

Surely enough, you looked up into clouded eyes and rouge cheeks. Abby heaved as she stared down at you with blatant lust, and you grinned, sucking her fingers till she mindlessly shoved them deeper into your mouth.

"What are you waiting for?" You spoke around her thick digits, drool wetting her knuckles as she let her fingertips graze the tip of your fangs. Your lips around her hand made her irises burn, and a shiver coursed down your spine.

"Fuck me good darling–nice and hard like I’m the monster you always say I am…and who knows? You might actually get to kill me this time"

#abby x reader #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson #tlou2 #tlou2 headcanons #tlou2 x reader #anyways you're like a pureblood so thats y u aren't dead ok. u are a...MIKEALSON DUN DU #N DUN :O #bhsjfbhejsfbehsjfbehjs #wasn't a white oak stake ik my lore #tlou #the last of us

[mara-tevith-solo]

Sing a Little Song For Me

Part 2 of several drabbles that are in no particular order so enjoy.

Warnings: Mentions of death, Mentions of dead bodies, Canon levels of violence, canon levels of war, foul-mouthed MC, child kidnapping, Quaritch is still his own warning, enemies to lovers, English is my first language but I suck at it 

Photo not mine

Pairing: eventual Colonel Miles Quaritch x Na’vi/Avatar named f!reader/oc appearance not really described 

Rated 18+ kids

Words: 1.1k+ 

I didn't care if they could hear me as I crashed through the foliage after them, keeping up with them just enough to not lose them "Spider!" I called, not caring that there was desperation in my voice in front of the enemy.

"Mom!" He yelled back, his voice ragged as he grunted like he was struggling. "Mom!" He called again before a hail of bullets forced me to find cover, even at the cost of ground. "No! Leave her alone! Mom!" Spider called desperately, sounding like he was struggling harder.

"Enough!" Quaritch barked as a dropship lowered enough for them to leave on it.

I sprinted to close the distance in a last ditch attempt to get him back, not caring about the chances that I'd get shot "No! Spider!" I cried as Quaritch made it up onto the dropship with Spider, smiling ferally down at me for a moment, a moment that I took full advantage of as I knocked an arrow, pulling it back and loosing it with just enough aim to be confident there was no way in hell it was hitting Spider. Quaritch quickly dodged with wide fearful eyes, the arrow imbedding itself where his head had been not a blink prior as I snarled up at him, someone forming a voiceless curse before the dropship was cruising away at speed. I stewed the entire jog back to the shack, plotting the best way to get Spider back from the genocidal maniac turned avatar pilot. Out of all the facts I had at that moment, the fact that Colonel Miles Quaritch, xenophobic homicidal asshole turned bogeyman we used to scare children into behaving, was back from the dead, and in a Na'vi body to boot. Karma was a hilarious bitch sometimes.

I looted the bodies by the shack, they certainly didn't need the kit, and we needed every little bit we could get. I didn't bother to look at any of their faces or tags as I collected useful bits and bobs, guns and ammunition finding their way over my shoulders and slung across my hips, fanny packs of medicine and bandages and other little things also found their way around my torso. I finished out the hunt with the sniper rifle, taking every round the Avatar had on his person before finally leaving, back to the clearing so that Thor could actually land. "Where have you been?" Jake hissed like an over worried mother as soon as Thor was settled on the perch, his ears back as his eyes studied me with concern and frustration.

"Took a shot at Colonel Dick-For-Brains and then looted a bit. Got some good stuff, they gave the best shit to those losers." I smiled tightly at him as I began to unload my person, keeping the sniper rifle and equipment away from the general pile so that it wouldn't get carried off.

"I'm being serious, Ani!" He snapped at me, latching onto the anger I had given him.

"I am too, Jake!" I snarled right back, wheeling around to face him head on, stepping over the small pile of spoils to gain ground, making him back away in alarm. I'd never acted that way towards him, had never snapped so aggressively at him. He raised his hands in surrender and backed up further, letting me have the space I so desperately needed. My shoulders were heaving with deep angry breaths that quickly changed into barely contained sobs "He took Spider, Jake. He took him, and I couldn't save him." Sobs leaked out as I spoke, tears pouring down my face as I tried physically holding myself together "He's gonna torture him! Oh god! Oh Eywa!" Like the last fiber of an old rope, my resolve snapped, leaving me a sobbing mess. Jake was instantly collecting me in a hug, shushing me as best as he could.

"I know, I know." He murmured into my hair "Kiri told us. She's really broken up about it." I nodded mutely, no longer able to trust my voice. "He's a strong kid, got a double dose of stubborn from his parents, and he's resourceful. He'll be alright, I can almost promise it." He reassured me, saying all the right things to give me hope. Neither of us spoke for a few minutes, both enjoying the comfort the other brought while it lasted "We're leaving the Omaticaya, they want you and I, and they won't stop until either they have us, or we're dead. And they'll kill anyone and everyone to get to us." My stomach dropped with his words as I pulled away from him, knowing that he was right "We started this, all those years ago--"

"They started it," I cut him off firmly, leaving no room for argument "and we finished it. We can finish it again." I sniffed, wiping my tears away with newfound determination "I hope this bastard pre-wrote his own eulogy again." I growled at no one in particular, resolved to kill him again and again, as many times as needed until humanity got the hint and fucked right off.

Jake smiled tiredly, nodding as he clapped me on the shoulder "I'll arrange everything with the Clan, pass the mantle." I could see the pain it caused him to leave the people who had accepted us so firmly, who we'd fought and bled beside battle after battle. But it was our duty to keep them safe, no matter the cost to ourselves. I nodded, gripping his forearm until he was pulling away. Thor cooed on his roost and I bit my lip in displeasure, knowing that I was going to miss him terribly.

He seemed to know something was wrong as soon as I was back in his sight line, cocking his head to the side slightly and not taking his eyes off of me as I closed the distance, pace by pace. As soon as I was close enough, one of my braids was between his beak, just holding it aloft gently as he watched me expectantly, cooing softly at my forlorn expression "I have to leave with my family, to keep the People safe. The humans want Jake and I, and they won't stop until they have us." I sighed and closed my eyes, not bearing to keep meeting his gaze, instead brushing his muzzle tenderly "I'm not going to ask you to come with me. I'm not going to ask you to leave your home." I announced firmly, though I still couldn't look at him without wanting to cry. He dropped my braid and tapped me with a kuru, searching for mine, wanting to communicate more solidly. As soon as tsaheylu was made, he was adamant about not leaving my side, that if I was in danger, he'd be there for every little bit of it. I met his gaze with tears falling down my cheeks, making him coo as he gently brought me in against his chest for a sort of embrace. "Thank you." I sniffled, hiding my face near one of his chest vents. I didn't want anyone else to see me cry, not there, not then.

#miles quaritch #miles quaritch x reader #Miles Quaritch x oc #na'vi reader #jake sully #toruk makto #enemies to lovers #soulmates

[topgunafterdark]

Banana Cream Pie

Robert ‘Bob’ Floyd x f!reader

Featuring a female reader working part time at the Hard Deck

Tags: smut, oral sex (female receiving), unprotected sex, couch sex, vaginal sex, horrible puns, silly but also hot

crossposted on ao3 under username mistressolivia

@lizzieann143

Well, here you are again: worked up, wet as hell, clothes hiked up and out of the way. At least this time you’re inside, though; specifically, you’re inside Bob’s temp housing on-base, and he’s making good on that promise to let you have a shot at dessert. You’re on his couch, on your back, arms over your head and gripping the outer seam of the farthest cushion so hard your nails catch on the cheap, textured fabric. Your panties are off, but everything else is on: your shirt and bra are pushed up, exposing your breasts, your skirt is inside out—Bob’s really into raunchy, clothes-on sex. The last three times were proof of that. Bob doesn’t fuck you naked in bed, he fucks you whenever and wherever he pleases, and somehow he keeps from getting caught every time. 

Currently, he’s got his face shoved between your thighs, sucking on your clit like if he doesn’t give it his all, he’s history. You have been given the critical task of holding onto his glasses while he goes to town; he could’ve just as easily put them on the coffee table, you think, but that isn’t fun, and what you’re finding out more and more is that Bob is all about fun—not the pointed, toothy kind of fun found with Bob’s peers: Hangman with his cocky swagger, Phoenix with her barbed, intelligent remarks that went over most people’s heads. 

No, Bob’s fun is a lot more subtle than that. He jokes, but quietly, and even when he jokes at other people’s expense, you know it’s all in good fun. You don’t have his glasses on your face because he thinks it’s hot, or because he wants to inconvenience you for his own sick amusement. It’s because he thinks the image is fucking hilarious, and he’s right.

You come hard, caterwauling like a fucking husky. Tomorrow, your neighbors are going to give you one hell of a side-eye. Today, right now, you latch onto Bob’s hair and nearly yank it out by the root. And he just keeps at it, licking and sucking until you try to scramble away because fuck, it’s too much, but also equally fuck, you want him to keep going forever. 

He rests his cheek right under your belly button after coming up for air, watching you as you try putting yourself back together again. 

“That’s our best-selling dessert,” he says without cracking a smile. “Banana cream pie.”

“Oh, my fucking god.” You want to smother him with a pillow. Also, marry him.

“That was the cream pie,” he says, and crawls on all fours up your body until his cock is resting firm and ready against your pubic bone. “Are you ready for the banana?”

“I’m going to kill you,” you say. You might be falling in love with him, though, and that’s fucked up. “Puns are an act of violence.”

“I don’t think you want to kill me,” he says. “I think you want me to stay.” And he takes you by both wrists, pinning them down into the cushions, and fucks your brains out until you can’t remember a time you and he were ever strangers.

#x reader #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun bob #top gun bob floyd #robert bob floyd #top gun fanfiction #female reader #bob x reader #bob floyd x reader

[dumbfinntales]

I recently completed a game that caught me completely by surprise. My Friendly Neighborhood. On the surface you might look at it and go “ugh another yucky mascot horror indie slop?” and trust me, when I initially saw the game I thought the same thing. I’ve fundamentally grown to dislike mascot horror, or kid friendly horror. So few games actually get it right, and most are really dumb. I’m not gonna name any so I don’t upset people, but imagine if you take Bob the builder. Okay, now he’s Frank the breaker and oh he has sharp teeth and red eyes. That’s how these types of games seem like to me.

So I kind of dismissed MFN when I first saw it. But lo and behold, a few days after the games release I saw a tweet on twitter of someone calling it a “survival horror” game and I couldn’t believe my eyes. I looked into it and by god, it really is one, and inspired by classic Resident Evil titles too. A fucking RE clone with muppets? I gave the game a chance and it blew me away. MFN is a genuinely fun and competent survival horror game with great atmosphere, fun combat and intriguing puzzles to solve.

The best part to me is that the game isn’t trying too hard to be scary. Sure it’s called survival “horror”, but it feels kinda light hearted and does parody of popular horror tropes like a bathtub with a body in it that you have to drain for an item. The puppets themselves are really charming and I enjoyed their demented rambles. My favorite line went something like “My friend recently really upset me. So you know what I did? I SHOVED them into the ground and STOMPED their face!” and they say all this in a very muppety voice which is hilarious. The point is that they’re not giving the puppets sharp teeth and demented lines like “I’ll eat your flesh” in order to be “scary”. The devs knew it would be impossible to make the muppets scary, so they leaned more on a parody.

Being inspired by classic RE games the game has a lot of familiar DNA like obscure puzzles, doors that require specific keys, backtracking, inventory management and even limited saves. Although on survival difficulty there was more than plenty of resources and save points so I never felt like I was running out of saves, or ammo or even health. The level design was also great and the world looped on itself in interesting ways and backtracking wasn’t as tedious and there was always some surprises waiting for you.

The game also seems plenty replayable and you can unlock different cheats by finding collectibles around the world. It isn’t overly long, which to me is a plus especially in a game that’s meant to be replayable, so I’ll definitely play through the game again on harder difficulties and maybe chase after some achievements.

But do I have anything negative to say? Well mainly nitpicks. The game could have benefited from more basic enemy types than just the puppets that chase after you and the small hand puppets. There’s also level specific “hazard” puppets, if you can call them that, but I dunno. It would have felt a little more interesting with some variation in what enemies you normally encounter. There’s also only two proper bosses in the game and the first one is way too easy as it goes down with just two grenades. I genuinely thought it had a second phase or I’d encounter it again, but nope. The last boss was alright, although really easy to avoid. At least it took a fight.

So yeah. How’s that for an indie surprise? There’s a lesson to be learned, never judge a book by its cover. But can you blame me for doubting? There’s way too many kiddie horror games trying to have deep lore and be all spooky and failing horribly. But MFN is a genuine gem, if you enjoy classic survival horror games do give it a try!

#my friendly neighborhood #a review type of deal

[swirlysmile]

Hey i see that ur request are open!!! I wanted to request super angsty thing if you’re okay with it. I wanted a rooster x reader, where the reader is bob’s sister and she get badly hurt because she protect rooster in the uranium mission, so the three of them fell to the enemy territory and when mav and roos wanted to stole the f14 she also stole a plane but got shot at a vital part of her body but made it. She got back to the base but didn’t realize she’s hurt and lose a lot of blood to the point of almost dying until rooster was asking her to come down from her plane and rooster was losing his mind when he sees the bloods. Please make it super angsty where they have to resurrect her in front of roos, i wanted that suspense and angst. Thank you sm🤍🤍🤍

a little switched up, but the idea is the same! i’m not super great at writing angst, so let me know what you think of it.

thanks for the request, i hope i did your idea justice. i have some writers block so requests are taking me a bit longer, sorry!

word count: 3.5k

warnings; somewhat graphic mentions of blood and injuries, ends sort of happily

Conversation

“Bradshaw, as I live and breathe.” 

You’re off to the side, opting to watch Hangman and Rooster argue while Bob makes a miserable attempt at cleaning up the drink he spilled. They haven’t noticed you yet, and you’re deciding to make a game out of it. You straighten out your service khakis and play a game of rock paper scissors with Bob before they even think to look your way.

Honestly, it’s kind of hilarious.

You’re more outgoing than Bob, you’d have no problem revealing yourself. It’d be pretty funny to see their faces when you tell them you’d been there the whole time tomorrow, though.

“Well, what do we have here? Another Floyd?” Hangman says. He’s poking at your nametag and you smile uncomfortably, opting not to say anything. Bob is practically thrown a cue stick, and you’re trying not to laugh at his slight distress.

“Hands off my sister, Hangman.” Bob says, a little sheepishly, and Hangman drops your nametag that he was fiddling with. The bell rings for the third time tonight, so you’ve sort of caught on.

“Overboard!” The bar chants, and you don’t really have a great view of the man that Hangman and Coyote are throwing out. When the keys begin pounding, you follow your fellow pilots over to the piano.

What a night.

The next morning, you’re glad that Bob stopped you from having that last drink. You quickly do your hair and rush out of the military issued housing to make it on base in time. 

You slide into an empty seat in the back, Bob already being next to Phoenix. Rooster strolls up next to you, making it in in the nick of time before they call for attention. 

Honestly, you were expecting to see someone more renowned, certainly much less, what’s the word? Notorious. Rooster's friendly grin shifted into more of a hostile scowl, his distaste for Maverick being made known. You glance over at him in confusion, but the dull thud of an instruction manual hitting the wastebasket makes you snap your head back towards the front.

“So does your enemy.” At this point you wish you had been listening because everything coming out of Captain Mitchell’s mouth is concerning. 

“Good morning aviators! This is your captain speaking,” 

You’re up in the air right now while Maverick explains the rules. If you squinted and tilted your head, maybe you’d have a chance. 

Thanks to Payback and Fanboy’s big mouths though, Maverick is going all out when it comes to his already-fancy-flying. You end up back on the tarmac, cursing them for the 200 push-ups you have to do. 

“Lucky son of a bitch!” You say, lightly punching Bob’s arm when he and Phoenix get out of the air. They narrowly avoided the punishment because of Roosters pride. 

He’s out on the tarmac now, doing his push-ups. 

“I’m gonna go try and figure out his problem,” Phoenix says. 

You see them talking for a second, or moreso see Rooster sitting while Phoenix awkwardly squats. 

“No luck.” She shares when she returns, not giving you the full story, she’s wiping dust onto her pants. You groan.

You’re having a great time getting to know your colleagues over the course of the week, even enjoying some time with Hangman. He’s not so insufferable once you get to know him, and you’re thanking Coyote who begged you to give Jake a second chance.

Then, you move on from dogfighting and onto flying the course and everything falls to pieces again. 

“You just don’t get it. Either a man flies like Maverick here, or a man does not come home. No offense.” Hangman grins at Rooster, glancing at you and Phoenix.

“Yet somehow, you always manage.” Bob says, a tight lipped smile gracing his face. You’re about ready to tackle him yourself, and it had all been so good just 5 minutes ago, but Rooster beats you to it the second Hangman mentions his dad. Mavericks old RIO.

Nick ‘Goose’ Bradshaw.

“I’m cool, I’m cool!” Hangman shrugs everyone’s hands off of him, but Rooster still needs to be held back.

Well, that answers a question. 

Not by who should have answered it, but it was known now nonetheless. Rooster did not enjoy the looks of sympathy he was receiving, and the second you were dismissed he made a quick escape, avoiding any further conversation. You’re absolutely livid with Hangman, and the rest of the group is pretty upset with him too. You even hear Coyote say “Too far, man.” and murmurs of agreement are thrown out among the group as well.

At first, you think Maverick is crazy. It’s hot, and you feel pretty sweaty, but after a few minutes? You’re having the time of your life. Your hands are shaking while you hold the football. “Where do I run?” You ask, a little too loudly and Bob throws his hand up, pointing to the left. “Thanks, Bob!” Hangman and Rooster come flying towards you, and your legs start to move. 

The group erupts in cheers, and Maverick seems even more sane. This team building exercise was doing wonders for you, for Hangman. Hell, even for Rooster and Maverick. Rooster actually helped Maverick up, and the sight makes your heart swell a little. 

“Keep it up, Halo!” You call, taking a sip of your water. These are the people you’re starting to see as family. Sure, it’s quick, but being on a team for an incredibly difficult and dangerous mission brings people together. Rooster joins you, twisting off his bottle cap. 

“Hey,” 

“Hi Rooster.” You say, and with a minute of awkward silence, you set your water bottle down and run back to the game. 

A few more minutes and you’re sweating your ass off, and the only thing that would make this a little better is some frolicking in the ocean. One of the many perks of being stationed in California. 

You splash Bob, and he makes it his life’s mission to drown you. 

“Siblings,” Phoenix sighs. Rooster watches with curiosity. He never had the luxury of a sibling, someone who’d make him feel less alone. He’d always had his mom, and sometimes Maverick, and occasionally Ice and Sarah, and it sounds so weird to say that they didn’t understand him. They tried their hardest to play and entertain him, but it wasn’t the same. He wasn’t exactly the most popular kindergartener, always talking about planes and such, so he missed out on that too. Luckily, it got better as he got older. 

“Don’t just stand there, Bradshaw!” He hears from you, a huge splash of water hitting him. He slides his aviators back on and joins the rest of the team in the water, ready to take revenge. 

Everything was great for a little while, minus the not so great parts. Like Admiral Kazansky’s funeral, a man who you’d never had the pleasure of personally knowing. The aftermath was crazy, with Maverick stealing a plane. Then, your mission got bumped up, and it was terrible.

Everyone was right back to being at each other’s throats, specifically Hangman and Rooster. Yay team. Since the mission is bumped up, so is training.

“But nobody has successfully completed the course!” 

“Nevertheless, we have to move on.” 

You had a bad feeling about this settling into your stomach. Like some sort of void that everything your body uses has dropped into, you feel like an empty husk, like you’re spectating yourself. Especially after the climb out. You missed the shot, much to your dismay, but god the force. Maverick wasn’t lying when he said that your lungs would feel compressed. You aren’t even shocked when moments after you get down, Coyote passes out.

Or at least you don’t feel shocked, but you do feign it. Of course you’re concerned, but you almost passed out yourself. 

“Shit, I’m going after h-” Maverick says, and the comms cut out. You don’t know what’s going on, your hands are shaking a little bit. So, Rooster grabbed your right hand, on instinct, giving it a little squeeze. He always did that for Carole when he was little, before she started crying, her hands would shake a little bit. Even when he felt like crying himself.

Then, the reality of it all settled. One of his friends was going down, and he didn’t know whether or not he was okay because of a stupid malfunction. 

“m’ okay!” Coyote says, comms cutting back in before going out again, and he thinks that it’s an insane stroke of luck.

“Bird strike!” Suddenly the comms are crystal clear, and your head starts to spin. You grip Rooster’s hand tighter than you were before because, Bob. All of Phoenix’s ramblings about emergency protocol are lost in your head because, Bob. 

“Phoenix, you can't save it!” Mav says, and that resonated with you. “Eject, eject!” 

Your heart is pounding, practically beating your chest, and then Maverick announces that he saw parachutes. There’s still a chance Bob isn’t okay, but you’d take a chance over knowing he most definitely was gone. 

Your hand relaxes a little bit, so Rooster lets go. He didn’t know how thankful you were for his gesture, but no way in hell were you going to tell him.

“They’re alright Rooster, just being kept in the hospital overnight for observation.” You hear through the door, and maybe it’s not your place, it’s definitely not your place, but you’re curious.

“Why did you do it?” 

“Wha-“

“Why did you stand in my way!” 

You can practically feel the wince that Maverick is wearing. 

“You weren’t ready.” 

“Ready to what? To fly like you?” 

“No!” Maverick snaps, and you think that you’ve heard enough. The brisk walk down the hall feels much longer than it actually is due to the shouting.

It’s hard to hear your family fight.

The next day, everything is relatively normal, minus the glares that Rooster shoots Maverick. He hadn’t done that for a whopping week and a half. How do you even bring that up? Hey Rooster, bud, I have to be honest. I was eavesdropping yesterday, you good? 

Definitely not.

So, you didn’t. Didn’t ask about it, didn’t think about it, didn’t pay it any attention. “You okay?” Bob asks with worry. Your face is scrunched up in a mixture of confusion and sorrow, and you send him a measly thumbs up in confirmation. Some things you just can’t speak about.

The next day, your head was spinning. Goosebumps adorned your arms, and you weren’t so sure vomit wouldn’t decorate your uniform. Today was the day, would you be picked, would any of your family be left to die? It was terrifying.

“Phoenix and Bob,” Your heart drops a little knowing he’d be out there, “Payback and Fanboy.” 

“For my wingmen, Rooster and [callsign]” Bob shoots you a look, and you’re not sure if he's pissed or excited for you. You and Rooster share this glance, one that’s like Holy shit? This is happening? You hadn’t talked to him much since Bob had to eject, nerves getting the better of you. 

“Good luck.” Maverick says.

You’re sitting in the common room in the carrier, probably far past the acceptable hours, getting into your own head. Psyching yourself out. Rooster could relate, so he steps out of his room using water as an excuse. 

“Hey,”

“Hi Rooster, what are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same thing.”

“Touché.”

He snorts and grabs a cup, heading towards the tap. 

“I’m thinking a bit too much.” You say, twirling the class ring on your finger. “About this mission, I’m actually scared.” He takes his cup of water and comes to plop down next to you on the couch. 

“Me too.” It sounds more like a confession than anything, than a comfort. 

Then, he does it again. He sees the shake in your hands, puts down his cup, and grabs your hand. The one closest to him.

“We can do this,” He affirms.

“We can do this.” And you go to bed more confident than you’ve been in a while. 

You step out of your room, trudging through the narrow halls while you attempt to get to the runway. Everything is basically set up, you’re just being re-briefed and then thrown out there.

“Give ‘em hell,” Hangman says to Rooster. Rooster is surprised that Hangman didn’t come up and harass him for Mavericks' choice, it’s as if they have some unspoken pact now. 

“Bob, be safe.” 

“You too,”

“Don’t do anything stupid,”

“Tell that to Phoenix.” 

“I won’t!” She calls over the wind. 

“I love you,” You say to Bob, then it’s like clockwork. You “saddle up” and prepare for possibly the hardest mission of your life. 

“Good luck,” Rooster calls out to you just before you climb into the cockpit. You send him a half assed salute, nerves taking over. 

You felt like you were on autopilot, doing everything asked of you when it was asked of you. You’re flying behind Payback and Fanboy as a last resort in case Rooster missed. “Speed up!” They say, and when the plane in front of you starts to move, you clutch the yoke a little tighter and follow. It’s underwhelming to hear “We made contact!” and even “Smoke on the air!” On Maverick and Phoenix's end, even if you’re worried for Bob.

“Dammit, this laser isn’t working!”

“That’s it, I’m dropping in blind”

You’re close behind, but not too close, so when the huge explosion happens you’re still climbing. “Success!” You speed up even more, rushing to enter Coffin Corner. 

“Smoke in the air!” 

Once it’s you being targeted, you become much more aware of your surroundings. You start effectively communicating, the shock of the situation wearing off.

“Shit, I’m out of flares!” Rooster says. Maverick immediately switches course, his plane getting blown up in the process.

“I didn’t see a parachute!” You're still trying to shake some SAMs, but the second that more are on Rooster's tail, you’re rushing to help him. Maybe it’s stupid, it’s definitely stupid, but you cant watch him go down too. “[Callsign] no!” Bob shouts, but it’s too late. You’ve already intercepted, taking the likely fatal blow. “No,” 

The last thing you remember is pulling the ejection handles a little too late, winding up too close to the crash and passing out.

The second you wake up, there’s a searing pain in your wrist and ribs -but you conclude that they’re definitely not broken. You’re bleeding through your flight suit, pieces of shrapnel impaling you in various places. God did it hurt, but you’re not a pilot for nothing, so you brush it off as best you can. 

“Hello?” You utter, attempting to see if your comms were still working, and when you receive no reply you sigh. It’s likely they won’t send a rescue chopper for another few days, if they even decide to. They lost two pilots already, and Cyclone definitely wouldn’t risk more. 

“We can’t circle back,”

“Rooster, they’re gone.” Bob says, holding back some tears. He’s trying to keep a level head, but Rooster won’t say anything. “Rooster!” Payback calls the second Rooster turns his plane around, but his mind is made up. 

He’s going back for Mav, he’s going back for you.

Maverick is contemplating his life decisions, two life threatening crashes in the span of two months? Maybe he needs to reevaluate his piloting, but his thoughts are cut short when the whir of an enemy aircraft approaches. He’s dropping all his gear in an attempt to run, his radar, his parachute, everything. Maverick hops over a fallen tree, ducking down to avoid the shots being fired. When the aircraft follows him, he thinks he’s done for. And he didn’t even make up with Bradley. 

It’s cold, and it hurts to move. You’re shaking with every step, but if you’re correct and not hallucinating from blood loss, you saw something go down -or up- in flames. It’s dangerous to have hope, but hope may be the only thing saving you now.

“What were you thinking?!” Mav shouts, equal parts annoyance and anger. 

“You told me not to think!” Rooster yells back with just as much ferocity. They stand there for a second before he awkwardly clears his throat.

“It’s good to see you.”

“It’s good to see you too,” Rooster chokes out. 

There’s a thud in the snow alerting both Maverick and Rooster. They turn their heads to see you fall into the snow, and Rooster is rushing to get to you.

“[Callsign]! Are you okay?” 

“Just peachy, Rooster.” You cough a little bit while he pulls you up.

Maverick immediately gets to work, doing his best to temporarily patch the wounds you procured.

“All done, now let’s go.” 

You’re still a bit woozy, and definitely need some better patchwork, but that will have to wait until you’re out of this hellhole. You’re sitting on a ledge, staring down at the blown up runway. There are two planes, and Maverick has the bright idea of stealing them.

“Mav, no, this is not a good idea!”

“Best one we got,” He says 

“She can’t even fly!” 

You sigh and roll up the sleeves of your flight suit. “I’m trained for this Rooster, we’re trained for this. I can do it,” Your voice quivers a little bit, as if you're unsure of yourself. Maverick runs off anyways, leaving Roosters' protests in the dust. You follow at more of a hobble, and that’s when Rooster decides to go. 

Before you hop into the plane, you try fiddling with your suit, hoping it will make the comms work again. It doesn’t, so you’re flying with minimal communication.

“See you on the other side,” You nod in appreciation. 

It’s harder than you thought it would be, trying to follow Maverick’s lead without the guidance of his voice, but you’re the best of the best. If anyone can do it, it’s you, and the graduates selected for this mission. Even with impaired judgement, you’re following along. Down in the canyon, you’re being shot at. You narrowly avoid any bullets hitting your plane, but Maverick and Rooster aren’t so lucky. When they finally shoot the plane down, the pilot ejects.

Then you race out of there, being met by even more hostile jets. Your consciousness is bordering on loss, but you’re trying your hardest to push through. The sound of shots being fired, at you, is what snaps you out of it. The pain of being shot a few more times doesn’t really register, you’re already aching all over.

Then, Hangman saves the day. You’re assuming he says something cocky, but without working comms, you don’t know. It’s just you, the roar of the engine, and your thoughts. 

The second you land your plane, you take notice of the celebration crowding Maverick and Rooster. You hop out, and the second you do the weight of your injuries hits you, and you drop. 

“[Callsign]!” Both Bob and Rooster are shouting, Maverick is trying to find a medic, and Phoenix is standing there in shock. Your eyes drift to a close, the world around you fading into nothingness. 

Maverick brings a medic back onto the runway, they don’t even try to bring you down to the medical wing. It’s too urgent to wait that much longer, so the man drops down to his knees to make sure you’re still alive.

“She’s not breathing!” He says, and Rooster's head is spinning. He’s pinching himself while they try to save you, like this is all some kind of sick dream that he’s having. One that’s going to mess him up for the real mission, but the pinches aren’t doing anything. It’s real, scarily real. 

Blood is literally covering your flight suit, and he wants to say “Great Mav! You did a bang up job!” but he knows it’s not the older pilot's fault. He knows that it’s his fault. 

Even Hangman is staring, in a mixture of awe and worry. Phoenix is hugging Bob, having snapped out of her daze while Fanboy is running around trying to help. 

“She’s breathing,” The medic says, sounding sorrowful. “but she’s unstable, get a stretcher up here!”  

Rooster swears it was the scariest moment in his life, seeing you dragged away on that stretcher before he had the chance to have a real, good, and not awkward conversation with you.

Hours later, and there’s still no news. Rooster wishes it was anything but anxiety swelling within him. Pride? Totally, sign him up. He’s sure Bob is feeling just as bad, if not worse. Poor guy is literally shaking in the corner.

“She’s fine!” Maverick bursts into the room, the loud slam of the door making the group of pilots jump. “She’s out of surgery, and she’s alive. [Callsign] won’t be awake for a few more hours, but she’s alive.” He sounds exasperated and exhausted and excited all at the same time. 

You bet that he was in there right as you woke up, second only to Bob.

“Hey,” 

“Hi Rooster.” 

He’s holding your hand, the same way he did when Bob went down, and the feeling makes your heart race a little bit. 

“Can I kiss you?” He says, and the nod he receives is all he needs.

So much for conversation.

#rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley rooster bradshaw x reader #bradley ‘rooster’ bradshaw x reader #rooster #bradley bradshaw #rooster bradshaw #bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley ‘rooster’ bradshaw #top gun #top gun maverick #top gun fic #top gun maverick fic #swirly writes

[cuprohastes]

Lunch In Space

Part 1

Wherein we are introduced to two of our main characters, the perils of interspecies cafeterias and the alternate uses of dog jumpers, and the Narrator is too self-obsessed to introduce themselves properly

4am, in the vast darkness of space, the lightless void that's darker than the stygian depths.

Apart from the stars. They're actually pretty bright. Famously so come to think of it. Also all the lights on the station, so you can look at it and admire it and spot any fresh new exciting holes that have appeared.

And if you're on shift, like me, use those handly lights to find the cafeteria and very carefully pick through the offerings because believe me, while Yarrick won't kill you, your body will basically say 'What the heck?' and treat it like a nice big plate of Silicone jelly and you will be experiencing a whole new and exciting set of sensations, and hey, sometimes you just have to clutch the toilet seat and scream a bit: We've all been there.

So I get my nice human safe food, and an extra roll of purple stuff that's not bread but it might as well be, and relocate my heiny to the big table by the window, the one that's always a bit chilly which is why me and Atrix and Atrix are usually the only ones who sit there.

I mean Atrix does because she's comfortable with a little extra cooling, and Atrix is there because he's not driving, he's just along for the ride.

"Yo." I say to my good buddy, the giant purple kangaroo dinosaur. She gives me a Yo back and dual finger guns.

Atrix the pocket lizard sticks his snout out and makes grabby paws at the roll.

I slide it over to his wifey, the purple lizard woman with the colour changing face and a degree in Astromechanics (Also horticulture, Art History and apparently, Interspecies erotica).

"You're over feeding him." Big Atrix says. Small Atrix grakkles. He has opinions and he really wants that bun, but then again if he gets too fat he has to move out, change gender and start paying taxes.

I also know that Godzilla here always skimps on the husband food because she knows I'll swing by with a little something something for her pocket hubby.

"Yeah well, someone has to be the fun Aunt." I say cheerfully. You're always the Aunt with the Atrix, regardless of gender.

I settle in, to eat a lovely meal of... what appears to be chicken flavoured... it's... hmm. Well, it's chicken flavoured and guaranteed not to cause anything to go a funny colour and fall off. It actually tastes great, but I'd describe it as being yes, a thing.

"So," I say around the food flavoured... stuff, "Picked a good solid Traditional Human Name yet?". My friend bobs her head again: Practicing her human physical emotes.

-This should be good. Atrix are good people but they don't have spoken names. They have a word that means 'I'm gonna show you name' then they change their face colours like a cuttlefish. They literally just turn into another person for a moment: This drives most species nuts.

Humans find it hilarious. Atrix can see the funny side. Humans and Atrix get along a little too well for everyone else's comfort and That's The Way We Like It™️.

Big n' Purple thinks about it, then says, "I was thinking... Gondolier Dottirsdottir, or maybe Luminal Effervescence."

OK so the Atrix tend to go for names that are just really fun to say. hence the Secretary General of the Combined Human-Atrix Interstellar Survey, a really big female with as much or more gravitas as a class two black hole - a very serious pocket pal all 'round - being named Pingbing O'Candyfloss.

I consider it. "People will call you Gondy, or Lumy." I point out to her as she feeds purple... bread-y stuff... to the iguana-sized male that lives in her belly pouch. He grakkles at me. He's a sociable little guy, quite chatty, I just have no idea what he's saying. Gondy grackles back and he does Upsies arms.

"Gondy. Ahm-hum. That sounds good. Gondy." she says trying it on. I can see she's definitely enjoying the mouth sound.

She hauls her hubbins out of her pouch, which is covered by her overalls and a big apron flap so he can sleep or play games on her phone.

"Did you... put him in one of those dog jumpers?" I ask as she puts her guy on the table. He looks smug and shows off. It's a small, chihuahua sized Christmas sweater. It's currently May, or close enough. But I'm not going to harsh his mellow. The little dude's obviously stoked to be a fashionista.

Gondy bobs her head looking pleased. "I'm thinking he should be Raxyplank Magellan. Raxy's a cute name." she says.

Raxy looks up and says "Rax!" around a mouthful of hubby food. Well, I can't fault that. At least he gets a name he can say.

For an Atrix male, he's pretty adventurous - He'll talk to people and even come out and walk around if he can keep one eye on Gondy.

Traditionally, or "Back in the day" - Several tens of thousands of years ago, until an Atrix got big enough to be safe, there was a good chance that something would camper up and make a meal of them.

So they have a general resistance to being out in the open, where it's cold and there might be cool alien eagles or space-lizard foxes.

Luckily when they get big enough they develop pouches and to they pick a male out and carry them around for safety and to have someone to talk to and hold shiny rocks (I'm a bit fuzzy on the finer details), so you almost always see two Atrix, even if one of them is usually hiding.

And now Raxy is hanging out with us like a regular little dude and getting crumbs on his ugly Christmas sweater. It is in all ways a pretty nice moment.

Anyway that's about when the station blew up...

#humans are space orcs #Atrix #lunch in space

[goldendoodlerlockerlove]

who is your favorite bob's burgers character? what's your favorite aspect about them?? what's your LEAST FAVORITE??

Thank you so much @br1ghtestlight for giving me this ask!! 😭❣️ Just for the future, though, if anyone wants to give me an ask, it’ll have to be through this account, because any ask given through my main account disappears because I’m still Shadowbanned and Tumblr is mean 😒

But onto the actual question!! Well, Light, you already know my absolute favorite is 1,000% our precious baby boy, Gene. I think my favorite aspect about him is that he has some of the best lines in the show humor-wise, but he has a great deal of depth hidden underneath the surface. He’s genuinely an incredibly talented musician (even though he and show claims he only knows a few chords, come on, he’s actually super talented) and he’s such a sweet person. He doesn’t enjoy pranking people simply because it makes them confused and uncomfortable. He just wants people to be happy!! 🥺

He also has a bigger body type which is rarely commented on and he has a love of food which is super relatable to me (I just love food, pffffft). And the headcanons of him being Genderfluid gives me an insane amount of Serotonin. It just makes me insanely happy. As a Genderfluid person, it makes me feel seen and represented, even though he’s not canonically Genderfluid. Just seeing him be unapologetically himself is incredibly lovely.

Now, because there are just so many characters I love, I must list a second favorite. And that would be Bob!! Previously, I’ve said Linda, and don’t get me wrong, I still love her. She’s hilarious and amazing and truly the best wife (🎶 Best of Wives and Best of Women 🎶) but there’s just something about Bob that’s so relatable to me. He’s always tired but always tries his best. Not to mention that his passion for cooking and feeding people is just so sweet 🥹 He loves making food for people and having food bring people together!! It’s so lovely.

Bob is also super Introverted which I relate to very hard. He has a hard time making connections with other people, and has a tight-knit circle (AKA his family) that he prefers spending his time with. And he sometimes has difficulty talking to people without coming across as weird, which I also relate to. Plus, his little quirks are so endearing, like talking to inanimate objects and pretending they’re alive. And getting so hilariously excited about Thanksgiving 🤣

And Bob and Gene together brings one of the most underrated and sweetest relationships in the Belcher family. Their Father/Son relationship is always so adorable to see. The Laser-Inth will forever be my favorite Bob and Gene episode, and probably solidified these two as my favorites.

As for my least favorite, at first I was going to say that’s difficult, because I love almost every character in the show for one reason or another. But then I realized what the obvious choices are: Gloria and Al. They are the absolute worst. Linda deserves good, doting parents, and these two are the complete opposite of that in every way. Sure, maybe they were slightly better when Linda and Gayle were younger, but definitely not now. The Terminilator II: Terminals of Endearment really solidified just how awful they truly are.

Linda dropped everything to help them at the airport, even forcing Bob to close the restaurant for the rest of the day. Then the entire family went on a wild goose chase trying to track down both Gloria and Al, who somehow kept escaping from their line of sight. Only to find out that these two could’ve bought Al’s cream at the airport themselves the whole time. Not to mention the fact that they found out that Gloria just stole Bob’s charger and refuses to admit it. They keep making excuses for their horrible parenting and Linda just has to deal with it, which is wildly unfair.

Plus, Gloria once told Linda that they aren’t the type of people who build things?? Who says that to their daughter?? These two frustrate me to no end. Definitely the worst characters in the show, no contest.

Tina gets an honorable mention simply because of how relatable she is and how sweet she is. She just has such a kind heart like Gene (except when it comes to Tammy ☠️). But that’s okay, because Jimmy Jr. loves it when she’s mean 😌

As a treat for asking me this, here’s an image I found of the Burger Babies in Disney dresses!! Credit goes to whoever on Pinterest made this lovely image:

Also, because I need to be a gremlin every time I mention Gene, I’m going to promote Geneuary again, which begins on January 8!! Hype hype hype hype hype—

#asks #doodler’s daydreams #this was SUCH a fun question thank you!! #i saw a comment once saying that bob is the most dad ever and gene is the most son ever #if that doesn’t sum them up i don’t know what does 🤣 #their relationship is lovely and i could spend all day talking about it and just them as characters individually #and i could also spend all day talking about how much i hate gloria and al because they’re the worst #linda (and even gayle) deserve so much better tbh #bobs burgers #geneuary2024

[literallymechanical]

Hi. Please write the solarpunk dystopia book. I’d read that in a heartbeat. However, if you don’t have the time, could I bother you for some book recommendations?? I’ve been on a sci-fi space semi-body horror alien kick (children of time, children of ruin, to sleep in a sea of stars) and I’m needing a new one to sink my teeth into. I think I’d like to move a little closer to the horror genera without reading an actual horror book, but anything dystopian, sci-fi, and plant/space/alien related would be cool! Any thoughts?

Space horror isn't my usual genre, nor is horror in general, but here are a few that come close. It can be hard to judge where the line sits between "horror" and "horror-adjacent," so I'm going to err on the side of just recommending a few horrifying things I've enjoyed:

Roadside Picnic, by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky, 1972. Old-school soviet scifi alien horror, and the inspiration for an entire genre of fiction – "people go and explore a Weird Zone where reality is borked and bad things happen." Stalker is a direct homage, the Southern Reach trilogy, etc. I read a translation by Antonia Bouis.

The Laundry Files, by Charles Stross, 2004 – present. This one is a longer series, the first book is the Atrocity Archives. A very modern twist on Lovecraft — bureaucratic horror. The "Laundry" is the unofficial name for the British secret service that handles the occult. Necromancy is a field of theoretical computer science pioneered by Alan Turing, and you can summon Nyarlathotep with a well-crafted raytracing algorithm. The protagonist is the department IT guy, Bob Oliver Francis Howard. If you get the pun in the name you're older than me. Later books deal with the occult implications of Brexit.

There Is No Antimemetics Division, by qntm, 2020. Originally published as a serial on the SCP Wiki, later re-edited and compiled it into a standalone novel. Requires no prior knowledge of the SCP Foundation to enjoy. This is the cosmic horror that Lovecraft wishes he could have written. Can be read for free on the SCP Wiki, but I recommend buying a copy to support the author. Bonkers amazing, pedal-to-the-metal, goes from "quirky high-concept scifi" to "oh god what are they going to do to him with that chisel" real fast.

American Elsewhere, by Robert Jackson Bennet, 2013. It's a bit obscure and might be harder to find, but it's one of the best books I've read in years. Scifi horror-thriller that gets both splashily cosmic and laser-tight. Our protagonist comes to a small town in New Mexico that doesn't appear on any maps to find closure after her abusive father's death, and gets tangled up in horrifying secrets. Nasty, achingly heartbreaking, grand, and takes its time in the most delicious way. The author writes mediocre YA fantasy now, and that's a damn shame.

John Dies At The End (and its sequels), by David Wong, 2007 – 2022. Comedy-horror about shitty paranormal investigators. The comedy is genuinely hilarious and the horror is genuinely horrifying – closer to the cosmic- than body-horror, though it does get up-close and personal. One of the few comedy-horror stories I've read that convincingly pulls off both.

Bloodsucking Fiends: A Love Story, by Christopher Moore, 1995. A raunchy vampire story, set against the sobering backdrop of the AIDS epidemic in San Francisco. I have no idea if this actually counts as horror but I think more people should read Christopher Moore. The tonal whiplash between goofy vampire sex, night-shift convenience store workers bowling with frozen turkeys in the aisles, and the trauma of young men dying from love and dirty needles, is expertly crafted.

I could keep going but this list is already getting a bit long. Hey followers et al., you should add more recommendations, especially ones that are actual space horror!

#fiction

[the-blue-fairie]

My favorite Scrooge will always be Ted's Dad from Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

Hal Landon Jr., who played Ted's dad in the Bill and Ted movies, played Scrooge in our local stage production of A Christmas Carol for over 40 years.

He hung up the scarf in 2019, with Richard Doyle (who in many productions previously has played The Ghost of Christmas Present) taking on the role. Tragically, I was unable to attend the production this year, but I'm sure Doyle is a worthy successor. I'll miss him as Christmas Present though.

This post, though, is about Landon, and in all my years of coming to see the play, I grew to love him. He was able to bring a great humanity and weight to Scrooge during the ghost visitations, especially at Fan's arrival and the final scenes with Belle, while at the same time being hilarious at just the right moments.

The final scene with Belle, in this version, is set against the stark shadows of her father's death. His casket is before them, his body not yet taken to a pauper's grave. There's a line in this version that always cuts me like a knife, where Belle somberly intones, "In death as in life, those with the least must wait the longest." When the young Scrooge tries to use this as a rationale for his own avarice (to, shall we say, "admit it for [his] factious purposes, and make it worse," there is an aching sincerity to Belle's reminder to him that "rich or poor, we all end up like this."

I'll miss the delightful energy Landon brought to the more humorous moments in the show as well. For example, when, after the ghost visitations and after spending most of the production in his nightclothes, he dresses to go to Fred's, he exclaims, "My pants! I've missed my paaants!" I'm not doing it justice. You had to be there to here the delivery!

Likewise, in the play, Fred gives Scrooge a gift that he ignores until Christmas morning. When he finally opens it, he sees it is a scarf and Landon would always squeal, "Was ever a scarf SOOO REEEEEED?"

I can't begin to describe how delightful it always was.

Likewise, this is one of those versions where Scrooge comes directly to the Cratchits to tell them that he'll raise Bob's salary and hand out presents (before heading off to Fred's and apologizing he can't stay), there's this GREAT moment between Bob and Mrs. Cratchit.

Mrs. Cratchit: ...How did he know all the children's names?

Bob Cratchit: ...I DON'T KNOWWW!

Also, this a small thing, but in this version, I love how they give some humanity to old Joe (you know? "I always give too much to ladies. It’s a weakness of mine"?) in this version. We see him at the start, bantering about Scrooge in a relatable way, so when we see him with Christmas Yet to Come, he feels less like an ominous threat to Scrooge and more like... just someone who is poor making a living through not exactly honest means.

Anyway, I hope to see the new Scrooge in the coming years, but I just wanted to give a shout-out to this production and the Scrooge closest to my heart. Wassail!

@ariel-seagull-wings @princesssarisa @thealmightyemprex @toasted-pirate @brokenwild

#a dickens december #a christmas carol #hal landon jr. #bill and ted #bill and ted's excellent adventure

[anhed-nia]

Is there a subgeneric name for that type of black comedy about someone with zero personal boundaries who can only be repelled through abject cruelty (if at all)? Movies like WHAT ABOUT BOB? and THE CABLE GUY may come to mind, but Mike Leigh's GROWN-UPS is way more intense than either of those. I might also appreciate it more because in the standard version of this kind of narrative, the interloper is portrayed as intrusive yet basically sort of innocent, whereas the person defending themselves and their territory is shown to be curmudgeonly and uptight, and deserving of a hard lesson about love or something. This is totally maddening to me as someone who needs a lot of personal space, who doesn't like to be touched, and who enjoys her own company. People who like a lot of contact just can't imagine this, and often when I tell someone not to hug me, they insist on it anyway like they're doing me a big favor, as if I just don't know what's good for me or I'm too shy to ask for what I truly want (which is for someone to mash their body all over me while grunting and sighing obviously). Anyway, GROWN-UPS is a movie that makes a hilarious and terrifying ordeal out of the need to defend your own boundaries, without insinuating that you should just give in and let people do whatever they hell they want to you because cherishing your own privacy is somehow the same as rejecting other people.

I got a similar charge out of THE BANSHEES OF INISHERIN, although that movie is a little more ambiguous on the subject. But don't even get me started on movies like THE STATION AGENT, where someone who is perfectly happy in their solitude has their privacy violated over and over again until they're bullied into submission by extroverts who think everyone should be just like them. Shiver.

#mike leigh