#the oogly googles

[berceusespalace]

Googleman googling oogly boogly moogly

How am I supposed to respond to this... am I supposed to say the Berçoogly...

[skyenthusiast]

just got back from seeing doctor strange MoM. a freaking horror movie in disguise

me thruout the movie:

"huh we got action from the beginning of the movie" "wtf. when did stephen get so sexy?" "america looked so cute, protecc this kid!!! and i hope her mums live" "just give wanda her kids :((((( why is this so depressing" "holy shit this is so scary. why is this so scarrrryyyy. but i love you scarlet witch. so badass" "MORDO!!" "CAPTAIN CARTER!" "MARIAAAAA" "WTF BLACKBOLT???!! NO ONE TOLD ME THIS" "REEEEEDDD" "WHY THE FUCK NO ONE IS CHEERING WITH ME" "omG PROFESSOR X!!!! GUYS ITS PROFESSOR X WHY ARENT YOU SCREAMING. YOU GUYS SUCKS. but wtf is that wheelchair. oogly. bad representation from the comic." "fkcing horror movie" "wanda really just killed the two powerful male superheroes so easily just to show us the fighting between the girrrrlsssss" "why WOULD YOU INTRODUCE THEM JUST TO KILL THEM ALL" "wanda is so scary.. kdbafkbf zombie wanda from what if but not really?" "poor doctor strange.. he's so lonely in that universe. let me take you home.." "FIGHTIGN USING MUSIC NOTES. THIS IS COMEDY GOLD" "zombie dr strange!! BADASSSSSSS" "noo... wanda.. pls.. :(((( its okay baby.. you will get your own happiness. also, why didnt billy and tommy use their power.." "noooooo..... wanda.. I refuse to believe you just killed yourself" "DOCTOR STRANGE ACCIDENTALLY ADOPTING AMERICA CHAVEZ. HELL YES. I LVOE THIS TROPE" "WAIT WHO? *googles* WHAT? CLEAAAA????????!!!!!!!! CHARLIZE TERON AS CLEA? MY QUEEEEEEEEENNNN" "all the new characters that died... they will definitely come back right?? its another universe after all. i have faith"

alright those are the ones that i still can remember from the movie. lol ONE THING though. they really missed out for not bringing blonde!nebula from what if to the movie :/ maybe.. hopefully on other movies.. pls.. she would look so beautiful >.<

#marvel #spoilers #doctor strange #multiverse of madness

[jlf23tumble]

hiiii! here to ask your favourite fics from those golden(ah!) days of the early years of our fandom 🙌🏻🔥 they really have something special don't they?

This ask stems from your rather excellent list of some gems from the burial grounds orphan_account land, but yeah! That was a wild time, so many fics orphaned and deleted (I’m partial to a small group in 2013 who seemingly wrote for each other because their takes were way too spicy for those timesTM but right in line with the current era, let’s just say), plus they were all so short? Bliss! I pinged you privately because this is an ask that needs some parameters, and you opted for the hits of 2012, so here you go! I’m going to group them roughly by author because most of them are from the same “people,” but if you or anyone else wants my faves from a different year or ONLY from orphan_account (I think I counted 40+ in there), lemme know!

2012 fics

NOTE: I didn’t include the fics already on your excellent list, so just assume those are rec’d too!!

orphan_account...pour one out, eternally thankful they aren’t deleted (yet):

that boy’s got my heart in a silver cage. The way that Louis becomes addicted to controlling Harry, who’s just as into it, yeah, you’d swear this was from yesterday.

Third Wheel. The description of how a threesome with Harry/Nick/Louis eventually becomes a twosome of Harry/Louis.

Agent Provocateur.  THIS FIC, the way it seems to peer into the future and put it all out there, I always wonder where this author is and what they’re galaxy-braining about now.

it’s you i want to take apart. Same as above, this author watched that interview where Harry flipped out about the nail polish and dug deep into why.

LittleMousling...this author wrote so many fics I treasure, one of my faves, and I owe it to a recent anon for helping me connect the dot (I had random one-offs of theirs saved but hadn’t dug deeper, d’oh!)

Seventh Time’s the Charm. Yes, yes, this is about hands-free face-fucking, but the important point is in the author’s notes, and the idea that so many authors back then were writing from kinkmeme prompts, I feel like that doesn’t happen anymore?? Hmmmmm.

Apple Juice Is Good for You. LISTEN, this one was the fic that basically led me to create a full category to watersports in my bookmark classification system, it’s in the top three of fic I’d rec for it, outstanding!

Google Says Cut That Out. Getting into BDSM and checking out ye olde googly oogly for tips.

Like Every Party Is Just Us (Five). One of the defining moments of older fics is gang bang antics, you just don’t see that too often anymore?? This author wrote two!

Familiar Strangers. And this one’s the other one!! And it’s another kinkmeme prompt!

Nice Boy Seeks Same for Hook-Up. I think it’s probably ridiculously easy at this point do a CraigsList-related fic rec list, and this one be the top of mine.

Under the Mattress. Lots of painplay, gotta love it when the author’s note says “ever notice that Louis seems to hit Harry in the balls a lot?”

WIP Amnesty#2. Part of a series, and yeah, I’d rec the entire thing, but this one was my fave in it.

blackwayfarers...these fics are slightly longer than the other ones on this list, but not be a tremendous amount:

C’mon Miracle. I feel like a lot of early canon fic gives you a real feel for the pace of hotel/road life, and this one is almost entirely in that vein. But I love the concept of Liam actually paying for them to have their own room. Friendship!

take me to the riot. Oh, Leeds Fest, always in my heart, and this one also highlights something else of note in early fics, almost ZERO tags, just their names, not even Leeds, lmao. 

A one-off and an honorable mention:

When It Rains, It Shines, by 1drabbithole. This author wrote quite a bit of early fic, but this one’s my fave, all about a first kiss on the XF tour.

2012 ‘Verse, by ashavahishta. This one’s SORT of cheating because it’s a series whose last update was in 2013, but the rest of the series was written in 2012 and covers all the events in pretty good detail! Harry panic attack on New Year’s Eve! Etc. etc.!!

(It’s entirely possible I have more fics lurking somewhere, but I sorted on last updated, and here we are!)

#fic rec #one direction #2012 fic #if you want the orphan_account list send me a separate note! #so many good ones!! #i feel like 2013 has the most tbh #orphaned i mean #i think every year has good shit

[pearl-aquas]

Shitty lockscreens/wallpapers because i made too many

#a lot of these are whitewashed cause google is shitty #also i bettcha cant guess what my favorite color is #i cant believe im posting this shit christ #kpop lockscreen #shinee #red velvet #f(x) #bts #that jimin one was my lockscreen forevvvvverrrrrr #also that jjong one is oogly but it's oddly sentimental so yea

[incarnateirony]

*rubs temples*

You know. I’ve not been quiet about my distaste for W*ncest. But I’ve also not been in any way unclear, you enjoy whatever kinks or whatever you want in your own corner. If they’re trigger topics, tag it and bag it but enjoy it where it’s safe, same way you don’t watch r*pe videos in public. Like it’s not hard to have basic human decency.

But this new movement to try to de-fetishize W*ncest to the public is hinging in the realm of absurdity at this point. First people talking about “platonic W*ncest” for the last year (and I don’t think I need to explain to anyone how that literally doesn’t work, because *ncest is literally sexual engagement between closely related family members, and without sexuality, it’s just... being family), now “Gencest Bang” being endorsed by Wiki and, when asked what the fuck that even means by most people, trying to come back with some OH ITS OLD FANDOM GUARD garbage.

No fam. It’s old niche W*ncest lane garbage cycling back.

SuperWiki and GencestBang are really out here arguing GenCest as some widely received ancient fandom thing for "platonic". Less than 2 pages on Ao3 (2 works 05-06, a few 2012, mostly 2015+) 3 works on DA (all by the same account in 2k16) 2 works on FF.net (2016, 2017)

I'll give there's 211 calls on LJ, most of which are around 2k12. Half asking for them and not finding. A few trying to MAKE all S&D fics Gencest to match up to DeanCas fics.

There are 421 calls total, on the entire fucking internet, including duplicates and casual mentions, if you google search “Gencest” and “Supernatural” together with quotes to ensure both words are used (so you’re not pulling, I don’t know, some crackheads in another fandom pulling the same shit. “Gencest” without the word Supernatural returns 2,240 results - and lo and behold, the tag leads to My Little Ponies making out without “Supernatural” attached.)

To scale that, running the same search on “Destiel” and “Supernatural” returns approx 6,460,000 results. [or roughly 15,357x the usage] (without “Supernatural” since I gave Gencest that argument, I just pulled 9,230,000 results. Only Destiel is an SPN-fandom-unique-word, unlike theirs. Again.) I think google just gave up. 

(”W*ncest” [minus * obv] and “Supernatural” together returns 579,000 results. I’m not searching W*ncest without, because it’s a term general *ncest folks use which is why the hashtag’s most closely associated words are things like “Tits” and “milfs”) (Again, to scale that to W*ncest or Destiel usage with “Supernatural” included, that’s less than 9% the spoken usage of Destiel)

Basically, some tiny niche now thinking itself as old fandom guard maybe 20 strong at its peak, and I do mean its peak (while choosing to be absurdly generous that all 420~ mentions are “old time” despite the above info), might have used the fucking term and half tried to kidnap true Sam and Dean gen into it for most of its mentions and that's it.

Let's not play games, guys. If you're still incorporating an *ncest element but just doing pull-the-curtain like you're editing it for primetime non-premium TV channels, that's still fucking *ncest, you dumb motherfuckers. The same way if a curtain pulls in a DeanCas fic that is otherwise romantic or possibly suggestive, it's still a queer romance Destiel fic, and also isn't Gen.

THAT ISN'T GEN.

YOU LITERALLY CAN NOT HAVE GEN *NCEST.

THIS ISN'T FUCKING HARD.

STOP trying to act like you’re not normalizing *ncest. If you want to fap out to it, or kink out to it, or read it, or whatever, do it. But playing dance-around-the-words isn’t going to change what it fucking is, holy shit. No, *ncest will never be able to be painted platonically, even if you pull the curtain on coitus, because that’s still not platonic. A bromance without actual romance is gen. A bromance is not sexual, ergo it is not *ncest. Once you’re playing into Single Bed tropes but keeping it “clean” to the reading eye doesn’t make it magically not *ncest, and magically gen, any more than a PG-13 written fic of any other ship that still implies beyond it is Gen. 

I mean, if you want to play that game, everyone can just tag anything whatever the hell they want, and Dean and Cas can make oogly eyes and awkward touches and internal thoughts about their feelings and share a single bed and we can pretend that’s not a Destiel romantic fic and play that it’s Gen? NO. We can’t. No ship can. Not W*ncest, not “Gencest” whatever the fuck that is. 

Don’t even compare it to BroTP either, because they tried, and that’s not what BroTP is, either. BroTP is a pairing, nonsexualized and non romantic, that make a true pair duo. This isn’t fucking difficult, what the fuck? Maybe you’ve literally just been drinking the *ncest Kool-aid so fucking long you can’t discern that Bro-TP or brothers aren’t the same as *ncest. I don’t fucking know.

Fucking look.

I know these days most W*ncest shipping is grudge shipping to be contrary to Destiel, the same way they’ll grudge “ship” M*gstiel because “canon” while bagging on dumbass points at the same time, from the same account, calling it (blatantly falsely) necrophilia with Cas but it’s fine with Meg, or possession/noncon which... M*gstiel is the one that’s actually a potential squicky problem with. Like we’ve all seen it.

But just because you’re aware it’s 2018 and the civilized world, and GLAAD, have had it up to fucking here with people dragging LGBT content by attaching it to things like *ncest doesn’t mean you can just go and change the i to an e and put a G in front and pretend that’s not what you’re fucking doing. That’s even worse. It’s fucking conscious at this point.

No, I’m sorry, W*ncest will never be as publicly acceptable again as it used to be when the world was more daft about social issues and trigger topics, or when slash was everybody’s dirty little secret that people smuggled across the canadian border for fetishization purposes rather than people who are genuinely interested in LGBT content and representation.

Whether you feel Destiel does or doesn’t give that representation is fucking irrelevant. Stop trying to claw back to relevancy and open discussability with blatant horse shit just because you chose a kink ship that the world has pretty universally come to recognize as problematic. No, listing some random state it’s technically not illegal in doesn’t help. And definitely calling out random countries it’s in doesn’t either -- last time I saw a W*ncest shipper try that, a person from one of the listed countries came out and explained they don’t have a specific *ncest law there because it’s just deadass classified under r*pe so please don’t throw their country under the goddamn bus.

STOP.

You want to enjoy your W*ncest? Fine. But be fucking honest about it, stop trying to problematically attach to LGBT content just because beneath it all, you don’t like it, and you want to find any conversational avenue to destroy it by pretending they’re equal. Maybe in the chambers of Ao3 all things are equal, but we’re talking about public fucking spaces for the most part.

Sure, GenCest is gonna echo mostly on Ao3, but this is a bullshit tactic that continues to try to claw its way into open fandom lane discussions, or whatever else. 

You chose that ship. Own it. If you can’t own it for what it is, maybe it’s not the rest of us you should be having the problem with.

#supernatural #fandom #wank for ts #how can you be this intentionally stupid #tag your shit #own your shit #if you're not embarassed of your shit call your shit like your shit is #superwiki #gencest

[eldritchteletubbie]

I just called googling something “oogly googly” I think it’s time for me to stop

[wallpaperpainter]

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[amazingjackthefactfinder-blog]

It has begun. The blog that will bust the doors wide open.

I’m sure you’ve heard of muck raking and I am not one for buck taking so the buck stops here. I am going out into the world to finally once and for all get to the bottom of all the nonsense and do some cold hard journalism. Pie a la mode style. Meaning i may have a cold creamy gal riding on top of my crisp apples... but watch out she bites. She is one icy B and a half. Nevertheless I will go on to announce that as a promise to my never ending ever growing swarm of listeners I never sacrifice my integrity for a back alley handy and a warm plate of dessert. One other thing I would like to mention is that my theme songs will be extensions of my soul and eventually will amass to form a discography intent on making any record collection obsolete whether it be a slew of Blondie and Barbara Streisand Albums or the record collection owned by Kenny “The Tits” Daffledinger. When asked why they call him “The Tits”, “The Tits” replied “Well Jack, I’m what you could call a connoisseur. I don’t buy nothin’ unless it makes this phrase pop out of my mouth, ‘Oh lawdy lawdy I do declare these be the tits what my eyeballs oogly googly googling at’ I must say that 8 or 9 times a week, and that’s just while I’m out with my grandma.  I am also a certified fan of the female anatomy particularly of the booby area so I’m goin’ for a 25% tranny swap under the hood if you know what I mean.” I reply, “No Kenny, but go on, I am enthralled.” Kenny adamantly exclaims, “Well tell me this now Jack, WHY is it that girls get to have sweater puppies when my apartment complex wouldn’t even let me have a pet rock. WHY is it that man has not yet evolved to lactate? AND WHY have you never just racked on a pair of 36 C donkey pillows and gone with the partial sex change. Aint got shit now Jack where are your answers? Well ill tell you what, my chesticles will never see the light of day with you in the room that much is for sure. These are my Tits. I am The Tits. My tits are the Tits so call me Tits, remember... The one with the bangin butterscotch hard candy nipples.” And that was all “The Tits” was willing to share with us that day he said something about pollen in the air and ran off to get some alkaline water from the water store just adjacent of the senior citizen version of hooters, droopies on Mackeral Blvd.

An introductory message and guarantee of service by The Amazing Jack himself.

This is the Amazing Jack reporting for reporter duty. This is my Manhattan Project. An adventure so death defying and deplorable yet heart warming and soul filling it will shape the fate of the world in the same fashion Chicken soup for the Soul gave you a faster decision on what to read while dropping brown. Remember Heroes live forever. But legends never die. And the hallowed reporters creed states “Never shy away from a task so daunting it seems like trying to floss a lion’s back molar when the lion is suffering from a toothache.” (Reporter Creed: subsection 34N-fi-alpha-4) Danger and a story so juicy you’ll be asking if this is an expose on Wrigley’s Juicy Fruit gum. But thats far from the case this path on which we are about to embark is something much more life threatening and repulsive. And we reporters get off to that shit. So to recap Heroes forever, legends immortal. Reporters? They just inject the Novocaine and root canal that overgrown house cat till our restless minds are at peace once more.

With great power does not come great responsibility in reality alongside great power comes manslaughter government corruption and if youre lucky a sweet chopper with a wicked amount of horsies pumpin through the engine. All of which I have leads on and the resulting stories will eventually put your ass where your hat goes with the shistorm of raw unfiltered news that comes in your ears and plops its balls on your favorite addition of home and garden. “Ah hell no not my dream house ‘zine, it’ll be weeks until the next edition, I’m going to march on Washington” You’ll cry as you rally your multiracial family and tell them the news you just heard. But it will be too late old news is cold news so go drink a cold brew and wait for the next delightfully painful kick to the groin that we call current events.

With vengeance,

The Amazing Jack

Legal Disclaimer

(The Amazing Jack is not a registered trademark and is not held down by any one career. Journalistic skills may be lacking as The Amazing Jack is mainly shoe salesman at a shoe store in Southern California, cannot guarantee the sole proprietor  ownership of this title: The Amazing Jack, Amazing is a subjective term, Jack  may possibly not astonish or excite you, Call your doctor if you experience dry heaves or scabies, toxic chemicals have been used in the production of this blog, all animals may seem hurt but realistically that female miniature pincer was just being a little bitch that day, vengeance may fall upon you by someone other than The Amazing Jack and in such cases, swift blows to the kidneys and spleen have been experienced, Warning do not repeat anything you have read on this blog or listened to in our respective fact finding missions, this is of course if you care whatsoever about your social status or the way people rate your intelligence, otherwise take your “given up sweat pants” out of there secret hiding place and binge on all of The Amazing Jack’s content, talk excessively about obscure insider information, and purchase any and all of our non explosive merchandise [Warning product Amazing Jack DIY Dynamite assault charges mislabeled DIY Dynamite Dance Party and military grade explosives were sold in children’s activity aisles all across 8 countries including the US  Mexico and Many Nordic locations.  All sales are final, yes, even for merchandise our LLC charged to any stolen credit card you left in our flagship store/roller derby rink, The owner will find a place for the 17 7XL Amazing Jack Daygo Lyfestyle Signature Tube Top Wife beater as it is illegal in all 50 states and us Territories to throw away materials rated with exceedingly high uranium and lead content. [This is a specific but public message about your “stolen” credit card, we are holding a VISA Platinum credit card for Gino Togenclap who claims we here at the The Amazing Jack Production Team have been misusing his identity. This ungrateful piece of filth lives on 3853 Hermdiddle Coast Way, Sweet Lips, Tennessee 38340 Gino tends to be home in the mornings and evenings so for all you scavengers out there only case his residence at this time don’t get those sticky fingers just yet. Use excessive force if necessary to acquire Mr. Togenclap’s  valuables and burn his family photos for good measure. Gino we don’t regret to inform you the new season of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt has come out on streaming networks but our office has been swamped with murky mud water and what looks like alligators and air boat parts so the mail people don’t pick up our packages anymore, this means we must continue our subscription in your name to hulu, nfl sunday ticket, netflix, amazon prime, Omaha steak delivery, the office wide Disneyland yearly passes we each got as bonuses last quarter, also our CFO Tommy Rimshot was saying he was experiencing some mild to sever spinal pain so we had you hook him up with the deluxe weekly package down at Attitude Adjustment, it’s that new chiropractor that took the idea of being sarcastically really mean and bad at his job like the folks down at dicks last resort, Tommy goes down there first thing they do is just hit him with a baseball bat right below his 7 cervical spine vertebrae and they fracture his hole spinal column, then they yell just kidding! Tommy was laughing so hard he was screaming in pain, 6 months of physical therapy with a lifetime of Oxycontin and he keeps saying he cant believe how dedicated the employees are to providing a comical and impacting experience for every customer, he has no idea how they knew he didn’t have insurance and would have to pay out of pocket, well we just put it on your card, you’ve got to try it out Gino, maybe when you get your credit card back, which I highly doubt will be any time this winter, possibly 2019. I can get you a good referral have em fuck up your back real good then fix it, That’s what we do to all of our friends and associates who “Talk too much” anyway this is meant to be a legal document that will hold up in court I better hold all the fraud extortion robbery and forgery chitchat for when i face time you, gotta jet talk to you soon Big G]  Remember we also have a you break it you buy it policy on The Amazing Jack’s patented mustache If you break it you must pay the yearly $89,000 disabled severance from mustache package and if The Amazing Jack may happen to pass away from a sudden spelunking accident, act of nature, act of God, or point blank bullet wound to the facial area after severance from said official patented Amazing Jack Mustache the person/person’s responsible must pay out The Amazing Life Insurance policy Jack took out at age 26. Which is $5,000,000 to each of his 4 children and $800,000 to his pet brown bear to cover room and board along with the domesticated brown bear’s stamp collecting habit.)

Sincerely,

Ron Gotabitabeli

Head of Amazing Jack’s Crackpot Legal Defense Squadron (trademark)

#breaking news #muckraker #underground #topsecret #publicaccess #honesty #Integrity #justice #JackAmazedmeandalligotwasthislousyhashtag #legalteam #storiesthatmatter #factchecker #oneblogtorulethemall #onereportertoreportit