#the other side of sanity

[ksbbb]

WIP Wednesday (thiam)

“I’m only looking out for everyone. It doesn’t mean you have to have lunch with the guy.” Liam mutters, picking up Theo’s keys and placing them on the table.

Theo softens, the edge in his tone fading and the scarlet red easing back to a warm green.

“I don’t trust anyone right now. Especially Scott.” Theo bites his lip, a fang showing at the corner of his mouth, his wolf on edge.

“As much as I could tell you off right now, I agree. I don’t trust anyone either. I keep thinking I’m talking to someone that isn’t human.” Liam smiles, watching Theo visibly become less tense, his anger simmering down to a more manageable level.

#wip wednesday #current wip #wip stuff #thiam #thiam fanfic #teen wolf #theo raeken #liam dunbar #hopefully no typos 💀 #ao3 #ao3 fanfic #the other side of sanity #dark Theo

[crimson0lake]

BSD: Other Side is also added to ao3 with its intro!

#bsd #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai #bsd fandom #bsd yosano #bungou stray dogs #bsd atsushi #bsd au #bsd comic #bsd fanfic #BSD: Other Side #BSD: One Time Sanity #port mafia #armed detective agency

[woodcat-collections]

bobcats parties are.. something else...

#loretta on her horse at the head of the table #which you would think would be super inconvenient #but yes. bow before her ground-bound mortals #and josh and beatriz forming some kind of eldritch abomination on the other side of the table? #legendary #and then my pc just kind of looks like they are crying or maybe questioning their sanity #pinching the bridge of their nose #or face palming #sso #ssoblr #star stable online #star stable

[deus-ex-mona]

man. this song reminds me of physiology class

#throwback to physiology class [x] years ago when this clique sitting behind me drank a sip of water every time #our lecturer said the word ‘infarction’ #they kept tricking her into saying the word which was pretty funny at the time #but that’s just what this song reminds me of with the frequency at which they say the phrase ‘white day kiss’ #of all of the new album songs to get stuck in my head… it’s this and abs. #can’t stop thinking about meoto but white day kiss is looping in my mind aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa #i. i think i need some sleep. but my album’s supposed to arrive within the next 2 hours and aufhhfjfjjfjrjdjdjdjdhs #5-7pm delivery is too cruel of a delivery slot!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #g god i really shouldn’t have stayed up for meoto… maybe i’d have a little more sanity then… #i keep going back to my tl to look for typos and im just. wondering if this song is really real. #like. dammit. promises to stay by each other’s sides forever???? even through reincarnation too??? #wh. what are the chances that we’ll get a meoto mv this week? (pls say more than 0) #i think we could all windows movie maker a 1-2 image white day kiss mv from the honeypre event illusts if we tried hard enough sooooooo #i sure hope that if any new song gets an mv this week it’ll be meoto!!!!!!! #pls lemme see them being in love all through the seasons ill c r y #ok i’ll shut up for now see you within 2 hours (maybe) when d to the h to the l finally gives me my album

[chirpsythismorning]

I have multiple versions of Mike in my head if I'm being honest.

gay/bi/unlabeled Mike discourse TW:

There's a version of Mike in my head that's gay and I love him dearly. I think that when you dig a little deeper into Mike's character, beyond what's being outright told to us, but also what's being shown, what you'll find is that not everything is what it seems (ie. mirrors = reflection/deception). And so navigating him as a character that requires more than us just going along with what's on the surface (what the casual viewers see) is what I do think leads to a lot of analysis that leans towards Mike being gay.

And yet still, simultaneously there's a version of Mike in my head that's bi and I also love him dearly. I see him pretty clearly in my head and he is wonderful and dear to me!! I also think this is more than anything because if someone whose bisexual can relate to Mike and his character, then that's great and it sort of just knocks down the basic claim that bi-Mike doesn't make sense at all/isn't realistic at all, as an argument? And so hearing that argument does irc me a little bit. I know we're talking about a TV show here, where everything is intentional. I get it and I agree! I do!

However, if we're going to also in the same breath use real life examples of peoples experience with sexuality, and argue how Mike's arc is going to provide representation to not only queer people watching, but also perhaps have a ripple effect on the entire film industry and how we as a society tend to perceive sexuality based on preconceived notions/stereotypes, in that regard, Mike being bi is valid... Because if this were the real world (again a place many of us are saying will be impacted by this moment in TV), then it wouldn't matter if we never saw Mike outright look at girls in the same way he looked at boys. This is a unique situation bc doing what we're doing in the real world would be despicable. We're talking about our perception of what makes someone gay/bi/unlabeled and all the assumptions at play in regards to that, while using the real world as evidence to support our claims. This is why, because of the impact on our reality, I would be okay with Mike being bi in canon. I'd also be okay with it assuming that Finn was okay with it. No matter what happens, Finn has a lot of say in Mike's arc, just like most of the main cast has a say in their characters. If Finn is standing by it then shit, I'm there!

I may be a gay mike truther, but I will gladly admit that there is bi-Mike evidence, bc there is! There are moments with Mike that show the colors of the bi flag that add up to at least a couple handfuls of times. While I do think the gay imagery sort of outweighs the bi-imagery in the details (there is also gay Mike evidence!), it's still not enough for me to rule out bi-Mike all together bc after all, sexuality is a spectrum and so the back and forth going on could technically be an indication of Mike questioning and figuring himself out!

I also think that Mike can be capable of having internalized homophobia while also being bi (or unlabeled/gay for that matter). I think he's capable of an arc separate from Will/El, related to him and his own insecurities and why he felt the need to be in denial for so long. All that closet imagery was there for a reason! His parents having hints at being aligned with more conservative values was intentional. I also don't think exploring this has to interfere with Will, El or any of the other character arcs. Mike did arguably start the show as the protagonist, who took a big step back from being in focus over the last two seasons and so yes I do think exploring his struggles more outright is something that could and should happen, to bring his character's arc to an end properly, regardless of what label he identifies with once that time comes.

And then there's another version of Mike in my head that's unlabeled Mike and best believe he is loved!!!. While I agree it would be frustrating to have to see people still unable to accept Mike not being straight, just like there are people still in denial about Will and Robin (an ugly reminder ppl will do it regardless), it also doesn't feel great hearing that Mike being unlabeled would be disappointing. Arguably one could make the claim that Mike struggling with his identity all this time and being surrounded by all this imagery back and forth, along with the whole forced conforming speech and that 'bs media propaganda' line alone, could be evidence supporting the fact that he's just an unlabeled king, bc they do exist. Again I welcome criticism to unlabeled Mike along with all the other interpretations of Mike's character bc some criticism is well supported and like I don't have a problem with discourse.

Here's the thing, I personally think it's sort of weird to rule out stuff as a possibility, at all? I think it's weird to make the claim that someone is not media literate or is setting themselves up for disappointment for simply having a theory. So yes I would rather believe all of it, consider every possibility, because it also allows me to not be blinded where certain analysis actually doesn't check out. Both gay and bi-Mike truthers will make a claim, be presented with evidence against it that arguably does check out as more strong that the original claim they made, only to downplay it as not that deep and move on. And it's because neither side wants to really acknowledge those deeper things if it goes against what they want to believe. (However, if it supports what they believe, then nvm, it is that deep!)

Sure it might be a little bit embarrassing to be super convinced a theory is going to play out, only for it to be way off, but this applies to literally everyone. Everyone has theories and most of them are going to be wrong. There's no shame in shooting in the dark when it comes to speculating about what could happen.

What I do however think would actually be embarrassing, is insisting a theory is not happening, only to be the one who ends up being wrong.

Everyone can do whatever they want. I can't stop anyone from making controversial posts and honestly I wouldn't want to. I don't want us to get to a point where we feel like we can't speak our minds about basic things or to a point where we make each other feel so uncomfortable and disliked that we're not welcome. I don't want to hurt peoples feelings and make them feel small over this because it's not that serious and making real life people feel miserable over a TV show is just not worth it to me!

If you find yourself discouraging others, think about the possibility that it could be you that ends up being wrong and maybe don't take it too far?

That's why I will not be caught DEAD saying a theory has no chance because it would be naive to insinuate that. Now, believing theories on the other hand... I could go on for hours about what I do believe. And I'm gonna have fun continuing to do it!

Anyways I love unlabeled, bi and gay Mike and all the analysis surrounding it. Yes I'm controversial as I do personally agree/disagree with both sides at different points. And so until we get confirmation, I'm open to differing takes and thinking about arguments that could be used to analyze each scene for each one bc you'd be surprised how believable each analysis can be (including straight Mike... yeah yeah I love him too (unfortunately). However, he does scare me).

#byler #pls don't insist your right and everyone else is wrong #i do not want to see your heartbreak sprial about how the duffer brothers are terrible writers bc you (1 person) were wrong... #gay bi unlabeled whatever you identify mike as pls leave room for sanity if you want others to take you seriously #btw i headcanon mike as being gay but i could also see him being someone that later on down the line identivies as bi or vice versa... #bc sexuality is a spectrum and we're all figuring our shit out #and whatever mike (finn says in interviews post s5) #i'm on his side idc what he says #if he says mike is straight i will be ummm #lets not talk about it bc it's not happening #if he supports mike being unlabeled and a boy kisser okay tell em #if he says mike is gay then you heard him #if he says mike is bi then don't make him say it again you hear???! #end of rant #i will never talk about this again bc i've made it clear where i stand i think...

[existential-dread-in-the-am]

People should hear my mental commentary while assessing new backpack options, I sound judgemental as hell. Like: "nope. Nope. No. Agh, you're pointless! Also pointless. Useless. You wouldn't last a day. Oh no, you wouldn't last an HOUR honey your little decorations will fall right off - what's this? ohh you might have actual potential...what? Waist support and two compartments but no side pockets?? What kind of moron designed you? You're completely useless! You and your creator both! Ridiculous, an absolute waste of material. And you, and you, and you! All of you are useless to me."

#seriously though they don't make adaptable 40-45l backpacks with both hiking-suitable compartments and waist support with a computer pocket #and side pockets with the side strap things that you can clip a water bottle onto so it won't fall out while moving #and the the. what is it #the thing on the outside that lets you add like a camping mattress or yoga mat or a picnic blanket or something #actually the skateboard/snowboard backpacks have ones that work but those never have any of the other things I mentioned #genuinely I am losing sanity over this

[nocylipcowa]

what if i joined this 3d sculpting and printing class..... hm...... hm.....

#might be fun i need a side project tbh #yk for sanity points #on the other hand. the bitch ass for thesis #plus the class on moday and im pretty sure we are having a premiere on monday as well

[5-pp-man]

pump it up is BY FAR the best insert song from this season. holy shit.

#hypmic #tedpost #tedtalks #i think my previous fave was either fp's. idk the name of that one. and sanity. but ESPECIALLY new world #ive rlly liked the songs this season. also the visuals go hard. #side note. why didnt aniplex post fps song on yt like all the others. what gives. they didnt post bat and bb's duo song either. huh.

[ksbbb]

Sunday WIP Snippet (thiam)

“No they aren’t. No one has acted weird or strange that I’m aware of. I haven’t been around the rest of you much. Maybe it’s Lydia.” Liam fumes, unable to stop himself from getting into an argument with Stiles.

“Sure. It’s Lydia. What about Theo? He randomly shows up at the exact time this thing comes out?” Stiles snaps, the loathing for the chimera shining through his face and he bites back another seething remark, noticing the raw anger coming over Liam.

“It followed Theo out. How the hell would it be Theo? Now you’re just being an a…” Liam shakes, the fury flowing through his body, fangs poking through his gums and his wolf waiting, just as angry as he is, and ready to defend Theo.

He’s gently pushed back, being forced to stop his comment mid sentence, already wanting to know what comeback Stiles is going to come up with, but Scott is frowning at him, standing in between them, and blocking them from continuing their conversation.

#thiam fanfic #thiam #teen wolf #wip stuff #snippet #wip snippet #wip sneak peek #theo raeken #liam dunbar #the other side of sanity #considering not finishing this one #since I’m the only one interested #dark Theo #ao3 fanfic #ao3 writer #dark Theo raeken #ao3 author #a03 writer #read on a03 #a03 fanfic #wip snippet Sunday

[crimson0lake]

Just a reminder that the event is started- :D

#bsd fandom #bsd chuuya #bungou stray dogs #bsd dazai #bsd yosano #bsd atsushi #bsd au #bsd comic #bsd fanfic #bsd #a child in bsd #bsd other side #bsd one time sanity

[knightsofrayx]

Warrior Nun Realm Time Ratios

(This is also posted on ao3 but the image disappeared so I redid it here)

I got tired of having to calculate the time differences across the realms so I made a spreadsheet that did the math for me. I don't know how to upload the data itself to here (or if I even can), so instead here are all the equations and an explanation of how I did it.

This is based on the 7.8 seconds = 107 minutes ratio from when Jillian sent Lilith through the arc with the recording device in Season 2.

Here are some screenshots of how I set it up on a spreadsheet (you can ignore the top right section. I was just doing generic ratios of the time values for that and realized I didn’t actually need them)

Formulas:

base value of 1:

Key:

Left half is Mortal Realm times, right half is The Other Side times

Time values: seconds, minutes, hours, days, years

Row colors:

Red: seconds

Light blue: minutes

Orange: hours

Dark blue: days

Green: years

The basic multiplier is (6420/7.8), based on the 107 minutes/7.8 seconds ratio.

Equations to input into a spreadsheet (based on the Mortal Realm time values): 

X= whatever the mortal time value is (so inputted in the vibrant cell on the left side)

X is only used in the equation on the corresponding vibrant cell on the right half. The rest of the equations are based on the left half’s vibrant cell.

Use whatever the cell name box is in place of the (X) or (time value)

equations are inputted on the bottom right half

Red:

Seconds= X*(6420/7.8)

Minutes= (seconds)*60

Hours= (seconds)*3600

Days= (seconds)/86400

Years= (seconds)/31536000

Light Blue: 

Seconds= (minutes)*60

Minutes= X*(6420/7.8)

Hours= (minutes)/60

Days= (minutes)*(24*60)

Years= (minutes)/525600

Orange:

Seconds= (hours)*3600

Minutes= (hours)*60

Hours= X*(6420/7.8)

Days= (hours)/24

Years= (hours)/8760

Dark Blue:

Seconds= (days)*86400

Minutes= (days)*1440

Hours= (days)*24

Days= X*(6420/7.8)

Years= (days)/365

Green:

Seconds= (years)*31536000

Minutes= (years)*525600

Hours= (years)*8760

Days= (years)*365

Years= X*(6420/7.8)

I’m as confident as I can be with these numbers/equations, but given that this is the first time I’ve actually used the equation functions on a spreadsheet and it's been a while since I’ve done math of this type, there is a possibility that I messed up somewhere.

I had attempted at one point to add weeks and months as rows, but then the math just got so overly complicated due months not having the same number of days and then weeks just were (green row)*7, so it felt pointless to include it.

So if you’re like me and got tired of having to calculate it every time, then just pop those into a spreadsheet and have at it. Also, if you think about it, in Canon, Lilith is “dead” for approximately 4 MR days (they don’t really make keeping track of time easy in the show), which would then be about 9 years on The Other Side. Just what was Reya doing with her in all that time?

#warrior nun #save warrior nun #math #the other side #spreadsheets yay #sister lilith #Reya #equations #actually using the functions of a spreadsheet #color coordination saved my sanity #my fic #i guess #ao3: Warrior Nun Realm Time Ratios

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

x. polite because no one deserves to be purposefully treated rudely. kind because kindness keeps a person gentle. sweet because making people smile is uplifting. helpful for the same reason. supportive because if you dont have anything nice to say, it's extremely easy not to say anything at all. above all, do unto others what you would have them do unto you.

o. polite because it's the best way to fade all the way into the background. kind because i'm too afraid to let myself be cruel. sweet because of overwhelming&pathetic desperation to make people happy. helpful because it's too exhausting to cause waves. supportive because other's goals are a great distraction from my own. above all, a smile makes the best camouflage as long as no one can ever see you sweat.

x. lonely+isolated because of mental+physical health restrictions. i miss people-- i miss being surprised, i miss relating to people on any level that isn't abject pain. i miss connection, communion, community.

o. alone+introspective because it pays off to be so. i don't miss people at all-- in fact it is a true sign of growth that it is not my knee-jerk reaction to say that i hate them for everything that (an admittedly small sampling of) people have done to me.

x. i am so terrified of communication at this point, &traumatized by Other People just in general, that i regularly shut my notifications off on everything because the sound of any form of notification ring that i recognize can literally kick off vicious panic attacks and send me running for dark corners, lmao. i am pathetic-- but i am a survivor.

o: i am charming, fun, &social to varying degrees dependent on the work. i am adaptable, everything from the center of attention to support staff with ease. smiling through blood in my mouth&talking to basically anyone for minutes to hours is child's play-- literally, since that is when i learned it.

x. pride over the skills i've developed over a lifetime of nonsense. made possible by mania, perhaps.

o. shame over the skills i've developed over a lifetime of nonsense. put off by disassociation, definitely.

x. i am kind and small and smiling and invisible. please just leave me alone. please don't even look at me, i literally cannot bear it, i just want to be alone again, please do not hurt me, i will do anything to make you happy if you just promise not to hurt me.

o. i am vicious and bloody and loud, and i will make you look at me, i will make you see me. i will give you a reason for that sneer, &i have no problem giving and taking blood in the process. my blood is worth so much less that i will win this no matter what-- i am braver than you could ever be because i have nothing that i'm afraid i'll lose.

x: i just want to make people smile.

o: i just want to never see another living person ever again.

x: like me, like me, like me. please just like me. i just want to be safe from abject hatred. i just want to be likeable. i can be anything, anyone-- it isn't like i want to keep all my parts, anyway, just tell me what i need to toss to be normal. just tell me what to chop off to be loveable.

o: i will give you every reason to fucking hate me if that is what's going to happen, anyway. i have spent a lifetime becoming who i am, usually against my will-- i can finally look in the mirror without flinching, &i won't let anyone take that away from me. you'll pry my forced self-acceptance out of my cold, dead hands.

x: i have been so lucky. i have been so fucking lucky. every single day i am reminded of all the many ways it could have been worse, things could have been worse, life could have been worse. i am so lucky. i owe the red string everything for letting me finally be someone i like sometimes.

o: i might have been lucky, but somehow i doubt anyone treating my gratitude or happiness like a red flag would be capable of living a day in my life-- or any singular one of the days i've lived thus far. but i can definitely give them a taste if that's what they need to wipe the snide looks off their faces. i'll hate myself after for giving in to the temptation, though. i always do.

x: there's good in everything. if you look for it, there will always be good somewhere. you just need to look. happiness is a conscious decision. kindness is a conscious decision. being a decent person is a perpetual and conscious decision.

o: there's bad in everything, too, and the second i see it, i cannot unsee it. or forgive it, usually. why is it so much easier to see how much people fucking suck?

x: i want perfection. practice, constant effort, dedication-- i need perfection, i'll get perfection. if i can't, what's the point? if there's not even the possibility, what is the fucking point? how am i supposed to live if i know my lifelong goal is&always has been unattainable?

o. perfection isn't an objective possibility. how many times&different ways do i need to fail at the impossible reality before it actually settles in. it isn't possible. i'm dedicating my life to an impossible pursuit. more specifically, i'm committing myself to eternal&constant punishment for failure. why, though. why am i like this.

x. i hate myself so much sometimes i feel like i might actually lose my mind.

o. i am so full of pride sometimes i feel like i might burst at the fucking seams with it all.

x. i am terrified that i'm not capable of living unless it's fighting uphill. who am i without the struggle? who am i past the trauma?

o. if fighting uphill is what made me what i am, what does it matter if i never lose the edge? why should it matter if i need the extra motivation? if i can handle it, why should the struggle be a bad thing?

#so my bipolar diagnosis has been a central theme in my life for the past couple months right. #&i have a really. specific. relationship w my diagnosis lmao. bc its not like i can pretend im not certifiable lmao #but like also this diagnosis up until i literally lost parts of my sanity over turbo had only ever been used for several types #of negligence lmao. #&bc its been a Conversation lately ive been having to reflect on how i feel about it more than i have in. years probably lmao. #&like my thing is i have trouble telling the difference between being an unstable person vs being a complex person. #idk. something something what is the self without the Other? something something tree falls in the woods&no one hears it ect ect. #something something what makes anything real in regards to things so abstract&subjective? #bc until someone actually has the balls to slice me open&test my brain chemistry to put me out of my misery its all just a debate lmao. #idk lots of polarizing thoughts lately maybe. #... as always i dont really have a trigger warning specific for anything but it feels relevant anyway. #........... my doc is gonna have a field day. i dont want new meds but i have a feeling an adjustment is coming soon. 🫠🫠🫠 #on the plus side tho! i have successfully kept my weight up past 105lbs for a solid week. so. solid win in all my other med departments. #(... i just remembered i had a bf once who used to HATE reading all my ramblings lmao he said i talked way too much&it showed. #i'm so fucking happy we broke up before that could actually sink in enough to ruin my big fucking mouth LMAO) #(edit: my doc had a field day lmao.)

[strangerthings4theories]

#don't mind me just losing my sanity rn #IT'S FINE EVERYTHING IS FINE NO PROBLEMS HERE #JUST A FEW MORE HOURS~~~~ #see y'all on the other side

[hidrogenium]

#corrchoigilt #;saved #saved #S.KELLY?!?! THE WAY UR COOKING A WHOLE ASS MEAL HERE????? #NOT EVEN SOUP IN A POT ATTHIS POINT; SOUP IN A WHOLE ASS CAULDRON!! #<- the face of h.yde when he knows he will be able to extort j.ekyll over his feelings #LISTEN- if j.ekyll is not willing to let him out more often then he'll find a way o u t regardless #even if that means mentally destroying his other side #NONONO BUT HANG ON I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT #holy sh it how interesting this is ohmygod- #'idealistic daydream' U PUT IT IN WORDS SO PERFECTLY!!! #WHEN U PUT; 'he is in love with the idea of /being/ loved' U GET IT S.KELLY!!! U GET ITTTT #j.ekyll is an idealist; yet at the same time; a man on the verge of loosing all hope in one jump #he is constantly threading across this very thin line that is his sanity so its also why #its so easy for him to cling onto anything no matter how absurd or fantastical it seems #he wasnt like this before he got into this whole experiment on himself; or well; not in such an extreme lenght #but now its like;; anything that feels like could save him; he'll cling onto that desperately #the idea of love; love as something that could save him; which leads to putting cú into this high pedestal; like he's an angel to him #and also why its so easy to get to him; why its so easy for him to fall under fantasies #my mans is desperate for a thread of light even if its at the cost of being delusional to himself #not a v nice place to fall into; #love as salvation; as a last bit of hope; the last thread he can think of that could keep him from falling into despair #ur so right; theres just a lot of tragedy on all this ffrfr- #bc how could the purest emotion to humans (love) fail him? it must be the answer surely (is running around like a headless chicken)

[tequilajones]

I should really see a therapist (unfortunately im broke with no insurance so I'll just vent in the tags)

#I'm in a studio apartment I can barely afford #and have been applying to other jobs so that this 2nd job can help boost my income #but my dad sent me a link to a job fair and a cheap apartment 2 hours upstate and I know he's trying to help #but it made me break down in tears #mainly because I lived upstate for 2 years and I was miserable up there so even going up to around poughkepsie makes me anxious #he definitely knows how traumatic my time upstate was (panic attacks on a weekly basis #esp with the rise of anti-queer hate crimes) #but what really broke me was the idea of being more than an hour away from my entire support network (my friends) who dont have cars #like I know it's not unusual for ppl to move away or lose touch #but specifically these two have been my threads of sanity lately and have been by my side at my lowest lows and I'm scared of losing them #like sure zoom exists but idk #I was already on edge because of all the job hunting and financial stress #vent

[sunspira]

filling out medical history and reporting a hospitalization on january 6th 2021 due to a medically unidentified tooth ache is so funny it feels like SUCH a lie you would tell if you were at the capitol riot especially when the doctors couldnt find anything structurally wrong with it and sent me home like “lol lying bitch have a Tylenol”. I know for sure that tooth hell mess was on that same day because it was all over the news as in breaking news with updates and the only thing I had in the waiting room to distract me from the pain which was like , indescribable tbh and you know how extreme distress can lock a memory in your mind really well so im always like ugh worst night ever. but not for the country no just for me. if you were to jokingly ask “where were you on january 6th 2021″ id be like “i don wanna talk about it :(” hiding anything no its just that MY TOOF HURT and I thought I was dying of sepsis from a rotten tooth getting into my brain stem (is insanely irrational about medical scares im soerry) 

#finding out tooth decay can enter the blood stream and quickly cross the brain barrier and kill a person was bad for me #good for my physical health BAD for my mental health #i dont want to be dramatic but the pain was maybe the worst thing ive ever felt so that was why i was like ok im getting scared #at that point I just wanted maybe a good pain killer for my sanity but they were like . no. #id recently needed a root canal for the same tooth on the other side of my mouth so it was plausible this tooth was in bad shape too #still partly my bad for being crazy tho