#the main thing keepin me even remotely present is the soreness of my arm from the vaccine

[apathetic-fae]

I'm

✨spiraling✨

#i don't even know #I'm just exhausted #i woke up detached abd dissocaiting #the main thing keepin me even remotely present is the soreness of my arm from the vaccine #which is a yucky feeling bc it makes me think of when i hurt myself to try and cope with my dissociating #i feel like no one cares #which i know isnt reallt true but i isolate myself so much #I'm not important to anyone really #I'm that old friend who you like well enough and like running into #but never go out of your way to talk to and probably wouldn't notice if you never saw again #there are people who i still miss like a punch to the gut who I'm not sure i ever even truly mattered to #there are also people i miss like that who have simply left me behind #there's nothing here for them anymore #i'd have been better off dead before i cared about so many people and made it so i feel guilty for even thinking that #i don't wanna be here anymore #please can i go home #deppression #suicidal #anxiety #regret #the hurt