#the way i have been working on this on/off since january 😭😭 at this point im so done i just want it finished and out there

[leqclerc]

Charles and Seb: the crackvid™

#charles leclerc #sebastian vettel #sebchal #the way i have been working on this on/off since january 😭😭 at this point im so done i just want it finished and out there #and what better day to post than april fools!!!! even included a disclaimer so hopefully people won't take this too seriously but 🙃 #anyway this is my humble offering for my fellow seb and charles enjoyers in these trying times 😩👊🏻😻🤧 #also dont repost this outside of tumblr fr. if i find this floating around somewhere outside of f1blrsphere istg 😒😡🤬 #this should go without saying buuut lbr im gonna wake up one day to find it all over twt or something which 🙃 #strotegy & brazil 2019 feat camila cabello & wolf like me are probably my personal fave parts tbh. even if the last one is scarily serious #* #*mine: vid #*mine: video

[jemgirl86]

I know something you don’t know, and I got something to tell ya 🎶🎶😭

Like, again lol, I’d never presume to speak for everybody, but I’ve been thinking about it since my post the other day, why SamBucky has fallen out of the top 100, why writers aren’t writing. I mean, last year I posted a fic every month except January, sometimes multiple fics a month.

And I know my break isn’t due to their “divorce era,” because a couple I’m shipping being out of each other’s orbit has never made a difference to me, just ask any couple I’ve ever shipped in my life lol. And it’s not because I’m done with the MCU, because my buddy and I were just discussing the hate that Phase 4 gets the other day, and I literally pulled up the Phase 4 Wikipedia page and took a look, and there was only one project in there that I just didn’t care for. The MCU has always had some projects I loved, some I liked just fine, and some I thought were basically average, and that’s how I feel about Phase 4 (I could write 1000 words about the unrealistic and silly hate newer MCU projects get, and how it makes no sense logically, because the MCU was never 100% bangers, but I’ll spare you lol), so it’s not like I’m suffering from “superhero fatigue” 🤢 (I loath that phrase)

Nope, I think it’s the feedback. Not even really the lack of feedback at this point, because engagement on here and ao3 started drying up in the middle of last year or so, and I was still churning stories out. Nah, it’s the type of feedback. People have really lost their minds in comment sections this past year. Not even just in mine, even though mine have been off the hook lol.

Sometimes I’ll be reading a fic, not even always a fic I like, I’ve seen it in fics I loved and fics I’m literally about to close because they’re not my cup of tea — but I’ll be reading a fic and go to scroll the comment section because I’m nosy lol, and I’ll see the most out of pocket, obnoxious, outrageously rude comment I’ve ever seen in my life.

We all dislike fics. Hell, I’ve seen some doozies myself, but you’re not supposed to tell the author about it in the comment section. I mean, a negative comment on a fic on here or ao3 is for like a truly exceptional circumstance, (even then I’d just close the fic…), not because you just didn’t like it… or because it wasn’t what you thought it was going to be… or because the author didn’t write a particular character the way you headcanon them. That’s nuts.

And if the fic truly pisses you off, I get that, boy do I get that lol. Even then though, you’re just supposed to vague post about it and be shady on here… not comment on the author’s actual work. Like if you hate my fic, then by all means, vaguely complain about it on here like a normal person, or DM your friend about it, but don’t give me a 2 star review in my comment section because I used a trope you don’t like.

Oh… and why are people airing their grievances about other things in the comments of a fic? Be on ao3, commenting, talking about everything BUT the story.

And… why are y’all acting like the grammar police in the comments of folks’ fics? Again, I’ve seen some grammar that made me genuinely sad, but I didn’t tell the author about it, because I’m not a dick.

Lol this is another long and rambling post from me, and it really could’ve been summed up with this: It’s hard to be motivated to write, even for your OTP, when you know there’s a good chance you’re going to get some bullshit comment because readers suddenly forgot how to act.

[txtaetertots]

hellooo all~

i've been feeling kinda icky since last night and i don't feel comfortable updating my au just yet until i address this myself. i hope you don't mind.. and also anyone who didn't know about this i hope you don't get turned off from my aus over this 😭

i've already sent fairybinie a dm about it but i feel like i owe it to their followers to address it to them personally as well because i'm aware they're keeping tabs on me and my smau. i had a feeling that ask i received about my inspiration was a little weird bc people don't normally ask that especially in that manner. thought i was just overthinking it and just brushed it off. but it got the best of me and after some digging i found kdt as well as the asks and comments on fairybinie's blog about me and my smau.

i understand their followers believe my au is plagiarizing fairybinie's au kiss don't tell. and i can totally see how you could assume that given that our synopses are practically identical aside from a few key plot points. same general idea though with the whole hs drama club aspect. and i can assure you that i did not intentionally steal fairybinie's idea. i promise you this was entirely my original idea. it's just a really crazy coincidence i guess.

this idea has been in my drive since 2021. the original idea was slightly different to what i have now but it's still the same main concept. that was last modified a year ago in may 2022. here's a screenshot of the doc details as well as the general idea i had for the fic!

then, january 2023, i revisted the document and drafted the current version in my notes app. i was going to post in january but i was very busy with school so i decided to postpone it until summer when i could ensure i had more time. which is also why a majority of my character profiles list their creation date as january 2023 since.. that's when i created them.. :')

i don't prefer to seek inspiration from reading other people's works (but now i'm thinking i should at least review some when i do get an idea so i can avoid this again bc wow big oof on my end). i usually get it from consuming big media like tv, films, music, etc. which is how i got this idea. i watched movies like hairspray and grease which influenced how the current version of my au came to be.

again. i'm truly so sorry that i've caused so many of you to worry. that was never my intention and i'm sorry it appeared to be that way. and i don't blame any of you for reacting and moving the way you did! it was totally valid and fairybinie is very lucky to have people who care so deeply about their work and efforts. but i hope you accept my explanation and apology or at least understand where im coming from and believe me.

hopefully this doesn't deter anyone from giving my works a chance or continuing to read hopelessly devoted tho.. i was really looking forward to sharing my ideas with you guys but i feel like my name has already been tainted without having a proper chance to even create a name for myself yet 💀 sorrows sorrows

i will be updating my au again soon. had a bit of writers block bc i just could not get this issue out of my head. it felt wrong trying to update and ignore the issue when i know there are people watching me like a hawk with negative connotations. pls don't be mad.. 🥲

((if you don't want to continue reading hopelessly devoted tho i totally understand i mean this isn't the greatest image i've got going on right now but thank you at least for giving me a chance!))

#i feel like a rookie idol getting a scandal on the first day of the job omg #pls don't be mad at me for trying to defend myself and save my name 🥲 #pls forgive me this was so long i have anxiety and this was making me sweat pleek

[mayasdeluca]

There's this thing about the strike: all we know is that 90% sure no new shows in the fall but everyone kinda "knows" and expect them to get a deal by august/september at most. Some networks may try to push a couple episodes by november for smaller shows, but I don't think this would be ABC's case (they could have episodes done by november but no one releases before mid january). They knew about the strike since march so everyone was aware of it before the hiatus (zoanne was talking about a shortened season in april 😬).o

I agree that they set a lot of options but it also depends on GA's timeline, both shows ended with injuries related cliffhangers that need to be adressed so either it starts right were they ended or they move forward and show us flashbacks (i'm going with flashbacks bc they are gonna need timejumps and dynamics). So for Carina I would accept getting a timejump and seeing her already pregnant (and lbh, the IVF journey would be boring for the general public as in been 2 seasons of them trying). Being honest I want pregnancy+ baby in this season even if its kinda rushed as we have waited for so long

Yeah at this point I would be happy with having the show back by January...I don't expect anything earlier. Of course the priority is the writers getting what they're asking for and deserve but someone had told me they heard not to expect Station 19 back until April and just the thought of that is so 😭😭 that's still 10 months away!!! I mean even if they hopefully get a deal done by Aug/Sept the writers haven't been working on anything so it would be a quick turnaround to have scripts ready and episodes filmed by January...even if it's just some of them...but who knows. Just hope everything gets figured out soon.

I think flashbacks will be the way to go so that they aren't just stuck picking up right where they left off...neither cliffhanger was that climatic anyways so they could just show some stuff that we would've missed after skipping however much time it's gonna be for both shows. It would've been nice to see them do the IVF process from the start instead of the nonsense we had to suffer through in 5B because it's very rare to see that kind of thing shown on television but yeah, they've already spent way too much time on the planning/process and they absolutely need to have Carina pregnant at the minimum this season and they should even have the baby by the end of it because it's all been dragged out too long at this point. It would be nice to see flashbacks here and there of stuff along the way of the pregnancy journey depending on when they decide to pick up the show and if Carina is already pregnant when they do but we'll see how they do it.

#asks #anon

[moononastring]

I love Gigi’s Tea Time and I’m actually in need of some friends to talk to so I hope you’re cool with me just word vomiting at you for a minute.

Me and my friend Matt have known eachother since we were 14 and we’re 27 now so it’s been a long time. We went to school together, worked together for like 8 years, he lived with me at one point for a few weeks because he was in a rough spot and now we’re work out buddies.

We HAVE NEVER been more than friends EVER. We started losing weight together in January and both have lost over 70 pounds and we’re looking good feeling good all that jazz.

He asked me to go to a wedding with him a few months ago and it was today and we went. I was assuming as friends because in all this time we’ve never so much as like thought about kissing or anything. Yeah we hug but I hug all my friends.

I know most of his family and we were all talking and his mom comes up and is like I’m so glad you guys finally got together. When I say I almost spit my drink out I literally started choking. I explained we were just friends still and apparently he was telling his family we were together. I confronted him about it and he didn’t even deny it and told me to my face that he had always thought I was the “perfect girl for him” but he just never found me attractive until now. This wedding was over an hour away from home so I just sort of let it simmer and tried to just brush it off. But now that I’m home I’ve been like sobbing for an hour because not only was that just heart breaking to me but also I feel like I just don’t even want to be friends with someone I really cared about and it sucks so bad. I just want to know if I’m over reacting because it just felt so mean to me and like our whole relationship has been… idk: like I was so good personality wise and now that he finds me attractive he thinks he’s entitled to me? Idk I’ve just never been more upset at something someone has said to me and he didn’t even think it was wrong. 😭 He tried to kiss me at the wedding and when he dropped me off at home and I just avoided it and now he’s texting me asking me what’s wrong and I don’t even know how to respond 😭 like do I explain hey you’re an asshole? Do I just let it go? Ugh.

Oh darling, I'm sorry the night didn't turn out the way you expected it!

First of all, congratulations on that weight loss journey! That's a huge deal and you casually said it like over 70 pounds isn't a massive achievement! I hope you're feeling your healthiest yet and feeling amazing in your body!

Second of all, you are not overreacting. I'm sorry that he said that to you. It was very unkind and rude. Your feelings are absolutely valid and I'm always going to tell anyone in a situation like this — that this is something you want to hash out.

You've been friends with this person for SO long and clearly, he's been a good guy for all the time you've known him. Because of that, I think it's a situation that deserves an explanation. For your sake first, I would encourage you to have a conversation only to clear things up and figure out boundaries for this friendship. He needs to understand why what we said/did was wrong and how it hurt you. He made a decision about the two of you without including you in it, which was very bold and disrespectful. He never asked you out? You two have never discussed anything about being more than friends? Why does he think that it automatically means you're together? He's making moves on you without once discussing it or asking you if this is what you want. He needs to take several steps back because it seems like he crossed the line with you.

I obviously don't know either of you personally and you'll know him and the nature of your relationship better than I ever would but I think in order to see how you feel and where you stand in this friendship moving forward, a conversation is necessary. Some guys really are that dumb and if he's been a part of your life for this long, it needs to be explained. I don't recommend over text. If you're up for replying, tell him y'all need to talk about what happened today because you ended the night feeling unhappy and unsettled. From there, see when you feel comfortable talking about it with him. Don't wait too long to talk it out because it'll fester.

But more importantly, don't you dare let his lack of tact/brain make you feel any less amazing about yourself. You are amazing on the inside, and you are amazing on the outside. Just because HE happened to realize NOW that you've been attractive all along, doesn't mean anything other than he's been blind lol.

Again, I'm sorry what he did/said made you feel this way. You're doing amazing and you seem like such a great friend to him. Let yourself process how you feel for the rest of the night and even tomorrow then address it. If it made you feel like this, it's not something that should be brushed under the rug.

Feel your feels my darling but then set him straight when you're feeling calm and ready to talk it out.

I heart you bby <3

#gigi’s tea time #I hope this helped someone sobs #that was a dick thing to say and it really really bugged me that he just ASSUMED y'all were together #and ASSUMED he could kiss you like WHAT #my dude calm down #asks #'nonnie

[lpfreakification]

Unorganized thoughts?

1. Felt quite on top of things during work tonight to make up for being lazy all week. Either that or hormones. Blaming period XP

2. Doodled during work felt good, too. I doodled another (human) Dratica head that made me realize that I need to practice drawing heads again. Tried to remember my proportions on the next doodle. Almost elongated the face again 😅 Lastly, doodled from a nicely rendered face of Cloud. Got the head/face shapes right, but the eyes = yikes? Could've done better on the eyes, ngl.

3. Made me feel nostalgic about how I used to draw from pictures on my PSP so often X3 (I miss it)

4. Summers this decade have been quite eventful.

2020 = COVID-19 Pandemic

2021 = Chris' gaming lovestreams + the start of my KH journey XD

2022 = online drawing sessions + shiny watercolors

2023 = successful summer plans >X) (+ Gensin)

5. The Void... what was once a dark hole where lost words go. Now, don't need it anymore :)

6. Thinking about doing the ReCoded finale b4 the semester starts on Sept 6th or closer to the date 🤔 That way, I can get Peli done in time.

7. So glad I'm not going to the beach tomorrow. It's usually an uncomfortable time bcuz of the heat, mosquitos, feeling worse about my belly in a bathing suit, the sand 🙃, ofteb awful timing bcuz of period, socializing XP, + not fond of going in the water (hydrophobic maybe?).

8. If DaArk's human name were to be Derrick, what would Dratica's human name be? 🤔 One time in Acting for Animators, one classmate thought he'd look like a "Blake." Dumbfounded, + yet, it's been lingering in my head since.

9. I wanna add some chub to some OCs so I can feel better about my belly 😖

10. Elephant :P I wanna draw an elephant?

11. I'm honestly don't like my phone's camera for taking pics of my doodles. I feel like they come out blurry no matter how many times I try to focus. That's the main reason for the lack of uploading doodles on IG X( I'll figure this out eventually XP

12. I pretend to be a viewer reading this. I ask myself, "Is this interesting?" Sometimes. Like a pen that writes, but then skips or like a light bulb burning bright but dims, flickers, or glows again.

13. I'm feeling more conscious about the top of my back + the back of my neck. Conscious of how I recline, how I lay in bed (side sleeper, i am), slouching, + bending over to doodle (to the point my whole face is up close to the paper 🙂).

14. Ew. My mind's imagining how much heavy breathing I've done while I painted. *thinks back to the last one I made* 😐 Thank goodness I did not get covid! (Maybe I did but didn't know).

15. Quite the physical toll on me this year. From January to March, I went to the gym. But wasn't feeling it + would feel quite sickly (like sneezing, constant runny nose, + got stomach flu for the 1st time?). From late March to early June, sitting on my butt for 2 months straight, doing two two-minute animations for a semester. It was such a wise decision to leave my main day job bcuz that was a lot of work for those animations. Noticed gray hairs for my bday. (I'm a 29yo lady!) Got super lazy after the semester until late June. Went back to kickboxing. July was a better productive month. Currently, August, where my period's sucking up my energy. Nah, I'm just being lazy again?

It's 11:48 pm + I can feel myself drifting off to sleep. Imma end it here. If they're going to the beach + the weather is favorable, then I can go out to the backyard to do something.

Nite yall!

(OMG, I FOUND MY FAVORITE GIF AGAIN!)

(It's the "dreamplz" gif from DeviantArt)

(I used to end my posts w/ this gif all the time + I miss this so much 😭)

#life

[ao719]

Past Meet Present

Past Meet Present (Prologue)

Summary: Andrea’s needs were simple and few — all she wanted was to be someone’s only choice. When her past meets her present, in the end it’s she who will a decision to make.

Pairing: Liam x MC / Thomas Mendez x MC

A/N: I received this anon request back in January, asking me to do a fic where MC is with either Liam or Thomas, meets the other, and in the end she needs to choose one of them. (😭) I’ve been working on it since then, here and there, and here we are ... I’m aiming for this to be a mini series (sksksk) ... we’ll see how that goes. Huge thanks to @dcbbw for prereading and your suggestions and brainstorming with me! Love you!

The chatter of patrons mingled with the music coming from the jukebox while Andrea stood behind the bar at the tavern, cashing out one of her tables. The night was still busy, and it didn’t look as if it were going to slow down anytime soon.

This particular night was a rare one for her. It wasn’t very often that Andrea wanted to focus solely on work. Usually, there was friendly gossip with coworkers in between taking orders, serving meals and drinks, and checking on customers; they were friendly conversations that involved their plans for after work, about school, about their love lives. She wanted no part in any of those discussions that night because each one of them would make her think about him.

It had been a month and she didn’t want to think about him. Not anymore. Not ever again.

Easier said than done.

Six months, in hindsight, isn’t a very long time span for a relationship. It’s only half a year. You’re still learning about one another and exploring your limits and boundaries as a new couple. But six months feels like a long time to give yourself completely to another, only for it to abruptly end with no warning.

Andrea met him at the beginning of the school year; it was nighttime, and she was sitting alone in the Fordham University library.

**

Andrea always came to the library later in the evening because she knew it would be practically empty; she would have the place mostly to herself. She discovered early on in her time at the university that the library offered a quiet that was unavailable in her dorm. The later she entered the library, the more peaceful it was.

The clang of the historic heavy doors opening startled her, and she looked up from her table to see a handsome stranger entering. He offered her a rueful smile and a whispered apology for disrupting her late-night study session.

For the next 45 minutes, Andrea kept stealing glances at the stranger who was sitting three tables away. At one point, he glanced up before she could look away and their eyes locked. He smiled and rose from his seat; grabbing his bag and laptop, he made his way toward her. Her eyes followed him as he approached her table.

“Hi,” he smiled. “Would you care for some company?”

“Sure,” Andrea smiled, feeling her heart flutter.

He was tall, his features chiseled, and she could tell even through his white Fordham t-shirt and black sweatpants that he was in shape. He had thick, wavy auburn hair, steel blue eyes, and the warmest smile she had ever seen. He sat at the table next to her, and opened his laptop before looking over at her again.

“I’m Thomas. Thomas Mendez,” he smiled.

“Andrea Brooks.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Andrea.”

The two strangers sat and made small talk. Andrea learned that Thomas was three years older than her, and a third year law school student. He had plenty of time to get ready for his bar exam at the end of the year, but all of his spare time went to preparing. He had explained that on that particular night, he didn’t feel like sitting in his off campus apartment, so he came to the library to study instead. Thomas learned that Andrea was in her final year of undergrad, studying business administration and management. She would be graduating at the end of the school year.

**

After that night, Andrea no longer found herself alone on the nights she would go to the library. She didn’t mind. Thomas was interesting. He was sweet and always offered to help her study. He was funny and made her laugh. They were playful and flirtatious with each other.

They started with just meeting in the library practically every night. Weeks later, it turned into leaving the library late, and instead of heading their separate ways home, they would have late night meals at George’s, one of the local diners nearby campus. Then, Thomas started meeting Andrea after her classes, offering to walk her to her next one. And two months after meeting that night in the library, what started out as a simple friendship had blossomed into something so much more after their first kiss on those library steps.

To say that both Andrea and Thomas fell hard would be an understatement. They tumbled head over feet. Nights they used to spend together studying for their law and business exams in the library turned into studying one another instead. And they weren’t afraid of admitting how strongly they both felt about each other, dropping those three monumental words far sooner than most would say was advisable.

For six months Andrea sat on cloud nine, happier than she had been in a long time.

And then a month ago, everything came crashing down.

In the two months prior to them beginning their relationship, during those nights at the library and through conversations over meals at the diner, Andrea and Thomas both learned about the other’s past.

It had been at least two years since Andrea had been in a relationship; her last one lasted four years, and it had been with her high school sweetheart. They lived hours apart, attending different schools. The first two years of college, they talked every day; they visited each other on weekends, and spent breaks together. Over their summer break after their second year at college, he told her that he had an opportunity to transfer to Fordham and was planning to do so. Then, just a month before his planned move, he suddenly had a change of heart. He told her that he was choosing to go somewhere else, somewhere further away than he was now … that he wasn’t choosing her. And that was the end. There was no further explanation, no proper goodbye. Nothing. She never heard from him again.

Andrea had gone on some dates here and there over the next couple of years, but it was never anything serious. Most didn’t make it past a second date, some not even making it through the first. She chose to put most of her focus into school, which is why she ended up in the library most nights, like on the one she had met Thomas.

It had been a year since Thomas had been in a relationship prior to Andrea. Thomas had met someone through a study group during his last year as an undergraduate; they were both pre-law students. They instantly hit it off at their first meeting, and began dating shortly after. When the time came for law school, they both chose to stay at Fordham. But after the first year, she made the decision to transfer to a school to be closer to her family … almost 3,000 miles away, on the other side of the country.

Thomas struggled with the distance now between them, and so did she, but he insisted that he wanted to make it work, that they could make it work. But only a few months after she had left, she called one night and claimed that while she was the one who put the distance between them when she chose to transfer, it was too hard on her. She ended their two year relationship, leaving Thomas heartbroken.

Like Andrea, Thomas threw himself into his studies. He kept to himself for the most part and spent a lot of time in his apartment. That was until one night he decided he wanted to get out, needing a change of scenery. And he ended up in the library that night he had met Andrea.

A little over a month before their fallout, Andrea had gone to Thomas’s apartment for dinner one night. She noticed him acting strangely. When she asked him if everything was ok, he was honest with her. His ex had contacted him earlier that day.

**

“What? What did she say?” Andrea asked, trying to mask the insecurity she was feeling. She knew all about their history and the way Thomas once felt about her.

Thomas let out a breath. “She … she asked me how I was and how law school was going. And then … she said that she missed me.” After a moment of silence, he glanced up to meet her gaze, seeing that look in her eyes. “It just threw me for a loop, is all. I haven’t heard from her in over a year … so her message was just really unexpected.” He gave her an apologetic look. “I’m sorry, Andrea. I didn’t mean to ruin our night.”

Andrea softly smiled as she stepped up to him. “You didn’t ruin anything.” Thomas leaned down and pressed a soft kiss to her lips, a kiss that deepened a moment later. Andrea giggled when Thomas lifted her from the ground, wrapping her legs around his waist. He began walking towards his bedroom. “What about dinner?”

“How about dessert first?” Thomas smirked.

••

Over the next month, things continued on as normal for Thomas and Andrea. Andrea had gotten a job working weekends at a hole in the wall tavern in the Bronx. She had been looking for an apartment for after she graduated and needed the extra money to save up until she could get a job tailored towards her degree. And Thomas began preparing for his next steps after law school: applying for internships.

Andrea had stopped by Thomas’s apartment one night, the two of them planning to go see a movie. Thomas opened his door, kissing her before he stepped aside to let her in. “I just need to grab my jacket. I’ll be right out.”

“Ok,” Andrea smiled.

While she waited, Andrea set her purse down on the small dining table, noticing the few pieces of paper scattered across it. She smiled proudly, knowing they were some of the internship acceptance letters he had received; she saw the one he had told her about earlier on the phone from a law firm in Astoria. She lifted the papers and slipped the top one off to glance at the second acceptance letter. Her expression fell as she looked at it.

“Ok, I’m ready,” Thomas called as he rounded the corner from his bedroom.

“When … when were you going to tell me about this?” Andrea held up the one letter as she turned to look at him; Thomas glanced up to see what she had in her hand. “San Diego?” her voice slightly cracked. “Isn’t that … isn’t that where Soledad is?”

“Andrea … it’s not … I only applied because—”

“You only applied for an internship … in the city your ex-girlfriend lives in … that’s across the country …” Andrea stared at him for a moment, swallowing over the lump forming in her throat. “Has she messaged you again?”

“No, she hasn’t. I swear. I … I don’t know why I applied, honestly. I was …” Thomas paused, letting out a breath as he ran his fingers through his wavy hair. “I was going through the list of available internships and that was one of the locations. I applied to all of them.”

“You couldn’t have, I don’t know, skipped over this one? I mean … set aside the fact that your ex lives there — the same ex who messaged you out of the blue only a month ago and told you that she missed you — but it’s in California … and you didn’t think to maybe talk to me about it?”

“Andrea … I didn’t … no, because I’m probably not even going to accept it!”

Andrea’s brow arched. “Probably?”

Thomas could feel himself getting frustrated, but not with Andrea, with himself. Truthfully, he didn’t know why he sent out the application for that specific internship, nor what he was thinking when he did. It had happened only a couple of days after he had received that message from Soledad, a message that had messed with his head for longer than he’d care to admit. He wasn’t sure why Soledad telling him she missed him seemed to play with his mind and emotions so much; he had Andrea and he loved her. He was happy with her.

“Do you still have feelings for her?”

Thomas snapped his gaze back to Andrea, furrowing his brows. “What?”

“Do you still have feelings for Soledad?”

“Why would you ask me that?”

“Oh, I don’t know … maybe because you two have a history … maybe because you applied to an internship in her city?”

“Andrea—”

“She messages you after not speaking to you for a year and you suddenly apply for an internship across the country where she is! And you didn’t even tell me — your girlfriend!”

“Andrea, I just—”

“Do you still have feelings for her?” Andrea bit out as her voice raised.

“I DON’T KNOW!” Thomas shouted.

Silence filled his apartment as they stared at one another. Thomas’s brows slightly rose, surprising even himself with his heat of the moment response. Of course he still didn't have feelings for Soledad … right? He watched Andrea’s lips part as if she were going to speak, but no words came out. She took a slow step back away from him as her eyes filled with tears.

“Andrea … that message she sent … it did surprise me, yes. And I’m just … I’m feeling confused …” Thomas heard her let out a breath as she shook her head. She set the paper back down and grabbed her purse from the table before turning and walking by him towards the door.

Andrea stopped as she reached for the knob, keeping her back to him. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to love someone who said they loved you in return, but now they’re suddenly unsure?” Thomas could hear her voice break. “You just gave me hope and rejection in a single breath.”

Andrea opened the door and walked out, and it latched shut behind her. Thomas was frozen in place, trying to figure out what the hell just happened and how it had escalated so quickly.

**

It had been a month since Andrea walked out of Thomas’s apartment that night. She hadn’t heard from him since. For her, his silence only solidified what she knew when she walked out that door.

It was over.

Andrea had spent the last month throwing herself into work. Her graduation was a little over a week away and she was uncertain of what she was going to do after that. She had yet to find an apartment, and truthfully she didn’t have it in her to look as of late. Her life felt so up in the air, the unknown looming over her.

“Have a good night, and enjoy that show you’re going to,” Andrea smiled at her customers when she gave them their receipt. As soon as her back was towards them, her smile instantly fell as she made her way back to the bar.

“You look like you could use a drink.”

Andrea looked up at her coworker, Daniel, and let out a wry laugh. “A few sounds more like it.”

“Still haven’t heard from him?”

“Nope.”

“Have you found a place yet?”

“Nope.”

“You could always stay with me until you do,” Daniel offered. Andrea looked at him, her brows rounding. “You’re more than welcome to stay for as long as you need. You know I love your company.”

“Thanks, Danny. I’ll think about it.”

Daniel heard the bell above the tavern door open; he glanced over to see a group of men walking inside, and his eyes lit up. “Look at all that man meat that just walked in.” Andrea laughed at his comment despite herself. Feeling her phone vibrate in her apron pocket, she turned so her manager wouldn’t see her pull it out to check it. “I know that’s your section, but I won’t mind one little bit taking that table off your hands if you want me to.” When Andrea didn’t respond, Daniel looked over at her. “Hey …” He saw her looking down at her phone with a bemused expression. “What is it?”

“Thomas,” Andrea whispered. “He just messaged me …”

Daniel’s eyes widened. “What did he say?”

Andrea remained quiet for a moment, reading over his words again. “He said he was sorry he hasn’t reached out, that he misses me … and wants to know if we can meet up later to talk …”

“What are you going to say?”

“I … I don’t know. I mean … I think maybe I should … just to hear him out … but at the same time I wonder if it’s even worth it.” The words Andrea spoke stung; he was worth it, but she was afraid of what he was going to say. She looked up at Daniel, silently asking for his opinion. He simply shrugged, a ‘do or don’t, you do you’ response.

Andrea looked back at her phone, letting her fingers hover over the keyboard for a moment before she replied to Thomas. She told him she was working and had to close that night, but that he could meet her there at the tavern at the end of her shift. He responded saying he would be there. She closed her eyes as she slipped her phone back into her pocket, letting out a breath.

“Asshole is making his way over,” Daniel subtly gestured his head toward their manager. “Better go get that booth.”

****

Liam’s eyes kept glancing up from where he sat at the booth with Drake, Maxwell, and Tariq to the bar that their waitress stood behind. He had come in only a few moments behind the others and she was already at their table taking their drink orders. When he approached and she looked up at him, he swore he felt his heart skip. She was beautiful. She had long brown hair fixed in a braid with a few wisps falling to frame her face. Her eyes were a golden brown, and he saw something warm and inviting in them. And she had this smile … a brilliant smile that could stop a room.

It certainly stopped him.

She glanced up from behind the bar, fixing her eyes in his direction and offered a small smile. He felt this strange feeling as they locked gazes, unable to peel his eyes away from hers. It felt like a connection of sorts, which in hindsight he knew sounded utterly insane, even to him, considering he didn’t even know who she was other than by name. How could you feel a connection with someone who you’ve never even held a conversation with other than about the specials and drink selections on a menu? But he felt it despite not being able to explain nor understand it.

There was something about this stranger … something that made him want to know her.

Liam’s group had kept Andrea right up until closing time at the tavern. As they stood from their booth to leave, discussing what to do with the remainder of their night, an idea struck him. He told the others he would meet them out front and started towards the bar that Andrea stood behind, cashing out the register. “Hello.”

Andrea turned to see the handsome stranger that had been staring at her all night; she wasn’t pretending not to notice, her mind was just elsewhere. “Hi,” she smiled.

“We’re heading out now. I just wanted to apologize for keeping you so late,” Liam smiled ruefully. “I know that my friends can be a bit of a handful.”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle,” Andrea waved him off before turning back to the register.

“Well … if you don’t have any other plans for tonight, perhaps I can make it up to you with a drink?” When Andrea looked over at him, Liam smiled nervously. “We’re about to go to a club …”

Andrea couldn’t help but smile at his expression; his piercing blue eyes sparkled with hope as he stared at her. He was handsome and seemed genuinely sweet, and she’d be lying if she said that both he and his offer didn’t intrigue her just the slightest. They did. But she couldn’t. She offered him an apologetic smile. “I would love to, but I … I’m actually supposed to be meeting someone here very shortly.”

Liam hid his disappointment behind a soft smile. “Well … if for some reason you change your mind or decide you want to meet up later, we’re heading to a place called Kismet. And if not …” He took her hand and brought it to his lips, softly kissing the back of it as he held her gaze. “It was a pleasure to meet you, Andrea.”

Andrea stared at him for a moment, feeling her cheeks flush. “The pleasure was all mine. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

Liam gave one last smile before he turned and disappeared out of the door.

****

Andrea finished cashing out the register before she wiped down all of the tables, swept the floors, wiped down the bar, and cleaned behind it. And all the while, Thomas still hadn’t shown up. Maybe he didn’t think talking would help them and so he changed his mind about coming. Maybe he had decided that he was going to take that internship in San Diego and that’s what he wanted to talk about, and now he didn’t know how to tell her that she had been right.

Andrea chose not to reach out and ask him where he was or if he was still coming. As much as she wanted to see him, to hear what he had to say after a month of silence, she refused to be that desperate girl. Once finished with all of her tasks, she sat on a stool at the bar, drumming her fingers against the worn glossy wood. She waited another 10 minutes before finally giving up.

Thomas wasn’t coming.

Andrea headed back to the employee break room, changed from her uniform, and grabbed her bag; she walked back through the bar, turned off the lights, and stepped outside onto the dingy sidewalk, turning and locking up the tavern door. As she moved to the edge of the street, she glanced one way for a few moments before looking the other way. He really wasn’t coming.  

Moment’s after throwing her arm up to hail a cab, one pulled over in front of her and she slipped inside. “Where to, Miss?” the cabbie asked when she shut the door.

Andrea went to tell him to take her back to campus, but she paused as another thought came to her. She met the man’s eyes in the rearview mirror. “Kismet please.”

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