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primofate · 9 months

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Genshin Angst Headcanons - Why the two of you broke up

Note: Had an unexpected free day! I haven't written in a while, please excuse the mistakes, if any.

Disclaimer at the end of the post

Warning: Some are pretty predictable. Each of them have their own issues, lore wise, so some are lore heavy. You might not agree with some of them, but its how I see it, so to each their own. Let me know what you think! Some are quite angsty. Some scenes it's you breaking up with him and some are vice versa. Didn't feel like writing Razor, Venti and Xingqiu.

Characters: Aether, Albedo, Alhaitham, Ayato, Baizhu, Bennett, Chongyun, Cyno, Dainsleif, Diluc, Gorou, Heizou, Itto, Kaeya, Kaveh, Kazuha, Lyney, Neuvillette, Scaramouche, Tartaglia, Thoma, Tighnari, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Personal Favourites in this work: Lyney, Itto, Kazuha

Aether

Sister issues. Enough said.

He realized he didn't have enough time to spare romancing with someone.

Somewhere along the way he felt guilt that he was enjoying his time with you while his sister went through some sort of villain origin story that seemingly turned her bad.

Top off all the adventuring, searching, solving problems for other people that he did...Where did that leave you, exactly?

"...I'm sorry, Y/N... I just... I don't think this is the right time for me to be together with you,"

Albedo

Contrary to popular belief it wouldn't be his lack of time or extreme focus on his alchemical experiments that would break the two of you up. He knows how to manage his time.

It was the RESULTS of experiments and his research that would put him away from you.

The possibility that HE or his world, was way too dangerous for you.

How many "Albedos" did Rhinedottir really create? Was there more than three? Perhaps four, five? And what happens when you come face to face with another Albedo?

"I'm afraid...There are far too many dangers surrounding myself... There are answers that I can't find...and perhaps that's the reason why my answer is to part ways with you,"

Alhaitham

Too much of a nonchalant attitude.

He expressed some kind of interest in you...but it's like... once in a blue moon. 95% of the time you're not sure if he's really into you. It almost seems like he's more into that book he reads all the time.

Simply just not good at expressing himself. Like, at all. Hides behind a "whatever works" and "I don't care about what other people think of me" attitude, unfortunately that seems to include you.

Is so straightforward that sometimes it hurts, but he's really just telling the truth through logical analysis.

will act like the breakup didn't hurt nor affect him at all. In turn it hurts you instead.

"I see. So you've had enough of me... And you only spoke up now? Pointing it out earlier could've diverted us from this path...If that's how you feel already I suggest that we stop seeing each other,"

"That's it? You're not even going to try and work it out with me?"

"What's there to work out? You've made yourself clear. You're not satisfied with the way I treat you, and I'm afraid I'm not going to change the way I act just for your pleasure... It'd be more meaningful for you to find someone who fits your criterias,"

Ayato

entering a relationship with a noble was not as easy as one thought.

It's not just about being together forever and feeling lucky because Ayato is rich and your whole life is set, it's also the not fitting in, the etiquette, the whispers from townfolk that you were too ordinary for him, the work that you needed to do if you were to become his wife.

All that was not really a big problem for you, but Ayato seemed not to know of your struggles, he was extremely busy, and when he wasn't, he seemed to think that everything was well and fine, since you were getting all your basic needs met and even more.

"...So I'm sorry, Ayato. This is just... All too much for me. I'm sorry,"

"...I understand. Forgive me, it seems that I've overlooked a lot of things...Perhaps it is as you say, that it'd be better for us to grow apart rather than grow together,"

Baizhu

because he is a ticking time bomb, no matter which way he looked it's not going to end well for both of you.

He either dies early or lives forever. In both scenarios he anticipates that the two of you are just going to be in a world of hurt.

Besides, he didn't mean to get so attached to someone in the first place, he knew his quest for immortality was long and arduous. You didn't deserve to walk that difficult road too.

While breaking up, will conceal the fact that he's only thinking of you and will possibly hurt you in the process.

"I'm sorry, but it's for the best. I ask that you continue going forward without me, there's no space for you in my... ideal future,"

Bennett

We all know it...it's his bad luck. However, it wasn't YOU who had a problem with it, it was HIM.

You understood that his bad luck was just some extended part of him, plus it's not like it was always bad, there were a lot of good times too. Plenty!

But the guilt ate him up whenever the two of you were stuck in a seemingly impossible scenario and predicament, brought on by his luck. He just had enough of it one day.

"I...I can't keep doing this to you every day! It's not fair..."

will be on the brink of tears before he even starts.

"Maybe it's better if you find someone else to adventure with, Y/N, sorry...!"

runs away before you can even get a word in.

Chongyun

Thinks he's not good enough in every aspect. It's really, seriously not about you. He thinks he's lacking in everything. Strength, maturity, experience, confidence.

So badly wants to stay with you but feels like he's not good enough and thinks that you're better off with someone else.

"D-Don't misunderstand... It's not because I don't like you anymore... I just...Please find someone else!"

Cyno

his bad jokes and TCG addiction. just kidding, you're not that shallow.

A lot of people are intimidated by him being the General Mahamatra because he gives importance to justice. While you, who had seen a bit more of him than other people had, it seemed more of an obsession to uphold the Akademiya's law and integrity.

This was not a big problem to you, you liked how he was serious at work.

Until one day when you were accused of plagiarising one of your papers and Cyno was the one sent to give you a first offense warning. The Akademiya knew of your relationship, that's probably why they sent him, to make it harder on the two of you.

Cyno didn't listen to your explanations on how it was an honest mistake, he still gave you the warning that you "deserved"

From then on it had just been different between the two of you, so it was really a mutual breakup. Or so you thought.

"...After that, I just realized that maybe this isn't the right time for us... We're both working for the Akademiya, we both take our jobs seriously...Unfortunately that seems to just be getting in the way of us...I think it's best if we stop seeing each other,"

"...I see." he pauses for a minute, as if tossing your words in his mind. "I...agree. Parting ways would certainly make work easier for both of us...it's the professional thing to do,"

Dainsleif

Has not moved on from his past.

Sure, everyone has their own baggage to carry, their own history to live through...but Dainsleif has heavier things than that. He seemed to wake up every day thinking of Khaenri'ah and the days long past. Was it regret? Nostalgia? Loneliness? You didn't know. You just knew that he wasn't really completely THERE with you in the present. Part of him still lived in the past.

When you explained that you felt like the two of you were not moving forward together and that it seemed like he wanted to go back to the past instead, he got offended.

"...My past is something that I carry forever, you'd claimed that you understood that," he starts.

"I do! But carrying it with you and letting it drag you backwards are two different things!"

He falters for a moment, only to leave you with his last words before turning away from you forever: "You will never understand, the weight that I carry,"

Diluc

is too guarded. You'd been friends for a long, long, long, long time before he decided he could let you in enough and be more intimate with you.

Even then everything was going at a snail's pace, though you were extremely patient with him.

The biggest problem with Diluc was that the two of you would progress one day, take a step forward, and then the next day it was like the two of you took two steps back.

Example: The two of you went out for a simple stargazing excursion late one night, it was nice and he had been incredibly affectionate. The next day he had trouble even meeting your gaze, and disappeared to do his work. It was also a little awkward during dinnertime. This scenario had happened more than once.

Hint: the closer he got to you the more afraid he became, thinking that he would one day lose you too.

"I...I can't. I love you but I...I've waited far too long. I'm sorry. I'm tired of this endless chase for you!"

He couldn't even say a thing. He'd wanted to ask you to stay, to wait for him a little longer, but he already knew how incredibly selfish that would have been. Instead, he grimaced, and looked away from your gaze, trying to find something worthwhile to say. There was only silence for a few moments.

"Goodbye Diluc," that's when you turned away.

Gorou

worships Kokomi too much and your insecurities just kept circling around in your head.

You know its his job. You know he isn't like that but the problem was YOU and not him.

Simply said you let your insecurity eat up the relationship between the two of you.

You couldn't bring yourself to say that you were jealous of the way he admired Kokomi so you broke up with him with another reason in tow.

Unfortunately, you're not a very good liar face to face so you did a butthole move and actually broke up with him through a letter. You just couldn't face him and tell him why.

All you mentioned in the letter was that you needed time to think and be away from him, and told him not to worry because it was your problem, not his.

Poor Gorou reread that letter over and over, trying to understand what went wrong.

Heizou

is just a natural flirt. You're not sure if he's doing it on purpose or not and you're not sure if he's even aware he's like that.

Anyway you'd seen him getting overly friendly (just another word for flirting) with a few other people a couple of times. You didn't let it get to you the first, fourth or even eighth time but you realized that he KNOWS that you're watching him do that.

So you confront him about it, but he claims that it's just his way of gathering information from others. People like to hear good things and some people are more susceptible to flirtatious comments so he resorts to that for his investigation sometimes.

You didn't really completely buy it and even if you did, it's not like this was healthy for your relationship. You just couldn't make yourself comfortable with it.

*You just chalked it up to the two of you being incompatible.

"I'm just not comfortable with that...I don't think I have to say sorry for how I feel but...I'm sorry anyway because I know you're just doing your job... It's probably best if we part ways here..."

"Is there any way to change your mind?" he genuinely asks.

You only give a lopsided smile. "You're a detective, I think you already know the answer to that,"

Yet he didn't stop you from walking away.

Itto

Kept breaking promises because he was too airheaded or too occupied doing something "stupid" with the kids or with his gang.

Pretty soon it just felt like you were an afterthought while everyone else in his life took precedent.

Got a ramen date? Oops, sorry! Got caught up looking for a strong onikabuto in the forest!

Needed his help to move some things? Gah, he was vandalising the bulletin boards, so he's running a bit late!

What's more you didn't actually mind that carefree, airheaded side of him...but it really got to you when he couldn't even seem to make you a priority. Not once.

He only realized that when he came running, late again, and stood face to face with a crying you.

"Hey sorry Y/N, I was just--...Why are you crying?!" is completely dumbfounded and clueless, mostly because when he came late, you had always shrugged it off with a smile on your face, or so he thought. This time you had a completely different reaction.

"I hate you...*hic* I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!"

Shocked beyond belief. It wasn't like you to just blow up like that, but he couldn't do anything except watch you turn and run away from him after that exclamation.

Kaeya

Sometimes you're not sure if he takes you seriously.

Recently, he's not where he says he is, you don't know why he doesn't just tell you where he is.

He said he'd be working late, but then you find out he's at Angel's Share.

He said he'll be at Angel's Share, but then you catch word from Jean that he's out on a late mission.

He said he's escorting a caravan to Mondstadt but he's actually on assignment in Liyue.

It came to the point where you altogether just stopped looking for him cause half of the time you couldn't find him. It's like he's avoiding you or something, which, actually, seems just about right since he's been so busy with "work"

It reached a breaking point when, for a week, you were unable to bring him the lunch you prepared...because he was not where he said he was going to be. It was starting to get annoying.

"I don't understand why you're lying to me! Why do you have to tell me you'll be at Angel's Share this afternoon when you're not? Do you realize you make me walk all the way there only to come all the way back with nothing achieved?"

"I'm sorry snowflake, that wasn't my intention," though he still chuckles despite knowing full well that you were about to turn away.

"You know what, let me know when you're ready to stop making jokes. Until then, don't bother contacting me,"

He just didn't expect you to actually walk away from him.

Kaveh

Entertains everyone and anyone. Naturally kind at heart, will stop for anyone in trouble...even that flirtatious man/woman who is clearly just pining for his attention.

No he doesn't quite realize this.

The same person had asked for his help at least 4 times now and all 4 times he had been happy to offer a helping hand.

The last straw was when he was invited into the stranger's house, they had apparently needed someone to help them move and re-arrange furniture and he did, working till almost dinner time.

You'd caught him right by the person's door, because Kaveh was actually honest and told you he'd be helping them today, but the person was clearly eyeing Kaveh rather flirtatiously.

"Come again next time," you heard the person say rather happily. Kaveh only replies with "If I have nothing else to do, I suppose,"

"Kaveh, they're coming onto you and you keep letting it happen!"

"I'm not certain what you're talking about...They just needed some help around their house, nothing suspicious happened at all. Even if there was, I won't let anything happen between me and a stranger!"

"Then STOP helping them!"

"There isn't anything wrong with lending a hand...It was a quick move of things, that's all,"

"How would YOU feel if I just went into someone's house and kept helping them "move" things?"

"...I would think that's nice of you,"

You actually threw your hands up. "Oh, forget it! You know what, for someone who LOVES helping others, you're not doing such a great job of helping ME," then walked away and never came back. "Good riddance,"

Kazuha

He's a wandering samurai. You knew what you were getting into but you didn't expect dating him to be so hard.

He was gone for weeks on end, and you were not getting on that boat with him. In essence the two of you were just not ready to follow each other to the end's of the Earth, and that was fair. The two of you were young.

Kazuha kind of saw it coming, whenever he visited you, you seemed less spirited and he had an inkling as to why. The time apart was just too much for you.

It was a rather clean break actually. A real mutual breakup that the two of you agreed on.

"...You could say it's just not the right time for us," you even managed to laugh under your breath and he did the same, though it was barely audible.

"...Mm. There are matters that you need to attend to here...and there are things that I need to do out there," he slowly stood up from his sitting position next to you and still gazed at you rather lovingly. "...Perhaps, in another world, you and I are bound together,"

You gazed back forlornly, "...Just not in this one, it looks like,"

Lyney

because he will always choose his siblings over you. Always.

Though that's not a bad thing because you also think that family is important...somewhere along the way you realized that family is the ONLY thing he had and saw.

Example: Lynette and you had gotten ill at the same time one winter morning. Perhaps it was the cold that was passing around Fontaine. Lyney had been so worried about Lynette, that he seemed to have forgotten about you for the next few days. In fact, Lyney didn't even realize that you caught the cold too. You had only heard from Freminet, who you happened to cross paths with, that Lynette was also ill.

You thought that incident was the end of it, but really it seemed that whenever Lyney wanted to hang out with you, Lynette had to be there too. You tried to understand...after all there's still that mystery of disappearing women in Fontaine.

The breakup was induced when Lyney completely forgot about your birthday, because Freminet's was around the same time as yours. You helped Lyney prepare everything for Freminet, and said nothing about your own.

You realized that there was nothing wrong with choosing family over everything else...but the problem here was that Lyney didn't even have space for you in the first place.

So you left without saying anything. You figured he'd get over it quick. You had even gone so far as to move away from the main city of Fontaine and out into another island, because what would you say if he found you? That you were jealous of his siblings? You weren't going to ruin a family like that and it wasn't right to make him choose...so you just left without a word.

Neuvillette

Had a whole brainrot for this man:

Part 1

Part 2

Scaramouche

surprisingly it's not his anger issues.

It's the way he wouldn't acknowledge your relationship. You wonder how you even got into one with him.

There's no public show of affection, but even behind closed doors it rarely happened.

You knew that he was going to be like that, and so you didn't mind it all that much.

It was getting a bit much though when, out in public, he would walk further in front of you and refused to walk next to you. When he pretended like he didn't even know you. When he didn't stop to help you even when another man had shown interest in you, bordering on uncomfortable.

The more time passed the more you simply felt unloved...but for some reason you still blamed yourself.

"...I...don't know. Maybe you find me undesirable, or just...unappealing. Maybe you're embarrassed of me or...or..." maybe you just didn't care in the first place, you thought to yourself.

There was a long silence. Of you turning your gaze away, of him still piercing into yours. And then...

"Tsk...don't waste my time...Leave if you want to leave, door's open,"

Tartaglia

This one is simple. It's his obsession for fighting plus his complete disregard for himself. It's a constant heart attack for you. At some point the anxiety is just too much for you to handle.

Imagine living every day just wondering if he's safe at the same time knowing that he just loves to look for trouble.

The foul legacy that you know of, he uses it with disregard as well, despite knowing that it wasn't good for him.

And there are even days where you know he was heavily wounded but didn't go to you, in an attempt to shield you from worry.

It's a constant battle trying to stay sane and unworried, until one day it all just becomes too much.

"...Nothing I say will change anything, Tartaglia. This is who you are...This is who you need to be..." you whisper while bandaging his knuckles. He lets out a short hum.

It was silent all up until you finished with his hand, you squeeze it gently. "...I love you but...I can't keep doing this to myself, I'm tired...more so than I have ever been before,"

He lets your hand slip away from his knuckles, and that was the last he saw of you.

Thoma

This one is also simple. He was always taking care of others and running errands for others that he sometimes just couldn't catch a break.

Just a classic case of not enough time for you since he had a job to do for the Kamisato Clan.

He knows it, and feels awful about it. So he's the one who makes the move.

"It hurts that I can't give you what you deserve, Y/N. This isn't it... You deserve more than this but I can't give you that and I'm sorry. Please look for the love that you deserve,"

Tighnari

Remembers everything. Can be critical of things you've done, specially if he thinks there's a better way to do it.

Simply said you just feel stupid in front of him sometimes.

He doesn't mean to, but he sometimes forgets to appreciate or give praise to the things that you do well and even if he does, it tends to be short lived compared to his constructive criticisms.

Pretty soon you felt like he only looks at the bad things you do, and never the good. Though he was really only trying to teach and guide you as an equal.

He in fact feels that you are one of the few people who can keep up educational conversations with him.

The problem is he kind of forgets that you're his lover, and that you would enjoy his praise and affection from time to time.

"Do you... Do you ever have anything nice to say other than 'good work' or 'great observation'?" the words were out of your mouth before you could hold yourself back. Sometimes it was tiring to feel like you weren't good enough.

There's a flash of surprise that crosses Tighnari's expression for a split second, before he recovers. "...Had I not been praising your work enough lately? My apologies... It has a lot of merits, I just thought that you wanted my opinion on how to make it better,"

You opened your mouth to say something, but closed it again right after to ponder on his words. Somehow even that had managed to make you feel embarrassed. It was here you knew that the problem also lied within yourself.

"...Sorry, Tighnari...I think I'll need some time alone,"

He obliges quickly and asks. "That's reasonable. When would you like me to come back?"

"...Let me rephrase that... I need some time away. From us."

Xiao

Unfortunately there's a lot of things wrong here... his lack of affection. His aloof personality. His dedication to his yaksha duties. Despite that he does actually try to be gentlemanly or respectful of you.

The worst of it is that he didn't know how to be in a relationship, in other words he just wasn't ready for one, or perhaps he would never be ready for one.

He didn't understand that humans craved companionship and sometimes touch. He didn't understand that meant having to favour you over others, sometimes even putting you first over his yaksha duties.

Worst of it all was when he shut himself off from you, sometimes for days on end, when his karmic debt was too high. He only really did it to protect you, but never realized how isolated that made you feel.

When you confronted him about it, he felt attacked. Hiding away was the only way he knew how to cope...why couldn't you understand that?

"Let me help you, Xiao,"

"I don't need your help!" his tone would make you wince and just like that he disappears into a billow of smoke.

You never returned to Wangshu Inn after that. If he couldn't let you in, there was no use trying to knock on his heart. Xiao being Xiao, never sought you ought again either.

Zhongli

He had experienced so many things and you had listened to many a tales from him.

This is what caused you to realize that you hadn't even experienced life at all, and yet here you were willing to tie yourself down to him.

It just didn't feel like it added up. Here he was with all this knowledge of the world and here you were who had never even stepped outside of Liyue. By no means were you stupid, but you felt that you could be better not only for him, but for yourself if you learned more.

There was just such a huge gap in life experiences, and though you never expected to get to his level (he was a God who had lived for a long time, you would never catch up to him) you at least wanted to see what was out there with your own eyes instead of through his stories.

He understood that wholeheartedly, and had no qualms in letting you go.

"You will always have a place with me, Y/N. No amount of lifetimes will change that,"

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Disclaimer: Relationships will always have some sort of problem along the way, maybe big, maybe small but I just want to reiterate that breaking up is not always the solution. Communicating is very important. So to those of you who like taking fanfiction too seriously, let it be known that this is just a work of fiction. I don't actually suggest breaking up with someone as soon as there is the slight indication of a problem (Just saw someone commenting on a similar themed post for Haikyuu that this wouldn't happen in the real world if both parties were mature... I mean, sure, but, idk, you must be fun in parties... it's called fiction for a reason...)

#genshin angst #genshin breakup #genshin headcanons #lyney x reader #genshin impact angst #lyney angst #neuvillette angst #neuvillette x reader #alhaitham x reader #alhaitham angst #cyno angst #cyno x reader #scaramouche x reader #scaramouche angst #diluc angst #tartaglia angst #itto angst

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itsclydebitches · 11 months

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Just finished Good Omens 2 and I'm honestly boggling at the Aziraphale hate because yes, his decision led to the angsty cliffhanger, but it makes SO much sense for his character. Not just in a "Religious brainwashing and sunk-cost fallacy" kinda way but also a "Aziraphale has no reason to believe this isn't the perfect solution" way. That scene among the nebula is crucial because it establishes that Crowley loved being an angel—reveled in his ability to create and allow his creations to grow kinda like plants—and the only problem was that someone else was calling the shots, someone who wouldn't listen to his criticism. Aziraphale has also spent 6,000+ years watching Crowley do good, all the while forced to deny the fact that he's "nice" lest embracing his original nature get him into trouble with hell. Now, Metatron comes along with an offer that fixes everything in one fell swoop. Crowley can be an angel again, be nice without censure, his ideas and criticisms will hold weight because he'll be answering to Aziraphale, and they'll be together.

It strikes me that Aziraphale isn't there when Crowley sees Gabriel's trial, ergo he likewise doesn't see the (non)acknowledgement that there's an institutional problem up in Heaven. There just happen to have been two archangels who called it quits. Same when Gabriel blurts that phrase out to Crowley. Aziraphale has always been more blind to the ways in which Heaven is "toxic" (for very understandable reasons) and this season he's continually sheltered from new evidence of its structural problems. The plot just preaches to the choir: Crowley. He likewise wouldn't see the conflict Gabriel and Beelzebub have caused as evidence of an underlying problem because that's a problem he and Crowley will no longer share. Why would they be worried about Heaven still being unable to accept partnerships between angels and demons when Crowley will no longer be a demon? And that's something he presumably wants based on Aziraphale's memories of him and the ongoing admission that he's lonely.

The way I see it, they got what they thought they wanted at the start of Season 2. Heaven and Hell are keeping an eye on them, but functionally they're left alone. Crowley can spend all the time he wants with Aziraphale and nothing comes of that except that they're both continually named traitors and the higher-ups grumble about it. If Gabriel had never shown up, things should have been perfect based on Crowley's "Let's just run away and have each other's company" standards. Better, even, considering that they get to be together on their beloved Earth, rather than being bored out in Alpha Centauri without any sushi, plants, books, or Bentleys. And yet... Crowley doesn't strike me as particularly happy. Because, you know, based on that kiss he wants to be with Aziraphale, not just literally be with him, but the point of this post is that his "Let's run away and be an 'us'" falls totally flat when he doesn't explain that specific desire to Aziraphale; the desire to change what an 'us' means. From Aziraphale's perspective they're already an 'us.' That was the entire point of "our side" in Season 1 and now they can continue to be 'us' up in Heaven. Plus, Aziraphale likely sees this as a sacrifice on his part. He will give up his bookshop, his Earthly indulgences, take on the responsibilities of leadership (which I don't think he actually wants for a variety of reasons), and spend the rest of eternity in a place where he's felt so small because he thinks that's what Crowley wants. Crowley was happy as an angel. Crowley wanted them to be together without risk of permanent discorporation. They were able to achieve that after not-Armageddon and he still wasn't happy... so surely those two things together will do the trick. Crowley never actually articulates how he wants their relationship to change and the kiss comes much too late, when he's already rejected what Aziraphale must see as a perfect, selfless solution he's secured for them. Even if Crowley wasn't always moving too fast for him, an overture of romance isn't going to go well after that.

Is this crushing and angsty and devastating as a hiatus? Damn straight, my heart it breaking. But it's a good setup. More importantly, it makes perfect sense for their characters, particularly when they're still talking past one another. Aziraphale is someone who has always moved more slowly as a matter of course, as an angel he has remained immersed in the rhetoric of Heaven, his main avenue of breaking free of that (Crowley) has a huge communication problem (to say nothing of his own denial. He only made headway with the help of Nina and Maggie, seconds before Aziraphale shows up), and Metatron (in a no doubt incredibly manipulative manner) has just offered Aziraphale a job that presumably makes him happy AND Crowley happy AND allows him to maintain the moral this-is-how-the-universe-works perspective he's had since he was literally created. Of course he's going to say yes to all that!! And sure, there are problems in Heaven, Aziraphale isn't completely blind, but he can fix them now that he's in charge. How? Well... he'll figure that out later! Kinda like how he's been making plans on the fly this entire season. That seems logical from his perspective, right? It's not like he's gotten a crash-course in the concept of the master's tools never being able to dismantle the master's house...

#Good Omens #Good Omens spoilers #Good Omens 2 #Good Omens 2 spoilers #GO2 #GO2 spoilers #mymetas #this is so rough and I'll probably write better metas later #but I just have FEELINGS RIGHT NOW OKAY

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theminecraftbee · 4 months

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being in true sexyman nostalgia mode today (on account of. IT'S BEEN ONE YEAR BABY.) i think one of the most fascinating things about it is that we will never manage to do that again. like, not in a "we couldn't organize it better" way; there were better ways to do the spreadsheet, we would just turn off comments on posts and anon asks from day one so that we wouldn't then get people accusing us of censorship while we tried and failed to control the tide of things that ended up in the comments and inbox, we'd definitely have a WAY higher non-hermit contingent, both thanks to qsmp and thanks to the sexyman blog and medusa now having MUCH wider reach to other corners of the fandom and the original spread not all rooting at me, etc.

but the reason we couldn't do it again is that i don't know if we could ever replicate the exact circumstances that lead to it blowing up quite to the extent it blew up.

it was while tumblr polls and doing tumblr poll brackets on tumblr itself was still new-ish, and people were still excited about them. the idea of a mcytblr bracket was basically brand new; i won't claim we did it FIRST (because i have no idea if we did and doubt we did), but certainly we did it big first. so there's that; we can never again invent in real time "shit people are sending us threats about fraud lets legalize fraud because its funny, we can't stop it, and that neutralizes that drama as a thing anyone will take seriously", and then in turn accidentally invent a fandom culture of. um. wide-spread voter fraud.

(i don't know if we should apologize for, uh, causing the specific way mcytblr voter frauds. i still think it was better than the alternative at least, especially after seeing how so many other polls crashed and burned after us. there were MANY things we could have done better but i have seen SO MANY ways we could have done things worse since then so i think we came out looking pretty okay.)

but also: february 2023 was a very different time in mcytblr. we were in a hermitcraft dead period, where most of the hermits were either on vacation or playing tcg (which was fun, but didn't end up generating that much fandom activity by that time in february). the former dsmp crew was very much doing Nothing (and in that awkward space when the entire fandom knew dsmp 2 was never happening, but also people were still claiming it would happen, so it was just... busy waiting). qsmp didn't exist yet. there was no ongoing life series and wouldn't be for some time. i think even the dominioners and lifestealers were in a fairly dead zone. there was very little new for people to be excited about, mcyt content-wise.

enter: our poll. our poll which cleo then thinks its funny to call out on twitter. our poll, which was not only new mcyt content for the fandom to interact with (thanks to the fact we KEPT GETTING CC INTERACTIONS???), but participatory.

for about two weeks, we were the mcyt event de jour.

and like. the thing is. now we're in february 2024. mcyt is BOOMING. a new hermitcraft season JUST STARTED. we came off of vault hunters before that. meanwhile, qsmp just restarted and is, if i'm understanding correctly, booming. they just added a new guy! the two current juggernauts of the fandom are in FULL SWING. i honestly think we'd be somewhat overtaken by the fact things are actually happening in fandom. there's stuff to do that ISN'T go insane about a poll.

and it's not new, and we've seen it all before now, and frankly, it's hard to cause a mass hysteria event TWICE. lightning in a bottle, as they say.

i think part of the reason we all just REMEMBER mcytblr sexyman so much is that we could never, ever recreate it, so it remains crystalized in a single moment in time, impossible to replicate, forever memorable.

anyway: HAPPY ONE YEAR TO THE JOE HILLS SWEEP BABY,

#mcytblr sexyman #sorry i'm in nostalgia mode and feel like rambling. o7 happy one year to joe's victory

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drakulana · 1 month

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no strings attached // trafalgar law x reader

ᯓ★ summary: your situationship with law is on the rocks, what happens when you meet a stranger who looks a little too much like your captain?

ᯓ★ wc: 7.1k (i got carried away...)

ᯓ★ content: NSFW 18+, afab!reader, insecure reader, slightly obsessive law, unestablished relationship, alcohol consumption, pwp, oral (m & f recieving/giving), a little impact play, humiliation, edging, fingering, a little bondage, petnames, cheating (kinda not rlly), p in v, dubcon, safeword mention (not used), no y/n, nice little ending, lmk if i'm missing any!!

ᯓ★ a/n: i'm really excited to post this work. i've been working on it for quite some time. i hope y'all enjoy! (also bear w me, its my first time writing smut & posting it.)

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the relationship between you and law was hardly established, and on the outside looking in, it was a fairly professional one. that being said, it was obvious that he preferred your presence over anyone else’s. you would help him with the things he needed done, the things he couldn’t get around to while he was working endless hours in his office. he would let you sit in his office while he worked, a comfortable silence being shared between you two as you both did your own thing. the relationship itself was very much a professional thing at the beginning. over time though, conversations between the two of you became deeper, and became more frequent. conversations that included things you wouldn’t tell someone in just a professional setting. the sharing of personal experiences and ambitions created a warm, safe environment behind the closed doors of his office. here, the world outside the door was just a little less hard to deal with.

day by day, things between the two of you grew to be more than you had both intended. as things continued to become more intimate, it was only a matter of time before the two of you began to speak about your desires with one another. the conversation started as any other, but quickly got more heated the further it went on. question after question, both of you shared your own sexual experiences, likes, and dislikes. that night one thing led to another, and you two became intimate. sleeping with law was one of the best sexual experiences you had ever had, and the feeling was mutual, because now you were in his bed almost every other night. the relationship grew from strictly professional, to the two of you relieving each others stress at the end of the night. from the start though, it was very clear that there was nothing more than the sex, and in the morning it would go back to the normal, previously professional dynamic. both of you were content with this, and agreed it’d be better overall if this is how it stayed. no strings attached was less complicated, and safer for everyone all around. at least that’s what law was telling himself for the past few months that you two had been messing around.

a few months into your sexual endeavors, the sex became less frequent, maybe once a week on average. law was busy and more distant, and you were trying not to take it personal. you would still sit in his office with him, and do the things he couldn’t get around to. you would help him out with whatever he needed. however by the six month mark, you two hadn’t been intimate in weeks. you had tried to come on to him, to initiate it a few times, but after being turned down you decided he was gonna have to come to you. you knew deep down it wasn’t personal, you knew he was busy. you both agreed to no strings attached when this started. there was no reason to get torn up about it. tonight though, you were in your head, and feeling undesirable. the crew was going out tonight, and you decided you were going to join them this time, rather than sit in law’s office in the silence that you usually would feel comfortable in.

it wasn’t unusual for you to go out with the crew to a bar every now and then, but you hardly ever drank. tonight was different. there was tension growing in your head, and you decided having a couple drinks would aid the dull ache, and unresting thoughts. your third drink in, the muscles in your legs and shoulders had started to relax, giving way to the alcohol. a haze had glossed over your vision, and for a while you didn’t even think about how undesirable you had felt. for the most part of the night, you bonded and laughed with the crew. everyone sharing their own stories and making jokes out of their misfortune around the table while you were all growing increasingly drunk, reminded you of why you even came out tonight. excusing yourself to the bar while shachi shared with the table a story from the past that he told every time he got this drunk, you went to go get your last drink of the night, deciding this is where you cut yourself off.

it was late, probably nearing about 1 in the morning, and you were really drunk. more so than usual. usually by this time you were back at the ship sitting in laws office laughing about all the things that were said between the crew, filling him in on what he had missed. you sat yourself down at the bar and ordered yourself another drink, pushing the thoughts of law out of your mind. you knew another drink was overkill, you were already very inebriated, but you didn't let that stop you. a man around your age had settled next to you. “her next one is on me,” he announced to the bartender. the bartender nodded his head, and slid you the drink. you glanced over at the man. he was fairly attractive. he had dark hair, some facial hair, brooding gray eyes, and was notable in height. he reminded you of your dear captain. the same captain who you had been trying to keep from plaguing your thoughts all night. “thank you,” you smiled at him as you took your drink and sipped it. “what’s your name?” he asked you. you gave him your name as a conversation was struck up. you glanced back at your crew, and they were engulfed in their own conversations, laughing at one another. you turned back to the conversation. the air at the bar was different than it was at the table with your crew. it was calmer up here, although it smelled stronger of alcohol, not that you minded. you could actually hear the tunes playing over speakers, it was an old song, one that you had heard your entire life, “my parents use to play this song all the time,” you had told the man sitting across from you. he smiled at you, “bring back any good memories?” he asked. you sat and you thought for a minute. it had been a while since you thought about your childhood. the life of a pirate usually meant an estrangement from parental figures in your life. there were a few notable memories from your childhood that you could point out, like your mother’s smile. how it would curl upwards, exposing dimpled apple cheeks, or your father’s laughter. it would boom throughout any room, bouncing off windows and picture frames. a sigh left your lips, “yeah, i guess there are a few good ones.”

before you had known it, almost an hour had passed and your ‘last drink of the night,’ had turned into four more. that’s when a question you weren’t expecting fell from the man who had been keeping you company, “do you want to get out of here?” usually the answer would be a fuck no but the alcohol had gone to your head at this point. the question oddly made you think of how undesirable you had felt in the presence of your captain, the same man who had to have been your new stranger friend’s doppelganger. it wasn’t like you to take someone up on an offer like this. you were not a one stand type of gal. tonight was different though. your insecurity was a flame inside of you, and you stupidly tried to put it out with alcohol, ending in it only feeding the fire inside you. you glanced back at your crewmates once again, weighing the options in your head. “why not?” you finally answered grabbing your things and heading out the door with your new friend.

once again, you weren’t one to sleep with strangers. in fact you had thought one night stands were a thing of your past. but here you were, walking into this guys apartment for a quick fuck. you didn’t even know his name, but it was much too late to ask now. you almost felt guilty deep down inside for thinking about sleeping with another man, but there were no strings attached to you and law’s relationship. was it really wrong if there was hardly a relationship out of work and sex? you pushed away your drunken thoughts as the man led you to his bedroom. the apartment was neat, and smelled of wood and a slight cigarette smell. the smell wasn’t comforting like the pine and paper smell of law’s bed. the whole time you were with this guy, you were constantly comparing everything he did to law. he wasn’t as big as him. he wasn’t as gentle with you. his hands were rough as they roamed your body, gripping and groping in places that weren’t particularly pleasant. he didn’t satisfy your needs. the entire time, your captain couldn’t leave your mind. the stranger made you feel dirty. you didn't even finish.

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back at the bar, the crew was getting ready to wrap up their night when the captain walked in. “captain! fancy seeing you here, you decide to drink with us?” shachi and penguin giggled, obviously drunkl. law looked at his crew almost annoyed, immediately noticing that you were not grouped in with them. “i thought (y/n) had come out with you tonight,” he stated, not answering the question that he was asked.

“oh, she did,” someone chimed in. law furrowed his brows, his frown deepening, “well, where is she?” he asked, the tension in his voice growing by the syllable. mumbles of i don’t know’s and i thought she went back to the ship fell from multiple mouths. until someone else spoke up, “i think i saw her leave with some guy about half an hour ago,” bepo piped up, from the middle of the table. he was the only one who seemed to make sense. law tensed at the bear’s statement. “did she now?” he rhetorically asked, but was answered by one of his crew members. “yeah! he looked an awful lot like you too… weird huh?” they giggled. law was very obviously agitated. he felt a vein start to pop in his forehead, and for a second he could’ve sworn he felt betrayed. that was before he had reminded himself that the relationship that you two had was strictly work then sex. he couldn’t feel that way towards you, there was no reason he should. he only saw you as a close friend, right? he mulled over his thoughts before grunting, “tell her to come see me whenever you find her,” and with that he walked out the bar door, returning to the polar tang where he could work in his office alone. he knew that he hadn’t had sex with you in weeks. he knew that you had previously tried to come on to him and he rejected you. what he didn’t know was that you were just going to leave the bar with a stranger.

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back at the strangers apartment, you had come to terms that the sex wasn’t good. you didn’t even cum. by the time the guy was laying down in bed after discarding the condom, you had already gotten dressed and were ready to go out the door. “where are you going?” the guy asked, looking at your shape in his bedroom doorway. “i have places to be,” you muttered walking out of his apartment, and making your way towards the dock. it was now probably about half past two, maybe even three, and you were still very drunk. you doubted your crew was still at the bar. the walk back to the submarine was one filled with shame. you felt dirty, and wished that you weren’t as drunk as you were. every foot fall came with the reminder of your weight, and every other step there was a sway in your posture. the lights glared in your blurred vision, and the thought that you might not make it back without blacking out crossed your mind until you caught a glimpse of what was both your solace, and your demise. the polar tang docked at the port.

as you stepped foot on the ship, drunken guilt consumed you as you passed various crewmates turning into their chambers for the night. you were on your way to shower whenever you ran into bepo. “hey, captain wanted to see you when you have a moment,” the bear told you. on the outside, you had just nodded, but on the inside your heart dropped. you knew that law knew. law always knew. nothing could ever go under his nose like that. you decided you were going to shower before seeing your captain, to try to sober up just a little. besides, you didn’t want to see him with another man’s scent on you, and you wanted to scrub yourself clean.

you thought about the events of the night as the warm water cascaded down your body, soaking your hair. you couldn’t believe what you had done, or why you had done it. you scrubbed until you couldn’t, leaving your skin with a red hue to accompany the self loathe. stepping out of the shower, you hyped yourself up to face your captain, but you were sure you were not going to be able to look him in the face. consumed with guilt and shame, you had dressed yourself in baggy clothes, and made your way to the captain’s chamber.

knocking on the door felt like an unnecessarily hard task. an ache settled between your temples as you urged yourself to just knock. after a few minutes, you finally knocked on the door, awaiting for an answer. there was a shuffle, and then a silence. as soon as you went to turn away, you heard a muted “come in.” turning the handle, you faced reality. the room was dark, other than the small light from law’s desk that illuminated the corner of the room. the familiar comforting scent of pine and paper, with a dash of ink filled your nostrils. for a second you relaxed. that was until you met law’s eyes. he was sitting at his desk, hands folded in front of him. his eyes held a dark glint, making you shiver. you knew that he knew.

“did you have fun tonight?” he asked. his voice bounced off the metallic walls of his chamber, making you feel small. there was a tone to his voice you hadn’t ever heard before, a new bitterness. a bitterness that was aimed towards you, it mixed with something that was almost envious. was that, jealousy? not knowing how to respond, you stood there for a second and let the silence engulf the both of you. it was loud, so loud that ringing set into your ears, amplifying the ache that had started outside the door. finally you answered, “not really,” a sigh escaping your lips as you spoke. your voice came out smaller than you intended. you kicked yourself internally. you thought you sounded weak. inside, law felt his jealousy ease slightly. a small sense of pride rushed to his head at your answer, you were clearly not satisfied with what you had tried to seek out. in a sense, he almost felt as if you deserved the lack of satisfaction. he didn’t understand why you didn’t ask him first, even if he did reject you a couple times. surely, you weren’t so insecure that you wouldn’t ask once more? another silence fell over the two of you as you took your seat in front of his desk. the mountain of papers sat on either side of him as you held eye contact with his. “did you find what you were looking for?” law had asked you, getting up from his chair, making his way over to in front of you. his tall figured towered over you, his shadow casting over you from the illumination of the small desk lamp’s yellow light. you stayed silent, not wanting to answer his question. you felt embarrassed, turning your gaze away from law’s eyes and down to the floor. a heat rose in your cheeks as he stood over you. “you know, when your captain asks you a question, it’s better to answer than to ignore it,” law started, dangerously calm. he lifted your chin up to meet his gaze, “i’ll repeat myself only this once. did you find what you were looking for?”

the tone law had used with you made your head spin. it made your mouth grow dry, and caused you to stumble over your words. it reminded you that no matter what the circumstances were, he was your captain and he held every power over you. “i-um...” you tried to avert your eyes away from his but his grip on your chin never wavered. “no,” you finally were able to spit out. your voice came out small, pathetic, and it surely didn’t help that you were still drunk making them come out slightly slurred. you internally cringed at how you sounded in front of him. law crouched down to your level, now face to face with you. his stared into your eyes, hand moving to the back of your neck, not letting you look away, “and what exactly were you looking for, doll?” he asked you in a low voice. law rarely used pet names for you, every once in a while one would slip in the bedroom, but never in a conversation like this. especially not one you deemed to be a tense one. you opened your mouth, trying to form a sentence. finally, words tumbled out of your mouth, “i-i.. don’t know..” you voice shook, “i’m sorry la-” before you could finish, he cut you off. “address me in the proper manner,” he ordered. for a second you were taken aback, but you quickly fixed your mistake, “i’m sorry, captain.”

“tell me, were you so desperate that you had to go sleep with a stranger?” he lowered his mouth to your ear, tucking a stray strand of hair behind it. his voice was no more than a whisper, but it still held such a dangerous air to it, reminding you that law’s reputation was earned. you didn’t know how to respond to him, truth is you didn’t know why you did it. at the time, it didn’t seem like a big deal with the whole ‘no strings attached’ agreement. you didn’t feel desired by law, and you were getting tired of waiting. you honestly thought he wouldn’t care. however, sitting in front of law made you realize that there were indeed strings attached to this arrangement. you knew he could be possessive, and it was stupid of you to think he would be okay with such a thing. a light kiss below your ear brought you back to reality. law’s hot breath fanned your neck as he lightly nipped, causing a heat to grow in between your legs. “tell me, did he fuck you as good as i do?” a small gasp escaped your lips. “o-of course not, la-” he cut you off, wrapping his hand in your hair and giving it a light tug. “it’s captain to you. that’s the last warning,” he spit through gritted teeth in your ear. he retracted his head and looked you in the eyes, “how about you show me how sorry you are,” with that, law released your hair. for a second you were confused, that was until law was undoing his jeans and pushing you down onto your knees. his long member sprung out of his pants as he pulled them down. he held his cock with one hand, and the back of your head with the other. he held your gaze for a second, silently asking if you wanted this. after a slight nod from you, his grip on your hair tightened. your mouth fell open at the sudden tug at your roots, law took this as an invitation to enter your mouth.

law was hardly a rough lover, but you had also never pissed him off to this extent. his thrusts into your mouth were relentless, drool ran down your mouth as tears began to well in your eyes and fall down your face. it was becoming too much. you clawed and hit into law thighs, but to no avail, there was no stopping his torment on your throat. “what is it? i thought you were desperate?” he spit at you, holding your tear filled gaze, occasionally wiping a tear that ran down your face. this change in demeanor had heat pooling in between your legs, begging for some sort of friction. after what felt like years, law finally pulled out of your tortured throat. you gasped for air, holding onto his legs for support. your head spun, and for a second you could’ve sworn you started to see stars. a large tattooed hand gripped your upper arm, yanking you upwards making you stand on unsteady legs. before you could gain your composure you were bent over his desk, papers falling, and crumpling against you. you were met eye to eye with various pages out of medical journals, pages filled with your captain’s messy handwriting, and lists of numbers that you were too dazed to even comprehend. law’s left hand pushed down on your back, making you arch up into his figure. his right hand traveled down to the seam of your pants, dipping his fingers under ever so slightly. despite how roughly he handled you, he caressed your body with a gentleness no one would think was capable of him. he leaned down to meet your ear once again, moving his left hand up your back, his right inching further down past the elastic band of your pants. the wetness growing in between your legs became an ache. subconsciously, your thighs tried to squeeze together, to get some sort of friction, but law wasn’t gonna let that happen. he slotted a leg in between your two thighs to keep you from giving yourself any type of relief. you fought the urge to grind down on the thigh that he had placed in between yours. that left hand of his traveled from your back to your torso leaving electric pulses in its midst. he moved his hand up your torso, finding your breasts and taking one in his hand. his fingers rolled across the already erected bud eliciting a strangled moan from you. you jolted back into his touch. law let out a hum of approval before whispering into your ear, “did you tremble at his touch like you do for me?” he asked you. you tried to catch your breath to answer, only able to fill your lungs half way before letting out a broken, “no,” law stopped all his movements, depriving you of any pleasure he was providing. “no, what?” he asked you. “no, captain,” you answered him in another struggled breath. another hum of approval came from law. his actions continued.

law pushed his hand further down your waist band, being met with the cotton panties you had slid on after your shower. his hand slid down your ass, grasping at it before moving down to the hem of your panties. you leaned into his touch, hoping he’d give you some relief, but he didn’t. he lightly rubbed your pussy through your panties, not giving enough pressure to actually relieve the ache that was starting to grow unbearable. “captain,” you breathed out, trying to grind down onto his touch, but to avail, he would not let you. law’s hand abandoned your breast, sliding up your chest to grip your throat, “if you want something, beg for it,” he ordered you. his grip on your throat tightened just enough to make your head spin. you gasped a breath, losing balance in your legs. a pathetic whine left your throat, “please, la-,” his grip tightened on your throat causing you to correct yourself, “please, captain. please, touch me,” you choked out. it was almost humiliating how desperate you sounded. law complied with your request. his fingers pressed into your wet core through the dampened fabric, eliciting a moan. he hooked his fingers under the fabric being met with your wetness. the hand around your neck craned your head towards his so he could look you in the eyes. his piercing gold stare met your eyes, “you’re this wet, all for me?” he asked you in an almost mocking tone, “is this what you wanted to achieve? tell me, is this what you wanted, doll?” his gaze never wavered, demanding an answer. the truth was, you didn’t really know the answer. you wanted to feel desired by law, and it was clearer than ever that he definitely desired you. you didn’t know law was going to react this strenuously. you thought it was going to be an argument. in a way, this was what you wanted. you must’ve taken too long to answer, law brought your face closer to his, “answer me,” tears welled in your eyes as you nodded at your captain. he let out a huff before shoving two long fingers into your wet cunt. a moan ripped from your throat as he thrusted into your pussy. jagged breaths, and strangled sniffles wracked your body. “you crying? you wanted this,” he spit at you before letting go of your throat. his fingers pulled out of you, leaving you on edge, a whine leaving you, “tell me you want this,” he demanded you. a vigorous nod came from you, “i want this. this is what i wanted,” you slurred to him. law's hands made their way to your pants, finally pulling them down along with your panties. goosebumps rose to the surface of your skin as the cool air of the ship hit it. you heard a rustling behind you, and then felt law’s thick cock press against your hot core.

your head spun, and your hands grasped at papers. law grabbed your hands, holding them behind his back, mumbling something along the lines of, don’t go messing up all my work now, as if he wasn��t the one who pinned you to the surface. you heard a jingling of a belt, and then felt cool leather wrapping around your wrists. the action was domineering, but his movements were kept sweet. his breath fanned over your ear, making you shiver, “give me a safe word,” he told you as he fastened your arms behind your back. law paused his movements as you tried to gather your thoughts into a single cohesive word. law’s actions had your world spinning, lining your visions with stars. you finally breathed out the word. seconds later, law was back to what he was doing. you struggled from underneath him, as he gathered your wetness on his tip, spreading it over your pussy before pushing the tip in. law sucked in a deep breath, and you let out a moan. his hands pressed against the small of your back as he pushed even further into you. you both simultaneously let out a sigh. neither of you could deny the pleasure of feeling each other, being intimate with each other. it was a short moment, but a sweet reminder that no matter how rough law would get, this place was safe.

law’s hips snapped back before he bottomed out all the way to the hilt, stretching you out. your walls squeezed around him, making his grip tighten on your waist. his fingerprints were sure to leave marks by tomorrow morning. breathy moans fell from your pretty mouth, coating law’s ears with that sweet melody that he had come to love. law’s thrusts sped up, and for a moment his hand left your waist, relieving the building pressure he was putting on your hips. that was until a large tattooed hand came down with a hard smack against your ass. you let out a loud yelp. law shushed you, “you wouldn’t want anyone to hear how much of a slut you are, would you, sweetheart?” he mocked you, “keep quiet,” he ordered you. another smack came down on your other cheek. “count,” he ordered, “that was two,” another smack. stuttered whimpers left your mouth as you tried to form the word that was stuck on your tongue. law cut through your thoughts, “that was three. come on now, doll, don’t make me start over,” he taunted you, his thrusts never stopping. another smack. this time you moaned out the number, “f-four,” it came out slurred, and weak. you could hear law smile, “good girl,” he praised you. he rubbed your ass soothing the sting of his spanks. just when you thought the assault on your ass was done, another came down, this one harder. “f-fiv..” you barely could finish the word. law tutted, thrusting hard into you, stopping once he was fully sheathed inside you, “is that the best you got? can’t take it?” he taunted. his question was met with a moan in response. he leaned over your figure, pressing your stomach into the hard wood of his desk. he thrusts continued once again, his hands back to soothing the skin on your ass. another smack, “s-ix,” you choked out, as a sadistic laugh left law’s lips. law brushed your hair over your shoulder, pulling up your shirt to expose your back. as fast as the cold air hit your skin, law was pressing warm wet kisses down your back, biting at your shoulder blades. long skilled fingers, massaged the muscles on your lower back, all while maintaining the arch he had you in. it wasn’t long before law’s thrusts started to get sloppy, his hand tangling into your hair, knuckles pressing into your scalp. your moans mixed with his grunts, filling the room with sinful sounds. you were just about to reach your climax, the white hot ball that was growing within you was finally starting to unravel when law pulled out of you. a whine left your lips in protest, but law pulled you upright by your arm. he pulled you close to him, “i’m not done with you, yet,” he told you.

he lead you over to his bed, sitting you down on the plush surface of his bed. law kneeled down in front of you, pulling you to the edge of his mattress. he spread your legs, exposing your wet core to his room. law took in the sight of you from between your legs. your hair was a mess, your face was red, and your eyes were fogged over with lust. your body trembled with every breath you took. for a second, law almost felt bad for going so hard on you. that was, until he had remembered what you had done. you were his. you needed to know that, and he was going to make sure that you knew that by the end of this night. he would make sure you would have no desire to ever try to be intimate with another man other than him. law was a possessive man. he was protective over the things that he cherished. some would even go as far as to call him downright obsessive. he wasn’t spoiled, but he would see through that he would get this one thing that he wanted, and right now that one thing was you.

law held eye contact with you from between your thighs. sweet kisses were pressed into your thighs. hums of contentment left you, and those sweet kisses turned into nipping and biting at the sensitive skin. law started to suckle on the skin, leaving red and purple hickeys to mark you. he would make sure from now on to leave at least one, so others who tried knew who you belonged to. the bites soon turned back into kisses, as he made his way closer to your dripping core. law looked back up at you as he let his tongue connect with your wet slit. he moaned into you, lapping up the sweet wetness that gathered at your entrance dipping his tongue in ever so slightly. law’s tongue traveled up to your clit, flicking at it resulting in your hips jolting up. the more law ate your pussy, the more you wiggled around until law had finally had enough. law took one of his arms pinning your hips down to the bed, muttering a ‘stay still.’ you obeyed. he went back to work on you with that merciless tongue of his, suckling and licking at your clit, traveling down ever so often to just ever so briefly fuck you with his tongue. you felt fingers start to run up your thighs slowly, eliciting sweet sighs and moans from your mouth, that melody that law would never get tired of.

the tips of his fingers traced their way all the way to your dripping hole. his tattooed finger slid into you, smoothly, squelching the wetness against the knuckle, “so wet,” law whispered, more to himself than anything. he was always enamored by your pussy. he would spend hours in between your legs if he had the time. he loved touching you, working his fingers and his tongue on you, seeing what different reactions he could get out of you. where your favorite and least places to be touched were. he took pride in making you feel good. in fact, if he weren’t so mad right now, he’d probably spend all night in between your legs, but to him, you didn’t deserve that. you didn’t deserve the undying affection he wanted to give your pussy. however that thought did not stop him from sinking in a second finger, or from taking your clit in his mouth, rolling it against his tongue, spelling his name as if it were some kind of chant to claim you as his.

your chest rose and fell at a fast rate. you were practically heaving for air. law loved having this effect on you. leaving you all breathless, and undone beneath his lips. he felt your walls clench around his fingers, your moans started to get shorter, and more close together, he knew that you were about to come completely undone. law decided he’d let you get to the very edge, make you think he was going to let you cum, but you didn’t really deserve that just yet, did you? he had to make sure that you knew that he was the only one who could demand and deny something like that to you. so he stopped. he pulled his fingers out of your pussy, your juices leaving them sticky and shining. he pulled his mouth away from your clit, leaving you a writhing whimpering mess. he shoved the slick covered fingers into your mouth, muffing your protests, “you will cum when i say so, understand that?” he asked you. you nodded around his fingers, causing a small twisted smile to grace his lips for just a second

he undressed himself the rest of the way, crawling onto the bed next to you, laying on his back. he grabbed your arm, pulling you over to his lap. “ride me,” he ordered you. you breathed shakily. as you positioned yourself above his member. law held a hand on your hip, helping you guide down onto him slowly. your breath hitched as you slowly slid down onto his cock. law was big. you knew that, but he seemed to always feel a few inches bigger whenever you rode him. you slid all the way down, your pelvises kissing. a deep groan fell from law’s mouth. you could listen to him make those sounds all day, if he’d let you. you slowly started to bounce on top of him, your arms still tied tight behind your back. your thrusts were sloppy, each one making another moan fall from law’s mouth. his hands gripped at your hips, guiding your hips in a more calculated way. law was a control freak, even in bed. “c’mon, is that the best you got?” he said to you, his tone demeaning and mocking. it was hard to balance when you had nothing to hold up your body. you wanted to fall forward, against law, but he held you in place. your eyes squeezed shut as you bounced up and down, law’s hand guiding you. his grip on you was hard, guaranteed to leave bruises in the shape of his fingerprints tomorrow morning. your movements were unusually uncoordinated, and it frustrated you. a huff left your mouth, as you struggled to clean up your movements against him. law noticed this, “no need to get upset, baby. just do it right,” he taunted you. law would be lying if he said he wasn’t enjoying watching you struggle. getting all frustrated at not being able to preform the way you wanted. this went on for a few more minutes until law had finally decided to grant you some form of mercy.

law pulled you off of him flipping you onto your hands and knees, your face smushing down onto his pillow. you arched your back, presenting your core to him. law admired the sight in front of him. the soft yellow glow of the bedside table lamp illuminated just enough for him to see the slickness dripping from your folds. he had never seen you in such a desperately needy state. part of him was rushed with pride. he made you this way, helpless and needy, all for him. the other part of him still panged with jealousy. he even felt a small trace of betrayal in the whirlwind of emotions consuming him. he let that drive him. that's what drove him to degrade you down to nothing but a whining mess. it was strange, a woman who held herself with so much conviction, groveling beneath him. it was interesting to him, how much power he actually wielded over you in this moment. it wasn't right him feeling this way, he knew that, but he couldn't find it in him to give you any mercy. a quiet and low sadistic chuckle left his lips as he traced the shape of you. his hands leaving warm trails over your body. you relaxed for a minute before one of his fingers had dipped itself into your wetness. a quiet moan left your lips, only to be replaced with a whine as he pulled his hands away from your body.

law sat back on his heels, admiring you in this position. you truly were beautiful. even all restrained, and begging to be touched, you were beautiful. law couldn't fathom why he had even let you slip through his fingers in the first place. he never thought that you'd ever try to leave him. he understood why you did, but he never thought you'd do it. he swore he would never let you even try to leave him again. he would never give you a reason to, and if you tried he'd carve your pretty little heart out of your chest, and put it in a glass jar, just for him. he would put it on the edge of his desk, so he could watch it beat just for him. for now though, he would have to remind you that you belonged to him. tender hands undid the restraints around your wrist, rubbing at the freshly raw skin. his hands left your wrists, letting them fall to support yourself. his hands guided along every curve and divot in your body, leaving a warm sensation where his fingers trailed over your body. “so beautiful,” he whispered, more to himself, “and all mine,” he leaned down trailing kisses down your spine, and down to your ass. all the sweet, and tender touches were all halted with a harsh bite to your asscheek. a yelp left your lips, and an amused huff left laws lips as he retracted back, satisfied with the mark he had left on you. he turned you over to your back to he could gaze down into those pretty glistening eyes of yours. he leaned down, bringing you into a passionate kiss, before trailing his way down your neck and chest, leaving love bites in the midst of his teeth and tongue. “all mine,” he whispered once more, locking eyes with you, “who’s is this?” he beckoned you, almost mockingly. the word left your mouth without thought, “yours.” law was satisfied with this answer, propping himself up above you. he lined his cock up with your entrance, holding your hips up in just the right angle, before pushing back into you.

being inside you was pure ecstasy. it brought on emotions that law had never felt before. it made his head spin, and his cock twitch. you tightened around him, and he knew you couldn’t last much longer with how many times you had been denied. law felt his climax start to build, “you wanna cum?” he asked you. your arms wrapped around laws shoulders, nails digging into his shoulder blades, “yes, please captain, please,” you cried out. law’s thrusts were now sloppy, and his grip on you was tighter than it had been the entire night, “cum for me,” he breathed. the hot white fire started to finally unravel within your stomach. your slick walls tightened around him, pulling him in, milking his cock. your head spun, and stars collided with one another. both you and law's moans mixed filling the room with sinful sound. a few more strokes, and law was burying his seed deep inside you.

law collapsed beside you, pulling you into his arms. his hands found their way into your hair, running his fingers through your tangled strands. your head laid on his chest, your eyes closing, welcoming the blackness of exhaustion. before you drifted off, a few words that left law speechless fell from your mouth. “i love you, law,” your voice was soft and sweet, and if it wasn’t so silent in his room, he would have missed it. he looked down at you. your eyelashes were now resting against your cheeks, and your cheeks had a rosy hue to them as your breathing leveled out. law had so many things he wanted to say to you, to confess to you. his tongue twitched to respond, but instead he pulled you tighter against him, deciding that conversation was better suited tomorrow morning when you were both well rested. for tonight though, law was going to relish in those words and let them replay in his mind, counting them like makeshift sheep as he fell asleep with you in his arms.

⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹

@drakulana 2024 // i do not give permission to copy, translate, or repost, any of my content without my consent

taglist: @shuujin , @pinksaiyans , @buttmishaaaa, @tokaio, @augustanna, @sukilovesyou, @mschoiyuki, @songinabottle , @starlightanyaaa, @elen-alambil, @theladyofmanyfandomsfanfiction

#trafalgar law #law x reader #trafalgar d water law #one piece x reader #trafalgar law x reader #one piece fan fic #one piece fan fiction #trafalgar law smut #law smut #one piece smut #it took me two months to write this i am so proud of this piece #i hope u all enjoy it

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koushirouizumi · 2 years

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(chatter)

I'm re-blogging that post again to archive but also because some ppl still really don't seem aware and, like. Various members of my fam (on all ends) have finally been able to apply for such under that happening. (Because I am in fact a real perso---) So yes.

(Just because I didn't talk about it doesn't mean it wasn't happening, but I'm glad it's finally working out for other fam members too.) {It's still not perfect but it's Something, at least}

Anyway, like... I'm not an expert on how to apply for those things or anything, so please don't ask me, (including about topics like how U.S. or otherwise lnsurance works when Dlsabled, etc.) as I won't be able to answer you - I can only speak for my own personal experience. But seriously please consider reading up on them. Especially if you've also been struggling under COVlD conditions, you're very likely probably eligible for them.

#koushirouizumi personal #koushirouizumi text #koushirouizumi fam #koushirouizumi no rb #koushirouizumi no rb posts #(The only reason I haven't talked abt them more is because fam's still kind of getting used to using them)#(but we definitely qualified in various ways)#(We've mainly been managing from home and I'm trying to stay inside as much as possible because COVlD)#(But really)#(I Dont Know Who Needs To Hear That)#(If you're having trouble being approved for Dis@bility PLEASE consider applying for food st@mps if you think theyll work out)#(It's MUCH better than nothing and you'll at least have some food to live on for a while and also while trying to sort out Dis@bility)#(Maybe its just bc I'm in storm preparation mode again lately too but it really makes my heart hurt when I see ppl)#(Struggle to understand that these are like Options and there's so many ways you can get food that has a long shelf life)#(We can stock up for 3 months worth at a time in just 1 or 2 trips alone and having those helped us a lot even if it's not perfect)

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zedecksiew · 4 months

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DECOLONISING D&D

In 2019, after seeing yet another round of alarmist discourse in Xwitter about how Dungeons & Dragons is FULL of COLONIALIST tropes and patterns, and needs to be revised, SCRUBBED of its PROBLEMATIC FILTH---I rage-tweeted this brainfart:

"Decolonising D&D"

I've seen this thread round the community, since. Humza K quotes it in Productive Scab-picking: On Oppressive Themes in Gaming. Prismatic Wasteland quotes it in Apolitical RPGs Don't Exist. Most recently, it was referenced in a 1999AD post about Western TTRPGs (an interesting discussion on its own merit; one that already has a counterpoint from Sandro / Fail Forward.)

If folks are still referring to it five years later, maybe I should give the thread a little more credit? Perhaps the fart miasma has crystalised into something concrete.

In the interest of record / saving this thought from the ephemerality of Xwitter, here is the text in full, properly paragraphed, and somewhat more cleanly expressed:

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"DECOLONISING D&D"

Firstly: saying "D&D is colonialist" is similar to saying: "the English language is colonialist".

If your method of decolonising RPGs is to abandon D&D---well, some folks abandon English; they don't want to work in the language of the coloniser. More power to them!

For those who want to continue using the "language" of D&D---

Going forth into the "wild hinterland" (as if this weren't somebody's homeland);

to "seek treasure" (as if this didn't belong to anybody);

and "slay monsters" (monsters to whom?)

Yeah. There's some problematic stuff here, and definitely these aspects should make more people uncomfortable.

But! I think it is an error to "decolonise D&D" by scrubbing such content from the game.

That feels like erasure; like an unwillingness to face history / context; like a way to appease one's own settler guilt.

Do you live in the West? Do you live in any Asian urban metropole? White or Person of Colour(tm)---you are already complicit in colonialist / capitalist (yes, of course they are inextricably linked) behaviour. (I can't speak for urban metropoles elsewhere, but I bet they are similar centres of extraction.)

Removing such patterns from the TTRPGs you play might let you feel better, at your game table. But won't change what you are.

I think it is more truthful and more useful NOT to avert one's eyes from D&D's colonialism.

The fact that going forth into the hinterland to seek treasure and slay monsters is a thing, and fucking fun, tells us valuable things about the shape and psychology of colonialism. Why conquistadors in the past did it; why liberal foreign policy, corporations, and post-colonial societies do it today.

Speaking personally:

I write stuff that evokes / deals with the context I'm in---Southeast Asia. An intrinsic part of that is looking at the ways colonial violence has happened to us---as well as the ways / reasons we now, supposedly free, perpetrate it on others.

A long chain of suffering. Heavy stuff.

I also write for people who want to have fun / kill monsters / pretend to be elves, of course. But for those people who want to consider serious stuff like colonialism: I offer no FIGHT THE POWER righteousness, no good feeling, no answers.

Only discomfort. Because the truth is uncomfortable.

Here's a screenshot of the Author's Note for Lorn Song of the Bachelor:

"Any text inspired by Southeast Asia has to reckon with colonialism ... This text presents a difficult situation; there are no easy solutions. "... If I offered a mechanical incentive for you to fight colonial invaders, you wouldn’t be making a moral decision, but a mercenary one. "The choice you face should echo ... the kind of calculus my grandparents faced."

I stand by that.

Also: might we be more precise and more careful about using the term "decolonising", please?

Here I quote Tuck and Yang's landmark and (sadly) still trenchant "Decolonization is not a metaphor":

"Decolonization brings about the repatriation of Indigenous land and life; it is not a metaphor for other things we want to do to improve our societies ..."

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Further Reading

So this post isn't just me reheating a hot take, here are some touchstone writings from around the TTRPG community about colonialism as a subject and mode of play in games:

"Jim Corbett was called upon to hunt down another fifty maneaters over the course of the next 35 years. Together, those tigers had killed over 2000 people, for much the same reasons as the Champawat Tiger - injury, desperation, starvation, and habitat loss. Would you look at that. The root cause was British colonialism."

D&D Doesn't Understand What Monsters Are from Throne of Salt

"Another effect of having colonizers in my setting would be giving players the opportunity to drive them away from the islands, their home. This maybe just be for the catharsis. After all, isn’t catharsis a big part of why we play roleplaying games?"

I’m Adding Colonizers To My Setting from Goobernut's Blog

"When you have a slime boy and the other characters are a really fat lizard and one's playing Humpty Dumpty, it completely shatters the straight-faced serious authoritarian illusion of race, and replaces it with complete fucking nonsense. I love the idea of proliferating the number and types of "races" into absurdity, to the point where the entire logical structure of it collapses in on itself and race as a category ceases to become coherent or meaningful in any sense."

Interview with Ava Islam - Designer of the RPG Errant from Ava Islam / The Lost Bay

"Perhaps most critically, the fundamental basis of power is not land or even money but manpower. That’s what local rulers fight over, and what Chinese commercial networks export, in return for unique island products. It’s what the European colonists really need (even if it’s not what they most desire). There is rich loot to be grabbed in the form of spices, Spanish silver, Indian gold, sea cucumbers (the Chinese love ’em), perfumes, dyes, cloth etc. so there’s ample opportunity for piracy, trade and smuggling, but the key to long-term success – the key to independent survival – is nakedly and unquestionably uniting people."

Counter-colonial Heistcrawl: previous high scores from Richard's Dystopian Pokeverse

"They worked their own land—which they dispossessed from American Indians—or became small shop owners or opportunistic gold diggers or bounty hunters or itinerant ranchers. To me, substituting these situations for one ruled by industrial monopoly ignores that the Wild West is a perfect example of how capitalism operates outside of (or prior to) mass industry, instead being composed of self-employers and self-sustainers."

Fantastic Detours - Frontier Scum from Traverse Fantasy / Bones of Contention

"... using the Western framing and D&D's baked-in imperialist and capitalist structure to get people earnestly participating in the experience of forming imperial power structures and the early roots of regional capitalism ... The PCs aren't the drifters on the train or the townsfolk watching with apprehension - they're the railroad itself."

An Arrow for the General: Confronting D&D-as-Western in the Kalahari from A Most Majestic Fly Whisk

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#colonialism #theory #ttrpgs #d&d #politics #lorn song of the bachelor

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cy-cyborg · 3 months

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Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart

When a character in a story becomes disabled, they'll sometimes experience a trope that I like to call "the disabling change of heart". This is when the character goes through a massive change in their outlook, their personality, their goals or even roll in the story, specifically because they became (or are about to become) physically disabled. Sometimes, this will be in relatively small ways: the happy-go-lucky comedic relief character might become bitter, angry and jaded after getting into an accident that caused a spinal injury, or the severally depressed and nihilistic character might suddenly start acting more cheerful and hopeful, stating that loosing their leg has "put things into perspective and showed them what really matters". In other cases though, the impact is much larger, the heroic character you've been hearing about looses an arm thanks to the main character's actions, causing them to become consumed with anger and self-loathing which they take out on everyone else, eventually becoming an antagonist as they seek revenge for what the main character did to them. The morally grey or even villainous character is injured by their own scheme, giving themselves a permanent disability in the process, which prompts a change of heart and leads them to turn their lives around and become better people, maybe even deciding to team up with the heroes.

Now, having a character go through a personality and goal change due to a major life event, such as becoming physically disabled, isn't inherently bad. A lot of writers are told to tie major shifts in your character's development to major life events, because realistically, something like becoming newly disabled will at least impact how you view the world around you. I very frequently talk about how if I didn't loose my legs, I would have become a vastly different person, but the issues with this trope depends on how it's used and the reasons behind these developments, and whether or not the change suits the character in question.

Before we get into things, I would like to specify that in this post, I'm only going to be talking about how this trope is used with physical disabilities and other easily visible forms of disability. It does show up with characters who develop disabilities under the mentally ill and neurodivergent umbrellas, and is actually a bit more common than what I'm talking about today, but the specific ways its utilised are so different that it's more or less a separate trope, and one that deserves much more attention than I could give it here as this is already going to be a pretty long post. So for today, I'm keeping to it's use with physical and visible disabilities, and we'll talk about how this trope is used with neurodivergence and mental illness another day.

The main thing you need to be mindful of is ensuring that you, as an author, are not including your ingrained biases about disability into the reasoning behind the change. Let's look at one of the examples from before, an evil character who, after loosing their arm (because it's almost always loosing an arm for some reason) becomes a villain and wants revenge against the main character. In a story like this example, the character who became an amputee often views this new disability as something that has ruined their life. It's something that has caused them to suffer, and they want to make the main character (or whoever has "wronged" them) suffer like they did. Stories like this example portray disability as something that is not just horrible, but life-destroying, especially with villains who become all-consumed by the misery this disability has brought them. Many stories that utilise this version of the trope also often perpetuate the idea that if you become disabled, you'll have to give up all the things you love and your goals, even when this wouldn't necessarily be true for the character in question.

Let's say your character was a knight, and the main character cut off their arm in a training accident. obviously you can't be a knight with only one arm because you can't fight anymore, so they left their order. Now this character has become a villain and has found power that "makes up" for their disability, perhaps magic or some other force that doesn't exist in the real world, and are back to get revenge on the character for ruining their lives. Here's the thing though, the loss of a limb, or at least, the loss of an arm specifically, often isn't the career ender people think it is, even back then. In fact, there are many historical records of real amputees continuing to serve as knights and other similar military roles after loosing an arm or at the very least, continuing to fight in other ways. One such example was Götz of the Iron Hand, a mercenary knight who lost his arm to a cannon. Götz had fought as part of the Roman empire's military in 1498, but shortly after left to form his own mercenary company. He lost his hand in 1504 and continued his career as a mercenary with the help of an iron prosthetic capable of holding his sword and the reigns of his horse, among many other things such as writing, for another 40 years. Götz wasn't unique in this though, several suits of armour from the same time period have been found with integrated prosthetic hands, though the names of their owners are unknown. There was also Oruç Reis (aka Aruj Barbarossa), A privateer admiral who served the Ottoman Empire in and around the Mediterranean who lost his left hand - earning him one of many nicknames: Silver-Hand, thanks to the colour of his prosthetic. Oruç, like Götz, continued his career for several more years until he was eventually killed in 1518.

My point in bringing this up, is to highlight how important it is to double check that the reason your character's whole motivation for turning to villainy, isn't just based on your ideas about what a disabled person can or can not do. Actually double check it, research it, especially if it's important for your plot.

Even in the cases where the disability in question actually would stop someone from being able to do something, the incorrect assumptions can still occur and cause issues in different ways. For example, a character in a more modern setting who looses their arm due to an accident the main character was responsible for while serving in the military would be discharged, ruining the character's plan to become a general some day. This absolutely would be devastating for a character like that, and they realistically could struggle to adjust, both in terms of getting used to their disability and finding new goals for their life. They may well feel anger at the main character, however, if you are portraying just living with a disability, in the case of this example, living with an amputation as inherently "suffering" for no other reason than they are disabled, it is still perpetuating those really negative ideas about disability. I've said this a few times in other posts, but villains who are evil or even just antagonists purely because they're disabled or are trying to avoid becoming disabled is a trope all its own and one that is best avoided if you yourself aren't disabled, as even outside of spreading these negative ideas about life with a disability, it's just an overdone and overused trope.

But what about when this trope goes in the other direction? when you have an antagonistic or even just morally grey character who becomes disabled and this is the catalyst that turns them into a good guy?

For the longest time, I knew I usually disliked this version of the trope too, but I couldn't put my finger on why. With disability being the reason someone became a villain, the underlying reason it's there is often able to be boiled down to "I, the writer, think being disabled would be terrible and life like that is inherently suffering, so this character is angry about it," which is obviously an issue (the "inherently suffering" bit, not the anger). However, when a character becomes good due to becoming disabled, the reasoning is usually more along the lines of, "this is a big change in a character's life that has caused them to reconsider and revaluate things" (or at least, that's what I thought). This isn't bad, nor is it necessarily unrealistic. Hell, as I already said, I do consider my disability to be a catalyst that made me into who I am today. I also know plenty of people who, after becoming disabled later in life, did have a big change in how they viewed themselves and the world, and who consider themselves better people since becoming disabled. It's far, far from a universal experience, mind you, but it does happen. So why did this version of the trope still not sit right with me?

Well, I think there's a few reasons for it. The first being that there's a tendency for non-disabled people to think real disabled people are just incapable of evil deeds, both in the sense that they aren't physically capable of doing them (which is bad and not even always true for the reasons we already discussed), but also in the sense that there's this idea that disabled people are, for some reason, inherently more "good" and "innocent" - As if breaking your back or loosing a limb causes all evil and impure thoughts to be purged from the body. This is a result of many folks viewing disabled people as child-like, and thus attributing child-like traits (such as innocence) to them, even subconsciously. This is an incredibly common issue and something disability rights organisations are constantly pushing back against, as this mentality can cause a lot of unnecessary barriers for us. With how often I and many other disabled people are subjected to infantilization, I would be honestly shocked if it wasn't at least partially responsible for people thinking becoming disabled is a good reason to kick off a redemption arc.

This infantilization isn't unique to physically disabled people by the way, in fact it's way, way, more commonly directed at people with intellectual and developmental disabilities - or at least, people are more open about it, but as I already mentioned, how that is reflected in tropes like The Disabling Change of Heart is vastly different and deserves a post of it's own.

That's mostly just speculation on my part though, since that infantilising mindset does show up a lot in media, but not usually as part of this trope specifically.

However, it's not the only reason I wasn't a fan of it. When the disabling change of heart is used to fuel redemption arcs, I think, once again, that the disability itself being credited with causing the change directly is another factor. When this happens, it's usually because "it put things into perspective for me and showed me what really mattered."

This sounds better than our previous example on the surface, but stories that use this logic are often still portraying disability as an inherently bad and tragic thing, something so bad, in fact, that it makes all the other (legitimate) issues they thought were massive before seem so small by comparison. This is a type of inspiration porn: content made to make non-disabled people feel inspired or just better about their own situation. It's the mentality of "well my life is bad, but it could be worse, at least I'm not disabled like that!"

In a fictional story, this might look like an athlete character who dreamed of making it big so they could be famous and get out of poverty. They were a dick to anyone who got in their way but only because they were worried about not being able to make rent if they don't constantly win. One day though, they overworked themselves and got into a car accident on the way home because they were too tired, and now they're in a wheelchair and can no longer walk, which is (supposedly) absolutely tragic and way worse than anything else they were already going through. But they end up becoming a better person because it has put things into perspective for them. Yeah they were struggling to make ends meet, but at least they weren't disabled! Now that they are, they know they shouldn't have cared so much, because money doesn't matter when compared to not being able to walk, right?

As well as portraying disability in a negative light, these kinds of stories dismiss and diminish the other struggles or challenges the character is experiencing, placing the status of "not disabled" above all else.

There's also the fact that, when a lot of real people say their disabilities had positive impacts on their lives, they don't usually mean the disability itself is directly responsible for the change. There's exceptions of course but for myself personally, and most of the people I know who say they are better people because of/since becoming disabled, the disability has been more of a neutral catalyst than the actual cause of positive change. Meaning, it opened the door to allow those changes to happen, but it wasn't the direct cause. For me personally, becoming physically disabled at a young age didn't make me a nice person like people expect, I was still a little judgemental asshole for a lot of my childhood. However, because I was disabled, I had to travel a lot, initially because I needed medical treatment that my local hospital wasn't equip to provide, and later, because I started competing in disability sports. because of both of those things, I met people I never would have otherwise who made me reconsider what I'd been taught on a wide range of subjects, and made me question where those beliefs had come from in the first place. When I say my disability played a part in who I became, it wasn't because my disability itself change me, but it helped me meet people who were positive influences on me and my life. but when creatives make characters who experience arcs like this, they ignore this, again, defaulting to the "this was a bad thing that just put all my other problems into perspective" reasoning.

Some iterations of this trope also use disability as a kind of "karmic punishment" where the disability is portrayed as a rightfully deserved punishment for an evil character's deeds - usually something relating to the disability they acquired but not always. An example might look like an evil tyrant who punishes the rebels they captured by cutting off their hands. Eventually, this catches up with him, maybe the friend or a child of one of the rebels is able to capture the tyrant and cuts his hands off as payback so that he gets a taste of his own medicine, a taste of the suffering he imposed on others. Now facing at least one of the same realities of the people he subjugated, he realises the error of his ways. With some pressure from the main characters, he has a change of heart and surrenders himself, steps down to let someone else take his place, or perhaps he decides to start changing policies to be more in-line with these new morals until some other character usurps him, becoming an even bigger threat than the previous former tyrant.

Once again, stories that use a disability like this are still portraying the disability as an overall inherently bad thing, but there's the added layer at play in this example. The thing is, there are a lot of people in real-life who actually believe disability is a punishment from God. I remember one time when I was over in the US, an older lady came and sat down on the seat beside me on the bus and started asking me about my disability and specifically, how I became disabled. This isn't an unusual interaction, it happens fairly regularly whenever I use public transport, but on this particular day, the conversation suddenly shifted when I told her I became disabled when I was very young. This woman, despite the bus-driver's best efforts to get her to stop, ended up lecturing me for an hour and a half (during which time I couldn't move due to how my wheelchair was held in place) about how my disability was punishment from God for my parent's sins. She then tried to convince me to attend her church, claiming they would be able to heal me. And the thing is, this isn't an uncommon experience.

A lot of disabled people are targeted by cults using this same method: they'll convince people their disabilities are a punishment, make them believe they deserved it, that they just weren't good enough, but don't worry, if you repent and come to our specific church we can heal you. There was even a case in Australia recently that uncovered a cult called Universal Medicine, who taught that disabled people were reincarnations of evil people, and that being disabled in this life was their punishment, as well as that parents who have disabled children were being punished for other sinful behaviours. They were found to be operating a disability care service named Fabic that was being paid for by the NDIS, a subsection of the Australian government funded healthcare system that specifically aids disabled Australians by paying for and subsidising treatments, technologies (such as mobility aids) and other services relating to their disability. Fabic was found to be stealing excessive amounts of funding from their disabled clients under the guise of therapies and carer services, but was not actually helping their clients at all. Whether it's just taking advantage of them to get their money, or actually using this logic as a justification to mistreat them, this mentality of "disability is a punishment" actually gets real disabled people hurt or worse, and so seeing it come up in media, even if there is no ill-intent, can be very distressing and uncomfortable for disabled audiences.

So with all this being said, is the disabling change of heart a trope you should avoid in all it's forms and versions? No, but it does need to be handled with extreme care. I do think it should be avoided as a reason for a character becoming evil for the most part. If that really can't be avoided in your story though, at the very least, ensure that you foreshadow the change. Your happy little ray of sunshine, embodiment of sweetness and innocence type character probably isn't going to turn murderous and want revenge for an accident for example. A character who is likely to be driven to that kind of extreme of wanting revenge for their disability, so much so that they become a villain, probably already had at least a few traits that would predispose them to that line of thinking already, before becoming disabled. As for when it goes in the other direction, and you have a character becoming a good guy, avoid using the reasoning that "the disability put things into perspective for me". Instead, if you must use this version of the trope, use the character's new disability as the reason they encountered other people and situations that challenged their views, things they wouldn't have encountered otherwise. No matter the reason though, be very careful to avoid inspiration porn, and as always, try to find a sensitivity reader to give your story a once-over, just to make sure something didn't slip under your radar.

[Thumbnail ID: An illustrated image showing the same elf character twice. The picture of her on the left shows her laughing evilly, two tiny horns protruding through her brown hair. She is wearing a black dress and red shoes. On the right shows her in a yellow dress, sitting in a bright pink wheelchair with her head held eye and her eyes closed. The horns have been replaced with a glowing halo. In the centre is text that reads: "Disability Tropes: The disabling change of heart." /End ID]

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