#the next 3 days are a complete fever dream for Ivis | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

strrawberrii · 3 years

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wildflower {four}

What happens when you start to fall out of love with your husband? What happens when that husband is Kim Namjoon?

pairing: idol husband Namjoon x reader

tag / warnings: none really, just minor mentions of alcohol and drinking

author note: thank you for the continued support!! <3

I wasn’t sure what was worse; living in a fever dream of a marriage or living in a silent one. Since the night Namjoon found out truly how I had been feeling and that I believed we no longer should be together anymore, our daily lives had started to shift and it really was starting to bother me in a way I wasn’t quite sure why. I still put Yumi’s needs before everything - stuck to my routine of cleaning, cooking and caring for my daughter practically alone - but now the days dragged on even longer than they ever had before and Namjoon would not talk to me.

It wasn’t that I’d overtly tried to talk to him either, but it was very clear that he was avoiding me at all costs. In the past month I’d maybe caught a glimpse of his face a handful of times but only in passing and it was making me uneasy which only bothered me more.

Wasn’t this exactly what I wanted?

Why did it suddenly feel like I was even more isolated than before?

The mornings were early and the nights were late and on the days where Namjoon couldn’t be at the label, the studio door was kept locked tightly shut with him hunkered down inside. He never came to bed after that confession and instead resolved to sleep either at one of the boys' places or in the studio if they forced him to go home. I only knew of that fact because, despite the ever growing abyss that was sucking me and my husband down into it, I still was on fairly good terms with the rest of the men in my life.

“You know,” Yoongi said after we’d just gotten coffee at our favorite spot. The cafe, Cafe Cache, was only known to those who had stumbled upon it. If you didn’t know it was there you never would have even seen it since it was tucked beneath an overhang of ivy, the faded green door blended in so smoothly it was as if it wasn’t even there at all. We’d stumbled upon it one day after Yoongi and I decided to try every coffee spot in town to decipher which pot would ultimately win and be dubbed the best. It had been a happy accident of myself tripping over a root in the tree blocking the front of the shop and stumbling into the worn in door. We’d been going there ever since his late debut days to the point the shopkeeper knew our orders by heart.

I had not been all that surprised to see Yoongi’s name pop up on my phone a few weeks into Namjoon’s late night charade and I begrudgingly answered despite the fact that I knew he was going to force me out of my cocoon of solitude to talk. “You really should just have an actual conversation with him.” He continued as we soaked up the warmth of the cafe. The bitter air outside was matching my attitude toward this entire conversation and the fact that Yoongi was making me face the very things I had been worried about facing was making it even worse.

“Been there, done that.” I rolled my eyes as I waved him off and Yoongi frowned at me in his signature pouty style. Despite Namjoon’s insistent need to keep everyone away from me, he’d always liked how close I was with some of the members of the group. I’d known them all for as long as I could remember since I’d been with Namjoon for just about longer than that. Particularly Yoongi and I had gotten the closest out of the bunch for his love of my homemade japchae during the later part of their trainee days when I would send some back to the dorm with Namjoon and for our sarcastic tendencies when around all the members. Because of our close relationship he knew he didn’t have to mince words with me, he could tell it to me straight and he, above all else, could be trusted to have my best interests at heart.

“You know what I mean.” He retorted back, never missing a beat. Yoongi could always be counted on to pull me out of my head and make me actually talk about things for a change. He was one of the people I held most dear in my life for so many reasons but mostly because, aside from what Namjoon used to be, he was my best friend. “Quit the cat and mouse game. Just go and talk to him. Really talk to him.” Being as blunt as ever, I couldn’t help but sigh at his response. I knew he was right and it pissed me off.

“Yoongi, I tried. Literally just that. And it didn’t work.” We found ourselves at the counter bar, mixing our drinks to their desired taste, and I immediately grabbed a handful of sugar packets, my ever growing sweet tooth taking over the better part of my brain. My hands were slightly shaking as Yoongi began to talk, sighing as he stirred a small amount of milk into his black coffee. It wasn’t that I didn’t want his advice but the more we talked about Namjoon the more I was starting to really lose it and could feel myself getting more and more frustrated at the situation I had created for myself.

It wasn’t as if my feelings had suddenly changed again and it wasn’t as if I was having a change of heart, but the more and more Namjoon avoided me the more and more lonely and frustrated I felt. If I thought him being away was bad, having him right down the hall was even worse. Especially when it was all radio silence; static that was making me go crazy.

“No, you both are being foolish and full of emotion. Be more pragmatic about the issue.” He paused to sip his coffee and to avoid my eyes as he continued. “You know, whatever that issue may be.” He shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal, as if this whole situation wasn’t making me completely feel like a dying star caving in on itself.

“Oh please,” Stirring the seventh packet of sugar into my cup, I couldn’t help but frown looking back down at my cream colored liquid. “Don’t act like you don’t know exactly what was said. I know he tells you just about everything.”

“Then,” He swatted my hand from grabbing the next packet of sugar and really looked at me. It was still odd and a little jarring to see him so genuinely interested in a topic that involved my love life to this day since most thought Yoongi was cold and calculated in every situation but that wasn’t necessarily the case. At least, not with the people he cared about. “You know that I’m right.”

I let out a sigh I didn’t know I had been holding as I contemplated his words. “Why can’t he come and talk to me then? Huh? You know all this is his fault.” I retorted, sullen and mad that Yoongi was trying to get me to go to Namjoon when what I really wanted was for him to come to me. Why was this so hard? Why would my husband not talk to me? Despite the fact of the words that were exchanged, I wanted to feel like he wanted to fight for me at least. Especially after the words that were said, how he begged me not to leave and I did just that - stayed. Why wasn’t Namjoon fighting for his family?

“All this fault? Please. You’re smarter than this.” He ticked disapprovingly at me while he shook his inky haired head and we began to exit the tiny cafe, avoiding all the tree roots in the process. “You could have spoken up more about how you were feeling. Don’t solely put the blame on one person. To me, the way I see it, is you both are just being hard headed. You both clearly love each other otherwise you still wouldn’t be at the apartment. You’d be at your parents house in Mokpo and Namjoon would be selling the apartment to get rid of the memories. But,” He continued as we walked, the bitter cold making the warmth from the coffee cure our shivers. “You both are still there for the most part. You both are still being stubborn. And you both,” He sighed, clearly done. “Are annoying the shit out of me.”

“Hey,” I laughed a bit as we came to a stop on the side of the street to rest on a park bench. “You’re the one that dragged me out of a perfectly good solace thank you very much.”

We had been walking for a few minutes to our favorite park and as we sat down so many memories were flooding back. I couldn’t help but relive the details of Yoongi and myself discovering this bench the first time we’d decided it would be a good idea to gorge ourselves on all you could eat gogi and the mess we’d gotten ourselves into, it seemed, after we’d eaten so much to the point we were both sick. This bench had seen everything; from me crying on his shoulder when I found out Namjoon would be leaving for the better part of two years, when I found out I was pregnant and was too scared to tell anyone other than Yoongi, when we’d been so drunk we couldn’t walk and kept laughing over the dumbest of things, almost puking behind it before calling a taxi to go home. It appeared that, with everything going on, I’d been in much more of a hazy and fogged state than I had realized with all the dusty memories deciding to resurface lately. It seemed that no matter how much I wanted to forget so many things from the past and move on, they were going to catch up to me no matter what.

It was still so odd to be sitting there with him despite the fact that I felt total comfort at the same time. I hadn’t seen him in so long and I forgot that Yoongi had this way about him that always made me feel welcome which used to shock the other members since he never really showed an interest in any of the girls the members brought home over the many years. I was different though, he had said, and that made my heart soar every time we were around each other. It was also quite jarring that Namjoon supported our close friendship. He didn’t mind that we would talk on the phone, texted constantly, and would go on outings like this where we just talked about life.

“Eh I wanted to check in. You know,” He sighed deeply this time and studied my face before offering a gummy smile that made my insides thaw. “Namjoon isn’t my only friend. You’re my friend too.”

“Aww, how sentimental. Are you growing soft on me Yoongs?” He rolled his eyes at me before the smile on his face disappeared into his deadpanned one.

“Shut up and drink your diabetes in a cup.” The banter continued like that for sometime while we sat on the bench long after the sunset like two old men on a porch swing; staring into the silent lives of all the people that passed us, contemplating who was going where, what they were doing and who, we wondered, were they going to meet.

Later, when Yoongi was called away to deal with his own life and I’d sat on the bench much longer than intended, I stalked home begrudgingly. It was odd, the sensation I had in the pit of my stomach as I trekked down the hallway towards the studio door only to find it open. It was as if butterflies were trying to use their fluttering wings to cut through my stomach lining. Where was Namjoon lurking if not in the studio? I was finding myself too nervous to find out when I heard something from within the apartment.

“Hyung, what am I supposed to do?” The voice startled me since it had been four weeks since I had heard it and I jumped unknowingly as my body continued to betray me.

“You know what you’re supposed to do Namjoon, why are you asking me?”

“Because...because I still love her and she wants nothing to do with me.”

“Aish,” I heard Seokjin say under his breath. I would know that voice anywhere and it appeared that Namjoon was residing in the kitchen with him. “You are so frustrating. Just go and talk to your wife.”

“But she wants nothing to do with me! She made that very clear. What is there even to say? Oh let’s get divorced? No, absolutely not. I won’t accept it. I will not talk to her because that is what she’s going to say and I don’t want that.” Something irked inside of me at the mention of divorce. It loomed over my head like a rain cloud out of nowhere and it really bothered me in a way that made me nervous. What was wrong with me?

“Have you ever even considered that this isn’t about what you want?” Seokjin sighed again, exasperated. “What did she tell you, huh? That she didn’t know herself. That she couldn’t be with you because you are always gone and you feel like a stranger to her. She didn’t mention divorce.”

“But she did say we shouldn’t be together.”

“And look,” He paused slightly. It sounded as if he was stuffing his face full of some kind of food. “She’s still here isn’t she? And besides, if you actually love her then get off your ass and go and talk to her. Fix this issue. You don’t want to be a stranger to her? Then don’t be. It’s pretty simple really. Now,” He paused. “Pass me that kimbap.”

Feeling as though I had just heard a very private conversation I tried my best to sneak past the kitchen unseen but, as luck would have it, I failed tripping over one of Yumi’s forgotten toys.

“Look who it is!” Seokjin yelled, making me jump in the process as he clapped his hands together. My eyes met Namjoon briefly and I could tell from across the room that his face was flushed a light crimson color as if I’d just pounced in on their conversation which he was flustered about. Which, despite the fact that I unintentionally did, was jarring to me. Who was Namjoon becoming that he got so easily embarrassed by my presence? “Come and eat!”

“It’s okay,” I tried. “I don’t want to impose-”

“Don’t be like that. I haven’t seen you in a year, get in here.” Truth dripped from his mouth in a way that made me feel so sullen that I entered the kitchen despite not wanting to necessarily be around Namjoon. They were sitting opposite each other at our kitchen table and gorging themselves on a variety of foods it seemed; laughing and talking before things got serious I could tell since there were soju bottles lining the edge of the table.

“I forgot how loud you could be.” I meant to think it but instead it came out of my mouth a bit louder than I would have liked and Seokjin nearly spit out his drink everywhere from laughing. I had forgotten how exuberant he could be, especially when slightly intoxicated, and it made me smile. Namjoon was looking dead at me as this all occurred and it made those pesky little butterflied kick back up at full speed. Being in the same room with him after so long of not even seeing his face was making me overheat and I felt flushed for some odd reason.

What was happening to me? I thought I didn’t want anything to do with him and yet, after seeing Yoongi and now Seokjin, my mind could only process one thing: how good it felt to have them all back around me.

“What are you guys eating?” I asked timidly.

“My homemade kimbap and some kimchi my family sent me. Now,” He patted the spot next to him that was across from Namjoon as he pushed a bunch of empty snack bags out of the way. Shaky and nervous I made my way towards him. “Sit next to me. Let’s drink!”

It didn’t slip by me when I sat down that Seokjin shot Namjoon with a knowing look before jerking his head in my direction. If I was a different person, maybe I would have initiated some kind of conversation, but with Namjoon and Seokjin both looking now in my direction it left me speechless.

“Hey,” Namjoon started, grabbing a bottle of my favorite flavor soju and cracking it open. I watched as he grabbed an empty cup, pouring it full to the brim before handing it over to me. I took it without hesitation, figuring getting a little drunk might take the edge off, and shivered slightly as our fingertips brushed. He was blushing again I could see and I was mostly certain it wasn’t just from the alcohol.

“Excuse me guys, duty calls.” Seokjin interrupted lifting himself up from the table and walking down the hall and towards the bathroom. I waited until he was fully gone, hearing the click of the door for good measure, before I mustered up the courage to look directly at Namjoon. He was sitting there, face unshaven and scruffy, hair a total mess, a stain on a white tee he was wearing that showed off his newly acquired arm muscles and, my God, did he look so unbelievably attractive.

“Hey,” I managed back a beat too late. Namjoon just scratched the back of his head before he pushed the plate of kimbap towards me.

“Please eat.” He said quietly. “It’s delicious.”

“I bet.” The small talk, as few words spoken as we both could manage, was already killing me. Being in this proximity of him was heating my face and body to a degree that was making me squirm underneath his stare. I took a shot of my drink before looking up at Namjoon again. The liquid hit me like fire and I was hoping it would give me the courage I needed to get through the rest of this interaction.

“Jin helped me put Yumi to bed.” I nodded, chewing the newly acquired food without thought. “She went down really easy.”

“That’s good. Maybe she’ll actually sleep tonight.” Bitterness set back in as I looked at him. Earlier I had dropped Yumi off at her school before going out with Yoongi, only sending Namjoon a simple text informing him that he would be responsible for picking up our daughter since I had plans. He hadn’t responded which only made my furry grow more. Lately it felt very much of the same. It was as if Namjoon was a completely different person living in our apartment and entirely separate from our family. He didn’t eat with us, he didn’t play with Yumi and he certainly didn’t put her to sleep. It was as if I was still a single parent even though I had a husband who was just down the hall.

“I’m sorry,” Namjoon admitted, looking down at the empty tin foil that sat in front of him. I couldn’t help but tilt my head to the side as if confused by his sudden confession until he continued. “I know I haven’t exactly been the best of help lately.”

No you haven’t, I wanted to say. Instead I just shrugged. “I’m used to it.” I didn’t miss when he winced at my words but I also wasn’t sorry I said them. It was just simply a fact.

“How was your outing with Yoongi?” He changed the subject when he realized that talking about our daughter was only going to result in a fight. When it came to her I couldn’t help myself; I was extremely overprotective. Having taken care of her by myself for all these years had really ingrained that in me whether I wanted to be or not.

“Good,” I nodded; my lips widening at the thought. “I missed him.” I confessed just now letting it hit me just how much I had missed him. The year had been so lonely and even though we would message, Yoongi was very busy and couldn’t always get back to me. It would be pretty safe to say I’d slipped in and out of my depressive episodes and would ignore my phone for weeks. Perhaps that’s why I’d gravitated towards Sujin at first; out of loneliness. We’d become easy friends out of convenience at first and it blossomed from there. He was filling the void in me that I didn’t know I needed filled until he was there, answering my calls late at night, letting me vent about my marriage, letting me just be me with my daughter without the pressures of having an idol husband and friends.

“I’m glad you could see him then.” He was smiling at me in a way that made my stomach and insides churn with thoughts I was trying my best to suppress. I watched as he took another shot of his drink and I followed suit, downing the whole mass of liquid. I reached for the bottle, filing my glass again before downing the whole thing one more time. I needed this. I needed to get these words out of my mouth.

“Namjoon,” I tried, picking at my hands again as I started to change the subject.Thanks to the flavorful liquid I finally had found some burst of courage and I wasn’t about to let it slip by me. The small talk was killing me to the point I couldn’t take it anymore and all I wanted was answers. I could feel his eyes on me as I continued to pick my hands but Namjoon made no motions to try and stop me this time. “Do you think this is working?”

“Is what working?” He asked slightly puzzled, hands knotting together as he looked at me.

“Us.” There was a long pause in which the quiet hum of the air purifier filled the silence that came from him until he finally spoke.

“If I’m being totally honest,” He sighed, running his hands through his hair. He looked so beaten down and tired that I was starting to wonder just how many sleepless nights he’d had since my confession. “No.”

“So you understand then? What I said? About how I was feeling?” I could feel myself holding my breath.

“Not fully at first...but I guess I understand a little bit more now.” Of course you do, I wanted to say. It was, after all, thanks to your group mates who had intervened to mediate a different trajectory of an outcome. Instead I just nodded. “Look I won’t pretend that I’m blameless but,” He sighed. “I don’t think I’m fully to blame either.” I sat there for a long moment, considering Yoongi’s words from earlier, before I let myself look back at him.

“I...agree. I’ll admit that I could have been more...outspoken about some things. But Namjoon, you have to agree that we aren’t exactly...close anymore. That we haven’t been. For a while-”

“Babe,” He tried, slightly interrupting my train of thought to reach out to touch me. “Please stop. You’re starting to bleed again.” And there he was, with those long fingers of his touching mine ever so gently that I could feel everything in me buzzing alive once more. The sweet Namjoon that I’d missed for so long had returned in that light touch that it felt like an electric shock had been jolted into my system. The pesky butterflies were back, going at full speed now, and I was shaking slightly due to his warmth. He was leaning over the table, so close to me that I could feel the heat alight my face like a lit flame.

When I looked up, I could see that Namjoon was blushing a deep shade of crimson but, despite the fact that he seemed to be just as jittery as me, he didn’t back down. Instead, his eyes were focused on just me, his hands were on top of my hands and his lips, the ones that were parted ever so slightly, were moving forward towards me in just a way that I was just about to let them.

“Yah, why are you guys so quiet?” It was Seokjin’s boisterous voice that broke me of the spell of Namjoon and we quickly jerked back from each other. What the hell had almost just happened? “You better have saved me some food!” When Seokjin entered the kitchen we were back in our normal positions; Namjoon sitting quietly in his seat flushed with me picking at my hands while I stuffed my face full of gimbap and he just sighed when he saw us.

“Momma?” A small voice broke out and instantly all eyes turned towards the door of the kitchen.

“Yumi, what are you doing awake love?” I spoke through a mouthful of food, brows knitting together as I started to rise out of my seat. Motherly instinct was taking over again and I didn’t hesitate even once to see if Namjoon would get up to see what was the matter.

“I had a bad dream.” She yawned widely looking half dazed.

“Don’t get up, I got her.” I watched as Seokjin scooped her up in his arms and trekked back towards her bedroom, bouncing her along the way as she wrapped her arms around his neck, nestling her tiny head into his shoulder as he soothed her. I wanted to scream at Namjoon, tell him that’s how he should be acting, but instead I sat back down and swallowed my food as I avoided his gaze.

“I’m sorry,” He sputtered a beat later. “I’m just...really sorry. To be honest, I’m struggling here.” He breathed out a deep sigh. “I don’t know what to do. All I know is I don’t want to let go of you but I want to give you your space at the same time. Please,” He was begging. “Tell me what to do.”

“Namjoon,” I sighed, beaten down at this point and a little drunk. This day had been really long and, quite frankly, draining. While it was nice to have seen Yoongi and spent some time with him, I had to admit that the activity of actually leaving the house for myself was way more draining than I had thought it would be. Especially since all we did was talk about my love life. Coming home to find Seokjin and Namjoon drinking in our kitchen was another surprise on top of my ever changing mood and, with Namjoon having been so close only moments prior, my head was spinning. What was even going on anymore? My life was such a mess. “Do whatever you want.” And with that, in the mere seconds it took for me to stand up and for him to get out of his chair and be at my side, he was leaning in to kiss me.

tag list: @amordesiempre01 @namucries

#bts namjoon #bts kim namjoon #bts #bts x reader #kim namjoon #kim namjoon x reader #bts fanfic #wildflower #strrawberrii #namjoon x reader

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ill-skillsgard · 5 years

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Patterns in the Ivy, Part 2 - Bill Skarsgård

Title: Patterns in the Ivy

Description: A continuation of Smoke & Money. Ghosts from the not-so-distant past come back to threaten her. She must choose between a lavish life of servitude or have everything she ever loved stripped away.

Warning: 18+ smut/swearing/mentions of drugs/kink & fetish themes

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

I could not sleep. I was afraid there were people parked in cars on my street watching me. I feared somebody would try to lure Ivany away from me. Fretting and pacing, I wondered if Bill could resort to kidnapping. After all, I did not know what was he truly capable of.

I knew that he had the means but it had been so long since I saw him that I honestly thought he had given up searching for me. As usual, I was wrong. I wondered how he had found out her name and what sort of things had he done to dig up information about me. Did he pay off my boss to get facts? Had he hired somebody to track me down? I could not be sure.

Riddled by the fear of eyes being on me, I stayed up all night and into the morning. A full twenty-four hours of being awake and overwrought with crippling panic made it hard for me to conceal myself. When I went downstairs to wake Kiki she was already up and confused by my presence.

"J? Holy shit what time is it?" She squinted at me from my place on the stairs. "Are you okay? You look kind of..."

"Shook? Yeah. You could say that."

"Oh my God," she popped off the couch. "Are you okay? Did something happen at the club?"

"Nothing violent. No... Everything is okay. I just... Somebody was there that I didn't want to see."

"Who?"

"It was... Bill."

"What!?" She heaved.

I raised my hands up. "Please don't worry though. It's all good."

"Are you sure?" She continued. "You want me to take Ivy for a while?"

Her offer warmed my heart and I offered in return the smallest smile I could muster to try to cover up the fact that I was about to have a nervous breakdown. I hid my shaking hands behind my back, suddenly becoming aware that I was still wearing my work uniform and Ivany was going to wake at any moment.

"No... You live right next door. By now he probably already knows where I live anyway."

"Ooohh, is that the guy you told me about who is really rich and had you followed and stuff?"

I had divulged some of my life's secrets to Kiki before in a drunken stupor. She and I had partied a little too much once and I accidentally drank enough to get talking about the ghosts of my past. She knew that I had been on the run from him since I landed on the East Coast.

"J... Seriously... Are you in trouble? I have a cousin who has ties with gangs and the mafia... I can get you protection!" She exclaimed.

"Oh my God Kiki, no. It's fine! Don't fucking contact the mafia." I laughed. "For all I know, Bill might be in the mafia."

"How did he find you?" She asked.

"I don't know. He's not very... forthcoming with his methods or intentions." I lied. "To be honest I don't actually know him that well. We hooked up a few times but he wasn't really one to talk about himself."

Kiki blew out some hot air. "Alright well, just let me know if you need anything."

I smiled at her again, starting to feel a little fraction of a percentage better. "Just... Keep your eye out for some nice cars parked around here. BMW's or Lincolns or something and don't answer any questions. I don't know if he's got a private investigator on me or what. It could be anything. He has a lot of money."

"J... this sounds really serious. Are you sure..."

I let out a heavy sigh, feeling the tightness in my throat coming back. "Kiki..."

"What is it?"

I could no longer hold back my tears. "He's Ivany's Father."

"Woah... You never told me anything like that."

"I know," I sobbed. "I didn't want anyone to find out. Now he wants her and I don't know what to do. He said he'll take me to court if I don't go back out West with him."

Kiki offered as much comfort as she possibly could but there wasn't much that could be said to calm me down. I assured her over and over that I would be fine and that she didn't have to worry, that I would figure something out because I always managed to. However, if I was being honest with myself, I knew not a way to wiggle out of the hole I had found myself in.

When I drove Ivany to school I talked to her about strangers. I explained to her that she was not to speak to anybody she didn't know besides her school teachers and adults that she knew. Gazing at her lovingly in the rearview mirror, I feared the worst. I was exhausted but I wouldn't let on to that until I watched her enter the school doors. I needed to sleep desperately.

Sitting in my car, I waited until all the school buses had come and gone and all the kids filed into the building. I had to be certain that she was safe. I didn't leave until I was sure that her class had started. Shifting my eyes around, I checked out the cars parked along the street. I couldn't rule out a thing when it came to Bill. Once I was convinced there was nobody else hanging about, I started my car and headed for home to see if I could get at least a couple hours of sleep.

Sleep did not come easy and when it did, it didn't last long. I tossed and turned on my couch, having fevered dreams of people kidnapping my daughter. I would wake up and go to the window to look outside just to check for suspicious cars then go back to laying on the couch. When I finally did manage to fall asleep completely I ended up sleeping too long and when I woke up I had to scramble to leave. Ivany was due out from school in ten minutes and it took me nearly twenty minutes to get there.

The universe must have had it out for me that day because I hit every red light on the way and got stuck behind people who couldn't decide whether to turn left or right. I kept glancing at the clock and clutching the wheel, speeding when I had the chance and cutting people off but no matter what maneuver I pulled, I seemed to get stuck behind a truck, a car, a light or someone crossing the street.

When I pulled up I was already late. Kids were piling out of the school heading towards buses or parents. I scanned the bus loading area but I couldn't see her. I whipped off my seat belt and got out of my car. I searched for her frantically amongst the hoards of children and parents.

"Mommy!" I heard her shout.

I zoned in on where I heard her voice come from and there she was; running towards me, backpack bouncing up and down behind her, a stuffed animal in her grip.

"Mommy look what I got." She held out a velveteen rabbit with floppy ears, ebony eyes, an embroidered pink nose and a blue suit on.

"Oh...Where did you get that honey?" I asked her.

"That man," she pointed. "Over there with Miss Bayer."

I looked up and saw him standing there beside Ivany's teacher. Miss Bayer waved and smiled at me and so did Bill, the fucking prick. I felt my anger rising inside me like a pot about to splash its scalding hot contents all over the place. If I wasn't in a public place surrounded by people I would have shrieked at the top of my lungs until I popped blood vessels.

I knelt down in front of her and whispered, "Ivany, what did Mommy just tell you about talking to strangers, huh? What did I say?"

"But mommy... He said he was your friend. He knows my name."

"Yes, but you don't know his."

"Yeah I do, it's Bill."

I swallowed and prepared myself for what was bound to be an excruciatingly awkward conversation with her teacher and Bill. "Stay right here. Don't move a muscle."

He was wearing a thin white shirt with a deep V neckline underneath a charcoal gray blazer with matching pants. His hair was styled back, pulled away from his face in subtle waves. His striking profile was difficult not to appreciate. His lips, his upturned nose, his big green eyes; all those features had stuck so clearly in my mind with the help of Ivany, a constant reminder of him. There was no escaping him. He knew it too. That devilish smile spread across his face as I approached. Without a doubt, he knew the pain I was in from trying to conceal my shock that he had shown up. It made him look all the eviler.

"Hello, Miss Bayer. How are you?"

"Good! I just wanted to make sure Ivany had her usual way home."

"Yeah," I chuckled nervously. "I am running a little late."

"I was just saying to Ivany's teacher that we were both going to convene here to pick her up for ice cream."

The lies coming forth from his mouth were enough to make me cringe but I didn't want to raise any red flags. The last thing I needed was a call to child protective services. The teachers had a reputation for sounding the alarm at even the most minuscule of things when it regarded the safety of the children in attendance at the school. Mrs. Bayer was the stout little ring-leader of the whistle-blowers too. She was so full of self-righteousness that it practically leaked out of her ears when she spoke. All it would take would be one phone call from Mother Goose if she thought I was putting Ivany in harm's way.

"Yep! Well, here we are. I guess we better get going." I said through clenched teeth and a fake smile.

"It was so nice to meet you," Miss Bayer gushed to Bill.

"Likewise." He replied.

I turned and quickly made my way back over to Ivany who had been waiting patiently with the stuffed rabbit under her arm. "Okay honey, let's get heading home now."

"But I thought we were going to get ice cream," she whined.

"No, not today-"

"Of course we are!" Bill interrupted.

"Yay!" Ivany cried out.

I threw daggers at him wordlessly. I could not believe the unbridled audacity. He smiled at me and then at Ivany who took her turn smiling at both of us.

"Fine, but we're taking my car," I said.

The awkwardness was heavy when all three of us got into the car, at least it was for me. Ivany seemed ecstatic and Bill hardly paid me any attention. He looked back at Ivany sitting in her booster seat and told her about where the rabbit came from. No doubt it was some insanely overpriced vintage doll he had picked up somewhere to tempt her with. She listened with ears perked at everything he was saying, absorbing his words and his charm as most any girl would. I watched her smile and nod her head to his story and I could not believe what I was seeing.

Witnessing them both together was the strange thing I had often thought of when I was alone or daydreaming. The inevitability of it all belittled me. To think I had banked on never encountering Bill again in my life. After months turned into years with no sign of him I had let my guard down and allowed him to find us. Now he was already winning Ivany over and I couldn't do anything but sit there and scream inwardly for it all to stop. But it wouldn't stop.

I drove to the closest ice cream parlor and followed the both of them in, eyes on the back of Bill's head. He was in constant conversation with Ivany and I felt almost betrayed that she had already taken such a liking to him. I suppose any good-looking man that came around with nice things and sweet words could worm his way into a heart or two but Bill... Bill had a parasitic charm that painted the rest of the world in black and white, leaving only him as the pinnacle of attention, impossible to ignore. I couldn't blame her for liking him immediately.

Bill, of course, bought ice cream for Ivany and we went outside to sit in the sun. Ivany chose to sit on the ground with her new rabbit to pretend like they were having a picnic. I sat at the corner of a picnic table that had been painted a dozen times over but still had initials and hearts carved into it like scars. He sat in front of me and stared at me when I refused to acknowledge him.

"J... You can't stop this from happening so why don't you embrace it?" He asked me.

I sighed, unable to put into words all of the things I wanted to say to him.

"Look at me." He demanded.

I looked at him for a moment and then looked away. "I don't know what to say to you."

"Say anything you want."

My nerves crackled every time he spoke. That voice that I had never forgotten was speaking to me again and I faltered. Ivany wasn't paying attention to our conversation but I leaned in and lowered my voice just in case. "You didn't need to make a spectacle at her school. What did you tell her teacher anyway?"

"I told her I'm a family friend and that we were meeting for ice cream," he admitted.

"I thought you were going to give me some time to think about everything."

Bill smiled. "I just... I wanted to meet her."

My solar plexus felt like it was caving in when he said that to me. I did not anticipate that I would feel anything but contempt for Bill after the way I left things between us but there I was feeling weak to him again. I had wanted to keep Ivany away from him so that she would never find out what kind of person I had been. Now I just felt selfish.

"Are you alright?" Bill asked me.

"Yeah." I barely whispered, feeling tears heating up behind my eyes again.

"Hey," he tried to get my attention. "look at me, J."

I looked at him sitting across from me and felt two heavy tears fall down from each corner of my eyes. He looked at me with sympathy for the first time ever.

"She's beautiful," his voice lowered.

I nodded. She was beautiful because she looked like him. It was a fact that had haunted me from the day she was born. Whenever I felt safe it only took a look from her eyes to remind me that Bill was out there. Now he was right in front of me and I was crying.

"I should really be getting home. I have work later," I sniffled.

"No, I want you to stay with me. Call in sick."

"I can't."

Bill narrowed his gaze on me. "Please."

I rolled my eyes in an attempt to stop my tears from rolling down my cheeks. I quickly wiped them away so Ivany wouldn't catch me crying. Shaking my head at the ground, I sighed and met his eyes again.

"Why?"

"Because I want to talk to you."

"You already made yourself very clear last night."

"No," Bill said. "I want to actually talk to you. I want to. Please. Let's just talk."

There was no refusing Bill. I relented quickly for the sheer curiosity of what else he had to say to me. We put Ivany back in the car with her sticky hands and her new rabbit and got in ourselves, Bill in the passenger seat and me behind the wheel. I drove in silence towards home. The closer we got the more I dreaded what was to come.

Compared to Bill's estate, our townhouse seemed like a crack in the wall. I feared he would be judging every single thing from the crumbling stone steps to my sticky lock that took a lot of wrestling to get open. Ivany held onto his hand the whole time as they waited for me to open the door. I stepped aside and allowed Bill to enter first with Ivany.

"Do you want to see my room?" She asked him.

"Yes, of course. You lead the way."

I shut the door behind us and watched as Bill looked around our meager living room. He didn't look like he was too disgusted but then again he was being pulled to the stairs by an enthusiastic four-year-old. I stayed in the living room and sat on the couch, still exhausted and so hungry it hurt. Our daughter's excited voice echoed throughout the entire house. It wasn't long until I heard footsteps coming back down the stairs.

He looked out of place to me. I assumed Bill had never set foot in a townhouse before. The entire structure could fit into his mansion half a dozen times. I had nothing fancy or vintage or elegant like he had. I was almost embarrassed to look at him. After having borne witness to our tenuous little home, he must have felt even more convinced that he was going to take Ivany away from it.

"What is she doing?" I asked him, trying to make conversation.

"She's tidying up her room."

"Oh," I replied.

Bill sat down on the couch next to me. My first thought was to move away but I was frozen in place. Even more so as he reached his hand out to tip my face up. I did all I could to keep myself from getting caught up in his stare. I knew what he could do to me with just one look.

"Tell me you missed me a little," he urged, voice smooth and low.

"Bill..."

"Tell me," he whispered, bringing his face closer to mine. "Come on."

"There was nothing to miss."

I thought he was going to kiss me but he stopped inches away from my face. "Tell me... Tell me you missed Daddy."

I shivered and looked away from him. I did not want to admit that I felt a spark shooting up from my loins. I could not let him gain control over me. This man who's upscale jacket clashed painfully with the cheap microfiber sofa, who had paid me once to indulge his sexual fantasies, who had gotten me pregnant was using his hands to force me to stare at him just like he used to.

"Don't say that shit to me. Not while she's around." I berated him.

"She's upstairs. She can't hear a thing."

"I don't care. Not while she's here."

Bill sighed and dropped his hands from my face. "So you haven't told her I assume?"

"Haven't told her what?"

"About her Father."

"She's never asked," I admitted.

He blinked profusely like he had just swallowed something unpleasant. He stood up from the couch and paced over to the window, turned back to look at me for a moment and then continued to stare out at the street, shaking his head.

"Bill?"

I nearly jumped when he whipped around, anger evident on his face.

"What did I ever do to you besides give you the fucking life you wanted, huh?"

"Bill, lower your voice... Ivany."

"I don't care! I want to know what the Hell is going on in that little fucking head of yours. Why? Why!?"

I shrunk into the back of the sofa, afraid of how he might escalate. After all, I hadn't seen him in years and one of our last encounters he had almost pulled a gun on me but instead of him reddening, his expression melted into one I had never seen before.

"I gave you what you wanted and you ran from me and had our child... And you haven't even told her about me?"

There was a moment of silence before I could think of the right thing to say. "I didn't want that life. I didn't want to be that person anymore. I had to run."

"So instead you became a liar? Tell me that little girl hasn't asked you about why other kids at school have dads and she doesn't! Why are you constantly lying and hiding things? Don't you realize that your actions impact other fucking people around you? Or are you just so self-absorbed that you're incapable of feeling remorse?"

"You seem to forget that you stalked me to my place of work and threatened to take my child away from me. How dare you accuse me of being self-absorbed!"

Before Bill raised his voice higher, he suddenly held his tongue, attention pulled to the other side of the room. I looked behind me and saw Ivany slowly edging down the stairs.

"Are you guys mad at each other?" She asked, voice small but not afraid.

Bill and I looked at each other, our glares softening as our daughter came down the stairs with her new velveteen rabbit tucked safely underneath her arm. "No Ivany. Everything is fine. Come here." Bill said, motioning for her to come down.

Ivany hopped up onto the couch beside me and held out her new toy. I smiled, successfully masking all of the emotions running rampant inside me. With her presence, our conversation was cut short and I was relieved because I didn't have the energy to continue arguing with Bill. The last thing I wanted was for Ivany to overhear something that might confuse her.

Once the tension mostly dissipated, Ivany suggested we eat pizza for dinner. A good portion of the time I obliged her every suggestion. If Ivany wanted pizza for dinner, we had pizza, if she wanted to watch Frozen for the eightieth time, we watched it and sang every word together. When she felt like drawing or colouring I would get down on the floor with her and hand her each coloured pencil she asked for. Ivany was the little dictator that decided nearly everything besides the appropriate time to go to bed. Now that Bill was there, I felt a strange conflict. I wasn't sure if I should indulge Ivany's whims or if I should have looked to Bill to see what he wanted. He didn't seem like he had plans to leave any time soon.

"I think that's a great idea," Bill said, causing Ivany to smile profusely.

I narrowed my sight on Bill for but a moment. Was he already starting to work Ivany over to him, priming her to choose him over me? It was hard to be sure of his motives. It was hard to be sure of anything. On one hand, I believed what he had threatened at the club, that he would win Ivany over with toys and other such Fatherly affections, in turn driving a wedge between me and her. On the other, I could see a real sparkle come to his eyes when he looked at her. It was a mixture of amazement and pride and I could see how much Ivany absorbed it. The way he looked at her was genuine, there was no mistaking that.

Tell me you missed Daddy.

I squirmed a little when I thought of him grasping my face, forcing me to come close to him, close enough to feel his soft breath on my cheeks. Close enough to help me remember the filthy things he had done to me all those years ago.

I want you to come back home with me.

I pondered in silence. Could we become a little family? Was I acting on selfish impulse to hide Ivany from him or was I doing right to protect her? Now everything I had done up to that point was in question. Who was I to take a little girl from her Father? Who was I to deny her to him? Was protecting myself robbing her of a better life? All these questions beat me down mercilessly and all I could do for the moment was curl up in a ball and hope that they would leave me alive.

#bill skarsgård fanfiction #bill skarsgard fanfiction #bill skarsgård smut #bill skarsgard smut #fanfiction

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asfeedin · 4 years

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Latest Romance Book Releases – 04-28-2020

HAPPY TUESDAY NEW RELEASE DAY!! It’s a BIG list fully loaded with 85 books!!!! And yesterday’s list rocks worlds too, and then… I reviewed and awesome one so we have PLENTY to read, my friends.

In fact… Jan was already prepared!

Jan: Three new release preorders arrived on my kindle this morning. Whoops! I’d forgotten I’d ordered two of them. Where the Lost Wander (which I think I might read first), A Duke by Any Other Name by Grace Burrowes and another HR, Heiress for Hire by Madeline Hunter.

And while you’re here, don’t forget to check out:

AUDIOBOOK LVERS!

Not a member of Audible yet? Get a free 30 day audible trial (which includes 1 free audiobook + 2 audible originals)

READER RECOMMENDATIONS & BARGAIN FINDS:

TWO MONTHS FREE KINDLE UNLIMITED DEAL!!! <— If you haven’t tried it yet, now’s your chance (it’s still going on through the end of April).

and…

Infinite Us by Eden Butler <— EDEN BUTLER RE-RELEASE! “…Nash Nation loves zeroes and ones, over-sized monitors, and late office hours. He’s too busy taking over the world to make time for relationships—that is, until his new neighbor Willow O’Bryant barges into his life, and now Nash can’t shake the feeling that this isn’t the first time she’s interrupted his world. Then, the dreams start. And in the dreams—memories...”

Kathy: On Amy Harmon’s Facebook page, she posted that she read Eden Butler’s Infinite Us and highly recommended it.

Mony: Just finished The Cornerstone by Kate Canterbary and loved it! Steamy story about Hot Guy & Sassy Girl as they steer through one night stands into something more. Sassy Girl is great – sharp-witted & a tough nut to crack. H is a great alpha. Loved the slow burn & Hot Guy’s transformation. Banter between h & H is clever and even sharper in second half.

A 4.5-star read (deduction cause too much about h’s family). Plan to read The Spire (#6 in series)…story about Hot Doctor & Rebel Girl. Thanks Jan for mentioning this author!

Cicely: Hi Maryse! I just want to share that Absolution, the third book from The Disenchanted series from L.D. Davis is out now too!! The series is great and is worth some extra love.

Angst loving fanatic like me would love it!!!

Michele G: Tasha, where are you? I read it because of your high marks….you weren’t wrong!! I just finished The Sun Down Motel and it was AMAZING!! I listened to the audiobook and felt like I was in an episode of the Twilight Zone …or something at times…..so so good!!! I highly recommend!

Tasha J: YESS!! *claps hands* So glad you loved it

PARANORMAL/FANTASY/SCI-FI/DYSTOPIAN NEW RELEASES:

Shadowborn Academy: Year Three (Dark Fae Academy Series Book 3) by G. Bailey and Scarlett Snow <— REVERSE HAREM FAE!!

Possessive Alien Mate (Savage Martians Book 2) by Sue Mercury

Dragon Hero: Guardian Dragons of Prospect Falls by Serena Meadows

Playing Cards With Aliens (Kilbus Lord Book 1) by Erin Raegan

Mating Fever (Morgan Clan Bears, Book 3) by Theresa Hissong

The Unbound Queen: A Novel of the Four Arts by M.J. Scott

Wishes, Wings, and Woes: Reverse Harem Urban Fantasy (Gods and Demons Book 2) by Kaye Draper

The Impassioned Choice (Etherya’s Earth Book 5) by Rebecca Hefner

The Rising Queen Discovery in Water (The Elemental Chronicles Book 3): Reverse Harem Fantasy Romance Series by Gina Manis

Hidden Princess (The Elements Series Book 1) by M.A. Roth

Flourish: A High Fantasy Reverse Harem (The Blooming Courts Book 3) by Kendra Moreno and Poppy Woods

Kissed by the Alien Mercenary (Warriors of the Lathar Book 12) by Mina Carter

The Fourth Power: A Paranormal Women’s Fiction Romance Novel (Order of Magic Book 3) by Michelle M. Pillow

Starbreaker (Nightchaser Book 2) by Amanda Bouchet

Embracing Destiny (The Fae Chronicles #6) by Amelia Hutchins <— ELA FOUND IT!!!

Ela: MARYSE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Embracing Destiny (The Fae Chronicles #6) by Amelia Hutchins IS LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

CONTEMPORARY NEW RELEASES:

Where the Lost Wander: A Novel by Amy Harmon <— AMY HARMON ALERT!!! “…The Overland Trail, 1853: Naomi May never expected to be widowed at twenty. Eager to leave her grief behind, she sets off with her family for a life out West. On the trail, she forms an instant connection with John Lowry, a half-Pawnee man straddling two worlds and a stranger in both. But life in a wagon train is fraught with hardship, fear, and death...”

Tasha J: I finished Where the Lost Wander and I’m in . I cried a little when it was over. *sigh* Such a good book. …Where the Lost Wander is my best of read of the year for sure.

Mony: Where the Lost Wander is now on TBR list…thanks Tasha!

Michele G: I’m also reading Amy Harmon’s Where the Lost Wander and loving every word! She is such a versatile writer. I’m always amazed.

Rafe: An Arizona Vengeance Novella by Sawyer Bennett <— SAWYER BENNETT HOCKEY STAR SECOND CHANCE ROMANCE ALERT!! “…Now I’m home and when I’m not on the ice with my new team, I’m helping care for my dad. And in the midst of my grief, I find comfort from the one person I never expected. Calliope Ramirez stole my heart at a very young age. The beautiful, smart, headstrong girl next door, she was my first… everything. She has never forgiven me for leaving her, believing that I chose hockey over a future together. What she doesn’t understand is that every decision I made was for her, and I’ve never given up hope that one day we’d be together again...”

To My Arrogant Boss (The Inappropriate Bachelors Book 2) by J. S. Cooper <— SHE TOLD OFF HER GRUMPY BOSS! “…I thought it was time that someone addressed your big head and told you straight to your face that you’re not all that. Just because you have an Ivy league education doesn’t mean you’re the smartest man in the world. In fact, I’m not even sure if you would have gotten in if you didn’t have rich parents. Yes, I went there…”

Can’t Fight The Moonlight (Whisper Lake Book 3) by Barbara Freethy

Enchanted (The Accidental Billionaires Book 4) by J. S. Scott

Mayhem’s Betrayal: Operation Mayhem Book 5 by Lindsay Cross

A Monster’s Beauty (In the Arms of Monsters Book 3) by Sam Crescent <— TRILOGY CONCLUSION ALERT!!

Nailed (Four Bears Construction Book 2) by K.M. Neuhold

Heiress for Hire (A Duke’s Heiress Romance Book 1) by Madeline Hunter <— HISTORICAL ROMANCE ALERT!! “…Now he’s insisting that Minerva has inherited a fortune from his uncle, a wealthy duke. Only one thing could surprise her more: her sudden attraction to this exasperating man...”

Taking Liberty (The Next Generation Book 7) by Riley Edwards

Fierce Shadows: Shadows Landing #4 by Kathleen Brooks

Dirty Desires by Crystal Kaswell <— SHE NEEDS MONEY FOR HER SISTER’S MEDICAL BILLS... “...Ian Hunt has specific tastes. The feisty student is perfect. He has to have her. His offer is simple. Six figures. Thirty days. Him introducing her to every kind of pleasure. It’s ridiculous. The British businessman is richer than sin and hotter than hell. He can have any woman he wants. Why her?…”

Ransom for a Song (The Rockwater Suite Book 3) by Phyllis Clark Nichols

Still Wicked (The Wickeds Book 6) by Kathleen Ayers <— HISTORICAL!!!

Counting On Cole (Wilde Ways Book 8) by Cynthia Eden <— SHE HAD BEEN KIDNAPPED & HE RESCUED HER… “…Evangeline “Evie” Lake fell hard and fast for her tall, dark, and dangerous rescuer. Then he flew her back to her home, kissed her goodbye on the doorstep, and walked his sexy self away with looking back. He broke her heart into a million little pieces, and she swore off the “bad boys”—they were just trouble she didn’t want. Case closed...”

Hard Edge (Cobra Elite Book 4) by Pamela Clare

Cole’s Mistake (Haven, Texas Book 8) by Laylah Roberts

B*stard: Royal B*stards MC (Texas) by Sapphire Knight

Finally (Neighbor from Hell Book 12) by R.L. Mathewson <— R.L. MATHEWSON’S LATEST NEIGHBOR FROM HELL!!! “…After years of putting off taking the next step, Charlie was finally ready, mostly because her best friend had threatened to make her life a living hell if she didn’t. Knowing that she wouldn’t be able to pull this off unless she made some changes, Charlie somehow finds herself moving into the in-law apartment of the man that seemed to go out of his way to avoid her only to find herself wondering if she was chasing the wrong dream after all...”

Treasure Island SEAL: Pirate SEAL Rescues his Mermaid (Sunset SEALs Book 3) by Sharon Hamilton

Torque (Wicked Mayhem MC Book 1) by Harley Wylde

An Officer, Not a Gentleman: A Traditional Regency Romance (Brethren in Arms Book 3) by Elizabeth Johns

The Billionaire’s Fake Fiancée by Annika Martin <— HE NEEDS SOMEONE THAT IS NOT HIS TYPE AT ALL… “...my people go and hire Tabitha. My hairdresser. What were they thinking? Yes, I said annoying, but I didn’t mean Tabitha, the most frustrating woman in the world. Tabitha is sunshiny. She has a pet hamster. She loves Hello Kitty, and she gets under my skin like nobody else. As if that’s not bad enough, the minute we step on deck, she thinks that certain people on the yacht are up to something shady–based completely on her soap opera knowledge. She won’t listen when I tell her she’s being ridiculous...”

Saint (Heartlands Motorcycle Club Book 4) by Hope Ford

Hot SEAL, Bachelor Party: A Brotherhood Protectors Crossover Novel (SEALs in Paradise) by Elle James

Carpentry and Cocktails: A Heartfelt Small Town Romance (Green Valley Library Book 5) Nora Everly <— HE’S HER NEW NERDY-HOT LANDLORD!! “…Willa Hill has finally left her teen runaway past behind and wants a fresh start—alone. Men are nothing but trouble and she’s had enough man-trouble to last a lifetime. Too bad her irresistibly sexy, nerdy-hot landlord doesn’t agree. When their mutual yearning becomes a white-hot fling and passion crosses carefully drawn, albeit one-sided boundaries, Everett finds himself in love and Willa finds herself in a pickle. Because, unfortunately, when she returned to Green Valley, her problems came too…”

The Virgin and the Rogue (Rogue Files Book 6) by Sophie Jordan <— HISTORICAL!!

Unmatched Love: Henry & Lei Lu: A SEAL & Strong Heroine Military Romance (Black Swan Book 6) by KaLyn Cooper

Lessons in Lemonade (Starving for Southern Book 3) by Kathryn Andrews

Island Affair (Keys to Love Book 1) by Priscilla Oliveras <— THE FIREFIGHTER IS HER FAKE FIANCÉ!! “...Sought-after social media influencer Sara Vance, in recovery from an eating disorder, is coming into her own, with a potential career expansion on the horizon. Despite the good news, her successful siblings (and their perfect spouses) have a way of making her feel like the odd one out. So, when her unreliable boyfriend is a no-show for a Florida family vacation, Sara recruits Luis Navarro—a firefighter paramedic and dive captain willing to play the part of her smitten fiancé…”

A Shot at Redemption: The Detectives of Hazel Hill – Book Four by Liz Bradford

Losing It All (The Hellfire Riders Book 7) by Kati Wilde

A Duke by Any Other Name (Rogues to Riches Book 4) by Grace Burrowes <— HISTORICAL!!

Airborne by DiAnn Mills <— A VIRUS WAS RELEASED... “…As the virus quickly spreads and dozens of passengers fall ill, Heather fears she’s witnessing an epidemic similar to ones her estranged husband studies for a living—but this airborne contagion may have been deliberately released. While Heather remains quarantined with other survivors, she works with her FBI colleagues to identify the person behind this attack. The prime suspect? Dr. Chad Lawrence, an expert in his field . . . and Heather’s husband…”

Head Over Paws (Rescue Me Book 5) by Debbie Burns

Honey Buns: An Opposites Attract Romance by Cat Johnson

The Run Around by Bernadette Franklin <— SHE’S PLANNING HIS WEDDING... “…He wants her to plan his wedding. She wants to be his bride. Diving into the treacherous world of wedding planning, Hope keeps her word and arranges the vows for the one man she believes she could love...”

A Date for Midnight (The Dating Series Book 1) by L.P. Dover and Heidi McLaughlin <— THE ROCK STAR & THE NURSE ALERT!! “…There, amongst the craft beer and pork rinds, she comes face to face with her high school boyfriend, Brennan McLean. He’s a rockstar. She’s a nurse. To say life led them in different directions would be putting it mildly. Still, time hasn’t lessened the electric chemistry between them. By the end of the night more was dropping than just the ball...”

Her Seafaring Scoundrel (The Crawfords Book 3) by Sophie Barnes

The Highlander’s Lady Knight (Midsummer Knights Book 2) by Madeline Martin

How to Not Fall for the Guy Next Door: A Sweet and Humorous Romance by Meg Easton

At My General’s Command (Men of Fort Dale Book 4) by Romeo Alexander <— M/M ROMANCE!!

Swimming in the Dark: A Novel by Tomasz Jedrowski <— M/M ROMANCE!!

The Thief by Bonnie Dee <— M/M ROMANCE!!

The Wedding Dress: A Novel by Danielle Steel <— DANIELLE STEEL ALERT!! “…The Parisian design houses in 1928, the crash of 1929, the losses of war, the drug culture of the 1960s—history holds many surprises, and lives are changed forever. For richer or for poorer, in cramped apartments and grand mansions, the treasured wedding dress made in Paris in 1928 follows each generation into their new lives, and represents different hopes for each of them, as they marry very different men...”

Royally Treasured (Royal Sons MC Book 4) by Elle Boon

A Duke Too Far (The Way to a Lord’s Heart Book 4) by Jane Ashford <— HISTORICAL!!

Duke of Misfortune (Dukes of Destiny Book 4) by Whitney Blake <— HISTORICAL!!

The Rakess: Society of Sirens, Volume 1 by Scarlett Peckham <— HISTORICAL!!

The Hating Season: An Enemies-to-Lovers Romance by K.A. Linde <— K.A. LINDE ALERT!! SHE WAS HIRED TO CLEAN UP HIS IMAGE! “...I’m hired to clean up his badboy image, which would’ve been easy if my life wasn’t falling apart. First, I catch my movie star husband having an affair with his co-star. Then when I return to work, my job is at stake, because Court has gotten himself into trouble…again. Instead of getting him back in line, I find myself falling for his charm...”

Wicked at the Library: A Curvy Woman Romance (Curvy Librarians of Sugar Hill Book 1) by Liz Fox

Reid: An Eidolon Black Ops Novel by Maddie Wade

The Billionaire’s Navy SEAL (Sutton Billionaires Book 5) by Lori Ryan

Knocked Up by the Wrong Prince: An Accidental Pregnancy Romance (Knocked Up Royals Book 6) by Lilian Monroe

Who Will Save Your Soul: And Other Dangerous Bedtime Stories by Skye Warren <— SKYE WARREN ANTHOLOGY ALERT!! “…Features four novellas by New York Times bestselling author Skye Warren. Each standalone story ends in a happily ever after….”

Kyler’s Blind Date Seduction (Hot Hunks Steamy Romance Collection Book 4) by Stephanie Morris

Not the Bodyguard’s Boss: Sweet Bodyguard Romance (Hastings Security Book 3) by Lorin Grace

Necessary Risk (Aegis Group Task Force Book 4) by Sidney Bristol <— SHE HAS TO INFILTRATE A HAREM… “...Ivy Ashley is striking out. Fired from her gig as a live-in bodyguard, she’s at the end of her rope when she is asked to join a special task force for a one-off undercover job. It’s easy. All she has to do is infiltrate a harem. She even has back-up in the form of a lone-wolf spy with the sexiest lips she’s ever kissed…”

ImPerfectly Happy by Sharina Harris <— “…When four college friends formed the Brown Sugarettes Mastermind Group, they had very different goals—but matched each other in ambition. Yet ten years later they can’t help wondering what happened to the hopeful, confident, driven women they used to be—and how to get them back . . .”

Asking for Trouble (Credence, Colorado Book 3) by Amy Andrews

The Letter by Anthony Sciarratta <— FORBIDDEN LOVE SOULMATES ALERT!! “...Victor Esposito mysteriously dedicates every novel he’s ever written to one woman. His trademark protagonist fits the description of Eva Abrams, the bright-eyed and blonde Long Island housewife. Tragedy suddenly strikes Victor’s life when a courageous act leaves him in a coma. Hearing the news from a television broadcast, Eva finds herself suddenly overcome with the memories of a love affair she’d left behind a decade ago…“

Undeniably Perfect (Perfectly Imperfect Love Series Book 1) by S.E. Rose

Promise Me Always (Against All Odds Book 4) by Savannah Kade

How To Date Your Brother’s Best Friend: A snarky, steamy contemporary romance by Karigan Hale

Hook Up (Taking Chances Book 2) by TC Matson <— HER BOYFRIEND IS IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE ELSE... “…While I’m helping my best friend plan her wedding, I get hit with a bomb. One that ruins all my hopes and dreams of marriage and starting a family. My long-term boyfriend isn’t only a lying, cheating, piece of worthlessness, He’s also in love with the woman he’s been seeing behind my back. Now I’m forced to act like my best friend’s wedding isn’t going to hurt my soul while I try to mend my heart. What’s the best way to get over a broken heart? A no strings attached hook-up…”

Spooning Leads to Forking (Hot in the Kitchen Book 2) by Kilby Blades

Gone With the Rogue (First Comes Love Book 2) by Amelia Grey <— HISTORICAL!!!

Searching for Signs by Mandy Lee <— “…Fans of the award-winning and beloved television series “The Office” will enjoy a story reminiscent of Jim and Pam’s long-awaited and championed romance, while readers less familiar with the show will enjoy a bilateral story of two sensible people navigating the hardships of love and loss while stuck in their small Southern town and surrounded by quirky personalities...”

Deep in the Alaskan Woods (An Alaska Wild Novel Book 1) by Karen Harper <— SHE MOVES TO ALASKA FOR A NEW START… “…Alexandra Collister came to her estranged cousins’ B&B in Falls Lake, Alaska, looking for a fresh start. The surrounding forest can be harsh and unforgiving—luckily, rugged wilderness tracker Quinn Mantell offers to be her guide. Still recovering from a toxic previous relationship, Alex is wary of getting too close, but when savagely deep claw marks appear outside her bedroom window, keeping her distance from Quinn is no longer an option. Then a body turns up exhibiting the same ruthless slash marks, and Alex knows it isn’t a coincidence…”

The Ingredients of You and Me: A Novel (Hopeless Romantics Book 3) by Nina Bocci

Under an Alaskan Sky (A Wild River Novel Book 2) by Jennifer Snow

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Tags: 04282020, Book, Latest, Releases, Romance

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